Hi, guys.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi. Hi.

What's happening? What's new?

Just taking a look at the world through a baby raccoon's eyes.

Is it better?

Not really.

Okay, yeah, yeah, there's more free food, but otherwise at least the baby raccoons in my yard, they have lots of free food. Yeah. Yeah. So should we talk about some unmitigated gall?

I think so.

Okay, I could go first because I've got a lifetime achievement award. An unmitigated gall.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Yeah. What lifetime achievement award?

Can we just do this without a special segment? I mean.

Okay.

All right, all right.

I'm starting it right now.

I like it.

This is for a truly special, special group of people. A body, if you will, a branch who saw all the gall that's ever existed and said, hold my beer. And it is the Supreme Court of the United States of America. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For a few reasons. I mean, another atrocity of a final week in June with some just real, real, real shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty decisions that will go down in history for all the wrong reasons why? Also a complete rewriting of judicial checks and balances. They don't give a shit about any of that.

No, that was wild. It's actually just done.

Yeah, just rolling on over. Also, lifetime appointments. What the fuck?

No.

Who has that? No, I don't want a lifetime appointment to a job. Why would I want a lifetime appointment.

To a Supreme Court? To anything.

To anything.

Can they leave when they want? They can leave.

Like, they can retire.

Amy Comey Barrett wants to open like a, I don't know, an Etsy store. Like that can just be like.

Yeah, we should encourage her to open an Etsy store so she gets the out of there.

Yeah, agreed.

Yeah. But also their ability to do wild swings because it's the 10 year anniversary of when they said gay marriage was legal and here we are since where corporations are people, women are not. And now we're just letting Trump do whatever the fuck he wants. So I just want to give a big congratulations to the Supreme Court for a lifetime achievement of gall. Especially Amy Coney Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh, and the OG definer of gall, Clarence Thomas.

He's so gross.

So gross.

Gross. That's the best word for it. It's just gross.

Just him and his wife. Just the gall of galls. Just living out gall and you know what's really.

And doling out decisions, especially Gaulish about the whole thing. What is that? I don't know about you, but when I was little, like the Those types of positions, in my mind, like, those are the greatest legal minds. Right. Like, that's a new level. Like, just like, oh, becoming an astronaut is like a new level in your field. You know, that's like something to aspire to. Like, those are the. They have, you know, done the work. They've been lawyers, they've been judged. Like, they. They are the thought people. Like, we're going to think this out and make the best. And now it's like, such a joke. And I feel so sad.

There's no thought. No.

I feel sad a lot of times for our youth because I'm like, why would you look up to that and think that was a goal worth achieving? You know, it sort of dummies down the US for centuries. Because people aren't going to look at that and say, oh, that's something I should aspire to.

Yeah. No, no. Yeah. It's just going to attract more of the, you know, crazy folks.

Yeah.

And the. The yes people and all of the ones who really like beer.

And none of them. You shouldn't be on the Supreme Court if you're partisan. Like, none of it should be. Like, nobody should be on it if you're. You obviously lean one way or the other.

You should be. Exactly.

You know, I shouldn't have any idea who you probably voted for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I shouldn't know either way.

So. Yay, America. Yay 4th of July. And yay to the new category of lifetime achievement, which you guys are more than willing or more than.

I don't know. That seems like a good group to have in there. I think we'll have to.

Well, I think we can handle multiple lifetime.

I do, too. But I think we have to really think about. I mean, that's. They have really done their job.

They've done their job.

Yeah, they have really some shit up.

Yes, they have. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, it's something to aspire to for all of the people that give us gall. Like, if you're out there and you've been thinking like, oh, they're probably. They probably find some gall with me, there's more room to go. Nowhere to go but up.

So much gall.

Yeah.

There for the taking.

What about you, Erin?

My unmitigated gall is grandchildren, but one in particular. All right.

Yeah.

One in particular today. And what it is, is because I. They are a delight, and they're also terrible. And so Mike and I often refer to them as Sour Patch Kids, because you get sour and then sometimes you get sweet.

Okay.

And Jax my 4 year old grandson did this yesterday to a T in a way that cut me to my core. Okay. I made dinner. They were at our house yesterday. I make dinner. And I'm trying to, you know which.

Is your favorite activity of all time.

If anyone knows me, they know I love to cook, but you can only order pizza so many times with your grandkids or, you know, buy them McDonald's Happy Meals. And I was like, I'll just make. They love, like, chicken strips and Mac and cheese. So, like, I made homemade chicken strips. Okay. Which my kids like. Okay. It'll be fine. Right? So Jax is going through a phase where he's not super pumped about eating in general.

Okay.

But so I get him to the table, he sits down, we're all at the table. He takes one bite and says, grandma. And I said, yeah. And he goes, this chicken is horrible. Oh, dead pan delivery. Death pan delivery. And I said, wow, okay. And no one else said anything. I said, no one's gonna defend that. It's better. Like, we're just all out here secretly believing it's horrible. And then no one said anything. I ate the chicken. It was fine.

So I don't know, did anybody else eat?

Oh, yeah, they all eat it. Okay. Yeah. So it was. It's just. It was purely Jack's thing. So then I'm kind of salty with him, right?

Yeah.

He eats his Mac and cheese. Doesn't eat anything else. So then I'm like, well, your snacks have. You don't get a treat. Your snacks have to be healthy, like apples, you know, cheese stick, whatever. And he said, I don't need a snack. And I was like, kid. Right? Right. We go outside later and he decides to do some chalk drawings, which the kid is very talented with chalk. I'm gonna give him that. I don't even know what goes through that kid's head, but he does. Shading. He blow on it. One time he asked Mike to get out a leaf. Bl. Blow the extra dust around so that it made a pattern. Yeah. So he draws a picture and says, grandma, this is for you. And it was a sweet little, like, oh, I thought it was, you know, rainbow happy.

Thought it was going to be like a penis or something.

No, it's going to be a chicken strip with a line through it.

Yeah. Horrible, horrible. And then I was like, oh, you're so sweet. And then right after that, his brother lost a ball. He threw it in the street, and it went down the drain before I could get it. And Ford is, you know, not quite too. So he wasn't understanding the concept that it's gone. Like, I can't get it.

And so show him Stephen King's it.

Yeah. Never, never go near a drain again, sweetie.

Little Jax goes, ford is gone. It's. It's with the fishes now. And somehow Ford accepted that, like, okay, the fishes want a ball, too.

Wow.

So you get both sides. But yesterday just was like, you know what, kid? You're horrible.

Them's fighting words.

It was. It was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And hitting you where it hurts, too, because, you know.

Yeah.

You're not super confident in your food.

I don't love to cook. It's just not something that I've ever like. I. I think it's partially because I have an insecurity about it, because I've never really been taught anything in the cooking arena, so everything I've learned, I've learned on my own. And you know when you do that, you feel like this isn't quite right. Like, I don't know if this is the right way to do this.

That's why I never want to cook for anyone. Yeah. I feel the same way. Yeah.

And you do your best, and. Yeah. And I was like, okay, well, note to self. There's not too many times to order pizza. We'd be done with this.

Well, it also doesn't help that. When was it? A few years ago, your youngest son called your. Was it beef and noodles or what was it?

No, it was like a stir fry with noodles.

Yeah.

Dirty old soup.

Yeah.

It's not even a soup. And he said, this tastes like dirty old soup. This is also the kid, though, that went to Lucky Lotus and said that his meal tasted like silverware.

That's true. He did. Yeah.

The good news is you can send them home.

True.

Yeah. You don't have to look at their list.

Wonderful. Yeah.

You can be like, sorry, now you're done.

Yeah. Now go home and eat your other food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ask them, do you want a refund?

Yeah.

Oh, you didn't pay for this.

Oh, you didn't pay. Oh, you're freeloading. At least just pretend, you know, you don't even have to say it out loud even if you didn't eat it. I've never in the history of time, forced a kid to eat food so well.

And we've all learned to pretend. That's a part of being a human is you have to pretend that the food you're eating that someone made for you isn't shit.

Right.

Would it have been better if you Would have eaten that chicken strip and then just like, mmm, mmm, over the top about it. This is the best thing I've ever had.

I'm more. I love you. So much violence. Like, you just ate your Mac and cheese and left the chicken. I would have gotten the idea, you know?

All right. What about you, Heath?

I mean, this isn't like Supreme Court level stuff, but my admin. It's bugs.

Agree. Hard. Agree.

I love that she came with Supreme Court lifetime achievement. I said grandkids, and you said bugs.

Yeah. We didn't. This is proof we don't meet about these things before we record everybody.

Right, Right.

We're finding out in real time what our.

What our research is. But that's the thing. Gaul has the spectrum.

Right.

There is gall way over here in the simple things. And then there's lifetime achievement goal. So we can talk about it all. Yeah. Yeah.

Specifically, bugs in my mouth. Oh, shit.

That's a whole new level. That is a lifetime achievement.

That is definitely lifetime achievement. Yeah.

I bet you get a lot when you bike ride.

That's what I. When I ride my bike, you have to. I mean, you know, you're working, and so you don't just breathe through your nose, you breathe through your mouth. And sometimes a bug gets in there. And you know what, bug? Why do you want to be in there?

Yeah. What are you doing?

Get the fuck out of there. Also, have you ever heard of consent? I didn't say that was okay, Bug.

You'Re entering my hole and you're not saying please.

My body, my choice, Bug. Get the fuck out of here.

Well, that reminds me of that quote this week from Real Housewives of Miami. Sometimes what's good for the whole isn't good for the soul.

Oh, yep.

Yeah.

Which is facts, Bug.

Yep. It is. So that Buck needs to. All the bugs need to watch more Real Housewives. I think they'd all be better off.

Agreed.

Agreed. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's. It's particularly gross. On the bike trails that are near the river, there'll be lots of little mats, and they're just kind of stuck all over you when you get home. And, I mean, I know that going in, but still, I don't. I want to have my mouth open if I want.

Do you feel like. And that is your right. Especially during pride.

I'm a white man in America. I can have my mouth open if I want. Want.

I feel like we need to start a special segment that is Heath not trying to convince us to bike ride. Like, we're already There, like, every time.

He rides his bike, we're there. Yeah.

He's like, oh, it's hot out. Yeah. Now there's bugs in my mouth.

Yeah, no, thanks.

Don't even get me started on the people on the bike trail.

Oh, that would be some gall, too. Do you think that by the time you return home, though, you've gotten some extra protein?

Probably.

Bugs.

Bugs, yeah. Okay. That's good.

Yeah. I feel like it is entertaining, though, for the other people on the bike trails, though, when I do swallow one, I'm like. And they're, like, passing me, and they're like, oh, well, he'll probably die.

No need to stop.

I was going to go, just. Bugs in general was disgusting. So. Yeah, in your mouth. That's where they don't belong. Definitely. Should we do a little recap? All right. Because we're talking about 1991. And I will say our last 1991 episode was pretty toit.

T O I G H. That was.

Not the word I was expecting, and I liked it.

I Talked about Terminator 2. I talked about a roundup of weird news, and I talked about the end of the Soviet Union because, as we know, I'm on the Soviet beat. By the way, a follow up on that thing I didn't know that I discovered this week is that when the Soviet Union ended, there was a Soviet cosmonaut who was in space, and he was not able to return. So he stayed in space for 10 months because they didn't have their together down there to bring him back down.

And they knew for 10 months. And I'm apparently waiting for like.

Well, that was like those two that were up there forever.

Actually, I take that back. He was supposed to do military service during that time when he was stuck up in space, but. And the army almost issued a desertion warrant because they couldn't find him. And then they realized, oh, he's still up in space.

Huh?

That's what happens when the whole government collapses, is you forget the guys up in space.

Can you imagine, though, if they would have come back? They're like, why are you late for military service? I was in space. Okay, sure, sure, sir.

Yeah. Aaron, you talked about the Carmen Sandiego show, Quality Television. You talked about KFC changing its name.

I mean, do you.

Kfc? And then you gave us maybe the best story of all time, which was the Turtle Pies. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Turtle Pies.

And we discovered Pie Foot.

You guys decided that was the reason that my feet are screwed up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Good. Heath, you talked about don't tell mom, the babysitter's dead. Talked about the Maury Povich Show.

Yeah, yeah.

And you talked about Whitney Houston killing the national anthem. So shall we move on to 1991?

I think we shall.

Okay. I've got my first one is Pearl Jam releases 10, the album. But more than that, the song. Jeremy was on that album.

What's funny is just it was probably Tuesday or Wednesday. I was. I left work and I was sitting at a stoplight and I could hear the car next to me had Jeremy turned up so loud. I could hear it in my car. And we both had the windows closed.

Whoa.

Whoa. Yeah. Cause I kind of look, you know, you. I hesitantly looked over because you don't want to make eye contact with somebody next to you. And then you're just sitting there at the stoplight. Wait, you know, and it's kind of.

Or make it seem like you're like angry. Right. Like I always feel like I make eye contact. It looks like I'm saying something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I kind of. I kind of glanced over and yeah, he was enjoying it. And it didn't. I couldn't get a read on the age between the window tints and stuff. So I don't know if it was like a teenager or if it. Somebody who was like our ish age. Seems. That seemed really loud to be listening.

To it, but I'm gonna say it's a teenager who's discovered that this song still slaps 34 years later.

Excellent use of slaps.

Thank you. I was gonna say. Was that right?

It was.

It was. Okay.

Stellar.

Thank you. So the song, as we may remember, tells the story of a troubled kid with shitty parents who gets more and more angry and then something really bad happens. But that bad thing was sort of muddled. First, the inspiration for the song came from a real story. Jeremy Wade Dell, who was a 15 year old boy from Texas. He took his own life in front of his classmates on in 1991. In January, he briefly left class after his teacher told him to get an attendance slip. He returned instead with a.357 Magnum and said, Miss, I got what I really went for. And then he shot himself.

Oh, gosh.

Oh my God, that teacher.

So that story was kind of built on in the video for Jeremy, which came out in 1992. But the song, you know, was part of the album from 1991. I don't know if you remember, but it. That video was everywhere on all the Time. But what was really Wild is that it kind of presented an unclear end to the story that then people used in bad ways, as we are want to do in America. So in the video director's original edit, which I didn't know until I saw this, and it's now available on YouTube, Jeremy is clearly seen putting the gun barrel in his mouth. But in the cut that we saw on mtv, they cut out that part. So for so long, I know I was still unsure, did he shoot himself or did he shoot the kids?

Right.

And so by cutting that part, they inadvertently like sort of advertised a school shooting instead of a suicide.

Yeah.

So of course, as happened in the 80s and 90s, the adults freaked because in 1996, a 14 year old boy named Barry entered Frontier Middle School in Washington. He shot and killed two fellow students and his teacher. And at the trial, his attorneys said that the boy was inspired by two pieces of media, the Stephen King novel Rage and the Jeremy video. And the attorney went so far as to say, this boy is Jeremy. And I bet he thought, this is my killer line. I am getting it after this. But the defense failed and the. The kid was found guilty and went to jail for many, many, many years. We all remember Malcolm Gladwell. I think you took some opportunity to bitch about him on broads and books and how he just gets things wrong.

Yeah, he just, it's. He goes to the simplest idea and says that that's like the solution for everything. No nuance.

Yeah. So years later, in an article for the New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell seized upon that story of that kid and the defense as the beginning of the modern phenomenon of school shootings. No, but as he commonly was, he was wrong, because there was a study in 2018 that said there were actually more school shootings in the early 90s than in the years afterward. But the difference now is that each school shooting is amplified more, it's taken more seriously, they seem more impactful, that kind of thing. So all of that to say. So there's this big uproar about the video, right? And this was one of Pearl Jam's relatively first videos because this is their first album. The album is going bonkers. It's doing great. I think they maybe had Evenflow come out first and maybe another video. So then when Jeremy come out and lots of people were like, what the kind of thing, they declared they would not make videos anymore. In fact, the. The guitarist Jeff Amenti said, ten years from now, I don't want people to remember our songs as videos. Eddie Vedder immediately agreed, saying that the next Pearl Jam record wouldn't have any videos. A vow that would hold true for the next five years. And he said, I don't even have mtv.

And MTV clutched their pearls and said, excuse me.

But also, I mean, we probably all know, like, Pearl Jam, they've been very prolific in, like, supporting causes and things like that. And so once they sort of found out that, like, especially young white men started taking this as, like, this is like, our folk hero kind of thing, he never again wrote songs that would express any sort of sympathy for potentially violent white guys.

Right.

Instead, he began criticizing those people in his lyrics.

So it's sad because that's a nuanced issue. Right. I mean, the reason they wrote that song is because they're, you know, they were already. Which I think is the getting more attention, probably still not the amount that it deserves, but they were trying to bring notice to mental health issues and those types of things and, you know, how we impact people every day. And instead it got taken like that.

Which is, you know, as it happens, right? And as I started to say the, you know, the defense that they were using, like, the song made him do it, you were starting to shake your head because we all know those stories, right? Of like, oh, my God, the music made them do it. The movies made him do it after Columbine.

Yeah. They were like, it was the Matrix.

It was the Matrix made them do it. Yeah.

You know, there's been violence in movies and on TV for years and years and years, and millions of people have not gone out and done the things they've seen in the. In the movies.

And more than movies, there's violence on. On the TV news. There's violence in the, you know, like. Well, also too easy explanation that never.

Fully explains things because if one thing is true, then the opposite should be true. Like, why aren't there a bunch of people out in the world, you know, there's a bunch of social justice movies. Why doesn't that inspire loads and loads of people? If we have this, you know, ability to influence someone just with a movie or just with a song or just with a show, like, it doesn't. It doesn't hold true on both sides.

Yeah. And we all know, like, I mean, power of stories, right? Like, love some good stories, but we can also differentiate reality from not.

That's where the problem is. It isn't the story. It isn't what. The violence. It isn't what you're seeing. It's the inability to differentiate because we're failing society in certain Aspects for sure.

But really what came out of this is that I discovered Eddie Vedder was hot.

That is a discovery.

Yeah, like 1991. Eddie Vedder.

Peak. Oh, peak.

Long hair Eddie Vedder.

He's really made it terrible because, like you're. At least for me, some of my first dating experiences, I was like, oh, okay, so the, the fantasy is not as great. Like you're actually just kind of a grungy person.

Yes. So the guy that's looking like Eddie Vedder actually isn't cruel.

Like Eddie.

Better. Yeah. Same thing with the Nirvana guys. Same thing with all of the bands. It was definitely my type, though.

All right, so I'm gonna bring a fun true crime story. I still have questions and I think you will too. Okay, so this happened in 1991 in Amsterdam. And it was. It's a pretty famous museum theft because it was the Vincent Van Gogh National Museum in Amsterdam. And it's one of the largest but also the most short lived art thefts on record. Because they did take a record 20 paintings out of the museum, which is a crazy amount. They took some of his most famous paintings.

But my question always with art thefts like this. And maybe you'll address this maybe. I'm sorry if I'm jumping.

No, no, you're fine.

Like, when you steal a famous painting like that, what are you gonna do with it?

Yeah, like, how are you gonna.

It might be worth a ton, but like, it's not. Like you can just go sell it to like, you know, people down the street and they're gonna put in their living room and no one's gonna.

No, there's apparently there's a very large. As most things on the black market and I think has gotten more prolific with the Internet. There's a very large underground like black market for stolen goods. So like this would change hands and no one would know. And it's like creepy ass billionaire trillionaire Colle. Keep it in a locked place. No one knows they have it because they know it's stolen. But it's like, you know, I don't.

Know, but that's their thing. It's just knowing that they have this thing.

Jeff Bezos has to have a whole room full of stolen art.

Yeah, it feels like, I mean, this is like a cartoony kind of description of it, but it almost feels like the Knives out movies, like, you know how they like have these elaborate places that they live and all this art and. Yeah. And you know, most people don't, I would imagine if you're art collector and you're in the art world, you have a good idea of what paintings are where or like, when, if they've been stolen or whatever. But, like, if you. If I went to a billionaire's house and you showed me some Vincent van Gogh painting, I would be like, wow, that's amazing that you have that. It wouldn't even occur to me that that had ever been stolen. So there's a lot of questions that happened throughout this theft for me that I just. I just. There's no answers to, but they should be asked. The thieves appeared in the museum at about 3am on Sunday morning. They concealed themselves when the museum closed Saturday at 5:00pm oh, that's my first question that's so long to hide out in a museum that has security guards.

And where were you hiding?

Apparently, from what I can gather, in the bathroom on top of the toilets.

And what?

That's another question that's not just part of security protocol to bust those doors open and make sure they're empty. I would think that's true of any place you close down. Yeah, like, that's. That's middle school. 101 standing on a toilet, like, what are we doing?

And then you do that supposedly for what, like 10 hours or something?

So long to be in there. And then we. Are you talking ever to your buddies? Like, how'd you. Was it 3am on your watches? Or you guys are just like, I don't think anyone's coming. And then you all jumped out, like. So one thief emerged from the bathroom wearing a ski mask and wielding a gun. He then approached two of the security guards that were on duty and locked one in a storeroom who they later believed was an accomplice. The one that he locked in the store room and forced the other security guard to open the front door and disable the museum security systems. At this point, another thief enters. They carefully scanned the museum for 45 minutes.

Wait, did the thief enter from outside?

That's what's unclear to me because they make it sound at one point like there was multiple of them in the bathroom. But then one did come in the front door as well.

So he didn't have to wait in the bathroom all night.

He just got to walk. Waltz right in. Although. Okay, so that's. That in of itself is wild. You're in the museum for 45 minutes. Like, there's no other security. I mean, 1991 isn't like we're not in the stone age of technology.

It's still just a few minutes. I assume police Response, Right. Yeah.

If the security systems gets disabled at the Vincent Van Gogh National Museum, like, that doesn't trigger anything.

Yeah.

So 45 minutes they walked around and decided which ones to take. That's my second question.

Okay.

They could have done that ahead of time.

They could have done that ahead of time.

They could have gone in Saturday during the day or any other day.

Saturday to get concealed. Why didn't you walk around and see.

Your just wasting valuable time.

I'll take that one.

This is when I was like, these are dummy chickens. These are people not prepared. I'm sorry, but if we were pulling off an art heist, we would be prepared. I would know where it was, what location.

We'd have a list and a map.

And then we check that list off.

Yes.

I'd bring things to do while we waited for 10 hours.

Thank you. Yeah.

We would have silent activities that Heath brought us.

Yes.

And snacks.

And we'd have a better hiding place. We wouldn't be hiding on top of the toilets.

Yeah, that's just on the management. You are. You are gonna have to stand up and stretch.

Yeah.

What if you have to use the bathroom? I mean, it. The whole thing is. It's wild. Yeah. I feel like you're trying to get caught, but.

Okay, this is.

At this point, they leave the Van Gogh museum in one of the guards cars, and for some reason, they felt the need to tell us that that was a Volkswagen Passat.

And so we're getting some. Some free advertising in with this story.

We also just liked that detail. Like, let's pile into this Volkswagen. Volkswagen Passage.

But I also feel like you're also telling the police, like, this is the car we're in and this is the license plate. Like, you know, because someone, the security guard is gonna figure out their car is gone.

Right.

And they're gonna put that together and they're gonna be like, you know, if.

You look for that car, if you.

Didn'T steal that car, if you had your own car, I mean, they wouldn't know that. They wouldn't know what the car was because no one would be like, this is missing.

And you took 20 paintings, and they apparently, like, shoved them into, like, duffel bags. But so I'm assuming.

Wait, you weren't even prepared to, like.

Because I'm guessing they didn't take the frames. I think they cut the paintings out. Like, they. Because I don't know how you would get 20 paintings in frames in duffel bags and fit them into Volkswagen.

Yeah, yeah.

And so my bet. My. This Brings up a whole nother logistic question, which is why didn't you just like have a van.

Yeah.

That you had somewhere around the premises that we got into?

Yeah.

That doesn't make any sense to me.

Certainly that museum has a vehicle that they use to move things. They must move things from time to time. They must have a van.

They could have used that 10 hours standing on the toilet to plan some.

Of this better and then abort mission and come back next weekend. Like, oh, you know what? We tried. This part works. This part doesn't.

Yep.

Yeah.

Dry run. Take a dry run.

So this is the rest of the cockamamie plant. They make it as far as the Amsterdam Amstel railway station where they were going to have a planned rendezvous with a different car. So this is where they're going to ditch the car. This was thwarted when that car got a flat tire.

Oh, no.

The car that was going to come pick them up. Oh, no.

So they did what they thought was right in that situation, I guess, and they just abandoned the first car and the paintings and fled. Just decided we're about to get caught. We're done. Like, flat tire. I'm out. This is too many things that went wrong.

I'm out.

The universe is telling us something.

Yeah.

We would have also come up with a better way to stash the stolen art, but also like a way like if things go wrong, we're not going to just ditch what we stole.

I think just a, you know, 17 point inspection at CarMax before we're ready to go car sales, car wherever, car.

X. Yeah, you know, that's a good point too.

To make sure your tires are road worthy and ready to carry 20 paintings of.

Maybe just take those cars for a little tune up.

Yeah. I'm also like. So they had very limited skill base too. Like no one in that, in that criminal crew could hotwire a car. Like there was nothing else around the railway station that you could use to get away. You just left it all in the car and said, well, it was a good run. We did our.

We did what we came to do.

Yeah, we got the paintings. So the paintings, some of them were torn badly, some of them were damaged. But apparently there is some art recovery people or, you know, processes that allowed them to fix a lot of the paintings that were damaged. Some of them weren't damaged at all. Three months later they had four people arrested for it. They were all Dutch nationals. I don't know why we had to know that, but we did.

Okay.

Who they would all spend Years in prison. But they also suspect that they were working with higher authorities, but they could never get anyone to give up anybody else in the crime that they think that maybe this was ordered by someone who was trying to sell them or get them or something like that.

So not someone, like within the government or something?

But it could be. But I think they were more indicating that it was someone with more money.

And more ability or something. With these.

Yeah.

Yes. Oh, and Hans Gruber saw them, like, give all this stuff up, and he's like, unacceptable.

Yeah, done.

Wait, Hans Gruber died by this point? So he wasn't. Yeah.

Maybe it's Hans Gruber's cousin.

Descendant.

Yeah, it's the guy that Jeremy Irons played later in Die Hard with a vengeance.

Yeah.

Yeah. This is the part that killed me.

Okay.

The paintings were not covered by insurance because of increased premiums because there was a rash of thefts around this time in art museums that premiums for art museum and art was going way up. And the museum said, like, it would make more sense for us to just spend extra money on security as opposed to paying these insurance premiums. So that was my last question. How'd that work out for you?

Yeah.

How did that go at the board meeting when you're like, well, we opted to spend more money on security and.

We got an ace team.

Yeah. And then they stole from us, and now we don't have the insurance money to. They had to pay out of pocket to have those paintings restored and all that.

Is the museum still around?

Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Wow. Probably cost 500 to get in.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

And they probably set up a whole display about. This is how this all happens.

I would think you would. I mean, why wouldn't you? Yeah.

Come. Take advantage. Yeah.

Well, now. You know, the thing I don't know about Amsterdam and the Vincent Van Gogh museum, but I feel like there's this big trend towards, like, everything being interactive. So, like, you pretend you're the robber and you jump out of the bathroom, and you have to get this painting out of a frame in five seconds.

Or they have overnight adventures where, like, okay, we're gonna lock you in at five o' clock and everyone jump out at three.

Yeah. And then you have to run.

Oh, no.

Your car.

You have to spend 45 minutes choosing the right painting. And if you choose wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. The whole thing from beginning to end is so interesting to me because. What a failure.

Yeah.

Just a failure.

I really enjoy that. Most of the true crime failures that you bring are just a bunch of dudes that got way in over their heads.

It's not. They're not forwarded by police. Let's be clear. Security didn't do their job. Interpol didn't, you know, catch him at the railway station. Nobody gave a shit. They got caught by their own stupidity. Like no one was going to catch them. And they just. It failed miserably.

Wow. What do you got, Heath?

I would like to discuss a film called Silence of the Lamb.

Oh, let's do it. Yep.

It came out on Valentine's Day in 1991, which I think is so fitting. Yeah.

What?

And we know it stars Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins. And the movie's based on the novel of the same name that came out in 1988. The author was Thomas Harris. And this was actually the second book that included a Hannibal Lecter. The first one was Red Dragon, which was the basis for a film from 1986 called Manhunter, which was not a big success.

And that was like William Peterson from csi, right? Yeah.

In the film, Clarice Starling, that's who Jodie Foster plays. She's a promising FBI trainee, and she's recruited to interview Hannibal Lecter by one of her instructors. The FBI is pursuing a serial killer who goes by the name Buffalo Bill. And they think that Hannibal Lecter might give them some insights to help capture him. So the guy right. In the hospital where Lecter is locked up is an absolute creep. Clarice Starling, when he meets her, which is really saying something because he seems like an absolute creep despite the presence of all of these lunatics.

Yeah. He's a duper creep.

Yeah. Sort of stand out in that environment. It's really, you know, it's a cut above.

Yeah.

When Starling and Lecter. Chad. He figures out why they want to talk to and what she doesn't really like, and Starling decides to leave. And then the guy in the cell next to Lecter throws semen at her when she walks by, which is not cool, dude.

Not cool.

Again, not cool.

You're like, acting like a bug on a bike trail.

Consent, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you. As someone who literally had shit on them yesterday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't think of a lot of things worse than someone. Someone unprompted, throwing semen at you.

A stranger semen on you, just hitting you. Yeah. Nope. And it gets her in the face, doesn't it?

I could not recover. I'm done. I leave the FBI. That is it.

And it's right after, like, Lecter had, like, pushed all her buttons and then, like, kind of scared her off. And so she's running and everyone's screaming and se comes flying.

That's just an insult to injury, but.

It does makes Elector feel a little bit bad for her. So he kind of decides to give her some clues. It seemed like prior to that, he was just like, nah, I'm not doing this. But, you know, so I guess. Thanks, semen guy.

Yeah. Oh, he was in his cell and was just like, oh, shit.

Yeah.

Now I'm gonna have to gain something. He threw it. He hit her in the face. Oh, damn it.

I mean, I eat people, but that is going too far.

I'll guess I'll throw her a bone.

Yeah.

This is why no one comes to visit us, you guys.

Yeah. This is why they cut Mr. Hours all together.

So Lecter later kills the semen thrower, as we know, and decides to help with the investigation on the condition that they transfer him to a different facility. So he sort of takes us. He's an opportunity person. He takes us as a way to sort of make his situation better.

I mean, I can't blame him.

Around this time, Buffalo Bill abducts the daughter of a US Senator. The Senator offers Elector a transfer deal, and if he tells her something that will help find her daughter, but it turns out that deal was bullshit. Lecter talks to Starling again, but won't give up new information until she shares some personal details of her own life. Because now he's sort of just enjoying kind of, this game that he's playing with her. Now is when we find out there's some problematic information about trans people is shared, and we'll kind of skip over that.

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Lecter does eventually get transferred from the hospital to a glass cell in a Memphis courthouse, meets with the Senator, and tells her the name of the man who has her daughter is Lewis Friend. But that's not true, right? He just tells her that Starling figures out that Lewis Friend is an anagram for iron sulfide, AKA Fool's gold.

Come on. That's too much. My daughter's missing. God damn it.

Why are we playing animals?

I can't play jumbo games right now. No time for Wordle. Let's go.

She gets on Lecter's case about it, but he won't tell her anything else until she tells him more personal stuff. At this point, she tells the story about living on an Alto's farm when she was young and how she regrets not saving the spring Lambs from slaughter. But she thinks saving the senator's daughter will help her get over that.

Yep, yep. Clear through line, right?

Uh huh. Uh huh.

It's totally the same.

Later that night, Lecter escapes his cell by picking the lock of his restraint with a piece of a pen that he got his hands on. So he kills the two guards outside his cell and uses one of their faces as a mask while escaping. And, you know, creative thinking. I mean, I'll give him credit for.

That as you do.

More of a commitment than the museum security guards or the deft people.

Like, he had an actual plan.

Yeah.

And it involved grossness, but it was a plan.

And I think when you're going into that level crime, you have to know you're going to be. You might get pushed to limits where you have to do some weird things.

And they might have to cut a.

Face, deal with a flat tire.

And you know, somebody was like clearing that up and was like, we're missing a face. Yep, we're missing a face.

We're missing, we're missing a face.

Be sure in the APB to say there might be a face.

Also, can you imagine just looking at like the two cleanup crew and they're like, what would he do with a face? And then you're both like, cool, cool. Do you think he's wearing it? No, he probably just kept it as secret.

We probably just ate it. It's fine.

It's cool, it's cool, it's cool. Don't think about it. Just sweep.

Yeah, just sweep.

But I mean, now Clarice now has enough information to figure out what. Where Buffalo Bill is and that he's planning to make a skin suit out of women. So that's what we've sort of bet.

Well, it's nice to tie back. It's a full circle moment. Yeah.

So Starling chases the suspect into his own basement where she finds the senator's daughter and is stalked by Buffalo Bill in the dark as he uses night vision goggles. And that is creepy.

Fucking scene to this day.

Yeah. The scariest shit I've ever seen in a movie when she's walking around and, yeah, you don't know where it is.

Reaches out a hand and doesn't touch her.

But yeah, she kills Buffalo Bill, saves the senator's daughter, and graduates from the FBI. So good job, Clarice.

So is Hannibal Lecter Buffalo Bill?

No.

Oh, okay, sorry, I got confused. I've never seen the movie.

Oh, is that clear?

Sorry, I'm not sure. Do you like scary movies?

Not particularly.

It might not be for you.

Yeah. I don't. I think that's why I've never seen it, because it hasn't. I mean, the psychological element to it was always interesting.

And that, I think, is the most part. But, yeah, there's just a really few, like, really potent scenes that are scary as fuck.

Okay.

During her graduation reception thing, whatever. Lecter calls Starling and assures her that he's not gonna come after her. And he asks that she return the favor. And she does not make that promise. You know, she's a full fledged FBI lady now. She doesn't want to tell him that. He does share that he's having an old friend for dinner. And then you see the guy who ran the hospital where Lecter was locked up is walking nearby. So it sort of, you know, suggests that he's gonna kill him and eat him. Because, you know, Hannibal Lecter was a cannibal.

And at that point, the audience is weirdly like, good job. Yeah, go get him.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

Several actresses were considered for the role of Clarice Starling before Jodie Foster was cast. Michelle Pfeiffer, which I could. I could see.

Yeah.

Meg Ryan, I cannot see.

No, that doesn't fit.

No.

Laura Dern.

Sure. Okay. I mean, she can do anything, but. Yeah.

Not as good as Michelle Pfeiffer, though, I feel like. I mean, not that she can't do things as good as Michelle Pfeiffer. I just feel like Michelle would fit better in there. Yeah.

And then Molly Ringwald.

No, no, no.

Molly. Oh, shoot.

You know, in an alternate universe, Molly Ringwald was in Silence of the Lambs, just like Eric Stoltz was in Back.

To the Future, Samantha Baker from Sixteen Candles.

And in that universe, things are weird. Things are real weird.

The film was only one of three movies to win all five major categories at the Academy Awards.

Wow.

Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor and Actress, and then Best Adapted Screenplay. The other two films are It Happened one night from 1934.

Oh, yeah.

And One Flew over the cuckoo's nest from 1975. And it's still the only horror movie to ever win Best Picture.

Did they call it a full horror movie?

I think that's probably kind of subjective. I think it's.

Yeah.

But even it's the closest thing to a horror movie to have ever won.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it kind of, like, shares a lot with, like, today's, you know, Hereditary and Midsummer and stuff like that, where there's a little bit of gore, but it's Much more like a Mind than anything. Yeah.

So, yeah, I remember my mom dropping my friends off the theater to see it. Sounds a Little Lamb, which seems weird. I had to get a ride from my mom to go see this movie.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

It's a good movie.

So you were what, like, 15 or so? Yeah, yeah.

There's some big gaps in my pop culture knowledge, but I know so. I mean, that speaks Silence of the Lambs. It's so iconic. Because I know so much of the movie or so much about the characters and things. Just because it's referenced so much. Maybe I will.

Excellent choice.

Yeah, that was a good one.

I want to talk about a Broadway musical.

Oh, boy.

Is it Moose Murders?

It's not Moose Murders. This one was actually a success.

I got some. A lot of posts out of Moose Murders.

I still can't believe that you thought it was a Moose purge. I loved that. I loved it so much. Like, I think it's a purge situation.

Well, I didn't know if it was like, they had an overpopulation. You know how they do that in Florida and they pay people to kill snakes? Like, I thought it was something like that. Like, they overtook Minnesota.

Just had to kill all the moose. No, this is actually a success. It premiered in 1991 after premiering in 89 in London in the West End. So 1991 on Broadway, and then it ran for 20 years. And it's Miss Saigon.

I've seen this.

Have you seen it?

Yeah.

Okay. This was the first Broadway show I saw on Broadway.

Whoa.

Because I took trip. Exactly.

I didn't see it on Broadway.

I took a trip in 1994 with Smarty Kids, And I'll come back to that. But it was right up my alley because. Well, I'll get into that, too. So it's 1975.

Oh, what a teaser.

Yeah.

This whole thing is a TV after the break.

So it's 1975 in Saigon. The Americans have already lost the war, but they're still sort of hanging on in this embassy with a lot of disgruntled soldiers with time to kill. So they head to a brothel in the city run by a guy called the Engineer. And all of his girls are getting ready for the night's big show. And there's a new girl, Kim. She's 17. She's lost all her family to the war. She's trying to survive. And because she's a virgin, she's a hot commodity. I'm gonna stop here and say.

Yeah, wait.

That I loved this show. But there are some fucking issues with this show, and we're gonna get into those.

I would. I would think you wouldn't be a virgin at a brothel for very long. Like, I would think. I, like.

Like, this is, like, first day.

This is her first day.

So they're still showing her where the break room is.

Exactly. Engineer is like, tonight, we are gonna make some money off this girl.

All right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. So Chris and John are two soldiers who are at the brothel, and Chris falls in love at first sight with Kim. But now as an adult, my question is.

So Chris is also a virgin?

No. My question is, how old is Chris? Because he's an officer. And so I'm thinking, like, wait, and he's been at the war for a while, so how old are you, dude? And why are you in love with a 17 year old? But. Okay. One of the many, many questions.

It's also interesting because who the playwright had the option to make, like, just say she was 18 or 19. Like, that story would still work. Like, her family was gone and she had no way to support herself. Like, there was actually no reason to do that specifically.

Yeah. Huh. Nope.

Okay.

So Chris buys Kim and they spend the night together, and he asks her to move in the next day.

Oh, God.

Oh, no. So these never had an orgasm?

Okay, so these two shack up.

But then Chris, keep it in your brown.

But then after, like, two days, Kim's old boyfriend Tui shows up and he's an officer in the Viet Cong slash communist army, and Chris kicks him out. But as he leaves, Tui curses them.

God damn it.

Just days later, the embassy falls to the comments.

This is one of those times I wish that we had, like, visual recording because he's shifty eyes when he said he cursed them. Or amazing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just days later. Then the embassy falls to the communists and Chris is forced to evacuate. He can't get in touch with Kim, and so he leaves Kim behind. And by the way, it's a huge scene in the play. There's a. Like a full facsimile of a helicopter that comes in from the top, lands, picks up people, and then takes off again. Monumental.

And when I saw it, I think I was in my. I think early 20s. I was in college, and I was so amazed by the helicopter brushed right over the.

Oh, me too. Me too. Yeah, yeah. So then it's three years later, and Kim is still in Saigon and she's still pining for Chris. And then Tui finds her, and he Demands that she come with him. But she reveals she has a son, Chris's son.

Oh.

And Tui's like, nuh, we gotta kill that half breed.

Oh, What?

Yep. Yeah. So he tries to kill the kid.

Oh, Jesus.

But Kim kills him instead.

Okay.

And because he is an officer in the Viet Cong in this new government, she has to go on the run. So somehow she hooks up with the engineer again, and they're friends, even though he was her pimp. And they go off to Bangkok.

Her work friend became her real friend.

Exactly.

It's really a story about workplace friendships.

Meanwhile, Chris is in America and is married.

Oh, that son of a.

To Ellen DeGeneres. Yes.

Oh, they can break that up really easy then.

Is this a prequel to Mr. Wrong?

Yep. It kind of feels that way. Chris had been looking for Kim for years, but then somehow fell in love and got married within three years.

I don't know.

He finally finds out where Kim is, so he brings his wife to Bangkok, where Kim is now hiding. And then Kim finds out her great love is married. And so she wants Chris and Ellen to take her son to America. And so she kills herself so that they have no choice but to take him. And that's the end of the show.

Yeah. It's a heavy one.

So here's some issues.

Yeah.

Yeah. Besides the whole 17 year old with possibly a 35 year old, who knows? The engineer was played by a white guy, Jonathan Price, and he wore eye prosthesis. Prosthesis. Prosthetics and bronzing cream.

Oh, gosh.

Wait a minute. What do you mean by eye prosthetics?

So that they would.

Yeah, but like, what are they putting on? Like, are we calling tape eye prosthetics?

I guess so. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm just like, what do we. We made a mask. Like, what are we, Hannibal Lecter now? How do you. We do this? Okay.

Yeah.

Got it.

And they killed a Asian American every night and used that face.

Yes. Well, I was seeing like. Like silicone eyes. And then they were like, you know, makeuping like they do, like the. But they just.

A ton of bronzing cream. Yeah. I don't know.

Wow.

In fact, he's not the only one. All the Asian men were played by white guys.

Oh.

But then all the Asian women were played by Asian women. And they were all very scantily clad and objectified and all the things.

Right, of course.

So the writers and creators are white guys and Americans. So we're working with a flawed viewpoint from the start and some heavy objectification. Some heavy, like weird orientalism stuff happening there, you know. They were inspired to create the musical after seeing a photo of a mother of a half American kid sending her child away. And I have a picture that must.

Have been quite the photo.

Yeah. So the mother is standing there, the child is being dragged away, and the mother is standing there in pain. And the creators say that's what the whole story line came to them.

Does this still run?

Yes.

Okay.

After the original production ran for a few years, another huge issue. They changed the songs. Sometimes just the lyrics, sometimes entire songs. So the original recording is kind of hard to find. They did a full George Lucas and we're just like, let's with something that everyone loves and just change it. All the original songs are amazing and the story has enough wartime drama to compel, you know, it's. It's great. I saw this in 1994. I was almost 17 myself and I was on a smarty pants kid trip, trip to New York and dc. It was a week long trip which centered around visiting the un for some reason, I don't remember why or what. I don't really remember anything in the cities besides Miss Saigon. Like, I showed up to this play, I had no idea what it was about. And then I was like, I am obsessed. I got the. I got the soundtrack. I still have the two CD set.

Oh, wow.

Downstairs. One thing I haven't mentioned, besides the Soviet Union, I was obsessed with World War II and the Vietnam War. So this was right up my alley.

That tracks.

Yeah. And then I saw it again when I moved to Chicago in 2000. There was a touring production and that's when I discovered they changed all the songs because I had memorized the whole thing. And I'm starting to like in my head, singing along. I'm like, wait, what, what, what are you doing? They like changed plot lines. It was up.

They changed it because it was. They were problematic before and they were trying to like write the ship. Or did they just change it because they were like, let's change it for the sake of changing it.

Yeah. I tried to look up like, what was the rationale? And all I could find was that the writers were just like, well, we just got to keep making this, you know, better. We just got to keep tweaking it.

Like they thought people would come and see it again who've already seen it if they knew it was different.

It's a great question.

It's a dumb move because, like, people go and see the same, like, I'll see Les Mis anytime It's here because I love that music and love the whole story. Like, I. If you change the songs on that, I would be livid. I would walk out. There's no way.

Well, there was all sorts of discussions on Reddit in particular, where there were people who were. Like, the changes were so dumb too. Like, they made the songs objectively worse. Like, the lyrics are shittier. Like, they're just not. You know, the original songs had nuance and metaphor and these new songs do not. Yeah. So that's me seeing Miss Saigon. It also reminded. Because I was remembering the New York trip and the DC trip, and there were maybe like 50 of us chosen from across the Des Moines area, all Des Moines schools. And it reminded me. Then when I moved to Chicago, I met a friend and she told me that she also went to New York, but when she was in middle school and she grew up in Louisiana and her teacher, her ancient geriatric teacher, which, who knows if she actually was ancient.

Right. She was probably like 41.

Yeah, probably. We're probably her age. Yeah. She took a bunch of the middle school kids to New York. They. They took like a school bus up to New York from Louisiana.

Oh, my God.

And then she basically drove or they drove into Times Square, opened the bus doors and said, have at it. See, in 10 hours. And just let these kids, just let these southern small town kids just run around the city.

Was. This was in the mid-90s, right? When times Square was not what it is.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, this was. This may have been actually in the 80s because she was a little older than me.

Oh, okay.

So even worse.

Yeah.

Wow. And I asked, I remember asking, did they all come back?

Yeah.

And she's like, yeah, we all made it back.

Wow.

Yeah.

I don't know how to follow that except to say that I also loved that musical and I don't think I understood half the plot. I mean, I don't remember. It was too long ago, but.

And by the time I saw it, I don't think there was a white guy playing the engineer anymore. I. I don't think I saw the original cast because it was 1994. And I think because pretty soon after that. What's crazy is I saw that when they started in 1989 in London, there was a big backlash. Like, this guy is obviously not, you know, Vietnamese or any kind of Asian. And the creators were like, ah, should we change it for the Broadway start?

And then they're like, nope.

And then just went ahead.

Americans won't care.

Yeah.

Which Is probably true. Yeah.

And then a few years after that, they started, you know, prioritizing, actually hiring all Asian actors and actresses.

Okay. My. My next story is. Is. It's a bit of a love story. Oh. And it's also. It just spoke to me because it's something we've discussed. We even discussed prior to getting on the air. On the air. On the air today, which is hubris. Us deciding that we might all die from quicksand because we're so sure we won't. And this is hubris. Death, a love story.

Oh, is it an age appropriate love story at least?

Yes. Okay, good. Okay. So we meet Katya and Maurice Kraft when they were both students in college and they fell madly in love with each other because they were both obsessed with volcanoes. They married in 1970. At this time, the couple decided, we're gonna. We're gonna honeymoon in Stromboli, which is off the coast of Sicily. And it's well known for a volcano that almost continuously erupts. So they apparently were very talented photographers, and they took these amazing pictures near the eruption, and people went nuts for them. Like, they showed family, and then family's like, oh, we need to show more people. And they became. They almost got like this cult following because these pictures were so awesome.

Awesome.

So from that point, not only did their love grow, but their career grew. And they decided that they were going to follow volcano. Volcanoes and be the first to arrive on the scene of an active volcano. And they. They started to progress into taking video as well as, you know, photos.

And this is pre Instagram influencers.

This is. Yeah, they were like, basically volcano influencers before that was a thing. And they would also be film. Yeah. The volcano effects after the eruption. So this was actually used in some countries that maybe didn't have access to mainstream news as ways to convince communities to evacuate. Like, there'd be leaders that would say, no, it's not going to be that bad. Like, there's no reason to move all these people out. And they would show them their footage and say, you know, this is what happens after. So they were actually kind of doing a humanitarian effort as well. And they produced films, photographs, textbooks, books, documentaries. I mean, they really dedicated their lives to the education of what happens when a volcano erupts, what it looks like after. By capturing these images and then kind of finding this market for people.

They had a volcano empire.

They did. They grew a volcano empire. Volcano merch on June 2, 1991. Yeah, they had a lot of swag, I assume. Yeah. On June 2, 1991. Maurice was quoted as saying, I am never afraid because I've seen so many eruptions in 23 years that even if I die tomorrow, I don't care.

Oh, nope.

On June 3, one day later on 1991, the couple was killed during.

Come on, Maurice.

Jesus Christ.

Volcano eruption at Mount Unzen. Their bodies were recovered on June 5.

There were bodies left?

Well, they were found near the rental car, laying side by side. The bodies were burned beyond recognition, but were identified using personal items, including Marisa's camera and watch, which. I didn't say what brand that camera was, but.

Right.

I'm just pretending it's an icon and get it.

Yeah.

Like, through you can survive lava, which I'm assuming at this point they had a lot of specialty equipment just from heat and, you know, ash and things like that that would go. But great life they lived, you know, they did what they loved doing. I just think, yeah, Katya was probably like. As they were running you, Maurice, you had to be all yesterday, if I die tomorrow. And here we are, dying tomorrow.

Apparently, he didn't care.

He didn't care. He didn't care. So I also have an alternate theory that possibly he went to a psychic, and psychic's like, you're dying in a volcano tomorrow. And he was, like, convincing himself, and he had an interview and he's like, I don't even care if I die tomorrow.

Yeah, it feels very, very much like a, like, toxic masculinity thing. Like, I'm too tough for that.

It almost. To be honest, it almost had, like. Like a suicide pact feel to it, because they were found laying side by side by the rental car. I mean, it's a little, you know, it's a little creepy. It's a. It's a lot. But, yeah, I.

But you're right. I mean, it is a lesson for us to not, you know, invite quicksand, death, or amnesia.

Well, the good news is I don't think any of us are out here in the street, the street, saying, I don't care if I die in quicksand. I mean, we're all afraid of it. We're just sure we're not gonna encounter it. That's true.

We're not taunting it.

Yeah, I'm not taunting quicksand. I'm not taunting being on fire. Drop and roll.

No. Yeah. We could go on record and say we might die from that, because, you know, we might.

I just.

We don't want to.

We don't want to.

We don't want to. And I try not to put myself in situations with quicksand. I. Yeah, I can't.

I mean, we learned our lesson in the 80s as kids is that it's deadly.

It comes out of nowhere.

Comes out of nowhere.

And so it's best to avoid forested areas.

We thought there was quicksand in his backpack earlier.

That's what spawned this whole conversation.

Pulled out a diamet and dew sand on it, and we're like, what the.

Oh, my God. Are you okay? Are you okay? Is there a vortex in there?

What's going on?

I'm door. The Explorer. Backpack.

Backpack swiper.

No swiping.

For my second item. I want to talk about Color me bad.

Oh, yes. What a wonderful choice to end on.

We all do.

I don't know that I want to talk about them. I feel compelled to talk about them.

We need to talk about them.

There's a lot to talk about. They're a quartet originally from Oklahoma City.

Really?

Nuh.

Yeah.

Why is that so shocking?

I don't know. Because they acted like they were from the streets.

Yeah. They seemed a little like they were from a sleazier town, like Tampa, maybe. I don't know. Yes.

If you had said Tampa, that would have felt right.

That would have totally made sense.

Their initial lineup was Brian Abrams, Mark Calderon, Sam Waters, and Kevin Thornton.

I couldn't have told you a single one of those names if I tried.

I did not know before the Internet told me either.

No, no. Yeah. Not a chance.

They're probably best known for the fairly gross song I want to sex you.

Up, which we discussed before is like, if someone said that to us, that's the most repulsive thing someone could have said.

Yeah. And because thank you wouldn't be doing it in a song necessarily either. You'd just be like, hey, I want to sex you up.

Nope.

Nope.

I picture those bugs trying to say that before they get in your mouth. That's no good.

Did I. This is the grossest pickup line someone's ever said to me. And I made the mistake of telling Mike it, like, a long time ago, and he frequently references it. Somebody at a bar one time said to me, oh, wow, her hands are so small. They're gonna make my dick look so big.

What?

Mm.

I was like, we're still recording, everybody. We just don't know what to say.

Hold out your hands. Hold out your hands. Okay. That guy had a micro penis. Because her hands are not that small.

Yeah. So one. I was like, you sort of insulted me because you're making it seem Like I have mini doll hands. Like Kristen Wi. And two, you just told me your dick is small.

Yeah, exactly.

On every level. Your pickup line doesn't work. And I just said, gross.

I feel like this person has had an experience where a lady was like, this is not what I signed up for. And love. So he's probably. Maybe was just trying to level set expectations.

We have maybe, maybe. But every once in a while he.

Was looking to avoid that moment when the pants come off and you're like.

Put your hand around. It'll look bigger. So every once in a while, Mike likes to be like, oh, your hands are so.

That's the way to.

It's never. I should be clear with the audience. It's never in a sexual situation. It's always like an off putting time. Okay, good.

That's better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He means. Yeah.

I'd fear for your sex life if it was. Yeah.

I one time an older man hit on me in a bar and he said. He said you could be a model. Not like in New York, but maybe Chicago. That was his. That was his pickup line. And I was just like, okay. And just walked away. Like. I was just like, come on, dude. He seemed surprised that I didn't think that was a compliment. Like, I don't. I mean, I guess. I guess so.

You're like a regional catalog model, but.

You know, you could be in like the local Sears page, like 20. You're not front cover material.

Which one untrue.

Yeah. And two untrue that you could be a model in New York as well.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Untrue that you have that qualifier.

The model thing is definitely. Yeah, we've discussed it. Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm gonna have a school bus from Louisiana drop me off Times Square.

Just be careful. You don't want to end up the chaperone for all those kids.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah. So I want to sex you up. But then they also had other hits including I Adore Mia Moore, Kellen A on the lyrics.

Oh, yeah.

And then one all for Love. But the four is the number four.

So cool.

Yep. The four members F O U R the four members of Color Me Bad met during high school in Oklahoma City. When they decide to form a group, they name themselves Take One.

I love that they were already setting up. There was gonna be multiple takes. This is Take one.

But they changed it because they were became aware of an acapella group that was named Take six. And they did not want that to be. They did not want There to be.

It's like, there's too many numbers flying around. This is not gonna work. Work.

Also, like, Take four wouldn't have been great name either, but it would have been representative of how many people there were.

True.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I guess I'm. I feel like they. They thought, you know, they started with such a bland name that they went to something pretty dopey with calling me Bad with two D's. Two D's.

Two D's. That's what I was trying to remember. It was two A's or two D's.

To get a record deal, they decided the best approach was to accost famous musicians and hoped they'd introduce them to record executives. Oh, boy.

Oh, no.

The Internet says they did this to the following acts. Cool and the Gang, Huey Lewis and the News, Sheila E. Ronnie Millsap.

What?

And Bon Jovi.

Was there any.

They're not even in your genre, dude. What are you doing?

Was there any details about what accosting meant?

They would just go to them and start singing. Oh, no. Oh, my God. There would be like. I think it sounded like they would be like, hi, we're calling me bad. And they just launch into something that's.

Worse than hearing I want to sex you up.

Right?

Because now you're hearing I want to sex you up completely unprompted.

It is the.

It's the nightmare we thought that existed with that song.

Poor Ronnie Milsap was probably just, like, having a coffee somewhere and was just like, I want to sex you up was like, what? Yeah, who are you?

Huey Lewis and the News? Can you imagine?

And Bon Jovi.

What are you doing just standing there in those tight, tight jeans being like, sorry, I got it.

But speaking of Bon Jovi, one of them saw Jon Bon Jovi at a movie theater in New York and called the rest of the group to come and meet him.

Oh, my God.

And they waited outside the movie theater for Jon Bon Jovi to come out, then stopped him and sang for him. I would have called the police. But what Jon Bon Jovi did is he invited them to be Bon Joey's opening act the following night for a concert.

What?

That's some. That's. So he did shrooms or something before the movie.

I want to know what movie it was. I don't know, but I want to know.

Wow.

Do you think that was, like, just a. A kind thing, or was it like, just get the out of my face, or was it all of it? Like.

Well, that's a huge risk because what if they're actually. I mean, they sang a little bit for you, but what if they're terrible or weird on stage?

Like, you brought that one song. That part of that one song they heard was the only thing that was good.

Yeah.

Or the only thing they know.

Yeah.

We got one song.

Yeah.

The first take of one song.

First take of one song. We'll write the rest when we get a deal.

Yeah.

So in August of 1990, that's when they signed their record deal. The record label wanted the group to record a song similar to Do Me by Belle B. Devoe, if you remember that.

Yes. Yep. At first I got it confused with Doing it from LL Cool J.

Doing it and Doing it.

Doing it.

Well, you know what other song? Always remember Al Cool J, Mama said to knock you out. Yep, I'm gonna knock you out.

That came out this year, actually.

Oh, wait. 1991. Oh, gosh.

And you know, like, we all agree, like, Do Me is kind of rude and horny in an off putting way.

None of this is working well.

No, no, it's not a good line.

So Color Me Bad recorded I Want To Sex youx Up, which would become their debut single, came out in March of 1991 and appeared on the soundtrack to the Wesley Snipes film New Jackson City.

Oh, okay.

Yep. So the song was a big hit, but the group hadn't finished recording the rest of their album yet, so they had to hurry up and get that done, which they accomplished in just a couple of weeks. The album came out in July of 1991 and sold over 6 million copies.

I think I was one of those copies.

Yeah, I think I was as well.

They were nominated for Grammy Awards and even opened for Paula Abdul on their 1991 tour. And they kind of performed. They kind of performed during the super bowl halftime show in 1992. If you remember, that was the year that the Fox network aired live in living Color during the super bowl halftime. Even though the super bowl was on a different.

Oh, that's right.

Different network. So they were trying to get everybody to change a channel from that over to Fox so they could kind of steal viewers.

Weird move.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm a little surprised more people haven't tried it since then, but yeah, the super bowl halftime show has evolved a lot and is usually a pretty big deal now.

Yeah.

And this year, the super bowl halftime show, the theme was Winter Magic. It was a tribute to the Winter Olympics and featured Gloria Estefan, somebody we all associate with the winter constantly. Whenever you think of Gloria Estefan, you think of the winter?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Definitely not those Miami hot beats, right?

Come on, baby, to the conga in the winter Come on, baby, do the conga.

They also appeared in an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 the following year.

Oh, I remember that, I think.

In which Kelly finds out which hotel the group is staying at and manages to get into their hotel room and then convinces them to join her at the Peach Pit, where they serenade the rest of the cast.

So, Kelly, that's dangerous girl. Like, going in that. No, don't do that.

It seems like a group like that letting a teenage girl in their hotel room is kind of scary.

Not great.

Their second album came out the following year. Not a hit.

What?

At the time, grunge and hip hop were gaining popularity, and Color Me Bad's music didn't fit into either of those genres. The group put out two more albums, but those weren't successful either, and they eventually broke up in 1998. They did have a song on the Striptease soundtrack, something we talked about a few weeks ago, and that was called Sexual Capacity, which was written and co produced by Robin Thicke.

Of course it was.

So it was rapey as fuck.

So now I need to brush my teeth.

Yep.

Because I said all this out loud. I'm sorry your ears hurt it, but it needed to be put out there.

Ew.

I want to sex you up is kind of a polarizing song, having appeared on both Blender's list of the top 50 worst songs ever and VH1's list of the 100 greatest songs of the 90s. So.

Wow.

There's probably not a lot of overlap between those two, but I want to sex you up is in there. The group did reunite a few years ago and has toured with other 90s groups.

They were at your concert, right?

Yeah, yeah, they were in the I love the 90s concert. Yeah.

And I wasn't there, but it's my understanding that the lead singer, like, they were doing some dancing maybe for at one point, and he had to, like, stop on stage and take a break because he was out of breath.

Yeah, there was. Their performance was rough. It wasn't great. And collectively, the audience seemed to understand that because right before they came out, like, the amount of people that got up to go get more beer was, wow, we didn't come for this act, clearly. Like, I mean, salt and pepper. There was no one in line for beers. But didn't.

Salt of salt and peppa. Didn't she not. She left the stage at One point. Because some of their lyrics she does not jive with anymore. Right. Oh, she's kind of religious. Right.

Is that true?

I believe. I didn't know that that was the reason, but I do remember her leaving at some point. But, like, to be fair, like, they're all older and that was happening a lot. A lot. It was super hot and I felt like they were. I didn't know if it was like a water break situation or like, color me Back, like we're tired or maybe.

A pelvic floor situation. Maybe they had kissed your pants. Yeah. You pissed your pants out on that stage. Yeah.

Yeah. So I.

Which is something that audience would have understood if.

And they were like fully decked out, you know.

We applaud you for performing with a weak pelvic floor.

Yeah. And they were in outfits that were like, wow, how are you getting that off? You know what I mean? Like. Yeah. So I guess I didn't realize the reason, but that would make sense. Yeah.

To the Hot Tick Tock. And didn't. They did it every song but one of them would have. They would have the girl kind of break where they'd stop and talk for a little bit.

That was Boys to Men. I think they did it a little bit. But Boys to Men did it.

Did it for. Because I think.

I mean, that guy assume could sing, but like, that was. He did that.

Yeah.

And every voice demand song.

Girl, I've been thinking about you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know you've been seeing that other man, but I just didn't care. You should.

I had.

Which then provided fodder for every Lonely island video ever. And SNL clips. Yeah.

It's true. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Evan and I had an argument this week because I, you know, 90s. We understand this. The Brandy and Monica song the Boy Is Mine.

Yeah.

That's a classic. That belongs to Brandy and Monica. And there's an Ariana Grande version and he thinks it's better. And I said, I can't speak to you for a few hours.

That's a good call.

I listen to the Ariana Grande version, and it doesn't really sound like it to me.

It doesn't. It's not the same.

It's a whole different thing. Yeah.

But also, isn't it supposed to be a. A duet? Like, isn't it?

Yeah, I think Brandy and Monica are on it in some capacity.

Yeah, they are. I think it's sampled or something in there. If I remember. I've only listened to it once, but I was like, nonsense. You don't have enough appreciation for the original to say that in my opinion.

You don't know the history.

Yeah. You didn't see the selling out a tour now with that one song.

You didn't see the video where they were fighting Video.

You didn't feel that in your heart that they were fighting over the same guy and they were going to ruin a friendship?

It was rough. Yeah. Well, I agree with you giving the silent treatment to yourself.

I think sometimes you gotta learn a lesson about the OGs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well done, everyone. Fuzzy Memories is a broads and books production. It's hosted by Heath Smith, Aaron Johnston and Amy Lee Lillard. Sign up at our Patreon for bonuses and new stuff and be sure to follow us @fuzzymemories pod on Instagram for clips and highlights. See you next time. Everybody speak in your mics.

Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Raccoon.

What'd you say?

Baby raccoon.

Oh.

Baby raccoon.

Baby raccoon.

Maybe that should be like a code word for us for something. Oh, like we can just text each other baby raccoon. And then one of us can just say, don't do it. Like, it just means we're about to make a bad decision. So all you have to do is say baby Raccoon and we'll be like, not a good idea. I don't know what you're up to, but I need you to stop and take a beat.