I can feel my voice starting to crack. Start my music. Is that a joke? You're sounding like all of us now. Let me clear my throat. Welcome to your late 30s, Greg. No, welcome to your mouth. You don't have a voice. You just sound like you. Welcome to your mouth. Welcome in, everybody.
It's the Craft family. Welcome in, everybody. It's the Craft Beer Republic.
Thanks for drinking. Thanks for joining. I am Greg, aka Flex's mom's best friend, and I am being joined by my best friend, Son Flex. What's up, buddy? Ain't nobody tongue jobber like I tongue jobber. You're not wrong there.
That tongue jobber and those symmetrical nips. So so hot. She's just jealous that she doesn't have the symmetrical nips that Flex does. That's beer girl Melissa. I mean, the world may never know.
That's true. I'm just talking about names. Names and nips. Mel's nips are like Tootsie Pops. Just call me Melips. Oh, dear. What a start we are off to.
And goodbye. Yes. It's been good. Good night, everybody. Find us all on the socials. Beer girl underscore Melissa. Flex Beer Beer underscores in between. And of course, Craft Beer Republic, soon to be changed to Flex's mom's best friend. Let's do it.
Yeah. With underscores, of course. In between all the things. All the things. She makes a mean manicotti. Let me tell you. I'll be right over. My mom doesn't cook. She's using jarred sauce. Don't even try it. I know she is.
Right. I'm not going to argue that at all. She's fucking 100 percent Polish. Why is she going to make her own red sauce? I don't know, but I met someone the other day at Scottsdale Craft. Did she have a turkey course? Which is one of my favorite places to go.
And she was really proud of herself because she made sauce. And I said, oh, all right. You made chicken parm. And I'm like, how long did it take you? She was like, eight hours. I said, how long did the sauce take you? And she was like, I'm sorry. I said, it took you eight hours to make chicken parm.
And how long did the sauce take you? She's like, I opened it. She's like, well, I had to hand it to my husband. So it took like 30 seconds. In all fairness, she was like 23. And she also is Eastern European. I get it. I was like, well, I'm going to teach you how to do it. Daddy.
Are they known for not making their own sauces or something? I don't think like people that are in Italian care so much. That's 100% accurate. When I'm getting fancy, though, I make my own sauce. We buy the Rouse, the R-A-O-S. That's really expensive.
But yeah, that is if I had to buy something on the shelf, that it would probably be Rouse. You can't get a reservation at that place. It's very insane. Oh, it's like a restaurant. It's an immaculate restaurant. You can't get a reservation. There's people that have memberships there.
And so if you're lucky enough to know somebody that does, they might give you their table where you can go in. But like other than that, like you can't get into the restaurant. Like Club 33. Yeah. What if I flash them? Maybe. Then absolutely. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe.
Maybe. Like, oh, my God. So fucking symmetrical. Come on in. We got to name a dish after these symmetrical nibbles. I'm going to call it pepperoni flick. You know, I recently now turned into a fucking pasta podcast, but I recently made my own
Alfredo sauce for the first time. I just never done it. And I went to make something. I was like, fuck, we're out of Alfredo. I was like, well, how hard can it be? And so I just looked it up real quick. I was like, oh, that's pretty fucking easy. Yeah. Knocked it out. Buy a brick of cheese.
Melt the cheese. No. Not quite. But it was like pretty easy and a million times better than the jar. So much better. I talked her up the jar, but I was like, oh, this is night and day. And I started talking like an Italian. It was weird. Bibbidi-bobbidi.
Did you sound like Lou when you just came out? My kids the other day asked me if I spoke Italian, and I said, bibbidi-bobbidi. They were like, wow, Dad. They said, what does that mean? And I said, bobbidi-boobbidi. Super impressed by you.
Now for the dad jokes. Oh, it just made me laugh so hard. Because I actually thought I was speaking Italian. And then they went to school and they were like, do you know my dad speaks Italian? He taught me bibbidi-bobbidi. And their friends are like, what? And they were like, bobbidi-boobbidi. Like, your dad's an idiot.
Just next time when they ask you if you speak Italian, say, hey, how you doing? Done. Yeah. Give me some gyros. Never going to get old. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian. I was Italian.
I was Italian. I was Italian. Never going to get old. You got to get your wife to get in on a joke and say, yeah, we speak Italian. And then just randomly say some stupid shit like, a bibbidi-bobbidi. Your wife just like, oh, yeah, I'll get it in a second. Just has to respond totally. I never even thought about that. You got to fuck with the kids.
And I'm not even Italian. I'm Polish. And I like two Polish words. And one is beer. How do you say beer? What's beer? Pivo. Or Piva. Piva. OK. OK. I don't know. But it's pronounced Piva.
Piva. I see. Got it. Good to know. So, hey, you learn something new every day. Yeah. If I find myself in a Polish bar. Yeah. It's the Craft Piva Republic podcast. Yeah. Welcome in. Da. Yeah.
Maybe we'll chart in Poland. Fingers crossed. Still got the Slovakians and the Finnish. So Poland, here we come. Not far away. Let's go. Let's go. All right. I'm way too sober. Let's fix this. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Flex, do you need medical attention or?
Oh no. I was just trying to stay awake. OK. I am drinking. A Bibbidi Bobbidi. Great notion brewing juice invader. It is a hazy IPA, 7%.
That's a 412 untapped out of over 11,000 ratings. That's a lot of ratings. That's a lot of ratings. Nice and short, they say this Southern Hemisphere IPA is brewed with a massive amount of Galaxy and Vic Secret hops from Australia. Beware, hops are attacking.
This is delicious. As you can see, it's perfectly cloudy. It's not chunky on the sniffer. I get like a, almost like a creamsicle on the nose. Ooh, daddy like. I love that. Reminds daddy of childhood.
Have we ever heard the full version of this song in the background, by the way? I've never heard this part. Oh yeah, I've heard it many a time. Oh, I haven't. Every week. The tongue follows suit, a lot of oranginess, not so much creaminess. Something finishing very like effervescent, especially for a hazy.
I dig it, man. It doesn't sit on the tongue too long. I do like that a lot. Yeah, it's like when it has that medium carbonation. Yeah, it's real crushable. Real nice pound. A couple of these bad boys and you're on your way.
So anyways, cheers to great notion. This is delicious. Yeah, way to go. Great notion. Yeah, not shocked. No, I mean, they're hazies, man. I know, like everyone's like, oh, great notion sours, but it's like, man, get ahold of their fucking hazies. You guys, they're scouts, actually. And they're south.
Yeah, it's are off the chart. They're very underrated when it comes to their stouts. They do some really good stuff. Yeah. What to talk about? Oh, so there's this place out here called Zeff's Barbecue. Z E F. I already like it. Yeah. And it's one of those like hype, like pop up place, wait in the line for hours or book
it weeks in advance, that kind of thing. And I don't I don't sit in line for barbecue and that kind of shit. So they happen to have this like random opening one day. The wife was like, look, there's an opening at Zeff's for the weekend or some barbecue. And so I was like, what do you want?
She's like, I don't know. You choose. And I end up ordering like one of everything. It was over a hundred dollars worth of barbecue. Oh, my God. Any other way, Greg? No, there's not. And let me tell you, I was so afraid there was gonna be like some hype bullshit. It was so good.
So I just wanted to shout out because I've seen them at like breweries around here. It's like loosely related to beer. But God damn, that was good. You know, the best places you go for like barbecue, right? It's the places that smoke everything they do. Yeah. And then they tell you that it like depending on what you order, they may or may not have
it because they're not ready because it's still smoking or it's already sold out. Yeah. That's why you got to like order weeks in advance and you have to reserve a time to come pick it up. Correct. Yeah. Oh, one of the best parts, though, they're fucking pickles.
So God damn good. I love pickles. So our best friends, well, they're lose best friends from childhood and growing up and have become my best friends because I've been with him forever, have like roadside barbecue and they're nationally rated like they're very, very good.
And that is a problem. Like they they really sell out fast and they've expanded significantly. But they're still roadside. Like we're like, are you going to get a location? They're like, no. Like we like working out as in like a little stop or like a like a food truck. They have their place and they have their smoker.
That is a trailer. They bring it home every night because they have to like the meat takes a really long time. It's an 18 hour process. Like the whole family is involved. Like their mom does a lot of like the late night shifts so the boys can sleep. And and they've they've expanded like they have to like mobile trucks, but they try to
stay to their specific area unless they're doing catering. And in the wintertime, they go to Colorado and they work for some very big clients like they'll do other stuff besides barbecue, but they really have become like it's a national name kind of. And they're still roadside, which is fun.
Yeah, it sounds so good. We do. We had barbecue at our wedding. Like we found this barbecue joint and look, everyone's spend so much money on food for weddings and it's never even that good. Like everyone we're talking to catering wise was like 100 bucks a head and all this stuff.
Our barbecue, 17 bucks a person. It was the fucking shit. It was that's the way to go. Yeah. A lot of people do barbecue weddings, but this is kind of gross. I just have to ask because I am the nurse. Does barbecue run right through you? Like I can't fuck with it.
I love their foods really good. I'm just done with it. I can't do it. No, no, no. Like it doesn't. OK, so I'm just going to stop talking. Well that's where I'm at with barbecue. Is it the sauce? Like is it too sugary or something? So how gross can I get?
Can I get gross? I mean, I can cut it out if it's like, okay, well basically I don't want it to smell the same way going out as it does going in. And that's the problem I have with all barbecue and I'm just can't do it. I'm just done. Your body's not even like processing. I don't think I think my body rejects it.
It doesn't stop. Just keeps sliding through. Is it the smoking process? I think maybe. I don't know. I smoked turkey for Chris for Thanksgiving and I just don't even in my house because of the smell. But it's like people love it. It's good stuff.
It's not just theirs. It's all barbecue. So let me just put that out there. It's not my I was going to say, first of all, all barbecue. Apologies to all the listeners that are still hanging on there. But does it matter what meat it is? Is it just anything? All of the stuff. Yeah, everything. Everything.
Let's do all the meat. All of it. All of it. If you covered in sauce, would it be better? I mean, I don't know. I don't love sauce. I mean, I love sauce. Sauce. Sauce. Get it. Barbecue sauces. You know what? I like them all on.
Yeah. But I want the meat to stand out on its own. I don't want to slather it. Yeah. They put all of it. It's a dry rub. And then they put all of their sauces on the side. OK. So that's what I like. Three different kinds. They have their original. They're like spicy. And then they have one other one.
I mean, the sauces are fantastic, but I just can't do it, guys. But not just their barbecue, all barbecue. Well, and listeners out there, you're welcome. We started to make you real hungry with the barbecue. I just ruined it. Snapped you out of that. Keeping you on your diet today. Yeah, exactly. Hashtag you're welcome.
Everyone's pulling over and throwing up right now. Apologies. That's my favorite part about chatting with you guys is like the lack of filter. We could just take it anywhere.
Like it doesn't matter what we're talking about. Yeah. We're just going to. No topics unturned. Yeah. One minute it's flexes round nipples and the next it's Mel's inability to process barbecue. They're round. I fucking get it.
Welcome to the craft beer republic, everybody. Where we talk nipples. AKA barbecue republic. Yeah. Oh, oh, that should be like a spinoff. You could do it. You could go place this with Shannon and get all of the nipples. Yeah, she loves good. You know what? I really turned her on to barbecue.
She was not a big meat eater. People love it. Yeah. And I've really turned that around. Like for Valentine's day, do the whole, uh, not barbecue, but I'll get fillets. She used to not eat steak. That's crazy to me. Yeah. And I was like, wait, where's Shannon from? She's from California. She's from NorCal. Okay.
Well, they don't have a steak there. I'm confused. They do. Here's the problem. Like her family didn't cook it right. Yeah. Were they cooking it stove top? So they just did it like well done? Yeah. They were just like burning the shit out of tri tips and tri tip. You know, you got to cook it perfectly. Otherwise it gets like real chewy. I was like, hold on, let me introduce you to something fantastic.
So I got some fillets and you know, did some fillets the right way for her. And now that's all she ever wants. So like Valentine's day, you know, we do the fillets. I'll make a compound butter for the top and oh yeah, it's good shit. Wow. I'm getting horny just thinking about it.
Wow. I'm a simple guy. I just want a piece of meat and a potato. What kind of meat? Well, usually like a fillet. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Good flair. I love tri tip. Like I know it's a California thing to love tri tip, but God damn. We used to have a smoke shack out here who would do it every now and then.
You got to do it right though. Not everybody does it right. I don't know. It's fucking delicious every time I ate it. Cause very easily it'll overcook and get tough and. I only eat steak like two to three times a year guys. Come on. That's because it doesn't stop. It just keeps going through. No. I don't know if it's the same grease with me and just don't have barbecue stuff.
I must be smoking process. It's gotta be. I just don't eat a lot of red meat. Lou had a high cholesterol. We had to cut that. So it's like a treat. Damn it. Lou fucking Lou. Trying to keep you alive. Love. Yeah. God damn it. Him and his full release shirt.
Yeah. So, all right. Enough food talks. I'm getting hungry over here. Unless anybody had some great Valentine's dinner. I'm starving. Yeah. Valentine's day. I'm so nervous about it. I hate Valentine's day so much. It's the worst. It's the worst. Sucks.
Hate it. I like buying the random flowers throughout the year. Yes. That's what I do. I don't want that. Never. Not in the month of February. You don't want that ever? Flowers? No. I'm going to walk in on a random May 3rd and be like, here's some flowers because I love you. Hey, that's my anniversary.
Oh, I didn't know that. Right on. Nice. Oh, speaking of, not anniversary, but I just had to mention this because it came into my mind now. Greg, just now ago, going to the dick hotel again. Were you really?
Oh yeah. I was taking my beer out. Okay. I did think for a second about what that was. I was like, we're going to need some fucking like reels or videos or whatever of said dick hotel. He's too busy when he's on vacation with the family. I will be going the last week of April.
Okay. We're going back to the dick hotel. I will try and get as many dick reels as possible. Oh yes, please. So we can get them on the devs dick website. Oh yeah. We need them for the website. Devsdicks.com. Yeah. Cause that would be perfect. That would be perfect.
And you'll then by the end of my trip, you'll know all about the dicks. Right. So was it 2021 when you first went to the dick hotel? Yes. Yeah. Yes. It was October. Okay. So it's been like a year and a half. Okay. It's been a year and a half. Yeah.
Okay. So for those, if you're new listener, there's a hotel at Disney world where like everything near the pool looks like a fucking penis. It's the Caribbean beach resort. Yes. Which I thought I stated that, but maybe not. Cause I don't remember the dicks unless you would fucking remember these structures that
were just kind of hanging out in the pool area. Yeah. Really bad. Yeah. Massive. Yeah. Absolutely. And Disney hides dicks in movies sometimes. They did. Like they did not hide it. There's no front. There are zero hidden dicks.
There are so many of them. It's like actually scary. Welcome to our hotel. Here are our dicks. I still remember when you first told us about it and you're like, there's dicks everywhere. I was like, you're full of shit. And then I Googled it.
It was like, Oh my God, there are dicks everywhere. That's the great thing is you just have to Google the Caribbean beach pool or a Caribbean beach resort. And you're going to see just giant dicks. Right all over the place. Yeah. It makes you wonder about Walt Disney.
Like what was he really like, you know, apparently he loves big, big obvious. I mean, yes. Or maybe he hasn't gone there. Maybe he was packing. Who knows? Maybe we need to get her there. We can sponsor her and it'll be like a go fund me trip to big dick land.
Part of this package package will not include park tickets because we just want millions of pictures of all the dicks. I can just imagine her pointing at one of the towers going, I know we love you dirty Deb.
You are amazing. I hope she listens to this. She will. She absolutely will. Am I the only listener? Like I listen religiously every day. We have three listeners. Two of them are in Finland and I'm the other one. Oh shit. My New York is scoring so high. We're in the 25th, 25th percentile. Yeah.
Finland and New York. We know. Hey, all right. So we have four listeners. Don't you count out Slovakia? Oh, sorry guys. Yeah. Maybe seven. Killing over there. Yeah. We shall see. So, all right. Well, I'm, I need like so many dick pictures when you go.
So many dick pics. Give me, give me two months. Just serve him some gin. They'll come flying.
Is that all it takes? I have no idea. Yeah. He's really. Big fan. You and my wife, I can't do the gin. It's so good. I can't touch it since I'm like 17 years old. I might've been 18 or 19 at the time, but I can't touch it.
I feel like you were that cool person. I was like, Oh, Dr. Dre rapped about gin and juice. You know, I'm going to drink juice. Actually not on the street. I mean, I would be that person, but no, actually like all of my girlfriends really like gin.
They loved Bombay Sapphire. And then what was the other one? Like I think the Sapphire agreed with me more. Not be feeder. I used to like steal. Tangerine. They like Tangerine. Tangerine chronic. Yeah. I'm fucked up now. So the one, the one time that I went overboard with it at a bar, um, I had a 36 hour hangover
and I was in my bathroom the whole time and we had a small house and only one bathroom and Louis was just stepping over me. Use the potty. When I finally came to, I was like, what's happening? He was like, you've been in here for like almost two days.
Oh my gosh. No kidding. Not a joke. I wasn't even 21 yet. I said, never touching this stuff again. That was the only thing that I stayed true to in my life. Never touching this again. Never did. We used to buy people on their 21st birthday shots of gin because people hate gin so much.
I liked how it tastes. It just killed me. I almost died that day. It's just vodka. It's not vodka. It's gin. No, it is. It is vodka made out of juniper berries. Yes. Thank you, Greg. Okay. So it's the juniper berry that makes me want to die for life.
First of all, vodka makes me want to die too. But I get along with vodka, Tito specifically. That's strange. The last time I had vodka, we were at a wedding. It's my wife's college friend or whatever. And it was when we were in Asheville. And I made it my life's goal because the groom knew some local brewer and he had two sixtels.
And my life goal that night was to fucking kill those kegs. I achieved the goal a little too quickly and they ran out of good beer and all they had left was a, what's the fucking healthy beer? Michelob Ultra. Thank you. Michelob Ultra. Oh, I was going to say athletic, but they didn't have it back then.
No, no, no. No. Yeah. This is like 2018 or 19. Yeah. So it was either Michelob Ultra or gin was the only spirit they had. And then they ran out of mixers. So I was just drinking straight up gin. And I was like, and then my wife's favorite part of the story is around, everyone left
early. Like the reception started like four by like dinner time. Like people ate dinner and bounced. Like by six o'clock, everyone was gone. It was so weird. That is weird. Yeah. Except for us. Yeah. Like we were partying up. I was killing those kegs and then around like eight, 39 o'clock hits.
And we've been drinking pretty heavy for a few hours now. And it was so bad that I turned to my wife and I said, I'm going to put myself to bed. She goes, what? I was like, I need to put myself to bed or it's going to get bad. She goes, wow. I appreciate you. I'm glad she like recognized that and was okay with that. Yeah.
Oh yeah. She, she'd much rather me go to bed than fucking puke on the dance floor. So, so did that, put myself to bed, almost died on the way back to the hotel room. And I get there and I immediately, well, here, here's how she tells the story. She walks in and as she walks into our bedroom, she sees like shirt, then pants and like then
shoes. It was like a fucking like a, a Jack and Jill breadcrumb trail to the bathroom. Hansel and Gretel. Oh yeah. Hansel and Gretel. There you go. Thank you. Same thing. Yeah. And so she finds me in the bathroom laying on the floor and just boxers and socks.
And she like kind of pokes me. It was like, what's going on? And I guess I turned over, it was like, the floor is so nice and cold. That is a great feeling. Yeah. Well, and it was humid as fuck. We're in Asheville in like May. It's humid and disgusting.
I just wanted to cool down and not throw up. You know, we're talking funny wedding stories. So my wife probably has about 50 drunk stories she can hold against me. Oh yeah. And that's fine.
I think I know this one. And I'm here for this. But me and my wife were together for like two years. We were invited to a cousin's wedding in Minnesota. So we drove up to Minnesota. No, I'm sorry. It was a year and it was the first time she was meeting like my extended family.
So the rest of the A beers. Correct. The A beer family. And there was actually so you know, people are like, oh yeah, it's cocktail hour. Oh yeah. This was actually cocktail hour. Okay.
What did we do there? After that, everything was blackout. You had to pay for. Right. What? Yeah. It's open bar for an hour. Mel, it was legitimately like cocktail hour. Yeah. I've been to a couple of those weddings. Open bar for an hour and then it's up to you. It was horrible. I am not going to a wedding that's not open bar the whole time.
I'm not doing it. Don't invite me. It was fucked up. Do not invite me to that wedding. I went to a dry wedding in 2018. My brother, his girlfriend at the time, one of my cousins and his girlfriend found a liquor store super nearby this country club we were at.
So they went and they got a couple of bottles of Bacardi and those lipped in pink lemonades. They came in like liter bottles. I'm throwing up. I'm going to vomit. Yeah. You ready? You ready for this? Yeah. So they dumped out the two, half of the pink lemonade bottles and they filled the rest
up with the Bacardi and they started passing those around. So my wife just started taking polls of this around my family. I don't know if she was thinking, if she was nervous, if she's like, Hey, I gotta be cool. Like peer pressure. Like she was drinking it?
Like a poll? Like a poll off of the drink? Dude, she was fucking going nuts on it. I thought you were saying poll, like P-O-L-L. I'm like, are you like surveying people? Oh, no, no, no, no. Like P-U-L-L. Like you take a poll of the drink. She was taking hits. Okay, so that's weed. Are you talking about weed? You're talking about the drink. She's taking hits off the drink.
You take a poll of liquor or something like that, right? A swig? I don't think they say that. A sip? No, it's not a sip. A sip implies a low quantity. So she was like, like slamming back a, like a pull of a drink. I've never heard that.
Okay. Well, that's weird. I only know that with weed. So it was like 10 o'clock, right? Yeah, I think so. Prime dance time at this wedding. I'm pretty sure Run DMC was on and we're going nuts. And she looks at me, she goes, we gotta go.
And I'm just, I was kind of bummed out, but I'm like, I got it. I understand. I know this. Cause I've been there. Yep. We gotta leave now. So we get home to the hotel, get her in bed, chilling out.
She actually vomits in her sleep. Oh no. Which was super alarming to me. We put her on our side. She didn't like choke on it. Well I had to get her. I've never not woken up when puke. Me neither. I was waiting for when I died. Cause she didn't.
That was the scary part. So I had to get her to the bathroom so then I could change the sheets of the bed. And she was in the bathroom for like the next five hours and I didn't get a touch of sleep the entire night.
That's like the one story I can ever hold against her. And now she's got a whole collection on you. 2000 stories about you. Yeah. It's a lot. Basically every Monday and Thursday. The guys are always worse. The worst part was, we were up in like the twin cities.
So we would have had to drive through Chippewa Falls where the line in Cooglesbury is. And I told her before the trip, I said, Hey, it would be a really cool thing if we stopped the line in Cooglesbury since we're out this way. We got on the ride home. She couldn't take her face out of her lap because she was so sick.
We had to drive straight through everything and I was so fucking pissed. Oh, I know. But like, she's trying to drink for you. She doesn't want to drink like you want to do these things. She's like, let me be a good wife.
Like, let me be cool. Let me do something he likes. And her body rejects it. She can't tolerate it. Telling her no. No, no, no, no. She's like, never again. She has a headache for like three weeks after she has one cocktail. Oh, wow. Not worth it.
Sounds awful. No, thanks. I used to work with someone like that who would like have, she's allergic. So she'd like have a sip and be drunk, which super jealous. But we go out for her birthday and stuff and I'm like, here, let me buy you a drink. And it was great because I'd buy her a drink and then I got to finish it. She always just take one sip and give it back to me.
She goes, thanks. And I'm like, dang, that's pretty legit. Yeah, that's a good time. So, all right, Flex, let's answer some questions over there. In a world where craft beer is king. A world where muscles are bigger than growlers. Only one tongue can guide us. One man. One tongue. One tongue-jobber. In this world, we must find out. What is Flex drinking?
All right. So I know I put a little shade on the, on the, on the, on the, on the, on the, on the is Flex drinking, all right, so I know I put a little shade on phase three last week.
I get it, but I'm still drinking them this week because it's about almost all I have in my fridge. I said, you have to take a loan out or no, but we did splurge just a touch because I had to, I had to restock my Hayes game, right? So we're drinking the double dry hopped version of their crypted Hayes.
It is a double IPA, 7.7% ABV. It is a double dry hop, double IPA featuring galaxy, Nelson, Sovin, and mosaic hops. So it's funny, you drank some Aussie shit earlier and now we're drinking some galaxy,
Nelson, and addition of the mosaic. The obsession with Nelson continues for me. Oh, I love Nelson. I love it. And just like last week, the lacing of this beer is just, I don't know if you can see
it. Can you see it? Yeah, I can see it. There we go. There you go. Now it's behind my couch. It's phenomenal. I really haven't been tasting this too much while I've been recording this cause we've been having such a good time talking about being sloppy asshole drunks.
Sometimes you can't help it with you guys. With you guys. It's just, it's too easy. It's too easy to be horrible people around you guys. We just have so much fun together. On the sniffer, it's a lot of like pineapple-y, mango-y, tropical like that.
And it's just, it's super sweet, like overripe pineapple. And somebody who works with fruit on the daily. Right, you would know. I feel like I know what I'm talking about. I hope I don't mess it up on the old tongue jobber here. Because this is a lot of pressure.
I have faith in the resume. I feel like I just called myself out. Yeah, we'll find out. It just smells so good. Pressure's on. I feel like I'm recording an ASMR podcast. Okay, so the mango definitely shines through here. And it's funny with me because I hate the actual fruit of the mango.
But mango flavor is great. Anything that tastes like mango is phenomenal. Yes! Do you hate it because it's so hard to peel? Or like to cut it? No, it's just the flavor in itself. It's terrible. I'm with you, buddy.
Real mango can suck it. But like mango flavored anything, abs are fucking looly. I'm not with you. I love a mango. And this just like, this shines super mango. Like that pineapple hardly even comes through on the taste here. Super mango-y. Super, super duper-y, light, linger-y bitterness.
Real low carbonation. It's medium bodied. I would drink this all night long. I love these guys. I really do. And again, with their distribution contract, it's best for their business.
Hey, they should give you a media discount. You're famous. Yeah, for sure. You're an influencer. But you know what? I'll tell you what. Their social media sucks. But I also want to point out that like all of the products in the United States are so expensive now. So like I don't know that they've raised their prices because of what they're doing now.
I think everything is so expensive. Like hops have grown significantly in price. So like they have to live. Cans, aluminum, like they have to live. Like you can't have a business where you just lose money. You have to put your price point where you can survive at least, at bare minimum.
Talking to the people who order for my local shop now. You're telling me I'm wrong? I'm just not going to say that you're right. OK, that's fine. But I know because the contract they signed is with like the most pretentious distribution
company. They do Wisconsin, Minnesota and Illinois. And they try and hit like the top craft breweries around the nation. So they thought this is going to boot them up to the higher echelon and. You know what? I hope it does, because they really do deserve it.
The stuff that they put out is phenomenal. You should be able to show your ID and get locals. They should do something for you. Hey, if you guys are listening. Yeah, come on. Blex should be your influencer right now. You should be grandfathered into the old prices. Correct.
Because like eggs are like eight dollars minimally here. Eggs are crazy. So like I'm assuming hops are super expensive. I mean, I don't think they're related. Well, yes, you can see old eggs to hops ratio. I know. But like my point is that like product in any aspect of life is hard to find.
Like CO2 is hard to find. People can't get it. Yeah. Trying to capture it now. No, I got you. I'm over that rant. I'm sorry, guys. OK, that's a rant over. Well, I guess we'll move on quickly before we get aggressive again. Ludicrous libation law.
We haven't had one of these in a while. Yeah. I've had one in a while. I'm in too. Yeah. Comes straight out of Oregon and it's any location with a liquor license must also serve at least five different food items. OK, I feel like that's legit.
Yeah. Not four, not six, but five. You got to have variety. I guess so. Can I ask you what is on the menu? Because when Covid happened and they said you can be open if you have food items and the breweries here were like bag of chips, bag of pretzels. Those are two different things.
Cup of ice. That was something that counted. Well, in California, they defined it because the brewery started to do that. And then they're like, no, no, no, we have to define it. Yeah. And they define it as a meal. And so like bags of chips didn't count anymore. That's all people had. Fried pickles.
Yeah. Yeah. Those count. And I want an order. Please and thank you. Now this is food items. It doesn't say meal. I'm saying like Doritos, pretzels, Cheetos, that could be different things. Right. So these are meals.
Like, is it more than one item in the meal? I mean, in California, the whole Covid thing. Like burger, fries, sandwich, salad, that kind of thing. You have to have two things in it. And then it got silly because like some breweries, you know, they'd work with the food truck or something to establish that sort of we have food and we can legally be open.
And so what they would do is to make sure that you bought food when you bought your first beer, they would add on a five dollar thing to your tab and then you take it out to the food truck and you get five dollars off. So it's just to make sure that you buy. But here's the thing.
If you didn't want to eat, it just became a five dollar beer tax. Like there was no proving you were eating. Right. You just had to pay at the food truck. Right. Because when you eat food, Covid doesn't spread. Right. That's science. It's a weird thing. I just love that New York had to go drinks at that time.
And we started getting to go drinks for breakfast. We still do. We still have them. Some some places have continued. Best. You never got rid of it. I love it. The best was that the older nurses that I worked with at that time, because they were just like, what the fuck? We're almost retired. And like we had a big group tax.
There was like twenty five of us. And the older nurses were like, hey, we're on night shift tonight. We're going and we're getting to go. Margarita's and drinking them in the car on the way to work. Please, someone tell administration on the way to work. They will fire us because they were trying to get out of it. They all retired about three months after Covid was finished.
But they were so angry and they were definitely getting hammered. So anybody that's listening, sorry, but it we had to survive, you know, especially those women. I was just like, I'm dead, guys. I'm like, please make sure your husbands are driving minimally. Oh, what a weird time.
Oh, it's a little new. I know it. Mel's beer. Yeah. New Belgium. You know, they're not craft anymore. But in a lot of times, breweries get bought out. They kind of fizzle a little bit. That was point New Belgium has surpassed one point two million barrels of production in
twenty twenty up is a record year for them. And they're up 15 percent. And that's before they redid fat tire. Yeah, that was before the fat tire rebrand rebrand brand and re recipe. Wow.
You guys are going to hate me for this, but like I have a soft spot in my heart for New Belgium because like the like regional like marketing manager for Beer World is the Voodoo Ranger.
We did like a bunch of like videos together. So you know what? I can't even say anything bad. I've heard that their fruited sour they just came out with is like very bad. Haven't had look, I have such. There's no reason to. They're a big, you know, part of me getting into craft. Tire was like one of the first craft beer you ever had.
The amber. Yeah. And then fat tire, like for us in New York, it was like a big deal. It was so excited. Oh, we got that. For us, it was like everywhere. It was like a lot of shit beer and then fat tire and Sierra Nevada pale ale. Same.
Yes. Sierra Nevada was everywhere. Yeah. So you could even get it on airplanes like you get fat tire on an airplane when all your other choices were like, yeah, of course, light and shit. So that's how I drink many a fat tire in the air. Let me tell you, I'll still I'll drink one tomorrow. Yeah, they had that whatever their pumpkin beer with the habanero.
It sounds awful. I don't know. Camera. What the fuck that was called. But that was really good. Yeah, it was good. It was very good. I'm going to try in with habanero atomic pumpkin. Yeah, that's what it was called. It was really good. I'm going to try the new fat tire just because I want to know what it tastes like now. But but I am sad.
Well, you know, it. All right. Now we make a call to Penn. Sure. Let's do it. He calls to the bullpen for beer.
So I am drinking a local beer today. One of my favorite breweries in my area is Tin Barn. And I just so happen to pick up a shit ton of beer from them. And today, since it is Wednesday, we are drinking on Wednesday.
We wear pink. It's a New England triple IPA, nine point five percent. And this is what Lauren PS, if you don't know, Tin Barn is a father daughter owned brewery. Lauren is a chemist.
Love her so much. She's amazing. And this is what they have to say. It's a four point zero two percent on on top. Does that matter? You guys care about it anymore? I'm trying to be like you. Bringing for always care. You do care, don't you? If Mel says that, I care. I care about you.
It's a brand new beer. So there's not a lot of check ins. I won't even say how many because it's very small. Bringing full bodied fruit from aroma to taste on Wednesdays. We wear pink featuring Nelson Sovin, Citrus, Simcoe and you. I say Matuka. You say Matoika.
Matoika. Why do you say it that way? How does Tuesday get spelled? Is it T E U? Oh, yeah. I say it that way because it's. Matoika. Told me to say it that way. Matoika. Matoika. Dry half. Matoika. That's how I always just ever said it.
I used to call it Motika. I read it and I just read it Matoika. But anyway, blending stone fruit with citrus flavors, it rolls like velvet happiness over your tongue. After all, it's so fetch. Tight. But it is back to my usual New England hazy that you would expect.
It's a real haze train today. You do. I went to the West Coast last week, except for you didn't get the memo. Turn it around. Yeah. Do you get a lot of that stone fruit citrus, like a peach kind of scent to lift?
Really, really nice, like low carbonation, delicious flavor. A ton, a ton of stone fruit and citrus hits you. Finishes off with that hot flavor we all expect, but really, really light.
There's no bitterness whatsoever besides for the stone fruit peach. Peach has a little bit of a bitterness to it. That's what I taste. This is freaking gorgeous. Does not drink like a 9.5. I would be in some trouble if I continued to drink this whole four pack today, which
I would absolutely do. I mean, I would because Tim Barton, I love him. They just consistently put out great beer. They have a very signature taste to everything that they put out. Lauren keep doing what you're doing. Thank you so much.
Fantastic. Sometimes I don't really like the beers. I never know when I'm going to like them or not. Tim Barton I always do, but I feel like on this podcast specifically, I have had not a lot to say about a lot of the beers. You've had some mixed luck. That's one of my favorite parts about having you on.
I try to go out of the box of like my comfort zone. Like I know I'm going to have something from Tim Barton and I'm going to love it. Like it's never going to be a question. I'll say if I don't like a beer, I don't want people to think I'm bullshit. I mean, I don't want to say that. I feel like that's not, I just will say it's not my favorite. I'm not looking to bash on people, but sometimes beer doesn't come out the way it should come
out or it's just not your jam. Yeah, but this is my jam. I love this. I actually picked up a bunch of this stuff. I am so Greg, look for it in your mailbox two weeks. Oh, I am excited. Somebody's on the list.
Yeah. I'm on the list. Hard now. Uh, PBR is the official beer of the world. Axe throwing league. That seems safe. That makes a lot of sense. I didn't even know it was a thing.
Me neither. Probably originated in Florida. No, that's the, uh, world grenade throwing league. Oh yeah. Yeah. Try to get him in the mouths of gators. It's like golf, but with grenades.
Right? This one, I couldn't even tell you it's not out of Florida. It'd be so obvious that it's out of straight out of Florida. Florida police arrest pooping perpetrator. Oh, Florida police have arrested a man they say was caught on camera breaking into a restaurant
and defecating on the floor. According to Fort Myers police, Nathan Long was arrested on Tuesday after they received reports of a naked drunk man jumping into the college or river detectives. Yeah, that's a long word. Nice.
Yeah. Trying to dispose of the evidence. Clean it off. A detective says they recognize long from the surveillance footage of a Joe's crab shack burglary in Fort Myers on Saturday. The video shows a man entering the restaurant by climbing through a small window.
Officer said he stole multiple items, including alcohol and then defecated on the floor before leaving. So he burgles and then leaves a burger. I was going to say, so he's a cereal shitter. Is that what he does? He's like how he leaves his mark. He just takes a shit on the floor.
So the wet bandits, he takes a shit on the floor. Yeah, he's a shit bandit. Yeah. Maybe he had too much barbecue. If I broke into a place, it's because I have to go to the bathroom so bad I can't hold it. Well, maybe he couldn't make it to the bathroom. He's just right there on the floor. Long was found later on a derelict boat.
Detective said long admitted he was the man they were looking for during an interview. Didn't even try to cover it up. He faces several charges, including property damage, burglary, and petty theft. He was booked into the Lee County Jail. Yeah. Way to go, Florida. Sorry, guys. It's going to happen more often there.
It's just who you are. No integrity. You know what? We know some influence. That's what it is. We know some influencers from the Fort Myer area, so it's kind of scary a little bit.
Lock your doors because somebody might shit in your house. For real. Get that radio loaded. Lock your doors and put the plastic on the carpet because somebody might come in and shit. Put plastic on the couch. Who knows? Make sure, yeah, get rid of your carpet. Throw it out. Yeah. Okay. A bar is being sued after a woman says she was left a quadriplegic after a drunken fall
from a stool. Wait, what? A Westmoreland- Wow. Out of Pittsburgh. A Westmoreland bar is now facing a lawsuit. The Tribune Review reports that Mary Jo Jordan claims in the suit that she was left a quadriplegic when she was served too much alcohol and then fell off a stool.
It happened two years ago at the Lone Star Inn in Belle Township. According to the Tribune, the woman claims she was continuously served vodka and beer despite being visibly intoxicated. I just don't know if that's fair. Sorry, do you have more- Just taking an unspecified amount of damage,
blah, blah, blah. Yeah. What's next? Is your husband going to sue you for letting him drink too much vodka and LaCroix out there or what? Maybe. I mean, I have been over-served many times, but that's because I tell them to do it. Right. It's no one's fault but my own. You're hammered. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm totally sober and I'm hanging halfway off the stool. You know what I mean? I think the bar doesn't need to take responsibility anymore for your actions. However, if they want to take your keys, please don't try to punch them in the face. Don't do that. Oh God. Look, take the keys, whatever, but if you get drunk and fall off a stool, that's fucking
on you, man. It's your fault. Yeah. It's not the stool is unsafe. It's like- Right. The stool was wobbly before. Okay, shut up. Yeah, exactly. That's like- I just don't feel safe. I don't know what to do with them. You fell off so hard you are quadriplegic. Also what- That's insane.
What the f- How fucking tall was that stool? It just sounds like a really unlucky fall. It sounds like she hit the wrong way, which makes me sad for her, but it's just like one of those unfortunate events. I don't know what- Still her fault. What are you looking to get out of this from the bar that served you?
Clearly some money. Yeah. Yeah. So we were at a party, we did a brewery crawl in San Diego and Nick, Big Dick Nick, we walked in at the very last stop and I said to everybody as we were starting our crawl, I said, hey
everybody, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't go too hard at anyone brewery because we're going to hit 10 breweries today or whatever it was. We got to the very last one and we hit this bar right before we went to our last brewery, which was Modern Times, and everyone decided to do shots.
I fucking blacked out at that point. Yeah. Wow. I don't remember leaving. I remember walking out the bar and then it's all gone and then all of a sudden we're back at the house. But apparently we walked into Modern Times and Nick loves telling this story because he's like, yeah, I got Greg and Deanna on my shoulder like fucking weekend at Bernie's
over here. And we walk up to the bar and I'm like, yeah, can we get a round? He's like, they wouldn't serve us. And so he had to convince them, he's like, well, just get me a beer and I won't share it with these two idiots. Yeah. At least they were smart. I agree. I shouldn't have given us beers. I don't remember any of it.
I don't know. You guys probably had your own transportation though. That's kind of the only thing as a server I care about. Yeah, we had it all set up and so we're good. I think we all agree that as people that are drinkers, Flex, are you awake over there?
Are you sleeping? Yeah. No, I am super good. Just making sure. There's a certain amount of brownout that's allowed and then every once in a while there's a blackout. We can kind of tolerate it and it's our friends. It'll be my turn, it'll be your turn. But then there are other people that don't subscribe to that and they're like, you should
be in control of yourself all the time. I'm like, well, that's not me. I'm not always in control. So just be aware of that. I also wonder if you know the people who just have no control once they start drinking. Yeah. Depends on the night. Once it's turned on, it's turned on. There's no switch. Yeah, we know those people.
It's like all three of us. I mean, sometimes. Everybody's going to take a turn. We all have those days, man. Yeah, nothing wrong with it. All right. That is everything from us. Thank you all for listening. I'm going to hit some music.
Hi, Vanessa. Hey, Vanessa. Vanessa, when are we hanging out again? Oh yeah, let's hang out. Come back to California. Anyways, find us all on the Grams. BeerGirl underscore Melissa. FlexMeABeer underscores in between. Of course, Craft Beer Republic. No underscores because we make it easy on you, just like Toyota.
805-538-BEER. It's 2337. I do believe that is everything. So I hope everyone is staying very well hydrated. And on that note, good night, everybody. BeerGirls out.