Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to another amazing episode of Unstoppable Success.

This is the podcast where we hear from amazing leaders and individuals about their rise to success and how they actually bring success not only to the workforce, but to their everyday life.

And today I have an amazing guest, Rita Ernst.

And let me tell you a little bit about Rita.

Let me just go to her website and I'm going to tell you a little bit about her because she is awesome.

She, first of all, has a huge mission, which is to change the way organizations lead by prioritizing trust and autonomy with their teams.

And she believes that when people are empowered to take ownership of their roles and are celebrated for the unique talents, it fosters a culture of engagement and loyalty and growth.

And her backstart is she is an expert in organizational psychology, which means she has a deep understanding about how people design workplaces so that people individually and collectively achieve their fullest potential.

Rita.

So welcome to this podcast because, first of all, I'm a firm believer that if we have better leaders in the world, we would have better, happier companies, Better, happier people, which then four trickles down to, like, everybody being happier.

Well, I, yes, I will, I will support that, Jacqueline.

And I will also say, though, that a big part of my mission is activating people to understand that they do not have to give all that power to somebody else.

That you get to start by leading yourself.

Which is, which is why this collaboration today, this conversation is, is.

Is kismet for us because we, we both see the world in the same place, that our personal agency is so valuable to us, and we should never be giving that away to someone else.

Yep.

Yeah.

Sareeda, tell us a little bit about, you know, you have created this great organization, but tell us how you have become that unstoppable, successful human yourself.

I have to tell you that the secret for me has been being true to where I am in my life and what I need as a whole person.

And so I started my career in corporate life.

I did the fast climb.

I led large organizations, and I was frankly having.

I was having a great time.

I loved my career life and all that I was able to accomplish.

And then after about seven years together, my husband and I decided we wanted to have a family.

And we were getting to an age where we needed to take action, to make.

To move that forward.

We couldn't keep putting it off too much longer.

And so after my first child was born, I stayed in the workforce and my husband stayed home for her first three and a half years.

And was sort of the caregiver in the home.

And then he came to me.

I was, I was, at that time I was working in a corporate position, which was not a good culture fit for me at all.

I found myself every day choosing to stand in my personal values, even when I felt that they were not being reflected back to me in the organization.

And he just said, you know, walk away.

Just, just walk away and tag me out like I'm ready to go back to work.

And so what started as what we thought was just going to be this short sabbatical ended up in.

I ended up pregnant again and child number two coming and extending that into what I considered to be sort of my freelance season.

So I did my freelance consulting season and then I realized, you know, I really want to be involved in my children's school and in their lives and in their sports and in, in the things that they are doing.

And my experience in corporate life said that will not be possible.

You will always be expected to sacrifice your time with your children for the wealth of this company.

And the only way that I could see that I would have any other choice would be to have my own business.

So I took my freelance and turned it into my own business and said, I'm going to give myself the flexibility that I need.

And I, I, honestly, Jacqueline, I really did not think it was possible.

And what saddens me so much is that I think thought we were making such tremendous strides in a new direction around our thinking to only be in the season right now, in the last 18 months where we're getting such a strong anti flexibility response in so many corporations and this drumbeat about, about profit, about Wall street and into, you know, in, in completely subjugating to the bottom of the list in many instances humanity and the people inside of the organizations.

And it saddens me deeply because I really, I really appreciate what I have been able to create and the success that I have is because I gave myself permission to exchange wealth building for life building.

Oh, wait.

Are you there?

Yeah.

Can you hear me now?

I hear you.

You went away and I don't know, I don't know what happened.

I was hearing you fine and then you were gone.

And that was.

All right, so now we're back.

Okay, so listeners, here's the thing.

This is the case that read it saying, know your values.

You have to know your values and know who you are.

And if the company you are with, if the company you are with or if you are leading the charge, making sure that you know the Values of the people that are on your team because they matter.

Everybody matters.

And if you are, you know, if you're listening and you're unhappy with the corporate life, it may not be just the corporate life.

It actually may be the company that you're in and you have to find the right one that believes in you and believes in, you know, that allows you to do those things.

Right.

To have the family, to not have to sacrifice.

And the companies that do that, and I know that there are some, but there are far and few between, they thrive well.

And I do a lot of work today in my practice with privately owned companies.

It's my preferred group to work with people because there's so much skin in the game in a privately held company, the leader at the top of the organization.

They typically know the people inside of their organization and they do have a deep caring.

And I see them meeting the moment, offering the flexibility, offering the, the connectivity that people need.

None of us want to be a widget in the machine.

Right.

Yeah.

We, we are individuals.

We have unique talent, skills and capabilities, and we want to be seen for that.

And this idea of, of trying to erase all of that and put us back in cubicles and turn us into the stepper wives again, it's.

Yeah, I like, I wish everybody could see your facial expression.

It's.

Yeah, exactly.

It is that feeling that so many of us have.

And what's so stunning about this is that in today's economy, where young people have so many other options, where the gig economy is still going pretty strongly, it's surprising to me that this is the corporate play.

But, you know, really smart small businesses, they're capitalizing on this because there's amazingly talented people out there who do not want to play that corporate game anymore.

And if you are recruiting for your small company and you are smart, you can get some of the best talent on the planet right now into your organization with the, with that.

Right.

Offer of that small business offer.

Yep.

You know, I think there, there's a couple things that I think that are so important.

It's like.

It is.

There's so much small.

Small businesses truly, obviously are the backbone of society and culture and things that we do in the United States here and even around the world, Small businesses like rule and being able to, you know, there's, there's a lot of things like, there's like, you need to know what you want and what, what you want to have in your life.

What is that mission that you believe in so that you can either attach it to the company that you're with.

Or maybe you'd be need to be part of that gig economy, but your own personal mission and vision for your life needs to.

Again, I'll go back, like align with the company that you're, that you're with or maybe you start your.

Either you start your own or you become part of the gig economy and you, you know, there's so many different ways, but at the end of the day, your ultimate happiness should not be tied to somebody else's profit.

I have over the past three years and I intend to for the next decade of years to attend the annual World Happiness Summit, my all time favorite conference.

Each year we talk about the definition of happiness or what is happiness.

One of my favorite definitions of happiness came from Professor Fred Luskin from Stanford University who said happiness is simply wanting what you have.

Everything else is stress.

And I think this is what in the generational differences what so many manage people, managers don't understand about younger workers.

They are more interested in happiness from that definition wanting what they have than they are chasing wealth.

And you know, the, the, the gasoline underneath that has powered corporate life for so long has been the strive for something more.

That's been the gasoline people who are just want more and more.

Not, not about being happy with what you have, but the chase for more.

What's more, more title, more pay, more responsibility, you know, better projects.

All of these things.

Not, not about really loving and appreciating what you have.

Now we have a whole generation that is like, man, I don't want to stress about any of that.

Like just give me something reasonable that I can enjoy and be happy.

I just wanna want what I have.

And that, that is such a significant shift in mindset and it's, it's something that is creating a lot of the generational tension right now that this, this story that we tell about people don't want to work anymore, I don't think is an accurate story because I think they do want to work and I do think they want to be successful.

But their definition of that is very different and I think it is more aligned with what Dr. Luskin is teaching about really learning to appreciate and relish in what you have and spend less time focusing on everything else.

Yep.

So what two steps would you have either a company or a person do to help them get to that relish in what they have and be happy?

I love that question.

Thank you for.

Thank.

Just tee that up beautifully for me, Jacqueline.

So I've been doing a lot of Work in the past two years with intact teams, entire populations inside of organizations, at like all employee meetings where we do a very specific practice around one celebrating what we consider to be our own wins.

So getting people to just acknowledge their own successes, because for many of us, that's really hard.

The story that we tell ourselves is that what we are doing doesn't rise to the level of worthiness and that is stealing our happiness.

So when we get people to begin to take pride in whatever their accomplishments are, we are reinforcing the worthiness that they bring into work every day.

And that is certainly getting on that path of wanting what we have.

Right?

Because unworthiness is, is saying, I gotta strive more.

But by getting people to acknowledge their contribution.

So we invite them to talk about that.

The next thing that we do is that we invite them to acknowledge other people, to appreciate, to see and value others around them.

And this is important, of course, to team dynamics.

But the other interesting thing that happens and, and this is what I would tell your listeners to do if you were having the crappiest day ever.

Like if you just had somebody pee in your Wheaties and you are just mad as a hornet, like, let me give it all these, these good 1980s phrases, right?

What you need to do, grab your phone, grab your slack channel, go to somebody that, that you regularly engage with and write them a note of appreciation.

You will immediately reset, recalibrate your internal system because you're going to step back into a really positive moment with them.

You're going to be remembering and reliving that in your mind as you are writing.

You're going to get this positivity bump just from acknowledging that to the other person.

Then you're gifting them the same thing because when they get it and read it and receive it, they're going to get this positivity bump as well.

Right?

So here's two very, very, very simple practices that anybody can do that reinforces wanting what you have because in both of those practices, you, you are proclaiming the worthiness of self and others.

Yeah, I, you know, I absolutely love it.

So here's a question I have for you though.

You know, if, let's first start with the, you know, the wins.

And, and does it have to be a business win or could it be a personal win?

I, you know, I think personal wins matter.

And this is why I say that, because we are whole beings.

I entered the workforce at a time when the, you know, we were told, leave your personal life at the door.

You know, you're Supposed to put your blinders on, go get in your cubicle, sit down at your desk, and do nothing but think about your job for eight solid hours.

Right.

You know, except maybe when you have your lunch break, you could over your lunch break, like, make a doctor's appointment or do something if it was really, really important.

But.

But we are not.

What we know now is that we are whole beings and that it is not in our nature to sustain compartmentalization like that.

So I say absolutely, let people celebrate anything.

It's actually a wonderful conversation if you have somebody in your team and what they are bringing to the group each week when they're talking about their proudest accomplishment of the week is always outside of work.

What a wonderful conversation to engage in.

Hey, Jacqueline, I notice that you have a lot more pride about the things that happen outside of work than you seem to have about what is happening inside of work.

Have you noticed that yourself?

What do you think that's about?

Right?

I mean, what.

What an opportunity to.

To connect.

Maybe they're selling themselves short at work, at which case you're going to reinforce their worthiness.

Maybe there's a gap that you need to be aware of as a teammate or as the manager in this situation, that there is some stumbling block that is getting in their way, that for whatever reason, they.

They're telling themselves they can't speak up about it.

But you've just given them permission to bring it to.

To your attention.

Right.

So.

But absolutely.

I mean, my daughter.

We're gonna.

Sunday, we're packing up the car, and we're driving down the road about an hour and a half, and we're checking her into her freshman college dorm.

And.

Yes, that is going to be on my highlight reel.

Yeah, Right.

For the week.

And it should be.

Right.

And that's what we're talking about celebrating.

We're talking about celebrating things that are on our highlight reel.

Right.

And.

But again, it's.

We.

We've seen this happen in social media.

The risk is this internal.

Our.

Our inner critic wants to question the worthiness of our highlight reel all the time, and that is actually one of the biggest roadblocks people have in terms of their productivity and performance at work.

It's this conversation going on right here between ears.

And so helping break through that.

Helping.

Helping people see, you know, anything can be worthy of celebration.

You could actually make a huge mistake, but learn something big from that mistake, and that could be in your highlight reel for the week, and that could be a real valuable win to share in the Whole group.

Right.

Well, it's also, you know, when we share and I think this is actually, you know, I love what you're saying about, you know, sharing the wins.

And there's a lot of.

There's a lot of things about wins that I just.

Two things that I want to share.

Number one is if somebody can't find the win themselves, then how positive would it be if, you know, let's say, Rita, you're like, I can't figure out what I won.

Whatever, a win this week.

And you and I have been working together and I can say, oh my God, Rita, do you know you just did this amazing thing.

La, la, la, la, la, whatever.

That is exactly awesome.

Does that make, you know, the other person feel.

So there's a little bit of a combination of like pointing out to somebody else what they're.

Maybe it's.

You're pointing out with somebody else's superpowers because maybe they don't even see it within themselves.

Right.

I love that.

And I think you are right and that, you know, it's one of the things that we're often the most blind to are our gifts.

And yeah, you know, what real, what is really the most meaningful and impactful to other people seems ho hum to us.

And we think it's not worthy of speaking to, but other people are like, oh my God, are you kidding me?

Like, I admire that so deeply about you because I could never do that or be that.

And so again, we, you know, most of us have been taught to eat a lot of humble pieces and our inner critic is very strong.

And, and so this practice is so, so very powerful.

And what we have to understand is that this question of worthiness is always subliminally living inside of our minds.

And so it is very important that, that we have this, this interactivity that keeps reinforcing.

Yes, you are worthy.

Because if I, if I'm questioning my worthiness, I can't even get to meaning.

And then.

And if I can't get to meaning, I can't get to joy.

So first I've got.

It's got to feel worthy, right?

Then I've got to attach meaning to it.

So it's.

It's got to be greater than the sum of just getting some tasks done.

So what.

Why does this matter in the larger scheme of things?

Which is another wonderful conversation to have in your team on a regular basis.

And you know, why?

Why what we're accomplishing is mattering to us and to the larger world around us.

And then those things make space for the joy and the happiness to be acknowledged and present.

Yeah.

You know, I love this, you know, and it's.

And acknowledging people, acknowledging that, you know, acknowledging the joy, letting people find where their happiness happens to be and being able to celebrate others is so important.

And I love what you shared about with your, you know, as you shared, like having that, you know, someone's pissed on your Wheaties day and you go back and you write a letter or write something to somebody, whether it's an email or what.

But share in gratitude of somebody else really does have such a huge impact on ourselves.

It does.

It.

It.

Mind, body, soul.

It is a mind, body, soul cleanse.

If you have something that is sitting like on top of your chest that you're just like, I need this weight to go.

This is a mind, body, soul cleanse that you can do.

Yeah.

So, listeners, I want you to understand, like, all these things that Rita is sharing are just amazing steps that you can take to not only be your own, your own best self, to level up with your team, have unstoppable success personally and have unstoppable success for your team and that.

And just think about the good that that will spread across everything when you can have that for your team and your company and yourself.

You know, it's that little.

It's like, you know, a smile is contagious.

And so is this.

Well, I think about.

In many organizations, you have a weekly team meeting you're required to attend.

Right.

It's usually happening on a Monday or a Friday, but everybody gathers at some point in a rooms, a conference room somewhere.

And as people are gathering, what.

What is the energy that is getting invited into the room in many cases, people.

People are complaining.

Oh, my God, what a week.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, it was horrible.

The finance people were all, you know, complaining.

They don't want to approve this, you know, whatever it is.

People are.

People commiserate.

Yes.

Our.

Unfortunately, part of our humanness is that we commiserate.

It's a reflexive language for us.

Commiseration.

So, so what we're retraining is when people gather in a room, instead of letting the small talk default to commiseration, when we gather in a room, our small talk is going to default to wins, it's going to default to what's.

And that's not to say in the full practice that I teach, there are five conversations, and one of the conversations is what needs to improve.

Right.

So that is a place for.

For those complaints to come forward in a healthy way.

But when complaining becomes commiseration, it.

Oh, it sucks the energy out of the room and, and it will be the default unless you intentionally create a practice where you shift the energy and you allow for this to be a positive energy movement.

But once you start, once you set the intention and you start the habit and the habit establishes, then it becomes so much easier.

Right?

Yeah.

I love this.

Listeners, I want you to understand that is a huge key thing to a huge key takeaway because it's not just even for your company, it's for yourself.

If you, you know, you've probably heard it before, if you have a negative thought or, you know, negativity breeds negativity, you need to nip that.

If you can have and celebrate your wins, your team wins, or think about when you've got those negative thoughts going in between, you know, your head not to be, to be the visual might be too much, but like pop it like a pimple, right?

You know, and put in the good, and put all that good stuff in, like give yourself a positive talk, share positivity or share the win or something of gratitude of somebody else and you will see amazing things happen.

Well, can I, can I share real quick?

Here's, here's the neuroscience behind this and why this is so important.

So what I would say to you is if you've got some, if you've got legitimate concerns, because legitimate concerns, right?

There are real pain points that happen in your job, in your organization when what I would say is write them down.

It's sort of that idea of put a pin in it, write them down, then step away from.

Now that you've got them written down, you can come back to them at any time.

Now do your celebration, your appreciation, right?

Take, take that, that moment.

Do the highlight reel stuff.

Do the appreciation stuff.

Bring that positive energy forward.

Because positive energy is the source of creativity and innovation.

So if you, if you bring that energy to the forefront of everybody's and activate being our, their whole being around that energy, then you come to the list of here are the challenges.

We are going to be more creative.

We're going to be faster and more creative in finding solutions around those.

Whereas if we start by complaining and commiserating and then we go to that, it's like you got low battery signals going off.

Yeah, right.

So the neuroscience is that you better neural pathways get better creativity and the positive neural pathways are the ones that you want to build.

That's a really, really great tip.

So listeners, you've got to connect with Rita.

She's absolutely amazing.

Great tips, great tools, great ways for you to elevate and be unstoppable and have that unstoppable success.

So Rita, tell everybody how they can connect with you and get more of your amazing wisdom, influence and, you know, jump into a program with you.

Yes, let's connect.

I would love to do that.

Obviously, educating is part of my jam.

Ignitextraordinary.com will give you access to everything I have going on, all of my social handles.

I am Most active on LinkedIn.

I have a YouTube channel at Ignite Extraordinary where I have content going up daily.

And I have a podcast called the Story I'm Telling Myself where we uncover some of these self limiting beliefs that we hold.

And I would love to have any of you join us over there at the Story I'm Telling Myself and jump in the comments because my guest and I, we love to engage with you.

Awesome.

Well listeners, all of those will be in the show notes as well.

So please do me the favor of connecting with Rita and then do me another favor.

And actually two favors.

One hit subscribe and the other one is to also share this episode with somebody in your life, in your business that you think actually would take away some of these great nuggets that we have shared.

So thank you so much.

Yes, please share.

Right.

I mean this is imagine if we had all of your listeners, Jacqueline, take these practices forward.

I mean, you guys are just taking my heart's desire and helping bring it into the world.

That would be a beautiful gift to give to me and I would not say no.

Right?

Right.

So please share and connect.

And Rita, I thank you so much for being an amazing guest.

I could talk to you for hours.

And thank you listeners for listening.

This is unstoppable success.

And again, hit subscribe and share with all of your friends and colleagues.