Emanuele Pani (00:01.654)

I want you to think about the last time you knew exactly what to do. You had the plan ready, everything was organized.

And yet you didn't do it. Not because

Something came up not because some big thing, but because you just couldn't get yourself to do it. And your mind, that beautiful, powerful, complex mind of yours.

Create a story, an elaborate reason as to why not. You sold yourself on it. Maybe you went to an event and you came back and you're so fired up. This is the moment I'm really gonna do this. Get all the pieces and then nothing. Nothing happened.

And I want you to understand that that wasn't weakness. That wasn't

Emanuele Pani (01:20.492)

Because there is something wrong with you. That was just your program. And your program was just stronger than you. And so this is the promise that I have for you today. By the end of the show, we're gonna understand, you're gonna understand why that happens. What's sabotaging you?

Emanuele Pani (01:51.897)

Welcome to episode three of the CEO Mindset. I am your host, Emanuele Pani. My friends call me E. Let's get into it.

First things first, I want you to understand something.

The issue is not information or lack of information. The issue hasn't been lack of information for years. I'm 37 years old. If you're my age, a little older or a little younger, the issue hasn't been information since we've been born. In this time of AI, we have at our fingertips.

access to information that kings and emperors hundreds of years ago couldn't get even if they wanted to. And so

What is the problem, Eve? Well the problem is not an information problem, it's an identity problem. The problem is an identity problem and a layer deeper than that. It's a story problem and a wound problem.

Emanuele Pani (03:14.36)

There is a lady by the name of Lise Bourbeau. And she wrote a book called Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self. And it's not a book that a few people have read. She has sold over three million copies. And the book has been trans translated in over 20 languages. And I'm gonna share with you what she talks about. But before I do that, I want you to imagine a funnel.

And at the top of the funnel there is capacity. What we all want. We all want to increase our capacity. We want to be able to do more, earn more. And the way we go about it, up until now, the way we go about it is through mindset. So right under that, at the second layer of the funnel, is mindset, system, strategies.

And we're obsessed with systems and strategies. We all love systems and strategies. The issue is we are not addressing the bottom of this funnel. And so we keep filling the funnel with things, but the funnel is cracked at the bottom. And so you have a leaky funnel. And that's why things keep slipping away. And at the bottom of that funnel.

There is what

Miss Burbo has identified as the root suffering, the core wounds. And she's identified five. We all have.

Emanuele Pani (05:03.446)

Some of us, as high achievers as we are, and most of you are high achievers, might have more than one. We go around collecting them like trophies. But we all have one.

And so let's talk about them. But as we talk about them, I want you to just allow yourself to listen, to feel. Not with your brain, but with your body. Because your body will know the truth. Your body will tell you Hey, that's ours. This guy's talking about us. Listen, pay attention. That's that's that's us. Pay attention.

And the thing is this, each one of the core wounds comes with a story, comes with a mask, comes with a sabotager that goes along with it.

And so

By understanding them, your life is gonna change. So let's get into them. Number one.

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There is a core wound of rejection. And the core wound of rejection creates a story of the withdrawal. So what's the withdrawal? Who's the withdrawal? Well the withdrawal is the person that

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Leaves before they're left is the person that doesn't send the message, doesn't send the email, doesn't make the phone call. Because it's safer to never try than to try and hear no. And so they make themselves invisible. They think if I just don't take up too much space, they can't reject.

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The second one is abandonment. And abandonment creates

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Dependency or codependency. And this one is one of mine. And the codependency, what does it look like in day-to-day?

Well, we are always looking for people to approve of us to be

Emanuele Pani (07:50.146)

Give us the okay as to what it is they were doing. And the crazy part is this.

Even knowing it, even being aware of it.

Emanuele Pani (08:04.96)

I can still feel it. I can feel it pulsating as I push myself to new levels. As I push myself past my comfort, I can feel it. I can feel it now with this show. I can feel it now launching this new community. I can feel it. I can feel this need to.

Have people support me, approve of me, to have people

Emanuele Pani (08:41.379)

Got me.

And what we get to realize if abandonment is your core wound. What you get to realize is the fact that now, Bebs, you got you. You don't need somebody else to get you. Nobody can abandon you now because you got you. And yet, it's here.

And so if this is yours, I see you. And I'm here to tell you that you got you, the same way I now got me. From there we move to number three, which is humiliation. And the humiliation creates the mask of the masochist. And the thing that is tricky about humiliation is that someone somewhere along the line made you feel bad.

For your needs. Made you feel that your needs are a burden, that your desires are shameful. And so you carry the world on your shoulder, you overload yourself, and

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When things are going too well

you actually start to sell sabotage. Because again, it's better to say yes to everybody else than to risk appearing like you are giving you what you need.

Emanuele Pani (10:33.39)

And from there, wound number four is the betrayal wound. The betrayal wound creates a mask, a story of the controller. And I know I'm gonna have a lot of controllers in the room. Because a lot of entrepreneurs are controllers. What does that look like? You just can't let it go.

You gotta keep your hands and your fingers in everything that you do because at a certain point in your life you trusted someone, you trusted something and that let you down.

And so you have decided that that's not gonna happen again. And I understand. And also be aware of it.

Emanuele Pani (11:35.124)

You can hear it, right? This need control things all the time.

And then the last one, number five, is injustice. And injustice has created the rigid, so rigidity. And injustice looks like and the rigid looks like everything has be

Perfect. And so there's this illusion of perfection that you're seeking all the time. Because when you were growing up, there was a story that you were loved when you were perfect. So your love was conditioned. And so you have become perfect, and everything has to be right. And the tricky part about it is that.

Emanuele Pani (12:30.144)

You never start things because everything has to be perfect and beginning something means that it's going to be imperfect. And so you don't start. And please understand this. If your mask is perfectionism, often time you're not a perfectionist, you're just afraid.

Because fear is really what is running things for you. Because you say to you, shit E, if I do this and it's not perfect, are people gonna love me? Am I gonna be am I gonna be okay? And so one of these core wounds is impacting your life. And has been running everything for you.

And as you're listening to me, you're gonna recognize which one is yours.

Emanuele Pani (13:32.418)

But I want you to understand something.

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The core wounds were there and they created a behavior for a reason.

The behavior helped you stay safe, helped you survive, helped you take care of you. And so I don't want you to judge it. I don't want you to be hard on yourself. I just want you to name it. I just want you to see it. And I want you to understand something. There is a law in the universe called the law of

Polarity, which means that if the floor is 10 feet from the ceiling, the ceiling gotta be 10 feet from the floor. Meaning that in anything and everything that happens, there is good as much as there is bad. Napoleon Hill has a saying that every adversity carries with it the seed of unequivalent benefit.

And so if you allow it to be, if you choose to allow it to be, this way of being has in it

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Opportunity has in it power for you.

And so you can choose as a withdrawer to

Let yourself be seen. You can choose as a dependent to trust yourself in your own compass and understand that you are.

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Good and that you got you. You can choose as a masochist to choose yourself and that it's okay for you to go after what you want, that your needs are valid. You can choose as the controller to trust the process.

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And lastly, you can choose as the rigid to let life be imperfect and beautiful.

Because Bebs, at the end of the day, you have been this way.

And that's okay. But what I want you to do this week is to now bring awareness to how these ways of being have limited you up until now. And I want you to see them and I want you to name them.

And I want you to let them go. I want you to give gratitude for them and understand, okay, thank you. Thank you for keeping me safe.

Emanuele Pani (16:48.842)

And as you listen to me, you're gonna have awarenesses. You're gonna hear awareness knocking at the door. And I want you to let it in. And I want you to let in how

This mask, these stories have been playing out in your life.

As a controller, how is this impacting your business? How is this impacting your family life? As a rigid, how is this eternal pursuit for perfection? How's that been going for you?

Emanuele Pani (17:36.672)

As a masochist, when is the last time you've allowed yourself to show up for you and to take care of yourself? And again, understand that these wounds are here and they've been here for a very long time. And so I don't pretend that this one 20-minute episode with me is going to fix everything for you. And also, it can. This can be the beginning.

of a completely different life for you. And it starts with awareness, it starts with you naming it, calling it, seeing it, because the moment that you can name it, you can change it.

And so that's what we're gonna do for this week. This is what you're gonna do for this week. Be kind to you, name your wound, see your wound, see how that has impacted your decision making up until now. And then perhaps choose different. And understand that no matter which wound is yours, you now got you.

And there is this great version of you, there is a waiting on the other side of it. And that no matter what happens in life

Emanuele Pani (19:11.596)

You can change the meaning.

And as you know, through identity and meaning, you change your life. And so this week, bring awareness. See which one is yours. See how it's impacting your life up until now. Name it, change it, and keep working on it.

I'll see you guys next week. Ciao guys.