Foreign.

Welcome to the Own youn Choices on youn Life podcast.

I know you are here wanting to change and rewrite your story.

You are desiring to step into the impact that you know you were here to create.

I am here to guide you with the proven tools and strategies used by myself and our speakers

to support you in taking radical responsibility in your life and learning how

to own your choices to change your story.

My name is Marsha Van Winesburg.

I am a storytelling business coach, master NLP

trainer, speaker, podcaster, and seven times published author.

My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning

how to share them with the world.

I am so grateful you are here.

Let's get started.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the show.

We are still the beginning of January and

happy 2026.

And I know this is a time when people are setting big goals.

They've done vision boards.

Maybe you've already done your vision board or

you've thought about it and a you don't have to do a vision board.

That's not a requirement.

It is one tool and technique that people use when it comes to really being clear on the

vision that they want to create for them and how they will manifest and work towards that.

So I want to talk to you today about like before you actually set the goals,

or if you have set the goals,

how can you build the identity that can hold them?

Because I often say that the vision is not the problem.

The vision, the dream that drops down for you,

where the disconnect happens, is how can you become the version of you who can hold that?

That is identity work.

And so I want to talk to you a little bit

about what identity is, because it's something that you hear a lot about in the online space

and there's a little bit more to it.

So I want to give a little bit more of an NLP explanation of it and anchoring this in for

you.

Everyone is setting goals right now.

They're buying new planners, new vision

boards, new calendars for their walls, like setting the big, big goals for the year.

And instead the question that I want you to ask yourself is,

who is the version of me that can actually hold this?

Who is that version?

So how can you make this year feel different? Not because of what you want, because of who

you're becoming.

And we want to speak all about identity first and strategy second.

Because strategy without the identity work will not create results not that you hold and

results that you can continue.

It is the identity work first.

I've actually been in this Space in the last

few weeks where I've made a really big decision in my business that is huge and

investment wise, time wise, energy wise,

and instead of focusing only on do I have that clear path to make the strategy to make the

investment,

I really spent time on the identity of the version of me who actually is that person.

How does she show up? How does she share?

How does she show up for her business herself? What does that look like?

And so this is just a perfectly timed episode and I know I'm not the only person who is

going to be able to take away something from this episode.

Plus I'm actually sharing it's called a Visionary Soiree night for the High Vibe women

in Waterloo, Ontario.

If you are near Waterloo on January 9th and I

that is the date this episode comes out.

So there might be some tickets left if you want to reach out to me.

I am going to be teaching people how to do vision boards differently and it really does

come down to this piece of it.

So let's talk about what is identity.

Identity is the deepest level of change in

nlp.

That's what it is.

It's the deepest level of change.

And without making change in identity, you're not creating lasting change.

Identity is who you believe that you are.

It's the lens that you wear that shapes your

thoughts, emotions, actions, decisions, choices, possibilities,

all of it language that you use.

It is the lens your identity.

Your identity determines your ceiling, how far you're going to allow yourself to grow and

your floor, your beliefs in yourself.

As you've heard me say many times,

the ceiling is up here.

That's the biggest thought that we have for

our life.

The floor is your deepest belief.

Your floor will be the problem every single

time.

That's your beliefs.

Identity is the lens that you wear that shapes your thoughts and beliefs, actions, choices,

decisions about yourself.

So your identity is determining both.

Your habits don't create your identity.

You can literally go to the gym, you can do all of the habits, check them off.

If you don't see yourself as the version of the person who is doing that,

then it doesn't change your identity.

Your identity actually creates your habits.

So habits don't create the identity.

The identity creates the habits.

So someone who wants to write a book,

right? 82% of the people actually want to write a

book.

Only less than 1% actually do,

versus the identity of an author.

If you see yourself as an author,

and I've witnessed this firsthand,

absolutely firsthand, people come to me with their book completely done and ready to go and

so scared to put it out in the world because of what will everyone think or say?

And there's no criticism in this.

Like my bestseller was eight years ago.

I know that feeling.

I know that feeling.

I just didn't understand identity work then.

But somebody who identifies themselves as an author, honestly, they're like, my book's

going out.

I got people to help.

I don't give a **** what anyone else thinks.

They just have a different mentality,

different results and different way of thinking.

Not better, worse, or the same.

It's just they led with identity.

They can see themselves as that author.

They recognize it clearly.

Okay, so why does identity work have to come before goal setting?

Most people do reverse the process, right? They set the goals that their identity isn't

calibrated for.

So you want to be able to sit in where you are today and feel so grounded and certain and

loving and knowing in yourself that who you are, what you're creating, what you're doing,

is the version of you that you're continuing to grow into.

What do I mean by this? If you're sitting in a space of like, I hate

my life, I'm not where I want to be.

This sucks.

I'm doing something different this year.

That comes from a complete lens of lack.

That is not the identity of the person who has

set massive goals for the year.

So it comes down to anchoring into yourself first,

leading from a grounded space and feeling like, what I have right now,

I'm proud of myself, and I know that I can do more.

I know that I can build more.

So when it comes to this,

we are wanting to set goals that our identity can be calibrated to.

Okay? So vision boards, they don't fail because your

goals are wrong or because they're not good enough or because the vision board doesn't

work.

But if your identity doesn't change, it won't

match the board.

Now, one quick thing about the board, if you've listened to this, you've heard this

before.

Please do not put pictures on your board of other people,

okay? They're not you.

I want.

It needs to be you.

You have to be able to see it through your own eyes and see yourself in the picture.

Both have to happen, associated and dissociated.

That's how our brain starts to feel and understand that this is who I am and this is

what's happening.

Okay? Without identity work, you know what happens.

I can tell you.

But you already know because you've lived it.

I know you have,

because we're all striving and continuing to move forward.

Without identity work, you will self sabotage primarily from a way of self protection.

You will revert to old patterns.

You won't see opportunities that don't match

your self image.

So if you have an opportunity that comes up

and it's like an incredible opportunity for something that you can do,

you can build, you can have.

If your self image doesn't match that,

immediately your message is like, well not yet.

Like that's crazy.

I can't do that yet.

Your nervous system won't feel safe to hold what you're expanding into.

So I have an opportunity that's come up in the last two months and it is for my coaching

certification.

Outspoken,

funny story,

but the way it unfolded almost three years ago, two and a half years ago,

it was unconventional.

I actually went a different route.

I didn't use the board certified way of doing it because of my own personal preference.

Another story.

And as a result I actually have been approached by a company who is looking at

bringing this program on board with their programs and we're still working out details

but the opportunity is unreal.

Wouldn't have existed before.

And I'll tell you, when the opportunity first came up, immediately I felt myself contract

and it was like, holy ****, can I do that? Like can I actually do that?

Can I bring it to that many more people? Can it become global?

And all of a sudden I could feel all these parts of myself contracting in fear and I was

like, oh, interesting.

That's because my identity,

I don't see myself identity wise as the version of me who can do that yet see the

language yet.

So I did work on me first and then I responded, that's a really key piece.

Without identity work, you will self sabotage, self protect.

You'll revert to old patterns.

You won't see opportunities that match your

self image because you don't see that as aligned.

And your nervous system won't be able to hold the expansion.

So your subconscious doesn't follow what you want.

It actually follows what you are.

It follows who you are.

It is always responding to you.

Always.

Your subconscious mind is responding to you.

If you're like immediate contraction, I can't

do that.

Your subconscious mind is right.

Oh, you want evidence of when you can't do that.

Just a second, let me get it.

And that's what it does.

Next piece.

Your identity shapes your sensory reality.

And what does this mean? Sensory?

In NLP we call this vak.

Okay, Visual, auditory and kinesthetic.

Why does that matter?

Because visual Auditory and kinesthetic make up our own internal representation,

how we see the world.

Okay, how we see the world.

So our identity dictates what you see, what you hear and what you feel.

And it's really important that we embody and work with our internal representation,

because that's exactly why.

Have you ever met or had two siblings or two

people who grew up in the same house, two friends?

You have the exact story, exact same circumstances,

and they still see the world differently.

Right?

There's an old story of the two brothers who grew up with, like,

abusive, addictive parents.

And when they were older, they were interviewed.

One was a lawyer and one was in prison.

And when they asked them, why did you do this?

Like, how did you become this version of you?

Both of their answers were, you saw what we grew up in.

So two people can see the exact same thing and still see it differently.

And this is why, bringing in your vak, your visual, auditory and kinesthetic will shape

how you see the world.

It'll change your internal representation,

and that will help you to change your identity.

Because remember, your identity is the deepest,

deepest part of your system, Your whole subconscious mind, your system and how you see

the world.

So if your identity,

for example, is that I'm not good enough,

then you'll see proof of it everywhere.

If your identity is like, I'm the kind of

woman who follows through.

I'm the kind of woman who gets **** done.

I'm resourceful,

you will see different opportunities.

If your identity is, I trust myself, I've got myself, I feel safe within myself.

You feel grounded and certain, even when there's uncertainty.

If your identity is that I do feel safe,

whether things are working out or not,

that will show up as well.

You know, one of my clients said, I feel safe

when the money's coming in.

I'm like, great, that's amazing.

What happens when it's not.

That is an identity.

The identity is the filter.

It's how you see the world.

It's the instructions you give your nervous

system.

And the identity becomes the creator of what you see and what you go do.

How you see yourself,

how you see yourself and what you are capable of creating will change your identity, which

will allow you to become in alignment with what you're creating, with what those goals

are.

So identity work, what does it actually look like?

Well, here's an example.

I Money is the easiest way to do it because

people connect to it and they see it, but substitute anything into it.

If you say, I want 100k business instead I am the woman who leads a hundred k business.

The identity generates the behavior of what you're doing.

So when we're in this space,

you want to make it as like all of the sensories, the V A K as much as possible.

What do you see, feel and hear? Not I want a hundred k business.

Instead I am standing in my gifts, in my goals and using my voice and my message to reach

more people,

help more people.

As a result,

it will generate a hundred K or more.

Right?

You have to change the wording a little bit.

So what does she say, what does she speak, how does she show up for herself, what is she

hearing, how does she lead herself?

It's not act as if to fake it till you make it.

It is like setting up and being clear of the identity of the person.

How does she make decisions, how does she think and then work it backwards.

And I thought you said think this, that you have to make this like massive scary leap and

that's how you grow your business.

No, it, no,

because you might.

But what might happen then is your nervous system isn't ready to hold what you're

creating.

Your internal representation, your identity of

how you see yourself does not match the version of you who has this,

what you desire.

So instead,

how can you actually anchor in on making one decision a day, leading yourself differently,

changing your words, catching it on a consistent basis, interrupting an old thought

pattern,

choosing identity level responses,

good boundaries in place, self respect, self leadership.

What are the things,

the micro things that look like they're no big deal to you, but they will add up 10,000 times

more than the really big leap.

I promise you they will.

I'm so good, I'm going to tell you right now, I am so good at catching language.

I can catch you in your language.

I can ask you a question, we can reframe it

and move on.

Why can I do this?

Because I've had a lot of practice.

Because my language was actually absolute ****

a decade ago.

It was so bad that I had to rework with a ton

of reps.

And I can tell you honestly,

all of those baby steps that felt like I was doing nothing,

they transformed me language wise in ways that I know I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing

today if it wasn't for that work.

So those tiny baby steps, they don't look like

much, but they're huge.

Now,

as we're building out this identity in these baby steps, what do you see?

Feel in here? We're putting this together.

Your identity can't hold it.

If your nervous system doesn't feel safe to do

it.

So that's the next question.

All right, amazing.

You want the 100k year.

You want to help 20 clients.

That's amazing.

That version of you.

What does she see, feel, and hear? Okay, great.

We're clear on that now.

It happens tomorrow.

How do you feel?

I love asking this question.

And people are like, oh, not yet, not yet.

I'm like, okay, great.

What's locking you?

What's holding, holding you back?

Probably your nervous system freaked out a little bit, it contracted.

And because of that, you will block yourself from opportunities and possibilities.

So instead, how can you slow your system down?

How can you breathe and anchor in?

How can you associate growth and expansion in your business with safety?

How can you anchor that in? How can you build capacity?

How can you see how you've already built capacity?

And all of these things will help your nervous system to hold what you are creating?

Then next,

your language, the words that you're using, is everything right.

I am trying.

No, I'm doing right.

I am becoming.

I am, I am is one of the strongest things that you can take.

Speak in present tense as though it's already done.

Not speaking in terms of I am going to do,

I will have.

That's all future tense.

Speak as though it's already done.

The fastest tool for subconscious rewiring is your language.

It is literally your language, the words that you are speaking.

And do you know who can control that? That'd be you.

That's you.

That's.

You're the one that can control that.

And if not, start with what is the one thing that you say that is not supporting you in the

direction that you want to move in? And how can you shift that?

How can you catch it? Interrupt the pattern, Ask yourself if it's

true.

Is it really true?

Where is there evidence of the opposite? And then can you rewrite it in a new,

empowering way?

So the identity first version,

putting identity as a top priority of visioning,

Ask. Instead of saying, what do I want?

How about this? Who do I choose to be this year?

What am I creating this year?

How am I going to lead myself this year? What does that look like?

What do I see, feel, and hear?

Your vision board is a mirror of your identity.

That's what you want it to be.

It's an activation and a mirror of your

identity.

It's like a bridge from where you are right

now, where you're going,

but there's a bridge to get there,

right? There's a bridge that feels like you are on

your way.

If you're somebody who has not, for example,

been actively health and fitness taking care of yourself, and you put on your vision board

that you want to go to the CrossFit games, for example, or you want to go compete in the

Olympics,

your brain literally looks at it and says, you're a liar.

Because that's just.

There's no bridge there.

Instead,

how can you build the bridge that is Identity Work in process okay,

if your identity is grounded and unbothered,

this is really important.

You will not chase shiny objects.

You will not get distracted and pulled off.

You will not fall into comparison.

You won't panic and feel unsafe when things

aren't happening in the way that you think that they're supposed to.

And you won't collapse under pressure.

You just won't.

You know who you're becoming, and you're in that process of becoming.

So this year,

please, there's a lot in this episode,

and I've just given you kind of the outline of what I'm gonna be teaching at the High Vibe

event this year.

We're not just setting goals.

We're becoming the version of ourselves who can hold it, sustain them, and expand beyond

them.

Like, well beyond them.

Right? You can quantum leap.

I'm telling you, you can.

If you do the identity work first,

you seal up any of the cracks in the foundation of your belief in yourself.

You focus on what you see, feel and hear.

You embody the identity of the person who already has it.

That's how you lead yourself.

You can become the version of you who can hold them, sustain them, and expand beyond them.

Your identity is the strategy, the blueprint, and it is honestly how you step into that

future version of yourself.

It is all available.

All of it is available for you, I promise.

I cannot wait to hear how this episode lands.

And I have so much goodness coming this year.

I'm so grateful for you for being a part of this show, for helping me to share it, for

putting it out there and just allowing me to continue to do the work that I know I am here

to do.

I appreciate you so much.

Have an incredible day.

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Own youn Choices, Own youn Life.

If you love this episode, I invite you to tag me on social media with your takeaways or

share it with a friend.

Please. If you Feel called, take 30 seconds to leave a five star review and I will be forever

grateful.

Until next time, Remember, when you own your

choices, you truly own your life.