Hello, hello,

and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

today.

This Friday, outdoors sunny,

very windy, I hope the wind is not going to disturb you. So,

today I want to talk about abusive nurses. Yeah, what made

me come up with that title? First of all, I want to tell you

that if I have lots of respect for one job that there is out

there, then it is nursing being a registered nurse, every nurse

on this planet deserves way more applaud and tapping on the

shoulder than they can receive. They're doing such tremendous

work. They're rescuing people, they're saving people's lives

and they comfort you they make you feel good. And yeah, what

would we do? Where would this planet Earth? Where would

humanity be if it wasn't for nurses, I've had really good

experiences with nurses being a patient being a client. But

today, I want to talk about abusive nurses or the phenomenon

of strong givers. People who constantly give and nurture and

take care of other people. And them now burning out. It is

usually people with a big heart, lots of compassion, lots of

empathy, who become nurses, they're very well organized,

they're very hard working. And they can take on a lot. But what

if it gets too much what the person who prides him or herself

to rescue other people, when war is going on outside, if they

reach a limit, I feel and to some degree, I think we can all

identify a little bit. As nurses wanting to help wanting to

nurture we can reach a limit, and then have difficulties

communicating our limits our boundaries. And instead of

communicating instead of stepping back instead of

radically taking care of ourselves, we then turn into

little bitter, abusive personalities. And I've noticed

that I've worked in the hospital, and there was nurses

who were really nasty to clients. And I was just a

newbie, physiotherapist taking care of freshly injured people,

people coming out of how do you say that surgery? And yeah,

doing my job. And of course, the nurses had to do the heavy

lifting. And I feel the system is not really built to support

nurses like they have to constantly give they constantly

have to be switched on. But they haven't really hard to take care

of themselves. I mean, there's statistics out there that the

nurses got hit hard with COVID and not only because they will

working closely with COVID patients but because their

immune system is not really strong, they work shifts. They

some of them smoke lots, some of them eat a little bit too much

or not enough and they just have a very stressful environment and

are more susceptible and catching viruses and and

illnesses. And to then having to cater to other people to every

single need that patients have. is so extremely exhausting, and

I feel nurses don't get enough paid and they don't get enough

breaks They don't get enough holidays. And I really wonder

why if we know that the health of a society is built on really

good doctors and really good, nurses, right, our society here,

our health system is all about get sick first, and we make you

fit after we rescued you after. It's not like an East, in India,

where people are more focused on prevention. Here, it is heavily

based on how good your doctor is how good your nurses, that's how

well you're going to do. And it's tough. Like I feel we need

to take way more responsibility when it comes to our health. We

think way too often that the little pill is going to rescue

us or the doctor or the nurse, and think that our health is

none of our business. It is other people's business. And,

yeah, that's something I have a really tough time to understand

that nurses are so important in our society, yet they're not

given the ideal circumstances in order to have a healthy

lifestyle. And so the abusive nurse here is just a metaphor.

But yes, I experienced nurses that got abusive with patients,

because they were just totally burned out. They just couldn't

give in any more, they just couldn't listen anymore. Because

it reached a point where it was too much. And have you maybe

noticed that with yourself, at some point in your life where

someone all of a sudden was heavily dependent on you. And

you had to focus on balancing out your life and maybe your

children's life, and now all of a sudden that other person's

life, be it a spouse or a parent, whatever you can imagine

being Yeah, dependent on you. And then for the first little

bit, it works while you manage to balance it out. And you are a

little bit stressed, but it's going to be alright. But then

the stress builds up. And lastly, maybe worse eating than

ever, and the friendliness, the kindness, the empathy, slowly

but surely starts to Tirico writing. And I noticed that with

children with youngsters, who feel overwhelmed with their

parents, youngsters who want to get out there and conquer the

world. And all of a sudden, one of the parent parents is sick at

home and they have to take care of them. And yeah, there goes

the dreaming they go there goes the goals and then the

resentment builds up. So yeah, this episode is to remind

ourselves that you're not a bad person. If you feel resentful

towards somebody who's dependent on you. It is totally okay, it

is totally normal. But we have to be aware of not becoming

abusive, and to learn to set boundaries before we burn out.

And it is so tough because you will feel selfish at first or

worse, even people from the outside will call you selfish,

because they don't know your real boundaries. They don't

really know you because you always said yes in the past. And

now all of a sudden you set a boundary and people don't really

know. What's the benefit in for me. Why are we doing this? Well

the benefit is that you can be yourself you can be authentic,

you can be calm and as friendly, empathetic, empathetic, not

pathetic, empathetic as you can be when you set the right

boundaries. And when we don't set the right boundaries, we can

become very unpleasant nasty beings, who then push people

away and are being aggressive with other people. And what we

really need though, is closeness and acceptance and the approval

that okay that we can rest. So okay that we can sit in the

corner and read for an hour if we please to do this.

So if you ever noticed somebody being the very kind and giving

person. And all of a sudden, they become very unpleasant,

they become short fuse, they become really nasty to be

around, ask yourself if they have a problem with setting

boundaries. And then the only thing you can do is encourage

them to set boundaries, even better. So, giving them space

and demanding less from them relying more on yourself again.

Because yeah, it is toughest when you are in a relationship

with somebody who has poor boundaries, but you can both

learn or all parties involved, to give people space to take

care of themselves. You know, look at the guy who's the

provider, the breadwinner, and he comes home and is just

totally exhausted and just wants to have peace and just wants to

deflate, decompress. We have to give space or ask what we can do

to support and same goes with us. When we feel like we're

reaching an end we are becoming unpleasant, short fused, it is a

strong sign that we need a rest we need a break. We need to

radically take care of ourselves, but very gently

communicated to the people around us. So I hope this tile

was not confusing. I hope I was able to make the loop back to

you back to us on how important it is to take care of yourself

because if you don't, some people, not all people but some

people can become very abusive, very nasty, not only self

abusive, self destructive, but destructive for relationships,

destructive for other people. Thank you so much for listening.

If you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe. And if you

feel like leaving me a review on Apple podcast, never hold back.

It means the world to me. Thank you so much. Bye bye