1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:04,329 In this episode, neuroception, the unconscious mechanism that 2 00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:08,509 detects cues of safety and danger and shifts your autonomic state 3 00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:14,010 without your awareness, but affects absolutely everything you experience. 4 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:20,419 Hi, I'm Justin Sunseri, a therapist, self-regulation coach, and Polyvagal 5 00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:22,930 Institute editorial board member. 6 00:00:23,819 --> 00:00:28,009 You are listening to Stuck Not Broken, Book One, Trauma 7 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,880 and the Polyvagal Paradigm. 8 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,829 If you're just joining in, welcome, first off. 9 00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:38,680 But second, um, this is an audiobook, and it's meant to be 10 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,290 listened to after the previous ones. 11 00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:47,650 So head back on over to the beginning if you're brand new to this material. 12 00:00:47,974 --> 00:00:52,134 If you've been listening, I sincerely hope that you're benefiting from the audiobook. 13 00:00:52,864 --> 00:00:57,324 You can purchase the written version, which has numerous journal reflections 14 00:00:57,804 --> 00:01:02,074 and primary source citations through the link in the description. 15 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,524 It's available in all formats. 16 00:01:07,537 --> 00:01:07,547 Neuroception. 17 00:01:07,547 --> 00:01:12,347 You understand the autonomic nervous system and its three basic states 18 00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:13,677 based on the previous episodes. 19 00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:17,627 So how does one access these states? 20 00:01:18,477 --> 00:01:20,357 What is the mechanism of action here? 21 00:01:21,327 --> 00:01:26,167 Dr. Stephen Porges coined the term neuroception to describe the 22 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:30,907 unconscious process of detecting cues of safety or danger from the 23 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,777 external and the internal environment. 24 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:39,707 I've seen others call this the body's threat detection system or compare it 25 00:01:39,717 --> 00:01:42,377 to Spider-Man's superhuman spider sense. 26 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,787 These are helpful but incomplete. 27 00:01:46,417 --> 00:01:51,957 Neuroception does not detect only danger, it also detect, detects safety. 28 00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:57,167 External information from the environment passes through our 29 00:01:57,167 --> 00:02:01,407 five senses and then reaches very primitive parts of the brainstem 30 00:02:01,657 --> 00:02:04,327 outside of our conscious awareness. 31 00:02:05,747 --> 00:02:12,477 The brainstem makes the neuroceptive decision to shift autonomic state 32 00:02:12,837 --> 00:02:15,717 up or down the polyvagal ladder. 33 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:21,737 Ideally, the brainstem shifts to the appropriate autonomic nervous 34 00:02:21,737 --> 00:02:27,077 system state and meets the survival needs in the context of the moment. 35 00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:30,537 Neuroception has nothing to do with choice. 36 00:02:30,537 --> 00:02:35,037 It has everything to do with predetermined neurobiological 37 00:02:35,117 --> 00:02:38,027 responses to safety or danger. 38 00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:45,967 Evolution encoded these responses into our DNA generation after generation. 39 00:02:47,157 --> 00:02:52,137 The encoding helped our evolutionary ancestors survive long enough to pass 40 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:57,007 on what helped them to autonomically survive to the next generation. 41 00:02:58,507 --> 00:03:01,877 But neuroception also occurs internally. 42 00:03:02,977 --> 00:03:08,117 Your body sends signals to your brainstem, which processes them 43 00:03:08,117 --> 00:03:11,047 and adjusts your state just like to the external environment. 44 00:03:11,446 --> 00:03:14,056 But neuroception also occurs internally. 45 00:03:14,516 --> 00:03:18,566 Your body sends signals to your brain stem, which processes them 46 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,106 and adjusts your autonomic state. 47 00:03:21,956 --> 00:03:26,376 For example, if you're too hungry, you shift into a fight 48 00:03:26,376 --> 00:03:28,336 state and you become hangry. 49 00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:31,126 Neuroceptive keys. 50 00:03:32,566 --> 00:03:37,746 Each autonomic state restricts or enables the options of our different 51 00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:43,546 experiential domains, our behaviors, our sensations, our impulses, our emotions, 52 00:03:43,996 --> 00:03:45,866 and even our cognitions, our thinking. 53 00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:52,326 In essence, the possibilities of these domains are controlled by each state. 54 00:03:53,006 --> 00:03:59,486 For example, the biology of the safety state unlocks access to behaviors linked 55 00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:06,586 to social engagement, like gentle eye contact and a rich prosodic vocal range. 56 00:04:07,556 --> 00:04:11,506 You can't use these behaviors from flight, fight, or shutdown, 57 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,676 at least not in a genuine way. 58 00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:16,976 I, I think some people can, uh, fake it pretty well. 59 00:04:17,906 --> 00:04:22,176 As one's active state descends the polyvagal ladder, the individual 60 00:04:22,176 --> 00:04:25,926 loses access to the experience that are higher up the ladder. 61 00:04:27,036 --> 00:04:30,716 When you enter the flight state, you lose the feelings of hope and 62 00:04:30,716 --> 00:04:32,516 joy that come from the safety state. 63 00:04:33,576 --> 00:04:38,126 When you enter shutdown, you lose the impulse to aggressively enforce 64 00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:40,526 boundaries that come from the fight state. 65 00:04:41,736 --> 00:04:46,686 Imagine a wide-eyed young boy running from a dog. 66 00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:53,196 Is this young boy capable of smiling in social engagement while fleeing? 67 00:04:53,296 --> 00:04:54,006 Of course not. 68 00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:58,036 Is it because he hasn't chosen to socially engage? 69 00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:58,576 No. 70 00:04:59,496 --> 00:05:03,346 Those behaviors are simply not accessible while he's in flight. 71 00:05:04,206 --> 00:05:09,606 He dropped down the polyvagal ladder and is in a sympathetic survival mode. 72 00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:15,506 His body's potential is entirely skewed towards survival through 73 00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,466 flight, through mobilized evasion. 74 00:05:18,336 --> 00:05:24,166 His polyvagal state, flight, dictates the limits of his experiences in behavior 75 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,516 and emotions and cognitions and impulses. 76 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,636 Even within the same context, your state can limit or expand 77 00:05:31,656 --> 00:05:33,256 your experience and behavior. 78 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,376 If you're playing chess in your safety state, you'll be patient 79 00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:39,406 and you'll think clearly. 80 00:05:40,426 --> 00:05:46,056 If you're playing chess from flight, you'll feel nervous and catastrophize 81 00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:48,206 a potential loss in your mind. 82 00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:53,566 If you're playing from shutdown, well, you may not have even shown up. 83 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:58,296 You lack motivation to try, since in your brain at least, 84 00:05:58,296 --> 00:05:59,426 you think you'll lose anyway. 85 00:06:00,856 --> 00:06:03,966 Shifts down the polyvagal ladder are temporary. 86 00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:09,716 When the boy successfully escapes the dog and returns home, his autonomic nervous 87 00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:12,126 system will return to its safety state. 88 00:06:12,826 --> 00:06:18,256 He'll go to his mom and get a reassuring hug as she soothes him with her voice. 89 00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:24,926 He'll tell her the story, share a smile with her, and perhaps even laugh 90 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:32,196 about the situation He enters flight when he needs to, mobilizes, then 91 00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:38,086 returns to a safety state when in a safe environment and with a safe other. 92 00:06:39,456 --> 00:06:44,236 Although defensive states are temporary, it is possible to get stuck in them. 93 00:06:44,246 --> 00:06:46,886 We will discuss this, uh, more in section three. 94 00:06:48,012 --> 00:06:49,762 Neuro- neuroceptive predictability. 95 00:06:50,592 --> 00:06:55,002 Some interpersonal cues are more predictive than others in providing 96 00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:59,712 a neuroception of safety or danger, though this can vary significantly 97 00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:01,072 across individuals, of course. 98 00:07:01,982 --> 00:07:07,412 For example, safety, vocal prosody, which is the musical quality of voice, gentle 99 00:07:07,412 --> 00:07:13,122 touch, face-to-face interaction, uh, gentle eye contact, the use of facial 100 00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:14,612 muscles, especially the upper face. 101 00:07:14,692 --> 00:07:17,362 These all… These can typically all indicate safety. 102 00:07:18,642 --> 00:07:19,222 Danger. 103 00:07:20,182 --> 00:07:25,302 Examples are harsh tone of voice, like too low or too high, monotone voice, 104 00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:32,462 wide eyes, flat affect, or encroaching on space, getting too close to people. 105 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:37,222 Those can typically predictably be neurocepted as cues of danger, 106 00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:39,152 though of course, lots of variation. 107 00:07:40,052 --> 00:07:43,272 We take in others' behaviors through our senses. 108 00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:47,742 These behaviors will trigger responses of safety or danger, basically. 109 00:07:48,462 --> 00:07:52,792 When someone smiles genuinely, it triggers a neuroception of safety within us. 110 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,192 When we see someone who has no facial movement, it triggers 111 00:07:56,192 --> 00:07:57,772 a neuroception of danger. 112 00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:04,152 Other sensory inputs that don't involve people are also likely to trigger feelings 113 00:08:04,182 --> 00:08:09,962 of safety or danger, like environmental cues such as the feel of a gentle 114 00:08:09,962 --> 00:08:15,052 breeze, the colors of a sunset, or the sound of waves crashing on the shore. 115 00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:17,272 These will likely trigger safety. 116 00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:22,982 Other things will likely trigger defense, like loud, booming bass 117 00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:25,412 sounds or the prick of a thorn. 118 00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:32,422 We don't choose how we feel about these, nor do we decide how we neurocept them. 119 00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:36,952 We simply take in the external stimuli through our senses. 120 00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:42,309 Then that stimuli gets filtered through our brain stem, shifting our autonomic 121 00:08:42,339 --> 00:08:43,899 nervous system state accordingly. 122 00:08:45,279 --> 00:08:50,449 This discussion of the unconscious nature of neuroception may lead to a 123 00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:53,039 harsh mechanical view of ourselves. 124 00:08:53,979 --> 00:08:55,429 We're obviously not machines. 125 00:08:55,989 --> 00:08:57,849 We aren't computers running code. 126 00:08:59,229 --> 00:09:01,049 But in a way, we kind of are. 127 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:07,369 Humans can do incredible things that seem to detach us from 128 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,949 the rest of the animal kingdom. 129 00:09:11,179 --> 00:09:14,139 We make tools that help us make other tools. 130 00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:21,789 We create incredible works of art and foods that seem to touch us to the core. 131 00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:28,959 At the same time, underneath it all, we are very much biological 132 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,159 organisms just like any other. 133 00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:36,659 Our bodies do indeed receive sensory inputs and then shift state in 134 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,539 response to those sensory inputs. 135 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:45,189 I'm positive you can think of at least one example of your body doing something 136 00:09:45,189 --> 00:09:50,739 that you didn't consciously want it to, like a time when you froze when you would 137 00:09:50,739 --> 00:09:57,439 have preferred to fight, a time when you collapsed in helplessness when you 138 00:09:57,439 --> 00:10:04,239 really wanted to speak powerfully, a time when you desperately wanted to connect 139 00:10:04,249 --> 00:10:11,359 to someone but could not force yourself to hug them or to receive their hug. 140 00:10:12,999 --> 00:10:17,239 While we are inherently biological organisms, we also seem to have a lot 141 00:10:17,239 --> 00:10:19,069 of choice every moment of every day. 142 00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:24,099 Now, you can't choose to exist in your safety state in this moment. 143 00:10:24,109 --> 00:10:24,749 Not exactly. 144 00:10:25,919 --> 00:10:28,769 But can you choose to extend your exhale? 145 00:10:29,649 --> 00:10:33,139 Can you choose to cut open a lime and mindfully smell it? 146 00:10:34,429 --> 00:10:37,769 Can you choose to step outside your home and feel the sunlight? 147 00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:44,849 It seems like we can generally choose within every small moment of the present. 148 00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:49,299 Those choices add up and help us access more safety. 149 00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:57,219 Yes, we are organisms, and our state limits our experiences, but 150 00:10:57,769 --> 00:11:02,419 we can influence our state to become more experientially expansive. 151 00:11:03,649 --> 00:11:09,729 As we access more safety, our neuroceptive triggers still exist, 152 00:11:09,809 --> 00:11:16,199 but we'll have more capacity to notice and then use them in our decisions. 153 00:11:16,199 --> 00:11:18,879 Noticing neuroceptions. 154 00:11:19,939 --> 00:11:22,079 Let's do a quick experiment using your imagination. 155 00:11:22,569 --> 00:11:26,709 I'll share a story, and all you need to do is fill in the blanks. 156 00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:31,199 Notice what internal shifts are happening within you throughout the story. 157 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:38,109 It might be difficult, but do your best to identify any subtle emotions or 158 00:11:38,109 --> 00:11:40,309 sensations that come up in your body. 159 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:45,199 You're walking down a sidewalk after having gotten off work. 160 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:51,169 It's dark outside as you make your way to your car about a block away. 161 00:11:52,359 --> 00:11:55,859 You can hear the dull hum of traffic in the distance. 162 00:11:57,179 --> 00:12:02,289 As you walk, you think about the day's events, particularly the stressful ones. 163 00:12:03,659 --> 00:12:08,559 You look down as you walk, remembering what someone said that upset you. 164 00:12:11,757 --> 00:12:16,847 Your thoughts focus on the memory, wondering why that person talked 165 00:12:16,857 --> 00:12:21,377 to you that way, what you should have done differently, and so on. 166 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,807 You feel blank. 167 00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:31,103 As you think, you lose connection to the sounds of the environment, 168 00:12:32,153 --> 00:12:34,413 including the footsteps behind you. 169 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:40,013 When you do notice the footsteps, you feel blank. 170 00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:45,903 Your body feels the impulse to blank. 171 00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:51,673 You may have felt minor autonomic shifts within you as you 172 00:12:51,673 --> 00:12:54,023 imagined the scenario unfolding. 173 00:12:54,993 --> 00:12:59,383 You may have shifted into defensive activation, accompanied by a slight 174 00:12:59,393 --> 00:13:03,733 impulse to run or to use aggression toward the potential danger. 175 00:13:04,313 --> 00:13:10,843 Or perhaps you tensed, your gut twisting, feeling immobile with a tinge of fear. 176 00:13:11,663 --> 00:13:14,453 Or maybe you just felt uneasy because you didn't know where I 177 00:13:14,453 --> 00:13:15,633 was going to take you in the story. 178 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:21,913 You can notice neuroreceptions as they happen, or even afterward 179 00:13:22,393 --> 00:13:23,783 when you're reflecting back. 180 00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:25,013 That's a lot more common. 181 00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:29,263 We look back and recognize these neuroceptive shifts 182 00:13:29,413 --> 00:13:30,923 in our autonomic state. 183 00:13:32,203 --> 00:13:37,523 After the fact, we can see when these shifts happen, identifying what state 184 00:13:37,553 --> 00:13:40,463 we were in and which one we shifted to. 185 00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:46,413 We may also notice the environmental stimuli that triggered the state 186 00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:49,923 shift, but commonly we don't. 187 00:13:51,103 --> 00:13:59,363 What we neurocept as safe or dangerous easily and typically goes unnoticed, even 188 00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,323 when we examine the situation later on. 189 00:14:02,773 --> 00:14:08,833 There could be otherwise benign aspects of the environment that mean something to 190 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:13,863 a particular individual, and they don't realize that they are cues of danger. 191 00:14:14,063 --> 00:14:14,903 Got to pay attention. 192 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:20,953 I was working with a teen student on identifying what fidget might help her 193 00:14:21,013 --> 00:14:24,263 to discharge some stuck defensive energy. 194 00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:26,653 More on this in Stuck Not Broken Book Three. 195 00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:31,763 I offered her a green rubber ring with spikes all around it. 196 00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:39,293 She declined with a forceful shake of her head, but offered no explanation. 197 00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:45,461 She explained later on in the session that the color green 198 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:47,881 causes her to feel nauseous. 199 00:14:48,911 --> 00:14:54,281 Green being the color of her father's deceased body the last time she saw him. 200 00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:59,931 Green has no inherent meaning or value by itself. 201 00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:00,981 It's just a color. 202 00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:07,151 Honestly, it's probably more likely a neuroception of safety for most people, 203 00:15:07,911 --> 00:15:10,561 given the, you know, the greens in nature. 204 00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:15,991 But for this person, the color green had meaning. 205 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:22,011 Not, uh, primarily a cognitive meaning, but more of a, a 206 00:15:22,011 --> 00:15:23,551 visceral, a body-based one. 207 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:30,831 She felt the bottom-up activation during the session, a defensive neuroception 208 00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:33,721 that she experienced as nausea. 209 00:15:35,331 --> 00:15:39,051 Neuroception has some generally predictable elements. 210 00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:44,701 However, neuroceptive triggers and autonomic shifts vary 211 00:15:44,721 --> 00:15:46,181 from person to person. 212 00:15:47,831 --> 00:15:53,791 Traumatized individuals may show the greatest variance, as I'll 213 00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:55,271 discuss more in section three. 214 00:15:56,481 --> 00:16:02,391 You may have your own version of green, something that triggers 215 00:16:02,391 --> 00:16:05,621 defensive activation for you, but not really for anybody else. 216 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:12,431 Maybe a specific place or object, maybe a scent, a sound, or a texture. 217 00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:15,799 Healthy neuroception. 218 00:16:17,189 --> 00:16:21,679 Healthy neuroception means functional based on external and 219 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:26,029 internal survival needs for the organism in the present moment. 220 00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:29,699 Healthy does not refer to good. 221 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,419 Healthy does not carry judgment either. 222 00:16:34,489 --> 00:16:39,239 Healthy refers to being biologically optimal for maintaining 223 00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:44,549 ideal body functioning and responding to contextual danger. 224 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:50,349 Personally, I think functional neuroception might be a better phrase. 225 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:56,777 Through healthy neuroception or functional neuroception, the body 226 00:16:56,797 --> 00:17:01,907 detects and shifts to the appropriate state based on contextual needs. 227 00:17:02,997 --> 00:17:09,547 The body uses social behavior in a safe environment with safe people, and it does 228 00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:16,367 not use defenses like running or fleeing unless it's in a dangerous environment. 229 00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:23,687 The individual with healthy neuroception accurately detects safety cues and then 230 00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:28,717 climbs to the top of their polyvagal ladder, or they maintain access to it. 231 00:17:30,657 --> 00:17:35,767 This individual might be a student who goes to a safe school, lives in a safe 232 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:42,157 home, and can sit in class, interact with others appropriately, and learn. 233 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:50,787 The student neurocepts safety in their life contexts, and their behaviors follow. 234 00:17:52,087 --> 00:17:57,417 This same student can also access their defensive states when necessary, 235 00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:01,707 like when actual environmental danger cues trigger defense. 236 00:18:03,177 --> 00:18:08,607 They will feel mobilization, flight-fight mobilization, if they hear a loud 237 00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:10,407 booming sound in the distance. 238 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:14,997 At that moment, their body will access flight activation. 239 00:18:16,097 --> 00:18:19,647 If they can't flee the dangerous situation, they'll access fight. 240 00:18:20,657 --> 00:18:25,987 If they cannot escape or fight, they will neurocept life threat and then 241 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,177 immobilize in their shutdown state. 242 00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:35,807 This sequence is the path of healthy neuroception based on environmental cues. 243 00:18:36,396 --> 00:18:41,866 Again, this is not an issue of the individual choosing to react or 244 00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,426 choosing to neurocept and shift state. 245 00:18:45,536 --> 00:18:50,416 Neuroception is an unconscious process that aided our evolutionary 246 00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:55,196 ancestors in surviving and passing on their genetic material without 247 00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:57,326 conscious direction or control. 248 00:18:58,386 --> 00:19:02,866 They needed to accurately and immediately detect safety and danger, 249 00:19:03,646 --> 00:19:06,016 shift state, and also shift behaviors. 250 00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:10,396 These processes are still alive within us today. 251 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,250 Unhealthy neuroception. 252 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:20,690 Through unhealthy neuroception, the body does not accurately detect or shift 253 00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:23,070 state in response to the environment. 254 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:29,000 The body does not fight or flee in a dangerous environment, and it does not 255 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,070 use social behavior in a safe environment. 256 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:39,060 In other words, the individual's threat detector is missing threats, and their 257 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:41,840 safety detector is missing safety. 258 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:46,800 Or if it is detecting it, it's not shifting to the appropriate 259 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,530 state for that context. 260 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,950 Unhealthy neuroception may be why some traumatized individuals 261 00:19:55,370 --> 00:20:00,540 continually repeat the same harmful decisions, and even why trauma passes 262 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,980 from one generation to the next. 263 00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:09,290 They don't recognize danger in others and don't respond appropriately. 264 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,640 They also don't recognize safety when it's there. 265 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:18,730 They end up feeling safe with dangerous individuals and feel 266 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,330 danger with safe individuals. 267 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,480 They unknowingly fill their lives with the wrong people, repeating 268 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,960 the same disastrous relationships. 269 00:20:30,067 --> 00:20:33,597 The following is a common scenario of generational trauma 270 00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:35,097 that I've seen in my practice. 271 00:20:35,837 --> 00:20:40,697 The mom who was sexually abused by her authoritarian stepfather does 272 00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:46,197 not pick up on the danger of her own short-term boyfriend living 273 00:20:46,197 --> 00:20:47,977 with her and her own children. 274 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:55,307 She feels a pseudo-connection to him and fails to recognize his red flags. 275 00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:58,707 He's jealous, controlling, and demanding. 276 00:20:59,627 --> 00:21:04,287 The short-term boyfriend sexually abuses a child in the home, and Mom denies it 277 00:21:04,287 --> 00:21:06,097 occurred when the child comes to her. 278 00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:12,497 This dynamic creates a new generation of sexual trauma by a substitute 279 00:21:12,567 --> 00:21:14,737 authoritarian father figure. 280 00:21:16,007 --> 00:21:18,387 The mother's unhealthy neuroception thwarted her 281 00:21:18,387 --> 00:21:19,967 from detecting the boyfriend's 282 00:21:22,307 --> 00:21:22,597 danger cues early on. 283 00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:23,697 She did not neurocept 284 00:21:26,677 --> 00:21:30,707 other red flags that may have been right under her nose, such 285 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:35,257 as inappropriate gift-giving by him to one child in particular. 286 00:21:36,397 --> 00:21:39,697 It also prevented her from listening to her own children 287 00:21:39,697 --> 00:21:41,167 and taking them seriously. 288 00:21:41,857 --> 00:21:45,997 Instead of mobilizing with flight-fight energy to protect her 289 00:21:45,997 --> 00:21:51,887 children, she denies the allegation and retreats into pseudo-connection 290 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:53,737 with her abusive boyfriend. 291 00:21:55,147 --> 00:22:00,067 As she looks back from her safety state someday, those red flags become 292 00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:05,827 much more apparent, and she'll realize the cues that she saw but did not 293 00:22:06,097 --> 00:22:08,827 at that time register as dangerous. 294 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:14,997 She may remember the first time the boyfriend erupted in anger over 295 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:21,487 something minuscule or a joke he made with a perverse sexual innuendo 296 00:22:21,947 --> 00:22:23,267 that was far from appropriate. 297 00:22:24,597 --> 00:22:27,867 She can look back and see the escalation of control over her 298 00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:33,097 children and his manipulation of her emotions when the child raised, 299 00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:34,947 raised the alarm and told the truth. 300 00:22:36,357 --> 00:22:39,767 At the moment, she missed those red flags because of an unhealthy 301 00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:42,857 neuroception from her own traumatic past. 302 00:22:44,407 --> 00:22:49,747 Later, as she builds more safety in her system and can think more clearly, these 303 00:22:49,757 --> 00:22:51,967 things will become painfully obvious. 304 00:22:53,841 --> 00:23:00,021 I'm sure you see the child victim in this scenario may end up stuck in trauma 305 00:23:00,051 --> 00:23:02,891 and repeat this dysfunctional pattern. 306 00:23:04,321 --> 00:23:08,811 As an adolescent, the abused child will find comforts in romantic 307 00:23:08,811 --> 00:23:13,801 partners that soothe their emotions, providing a pseudo-connection 308 00:23:14,081 --> 00:23:16,011 and a false sense of safety. 309 00:23:17,551 --> 00:23:21,631 The partner will use the adolescent for their own selfish motives, 310 00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:27,841 and the adolescent will miss red flags, such as forcing them to share 311 00:23:27,841 --> 00:23:29,661 their mobile location at all times. 312 00:23:30,921 --> 00:23:35,031 As the adolescent enters adulthood, the same patterns solidify. 313 00:23:35,991 --> 00:23:39,921 They will consistently seek connection with others and 314 00:23:39,921 --> 00:23:41,711 find it in the wrong people. 315 00:23:43,391 --> 00:23:46,961 Their unhealthy neuroception will keep them from using their own 316 00:23:46,961 --> 00:23:52,851 flight-fight inner power, preventing them from forming real and safe, 317 00:23:52,851 --> 00:23:55,991 loving connections with trustworthy individuals and partners as well. 318 00:23:57,531 --> 00:24:03,891 I have worked with kids, adolescents, adults, families, and sadly have 319 00:24:03,911 --> 00:24:07,831 seen this scenario unfold many times. 320 00:24:08,691 --> 00:24:14,431 I've seen it at every stage through the various age groups that I've worked with. 321 00:24:15,361 --> 00:24:21,601 Maybe not exactly like this, but some variation of this general story. 322 00:24:22,981 --> 00:24:27,591 Of course, this does not have to be a predetermined outcome for anybody, 323 00:24:28,511 --> 00:24:33,191 and steps can be taken to prevent this potential from becoming a reality. 324 00:24:34,621 --> 00:24:39,591 If you identify with this story or your own version of the story, I 325 00:24:39,591 --> 00:24:43,911 hope the Self-regulation System helps you break the generational cycle. 326 00:24:44,311 --> 00:24:47,501 Please seek out a professional if needed. 327 00:24:49,311 --> 00:24:50,281 That's neuroception. 328 00:24:51,341 --> 00:24:56,481 Next time, as we continue Stuck Not Broken Book One, Story Follows State. 329 00:24:57,221 --> 00:25:00,131 Why do you think the way that you do? 330 00:25:00,931 --> 00:25:01,331 Thank you for listening.