We are here to talk about when values meet reality and within

businesses, there's this idea of having company values and that's really

gonna guide how the company works.

But what does that mean in practice particularly?

If you are the company and there you are, a company of

one, what does that mean?

So we are gonna do a little bit of an exploration with Stephanie here,

who's part of our Happy startup community, who's part of the Vision

2020 program, and, and just unpick and unpack for ourselves what that means

and hopefully for Stephanie, so that you'll get something out of it as well.

well the first thing that comes to mind is why me and Carlos started thinking

about values in the per first place.

And, and the first thing that came to mind was actually when we

had our first hire in our agency.

This is God, God knows how many years ago now?

Probably like 17 years ago or something crazy.

Um, and the interesting thing about that was.

Uh, because we've been friends for so long before we set up

in business together, I don't think we'd ever sat down.

Well, I know we hadn't sat down and say, what are our values?

You know, it's not something you do as friends necessarily.

Maybe people do, but we weren't that enlightened.

but then I, I realized.

When we were looking to hire someone, there was an element of

what traits are we looking for in someone else that we wanna bring

in to the company that we're in.

And so this idea of actually what's the create, what's

the culture we wanna create?

What's the vibe we wanna create?

What what traits, what values are we looking for in this person that we

wanna bring into the, to the company?

So I think that in some ways made us look back and say,

actually what are we about?

Like, not what would we like to be?

What have we done up till now?

And I'm a believer in there's a line that's put out.

Values are what you do, not what you say you do.

And I'm a believer in that.

So not for, and not to be an aspirational thing, but to

be a actually what do we do?

How do we live this?

Rather than we were talking the other day and Stephanie, how do we laminate

this, really living these values?

So I remember that's what led up me and Carlos to start thinking about

this seriously, was sitting down on the beach and working out what are

we about, what's the DNA of our.

Our business, even if it's just me and you and starting

to think about this seriously.

So yeah, that set us on the path.

We can dig a bit more maybe into how that played out over the years.

for me, the, um, experience that really came up strongly in this, you know,

prompting around values and how it collides with business is an experience

that I had with a, a previous client and having the, to make the decision of

do I continue with this client or not?

I would say it was really a moment of defining, okay, is this something

that still connects with me?

Is it something that is important for me?

Do I really care about this?

Cause, um, is this.

You know, a, a good exchange of my time and energy.

So there was a lot of recalibrating that had to happen before I decided to say,

okay, then this is not for me anymore.

It might be that at the time that I was working with them, um, that

it was, you know, fulfilling.

Um, the values that I had and, um, the needs that I had at the moment yet,

you know, after working with them for some time, I realized that it was not.

Uh, incongruent, you know, incongruence anymore with, um, the values and

how I would want to show up in life.

So there is an element here for me of that.

Values are the, you know, are, I would say, are concepts that we iterate and

recalibrate depending on the context and depending on, who we are, where we

are, and the, you know, the timeframe that we are in that given moment.

Um, there compasses, yes.

At the same time there, I, I would say there's a, an element

here of it's, it's not a static, concept or theme that we hold?

And, uh, and that was, for me, that was that experience of realizing the

incongruence that I had with a client.

Uh, so I've been.

Backing and forth with Stephanie on, on these ideas of values, and also

had a conversation this morning, which has helped me clarify my own sort of

experience or relationship to them.

So in terms of a story, the story that came up actually was while we

were running, um, spook Studio, the digital agency, uh, I was approached

by someone who used, who worked for a company called Autonomy.

And now, if you know, remember, it was quite, it was one of the biggest.

Tech companies in the uk.

Uh, and I had experience with that software and they were

asking me if I wanted to become, join them as a consultant.

Lots of money.

It was a place where, um, basically you had to be really clever.

I'm not blowing around trumpet, but there's just like, I have value,

there's a value around learning a value around intelligence, a value

about really cutting edge thinking.

The.

Really attracted me to that kind of work because it was really,

basically it was the early stages of AI commercializing AI technology.

I was like, whoa, that'd be amazing to be in.

And I recognized a need for connection, a need for, I think

I was gonna, I call it safety.

and that's need.

Was met by working with Lawrence, and so this is where values and needs

for me was an interesting sort of like connection here, because the

need wasn't an articulated thing.

It was visceral.

It was like, sounds like a great idea, but it doesn't feel right.

I. Mm-hmm.

And values were, yeah, there are words that are kind of like, yeah,

I'd love to be this kind of person.

This is the kind of way I wanna be.

But it wasn't as deep in a sense.

Well, I hadn't integrated basically the needs with the values as much, and

so that was like a, I wouldn't say a sliding doors moment, 'cause it wasn't

like a 50 50 or this, but there's a real strong, all right, I value

this kind of work, but I need this.

And that need was important.

And I would say, you know, I, I felt I've met the, the right choice

because the needs have now turned into values, needs for connection.

My values are community.

I value community.

I really believe in the idea of community.

And I've worked out more and more why those two things work together and why.

This business called the Happy Startup School, the way it's working at the

moment makes so much sense to me.

Stephanie,

Yeah, I, I think I asked the question initially because for me, sometimes

all these sort of terms and, and, um, ideas like needs, values, beliefs, um,

standards, all that stuff can get a bit.

Like heady, and I always need to find some way to embody it, uh,

because otherwise I don't necessarily see the value in these things.

and so that's what sort of prompted my question as to, okay, you have

this Happy Manifesto manifesto, and, um, it looks, it looks amazing and it

looks a lot like fun, but sometimes these things when they're literally

laminated and they're sort of.

Static.

It takes away the dynamism of it.

Um, and it takes away sort of the, the living aspect of it.

And so these examples already give me such, uh, a good insight in how

to sort of work with those things for yourself as a sort of guiding

principle to, to come back to when maybe things are unclear and then

you're like, oh, what should I do?

What should I choose?

But I'm getting also clear on the fact that this remains a bodily experience,

which sometimes I think it's interesting and important and helpful to be able

to articulate it or to maybe find words around them so you can come

back to them and you don't necessarily have to do the whole process.

every time that you, you might be struggling with something, but

again, it, it is a, a living thing.

It's a moving thing.

And, um, especially when you work with others, maybe within one team

or one company, I can imagine it's very, good to have that sort of.

place where you can come back to almost to see like, oh, wait a second,

there's friction, or We're struggling.

How come, are we still aligned?

And do we still value the same things because it's already quite, I think,

challenging or maybe it's a good challenge to have to get clear on your

own values, uh, let alone, uh, having to, to sort of get clear on, on this

with when working with a group or within a company, to me, sometimes.

That can get, uh, confusing really quickly because I do love to

question things and, um, yeah.

And so having this discussion about why, like maybe even

taking a step back as to.

Why to begin with, is it important or valuable to get clear on your values?

Like, why do we have to do that?

Is that, and what is the difference between needs and values?

Like we had a little talk, uh, before Carlos, like maybe

they're the same or maybe one is the expression of the other.

And how is that, um.

How can that work together?

How can you create a framework so that it can work for you instead of you being

imprisoned maybe by these things that we call values and then thinking we have

to live up to the values when they might not even be important for us anymore.

So in my brain, loss is always happening and uh, um, uh, that's what

what prompted the question and I.

one of the things that really comes up strongly for me in, in this

conversation around values is, um, to not get into binary thinking.

And I think that's one of the pitfalls that we often experience when

we're, you know, when we're talking about values or when we're talking

about needs, it's like a, it's an either or, it, it needs to be this

or, or, or it, it cannot be this.

And that, for me has been an unlearning process for me to think of values as,

accompaniment to the different parts.

So different parts of me might value different things.

And I value different practices.

And in any given moment that I'm engaging or interacting with another

person or an organization, you know, the importance of values is to help

me to be incongruence with, um, is this how I'd want to show up in life?

And, um, another question that I ask for myself is, is this what I care about?

Are these people who I care about?

Um, so it helps me to realign with, um, before getting into an agreement.

Am I in a full yes to something?

And this is where the body, uh, the, the somatic practice is very

important because then it, I lean into what is my body telling me?

but for me, again, going back to that parts, you know, the idea of different

parts might have different values and different needs, and at any given

moment, the priorities shift based on You know what, what is needed?

And for me there's this, uh, I would say.

Um, the use of compromise is somewhat tricky, but there is, for

me an understanding of, you know, what am I willing to pursue at that

moment that is within my capacity.

Mm-hmm.

So say for example, if, you know, working with a client is not really

fully aligned yet financially you are, you know, you really need it.

Then my question for myself would be, okay, till how long can I take this on?

That, you know, makes me, be in integrity with myself.

Hmm.

So that's a part, right?

That's a part that's speaking to the financial needs.

There's a part that's speaking to being in integrity.

There's a part that's speaking to, um, time and how long can I continue this?

So I see.

The interplay of values is in the interplay of also

of our different parts.

And what I'm also hearing you say is that it helps you to sort of

prioritize, to really sort of get clear on what is my need now, if there's,

if there's some sort of urgency at play, like what do I need to value now?

Or not value maybe, but what do I need to do now, um, to get moving

without necessarily forgetting about the other things that you value?

There's a sort of like immediacy, short term, long

term play that I hear you say.

And you live your values by actually reflecting on them and asking the

questions are basically the values.

Right.

Because the, the type of questions that you're asking yourself,

they showcase what you value.

And self-reflection is one of them, I think if, if I'm hearing this correctly.

I kind of feel similar to what Tatiana has put in the chat here that.

From my perspective, I think of values is not changing a lot.

Actually, more about like who we are and how.

How we wanna be in the world.

Um, and I know this can change over life, but I see need to

something that changes more.

So, and Lala's talking about like, what is it our value at this point?

I would see that or view that personally as a need and needs

changing throughout lifetime.

Throughout my phases, my kids are growing up.

There's, different needs that I have at this point in my life than I did two

years ago even because, you know, the circumstances around me are changing.

whereas I would see my values evolving but not changing as radically.

I personally find values really useful as a language to use,

like you said, Stephanie, as a way to connect to people.

So whether it's people on your team like me and Carlos as co-founders,

us hiring our first, um, recruit.

The manifesto is there to connect us to the people that we wanna serve.

And so it's a language to say, this is what I believe in,

or we believe in, are you in?

So it becomes a filter, a way to mm-hmm.

Um, filter in the people that we want and filter out the people that we don't

necessarily think that will be part of our world, part of our community.

So, there is a danger, like you said, Stephanie, that.

And I'm sure lots of us have worked in companies where there's

a culture program, there's a values piece, and it just gets done and

no one really believes in it.

It feels connected to it.

So some of us are a bit blinded by this work, and also I believe

it is powerful when it comes from.

our authentic self.

So people that come through our community have something to offer

and they need to find a way to tell that story to others in a way

that connects to their own, um, source of creativity and energy.

So I find it useful as a way to find like-minded people.

Now, that's not to say that that might evolve over time.

but yeah, I would say the, the tricky thing I've found is like I haven't

refreshed my values as an individual.

Over the last few years, but I've definitely refreshed my needs.

So I think that's a process to, to unravel.

See, I'm curious about that whole thing about needs and how they change.

cause I have a belief that there are core emotional needs

that will never change for me.

Um, they will play maybe different roles and priorities in my life.

But they're always there and there are some things that will

always be very important to me.

and for me, this idea, so like this idea, what's the

point of articulating values?

Why, why do we do that?

Is, is the, our question I, I heard, and so there's two aspects to this.

I, I wanted to tackle firstly from like an organizational perspective.

How do we work at scale?

And when I say at scale, it's just more than two people.

You know, how are we gonna work out?

Where are we going?

What are we doing?

How, because like in a, in a, in an ideal world, we're all kind of, uh,

telepaths and we know exactly where everyone's coming from, but if we

don't articulate, we don't signify the thoughts in our heads, then

no one will know what's going on.

And so you end up going in different directions.

And nothing gets done.

You don't build the bridge, you don't build the business,

you don't do anything because everyone's like wanting to go in.

You know, they all just want to do the design, but they don't necessarily wanna

put the bricks on top of the bricks.

So there's an aspect of this, of like, how do we come together?

And if you want to come together, this is the thing.

lovely thing is that you don't need to articulate your values

if you live purely day by day.

for someone I think who is driven so intrinsically and

they, and they are well, and some enlightened person's like, you

know, I feel like doing this today.

I feel like if you in that space, I don't think you need to articulate

your values, but if you are interacting with someone else and you

suddenly change your mind and they say, why are you change your mind.

It's like, well, because, and it is like, oh, because, and you go off.

He's like, well, then either you don't value their opinion or how they are.

Um, or you wanna say, do you know what, for me this thing is

important And when I say this thing is important, that's the value.

You know, I, my to travel is important.

To be at home is important to, I have.

Safety is important.

To be in community is important.

To be mindful of the environment is important.

But then to just suddenly lay into someone, why are you doing that?

Pick up that rubbish.

It's like, oh.

It's like, why are you attacking me?

It's like, because I value our environment.

So for me, this process, I'm like, there's a meta aspect to this.

Like everything we do, like myself, Lawrence and Lana, we coach not

because we know exactly what you need to do because we are

curious about what is it you want.

We can't understand what you want unless you really start to articulate that.

And so this whole process, whether it's values or products or businesses, is

how do we articulate what's inside?

And, and I'd like to also bring in the word alignment, when we are

able to articulate our values and we are able to invite people in, with

awareness of that, those values.

Then it's also there's, there's also more possibilities in aligning

ourselves around those values.

Dave's mentioning Propell net, and how the employees are super

engaged with the company values.

And so we know our experience of Propell Net and Jack, who's the

founder, My understanding, maybe Lawrence, you, there's the, a lot

of the culture that I experienced at propelling when I was, you know, we,

we were there, was driven by Jack.

There was a very much inside out approach to that.

There was a, he infused a lot of that energy when I was there

and it evolves because different people take on that mantle.

But, you know, one, one of our first.

Ever talks at summer camp is bucket list business planning, which is

Jack Hubbard talking about why he runs his business the way he does.

Uh, and that's a very, that was, that talk was a strong

articulation of his values.

And, and, and what that did was that, that met the needs and also

aligned with the values of the people who joined the business and stayed.

and I'm sure, I mean, Stephanie, you are a designer, you know this, but.

If designers are trying to help other people articulate their vision and

their culture and their values to other people, how do you do that?

So I think this is where it's also important and what I see is, and

we, when we first started with Happy Startup School, this was our opportunity

to live more aligned to our values.

'cause I certainly felt like towards the last few.

Um, months and years of the agency, it wasn't feeling aligned.

And so this was a chance to think about how we wanna come across.

And one of the things that was important was to talk like friends,

not to talk like business contacts.

And so the way we communicated the tone of voice, we used the visuals that we

used, we made things fun, we made things friendly, we made things accessible.

And so all of these things helped to convey what we believe was

important, in how business.

Good and should be.

Why does business have to be so serious?

Let's try and create, a way to engage with business that feels

more fun and accessible to your accidental entrepreneur who doesn't

think of themselves as a, you know, money hungry, um, billionaire type.

And so this became useful as a way, again, another language, whether

it's visual or words to be able to.

When ideally when someone comes in contact with our work, they

feel connected to it, not even without meeting us, but just the

idea of these values coming out through the way we communicate.

So I guess that's another angle to this is not just thinking about the

brand as separate, but how does, how do the, as assets and the materials

we create, um, communicate what we're about at our, at our heart?

like to add that like it's something that allows other people to connect

to us from afar and disconnect.

So very good.

Filtering me mechanism.

It's actually, I would say this is leading by example.

you know, it is, Literally living what you believe in.

But also then there's also a sense of accountability in terms of like,

how can we hold ourselves accountable to, to this sort of thing that we are

trying to do by doing it ourselves?

Because that's what I sometimes found working.

Uh, within, and for other companies that there was sort of the values

or the manifesto or whatever, but I could see certain layers in, in

the company, especially management or c-suite level, doing things that

were not congruent with those values.

And then it was a, a bit like, oh, so you expect the employees to do it?

But not as management.

And that created such sort of friction within me, um, leaving the company

eventually because I just thought like, this is not leading by example.

We're not doing what we're saying that we're doing or not everybody is saying

what we are doing, what we're saying.

So that's also beautiful.

And it also sort of touches on, uh, attunement.

It's also sort of a way of language communicating, but

also saying like, I respect you.

So let's attune to each other.

And so values can change or talk about needs, but it's also creating that sort

of basis of trust, Um, yeah, which is, I, I think very, a very beautiful way.

A consistency

I would argue as well.

' cause it's the consistent actions that make something a value, I

think, not what we hope it to be.

And

I've, I've heard some, I'm sure we've all heard some stories of

companies on the outside look like they've got an amazing culture and

the brand looks amazing and it's very accessible and friendly and

like you said, some of the stories of the actual reality of like, those

companies inside are very different.

So Yeah.

my hope is in this day and age, that's harder to do just given

there's more transparency around.

But again, it's not, um, they still exist sadly.

there's a question from, um, Simon that I thought would be

nice to tackle quickly before we have some final thoughts.

Um, Simon asks, do you think that communicating your values and your

authentic self will will attract clients and collaborators and business that

will be more aligned with your values?

I suppose in short, yes, I think it's about how bold you wanna be ultimately.

'cause some values can just seem very omnipresent, let's say.

So like I've been, um, working with Kara and Yuba, some of you

may know from the community, and they're picking on an event in

Grogan in Netherlands in February.

And at the heart of that.

Essence, I feel is like this inner rebel, this kind of punk spirit.

And so we've come up with this kind of concept for an event, which is based on

that, and it's very much their values.

It's very much how they show up in the world, and it's bold.

But my hope is that it will attract people like that, that value that those

things and that connect to that spirit.

So my sense is.

Yes, it will.

And also accept that some people won't like it.

And that's the benefits of niching in some ways, and also for some

people, the pitfalls of it too.

Yeah.

The word for me is resonance of like, when you show up in the ways

of how you value and, and based from your needs, um, it attracts

people that resonates with that.

And then the conversations also become easier because there's

a, there's a point of connection already that that is already there.

I'm gonna agree as well.

Yes.

And it's one part.

Um, the key thing, the two key things a communicating,

and this is where marketing.

Being visible, having words to articulate your values is important

because if you are not doing that, you're not communicating

and someone, no one knows you.

So not, you're not gonna attract anything.

But the other aspect of this is, what is it that they want as well?

Because as a client, as, or a collaborator, they have their own need.

And so if you can't articulate the need, you can articulate the values, great.

But that just means we're aligned.

But it doesn't necessarily mean you can help me or I know what you

can help me with or what you do.

and this can be tricky for, I think for creative entrepreneurs or even artists

because there's an articulation, right?

There is something, an identity that you get by liking my work

and being connected with me.

But that's an articulation of a thing that you do that, that's my impression.

So there's articulating to your values, but there's articulating, and then

why would you wanna engage with me?

What is it you are going to get by engaging with me?

That I think helps.

Uh, as you were saying just now, it's, it's almost a difference between the

what and the how, maybe the what is what you can help me with and the how

is more the values of how we, how we are coming together and how we are doing it.

Maybe that could be sort of a, a translation maybe, or interpretation

of what you were saying.

Well, I think this, this, this whole conversation has been illuminating

to me to make those terms more like alive and how it actually.

How it could actually benefit me, for example, to get more clear on

mine, even if it's just for now, for a starting point to give words to

it and to see like, oh, okay, this can help me then further reduce who,

whom I can help or whom I'm for.

And not also that because, um, if you're creative.

And you are sort of inclined to be a problem solver, then sometimes it's

hard to sort of say, okay, but this is not who I'm for at this point.

Mm-hmm.

To narrow it down and to actually, get from, from thinking into action.

So that's, uh, that's a connection that I just made.

That, that's to me is very valuable.

Yeah, I, I don't know.

I think there's more to say on this especially as well when there's, for

example, friction within, within a company and how then the values or,

or getting back to sort of a core sense of, um, uh, why are we doing

what we're doing can help, I don't, not sure if we really touched on

that, but maybe That would be, another great way to sort of learn more about

how values and needs could actually help collaboration essentially.

Um, Lawrence, what are your, what are your parting thoughts?

Uh,

I just wrote down, based on what you said, Stephanie, like a snapshot,

uh, like a moment in time, like capturing, capturing your values now

and what's, what's a life for you now and not thinking too far ahead.

And I think, like we've all said, there's, there's,

it's messy, this stuff.

It's not easy.

It's, it's hard work.

Uh, if it was easy, everyone would do it.

And that's part of the, the joy of this is understanding more about

ourselves, understanding more about who we wanna attract and some ways who,

who we don't wanna attract as well.

So, but that's not reason not to do it.

Um, but yeah, I particularly think if we wanna work with people that

we really care about, and I'd say everyone in the community has.

Either belonging or connection as a need, then it's vitally important,

I think, to find the language or a way to attract and also repel

those we don't wanna work with

Well, for me, I go also with the, the caveat around that it's not about

perfectionism and how we live our values, but rather how are we also able

to hold ourselves when we create those missteps in living with our values.

Yeah, the word compassion, self-compassion along

this process comes up.

For me.

I'm really excited about this kind of conversation because for me, the core

of our work, and personally what gets me up and every morning around this

work is the self knowledge aspect of it is the inside out approach to this.

It's trying to actually work out what is my, who am I, and then for whom.

And having a, a way being able to articulate our values, I think helps.

I think, like Lawrence was saying, in terms of consistency, for myself

it's like, wake up, who am I again?

What do I believe in?

Because it's so easy to get caught up with all the, ah, and for those, for,

for them not to be vanilla values and just like, ah, everyone's got 'em.

It's like, no, what, what's mine?

What's really mine?

And that's where it gets tricky.

'cause then it's like, okay, who am I?

And then how does that connect to the work I want to do?

And this is the messy, difficult aspect of all of this, that unless you are

really committed to it, you'll just go back to business as usual and just

vanilla values laminating them, and then just trying to make loads of money.

Actually, the idea of when you do your values a writing, what you mean by it.

Yeah, because I think a lot of people just have a value like connection.

So like, what do you mean by the connection?

Yeah.

And then also underneath that, like how we will actually live this.

So like a statement of how we will actually apply this.

So for example, we had friendship, what we mean by it.

We wanna celebrate the highs and navigate the lows with the

group of support, the people that love us for who we are.

So what do we do?

We find great people keeping 'em close and make 'em feel loved.

Um, so this idea of like, how does that actually play out day to day?

So that could be another way to look at this is like, how

do you actually plan coming

to a happy startup workshop near you?

Do one of those.

We'll have a session on creating your, your values.

Awesome.

Cool.

Well thank you everyone else for this inaugural a way.

Yes, appreciate and everyone else as well who joined in the

chat and shared their thoughts.

Thank you very much and uh, until next time, bye-bye.

Yeah,

take care.

Have a good day.