[00:00:00] Hi, and welcome back to the Awfully Quiet Podcast. I am recording this episode in a new place today in the beautiful city of Copenhagen. We have just arrived today. We are here with the dog lady for a little getaway, and I have just had the most amazing smorrebrod and negronis at the bar before going back to the hotel room to record this episode.

[00:00:26] Today is an important conversation. And I know it is deeply relevant to you, especially as you get to a point in the year where you start to reflect on where you are, how far you've come, things you are pursuing, but haven't quite achieved yet. I actually got the idea to do this episode on the evening of my podcast launch this week.

[00:00:50] As you can imagine, this day marked a huge milestone on my personal journey and brought with it a lot of feelings. feelings of pride, joy, accomplishment, but also anxiety, nervousness, fear. So today's episode is about what happens as you start to realize your career dreams. The mix of feelings that comes up as you work towards big achievements, milestones, things you have set out to do.

[00:01:25] You might already be thinking about an endeavor that you currently dream about. This may be applying for a job at a company that caught your attention. Pivoting into a completely different field or career, putting a design portfolio together, starting a quote unquote little business on social media.

[00:01:47] Each and every one of us has dreams like this thoughts, ideas, inklings. What's different is the extent to which you allow yourself to move from dreaming to reality. Whether you believe that dream is feasible, possible. At the horizon or not. You might just be at the beginning of this journey where you get a first glimpse of what it is you dream about.

[00:02:16] You may also be in the messy middle, where you are actively pursuing your dream, but the finish line is still way out of sight. Or you might just be a few steps away from making your dream become a reality. Whichever it is for you, today's conversation is an important one because no matter where you are in that process, it's not all fun and games and it all goes back to a universal truth.

[00:02:46] It is scary to want something because if you want something, you also have something to lose, something to fear. Who is to say that you wanting it is enough? Who is to say the mere reason you are striving for it makes it feasible for you? You may want that job, but are you more qualified than others? You may want to pivot, but would they even consider your application without the on paper experience they reference in the job description?

[00:03:20] And as for starting your own business on social media, it may just end up with everyone judging you for suddenly showing up a certain way. And you'll end up embarrassed with no more followers than your high school friends who, frankly, Aren't liking the new stuff you post either. There is a lot of risk to starting something new, going for it.

[00:03:45] And with this episode, I want to finally give you the advice you deserve. Advice you can actually relate to, do something with. I know the usual career advice you get when it comes to procrastinating. Don't do it. Stop procrastinating. Go for it. Take the leap. Well, that's great. Except it's not. Because in certain cases, just going for it might end up setting you up for failure, taking action too fast, may spin you out of control.

[00:04:18] How do you know when it's better to wait and prep and be sure you're ready, as opposed to when you should indeed take the leap? That's what we're going to be covering in this episode. You will walk away knowing the exact reason why you are procrastinating. And you'll have actionable tools in hand. To help you decide your best approach and next step to move you closer to applying for that job, pivoting into that new career, submitting that portfolio, the beauty of it, this approach looks different for everyone.

[00:04:54] And while the issue of procrastination is relevant for many, the way you move into action differs by personality and the endeavor at hand. I am so excited you're listening to this. So let's dive in.

[00:05:10] First things first. Why is it that career dreams are so scary? Why are so many of us spending all our time dreaming, thinking, wishing, and not pursuing, doing, moving into action? You see, there is a shift that happens when a dream moves out of your head and into the real world. As long as you dream, you got full control.

[00:05:39] It's all yours to shape, visualize, make up just the way you like it. You can dream up what it would feel like to land that dream position and go home and tell your family all about it. What it would feel like to change that LinkedIn status and see congratulations on the new job rolling in. That dream becomes a really nice place in your mind.

[00:06:06] Let me know if you do this, too. Before I go to sleep at night, I often imagine what it would look like to achieve my personal career dreams, what it would feel like to be that person, that future version of me. It almost becomes this happy place, a secret retreat. It's soothing, calming, but most importantly, It's a space and time I have full control over.

[00:06:37] No one is going to take this away from me, is going to tell me it can't be done, is going to judge me for it because it's really just me and my dream. Now there is a big shift that happens as you start to actively pursue your dream and try to make it a reality. That big fluffy bubble of bliss suddenly bursts into smoke.

[00:07:03] You can't contain it anymore and step by step, you'll have to give up that control and you start to find yourself in situations that are entirely different to what you had imagined. That's the reality of a big, bold endeavor. It's great imagining getting there, having made it celebrating the finish line, But firstly, making it to the finish line rarely feels as good as we had dreamed up. And secondly, the journey there is often paved with roadblocks, challenges, annoying detours. Let me give you an example to bring this to life. If you have listened to episode one. You will have already gotten some of the behind the scenes of me starting this podcast.

[00:07:55] The short version is, it took me more than a year to go from dreaming to doing. I loved the dream. I could envision the finish line, but I was scared shitless by the execution. Buying a microphone is easy. Taking a cover photo with a microphone is easy. Placing a microphone on your desk to start feeling really cool about yourself is easy.

[00:08:26] But let me tell you, listening to your first few takes of actually speaking into that microphone and hearing your own voice is complete and utter terror. There have been many times of day I had to stop recording because my voice would sound really scratchy. And no amount of water, coffee, or tea would help.

[00:08:50] It took me days to record the trailer, the intro, the outro. And when I finally felt like I got the hang of it, and I had a really good recording going, the doorbell would ring, the dog would bark, my phone would get a notification. And I realized, speaking into a microphone is a skill. Setting the room up for optimal recording is a skill.

[00:09:17] Getting your voice ready is a skill. Making sure there are no background noises takes planning and aligning with the people who live with you, including the dog. Suddenly, my romantic imagination of sitting somewhere in a fancy chair, having a microphone mounted in front of me, casually interviewing someone for the awfully quiet podcast while looking cool, calm, composed, was crushed.

[00:09:45] Because there was nothing cool about my red face and sweaty armpits as I made my very first podcast interviews. The dream became reality. And it was scary. Who was I to think I can do this? What led me to believe I was ever going to get close to a Mel Robbins level of podcasting? Cue the self doubt, the limiting beliefs, the negative self talk.

[00:10:15] That's the other thing. You can be as fearless a dreamer as they come, but the way there, the journey that moves you from dream to reality is humbling, no matter how fearless you are, because every such dream requires skills and muscles you do not have yet, requires you to move out of your comfort zone, requires growth.

[00:10:42] Personal inner growth and actual technical skills and experiences that all too often require trial and error and trying more than once a lot more than once. Now, how do I turn this pity party around for you? Let's think through the obvious. If this journey is so painful, wouldn't we be better off dreaming?

[00:11:08] Who cares if you ever get the job, if dreaming about it before you fall asleep at night soothes you? Why not just capitalize on that happy place inside your head, where there are no limitations, where everything is possible and within your control? To me, this sounds really tempting And frankly, it works just like that for many, many people.

[00:11:35] Dreams stay dreams. Nice thoughts. Unicorns and rainbows. To me, there is one problem with it. You can't tell your grandkids. What are you gonna say? I once dreamed about starting a podcast. I once dreamed of switching careers. I once dreamed of starting my own business. You're not gonna say that. Because in the real world, the only stories that count.

[00:12:06] Are the ones that actually make it into the real world. What are you going to do with your one precious life? This is not a drill. This is your chance. It doesn't matter how old you are, how much time has passed since you started dreaming or how feasible it is to bring your dream to life. Are you going to have a story to tell?

[00:12:30] As for me, the shift happened this week. My dream of launching this podcast moved from dream to real world. It's out there now, for everyone to judge. The analytics are rolling in, telling me hard facts about numbers of listeners, downloads, what performs well versus what doesn't. I can't dream of that big bang I envisioned this launch to be anymore.

[00:12:58] Because it's already here. Shit has become real. And can I tell you something? I do now feel more alive than I did dreaming and envisioning. Some things are better than expected. Some things are worse than expected. But they are happening. They are real. And I am going to have a story to tell one day. But first, I'm going to have to write it.

[00:13:25] And I'm here for it.

[00:15:55] Now, the one million dollar question. How do you move out of dreaming and into doing? At what time do you take the leap? How much prep is necessary? And at what point does too much prep lead to overthinking and procrastinating? I find that there are two schools of thought. The first school of thought says you should prepare to an extent where you feel ready.

[00:16:22] It believes that as long as you do not feel ready to jump, there is still a learning to be had. A skill to be honed and you would harm yourself and your endeavor by just mindlessly jumping into action. The second school of thought says you just take the leap and get started. That way you don't allow expectation to build up in the first place.

[00:16:46] You learn as you go. You don't fall into the trap of procrastination and build the skills you need step by step and over time. A lot of the reason why I ended up taking so long to launch my podcast is the fact that much of the advice I got through other podcasts and course materials on how to launch a podcast is quite contradicting.

[00:17:10] Some say it's possible to launch a podcast in 30 days, get it out there, improve as you go. Others say podcasting is now different than a few years ago. We're more progressed. Expectations are higher. The quality needs to be better. People won't listen to an interview with a crappy sound, an echo, podcast hosts rambling on without intent.

[00:17:35] They even go as far as to say that your very first episode is a crucial one. New listeners will often go back and start at episode one. I've heard podcast hosts with 700 plus episodes say, people still go back to episode one on a weekly basis. Now, if that doesn't speak for overpreparing, overthinking, and procrastinating until it's perfect, I don't know what does.

[00:18:04] the question is, which school of thought is the right one for you? Does it depend on your personality? Is one person better off preparing and the other person better off jumping? Or does it depend on the endeavor or dream at hand? Does a big dream of launching a podcast requires some serious prep where he's starting your Instagram site business needs more of a just do it mentality.

[00:18:31] Honestly, I think it's a mix of both different personalities, different endeavors require a bespoke strategy. So when it comes to your particular career dream, the thing you really want. I do not want you to listen to advice that says jump on one day and then listen to someone say it's all about the right quality the next day.

[00:18:56] Been there, done that. I want you to be certain of your next move. So what I've done for you is I created a bit of a decision matrix that helps you assess your next move depending on your personality and your particular endeavor. Thank Let's take a look at that. Okay. So what we're going to do is we're going to get really specific on who you are as a person and what it is you're trying to achieve.

[00:19:27] We'll start off looking into your personality. I want you to think about a time in your career. You did really well. You achieved something you are proud of. You felt successful. Accomplished. Now I want you to reflect on what helped you get there. Was this accomplishment the result of you working hard towards it, preparing, maybe even overthinking, trying to make it perfect?

[00:19:55] Or was it the exact opposite and you got there by chance? You took a leap of faith, put your head in the ring for something you didn't feel quite prepared for. Things worked out because you weren't all too attached to the outcome. If you are familiar with the MBTI personality type test, you might notice this touches on one of the four categories, which makes up the last letter of the four letter framework.

[00:20:24] Now, this is a bit complex, but I just want you to focus on that last letter. The judging versus perceiving. The J versus P. While some of the other categories indicate where you draw your energy from, the way you make decisions, the way you process information, the judging versus perceiving category indicates how you approach new endeavors.

[00:20:52] If you lean more towards the J, the judging, your school of thought is preparation is king. If you lean more towards a P, the perceiving, or sometimes called prospecting, you'd rather be spontaneous and go with the flow. This distinction hints at your personal preference, the approach you are naturally drawn to, and honestly, more likely to succeed with.

[00:21:21] an INTJ. And let me tell you, I am a J all the way. You know, there is always a spectrum between these two letters in the framework. And in my personal profile, there is nothing as clear as the J. I am a preparer, a planner. I am not one to get started and see where things go. I would love to, honestly.

[00:21:47] I have made myself feel so bad for not being the leaper, the jumper, the doer, the let's get this show on the road kind of person. But I am just not. In hindsight, it makes a lot of sense to me. Now that I am on the other side of this podcast launch, I feel grateful I took the time to get it right. Proud of the interview guests I was able to land early on in the process.

[00:22:16] I am not embarrassed when someone in my private life says they listen to my podcast. It's all testament to the work I put in and the prep. This is exactly how I need to feel in order for it to stand a chance. Now, for you, this might be entirely different. So the first thing I want you to do is get clear on where you are on that spectrum of judging versus perceiving.

[00:22:44] Think back to the times in your career where you felt accomplished, successful. And I am pretty sure you will find that the moments everything seemed to be working out were the times you acted in accordance with that preference. If you have never done the MBTI test before, I would love to do a refresher.

[00:23:04] I'm going to put a link to a free online resource in the show notes where you can take the test. now that we've established this, we want to look at how high the stakes are when it comes to your particular career dream, the other axis of the decision matrix. I want you to think about the endeavor you are currently working on. What is your personal version of the podcast launch? Is there a job you want to apply to? A career move you have in mind, a pivot you want to make, a business you want to start. I want you to picture this endeavor and rate the importance of this going well on a scale from one to 10.

[00:23:45] One being, it's a nice to have, 10 being, I really, really want this. If you have trouble doing that, what might help you do it is to reflect on what would happen if I go for it and it fails. Let's say you have a job in mind at a company you've been eyeing for months, maybe years. You really want to apply, but deep down, you know that actually applying would mean for you to move that controlled dream into an uncontrolled reality.

[00:24:17] It would mean you could fail. The dream could not come true. What then? What if you don't get the job? Now, I can think of at least two positives in that scenario. One, you don't get the job, and you can finally move on to something else. Instead of dreaming and wishing on something that is never going to happen, you could find the next thing to pursue.

[00:24:45] One that actually works for you. And two, you don't get the job, but you learn something about yourself in the process. Maybe it's a way to improve how you show up to interviews. Maybe it's a cue that leads you to an opportunity that is a much better fit. Whatever you learn, it'll move you forward. I could probably think of two, three more positives, but you get the idea.

[00:25:15] Let's be honest. On a scale from 1 to 10, the importance of getting that exact job at that exact company in this exact moment is a 6 at best. Now, you have two data points. You know whether you are leaning more towards preparation as king, or go with the flow. And you know how important this career dream is to you.

[00:25:40] What is your next step now? Let's keep going with this example. Let's say you're as much of a J as I am. You're a preparer. You want to feel ready. And the job you want is a straight six. They are probably other jobs out there, but you do really want this one. I'd say your next step is you get really serious about getting ready for that interview process.

[00:26:05] I do not mean updating your CV and cover letter. I mean serious prep in terms of self reflection, studying that job description, writing out answers to potential interview questions. Practicing interview questions, reaching out to stakeholders at the company, getting a feel for the hiring manager's expectations, the whole shebang.

[00:26:29] Now, depending on whether or not that job is currently available, this can range from two to three weeks to three months tops. That's when you move from prep mode into action mode. You put in the application, you go to the interview, give it all you've got, no matter the outcome, you know you've done your best, you will have satisfied, you're in a J, and if the job's not for you, the job's not for you.

[00:26:59] Also, if you are a J and you haven't listened to episode 3 yet, please go back to that one before your interview and thank me later. Now, let's say you're not a J, but a P. Someone who goes with the flow. But still, this interview is important to you. It's a 6 out of 10. You do want that job. I want you to apply today.

[00:27:25] Go for it. You will likely be motivated by taking the first bold step. Leaping into the unknown. Now, it doesn't mean you don't have to worry or prepare, or not do all the same things as someone with a J, but you'll be more motivated knowing you kicked off the process. You will be fueled by the pressure.

[00:27:48] That's the difference. What's important is you must tweak this approach according to the endeavor at hand. Let's say you are someone who tends to overprepare, like me, but the endeavor is a 4 out of 10. It's not a make or break situation. It might be something like starting to post on social media to build a reputation, get noticed, position yourself to be seen, potentially make it a side hustle.

[00:28:19] That's low risk. If the first couple posts don't perform, it's a 4. A little ego bump, but no one dies. That's when I want you to challenge yourself to move into leap mode, get started, improve along the way. Same for someone who is more of a go with the flow person. If you are onto an endeavor, that's a 10 out of 10 important to you.

[00:28:47] You might want to put in some more time to prep, get the right level of support, maybe even call in an expert, a coach to help you prepare. Let me recap a few key learnings here. It can be scary to want something. But the risk of not trying at all comes at the price of the stories you're never going to be able to tell. There are different schools of thought when it comes to approaching new endeavors. Instead of beating yourself up over procrastinating or simply taking the leap, I want you to pick an approach that is true to your personality and justified given the level of importance of any given career dream at hand.

[00:29:32] Once you use this decision matrix, it allows you to put things into perspective. It allows you to hear someone talk about launching a podcast in 30 days. And be able to discern that this person might be a completely different personality type and launching a podcast might be a nice add on to their portfolio and not a one in a lifetime endeavor.

[00:29:58] I hope you leave today's episode feeling seen and heard. And able to move into action, whatever this looks like for you more than anything else. I hope it inspires you to move your dream into reality, whether that means prepping or jumping.