Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:00:00 So much of my motherhood journey has been a lesson of surrender, and so I was very much able to go inward and really be in that primal brain, literally up until the point of crowning. And then he was in my arms, and it was the craziest, most surreal experience of my life.

Erica Boland 00:00:50 Hey, loves, I'm Erica.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:00:51 And I'm Brit. She's a chiropractor and midwife.

Erica Boland 00:00:54 And she's a nurse practitioner and womb healer. Together we are bridging the sacred and the scientific to help you step into deeper alignment with the incredible wisdom of your body.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:01:05 We are mothers, soul sisters, and women who are deeply devoted to serving the feminine collective. There is no topic we aren't open to exploring, and we are so looking forward to navigating this journey with you and our amazing guests.

Erica Boland 00:01:19 So settle in, preferably with a great cup of coffee.

Erica Boland 00:01:22 Put one hand on your heart and breathe as we dive in.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:01:26 Welcome to our community. Hello everyone! We are so.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:01:32 Excited to welcome you to another episode of the Womb Women podcast. Before we get started, we are going to just drop in like we do. So I invite you to close your eyes or soften your gaze if that is comfortable. If you're driving, just allow your neck and your shoulders to soften. See if you can roll your shoulders away from your ears and just really allow yourself to land here right now. We're going to be together for just about 30 minutes. So we really want you to take this opportunity just to connect deeply with your body, with your breath, and just kind of try to find some space to down regulate your nervous system for just a little bit today. So as you breathe here, see if you can allow the breath to really wash down your spine, opening up the back of your throat, the back of your lungs, and just really noticing any places in your body where you feel like you're holding tension.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:02:42 Can you meet them without any judgment, but just notice and see if you can use your breath to create just a little more softness, a little more spaciousness, even if it's just 10%. And on this next breath, allowing the breath to move all the way down into your pelvic bowl. So you're bringing your awareness to your tailbone, your pubic bone, your hips, and seeing if you can really tune in to the expansion that happens when you take a nice deep inhale. Just making so much room for your uterus, your ovaries, your bowels. Just creating all that space in the pelvic bowl. We carry so much in our womb space and our pelvic bowl. So by bringing our awareness here, a lot can come up. So just notice any sensations, any emotions, any thoughts that are present for you. And my invitation right now is just to meet them just as they are. You don't have to label them as good or bad. Can you just be here with your breath and allow whatever is present for you to come? And then if it feels good, placing one hand on your heart and just sending your body a little bit of extra love today for all that she does, for how she carries you through the world.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:04:32 And when you're ready, go ahead and flutter. Open your eyes and come meet us for today's conversation.

Erica Boland 00:04:47 Good morning.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:04:49 Good morning.

Erica Boland 00:04:50 Happy birthing day.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:04:52 Oh thank you. I am posted up outside you guys in our new home, which is so magical. And I'm listening to we have a flock of wild turkeys that's running around in the back, and just tons of birds and trees are rustling, and it's really magical. And I'm just kind of soaking it in because today is my baby's fourth birthday and it feels like a really big day.

Erica Boland 00:05:15 It is a big day. I can't believe he's four. That's wild to me. Yeah. Okay, so for this season, this renewal of the Womb Women podcast, Britt and I were chatting via text a little bit and I thought, yeah, we need to hear Locke's birth story. We need to open this season with a birth story. And I love Locke's Worth Story. So, Brit, will you jump into that? And then we can talk a little bit about what it means to celebrate your youngest milestones? Yeah.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:05:49 Yeah, definitely.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:05:50 Well, I.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:05:51 Always love telling lock story back before we even conceived him because it's pretty magical. So in 2019, we very suddenly lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. And that was in June. And Chad and I had been talking about trying to get pregnant again at some point that fall, because our then youngest at the time was turning two, and I was getting paranoid about birth spacing, as you know, as some of us do, and my first 2 or 19 months apart. So I was just worried about having a larger age gap. But as I was moving through the grief of losing my dad, I was overcome with a lot of anxiety and I had horrible insomnia. And so I had to really get honest about the fact that I was not physically or emotionally in a place where it would have been healthy to conceive. At that time, I just, I don't think my body could have handled it. So during that time, I really went deep into my morning meditation practice and I started using meditations, actually from the book Spirit Babies.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:06:59 If you guys are not familiar with that, it's a really amazing resource, especially if you've had any kind of loss or you're having trouble conceiving. It's a really beautiful opportunity to really start to connect into your intuition and even tune into the energy of the baby you're calling in. So anyway, I was doing his meditations and I started asking every morning like, baby, you just tell me when you're ready to come. Because I kind of am at a loss right now, and I just want to tune in and see what comes through, and I will never forget it. It was in October of 2019, very clearly. One morning I hear this boy saying, mom, I'm coming in January. And I even texted my midwife and I was like, just, you know, I'm gonna get pregnant in January, so make sure you put me on your books. Because if any of y'all are not familiar, like especially in our part of the country, home birth midwives like fill up quick so you got to like let them know immediately, you know, when you get pregnant or even before.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:07:56 And we ended up conceiving in January just like I had felt was going to happen. And so that was really, really magical. And of course then that was the winter time of 2020. So I was very newly pregnant when we went into Covid lockdowns. So my pregnancy with Locke really took me on this deep, sacred spiritual journey. And during that time, I was doing a lot more body work, which was not typical for my practice, but it really felt like it was something that I was called to do and it felt really aligned. And so I'm pregnant with this baby. We're in the middle of this global pandemic. Everybody is terrified of each other and terrified of what's going to happen. And I'm working on all these women who are trying to get pregnant, and I start getting these, like, divine messages coming through. And at first I think I'm going a little crazy from the pregnancy brain, but I'm literally working on women and hearing these things come through and telling myself, you know, you can't say that out loud.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:08:58 This poor woman is going to think you're crazy. And if I wouldn't say it, Locke would start kicking me like incessant kicking until I would verbalize whatever was coming through for me. And every single time it was exactly what that woman needed to hear. And so I started thinking about this. I'm like, This pregnancy is like unlocking this new level of depth for me. This is really cool. And I start getting messages like, from him, he would show me like images of water all the time. And so I started to really feel like he was asking me to name him like a water name. And you know, my poor husband was like, you cannot name our child ocean, so you're going to have to come up. You're gonna have to come up with another name, because for a while there, I mean, his name was going to be Ocean Blue. Like we were really going to go for it. And my husband was just like, we cannot go quite that hippie. So yeah, I actually was thinking about the name Lachlan, and I didn't actually call him that until he was about to be born, which was really, really cool.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:10:06 It just sort of like came out of my mouth and then that was his name. But anyway, with him, I went into labor earlier then with my previous babies. I went into labor at 39 and five with my first and almost 42 weeks with my second. And so when I started to have like contractions and early labor signs at, you know, just over 38 weeks, I was really surprised. But I figured I would just have several days of prodromal labor, which was pretty typical for me. And, you know, I had hired Erika to be my doula because I was really nervous about birth, even though I had done it before. You know, we had had two previous home birth attempts and transferred to the hospital both times. The first time resulted in a C-section and a NICU stay, and the second time I got my V back. But it was still, you know, not the ideal scenario, having to be thrown in the back of the car after having pushed for three hours at home.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:11:03 So I had kind of resigned myself to the idea that I would be having another hospital birth, and because it was Covid, my midwife just asked if I would be willing to try at home because we didn't know what the situation would be once we got to the hospital. Or, you know, when we got to that point and, you know, she was like, you've already done the transfer thing, you know, you can handle it. Let's just try. I really think this baby's coming at home. And I mean, even as I'm pushing him out, I didn't truly believe that he was going to be born at home until he was in my arms. But anyway, I went into labor. I had coached a class all morning, and my middle son had a pediatrician appointment. His well check that day and I was really crampy and we came home and I was pretty crampy the whole afternoon, but again, didn't really believe it could possibly be, you know, go time. And I ended up kind of laboring all night, like early labor.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:11:56 And my middle son is very, very attuned to energy. So he actually labored with me all night long. He would take little naps in between contractions with me. And then, you know, we would wake up together and he would be rubbing my back. And finally, around two in the morning, I went and woke my husband up and just asked him if he would help me make the bed and like, waterproof everything just in case, because my previous active labors had really started with my water breaking like a big, you know, gush of fluid. And then it was really intense contractions after that. So I was kind of anticipating that was going to happen as well. So he did that. And I continued to have, you know, off and on contractions all night long. And I think it was around seven in the morning. I got up to use the bathroom and I'm sitting in there and I told him, like, you know, I really feel like the contractions are going to stop as soon as the sun really comes up.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:12:53 And as soon as I said that, I had two massive back to back contractions, and I looked at him and I was like, no, this is this is it. You gotta call the midwife. So from there, I got into my tub. I didn't even have time to set up the birth tub. I just got into my regular bathtub and put the water, you know, on, and basically stayed there for the next couple of hours. I think Locke was actually born around 10 a.m., so it was pretty quick after that point. But like I said, even when I was in the water having these full blown contractions, I couldn't allow myself to fully believe that having a home birth was going to be a reality. Yeah. So surreal. And even at the point where I knew it was time to start pushing. I did not believe it. And I there was this moment where he was starting to crown, and I kind of had a panic because I had not actually felt a baby on my perineum until that point, because I had an epidural with both of them.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:13:53 So I'm sitting there thinking like, okay, what would I tell a client at this point? Right? Well, Erica, are you telling me? Cause of course Erica didn't make it because my baby was so early, or I think he missed his birth by, like, two days, right?

Erica Boland 00:14:07 I think it was one, because I remember we were at a golf outing that day, and you messaged me a picture of him, and I was like, what? What happened?

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:14:18 Yep. So I pushed him out super, super slow and steady. It took me like 40 minutes to push him out because I was like in the zone. And I actually at one point that he kind of got a little bit stuck. I mean, I was in a normal bathtub, so I didn't have a lot of space in there, so we had to pull up the full on Gaskin maneuver where I, like, swung my leg over the tub and got on all fours and pushed him out. And, you know, one more push after that.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:14:43 Yeah. And then he was in my arms and it was like the craziest, most surreal experience of my life.

Erica Boland 00:14:49 Oh, okay. So tell me a little bit more about, you know, I think a lot of our audience is also some form of bird worker. So tell me a little bit more about that mentality while you're in it and still trying to be your own advocate. And so like that primal brain and thinking brain all at once and seeing where you were now looking back.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:15:15 Yeah, honestly, I think I had done a lot of work up to that point because of course, you know, with your first baby, especially if you do this work like it's almost impossible to turn that piece off. And so I've had this conversation multiple times this week with patients. So much of my motherhood journey has been a lesson of surrender, and I had to learn that lesson over and over and over again. And so it really like I was very much able to go inward and really be in that primal brain, literally up until the point of crowning, because it was such a new sensation for me.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:15:52 Yeah. And then all of a sudden I felt like I got pulled back into my thinking brain. But, you know, it's interesting for me in birth, like, I don't really like to be touched. I don't really like a lot of support. I mean, I want people in the room or like, you know, nearby, but I really don't want to be touched. I don't want you, you know, rubbing my low back. I don't want counter pressure and anyone messing with my hips, like, unless, you know, I'm having trouble with positioning or something, I really want to go inward and I just like to be isolated a little bit. My own little bubble, which is, you know, everybody's different and you don't necessarily know that until you're in it. So it's really important to have the people around you who can really tune into that. And they kind of have their bag of tools, but they have enough experience to know, like when mom needs you to put hands on her and when she needs you to really just hold space.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:16:43 And that's what I needed. Absolutely. And really, you know, you didn't make it so you would have been another part of our team. But, you know, I had a midwife and then her nurse and Chad. Yeah. And then Greg would come in and out and check on me, you know, during that whole process. But oh my.

Erica Boland 00:16:57 Gosh, great. Yeah.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:16:59 I didn't have like a massive team. And oh my gosh, gray is like all about it. He would sit on the midwife's lap and just, you know like stroke. He was like stroking my chest at one point. And he's just as sweet as can be. Really enjoyed the process.

Erica Boland 00:17:12 So yeah. And I think that you are the queen of holding space. So I love how you said that though, because the way that you talk about it, it gives us permission, which we don't need, but sometimes we think we do to show up and birth as we need to, and you don't know until you're in it.

Erica Boland 00:17:34 And so then when you are in it, it's okay to say, I don't want anyone to touch me. I remember with our first, I use the example of Kyle feeding me ice chips, which were making me throw up, but I just wanted him to be able to do something productive because I felt so bad for him. And in hindsight, you're like, what? Yeah, but there's this for a lot of women, this in and out from that primal like surrender, that ultimate surrender. And I think sometimes only in retrospect can you really see the times when you were in deep surrender, in the times where you're kind of like coming out of both a little bit and just learning to practice that. And when you can get more in touch with that on this side of birth, as a mother, as a parent, whatever, it's like, yeah, that's the only way of it that I've found so far. Surrender in those lessons we.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:18:25 Can render.

Erica Boland 00:18:26 Surrender on learning.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:18:28 But I think too.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:18:29 I mean, I had an amazing birth team every time, but there's such a stark difference when you go into the hospital, it's just and, you know, I literally have had every kind of birth. So I appreciate having these experiences. I feel like it's been such a gift because I can really speak to all of it. And I think that it's really helpful for other women to hear. Yeah, but from my perspective, I mean, I would the home birth experience was just so incredibly because I didn't have people poking and prodding me and asking me questions and taking me out of that. To your point, that primal brain over and over, I literally had a midwife and the nurse sitting on the floor watching me. Yeah. And just there and like, quiet and just holding me in such beautiful energy. And that's just not what happens in the hospital. There's the constant need for, you know, the clinical piece of right your vitals and checking on baby. And it's just it's hard to stay in that.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:19:30 And it's not to say it's impossible. Like of course I've backed but it's really hard. Yeah.

Erica Boland 00:19:34 And I think when I am in conversation with couples or women about what the best place mentally to be for labor, for pregnancy, for conception is really curiosity. And I think that that theme is across your story that you share, because how amazing that you stayed curious enough to wonder, okay, what will this time be like? Instead of, oh, I have to have this baby in the hospital because I have had two babies, you know, and I've heard you share your story different times and what you were feeling on the inside. You know, not everybody will know, but just the way that you talk about it, I can tell that you had this deep curiosity still. And I see time and time again that there are all sorts of extremes and all sorts of expectations that we put on ourselves, and that can happen in or out of the hospital. In assuming that because we can do or that we can do any amount of preparation childbirth, ed class, exercise, meditation, prayer, I mean, the list goes on and on that we are in control of.

Erica Boland 00:20:45 The outcome is false, is just not. That is not the way of it. And we're human. So we want all of this control. So I just think it's super powerful that these are your birth stories and you still stayed curious. And you are. Yeah. What a gift to be able to share and relate to other women that have been there and know more how to support them because of the experiences that you've had.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:21:15 And I also want to share that, especially women who maybe are more naturally minded or are really hopeful to have a low intervention birth experience. There's so much pressure and it's both external because there's like standards that like people have set, which is insane because this is such an individual experience. But then we just put so much pressure on ourselves to and have this idea of how everything's supposed to go. And of course, like I said, you know, I had to throw a lot of that out the window. But one thing that was really interesting about Locke's birth is I had so much more discomfort after birth than even really in labor and and even pushing, which was so interesting to me to experience.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:22:00 So, you know, once I birthed him, we pretty quickly got me out of the tub because I tend to bleed quite a bit. I have with all of my babies. So we knew that we were well prepared for that. And, you know, I had to get a little pitocin. I think I want to say I got pitocin this time too, just because I do bleed quite a bit. And so we get into the bed and I am having so many after pains and so much discomfort and then trying to get the placenta out. And so I was so kind of in that fight or flight from being uncomfortable, like I couldn't have him on my chest, like, you know, and that's what you hear. You're supposed to have a baby immediately to chest. It's golden hour and all this stuff. And so I was really proud of myself for saying, like, he cannot be on me right now. Like he needs to go to Chad. And so he went skin to skin with dad for like the first two hours of his life.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:22:49 And I will tell you, like for their bonding experience was so powerful, so cool. Like and I could see it immediately in my husband, which he hadn't got to experience that before. And it was really, really cool to let him have that. And that's exactly what I needed. Like, yes, I did not have him back on my chest. It was probably a solid two hours and I definitely I asked for Motrin. I asked for all of the herbs because I was in much more pain than I had anticipated, and that's what I needed. And I gave myself permission to ask for that and not just try to like, you know, grin and bear it and just stick it out.

Erica Boland 00:23:28 Yeah, those involution pains are so intense. And for myself too, with my third, those after pains were far worse than labor, far worse, and which nobody.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:23:40 Tells you about.

Erica Boland 00:23:41 No one prepared me for that. So I yeah, I remember sitting nursing him because obviously nursing will increase them for those first few days anyway.

Erica Boland 00:23:51 And I remember sitting in our recliner in our little Davenport house and my like, nails and fingers just dug into the chair like, oh my gosh, what is this? Holy cow. Yeah. And I is similarly with the fourth. And then I have heard that they get worse for subsequent babies up until about the fourth baby, and then they just kind of stay that intense? I don't know, because I haven't had more than four babies, which is a good segue to talk about how different I laugh because the boys are like, oh, Maclin so spoiled in three quarters of Macklin, our youngest, being spoiled are his brothers spoiling him? And the other quarter is, yeah, it's different when, you know, it's the last baby. The last baby. Yeah. It's different. Yeah it is. Did you know during pregnancy.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:24:40 I had to fight really hard to get a third baby. That actually was really trying to talk me out of it. That when my dad got sick, he goes, do you want to try to have another baby right now? I'm like, no, I don't, but that's sweet, but I'm going to hold you to this later because I just knew.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:24:57 I mean, I really thought we were gonna have four at one point in my life, and I'm very happy, you know, with my three. But I have kind of come to the realization that I would keep having newborns over and over and over. I love the newborn phase, so it's probably good that my husband has the awareness that, oh, we're actually done. So we had had lots of conversations about it so I could like, prepare for it. And still, you know, there's a grief process that has to take place.

Erica Boland 00:25:25 Absolutely. I think for us it was actually funny. So you would think that one would know so much about their cycle and everything. By the time that they have had three children and a miscarriage. But I started to actually want to learn more about my cycle and track myself, and assumed that I had a 28 day cycle. And I have found actually that each spring my cycle shortens for like a month or two. And so I started tracking my cycle and week at Macklin that same month.

Erica Boland 00:26:00 But I knew with him that he would be our last after our third. It was kind of like, well, let's wait a while and see. And then, you know, but I knew he would be our last. And even during the pregnancy. And I'm someone that loved pregnancy and the newborn. Stage 100%. Just feeling baby movements from the inside and thinking, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna feel this again. It's like wild. It's so wild. And it's a choice, of course, and it's just different than you realize. I think it brought me a lot more to presents because you realize how fast these times go, especially when you have older children. So I think that the older kids actually helped put it into perspective for me in a way that I don't know if we were, you know, if we were just going to have one baby. And I knew that that was I don't know if it would have been the same. Probably not. But you just realize how and now.

Erica Boland 00:26:51 So what's wild to me now is our oldest is 17, which is still like so weird to say. And our youngest is eight and a half, which is how old our oldest was when our youngest was born. So to think about having three more kids, but to look at how old Terrance seemed at eight, and how young Maclin seemed at eight. Yes. Do you feel that?

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:27:16 I do, but I think that's also a first born thing, I think. Born babies are just naturally older souls, and they are just, you know, because they're around the adults and they typically are not around kids. Like, they kind of just adopt the behaviors and characteristics of little adults. And I feel like Chad and I are both oldest children as well. And I definitely feel that with us. But yeah, it is really wild.

Erica Boland 00:27:42 Yeah. Well, so how are you feeling today?

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:27:45 I am feeling a little sad because I feel like at four you're definitely no longer like a baby. Like three still feels like a baby to me, but I actually.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:27:56 So I was gone over the weekend. I was gone for like, three days, and I came home. And I swear Locke is using, like, more complex sentences and pronouncing words more clearly. He's losing that little like, baby lisp situation that we've had. And I got super sad about it. I was like, wait a second, where did my baby go? And he's in the middle of a growth spurt. So all of a sudden all of his sweet little baby rolls are like disappearing. And he's getting, like, taller and, like, more muscular. And I am just like, oh my gosh, this is yeah, this is happening.

Erica Boland 00:28:31 Yeah. And it's so quick.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:28:33 Oh, and I do feel like especially in pregnancy because it was Covid and we kind of were in our own little bubble. Like, I am so grateful that I had I'm glad I, you know, I wasn't pregnant with my first baby because I can't imagine the anxiety that that would have provoked. But I was very tuned in to what I needed, and I really allowed myself to just go inward.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:28:56 And it was just it was like me and him in a sense. Yeah. And because of that, I was just very yeah, I was just tuned in the whole pregnancy and really allowing myself to cherish every moment and every. I mean, I did not cherish the first like 20 weeks and I was super sick. And yeah, I do this again. But after that I just really felt like I was super present, which unfortunately was definitely not the case with my second baby because I was chasing a toddler around. And you know, I have guilt or some grief about that. So I was really intentional about being super present for lock's pregnancy and birth. And, you know, I tell everybody that I finally got postpartum, right with the third one. You know, Erica missed birth, but was our postpartum doula for a week after, which was incredible. And I was just so careful about how I navigated that whole year postpartum. And even now, I feel like I'm just really coming out of postpartum.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:29:57 And I was super intentional about it.

Erica Boland 00:30:00 Yeah. Which makes sense, because, yeah, usually four years is around the time when we actually start to heal or not. Yeah, but I think you've done a really good job of being intentional. Okay. So do you have any birthday plans for the two of you today?

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:30:15 I actually bought him a little birthday candle. It's a little Libra candle that's got crystals in it. So we'll do a little ceremony. And he actually just started a fully outdoor preschool this year. So then there for a few weeks and they're going to do a whole like celebration with him today. Like a little ritual, which I'm super excited about.

Erica Boland 00:30:37 Oh, awesome.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:30:38 My entire family flew in from California last night, so we'll get to celebrate this.

Erica Boland 00:30:43 Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you for sharing your story.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:30:47 Thank you. And thank you all for tuning in. We are so excited to kick this back off and be with you and share more stories and welcome more incredible guests.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:30:59 And we just really look forward to more and more to come.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:31:05 Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of the Womb Women Podcast.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:31:09 We are thrilled you joined us today and hope you found the conversation as inspiring as we did. To connect with us further, follow me Britt on Instagram at @thebrittestrada, and Erika @themovementmidwife.

For more information on how to work with us, check out our websites linked in the show notes. We can't wait to have you join us for the next episode, but until then, we invite you to step into your power and embrace the wisdom of your body. Bye for now.

Brittany Estrada Anderson 00:31:50 Just as a reminder of the information shared here is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your health care provider for any medical questions or concerns.