1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,200 On this episode of the Dudes and Dads podcast, we talk with our friend, Karla Hostetler about 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,200 education. 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:10,200 You're listening to the Dudes and Dads podcast, a show dedicated to helping men be better 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:16,680 dudes and dads by building community through meaningful conversation and storytelling. 5 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:22,040 And now here are your hosts, Joel DeMonte and Andy Layton. 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,040 Andrew. 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,040 Joel, how are you? 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,040 How are you? 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,040 I was asking you the same thing. 10 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,640 I'm great, how are you? 11 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:28,640 I'm better now. 12 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,680 I was working on our car earlier today. 13 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,960 You've had some car problems, troubles. 14 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,200 Alternator, you can't get it out. 15 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,200 It's terrible. 16 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:42,280 Did you, did the alternator go out on you in an inconvenient place or did you manage 17 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,280 to get that baby home? 18 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,400 It's like, I got a home, but it's in and out. 19 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,080 Like it's charging and it stops charging. 20 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:54,400 Alternator was the first time I ever had an alternator go out on me, Andy, because I know 21 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,280 you wanted to know. 22 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:03,520 I was, I was 16 years old driving my car out of the very large parking area at Michigan 23 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,040 international speedway after a race. 24 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,960 And the worst time on alternator can go out is when you were a giant mob of people trying 25 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,880 to leave a major sporting event. 26 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,800 So thanks for bringing up that car trauma for me. 27 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,800 So glad that was a repost memory. 28 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,800 So how are you? 29 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:20,800 Man, I'm so good. 30 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:29,760 I want to just give a shout out to my lovely wife, Jackie, who just dialed it in this evening 31 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,580 and made breakfast for dinner. 32 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:33,560 And I, I love a good breakfast for dinner. 33 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,560 Yeah. 34 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,060 The pancakes, the eggs, the bacon, we did it all. 35 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:38,060 It's good. 36 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,060 That's good bacon. 37 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:43,100 Bacon's particularly, and she, she made a lot of bacon, so much bacon actually that 38 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,720 she had to open the windows in the kitchen. 39 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,720 Cause it was smoking. 40 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,500 We got a lot of bacon smoking there. 41 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:52,360 So I've got that I look forward to that and returning home with the bacon smell at the 42 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,360 DeMott household. 43 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,580 Hey everybody, welcome to the dudes and dads podcast. 44 00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:57,580 Glad to have you here. 45 00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:00,340 Hey Joel, you know what I was thinking about before we get our guests on tonight? 46 00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:01,340 Yes. 47 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:02,340 It is almost Christmas time. 48 00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:03,340 It is Chris. 49 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,300 Oh, well, it'll be here before we know it. 50 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:06,300 Close enough. 51 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,300 Close enough. 52 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,460 You could also get this for Thanksgiving, but we have a merch store. 53 00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:14,060 You can get your dudes and dads merch and it's merch.dudesanddads.com. 54 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:18,540 What a great stocking stuffer to get yourself just that dudes and dads tea that you've been 55 00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:22,500 wanting or the, the hat. 56 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,500 Yes. 57 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,700 The sweatshirt since it is turning cold. 58 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:27,700 It is. 59 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:28,700 Do we have beanies? 60 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,700 We have the coffee. 61 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:30,700 Yes, we do. 62 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,880 We have the gas station coffee review beanie. 63 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,420 You can show up to Thanksgiving with it. 64 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:37,900 That'll be better than other conversations you could have. 65 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:38,900 Exactly. 66 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:43,740 What a, what a great conversation starter to show up with your dudes and dads podcast 67 00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:44,740 apparel. 68 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,580 So head on over to the store, check it out. 69 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:50,020 All my kids, all my kids, not to spoil it, but all my kids are getting a dudes and dads 70 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:55,940 gift this year because I believe in shameless self promotion and leveraging my young people 71 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:58,700 to get out there and get the word out about the podcast. 72 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:03,460 And you too can join in on wearing and being one of our billboards and wearing, wearing 73 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,460 some merch. 74 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:05,900 Hey, thanks so much. 75 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,700 Everybody appreciated it in advance by the buyer stuff. 76 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,700 Yes. 77 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,260 So we are talking education tonight. 78 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,980 And so I wanted to bring Carla on. 79 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:16,960 Carla is a local principal here in our area. 80 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,820 My youngest daughter goes to the school that she principles at, which is how I know her. 81 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:22,100 So welcome to the show. 82 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,100 Thanks. 83 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,100 So glad to be here. 84 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,100 Hi Carla. 85 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,100 Oh gosh. 86 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:31,140 We were just telling Carla that she is on this, what was really an elite, an elite and 87 00:03:31,140 --> 00:03:35,700 select group of amazing women that have been on the show. 88 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,060 We tend to get a lot of, surprisingly enough on the dudes and dads podcast, a lot of dudes 89 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,620 and dads on here. 90 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:47,300 But when we, when we know that there is, it doesn't matter, dude, dad, dudette, whoever, 91 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:51,740 when we, when we want to have a conversation with someone who knows things about things, 92 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:52,740 we bring them in. 93 00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:53,740 Right. 94 00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:55,460 And Carla is that person who knows things about things. 95 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:58,780 So specifically, so welcome. 96 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:03,820 Normally we normally we ask dad stats, but since you're not a dad, we'll just ask the 97 00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:11,540 Carla stats, meaning family, kids, husband, dogs, pets, whatever you want to tell us. 98 00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:12,540 I have all those things. 99 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,540 So that's a great start. 100 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:19,620 My husband, JB and I have been married for 25 years, lived in Goshen all of our married 101 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:22,900 life and we have three, three kids. 102 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,060 Our oldest Noah is 20. 103 00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:26,520 He is recently engaged. 104 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:30,620 So we're going to add, I'm going to add mother-in-law to all of my extra titles. 105 00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:31,620 Yeah. 106 00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,420 So I'm excited about that is getting married in June. 107 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:40,260 Then we have two seniors, our daughter, Greta, and we have a son, Mosey. 108 00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:42,740 They're both 18, but not twins. 109 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,060 Oh, I know. 110 00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:48,940 You can just do the math or wonder about it or we're going to leave everybody. 111 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,260 No, seriously. 112 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,300 How in the world did you do it? 113 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:59,260 How have you managed to somehow circumvent typical chronology and having children? 114 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:00,260 What's the story? 115 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:01,260 What's the story? 116 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,780 So we have our oldest son, Noah, then two and a half years later, Greta was born. 117 00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:10,300 And then two, about two years after that, we brought our third son home, middle in age, 118 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:14,140 13 days apart from our youngest daughter, Greta. 119 00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:18,580 Mosey was adopted from Ethiopia and he has been home with us for about 15 years. 120 00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:19,580 Wonderful. 121 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,580 Awesome. 122 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:25,760 So you are, you are now, you share this in common, one of the third guest who has a child 123 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,280 from Ethiopia on the show. 124 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,280 So awesome. 125 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,280 Yeah. 126 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,280 That's awesome. 127 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:40,760 And do you re I think raising kids that are that close in age is a thing because there's 128 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:46,140 not the there's not the older, younger sibling dynamic between the two of them in the way. 129 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:47,140 Correct. 130 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,020 It's more of a, maybe a competitive spirit. 131 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,940 Well, I think it would have been more competitive had they been the same sex. 132 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:55,680 So one boy, one girl helped. 133 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,500 When he came home, Greta was very much so she was born talking. 134 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,860 He came home speaking no English, so it was a perfect combination. 135 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:03,860 That's awesome. 136 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:04,860 That's awesome. 137 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:07,720 But twins at three, not from birth, but from three on. 138 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:08,720 That's awesome. 139 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,440 And you previously mentioned that you've been in education for 25 years, been married for 140 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,440 25 years. 141 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,080 So you started both of those adventures at the same time. 142 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,820 We literally got married on Saturday and I went to work on Wednesday. 143 00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:20,720 Oh wow. 144 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,080 We call that poor planning in my house. 145 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,160 I don't know what educator gets married in August, but this one did. 146 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,520 And so every year I'm like, happy anniversary, we'll celebrate later. 147 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,020 It's almost always the first day of school or the first week. 148 00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:34,020 That's so great. 149 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,020 It's just similar. 150 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:39,820 It's not quite like this, but my birthday is always right when we come back from winter 151 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:46,080 break and it always feels like a real let down to have your birthday after a vacation. 152 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,780 And it's like, everybody's coming back kind of like down and like whatever. 153 00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:52,760 And it's like, Hey, happy birthday to you. 154 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,880 So someone should, I don't know. 155 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,560 My parents could have planned, but my mom's been, my mom is retiring this coming year 156 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,560 from education. 157 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,560 So congratulations to her. 158 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,560 She's made it. 159 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:12,240 She's this, I don't know if she's listening, but it's time. 160 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:17,760 So we wanted to specifically talk to you tonight about ways that parents in general, but I 161 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:23,080 think specifically men can support their kids' education. 162 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:29,760 So I think, yeah, like what comes to mind when we say kids' education and parents supporting? 163 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,100 Well start out with a loaded question. 164 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,100 That's awesome. 165 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:36,560 So actually one thing that came to mind when I thought about this, just this last Thursday 166 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,120 night, we had a literacy night. 167 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,360 WNIT was there. 168 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,120 They were promoting their channel and also literacy things you can do with your kids. 169 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:49,200 And I was so impressed, probably 80 people in the room. 170 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,200 So impressed. 171 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,440 The dads were there with their kids and not the moms. 172 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:59,280 There were parents there, both love that, but the dads who came with just their kid, 173 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,920 like I hope it was significant. 174 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:01,920 It stood out to me. 175 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:02,920 I was like, good for you. 176 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,560 I actually went around and was like, thank you. 177 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,640 Thank you for coming. 178 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,320 Some of them have little people at home, so mom was probably home with them. 179 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,520 Some of them, I think only children, but I was like, that was really impressive to me 180 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,520 to see. 181 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,720 I don't think that that happens enough, but that they would take the time Thursday night, 182 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,960 six o'clock hour and a half to come hang out with their kid and bring them to school, which 183 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,240 is just not the norm. 184 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,240 Yeah. 185 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,240 Yeah. 186 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:33,600 So going on to, and well now two years ago, made the decision to become a PTO president 187 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:42,240 at Goshen Intermediate School under, it was sort of the school was new and so it was like 188 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,520 they needed a PTO and no one wanted to be president. 189 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:47,520 Ding, ding, ding. 190 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:52,280 And so I happened to be in the room, but one of the reasons that I took that step was this 191 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:59,040 desire to get more dads involved in, and we've seen that. 192 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:04,160 In your perspective, I'm sure there's a myriad of reasons why maybe stereotypically we don't 193 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,740 see dads involvement. 194 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:11,200 My guess would be, I'll throw out my guess and see if this kind of resonates or what 195 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,720 your experience has been. 196 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,840 You know, traditionally it's kind of, well, dad does a lot of the, all the other stuff 197 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:25,880 and mom is kind of like the school, like the default school person. 198 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:31,120 You know, mom's going to be the one that has the conversations with teachers. 199 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:36,120 Mom's going to be the one that does the volunteering, that sort of thing. 200 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:40,320 And I just, I wonder, I wonder where that comes from. 201 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,600 If this is just kind of like a, if there's kind of a traditional, like a traditional role 202 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:48,960 and understanding here, a default, or if there's maybe some other, other challenges or things 203 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,080 that are also going on that kind of tend to make that happen. 204 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,640 Cause it's been my, it's definitely been my observation from my, my vantage point. 205 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,640 Yeah, definitely. 206 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:01,000 I think that that's probably the traditional, the traditional role that we have seen that 207 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:06,360 as dads, I don't know, probably started with dads, we're working more, maybe moms are staying 208 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,360 home. 209 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,800 I wonder if that's where it started and then it has come maybe full circle. 210 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,840 It definitely also is about who fills out the paperwork. 211 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,540 If I'm being super honest, like, right. 212 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,240 You put mom's name first and dad's name. 213 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:22,160 So when I go look up to call somebody, primary contact is typically mom. 214 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,680 And so that's just interesting as well. 215 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:27,440 Um, as, but I don't know where it started, I would assume there. 216 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:31,360 And then I think, I think dads are obviously more than, more than qualified and sometimes 217 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,040 know their kids way better. 218 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:38,760 Um, I often will say to kids, who do you want me to call? 219 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,120 So if you were to give a percentage of that, what would be the percentage that say dads? 220 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,160 Um, most of them say call mom. 221 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,880 My kids, um, wouldn't have said call dad because they knew mom would be way harder. 222 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,340 Cause mom, mom works at school. 223 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:54,960 Mom knows mom's always going to take teacher's side first. 224 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,360 Dad's probably a little more fair in my house, but I'm going to be like, no, your teacher's 225 00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,360 right. 226 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,360 You were probably wrong. 227 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,840 But yeah, I think most kids say call mom. 228 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,840 Yeah. 229 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,840 That's interesting. 230 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:14,760 Um, when, when you see or experience a kid who like any, any given student and his teachers 231 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:21,080 are thinking through this, um, you know, a lot of the kids, a lot of the kids that I, 232 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:25,080 that I serve in my job, I mean, dad, dad is just not in the picture altogether. 233 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,360 And I know that depending on the demographic and where, where our schools are and all that, 234 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,760 that can, that can shift. 235 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:37,920 Um, what for, so you have, you have these homes where mom and dad are not, not, mom 236 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,720 and dad are not in the same household, uh, together. 237 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,760 That's a very, that's a very real everyday reality. 238 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,400 How how do you as a principal, I'm sure, I mean, I'm sure that's a scenario that you, 239 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,600 that you see and experience. 240 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:56,540 How do you as a principal think through or how teachers think through bringing, bringing 241 00:11:56,540 --> 00:12:00,120 mom to dad, sort of mom and dad to the, to the table? 242 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,120 Maybe not the same table at the same time, but, but, but trying to engage both, I would 243 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,600 imagine that's a pretty significant challenge. 244 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,600 Right. 245 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,360 I, I think that there's both ways. 246 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,500 So parents who are together and mom and dad are there. 247 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,560 I think traditionally somebody just kind of taking the lead and that makes sense that 248 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,720 somebody is the person of contact, the person who's on the remind app, who's getting all 249 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,740 those text messages from the teacher. 250 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:22,920 Moms and dads can both be on it. 251 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,280 And I always encourage them to both because then they have the information. 252 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,520 Um, so I think there's that part of it. 253 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:33,100 There's also split families and then you have families that sometimes can get along really 254 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,840 well together and they can come together and share their 15 minute conference. 255 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,920 And then we've got families who can't and they both need that time. 256 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,960 I think involving parents though is the biggest, is the biggest thing when they know what's 257 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,200 going on in their kids' education. 258 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,360 And quite frankly, that's gotta be more than the spelling test. 259 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,240 I mean, that's the one thing teachers and I talk about a lot. 260 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,400 That's the one thing parents are like, I can do that. 261 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,240 I know how to do that. 262 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,920 So helping parents make sure they understand the changes in curriculum. 263 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,240 It's not the way we did math when we were in school. 264 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,000 I mean, we heard that a lot and I'm like, well, me either. 265 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,880 But have your kid teach you, reach out to your teachers, ask the questions, find those 266 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,320 resources that you need so that you can support your kids because they do need your support 267 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,820 and they do need to know that what's happening at school is important to them more than how 268 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:20,820 is your day fine. 269 00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:25,260 Just told the story tonight to somebody that we have people who come to school and look 270 00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,260 to sign out their kids. 271 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,580 I'm like, oh, who's their teacher? 272 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:28,580 I don't know. 273 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:29,580 Oh yeah, sure. 274 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:30,580 I'm like, okay, well great. 275 00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:31,580 Yeah. 276 00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:32,580 Fourth. 277 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,580 Okay. 278 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,580 Well, give them three choices and they're like, maybe. 279 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,580 And I'm like, okay, well I'll just look it up. 280 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:38,580 Nevermind. 281 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,580 Yeah. 282 00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:42,180 Oh, it doesn't happen a lot, but it's just interesting to me where I'm like, are you 283 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:46,980 having any kinds of conversations at home about school and the adults that you're spending 284 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:47,980 all of this time with? 285 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:53,480 I mean, you people I'm floored when I think about it, they bring their kids to school, 286 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:57,800 they drop them off, they trust them with us for seven hours a day. 287 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,800 Yeah. 288 00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,800 Yeah. 289 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,060 And they're like, and I've been guilty of this at times. 290 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:04,940 I'm sure, I'm sure it's going fine. 291 00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:05,940 I'm sure it's good. 292 00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:06,940 I'm sure it's great. 293 00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:07,940 Until it's not. 294 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:08,940 Right. 295 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:09,940 Yeah. 296 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,180 Well, and I think to your point too, I think some of that, especially as they get older 297 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:17,540 too, that makes it even harder to get involved because it's easy for me with Hattie, right? 298 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,540 Yeah. 299 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,440 And the stuff, I can go through that and learn and know that stuff pretty easily. 300 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,780 But when I get up into the upper grades of my other kids, sometimes that I don't remember 301 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:26,780 that stuff. 302 00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:27,780 It's been a long time since I've been in high school. 303 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:28,780 All right. 304 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:29,780 Algebra, algebra. 305 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:34,980 The other day I pulled out some MX plus B thing out of the back of my brain. 306 00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:36,420 And now do I know what it means? 307 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,420 No. 308 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:41,620 But I remember like I was talking with Josiah about this eighth grade math. 309 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:49,300 And and there, there is that point where, where you do start feeling like I, I am not 310 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:55,280 like I have, I have a son, Aaron, he's in an intro to engineering class right now. 311 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,480 They're doing, they're doing CAD design and things. 312 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,480 Yeah. 313 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,480 Yeah. 314 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:04,320 Not, not in my, not in my skill set. 315 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,560 Right. 316 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:10,200 But in the early, but the earlier ages, and I think this is, and Carla, I'd be interested. 317 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:15,180 Is it, how much is it really about you staying in step through with your kids and knowing 318 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:22,320 all the things through school versus those early years of, you know, early years of intervention, 319 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,360 the reading together, I think just some of the, some of the basic things, right? 320 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,480 Like the reading together is that, yeah. 321 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,480 Yeah. 322 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,680 You can't, I mean, there's no way none of us can keep up on all those things. 323 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,960 And I tell kids even now I did sixth grade once. 324 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:33,960 I don't, I don't know. 325 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,680 I can find out how to do it, but I can't tell you I can do it right now. 326 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,680 Right. 327 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,800 Elementary kids think, you know, everything, which is pretty awesome most of the time, 328 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,400 but then other times you have to admit it. 329 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,440 You're like, yeah, I don't know how to do that either. 330 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,980 So no, I'm not going to help my daughter with chemistry anytime soon, but being in relationship 331 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:50,980 enough. 332 00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:53,900 And, and I think what you're talking about, Joel, is giving them the resources and teaching 333 00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:59,780 them to be resilient, teaching them to problem solve, teaching them to ask the questions. 334 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,780 I can't be with you all day, every day. 335 00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:04,360 So you have to go and figure out the answers to these things. 336 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,260 So I think that that's part of, of walking alongside of them as they become adults. 337 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:14,900 But I think it is the basics when they're in elementary school and way before I tell 338 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:19,480 parents all the time, if you would do one thing with your kid, if you would literally 339 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:23,320 read with them every night or have them read to you, it doesn't matter. 340 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,640 Honestly, it doesn't matter. 341 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,880 Do every other page, every other paragraph you read to them for the 30 minutes or 20 342 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,360 minutes, have them read to you. 343 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:35,160 And if you did nothing else, we could change the trajectory of kids' lives. 344 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:40,620 A big effort here in Elkhart County where we are here in North central Indiana for all 345 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:45,060 of you listening outside of the area, but a real, a big discussion, important discussion 346 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,300 about kindergarten readiness in particular. 347 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,700 And we tend to think like education, I think it's easy cause it's like, okay, you start 348 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:56,540 in kindergarten, the educational process to your point begins so much, so much earlier 349 00:16:56,540 --> 00:16:59,620 beyond that for our kids to thrive and to succeed. 350 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:06,480 And that's where, you know, I think there's all kinds of opportunities, certainly. 351 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,480 Right. 352 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,480 And I think reading brings that, right? 353 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,200 You don't have to have, you can be reading any book and talk to your kid about what's 354 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,200 going on. 355 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,220 There's a problem, there's a solution, there's characters, there's all the things that are 356 00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:17,220 going on. 357 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,760 You don't have to have a degree in education to talk to your kids. 358 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,560 And I think that books just bring that out naturally. 359 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,160 You're not trying to look for a situation to talk about. 360 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,840 We're just talking about the story. 361 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:31,100 And I think that that just interaction with them and them being able to talk about what 362 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:37,140 they read or what they heard is just so meaningful to kids when then they come to school and 363 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,460 they have some shared experience, they have some background knowledge. 364 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:45,660 And that's the kind of thing that if we start at five, some of them can't catch up or we 365 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:48,820 spend a lot of time trying to catch them up so that they can have a shared experience 366 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:51,060 with their peers who did get all of that. 367 00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,060 Yeah. 368 00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:59,840 So for us, there's a book series that my son had read in high school and my wife decided 369 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:00,840 to read the same thing. 370 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,200 And then it was great to watch them be able to talk back and forth about the characters 371 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,200 and the different plots. 372 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,560 And it was fun to watch their interaction and how they bonded over that book series. 373 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,580 So yeah, I like that idea. 374 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:18,080 So when the kid comes home, this is the, I think I've probably gotten this question wrong 375 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,680 for a long period of time. 376 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:25,700 But when your son or daughter comes home and you want to know about their school day, what 377 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:29,100 is the question that is asked? 378 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,500 The one that you should or you shouldn't ask? 379 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,120 The one we all ask is, how was your day? 380 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,120 That's exactly right. 381 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,120 And they say fine. 382 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,120 And they say fine. 383 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,120 Or good. 384 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,120 Or they just stare at you. 385 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,120 Yeah. 386 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,120 Yeah. 387 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,060 You get a lot of mixed responses, but they're about all one word. 388 00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:44,060 Yes. 389 00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,060 Yeah. 390 00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:50,440 So I think the questions you can be asking or should be asking definitely are just more 391 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,440 in depth. 392 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,880 It can be subject matter. 393 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:53,880 Did you learn something new? 394 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,880 No. 395 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,240 Well, I send you to school every day. 396 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,400 I hope you're learning something new. 397 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,640 But I think you got to get past that. 398 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,200 How'd you help somebody today? 399 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,420 What made you smile? 400 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:05,000 What made you sad? 401 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,280 What did you see that you liked? 402 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,360 What did you see that you didn't like? 403 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,840 I think you have to kind of get past those one word answers where they can just be like 404 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,160 good, bad, eh. 405 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,280 And dig into that a little bit because something happened. 406 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,940 They were there for seven hours a day. 407 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:19,260 They ate lunch with people. 408 00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:20,320 They played with people. 409 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,080 They had classroom discussions. 410 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,540 They had a special... 411 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:26,240 Interacted with all these other adults and kids. 412 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,540 But I think it's getting to the heart of it. 413 00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,740 And sometimes you're still going to get eh. 414 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,940 But I think there's lots of things we can't ask. 415 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:38,340 And I think it's important to make that conversation not just a one way conversation too, but where 416 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:41,780 I can say, "Hey, this is the part of my day that I really enjoyed. 417 00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:46,080 I was at work for eight hours a day and I did this and I interacted with this person." 418 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,900 So they know it's not just a, "Hey, how was your day? 419 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:48,900 I'm trying to pry." 420 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:49,900 Right? 421 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:50,900 Right. 422 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,940 And my kids will ask and then I'm like, "Oh, I don't really want to relive the whole day." 423 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:57,980 But then I think modeling that for them and going back to something that... 424 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,720 Something that happened or something that was really difficult. 425 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,000 Because I think when mom comes home tired from dealing with everybody else's kids, it 426 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,120 has been difficult over the years to be having something left for them. 427 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:13,180 But just sharing enough so I can keep things private that are supposed to stay private, 428 00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:15,100 but giving them enough of a glimpse. 429 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:18,980 My daughter came to school her whole junior year for the first hour of the day. 430 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,680 She needed an extra class. 431 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,980 That was probably the best thing that ever happened for us. 432 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:26,180 Because she would come home at night and be like, "Did things get better? 433 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,460 Was the rest of your day good?" 434 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,220 And I was like, "Some days, yeah. 435 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:31,540 And other days, like, absolutely not. 436 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:32,540 Thank you for asking." 437 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:33,540 Yeah. 438 00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:34,540 Yeah. 439 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:35,540 But yeah, I love that. 440 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:39,680 Sharing the day with them, I think is important from our perspective as well. 441 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,960 So when we think about learning environments within the home, because obviously the school 442 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,640 is a particular kind of learning environment, structured in a certain way. 443 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,320 But our homes are learning environments too. 444 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:59,120 And I think all of us would hope that our homes are places that are conducive to learning, 445 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:06,140 that are especially in, obviously, this will go out and say at the outset of my four kids, 446 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,560 they all learn a little each a little bit differently. 447 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:14,260 So we're not quite the exactly like the custom learning environment for every single one 448 00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:18,780 of them, but probably some overarching things that we can do within our homes or thinking 449 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:23,100 about to be conducive to learning. 450 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,100 What would you identify for parents? 451 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:30,640 Yeah, I think knowing that your kids are all different, I think is huge. 452 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,200 Starting there, knowing that every kid is going to learn differently. 453 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,200 I tell parents all the time too, when they get home, we please let them play. 454 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,360 Like, let them have a break. 455 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:42,440 Let them, whatever that looks like, please go outside and play. 456 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,160 That's what I would love them all to do. 457 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,640 To not be on a screen, to engage their minds in some way, but also just to have that mental 458 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,080 break and then go back to that homework, if there's homework. 459 00:21:54,080 --> 00:22:00,500 I think big overall learning environment is just what we're teaching them in the day today. 460 00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:03,540 I think teaching them how to change their alternator in their cars is amazing. 461 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,700 I hope one of your kids was out there watching that. 462 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:10,520 My one kid goes to Wawa C for the thing, the whole automotive thing. 463 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,260 So he actually teaches me a lot. 464 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:15,380 But even better. 465 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:21,060 So I think that those experiences where it is just involving our kids in whatever the 466 00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:29,680 extra is, church, home, our work, family, changing a tire, an alternator, planning a 467 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:30,680 garden. 468 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,080 I think that kind of learning is what's happening. 469 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,760 I would love to tell you that I did flashcards with my kids and taught them how to read before 470 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,680 they went to school and they knew all the things they did not. 471 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,800 They had amazing teachers who helped them with those things. 472 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:49,280 And I think it's our job to give them that background knowledge of how to learn, like 473 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,280 how to sit. 474 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,280 And that's where we're at now. 475 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,340 Did you know how to sit for more than five minutes? 476 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,380 Can they listen? 477 00:22:55,380 --> 00:22:57,740 Can they follow one step directions? 478 00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:04,660 Those are the things that if kids came to school able to do and were ready to learn, 479 00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:09,100 then that goes back to that kindergarten thing where we can't catch them up because we can 480 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,260 do the academic work. 481 00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,640 That is our job at school. 482 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,640 We can do that. 483 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,640 Yeah. 484 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:14,640 Yeah. 485 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:21,580 And there is a, you know, I'm sure for plenty of young people, for plenty of kids, you know, 486 00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:26,660 home is, you know, it's probably a little chaotic. 487 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:29,540 There's a lot of things going on. 488 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:34,500 There's any number of other additional challenges and struggles that they're facing. 489 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:38,100 And our kids are bringing those things with them to school. 490 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:43,140 And this is the increased challenge of a teacher. 491 00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:50,880 I think my biggest, you know, for me personally, it's like, I would like to say that I have 492 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:56,480 a very firm view on like what the job of the school is and what it is not. 493 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,080 And yet it seems to me that the school has become the default place that just tries to 494 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,520 be the catchall for... 495 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,920 Well, yeah, that's shifting. 496 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:08,160 A lot of that is shifting, I think from like where school is just like education, but you 497 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:12,120 have kids that go in there early for food and you know, all sorts of different things. 498 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,120 Right. 499 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,580 And teachers are not parents. 500 00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:15,580 Schools are not parents. 501 00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:19,280 They are, you know, and that's, I mean, we've said on the show again, again, that's why 502 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:25,920 this is one of the fundamental beliefs of this show is that we, as dudes and dads and 503 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:33,240 as, you know, parts of families, we have a unique and very specific role that we are 504 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,240 to play. 505 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:40,480 And it's not one that gets to be outsourced or should be outsourced when it's very specifically 506 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,200 ours to do. 507 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:49,320 And that's our, that's our encourage or encouragement for dads specifically is to, is to be strategic 508 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:54,520 about, about the places that you can make, you can make an impact. 509 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,520 And that's how have the reading time with your, with your, with your kiddo. 510 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,040 And it doesn't have to be, by the way, it doesn't have to be long. 511 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,040 No, no. 512 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,640 In fact, I, you know, for, for me, a lot of times, especially for Hattie, like, well, as 513 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,720 I'm putting her to bed five, 10 minutes, we'll read through her Bible story that she's got 514 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,720 going on there. 515 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,760 And sometimes I read and sometimes she does. 516 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,720 And so, yeah, it just kind of kind of depends. 517 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,180 You know, I like to see like both of it because I like to be able to read to her, but I also 518 00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:21,040 like to hear her read and I know that she does a good job at reading. 519 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,040 And so I want to hear it. 520 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,040 Yeah. 521 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,600 And I think then that when you read, then you have more time to ask them about what 522 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,600 they heard. 523 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,980 And that listening comprehension skill is just as important because it's one of those 524 00:25:28,980 --> 00:25:33,960 beginning stages of reading when I can understand and have something to talk about. 525 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,640 I think that that in the classroom, that's what we're always trying to build is having 526 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:43,240 a place where we're teaching everybody something, pick a subject matter, and then they can, 527 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,720 even if they can't read at all, they're having that shared experience with their, with their 528 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,720 friends. 529 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,400 And then that makes me want to actually try and dig in. 530 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,700 But back to your point of schools can't do it all. 531 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:56,180 So we need parents help, but we have kids. 532 00:25:56,180 --> 00:26:00,360 And I think this has been the norm in the bigger, greater Elkhart County. 533 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:07,040 Cause I worked at Elkhart community schools for 16 years and then came to Fairfield, which 534 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,640 has been amazing, both places, amazing for different reasons. 535 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:17,600 But I think we're just starting to see more in the Northern Indiana area part, just more 536 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,320 influx of that schools need to be more for kids. 537 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:21,320 And that's hard. 538 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:26,400 It's hard for teachers to be social workers and moms and dads and the nurse and teachers 539 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,400 all at the same time. 540 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,600 I mean, we're asking them sometimes to do almost impossible jobs. 541 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,600 Yeah. 542 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,600 Yeah. 543 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:34,600 Yeah. 544 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:41,400 That's for, especially for younger teachers. 545 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:47,640 So being a, being a, someone who's in the non-for-profit world a good portion of the 546 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:53,520 social workers that I engage with are teachers that went to education, made it one or two 547 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,360 years and then said, no, no thanks. 548 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,360 Right. 549 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:59,680 And there's, there's plenty of those. 550 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:06,000 There's plenty of plenty of teachers that my wife is hiring as sales, as salespeople who, 551 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,120 you know, we're at the somewhere between the three and four year mark, something like that. 552 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:13,600 And then they made the decision to opt out. 553 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,000 And then, and I would say, and Carl, I, I don't know if you've talked me off a ledge 554 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000 on this. 555 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,880 I have, I have a concern that some of our best are leaving. 556 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,920 Right. 557 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:29,920 I think some of our best haven't given it, don't stick it out long enough to be the best 558 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,260 because they just get really frustrated and burned out in those first five years. 559 00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:37,840 And so I think if they don't have good administration around them, if there is not good support, 560 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,320 then I think it's easy to be like, this is not what I meant, what I thought it was going 561 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:42,720 to be. 562 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:47,440 Even if you'd asked them, I think 80% of teachers say, I knew I wanted to be a teacher when 563 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:48,440 I was in third grade. 564 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,480 I had this great, great teacher and by fifth grade I've always wanted to be a teacher. 565 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,840 And then you have to have that hard conversation of like, well, if that's what you've wanted, 566 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,640 then don't give up too soon. 567 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:04,600 But it is one of the most difficult jobs with the dynamics of school changing. 568 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,220 Go ahead. 569 00:28:07,220 --> 00:28:13,880 So what, what can parents, dads, parents, moms do help support teachers from burning 570 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,880 out? 571 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:15,880 Yeah. 572 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,440 I think honestly, it's that, that being there and knowing that when we don't, teachers don't 573 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,560 have to always be right. 574 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,660 We have one side of the story, like right when we're calling. 575 00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:28,180 But I think that when parents call back or have that conversation, you just trust them 576 00:28:28,180 --> 00:28:32,660 and believe them and hear them out through the whole thing. 577 00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:37,240 Assume the best from that teacher and that adult in the, in the classroom or, frankly, 578 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,240 when I'm calling. 579 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,120 And your kid's going to have a different side of the story and that's fine. 580 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,800 And that is very fair to the kid to hear their side of the story as well. 581 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:50,400 But the number of conversations, unfortunately that we get back sometimes of like, well, 582 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,680 then he said that you said, and I'm like, yeah, I think so. 583 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:59,840 Just being a listening ear when they call with the problem and then reaching out in 584 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,680 the times when there are no problems because there's tons of kids who never have problems 585 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:03,680 at school. 586 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:10,060 But I think a encouraging email, phone call, a note, you're doing a good job. 587 00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,760 Thank you for being with my kid for seven. 588 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,400 I mean, my kids spend more time with their teachers and they do with me. 589 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,400 All of us, right? 590 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,240 Who send our kids to school, especially when they're little and they go to bed super early 591 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,600 once they get home. 592 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:26,920 So I think that that just, that connection between home and school is really important. 593 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,380 Some people can volunteer in schools. 594 00:29:28,380 --> 00:29:30,360 I couldn't, I was at school running my own. 595 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,520 I couldn't be at my kid's school, but I tried to reach out to their teachers and let them 596 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,440 know, like, I see you, I know it's hard. 597 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,800 I hope my kid's not hard, but yeah, probably are sometimes. 598 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,440 But I think it's that connection in anything that we do, that human connection. 599 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,280 Well, and I think that's good. 600 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:51,200 I know, we had talked about traditionally some of the things may have been because moms 601 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,480 were stay at home and so they could do a lot more of the volunteering. 602 00:29:54,480 --> 00:30:00,320 And I think that's good to know for those of us who can't come in during the day. 603 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,320 I have a full-time job. 604 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:02,880 My wife has a full-time job. 605 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:08,520 And so hers is a little bit flexible, but I can't necessarily come in and volunteer 606 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:09,520 during the day. 607 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,800 And so that's good to know some things like reaching out to your teachers, just out of 608 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,080 the random, just say, "Hey." 609 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:17,080 Good job. 610 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,080 You're encouraging them. 611 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,080 Yeah. 612 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,080 I see you. 613 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,080 Like we have two days before Thanksgiving break. 614 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,080 I see you. 615 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,080 Yeah. 616 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,320 And then the 15 days before Christmas break. 617 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:33,760 I mean, and I'll just say, you know, last week we did, or yeah, this past week, did 618 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,200 a Thanksgiving meal for our teachers, the PTO did. 619 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:46,440 And you want to see a teacher light up, bring in a hot meal for those people. 620 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,180 You know, that was the, I mean, one of the greatest things we did as a PTO was got warming 621 00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:54,440 plates for all the food that got brought in so that because now just right now everybody 622 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,520 gets down, can get down depending on the schedule down to the teacher's lounge at the same time. 623 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:03,280 But just some, I just say that as just some intentionality, there's a number of different 624 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,240 ways you can say, "Thank you." 625 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:13,640 And we've, again, as a PTO have just, a lot of it has just been the volunteer, like doing 626 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:19,840 specific asks for parent involvement, kind of creating another, another avenue for parent 627 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,920 involvement. 628 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:26,840 So we do like, this is an idea, like we do like do days of giving. 629 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,840 So like right around this time of year, like going into Christmas break, teachers are running 630 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,640 out of some stuff in classrooms and things like that. 631 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,520 So we just have them make lists of things that they're like the consumable stuff they're 632 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,000 running out of. 633 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,400 And hey, grab a few of these things, send it with your, send it with your kiddo. 634 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,240 That things like that. 635 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:50,080 It's easy for parents to dismiss that as small, as seemingly small sort of stuff. 636 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,400 The fact that it's done and that it comes in, I think says something. 637 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,400 I think that's amazing. 638 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:56,400 Yes. 639 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,400 And do it at the beginning of the year. 640 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,360 Like when you're buying your kids' school supplies anyway, just get extra. 641 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:05,040 And then if you're sending it in now, teachers would be, they're the most gracious people 642 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,040 I've ever met. 643 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,520 And they also, the smallest things make the biggest difference. 644 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,720 So yes, a hot meal or food that they didn't have to provide and I didn't have to pack 645 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:13,720 my lunch. 646 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,120 I think we all like it, but there is something about food in the teacher's lounge that makes 647 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,120 everybody better. 648 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,120 You whispered the word cinnamon rolls in the morning for breakfast. 649 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,120 People are like today, no tomorrow. 650 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,120 Okay. 651 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:25,640 But then they have something to look forward to. 652 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,220 So I think there are some things that cost money, but I think that there are lots of 653 00:32:29,220 --> 00:32:34,480 intangible things that don't cost any money that mean just as much. 654 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,520 I mean, a thank you note, like I said, I just think that words of affirmation are so many 655 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,200 people's love language anyway. 656 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:46,120 And so I think to know that somebody thought about them and sees them, I think that that 657 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,360 would be, that would just bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. 658 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,360 And that costs nothing. 659 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:52,360 Right. 660 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:53,360 Yeah. 661 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:59,980 When you sort of mentioned, I think this kind of relationship management that needs to occur 662 00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:08,500 between between parents and teachers and kind of a, I think a consideration that there are 663 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:13,780 multiple, multiple viewpoints and perspectives to have. 664 00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:18,420 And that, I mean, I don't know, I think as a parent, it's just fair to say, and I'm parents, 665 00:33:18,420 --> 00:33:20,660 I hope you hear and dads, I hope you hear this. 666 00:33:20,660 --> 00:33:25,940 Like I just, and I love my children, but I'm just going to assume that they're wrong. 667 00:33:25,940 --> 00:33:29,920 Most of the time, I'm just going to, I'm just going to assume that I'm going to take what 668 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:35,080 I know to be true about my regular experiences with my kids, that they are still navigating 669 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,080 life. 670 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,080 They're figuring things out. 671 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,080 They don't always get it right. 672 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,840 They have limited perspective of all on all of that. 673 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:47,160 And then I'm, and then when my kid says like, Oh, so-and-so is unfair, dot, dot, dot, I'm 674 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:51,300 just going to at least ask the, at least ask some, some priming questions of them. 675 00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:52,300 Right. 676 00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:58,020 And do the little, a little pre interrogation if possible of like, Oh, well, what did you, 677 00:33:58,020 --> 00:33:59,020 what'd you do? 678 00:33:59,020 --> 00:34:00,020 What'd you do? 679 00:34:00,020 --> 00:34:01,020 What'd you do first? 680 00:34:01,020 --> 00:34:02,020 What'd you say first? 681 00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,020 What did you say first? 682 00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:04,020 What did, how did you know? 683 00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:05,020 He started, I don't care who started it. 684 00:34:05,020 --> 00:34:06,020 What'd you say next? 685 00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:07,020 Yeah. 686 00:34:07,020 --> 00:34:08,020 Yeah. 687 00:34:08,020 --> 00:34:09,020 I think, I think all of that is true. 688 00:34:09,020 --> 00:34:12,380 I think that if we can, we can step back and dig down to what happened and maybe they made 689 00:34:12,380 --> 00:34:14,120 a wrong choice and maybe they didn't. 690 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:19,260 But I think just having that, that conversation with them at home and letting them know you 691 00:34:19,260 --> 00:34:22,580 don't always have to be wrong, but the school's not always wrong either, but we are going 692 00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:27,620 to get to the bottom of what happened and come to some kind of resolution. 693 00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:29,980 And it's not me just calling and defending you at school. 694 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:31,480 Cause I want to hear what the teacher had to say. 695 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:35,140 And I want to hear what, and it doesn't matter what happened to the other kid. 696 00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:40,320 I think that's really important because I want to talk to you, my kid at home. 697 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,820 For you as a principal, do you always keep it? 698 00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:47,280 Do you always, I'm just wondering, I'm wondering how the balance goes of the there's this, 699 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:53,500 that there is a possibility that the teacher missed something or, or messed up on this 700 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:56,220 one or, or whatever is that absolutely. 701 00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:57,220 Yeah, absolutely. 702 00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:04,640 And so I know like as a, as a boss, I'm always trying to be very, very cautious about like, 703 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,740 I'm never going to throw one of my staff members under the bus. 704 00:35:06,740 --> 00:35:10,660 I'm going to be respectful about all of those sorts of things. 705 00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:15,060 What have you found helpful in nav in kind of navigating the like, okay, I think we all 706 00:35:15,060 --> 00:35:22,380 need to say our sorrys or we need to navigate this and to come to a better conclusion. 707 00:35:22,380 --> 00:35:25,460 What, what is helpful in those conversations? 708 00:35:25,460 --> 00:35:27,660 What's what's first of mine for you? 709 00:35:27,660 --> 00:35:28,900 Everybody wants to be heard. 710 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,600 So that's, that's number one for me. 711 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,780 So the parent calls, I'm like, if you talk to the teacher, no. 712 00:35:33,780 --> 00:35:34,780 Okay. 713 00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:38,660 But I'm not, I typically, I know they're mad or they're upset or frustrated about something. 714 00:35:38,660 --> 00:35:42,340 So I usually like, why don't you tell me anyway, I want to know if they have, cause I want 715 00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:43,940 to know where we are as the boss. 716 00:35:43,940 --> 00:35:46,940 Like you did talk to the teacher and it didn't get taken care of. 717 00:35:46,940 --> 00:35:49,580 That's a different, that's a different problem for a different day. 718 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:54,100 But I also want that parent to tell me what happened because then I feel like I can diffuse 719 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,120 or ask a lot of those clarifying questions. 720 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,020 But then I, I typically don't have the answers for them. 721 00:35:59,020 --> 00:36:01,980 I'll find out, I will go figure it out. 722 00:36:01,980 --> 00:36:07,180 I will call you back, set in a time to, to circle back and then going and just like with 723 00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:09,020 our kids going and getting that other side of the story. 724 00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:12,540 Can you, can you explain what happened and can you tell me? 725 00:36:12,540 --> 00:36:15,240 And there's usually a little bit of truth to both. 726 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,220 And then I kind of find myself somewhere in the middle. 727 00:36:17,220 --> 00:36:23,100 But yeah, we have, we screw it up, we mess up, we, we forget, we make mistakes. 728 00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:26,780 But I think that we have to model that for our kids and our parents as well of like, 729 00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:28,300 yep, you're right. 730 00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:29,300 We missed it. 731 00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:33,380 We can, my, one of my favorite lines is we can always do better because I do, I believe 732 00:36:33,380 --> 00:36:34,380 it. 733 00:36:34,380 --> 00:36:36,660 I'm not just saying it, but we, and then that's my job. 734 00:36:36,660 --> 00:36:40,940 And then to circle back with the adult because sometimes it's better in teachers who made 735 00:36:40,940 --> 00:36:44,980 a mistake and other times it's those zero to five teachers who don't yet know. 736 00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:49,500 And they're so kind of say how nervous they are to talk to parents. 737 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:54,340 So nervous parent teacher conferences, phone calls, emails, how many people show up in 738 00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:58,700 my office with a shaking hand of like, I got this text and I don't sit down, let's talk 739 00:36:58,700 --> 00:37:03,180 out reminding them or teaching them for that first time of how to communicate. 740 00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:09,980 I just want to put yourself like you're 23 years old and like parents hear me on this 741 00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:19,180 and in 23, 24, whatever newer teacher, and you've got a schedule 25 to 30, 15 minute 742 00:37:19,180 --> 00:37:27,060 high impact, highly accurate, get to the point, but yet be cordial and open and all of that 743 00:37:27,060 --> 00:37:35,900 meetings with people who are twice, it could be twice your age could be, you know, like, 744 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:39,380 cause I have felt that with some new teachers when I'm going to sit down and I, I'm now 745 00:37:39,380 --> 00:37:43,540 again, I've been at this, I've been in this gig long enough from just, I'm just like, 746 00:37:43,540 --> 00:37:46,860 I'll just break the ice right away and be like, listen, you're, you're killing it. 747 00:37:46,860 --> 00:37:50,620 And you're one of, you're one of my kids' favorite teachers and we're just, we're just, 748 00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:54,460 Hey, thank you for taking, we're just glad to have the time with you. 749 00:37:54,460 --> 00:37:58,140 What can we do to, and that's always the, what can we do to help kind of, kind of question, 750 00:37:58,140 --> 00:38:10,400 but thinking about motivation, motivating our kids, getting them to have, getting them 751 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:11,700 to have motivation. 752 00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:15,100 Well, and I think as they get older, that's even more of a challenge. 753 00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:16,100 Yeah. 754 00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:21,900 When, well, you're, someone's, someone's got a little senioritis that he's trying to navigate 755 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:22,900 through. 756 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:31,740 And with the kid that just is like, I just feel like they don't want to learn. 757 00:38:31,740 --> 00:38:37,940 And I want them to at least like care enough to like do the work that they need to do. 758 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,460 And I'm so frustrated. 759 00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:42,220 I'm just so frustrated with my kid. 760 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:46,220 They just won't do the stuff. 761 00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,820 What what's going on, Carla? 762 00:38:47,820 --> 00:38:49,300 What can we do? 763 00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:51,780 Well, when you find out, let me know. 764 00:38:51,780 --> 00:38:54,660 I think, I think it's back to that. 765 00:38:54,660 --> 00:38:55,980 All kids learn differently. 766 00:38:55,980 --> 00:38:58,900 All kids are going to be who they are created to be. 767 00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:00,400 And that is all different. 768 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,960 And so they're not all going to college. 769 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,920 They're not all academic love school. 770 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,980 I've met plenty of kids and have one in my house who doesn't love school, but I think 771 00:39:08,980 --> 00:39:12,020 we have to continue to, what is your potential? 772 00:39:12,020 --> 00:39:13,820 What are we asking from you? 773 00:39:13,820 --> 00:39:15,980 What do we, what do we expect of you? 774 00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:17,940 We don't, we don't get D's and F's in my house. 775 00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:20,860 We just don't because you all can do better than that. 776 00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:25,380 And there's consequences for not doing that, but here's, here's where we are. 777 00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:28,460 So I think that finding that motivation, because what are they good at? 778 00:39:28,460 --> 00:39:34,260 I have a kid at school right now who, who he struggles academically. 779 00:39:34,260 --> 00:39:35,580 He's going to be the best adult. 780 00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:38,900 Like I cannot wait to see where he goes as an adult. 781 00:39:38,900 --> 00:39:43,380 He's the nicest kid and he's not, you're not dumb. 782 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:46,140 School's not, school's hard because he just doesn't love it. 783 00:39:46,140 --> 00:39:50,840 But I, I cannot wait to see where that kid is in 10 years because he's just smart and 784 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,380 in such a different way that has nothing to do with books. 785 00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,140 Your son who's an auto is my sons and autos too. 786 00:39:56,140 --> 00:40:00,900 I mean like finding something where he doesn't have to be at school every day, but he's getting 787 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:06,060 educated in a different way where he's learning something that's going to be useful in his 788 00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:07,060 life. 789 00:40:07,060 --> 00:40:11,900 He may not be a mechanic, but him finding something that's not behind a desk and the 790 00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:15,620 laptop or pencil and tests was huge for him. 791 00:40:15,620 --> 00:40:20,180 So I think finding our kids passions, letting them know school's important and you, you 792 00:40:20,180 --> 00:40:21,180 got to graduate, right? 793 00:40:21,180 --> 00:40:22,580 That's not an option in our house either. 794 00:40:22,580 --> 00:40:26,560 You're going to graduate, but after that you have so many choices, but how do we support 795 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,040 you along the way? 796 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,040 And every kid is different. 797 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:34,180 So if my first kid gets all A's, that's amazing, but my next kid may, may get B's and that's 798 00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:35,900 really the best they can do. 799 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:40,260 So I think recognizing that and then trying to avoid some of that comparison with our 800 00:40:40,260 --> 00:40:42,480 own, between our own kids. 801 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:48,160 So I think, I think supporting kids seems a little bit easier when they're, you know, 802 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:53,720 K through five, fifth grade, whatever, as they get older, that's a little bit tougher 803 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:58,680 to spend the time and doing things together as far as like reading and supporting their 804 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,140 education and all sorts of other stuff. 805 00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:05,960 What advice would you give for those of us who have kids in high school and junior high? 806 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:06,960 Right. 807 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,900 So I think high school and junior high, it becomes there. 808 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,540 We become involved in what they're doing. 809 00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:11,980 So I'm sitting in a lot of gyms. 810 00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:13,480 I'm attending lots of programs. 811 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,720 I'm watching that, you know, I saw you in the gym just this last week. 812 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:17,720 That's where we saw each other. 813 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:18,720 Right. 814 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,500 So I think that we are now joining in with them. 815 00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:24,980 So it's not so much motivated by mom says we're going to read or do this, but what are 816 00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:25,980 you doing? 817 00:41:25,980 --> 00:41:27,180 And then I'm, I'm going to be there. 818 00:41:27,180 --> 00:41:29,440 Our kids have known from very young age. 819 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,620 We can't, we won't be at everything. 820 00:41:31,620 --> 00:41:36,460 So we still love you, but we have other things that we're doing and we have three kids. 821 00:41:36,460 --> 00:41:38,900 So divide and conquer doesn't even always work. 822 00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:43,720 But I think joining them in those so that you have questions that you can ask and then 823 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:47,820 you know their friends and then your social group kind of becomes these families that 824 00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:49,660 you're spending all this time with. 825 00:41:49,660 --> 00:41:54,780 I think that that is the different kind of motivation to, when you danced this weekend 826 00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:59,020 for show choir was amazing and that, you know, and kind of providing that encouragement for 827 00:41:59,020 --> 00:42:02,420 them to keep, keep on keeping on in those things. 828 00:42:02,420 --> 00:42:06,140 And I got to do well enough in school so I can do those extracurricular things, at least 829 00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:08,140 at our house you do. 830 00:42:08,140 --> 00:42:09,140 Yeah. 831 00:42:09,140 --> 00:42:10,140 Yeah. 832 00:42:10,140 --> 00:42:15,240 So thinking about, cause you just touched on this, the idea and the understanding that 833 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:20,240 not every single one of our kids is going to go to college, that there are different 834 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,160 in public education, when is this shift? 835 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,700 Cause the shift has begun to happen and I'm wondering when it happened, what you think 836 00:42:26,700 --> 00:42:33,440 caused it, where we are now okay with having the, you don't have to go to college, you 837 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:39,000 know, traditional college or whatever it is after, after high school, what made that okay? 838 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:44,020 What made that, that seem or, cause not everybody has caught up to this yet, but like it is 839 00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:45,900 becoming more nor more normalized. 840 00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:50,780 And I'm, I mean, I is having one, at least one kid that I know is very much like, yeah. 841 00:42:50,780 --> 00:42:51,780 Yeah. 842 00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:52,780 And same for Andy. 843 00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:58,000 Like is, is very like, definitely has a clear skill set and things can, and I think is going 844 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:03,440 to be like, I really think a great successful person, but boy, oh boy, traditional four 845 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:04,440 year college. 846 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,680 Like I would not wish that upon him. 847 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:12,480 You know unless, unless he changes his mind or whatever, but like, it's not like I feel 848 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:16,060 like I've just got to ram this down his throat. 849 00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:17,360 What has caused the change? 850 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,640 What has caused, cause I'm, cause for, to you, for me to hear from a school administrator, 851 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:27,520 that that is an acceptable way of thinking, I think is a relatively new introduction into 852 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:28,520 education. 853 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:29,520 Right. 854 00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,560 So I think when the state changed some of their graduation pathways, I think that's 855 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:33,560 where it started. 856 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:37,660 The conversation started there, I would, I think for the most part. 857 00:43:37,660 --> 00:43:42,000 And then I think it's just seeing kids go to college and making it a semester and then 858 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,000 coming back home. 859 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,680 And then they felt like failures. 860 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,080 They felt like I wasn't good at that. 861 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:48,080 I didn't do it. 862 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,960 I was, and then everybody's like, well, what are you doing home? 863 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:54,040 Like having all these people ask these questions and then they just were like, well, no, I 864 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,360 don't, I don't know what to do. 865 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:59,600 And also I think it's because we don't have qualified workers who are ready to go into 866 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,840 all of these trades. 867 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:06,600 And so I think trades are doing a good job and schools are doing a much better job of 868 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,080 getting kids out and about. 869 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:14,600 So Andy and I both have sons in autos, but, um, senior year of my kids since my, I mean, 870 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:18,560 I think we've been doing it at Fairfield, gosh, five or six years, the senior year, 871 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,560 they can do work-based learning. 872 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,160 And I think that has been huge as well. 873 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:28,360 But again, it came about as started getting high school credits in junior high. 874 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,760 By the time you got to your senior year, you were almost done. 875 00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,780 My daughter needs two credits this year. 876 00:44:33,780 --> 00:44:35,080 So she's doing work-based learning. 877 00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,360 Then she goes to school in the afternoon. 878 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:42,740 And I think providing some of those options gave kids the opportunity at 17 and 18 years 879 00:44:42,740 --> 00:44:48,160 old to make some decisions about what I want, what I want to do. 880 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:53,080 But also we talk a lot about it in our house of like, everything is, everything is really 881 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:54,080 on the table. 882 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,040 You really could, but what do you not want to do? 883 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,760 And so go try some of these things and be like, I don't want to do that. 884 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:02,120 I don't want to put on a tool belt and go outside and work every day in the cold. 885 00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,120 Okay. 886 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,400 Well that's now we know one more thing you don't want to do. 887 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:10,420 So I think having those conversations, but I, I think that skilled workers and we just 888 00:45:10,420 --> 00:45:11,420 need them. 889 00:45:11,420 --> 00:45:13,560 And so I think we need them at 18. 890 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,800 And they will make, and they will make a lot of money. 891 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,300 This is the, this is the other thing. 892 00:45:18,300 --> 00:45:25,780 Like I, I just, um, you know, I, I probably have said this before, but there was back 893 00:45:25,780 --> 00:45:30,740 in the day when I worked with a lot of con with a lot of contractors in the job that 894 00:45:30,740 --> 00:45:36,000 I had, and this was in like, um, like floor flooring, what they call coverings industry, 895 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,180 flooring skilled tile people, things like that. 896 00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:41,400 I didn't have, I was in sales. 897 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:48,920 I didn't have a client that was under the age of 35 at the, at the time, like no, like 898 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,500 no young people. 899 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:54,360 And so, and then one day this guy walks in, he was from, he's from Middlebury, he's 20 900 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,080 years old. 901 00:45:56,080 --> 00:46:00,280 And I find out that he's, so he's taking up all these jobs that these larger, like older 902 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:05,780 contractors don't like, don't want to touch whatever this kid was clearing at 19 years 903 00:46:05,780 --> 00:46:08,480 old, he was making $80,000 a year. 904 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:09,480 Right. 905 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:15,240 And probably not even doing the best work, but still like he was, he had, he had, he 906 00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:18,880 had done an apprenticeship for eight for a year after, after high school under, under 907 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,720 somebody who knew, knew the trade and had just like picked up this business and, you 908 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:27,240 know, got himself a business card and a Facebook page and was, and was working all over Northern 909 00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:28,240 Indiana here. 910 00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:33,040 And I think people who are willing to train young people and do apprenticeships or internships 911 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,600 and then pay for their schooling and will, will pay for that certification or whatever 912 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,600 else that you need. 913 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:41,480 I think that that is huge too, because then you can guarantee what your employees are 914 00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,940 going to be able to do because you provided the training. 915 00:46:43,940 --> 00:46:44,940 And I think that that's amazing. 916 00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:52,600 But yeah, I think this age gap of my husband's going to be 49 and he works in construction 917 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,960 and he will still say, and has said for almost 20 years now, he's the youngest guy on the 918 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:57,960 job. 919 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:58,960 Guess what? 920 00:46:58,960 --> 00:46:59,960 He still is. 921 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:00,960 Yeah. 922 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:01,960 Wow. 923 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:02,960 Yeah. 924 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,680 Like he, like there's just not a lot of people who are really young who are going into like, 925 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,160 yes, I want to, I want to do this. 926 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:08,920 I'm going to do this skilled work. 927 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,800 And they're going to be able to, I mean, the need is going to be so high. 928 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,760 They're going to be able to name their, their own price. 929 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,120 They're going to be able to, and quite honestly, they're going to be able to name their own 930 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:17,920 hours even increasingly. 931 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:24,080 So I just had a conversation with another, with a, with a guy who owns an HVAC company. 932 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,400 And again, said right out of high school, you can come apprentice with him. 933 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:28,400 You're going to work. 934 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:29,400 Now, here's the deal. 935 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,520 You don't work 60 hours a week the first three years. 936 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,340 And so that's the other, I think that's the other piece that we have to be talking with 937 00:47:36,340 --> 00:47:39,960 our kids about is just the nature of work. 938 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:44,360 I think something has gotten sideways on this. 939 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,360 I can become an influencer. 940 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:51,320 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to work like anybody that's trying to sell you the 20 hour 941 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:56,440 work week or whatever, especially when you were young, it's like, it's like, no, so it's 942 00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:00,420 going to be work, but it is going to be meaningful work. 943 00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:04,160 It's going to be, you're going to be kind of charting the charting your own course. 944 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:09,400 And you're going to be able to call the shots in a, in a much more distinct sort of distinct 945 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,400 sort of way. 946 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:17,440 And I think those things are helpful to be thinking about and we can start to be having 947 00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:21,280 those conversations and learning, learning the things that we need to learn about good 948 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:26,040 about just the nature of work in school right now in school and at home. 949 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,000 And I think that those are the, those are the kinds of life lessons that I think that 950 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:34,840 you, we, yes, we can enforce at school, reinforce at school, but I think it's that work ethic 951 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:38,560 that you're going to probably get at home. 952 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:39,560 And yeah, I agree, Joel. 953 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:44,320 I think that this whole idea of our kids don't get our lives. 954 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:50,720 We've worked a long time to get to get the house we have and the cars we're driving, 955 00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:51,720 you know what I mean? 956 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:52,720 And the vacations. 957 00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:57,960 And I think, wow, I wasn't taking, I wasn't taking a Mexico trip when I was, you know, 958 00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,360 for my fifth year anniversary. 959 00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:00,360 Yeah. 960 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:01,360 Right. 961 00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,360 We worked, I mean, well, like I graduated into the recession. 962 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:04,360 I'm going to be 41. 963 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:05,360 Andy's a little bit older. 964 00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,360 Not much. 965 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,360 Me too. 966 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,360 Mom, but we'll learn both of you then. 967 00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,400 I had, you know, I was working, me and my wife were working two jobs before we had kids. 968 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,080 We were working two jobs. 969 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:21,760 And like it was, it was hard and it was a lot of, it was work and it was late nights 970 00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,760 and it was things like that, which is, again, it's like you're in your, we were, we were 971 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:25,760 in our early twenties. 972 00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,800 It's like, what a better time to do that than then. 973 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:33,460 But you know, my kids don't get like, and I'm, I'm even struggling now to like help 974 00:49:33,460 --> 00:49:37,120 my kids understand that we'll have, we'll tell them these stories of like, yeah, you 975 00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:42,120 know how mom and I have like one job right now, each like we used to have two, right. 976 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:46,080 And we would go to a normal job the first, like first half of the day. 977 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:50,880 And then we had these other rando jobs that we would take in weird, weird hours or whatever 978 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,280 so that we could survive. 979 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,520 And so that we could, so you may remember that first house that you guys, when we were 980 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,360 born where we were, how do you think that happened? 981 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,560 And, and try and tell those stories a little bit more. 982 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:05,760 But the fact that the also like, it wasn't always like, it wasn't easy. 983 00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:11,000 No, we, we at our house, we say we call it work for a reason because you actually have 984 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,000 to do something. 985 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,320 You actually might have to work. 986 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,480 It's not always easy. 987 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:23,380 And so yeah, 60 hour weeks are hard and learning a new trade is hard and sticking it out when 988 00:50:23,380 --> 00:50:27,360 you're unhappy or it's a bad day is hard. 989 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:28,360 But honorable. 990 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,360 Yeah, correct. 991 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:33,600 And the, the satisfaction you can get out of a hard day's work, whether it's manual 992 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,880 labor or just using your brain is amazing. 993 00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:40,980 Well, and I think that's one of the reasons that I've loved the whole programs that Fairfield 994 00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:45,680 has as far as, you know, all of the stuff that they do with all of their schools and 995 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:50,280 they get a chance to do like welding and all sorts of fun stuff that they can see, okay, 996 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,340 this is for me, this isn't for me. 997 00:50:53,340 --> 00:50:54,960 And I know growing up, I never had that. 998 00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:55,960 Right. 999 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:56,960 I just went to school. 1000 00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:57,960 And that's a big shout out. 1001 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:01,720 I mean, our, again, for listeners not immediately near us. 1002 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:08,880 So Fairfield junior high, senior high, you know, just on the edge of kind of a larger 1003 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,360 town, but serving more of a, a little bit more of a rural population out in the, out 1004 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:17,800 in the country, but really serving, I would say educating to where a lot of the students 1005 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:21,240 are, a lot of these kids, they're a lot of farm, you know, agriculture, farm kids, kids 1006 00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:25,800 that are, they have parents that are in, are in various trades and things like that. 1007 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:31,640 And you know, I, I, I'm so, so grateful for it because it's like, I know my kid, I mean, 1008 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:36,600 the, the idea that, that his high school experience will actually be preparing him where he'll 1009 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,000 have in terms of like trainings and certifications. 1010 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:45,520 I mean, he can almost really go immediately, right out of, out of high school and go start, 1011 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,440 start a meaningful profession. 1012 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,200 And I think that's, and I love, I love that for our kids, but I think that's hard too, 1013 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:53,360 because then I'm also like, I don't want you to go work 40, 60 hours a week when you're 1014 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,360 19 years old. 1015 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,760 I want you to be a kid and have some experience. 1016 00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:03,200 So then talking about that the world is bigger than this place and, and money and work and, 1017 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,160 and do the things that you want to do when you're, when you're younger. 1018 00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:07,160 Yeah. 1019 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,160 Yeah. 1020 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:14,480 Um, thinking about, uh, kind of my last question here, thinking about resources that parents 1021 00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:20,200 can pursue to help their kids learn, um, things that are out there. 1022 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:24,560 Um, it's like, man, okay, I want to help my, I, okay, I know I need to do a better job 1023 00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:29,960 of this maybe, or I need to be a little more dialed into my child's education as education, 1024 00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:33,960 apart from direct conversations with teachers, which we, we want to say yes, yes, yes. 1025 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:37,640 Again and again and again, have that conversation with a teacher. 1026 00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:42,720 Um, but apart from that, what are some other things that kind of come to your mind? 1027 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:46,600 Can maybe parents could train themselves up a little bit on? 1028 00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,840 Yeah, I think it depends on what your kid needs, right? 1029 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:53,080 If your kid actually needs some extra support and tutoring, then there that is available. 1030 00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:54,360 You have to go find it. 1031 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:58,600 There are tutoring resources out there that you can, you can look into. 1032 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,920 Some schools have teachers who are willing to tutor on the side. 1033 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:07,860 Um, Sylvan center, there's different places that you can find that specific support. 1034 00:53:07,860 --> 00:53:11,880 And then I think some of the other stuff is the kids are going to be on devices and we, 1035 00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:12,880 we just know they are. 1036 00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:14,480 That's another show for another day. 1037 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,680 Um, but I think that if they're going to be on their, on their devices, there are lots 1038 00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:23,440 of places to, I don't know, trick them into reading like, right? 1039 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,240 Like if you don't want to read a real book, then you can read on, read on your device. 1040 00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:29,520 And I think that that gives like, you can have some extra screen time as long as you're 1041 00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:30,520 reading. 1042 00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,680 Definitely lots of websites, resources, those kinds of things. 1043 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:39,240 Again, teachers will give you that best list that kind of match what they're doing in school. 1044 00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:44,680 Um, and I think it's that extra practice is, is important, but if they're, if they're doing 1045 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,920 okay at school, right? 1046 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:51,000 If they're really turning in their work and trying their best at home, it really boils 1047 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:57,340 down to me to those conversations that family time that turn off the TV and all the devices 1048 00:53:57,340 --> 00:53:58,760 and sit down and have dinner together. 1049 00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:04,680 Some of those things that seem like back in the day when we were kids, we ate dinner together. 1050 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:08,820 I really think that that's just as important to home than reading and doing a little extra 1051 00:54:08,820 --> 00:54:09,820 math. 1052 00:54:09,820 --> 00:54:13,420 Plenty of studies out there about family, family, well being human flourishing connected 1053 00:54:13,420 --> 00:54:17,260 to daily or daily or weekly dinner time. 1054 00:54:17,260 --> 00:54:19,260 There's that, that is for sure. 1055 00:54:19,260 --> 00:54:20,260 For sure thing. 1056 00:54:20,260 --> 00:54:21,260 Awesome. 1057 00:54:21,260 --> 00:54:24,100 Well, Carla, this has been a great conversation. 1058 00:54:24,100 --> 00:54:25,680 Mom, very excited to be here. 1059 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:26,680 Thanks for having me. 1060 00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:27,680 Thanks. 1061 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:33,880 But obviously before we let any of our guests go, and now it's time for the dudes and dads 1062 00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:34,880 pop quiz. 1063 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,600 These are all the great questions that we come up with. 1064 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:41,640 Oh, and thank you Reagan, by the way, for that one wonderful voiceover. 1065 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:43,680 Reagan's actually in the, in the studio. 1066 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:45,680 She actually texted me and said, can I ask a question? 1067 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:51,280 Oh, so Reagan gets, Reagan gets to ask principal Carla the first, the first question on the 1068 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,280 pop quiz. 1069 00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:53,280 Reagan, are you ready? 1070 00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:54,280 Okay. 1071 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,440 I'm going to ask my first question while you can get ready. 1072 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:58,440 Okay. 1073 00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:03,820 Carla, uh, Thanksgiving, just a few days away. 1074 00:55:03,820 --> 00:55:08,440 What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish? 1075 00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:09,800 Two parter. 1076 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,360 And what is the worst thing that you have ever eaten at the Thanksgiving dinner? 1077 00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,280 Oh, this is actually the same, the same answer. 1078 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:17,280 Oh, okay. 1079 00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,280 Sweet. 1080 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,000 So my, God bless my mother. 1081 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,080 She made sweet potatoes when we were growing up, which I despised. 1082 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:32,160 I didn't enjoy the texture, but then the brown sugar and the marshmallow and the, no, hated 1083 00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:33,160 it, hated it. 1084 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:37,840 But my favorite Thanksgiving food now, sweet potato casserole. 1085 00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,560 So I don't know if I've just grown up or we just have a better recipe. 1086 00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:41,560 I don't know. 1087 00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,560 I got over the texture maybe too, but that would be my favorite thing. 1088 00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,680 That's a great Thanksgiving come back story. 1089 00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:48,680 Yes. 1090 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:49,680 Right. 1091 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:50,680 Fantastic. 1092 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:51,680 Okay. 1093 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:52,680 Reagan. 1094 00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:53,680 Okay. 1095 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:54,680 You gotta get, you gotta get, you gotta get on the mic. 1096 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:55,680 All right. 1097 00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:56,680 There you go. 1098 00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:57,680 What do you consider your greatest achievement? 1099 00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:58,680 Oh my goodness. 1100 00:55:58,680 --> 00:55:59,680 I thought this was a fun pop quiz. 1101 00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:05,880 Like, um, well, because talking about education, I could talk about my kids. 1102 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,080 That probably is my greatest achievement. 1103 00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:11,640 I do love my kids, my personal children, but I think my greatest achievement would be the 1104 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:17,840 over, I don't know, do the math, 25 years times 500 kids. 1105 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:18,840 Geez. 1106 00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,840 And, and some of my schools were over 700. 1107 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,680 So I think that's my greatest achievement. 1108 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,880 I hope I am truly leaving a legacy for those kids. 1109 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,960 Um, I don't have a relationship with every single one of them. 1110 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:34,560 Um, but I hope that they know how to respect authority and respect adults, but have relationship 1111 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:36,560 with somebody who truly, truly cares about them. 1112 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:39,000 And I do love my job and going every day. 1113 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,000 Awesome. 1114 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,000 Okay. 1115 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,160 Carla, what book should Andy and I be reading right now? 1116 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,440 Dude, that's literally the one that I was going to pull. 1117 00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,240 Oh, well, I beat you to it. 1118 00:56:48,240 --> 00:56:49,240 Sucker. 1119 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:51,800 Have you read the anxious generation? 1120 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,800 This is on the list. 1121 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:53,800 Yeah, I've yes. 1122 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:54,800 Excellent. 1123 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:59,320 Listen, there's lots of graphs and charts in it, but it really is a good audio book 1124 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,320 as well. 1125 00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:01,920 Um, but you can also read it. 1126 00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:02,920 I did both. 1127 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,920 So the anxious generation. 1128 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:05,920 Okay. 1129 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:06,920 Oh, that's totally Andy's thunder. 1130 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,480 I got to look for a new one. 1131 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:10,480 All right. 1132 00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:15,520 If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 1133 00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:22,240 Um, I wish I would have learned well, how to speak a different language. 1134 00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:23,240 Oh, good one. 1135 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,240 Yeah. 1136 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:25,240 Yeah. 1137 00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:26,240 Nice. 1138 00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:34,200 Uh, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you while it's while at school 1139 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,160 as a child or as an adult? 1140 00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:40,160 We're going to say as an adult. 1141 00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:41,160 Okay. 1142 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,400 Listen, I hate to be embarrassed. 1143 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,720 I avoided it at all costs at all costs. 1144 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:55,800 So I really, I probably being late, like, you know, like staff meeting or early morning 1145 00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:59,080 meeting and you're like walking in and you're like, yep, but I preach it all of you for 1146 00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:01,160 being here all the time. 1147 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:02,160 And here I am. 1148 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,160 Yeah. 1149 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:04,160 Sure. 1150 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:05,120 Beautiful. 1151 00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:06,120 All right. 1152 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:10,120 My last question, if there was a sandwich named after you, what would be on it? 1153 00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,000 Like there's a Carla Hosteler sandwich. 1154 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,000 What would you put on it? 1155 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,520 I'm going to go down to the deli in order to the Carla. 1156 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:17,520 What's what's on it? 1157 00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:18,520 Okay. 1158 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,080 So I'm going to give a little shout out to old style deli in Elkhart. 1159 00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,080 Yes. 1160 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,080 My favorite sandwich. 1161 00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:24,140 Oh my gosh. 1162 00:58:24,140 --> 00:58:30,080 Which is the grilled Turkey spinach and then this amazing mustard. 1163 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,080 Ooh. 1164 00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:32,080 Yeah. 1165 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:33,080 Not too horseradishy though. 1166 00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,080 Cause I don't like horseradish sauce on it. 1167 00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:35,080 It's grilled and it's yeah. 1168 00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:36,080 Some kind of cheese. 1169 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:37,080 I don't know. 1170 00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:38,080 Amazing. 1171 00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,080 It's old style deli. 1172 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:40,080 You got a last one? 1173 00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,080 Tom Terrific I think is what it's called. 1174 00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,080 Oh, not the Carla. 1175 00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,080 Not the Carla. 1176 00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:46,080 We'll just call it Tom. 1177 00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:47,080 It should be. 1178 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:48,080 My final question. 1179 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:52,920 I'll do the zombie question. 1180 00:58:52,920 --> 00:59:00,840 Of all of your family members, who, who lasts the longest in a zombie apocalypse? 1181 00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,400 I think my son Mosey lasts the longest. 1182 00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:03,720 He's just going to, he's going to outrun them all. 1183 00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:04,720 He's going to outrun them. 1184 00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:10,720 He's fast and he can run forever. 1185 00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:11,720 It's the Ethiopian thing. 1186 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:12,720 It is. 1187 00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,720 Totally. 1188 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:14,720 It's absolutely a thing. 1189 00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:15,720 That or Kenyan. 1190 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:16,720 It's that or Kenyan. 1191 00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:17,720 One or the other. 1192 00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,440 Just a skill, a skill set. 1193 00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:21,180 Well, Hey Carla, congratulations. 1194 00:59:21,180 --> 00:59:23,520 You have officially passed with flying colors. 1195 00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:24,520 Thank you. 1196 00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,020 Would you tell me if I failed? 1197 00:59:26,020 --> 00:59:28,420 No one's ever failed. 1198 00:59:28,420 --> 00:59:31,840 So if you were the first, if you were the first one, no, we would, we would, we would 1199 00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:33,840 admit that. 1200 00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,960 And he's like, yeah, we'd tell him. 1201 00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:37,960 Awesome. 1202 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:38,960 Awesome. 1203 00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:39,960 Awesome. 1204 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:40,960 Well, Hey everybody. 1205 00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:41,960 Thanks again for hanging out with us. 1206 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:45,480 If you've got any great ideas for future shows, harsh criticisms, questions, whatever, send 1207 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:50,240 them on over to the dudes and dads podcast@gmail.com. 1208 00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,720 We also love hearing voicemail, which we don't hardly ever get any of. 1209 00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:55,400 People leave us a voicemail. 1210 00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,480 5 7 4 2 1 3 8 7 0 2 Reagan sent me one the other day. 1211 00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:00,480 Thanks Reagan. 1212 01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:01,480 But was it a fake one? 1213 01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:02,480 She's going to call right now. 1214 01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:03,480 She's going to call right now. 1215 01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:04,480 Leave a message. 1216 01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:11,040 Hey, you can check out this show and all the other good stuff over at dudesanddads.com. 1217 01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:15,680 And if you want to get yourself some awesome merchandise, merch.dudesanddads.com. 1218 01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:16,680 Get the shirts. 1219 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,680 They're lovely. 1220 01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:18,680 They're soft. 1221 01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,200 They're comfy and oh so attractive. 1222 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:22,200 Okay. 1223 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,440 Hey, until next time friends, we wish you grace and peace.