Trish: [00:00:00] Good morning everyone. So today's podcast episode I am co-hosting with Kim Perry from Kim Perry Fit and we, is that right? Kim Perry Fit Co. It used to be Kim Perry Fit right? Was it, or did you have an

Kim: email or something like that? No, there's no way you've been following me that long. 'cause it used to be KPL Fit, but that was like 2014, like.

Trish: I don't know, but at some point that's what got stuck in my head and that's what I always say.

Kim: Wait, I know what it is. You know how it says like your, you, your Instagram name, right? And then underneath is like your name I have as Fit Pregnancy Coach.

Trish: Yeah. Maybe I maybe it might

Kim: be that. Compare

Trish: co then.

Kim: Okay. Yeah. It's Kim Compare. Go.

Trish: We'll go with that one since it's the right one. Okay. So we're gonna chat. We're both moms. Kim is mom of four. I'm a mom of seven and we were Are you from Florida?

Kim: No, I'm from Massachusetts. We [00:01:00] moved three and a half years ago.

Trish: Okay. I'm from Florida. Florida, but I don't live there anymore.

I live in Nashville now. But we, I I wanna talk about a few things Kim, if you don't mind. 'cause I listened to our replay that you replayed of our podcast from when you were pregnant, right before you delivered. And the beginning of it. Was so good you. It was, and I could tell it wasn't scripted. It was just real Kim.

And what was funny about it is that what you mentioned was just feeling exhausted and like you're messing things up and like, yes, I look like I've got this perfect life together on Instagram, but in real life right now I'm struggling. And one of the things you said was missing a couple podcast things, which one was with me?

Kim: Yeah. Which I'm so glad we're here doing this now because I was so looking forward to talking to you. I just love podcasting with you. I love listening to you when you're on live. I'm like, let's see what Tricia's talking about. 'cause you're just so fun. It's just, it's always just normal [00:02:00] stuff. It's good time.

It's always a good time.

Trish: Thank you. So, but what really struck out to me is I feel that way right now too. And also like having grace for each other during these seasons, don't you think?

Kim: Absolutely. Because you, okay. I'm just gonna tell you something that happened, that also happened that same week. So I, I messed up my links and recordings with you, my scheduling.

So then I had another one later that week and I was like, I am not missing this. So Jesse wasn't napping. 'cause you know, he, he's a baby. And I was like, whatever. It's fine. Like he, I'll have to like pause in the middle of this interview and go put him down. It's fine. The GI hop on the zoom, like this video, and she sees me holding a baby and she's like, oh.

And I was like, yeah, he, I'm just gonna put him down. Like when he is ready for an half, she's like, well, let's just reschedule. And I was like, okay. And she goes, is he your first? I'm like, no, he's my fourth. Like, [00:03:00] you're not cool with this. Oh my gosh. So I felt like really like judged. Yes, I did. And her kids are older and I was like, does she forget or is she just like, I don't know.

And like I, that's why I feel like you are so relatable in the aspect of like, we are just doing our best. We're like not, I don't wanna use the word unprofessional, but we're just like not super polished. Like we are just two women real trying our hardest figuring it out and sharing the journey. Right?

Yeah. And I felt in that moment I'm like, okay, this is not the journey she wants to be sharing. Yeah.

Trish: Well, what's interesting that you say that is because like we've talked about, I coach women mainly. Obviously people find me as labor nurse mama, and they're mostly in the motherhood niche, pregnancy, pelvic floor, all those type things.

But how I roll. On labor Nurse Mama. So I have two doulas that work with me. They both have babies. They, my two doulas have come from my student body, which I [00:04:00] feel is so honoring they wanna work with me. But when they lead my pregnancy hangouts, if they have a baby on the boob, if they have to stop and go lay their baby down, even though this is my business, my family is priority, and if I can't do this business with my family, I don't wanna do it.

Like I'm almost tearing up for you because I feel like that's so offensive because who cares? Like I've got my puppy on my lap, right? She might start growling, I'll pause, I'll go pick her up. She's my baby knock. 'cause all my babies are older. But. I do podcasts all the time with birth stories, and my students have their babies on their laps.

Like, that's real life you guys. And if a mom listening to us is like, wow, like I'm inspired. Like she, she did like, reached her goals and, and these dreams with a baby. Like I grew labor nurse mama with Grayson under my desk playing with his toys, you know, and if I couldn't have done that, I couldn't have done it.

Kim: Right. And I think that's what, it's our business. [00:05:00] Yeah. It makes it so discouraging. Even just like simple things like some moms are afraid to go to the store because their kids are gonna be loud and they know like their two year old's gonna cry when they can't get a toy. And that keeps them from going out in public and doing things and like living a full life because they're worried about being judged

Trish: and like, and shame on the people.

Shame on the people because we should come alongside. That is something I'm so passionate about. Mm-hmm. I moved to Chattanooga from Florida. I was very young mom. I had all my older boys, but like all four boys by the time I was 25, just so you know. Yeah. And here I am moving from Florida. I'm wearing Doc Martin's little half shirt, got tattoos.

I moved to Chattanooga, which is like the belt buckle of the Bible belt. Okay. I am a believer, so don't, I'm a believer, but I like, I just walked to my own beat and. So I get there and this group of homeschooling moms who made their own clothes, [00:06:00] baked their own bread, which if anyone knows me, I like to do some stuff, but like my kids are like, will you make breakfast?

I'm not that kind of mom. Like, I'll pour you some cereal. That's how I am for breakfast, right? So, but these ladies like bake their own bread, kombucha, all that stuff, right? They took me under their wing and they showed me how to be a mom with grace. And they were so loving to me and that changed a lot of my direction as a very young mom.

And so that's what I've tried to create inside my community is a safe zone. Like no one is gonna mom shame you. In fact, when they join my community, they have to agree to that. Like, no mom shaming here. I don't care if you vaccinated your kids or you didn't. I don't care if you were induced or not, but you're not gonna mom shame one of my moms.

Like, this is safe. And. I feel like, I mean, you know, again, everybody's different, you know, but stop making moms feel bad. That's what I wanna say.

Kim: The other thing I'm thinking of, like, I don't think she was trying to make [00:07:00] me feel bad. I just think she is in a very different place in her life where she just forgot, like, or just sees that, or saw like the baby and was like, oh, it must not be a good time.

Because Yeah. You know, she, and you're right, has alone time and I'm like, I don't have alone time like this right now. He is napping. It worked out. Yeah. So, yay. But yeah, I'm like a lot of people, like it depends on the day for me too, because like a different day I might have not been like upset about that.

But on that day when I was already having a rough week, I already screwed up an interview. I already, like my schedule was off. Like I'm just dropping all the balls and it just takes something that small to make me feel like a failure. Right. And like she wasn't even like intentionally

Trish: and, and we, and you're right, we don't know.

And like maybe she had a podcast episode where a baby was screaming the whole time and she has drama from that or something. Who knows? That's again, just communicating and you know what have you. But just so everybody [00:08:00] knows, if you're ever on mind, you can bring your baby. It's okay. I don't mind. Like that's how we roll.

We're all about babies, boobs, bottoms, bellies, all those things. Okay, so here's what I wanna ask. This, this we have to talk about. This is so important because you mentioned that you didn't know why you're still watching. Love Is Blind and this last season was, eh, and I felt the same way. Like there it was just, eh, but they're from Minnesota, right?

Which is where you're from. Oh, Massachusetts. Good lord. Yeah. Good listener right here. Okay. I have, I worked a travel assignment there. It was actually kind of fun, but it was kind of boring. And I asked myself every dang episode. Why am I watching this?

Kim: I think it's 'cause we all got hooked in 2020, like, you know, the Covid days and it's one.

Mm-hmm. It became like one of those comfort shows that like brought us excitement in a time where our lives were just like,

Trish: can I be honest? I did not watch it then because 2020 was the best year of my life. That's when [00:09:00] I got divorced, met my hus. Well, we remet, we rekindled, we got married 20 days later.

Best decision of my entire life.

Kim: Wait, you got divorced and remarried to the same man?

Trish: No, no, no, no, no. I would not be sitting here. Yeah. But I would not be sitting here. Had that been, I would, I'd been a loony one at this point. But no, I, we were supposed to be divorced in 2019, but Covid happened and shut down the court systems.

Everything went oodle. But we got divorced. We were married 25 years. That's a whole nother podcast episode, like narcissistic. Episode, but we got divorced and I friend requested the very first and only man I've ever friend requested on social media and married him. We got, we knew each other when we were kids.

Let me just say that he moved to North Carolina during COVID. He was flipping houses. He built homes and we started talking on Facebook and like just connected. And he asked me out on a date. I almost died. [00:10:00] 'cause like I've been married, I've been, I was with Mike for 27 years. So I said I can't until my divorce is final.

I mean, it was final in my heart, but I was waiting for the court to sign it. So the week that the court signed it, we met in Gatlinburg and had coffee and got married 20 days later.

Kim: Oh my goodness.

Trish: So 2020, I was doing my own. Love is blind. That was my own Love is Mind.

Kim: I really did like 2022, also because that's when I was pregnant with Blake.

Like there was a lot of good in there. Yeah. That's when I started watching the show.

Trish: Okay. Well I was doing my own Love is Blind Experiment at the time.

Kim: Okay. Right, exactly. Because you were just Yeah.

Trish: Or married at First Sight maybe. I was doing Married at First Sight, but I did not watch reality shows until the last few years.

Okay. I used to hardly ever watch tv. Are you hooked on reality shows? Like, oh my God, it's pathetic bad. Yeah.

Kim: It's just so much more interesting and I think that's why we love like social media and following [00:11:00] people is because we wanna see like. What's in your closet? Like, show us what's in your fridge.

Like what are you, how are you making your coffee? Coffee, are you to

Trish: the grocery store? Right?

Kim: Like, oh, what, wait, what do you buy? Like, what kind of snacks are in your pantry? Like, that's what we really wanna know. And I think that's what, why reality TV is so much more interesting than anything scripted.

Like, I can't remember the last movie I watched because

Trish: do you know what I, I wanna watch so bad because I listened to, oh my gosh, I'm, I'm having a brain malfunction right now. I can't think of her name right now. It's on my audible. But she was on a reality show in England. And I can, it's, it's made in Chelsea, I think is what the name of the show is, but I cannot find it anywhere to watch it.

I want to, so bad, I'm obsessed with wanting to watch. I love. British people, like they have the best sense of humor in the world and I like their accent, but so yes. So I was like, I am not the only weirdo who watches reality shows. And I love it that you watch 'em too and it's very [00:12:00] addicting.

Kim: But do you also watch or see on Instagram or TikTok the common the actors?

Yes. You have to be like, that's honestly why I watch it is so that when I see it on my feed, I know what they're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I started a new show called Severance.

Trish: I heard you talking about that too. I need to tell, I, I heard you on the podcast talking about it, and it's very interesting.

And I thought, man, how good could my business be if I could let the crap stay outside the door sometimes and not bring it into my work?

Kim: Like the, like just watching TV in general,

Trish: no severance. How they go to work. They forget their home life. They come home, they forget their work life.

Kim: But the thing for you is that you wouldn't have a business if you weren't able to remember your home life.

Your home life is such a big part of mm-hmm. Work. And for me too. So I, I thought of, I thought that too. I'm like, oh, well if you have to do like a very, so basically severance is like you walk into work and you forget who you are outside of the, [00:13:00] your work. Like you don't have any memory. If you're married, work nurse,

Trish: mama, then

Kim: I couldn't do it.

Right? No. So these people like are brain, not brainwashed, but like. Their memory is drained when they step into work and then when they go home, they have no idea what they did all day at work.

Trish: They just, well, maybe we could have an anxiety draining elevator that just takes away any anxiety or stress outta work.

Okay. So speaking of all that, we should probably get into our topics.

Kim: Okay. Okay.

Trish: Now that you guys have got to listen to our ramble it. And just so you know, you can always listen to the podcast at two x if you need to. So

Kim: we, I think my mom does that with everything and it stresses me out. I'm like, you do?

No, it used to me,

Trish: it used to stress me out, but I love to listen to Audibles and I wanna listen to a lot of them. And so what's really funny, I was listening to you at two X this morning and what's really interesting about that is when you talk to the person in real life or like there's a, a lady on Instagram, I ended up going, she had an event.

I went [00:14:00] to it. And when I went to her event, I swear it sounded like she was going. And today we are, because I listen to her at two X all the time. That one X sounds really weird. Like slow. Do

Kim: I

Trish: sound slow now? You sounded slow when we first started talking because I was listening to you in my headphones at two x.

So when I first started listening to them faster, I was like, well, that's kind of brilliant. I could read more books or listen to more books. And on a, like, on a vacation or whatever. So I started doing it at like one, 2.25, then I went to 1.5, then 1.7, but now I can do two.

Kim: Wow. See, I feel like my brain is always racing so fast when I listen, when I wanna like consume something, it has to be slow and,

Trish: but you have to train your brain.

Brain it, because that, I couldn't do it before either. I thought Steve would put, his book would pop on in the card. It would be at like 1.7 and I would be like, oh my God, this is overwhelming me. Stop. Like, [00:15:00] stop it. But now I'm used to it. So anyway. So

Kim: wait, in case anyone doesn't know what we're talking about, you can like speed up the sound.

Like our voice is podcast and we'll be talking really fast and you'll be able to listen to so much more in less time and blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Trish: Yeah. A 20 minute podcast is now 10 minutes. There

Kim: you go.

Trish: I mean, and listen to a bunch of 'em.

Kim: Yeah. But if you, if you need more time to absorb and process, then just listen at regular speed.

Trish: I talk pretty fast anyway, so I probably would not listen to me at 2.0. But yeah. But I'll tell you who you can listen to perfectly at 2.0. Is Mel Robbins, 'cause she talks really slow. Mm-hmm. 2.0 sounds like normal. So have you read her new

Kim: book?

Trish: Which one? Let them or High five let them? I can't, I don't know, which is Oh yes.

I love it. I love it. I need to

Kim: get that. I've,

Trish: it's so good. We talked a lot about that at my client retreat. 'cause I, a lot of my, my clients are in the motherhood niche and especially the lactation ones. They [00:16:00] get a lot of flack online. And so we talked a lot about that. Like the whole Let Them theory, if you guys are listening, is like, let someone else have their opinions.

Let someone else say what they wanna say. That does not define you. But the thing I like about her is she says, then let me, so let them do what they wanna do. But really what's most important is what you do. So the second part is, let me, and it's like the choices you make, the grace you show the mercy, all the different ways that you treat other people as well.

Like, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and worry about you.

Kim: Let's bring this back to the lady judging you in target and you just let her, just let her judge you because it really doesn't do anything to you physically. You, you have to just let them not emotionally. Mm-hmm.

Trish: And she's carrying her own baggage because, because someone probably made her feel really bad and that's what trained her to treat you, to make you feel really bad and, you know, like, just let her, [00:17:00] it's okay.

Kim: All right. We can't, it's a really good, we trying to like move on to the topics and we just,

Trish: yes. So the topic that we actually wanted to talk about was preparing for birth, mentally, physically. You know, I do a lot of mindfulness and mindset, work. Birth is one or lost in your brain period. I, I, 90% of, of your labor is a mental game.

You do have to prep your body for sure, but if your mind is not on board and you start freaking out and you get off track, like your body is created, like God designed our body, if you're anxious and fearful to go into the fight or flight mode, which completely works against oxytocin, which is our superpower during labor.

So I, I always talk about you can know all the positions, the stages. You can know all the things, but if your mindset is outta whack. You're gonna have a really hard time during delivery. So that's why you have to be prepared. And I love like that you bring in the [00:18:00] physical aspect of that because being prepared physically.

And I love, I was re-listening and remembering like some of the things we talked about. I love that you make these physical things for pregnancy and postpartum easy and short. And you said something in the podcast, I listened today. You're like, people, there are women who like to work out and there are women who don't.

I'm in the don't, you're, I don't like to work out. You're okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't like it. For me, honestly,

Kim: depends on the day. Like I, people think like, oh, you're so motivated and like, you're so just naturally. And I'm like, yeah, but now, not all the time. I'm disciplined. That makes you feel better. I'm disciplined, which means like I show up even when I don't want to.

Trish: Mm-hmm.

Kim: But, and it, it, some days I'm like excited and then most days I'm like, I'm so tired, I don't wanna do that. Yeah. But I do it and then I feel better and I'm like, look, it was only like 15 minutes. I'm done. I feel good. And we're moving on with our day.

Trish: Well, and it's about being smart with those 15 minutes, I would imagine.

It's [00:19:00] not like just like you wanna be intentional. Yeah. With them for sure. So I love that. So I am so, so your baby is going to be just one. I swear it feels like it's been longer than that.

Kim: It's been a really like full year, I feel like. Yeah,

Trish: it's been long and I don't, I try not to get on social media very often, so like I'm not scrolling a lot.

Which, which I was gonna tell you that I just recently found out about all the TikTok stuff that goes on about Love is Blind. I thought that was new for this season. I didn't know that's always been happening. I had no idea. And now I was, I had a client retreat. Last, in February and I had to teach the next day and I discovered the whole Blake Lively and other Justin Baldoni baldoni or whatever on TikTok.

And I was up till like 2:00 AM I'm like, this is why I can't use social media. I will [00:20:00] get sucked in. I get sucked in. Dang.

Kim: And binge worthy. Yeah. Yeah. What are these client retreats we need? I need to come like, that's, oh,

Trish: well, you, you have to join my mastermind. My mastermind is for women who are growing businesses online.

It's all about balancing family and your business and scaling your business and getting all your ducks in a row and having funnels and systems, but also very heavy on mindset. I'm very, very heavy on mindset. That is my, that's how I roll. But I'll give you information. I'd love to have you. It's really fun.

Yeah. And then we have a in-person retreat once a year, and we had ours in February and they were off their rockers. Like we had so much fun. We went downtown, we went to Broadway in Nashville. I was in the Uber that went home earlier, the other half of my doulas and birth workers, they were at, like, they, they did bull riding.

They did all the things. But speaking of, I had, so one of my clients is the labor mama, Lo Mansfield, and she brought her baby [00:21:00] to my retreat. And I have never been, I've never had a mentor, a coach who would've let someone bring their baby. But I'm like, I am labor nurse mama. Like that's my whole thing. And if you're still breastfeeding or you have a baby that needs to be with you, bring them.

Now a toddler would be a little different. That would be hard. But we just, she played on the floor and lo went, took her to her room when she needed to. And it was, that's just how I roll. So.

Kim: So let's talk about, I was thinking, I'm like, sorry, one more thing. I have, I had a vision the other like probably a month or so ago, and I was like, why isn't there an Airbnb, you know, Airbnbs are like coming along.

You can have like a themed one. There's ones for bachelor parties, all these things. Like there needs to be one for like moms that wanna get together and you can bring your babies. And I pictured like a, a whole row of nursing ch nursing gliders. Nice. And then like every room has a pack and play or crib, balls, changing table, all the high chairs like lined up in the kitchen.

I'm like, imagine you and your friends could all [00:22:00] bring your babies and go away on a little. Yeah. And just like be mom and.

Trish: My friends, I'm older, so none of my friends we have, like, I have one grandson come on. But, yeah, that I, that would've been amazing that, you know, like when I couldn't travel without my babies, but now my youngest is 10, so I don't need all that. But, so we're gonna talk about our topic, even though this is really, really fun. So I, I love that you took my classes with Jessie because I feel like a lot of my clients, a lot of my mamas come to me not with their first babies, and they just want a different experience.

And I know with your girls you had epidurals that failed you. And I remember, like you said, you were really surprised about that. And that's something I teach, like epidurals are not guaranteed.

Kim: You need think and then, and then like, okay, got it. But then what do you do? Right? Like Exactly. Yeah.

Trish: And that's [00:23:00] why I tell my students have an A and b plan.

Like if your plan is unmedicated, you still need to know all the medicated options because if for some reason you choose to go down that route, you need to know what you're choosing and what they're gonna do, what the process will be like. Because I found as a labor and delivery nurse at bedside for 16 years, that the biggest thing that caused these moms angst was just not understanding what was happening, not understanding the process.

And then they would look at me from the bed and go, what would you do, Trish? Well, what I would do is not necessarily what Kim would do. So that I think, you know, is why you have to be educated. So I love that you took the class with, with Jesse and. It's called the labor bat signal. I know you were like the bat cave, the bat thing on your Yeah.

Yeah. It's the labor bat signal. And that is an add-on that people can add onto their birth classes. They have to take my classes to use it so it's something no one else does, but I love [00:24:00] it. And funny enough, when I first started Labor Nurse Mama and my, my courses for the first year or so, I did it for free on my cell phone and my husband was finally like, you gotta stop giving your.

Your number to your students. Right. So we started, it's called the labor Bat Signal. It's an add-on, and it's from 36 weeks pregnant to eight weeks postpartum, which is when most moms really start getting overwhelmed with decisions and what the doctors are saying. And,

Kim: or maybe you're like, am I having Braxton Hicks, right?

Yes. Is this a contraction? Is this my mucus plug? Like what's happen? Oh, we get so many body pictures. There's so much happening in those eight, what is it, eight, 12 weeks? No, 12 weeks because the end of pregnancy and those first weeks postpartum are just,

Trish: and it's a direct messaging through tele, we do it through Telegram now.

We used to do it through Circle. We like Telegram better for that. So it's with me and a doula, or just me, or me and my postpartum doula. And it's a direct [00:25:00] messaging. They can start it. We started at 36 weeks. It goes to eight weeks postpartum. Obviously, it's not like guaranteed immediate response because it's only $99 to add onto your birth class, so it's less than $8 a week, but it gives them a place where, I mean, in postpartum.

I feel like it's so powerful for these moms and we can, like, I have a postpartum doula, so she gives them really good tips. But it's a safe space where they can just like vent and ask questions. And you're right, like if they go to the doctor's office and they're 38 weeks and their doctor springs a new thing on them, they can ask us like, Hey, what is, what is your thought on this?

Obviously ultimately they have to make the decisions, but they love it. Like they love it so much and you loved it. So

Kim: you were able to say that. Yeah, it was really nice because, and like for, I don't know what it is about, like being pregnant and you feel like you don't wanna, like bother your doctor or make a big deal to your midwife.

Like, I think I'm in [00:26:00] labor. Like it's nice to like have somebody. Alice, I can't explain it. Like when I had a doula, it was her. Or like I would text like my mom or like a friend and be like, well, this is what's going on. And then, yeah.

Trish: Well that's why I started Labor Bad signal, because my friends would text me too.

Yeah.

Kim: So I'm, I don't know if I'm having contractions, but I was up all night and then they're like, oh, well it could have just been, you're not sleeping great for

Trish: dermal or dehydration or what have you. Yeah, I like that too. And I'll tell you, funny enough, the majority of my students who use the labor bot signal go to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters.

Is that not crazy? Because we keep them home and keep them because birth is mental. And I'm gonna tell you guys that over and over again. So when you're at home, that is your safe spot. So let's say you're at work and you start feeling bad, or you're having stress, get in a fight with someone at work. You wanna go home, you wanna go to your safe zone.

And so. [00:27:00] Being at home decreases your anxiety and increases your comfort, which increases your oxytocin. When oxytocin is flowing, our body has natural endorphins, which are like IV painkillers that are natural. So at home you're able to handle a higher pain threshold. And so if we can keep you at home and not rushing to the hospital, 'cause as soon as you get to the hospital, you start stressing out a little.

'cause it's different, like it's a different experience, especially first time moms.

Kim: And also it just feels like it's go time game on everything gets so serious. Have you ever felt not serious in a hospital? Like,

Trish: well, I don't feel serious, but Yes. It's sterilized. And all the noises and you feel like.

And, and especially if you've never been a patient before, which a lot of first time moms have never been a patient before. It's a little disconcerting. So the longer we can keep them at home, the better. And so what we have found is that [00:28:00] especially if we're up, like if it's two in the morning, now, Allison might be up 'cause she's breastfeeding, but if we are up and we can chat them through it, we can usually keep them home longer.

And as long as they're staying calm, like they don't freak out and my, they aren't getting to the hospital, like pulling their hair out, freaking out. They're getting there thinking, I hope I don't get sit home. And then they're like seven, eight centimeters, you know? So if they want an epidural, they can, if they wanna go on medicated, they, it, they're, they're, it's a, it's just a good sweet spot for them.

Kim: Yeah. So they're progressing at home more comfortably. Mm-hmm. And not even knowing because Yeah. Yeah. If they were to go to the hospital right away. They might get sent home, number one. Number two, it's just gonna be longer and more. You're

Trish: strapped to monitors. You've got the iv, you've got all these things going on.

And if you're going against the norm, which most of my students do now, they've gotta like fight that system in a, in a, even if it's not a bad fight or a battle, they'll, they're [00:29:00] their nervous system feels like, oh my gosh, now I have to tell them I don't want an iv. I don't. And, and they don't know how the nurse is gonna react.

So the most powerful things you can do for your birth is prepare, mentally, prepare your body and stay at home longer. Stay at home as long as possible. Now obviously, if you're being induced, which I was induced with some of mine, and I did have unmedicated births with them, if you're being induced, it's a different preparation mentally.

But yeah. So, but yeah,

Kim: I was the whole nurse thing. That's the thing about the hospital is like you don't know the room full of people that is gonna be there. Like these could be complete strangers. I was explaining that to my sister because I was talking about doulas. 'cause that's one of the things we talked about this month.

And she's like, why would you even like get a doula? And I was like, oh my gosh, there's so many reasons. But also think about like, you go to the hospital, you're in labor, you don't know the nurses that are on staff. Like what if it's the middle of the night? You might, and I never met any of the nurses when I delivered in hospitals like bef until I got there.

Oh,

Trish: okay, okay. Like the labor nurses [00:30:00] I met like my

Kim: ob. Yeah, like and you met the doctor, but you don't know which doctor's gonna show up and you just have to like cross your fingers. So having a doula is great. 'cause you know, consistency. It's some, yeah, it's the consistency. Somebody knows you, you know them.

You guys have a plan together, they are on your team. Doulas are great. And then midwives, like if you go that route, which is what I did with my fourth. I loved that and it's kind of similar 'cause, you know, there, there was a team of midwives, so,

Trish: and the midwives will be at bedside a lot more than your ob.

So if you think, oh, well I know my OB tip. If you go in spontaneous labor, you might not see your OB until the minute the baby's coming out. And that's shocking to most patients. They think they're like, where is my doctor?

Kim: Yeah. In my experience, the doctor's not there to help you labor. They are just like, get this baby out, so let me know when it's time.

Trish: Yeah. The nurses, who's gonna be with you and I, I, I can't even tell you hundreds of times that I'm pushing with my, I'm like, okay, we're [00:31:00] gonna start pushing and we start pushing and they're like, where's the doctor? The doctor does, like, if I call the doctor in before it's baby go time, they're gonna be mad at me and I'm gonna hear a lot of shit at the nurses station.

They want to come when that baby is crowning. Like they don't wanna sit there for two hours. Pushing little

Kim: crazy like that is just not like common knowledge unless you've had a baby before or, or in the health, the medical field. It's

Trish: shocking. It's shocking to a lot of students. Like they can't believe it.

Like, where is my doctor? Oh, I'll call him. Is he at the hospital yet? Not yet, but I promise I know when to call him. It's

Kim: just so crazy. Yeah.

Trish: And I remember at the beginning of my career getting in like so much poop from these doctors because I would, I would be like, ah, I'm calling them and it would be too early.

They don't wanna come early, they don't wanna be there, they don't wanna sit at the hospital.

Kim: Think about that, just like for a second.

Trish: Shouldn't doctors like want to be there? I don't know. Well, yeah. But, but here's the thing. They are trained as surgeons.

They are trained [00:32:00] for the interventions. They are trained to intervene. They are not trained for the natural process of birth. They are not gonna come in and help you get into like, put like different moving positions. They're not gonna come in and encourage you to like, you know, do all these things.

They're there to deliver your baby. Your labor nurse is the one who's gonna labor with you and not even as much as you probably think she will be, but that's why I am a huge. I like, I love doulas, because they are there for the comfort and the physical and all of that. And your labor nurse might have two patients, so she's gonna be going back and forth.

So that's why it's just really important. And that's why if people get my classes, I want their partner, their whoever's gonna be in the room with them needs to do my classes too. 'cause they, during labor, mom's only job is to labor. Like you shouldn't have to fight for your rights or advocate or anything.

That's when your birth coach steps in. So they need to know what you know, because that is the worst when mom is saying, I don't [00:33:00] want this and I don't, don't want that. And then the doctor comes in and they're like, well, we, you know, we don't want a dead baby, or we don't want an emergency. And they make it seem like that's what's gonna happen when that is not the case.

And then dad, who is not educated at all, thinks mom's just being a rebel. She doesn't, he doesn't understand. Well, he's not like they start saying emergency or dead baby or something. Of course that's not what we want. But if you know that's not really the case, you can say, well is that, you know, like, is that really the situation here?

Are you just saying what if? You know? And they do say that.

Kim: So loss of education, I feel like that's a huge thing is education, understanding.

Trish: Mm-hmm.

Kim: What's going on down there.

Trish: Yeah. What's going on in your body and how to work with it. And that's where knowing the stages of labor, the education, and then knowing how to move your body.

And you know, we teach our students, like, we call it purposeful positioning because you can actually help your pelvis open.

Kim: Oh my [00:34:00] gosh. Do you know what position I did what with Jesse? Which I don't think I, we should do a whole nother episode about like his birth. With your birth.

Trish: Let's do it. You

Kim: know, but I labored so fast.

I do know that. And nobody got to my house in time. So it was just me. There. It's, I there Justin and my mom, which I had said before. That was one of my fears. Is that, yeah, because that's what happened with my, but was it as bad as you thought? It wasn't bad. I just wanted somebody there because in my third, and if you, if you don't know this, my third birth, it was 2020, so there, there was nobody there in the hospital.

And it was just me and Justin. I like, I felt her, the masks on coming out, she fell outta me and there was only a student nurse in the room. So

Trish: that, that student nurse about died?

Kim: Yeah. Well she had, she had a given birth before and she had been to like a couple births, but like she was alone here in this home.

Yeah.

Trish: But still even as labor nurse. The emergency court nurse. Yeah. She pulled

Kim: the emergency court. She's [00:35:00] like, yeah, freaking out. But for my fourth, I was like, that was the what I wanted. I was like, I want someone there. So I don't have to do all the work like mentally, like you're saying, like mom shouldn't have to do all of that while they're laboring, right?

Yeah. So I'm like coaching myself. I'm trying to breathe, I'm doing meditation. I'm like, yeah. And Justin, we had a bath, a tub thing, so he's like worried about the water and like I was, and you're giving birth. He's giving me a bull. Like it was just chaos.

Trish: Throwing up is the best pushing. That's why you went so fast.

That is exactly the muscles you use to push your baby out.

Kim: Listen, I drank the castor oil.

Trish: That's

Kim: why, that's why I threw up and it, I don't even

Trish: wait. Did you do the midwives brew or did you just drink it straight up?

Kim: I, Dr. I had, I didn't. Okay, hold on. I already

Trish: know I'm gagging myself because I drink it. I drink it straight up.

Take, and I still, I still, you're gonna appreciate this. I still cannot pour oil into the water for pasta [00:36:00] without gagging because it reminds me of my puke from cast oil 'cause it's so oily. Listen, this is what

Kim: happened. I did the midwives brew like days before and nothing. I just was up all night. Pooping know where

Trish: this is going.

Kim: So, so then like it, I was on, I was two weeks, I was 42 weeks, two weeks past my due date. Mm-hmm. And they, my midwife was like, you need to go into labor or in the morning we're ha you have to go to the hospital. Like, we can't deliver in the state of Florida. That's a rule. Like midwives are not allowed to like, deliver home births.

Yeah. After 42 weeks, whatever.

Trish: Mm-hmm.

Kim: So I was like, whatever it takes. And my neighbor happens to be midwife who's delivered over 700 babies, which is amazing. And she wasn't licensing Florida, but she's like, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna make eggs with the castor oil because the eggs, the protein will keep it down.

Yeah. It bins with

Trish: it. No it doesn't. You guys listen. It doesn't, I tried that too.

Kim: It was pictures, scrambled eggs in like a bowl oil, baby oil and baby oil. And then [00:37:00] like, eating slash dr. Drinking.

Trish: I'm gagging too. I'm getting, I'm so sorry. Sick to my, sorry. I'm so sorry. This is not what

Kim: I was trying to tell you, but one of the positions, this is so during labor, so I was laboring.

I had no idea how dilated, nobody checked me. I didn't get checked one time. My dilation. Yeah. Because I was alone and I don't have any interest in checking myself, obviously. Which

Trish: side note you can actually, I say this every time we talk about this, I sound like break, Andro record, but here's a fun fact.

Straight from labor Nurse Mama, you can deliver your baby whether someone checks your cervix or not. It, it can happen. You don't need 'em. No. You don't need a cervical check. Yeah.

Kim: Okay. So I didn't have one, but I, I could just, I could tell like I needed to get into a different position and I did the knees in, feet out.

Mm-hmm. Wait, knees in, feet out. Yeah. It was like a, there was an acronym for it. Like it is not Keo. Yeah. But it was [00:38:00] like something like that. That opens up your pelvis. And I literally felt him like lower, like he just like dropped down and he almost,

Trish: I, I've got my pelvis here. This is why you went

Kim: more room baby.

Come into the penthouse. Yeah. Never done that with another birth. And that, like, I just wished I had a midwife there to, to, to recommend that. But like, luckily, I'm glad you didn't get your, luckily

Trish: what I thought your neighbor came over for some reason

Kim: after he was already out and my midwife still wasn't there, so we called my neighbor to come back.

Trish: Yeah, I remember Umbilical cord

Kim: was like still attached and we were, my, there was a crazy car accident that night that nobody could get to my road and the detour. It was insane. So since she was like literally in our community

Trish: Yeah, I remember

Kim: that she was able to get over and just like make sure everybody was okay and

Trish: yeah.

I bet she was so excited though. 'cause she hadn't been at a birth in a while. Oh yeah, I know. Oh, [00:39:00] she loves it. Loves it.

Kim: Now she's actually back in Michigan and she opened up her own birthing center there. Oh, that's exciting. I know. But I'm like, oh, that we have like such a special bond now. Yeah. But my point was if I hadn't done like all of the reading and like, like looked at all the different positions and done all the reading in my birth classes.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like you don't,

Trish: yeah.

Kim: And no one ever thinks they're gonna be in that position. No one ever thinks like, well, what if I have to do this by myself? And I've had other moms say to me like, 'cause I had a home birth. It was so controversial, apparently. Yeah. Which is weird. And I'm like, like people have like plan a hospital birth maybe.

Yeah. They plan a hospital birth, but they don't even make it to the hospital because they have to birth the baby in the car or at their house. Like it, I feel like this is stuff women should know, whether you're planning to birth at a hospital Yeah. A birthing center or your home. Like you need to know how to birth the baby if you are a pregnant woman.

Like, it's just

Trish: because, because if [00:40:00] you're pregnant, you're gonna birth the baby at some point. Like it's, it's inevitable. Yeah. I, I've had several students that have accidentally delivered in the car or at home and I always tell my students like, if that happens, it's going to be a fast berth and it's usually uneventful.

I. If the baby comes out that quick. So one of my students, my very first car birth for my students, her husband went and traded the car the next day. Oh my gosh. I think it got messy. And he was like very traumatized by the whole situation, but she was like, you're right. It was really easy and fast.

Kim: Yeah.

That's crazy about the car.

Trish: Yeah. Yeah.

Kim: But yeah, I feel like it's not, I don't wanna say survival skill, but it's just like a life skill that you need to have and like, yeah, you can have a baby without knowing what you're doing and putting a lot of trust in the people around you, but I feel like there's a different sense of like confidence you have going into [00:41:00] it and then during it.

Mm-hmm. If you do spend the time to just have a better understanding of what's going on.

Trish: No, it, it absolutely. I, I compare this like, and I, I'm in the middle of my fearless birth experience week where I teach free workshops and I started out the week telling them I am a very type A planner. When I travel, I have a spreadsheet, like I, me and Grayson, we have packing lists.

Like I, so, because I am also a compulsive over packer, so I have to write out and then stick to it, like I have to stick to it otherwise. 'cause we go to Europe three, three weeks a year. This year we're not, and I'm so bummed. I think we're gonna travel in our camp, like our RV around. But anyhow, two years ago I had a big launch and we were leaving for Italy and I did not do all my things.

I didn't have it all planned out. Usually I use this app, I think it's called. Wanderlust, maybe. I don't remember. But I use this app. I have it all planned out. I know I have it [00:42:00] documented where like, if we're landing here, here's how you get to where the train is to go into the city. This is what's going on around you.

And then like there's a McDonald's on the court. Like I have it so down pat because I don't like getting overwhelmed and not knowing what to do and like I just like to have it done. And my husband doesn't do any of that. That's my thing. I love it. I actually love it. And I have it like, okay, when we come outta the train station, go to the far right corner, you're gonna see this and that's where you get your taxi.

And here's how to get to the Airbnb. I have it all written down well, Italy, okay, we're going to Italy, which is like a dream. Okay? It was me and Laney and Grayson, my husband, my son Gavin, his friend Tyrus. We were all going and I bought the plan for my phone because. We had not yet been to a country where we didn't like, where English wasn't predominant, you know?

And so I had bought, I had added service onto my phone, [00:43:00] had Google Translate, all of that. We get there. Well, I had not planned out all the things, but I was like, you know what? I, I don't have time. I'll just use my phone. My phone wouldn't work. So we get to the airport, have no idea what we're doing, where we're going.

My phone's not working. Nobody spoke English. That is what it's like if you don't prepare for your birth, if you don't understand what is happening inside of your body, what could be the most incredible experience becomes stressful, and you leave with a ton of what ifs. And those what ifs are, what causes a lot of birth trauma is like, what if I hadn't let them induce me?

What if I hadn't said yes to the episiotomy? What if I, what if I had known that I could have fired my nurse? Like, what if I didn't have that Boch in my room this whole time? What if I knew that I could tell my doctor, you're fired and they have to provide me with a new one. All those what ifs can leave you.

Like you. My very first birth was amazing. For a first birth, [00:44:00] I was young and I was obedient. I took the class my doctor told me to take, which was a hospital Lamaze class, which taught the policies and procedures. Everything he told me I had to do, they reinforced. And so when I went into labor, I went right in.

I had every intervention known to man because I wasn't going fast enough and I didn't know that I could say no. I had, he cut me from one end to the other because it was my first baby and I, and I wasn't pushing fast enough, so, which was a long time ago. Hopefully they're not doing that anymore. But the point is I didn't know if I had known.

And so what was a really amazing experience in Italy was really stressful and overwhelming, and what was a really amazing experience with Ian. Was also very stressful and overwhelming, and I left that birth feeling like it happened to me. And so that's why I created my courses because I would sit in my car crying because I watched these women who ended [00:45:00] up having a C-section or all these interventions when I damn well knew it was out of convenience for someone else.

It was not ne necessary, but I can't go against the doctor. I have to go by the doctor's orders unless you refuse and you speak up that, I educate the stink out of them. But that's not, when you're in labor, you're not absorbing education. It's too late at that point. But I, but here's the other thing.

They just met me and they've just met him. I mean, they, they've been working with him or her, and if I am. Even hinting against what this person who they've spent their, their whole pregnancy with and they know is a doctor, they're not gonna listen to me. You know what I mean? Like most of the time, yeah,

Kim: it's hard for them to make a

Trish: decision and I'm not gonna be like, your doctor is lying to you.

This is not what you need to do. They wanna go to their son's soccer game, like, I'm not gonna say that. So, you know what [00:46:00] I mean? Or, and, and a lot of times it's not that they're lying, it's that this is how they do it, but just because that's how they do their job, like we all do our job a certain way, just because they do their job that way does not mean it's necessarily best for you.

And again, doctors are trained in the, which I have some ob friends, they're amazing, they're more like midwives. And I know some midwives who are more like doctors. We call them midwives. So I'm not saying this is across the board, but you're taking a chance if you're not educated. You're taking a chance if you aren't willing to speak up, because the education can only get you so far.

You have to be confident to speak up, which is why I do my weekly hangouts with my students because they can ask me questions and they might see, like, Kim is 38 weeks pregnant and you know, Rachel is 12 weeks pregnant. And Kim is like, man, I just went to the doctor. They said, my baby's big, they wanna induce me.

I asked for some proof. We talked through it and we decided that's not the best course for me. Well, that gives Rachel A. Little confidence when that happens to her. You know, so,

Kim: so funny. I'm definitely like type [00:47:00] B, I'm the type B mom. But that is how I got so much of my education about birth. Like what little I did get my first pregnancy was YouTube.

I watched YouTube YouTubers that were pregnant at the time, which was, this is back in 20 15, 20 16. Yeah. And there wasn't like a community yet, like Instagram. Yeah. Like I did follow some like fitness accounts, but not a lot of them were having babies. One of them who was, I watched all of her videos like religiously because I was like, I know nothing.

So

Trish: yeah,

Kim: I am learning a ton from

Trish: Yeah,

Kim: everything you post is like helpful. And I think thats where, so that's another thing is like, yeah, now there is a community for pregnant women online. There, it's so easy. Like if you're pregnant, Instagram knows immediately because you're seeing all these pregnant women.

Oh, meta

Trish: knows everything. You do

Kim: all, yes. The algorithm is like, here's like baby must haves and newborn essentials like your feed is like flooded with that, which is kind of cool. But [00:48:00] have, this is just like a side question. Have you noticed any like or false information out there

I'm wondering if you see anything that you either like, not just disagree with, but you're like, that shouldn't be on the internet.

Trish: I don't, but I will tell you part of the reason I used to, because I know like when, a couple of things that are funny, I can remember a distinct moment in like 20 13, 20 14.

I was working on a travel assignment in California and I would always ask my patients, did you take a birth class? And I remember this girl saying no, but I was watching YouTube and I remember thinking, oh my God, are you kidding right now? Little did I know that I would become that person, but it's so like, it's so different now.

Back then there really wasn't anyone like me, it was just mom bloggers or YouTubers that weren't like birth professionals. And then in twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, there was a few [00:49:00] of us that really started and now there's a ton. So part of the reason why I don't is I don't wanna get in my own head and be like, oh, look what she's doing.

Like I need to keep up. I need to do that. Yeah, so I just like to do my own thing. Like there's so many people for you guys to choose from. Obviously now there's a bunch of pregnancy, fitness, there's a bunch of birth education. So what I feel like is showing up as me and your vi, I tell my clients all the time, your vibe attracts your tribe.

Like, I want the people who want to work with me. There's people who wanna work with someone maybe who's teaching labor and delivery that's still having babies. I'm not, I'm a Gigi now. I ha you know, I have my little grandson, like I was a labor nurse for 16 years and I have seven children, so I bring to the table a much different set.

So maybe they want more of like a mom figure, you know. And I also do a lot more community. I do, I do give my students a lot more than I probably should, but I like it. And when I started my very first birth class, I did it with another [00:50:00] labor nurse, and she was still, she had just had her second, she was getting ready, she was getting pregnant.

She didn't wanna do all the hangouts. I love my pregnancy hangouts. I know for a fact that that has changed the, you know, my labor bat signal. She didn't wanna do stuff like that, you know, and, and of course she didn't because she's still raising her babies. She's got three babies at home, so, you know.

Kim: So I feel like there is something to, you know, watching maybe like an influencer or a YouTuber share their experience.

Or even like if you're seeing like a pregnant woman working out and she's like, this is the work I did today. Like, that's great to be opened up to and maybe hear learning from someone else's experience or seeing what someone else is doing and thinking like, how could I apply that to my life?

But in the case of like actually wanting to educate yourself on birth or wanting like a fitness program that you can follow A to Z without having to like guess or try like trial and error type of like, let me, let me see what I can do. I'm pregnant. I wanna figure out my workouts. I don't, yeah, [00:51:00] this girl posted a like let me try her workout.

Right.

Trish: And you don't know if it's safe for pregnancy.

Kim: Well that's, yeah. Same thing with like anyone sharing their birth experience. Like, yeah, yeah. They had an experience, but there might be something medical that you don't know about going on in your body or their body. Yeah. That would change it. So,

Trish: and, and me with my experience, I have 16 years as a high risk labor and delivery nurse.

I was not working in birth centers. Now I did the, I always got the unmedicated patients 'cause I just love it. But I'm, I have 16 years of high risk labor and delivery experience. Not even just that. I was a travel nurse, which travel nurses have to be on top of their game because you're mo you're going to a facility and you're getting thrown to the wolves.

So they, they won't take just anybody. Like you have to know your shit. So I did that for 16 years. And my students tell me all the time that they get asked by the staff if they have [00:52:00] experience in labor and delivery or maternal health, because I teach them what I know. Like, and I break it down. I'm a homeschool mom, so I break it down and I, I know people, they need small little chunks.

They need to be able to understand it. I don't want it to overwhelm them. This is probably gonna be the longest podcast I've ever recorded 'cause I know my pregnant women, so y'all can watch it in two parts, and on two x. But you have to really be cautious. And even with me, my whole point where I was getting was I still don't know my students' entire medical history.

So I always tell them, I'm gonna tell you what I know, but it's up to you to make sure it's right for you and you need to trust your provider. Like one of the most powerful decisions you can make is putting some time and effort in choosing the right provider for you. But that's hard because they don't know what they don't know.

Kim: Right. And I do the same thing with like my workouts. I'm like, I can show you this exercise, but you have to have the awareness of your entire [00:53:00] body mm-hmm. As you're doing this move. Like, I, I'm not watching your form. 'cause all my programs are recorded and you can start 'em anytime just because moms, you know, we have busy schedules.

That'd be insane for me to be on live with you, with everybody. Yeah. And watching everybody. So yeah, you have that responsibility of, you know, am I using good form? Is my core engaged as I'm going down into this lunch? Or am I wobbling around? And yeah. So having that awareness and just taking accountability and responsibility for yourself.

Mm-hmm. Whether it's a workout or birth.

Trish: Yeah, exactly. And it, that is where knowledge is power and that is your responsibility. And that's the same with mothering. Like, so what if your mom did it a certain way? You have to figure out what's right for you and your children. And here's the other thing, you're gonna do it wrong at times, and that's okay.

Forgive yourself. I tell like, your kids are what? How old is your oldest eight? So you're gonna get there [00:54:00] probably very soon, or you're there where they start questioning what you're doing. And you know, I always say, Sally, I don't know why, but Sally's mother is not doing that. And I remember saying to my kids like, okay, great for Sally's mom, you are my child and maybe this isn't the right decision and maybe I'll regret it later in life.

But I'm doing what I believe is best for you based on what I know right now. And if I'm wrong, I'll tell you I was wrong and I will apologize to you. But right now this is what you're doing and this is how you're doing it. So I don't care if Sally got a, a cell phone at eight years old. You're not getting one until you're 15.

You know, like whatever it is. You know what I mean? And like, I'm okay with being the worst woman in the world. Because I'm making the best decision I can make knowing what I know for my children, and that is where education and reading books and having a mom village like I, that's what I, I wish Kim, the very first postpartum hangout I have with my members, I.

I will it. I will [00:55:00] ne like it. It's choking me up a little right now. Honestly, I will never, ever forget it because as a labor and delivery nurse, I recover you and send your booty to postpartum. Like I don't spend much time with you. I'll go over and see my patients, all of that. But spending time with other women in the exact same stage of life.

You know, when you're in the throes of it, you're not sitting out at the park having deep conversations, you're watching your toddler, you're, you're putting your baby on your boob. You don't have times to talk about and break down your experiences. So. We started the postpartum community inside the membership because I spend so much time with my mamas, I have some that have been with me since 2020, if that says anything, and, and they're paying monthly to be with me, and some of them are not having babies anymore.

But we started the postpartum hangout and the very first one. We had like 20 moms on. Half of them are like have their cameras off. Some of them are laying in the dark breastfeeding, and one of my moms who had just had her [00:56:00] third, I think, oh my gosh, I think she's had four with me, or maybe she's had three with me.

I'm blanking right now. She comes on and she starts talking about what is known as intrusive thoughts, right? And she's talking about thoughts of harming her baby and. Literally inside of me, I just had floods of memories of being like. I'm gonna drop my baby out the window, like I'm gonna drop my baby down the stairs.

Like, not that I was like thinking I'm gonna throw my baby down the stairs, but I could picture it happening and, and then I was like, I'm a psychopath. Like I need to be locked up and my baby needs to be taken from me because I did not know that's normal. And what I've since learned. And when she started talking about that, the cameras started popping on and all these moms are crying who had experienced this and one of 'em that day.

Felt like someone should take my baby from me. And if you're listening and you've experienced these type of things, it's very normal. And what I've since learned by doing a lot of research, it's actually [00:57:00] our brain. Taking the situation we're in and saying, okay, A, B, C, D, or E could happen. The baby could fall down out of my arms and down the stairs.

The baby could fall out the window. That it's not us thinking, I'm gonna throw my baby. It's thinking what could happen and how do I handle

Kim: it? It's your mama bear protection instincts kicking in all of the, but it feels weird. I made a reel about this and it has over 129,000 likes on it. I'm gonna

Trish: go reshare.

It has over send me the link,

Kim: 18,000 shares. Just people are like, oh, and the comments are just thousands of people saying like, this was my intrusive thought. Yeah, like for me it was always like, I would just be, I need to

Trish: post. I have not really posted something like that, but Kim, I laid in bed that LA that night and cried.

And Steve Steve's never had children. He marries this hot mess with. Seven kids, right? He's never been married, never had kids, and it has been quite an experience for him. He's the most amazing human. But we're I laid in bed and was just [00:58:00] crying because I kind of kept it together on the hangout, but honestly I was processing my own.

Grayson was like six at the time. Seven I was processing. My oldest is probably your age. My oldest is 35. And I'm processing all of these things that no one had ever talked to me about. And it was literally the most profound moment. And that is because of a bunch of women hanging out on Zoom, willing to be real.

And I can tell you, these girls say stuff to me and my team and to each other that they would never say to their mom friends in real life. Because you're not gonna sit at the park and say, God, I was thinking about throwing my baby out the window last night.

Kim: Well, right. You know, the thing is like when you said like, thoughts of harming my baby, it's not like a want, like I want to hurt this child.

It's like, oh my gosh.

Trish: But you feel Yeah, but you feel like you're thinking, like you feel you. The way you process [00:59:00] it in the moment makes you feel like you're psycho or something's wrong with you. You don't understand that that is a normal mama bear instinct and no one's gonna go to the park and tell a group of women that could call DCS on them.

Kim: You know what I'm saying? I mean, the thing is like, I feel like someone like I would now after four kids and like having posted about this and knowing other people experience it, like I would open up about something like that. Like

Trish: yeah, but not everybody's like that and a lot of people are not. Looking at social media and seeing, and if they've never out loud said, I have intrusive thoughts.

Meta's not gonna show them you're real. You know, so it's like there's a just, there's just so much about having women that you can be raw and real with, like, I wish that I had had my community when I was having my children. I was very lucky with this weird bubble of women that I was with. And honestly, one of the things that.

I tell my students [01:00:00] all the time, so one of the moms, she had seven kids and at the time I had three and I thought this lady is off her rocker. I had no idea I would have seven. But I remember her, we were having a Bible study and it was like a co-ed type thing. And she goes, I just do not like Jed, which is her son.

She's like, he is on my last nerve and I don't like him right now. Like, I don't like him. And I remember going. Because I had been ha struggling with one of my kids who was just literally off the wall, off the chain 24 7. And I remember being like, you're allowed to say that you're, you don't like one of your children.

And I said to her, I was like, I like afterwards talk to her. And she was like. They're people. Your people. Sometimes your personalities will clash and sometimes they're just in a weird stage and like you love them and you would die for them, but you don't like who they're being. And that was so freeing to me, like this is another human being.

They aren't an extension of me. They are, but are their own person and you [01:01:00] can love them, but also not like the stage they're in.

Kim: Yes. I like that I've had to use that myself. And like, like you said, their, the personalities, like what are the chances that you have a couple kids like that you guys are gonna be best friends, you know?

Yeah. Like, it's just, yeah. It's really strange thing about, and then also like what I have to, what I'm like preparing my mind for is that. They're going to grow up and I'm gonna have to form a new relationship with my adult child one day. Yeah. I'll tell you what you like. That scares me. I'm like, I hope they like me 'cause I'm so weird.

And like now it's fun. Like I'm a fun mom 'cause I'm a weirdo and I'm silly and I dance and yeah. But when they're older they're gonna be like, wow, mom. Oh no. They're gonna

Trish: come to a stage where like, Grayson's like, mom, don't dance.

Kim: They already told me that Rosie told me to go fix my hair yesterday. She's six.

I love her

already.

Yeah. And she's like, mom, you, you need to change and go do your hair and makeup. People are coming over. And I was like,

Trish: so me and the [01:02:00] girls used me and my youngest, my youngest two above Grayson are my girls. Right. I had Grayson, my oldest was twenty four, twenty when he was born.

And so most of my boys were already like adults when I was having Grayson. But me and the girls pretty much raised Grayson and. We did my travel assignments, me and the girls in Grayson, 'cause I homeschooled and we would just like, if we were getting stressed or whatever, we'd be like dance party. We'd turn the music on, we're all dancing.

I have no rhythm. I don't care. I don't now, if I've had a little alcohol in me, I think I can dance a little better than normal. But we would do that. Well, Grayson will have nothing. He will not do it now. It's so mortifying and embarrassing to him. Me and the girls loved it, which now they don't live here.

It's just me and Grayson and Steve. So, which my daughter just moved out recently and I'm so like, but getting to your point, you, it's really an interesting dynamic. Like I am so blessed and I don't know if you know a lot of my story and a lot of people know that I had a really hard situation with [01:03:00] my ex and he's.

Not a good person. And it's been really hard for me and the kids, none of my kids have contact with him, even Grayson at this point. So, but the fact that there's such amazing people, despite all of that, like I know that's God's grace. And the million times I was on my knees praying. And I made a lot of mistakes.

Just so you mom's listening, I made a lot of mistakes. I have covered a lot of ranges as a mother. 'cause I had my first at 17 and my last at 42. And so I made a lot of mistakes, but I always was authentic with my kids. I always apologized. I always like, I didn't try to like pretend like I did it all right.

And they have become the most amazing people, and I love being around them. Like I really love being around them. And Steve is like, God, they're, they're really amazing people and I. We don't all have as close of a relationship. I don't, I'm not a clingy mom. So like my older two, like I'm not calling them every single day we [01:04:00] talk, you know?

But what's really fun, but not fun is when they start telling you all the shit they did behind the scenes that you didn't know about, that each of them know, knew about. So Elias is listening to this and he's gonna be editing this. 'cause my son is a freaking amazing musician. He, that's why my sound quality is so good on my podcast.

I'm so blessed. But he, they, they have all told me things that I'm like, what are you kidding? Right now?

Kim: Oh, funny. Oh my God. Yeah. I can't wait. Yeah. I can't wait to hear what they talk about at night in their beds when they're not sleeping and they're supposed to be. Yeah.

Trish: Oh gosh. This is a funny but not funny story, and I don't swear.

Okay. I grew up, I would get my mouth washed out if I said crap. I say some things I say, I, I call 'em like the, the PG swear words, but like, if I ever say F it's fudge. Like that's, I don't say the F word. But one time when my two older [01:05:00] boys were like, maybe like 10 and 11, they were laying in bed and the beds are like parallel and Ian has his back to the door.

Hunter has his face to Ian and could see the door, and I come around the corner and my son is like wrapping out every swear word you've ever heard in your life. And hunter's

eyes started going like best. And I was like, what? And, and then Ian goes, is mom behind me? I was like, I just was like, he was just practicing them all, like in a slew, all of them.

And I was like, I've never even said that word in my life.

And like 10 and 11, they're 16 months apart. But I almost died. Like I couldn't believe my baby, like my angel was saying all these words, but now it's one of our funniest family stories.

Kim: [01:06:00] Yeah, because right now Ayla is, you know, eight and she thinks like.

The F word is freaking and frick.

Trish: Yeah. Oh my, I, yeah, I, that my kids were, the s word was stupid when my kids left. Oh, that's

Kim: an S word in my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trish: The S word was stupid, so it was really shocking. I like, I, I was really, really shocked. But you know, it didn't kill them and they became productive people, so it's okay.

Aw,

Kim: yeah. Well, I can only hope like that. That makes me excited. I'm like, I can't wait to like see who they are in the future and like be. Friends, not friends, but like some people get turned off by that. They're like, you can't be friends with your kids. But I wanna have those amazing relationships with my children.

Trish: Yeah, I'm really blessed. I have like, we've been through a lot and some of my kids have struggled with some different, you know, areas in life. But yeah, I'm really, really blessed to their core.

Kim: They are who they are because of the life that they've had. [01:07:00]

Trish: Well, yeah, and they, they have a lot of trauma, so, but they're all doing work on it.

Yeah. Good. That's amazing. Yeah. I think we all need therapy and trauma work, don't you think? Yes.

Kim: I know. I feel like it's becoming more common, but yeah. Could definitely be more, even more so. Yeah, it's expensive, so,

Trish: oh my gosh, it's so expensive. Guess there would be so much money. I don't know, but. I mean, I, yeah, I don't know.

And the other thing about therapy, I don't know if you follow me at all, but I got certified in EFT Tapping that has in life. Oh my God, it's been life changing. I do that with my students. I do it with my clients.

Kim: Emotional freedom technique, right?

Trish: Yeah. Mm-hmm. I do it a little different. I do it with also mindfulness and abundance, like not just working through your trauma, but also what you want in your life.

And I do it with prayer and bible verses and but it's been life-changing for me. But we have talked about literally everything.

Kim: I know and we could keep going.

Trish: [01:08:00] I know, but we probably should end it because I do wanna spend some time with Grayson today. I usually don't work on Fridays. But it, I am in launch, so I have clo free classes tonight.

But let's, so here's what I want all of you guys to hear. Get educated, take care of your body. You can take my birth classes. They are the best in the world. I'm certain of it. And take Kim's. Fitness programs. Explain. Explain like, and we'll have links in our show notes,

Kim: pregnancy workout programs and ones for postpartum.

Because when I was first time pregnancy, I felt so judged for working out and just like limited to what I could and couldn't do what I should and shouldn't do. And I just hated the limitations. But I also like felt like I knew my body, so I went ahead and got my certification during my second pregnancy.

And pre postnatal fitness. And I created my own workouts that were not lame and boring because prenatal workouts were just such a snooze for me. I wanted something that made me [01:09:00] sweat, but also was safe for my body, uhhuh and just finding that balance and, I'm completely opposite.

Trish: I don't wanna sweat.

Kim: Yeah.

Trish: You okay, so keep going. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kim: And then postpartum. I also like. I wasn't six weeks, but I, I was ready to like go out and yeah, go for a walk. Like I really wanted to work out like my upper body, 'cause I was feeling so like hunched over holding a baby all the time. Like, and I felt like, oh my gosh, I just did an upper body, like, just like a little stretching and like.

Little very lightweight bar type workout and I felt so ashamed of it 'cause I wasn't six weeks postpartum and it was such a big deal. So I went ahead and made a program for moms who are ready to start moving their body in a safe way. Because it really isn't about when you start exercising postpartum, it's what you start with, right?

We wanna be, you know, very mindful of our core pelvic floor. Just went through so much. So obviously healing is. Very important, like top priority. But when you are [01:10:00] wanding some movement and you know, core engagement, like what does that look like in those early days or weeks postpartum and how can we work out?

Feel good, feel safe, and protect our bodies. So yeah, that's, that's what I do. And it's, I love it. Fun and I love it. I love the moms who are inside too. We don't have a lot of time, obviously, so the workouts are right under 20 minutes. Some are a little more, some are a little less. But so fun. I have the workouts like in the schedule already.

Just click. You don't have to think about anything. You show up with a sports bra or in your pajamas and press play.

Trish: I love it and it, and it's something they can do during nap time. It's something they can do at the end of the day, the beginning of the day, what have you.

Kim: Yeah. When the baby's sleeping, when the baby's awake, crawling around or in their little, do you have

Trish: some that use the baby, like the baby, like that you do with the baby or, no,

Kim: I have a whole program that I did was working on.

I mean, it's, it's there, it's, it's a little older. I need to like add to it. That's one of mine my like OG 2025. But I was like, I did a lot [01:11:00] of like baby. Holding workout where you're like holding a baby or child or you know, the girls are dancing around like we did like a fairy workout. So like the kids Oh, that's so, because I have other people that are still doing these and these are like from four years ago that I filmed them.

So to me I'm like, I wanna update them, but like, I need to update. Moms love it. Yeah. Moms are like, we love it because my kids are like looking at your kids and it entertains them so they feel like they're watching a little like YouTube video of kids. Yeah. But I'm getting a workout in. 'cause you're right there with your weights and Yeah.

Yeah. It's a win-win. So maybe it is time to like revisit that.

Trish: Yeah. Because I feel like that would've, would, you know, I had five littles at one point. Like I could not have had 20 minutes. To myself, I would have to have had something to incorporate them, usually

Kim: crawling under me, over me, on me around.

Okay. Yeah. Like it is, it's all like kid friendly, like you can press pause at any time. But also I am doing a free week of workouts called Momentum Week [01:12:00] that anyone can do, do. We're gonna do it together. There's gonna be like a start date. I'll put, I'll send you the details, but it's completely free.

And that will lead into a. Four week fitness series if you're interested. Okay. But the first this week is free, like no strings attached, like just, it's in your inbox.

Trish: I love

Kim: it. You can do with it what you wish. So it's something they can

Trish: do on their own time, that free week as well. Well, we're gonna recorded all together.

All together.

Kim: Yeah. I just feel like this time of year we're kind of like in a slump, but like the days are a little longer. You feel spring energy. Yeah. And you're like, I want a new routine. And that's what it's designed for, is to get you into that routine. Get your 20 minute workout in maybe at the beginning of the day or whenever it's gonna fit for you, to really like kickstart your fitness.

Trish: So I, this just made me think next time I come to see my mom, we need to connect. 'cause my mom's in St. Pete's. Oh

Kim: my gosh.

Trish: All right. Well Kim, thank you so much for having me on yours and yours on mine and having just a really chill mom conversation. So fun. So much fun. Thank you. This

Kim: is the best. [01:13:00] I'll do it again.

Anytime.