So building a business is highly intense, but doing it together with your partner, it just adds even more layers to complexity.

Yeah.

Like, it helps our business.

Sure.

We have different qualities, but it definitely doesn't help our relationship that we're working together.

So today, we are gonna go through working together as a couple.

I think this is gonna be intense.

It's gonna be personal, and we'll see.

If we're friends afterwards or just single.

A lot of couples want to do business together.

I mean, that's how it was for us as well.

We wanted to do business together.

So I think it's fair to have a dialogue about pros and cons and how to survive as both the business and in doing that.

Absolutely.

And it is important.

And to be honest, I got a tip once that was that don't get into business together if you're not also prepared to marry that person.

Because building a business together with someone else.

That's why out of 99% of coaches shouldn't look for partnerships when they first start looking for partnerships, because they're not far along on their journey yet.

And inviting a partner into your business, we didn't do that.

Like, we started separately.

We were together.

We were a couple of.

But we decided that we needed to build the businesses ourselves first.

So we did the exact same thing.

Me on the Swedish market, you on the Danish market, and building it up with each other's help for sure.

But we didn't involve the other person in that business at all.

And we had a rule that said until we've made a million euros each, then we can talk about going in and do this together.

Yeah.

And I think that is was because we wanted to not get stuck in a thing that I believe some couples get stuck in.

Some people do want to have a partner in the business because it feels easier.

It feels like, oh, that other person can go in and that other person backs me up.

Yeah.

Can back me up.

That other person can take the responsibility.

I can leave the work to that other person.

And I think that was exactly what we both knew, both from.

I need to prove to myself that I can do everything on my own to make the money myself.

And also in order for us to prove, I want to prove you that I am willing to do all of the work myself before I joined this as a partnership in our business.

Yeah.

And like I said before, it's been amazing in so many ways, working together.

And we have very different qualities and strengths, which means that we are better together than we are on our own.

I genuinely believe that.

But at the same time, it hasn't helped our relationship that we are working together because it's such an important topic.

We can't fail our clients, we can't do it the wrong way.

There are so many rules that we both agree on.

And when we're both responsible for that same outcome, for that same thing, it just puts a strain towards the personal relationship.

And we are working all the time.

When we're at office hours, we're working together.

When we step off, we bounce stuff off each other all the time.

As soon as we have a business thought, something that we think of, we bounce it off each other.

So we're constantly and always in process with what's going on in our business.

And which means that many times and many times still, when it's needed, we down prioritize the personal stuff and we make the business more important.

And I think that we have taken like a lot of heavy punches in the personal, personal relationship from both of us doing that in different ways at different times often.

I totally agree and I think reason for why it becomes hard for the relationship because first of all, we are both highly ambitious business wise.

We do not want to have a small business.

We do have some really high standards for what level we want to have our business at.

And I also believe like when we have disputes in the business, it also feels more personal because it's hard to separate.

When is this like a relationship thing and when is this a business thing?

It's harder to separate.

Would I speak the same way or would you like speak the same way?

If we were not in a relationship at the same time, if we were just like colleagues in an office, we would probably not like everything get a little bit blur.

We are, we're very different people.

We have very different strength as individuals, as human beings, as a couple, but also as business owners.

Yeah.

And we have also very different needs.

And we have very different needs as well.

Yeah.

So I mean the complexity of it is like it's tenfold on itself again and again.

And I do believe that we did a great thing when we started out.

I'm actually really proud about the decision of us building it separately before we joined and did it together.

But I would also like to say that in the challenging parts of running a business together with your significant other today, I mean, we have the same problems as anyone would have working with their significant other other.

For us, it's been a wild journey.

And I would say that nine times out of 10, when we are struggling in our Relationship, it's connected to the business because we care.

What is one of the most important needs for me in our relationship?

I want to be viewed as capable, someone you can lean on, trust in and.

And someone that you can rely on and.

And then stepping into my business, realizing for myself again and again and again that I am incapable of being in all places at the same time doing everything that could be done.

I'm incapable.

And then meeting you, feeling that I always need to do more and it just drains me to the point where I'm less effective.

And for me it just weakens my own self image in terms of what I believe about me and only to understand again and again that whatever I believe that you believe about me is wrong.

We both have each our stories.

We are both adults.

We also come in with different experiences in both in relationships and in running businesses.

We're not new to running business.

We're not new in relationship either.

I think we did one thing quite good from the beginning and that was that we started in couple therapy really early on in our relationship.

Of course, our orientation of how do we maintain and take care of us.

Yeah.

While doing all of these things have helped us to, to maintain and keep this relationship going and still be able to trust each other.

But another hard thing that is undisputable is that we live together, we wake up together, we go to bed together, work together.

It's so rare that we are not spending time together.

While that is amazing on so many levels, it's also a real challenge because every time I go to Stockholm, which is about 650km away from home, and I stay there for a couple of days and I come home, the dynamic of our relationship is different because we get the opportunity to miss each other.

And I think that's very, very healthy.

And there are many times where I feel it's better if I just take into a hotel for a couple of days so that I could just work off everything that I need to do and then come home and be able to be there for you and with you.

This is very self orientated.

This is my perspective how I'm trying to deal with being so close to my partner.

I think it's so important that we are able to communicate about this.

And another thing to me that stands out that in business when we meet potential clients, people haven't bought anything from us, actual clients that that depend on us.

I think that the better we are doing together, personal or privately, the better results we're going to deliver to our clients.

And when we are struggling.

Our clients and everything that we deliver still is very appreciated.

But the better we are doing together, that's when we're bringing the edge that allows us to completely give the total package and the complete value that we can.

But absolutely, when we have more fun, when we feel good, we have another energy in the things we do.

I think it's important to have that standard.

If we are in a bad mood and we are not working as couples, that should not never been seen or experienced by the.

The clients, it's not their fault.

So that is also just like being able to be professional at what you do.

But of course, it is so much easier at everything you do in life that when you feel good, you do it better.

It's just more fun doing it.

I believe that we, we have had several times where we just like, should we make a decision?

Should we like be we just be working together or should we just be a couple?

And every time we've had these places where we needed to have these chats, we always come back to know we.

We want to combine it.

We want to have both.

Because generally, I don't believe I could get a better partner than you.

I don't want to have another partner than you.

So I'm going to save that voice note and I'm going to have it on, on repeat in my ears when I go to sleep so that I just really, really get that into my brain.

That's good.

I believe so.

And it might be that I'm not good enough at saying that, but I definitely believe that you are the best partner I can have.

I think also because we different in the way we, we interact with our clients, I learn a lot from seeing how you give it.

It's a really big asset to our clients.

Now, the difference we have compared to a lot of other couples that we're working with, and it's very different.

Some couples work together in the sense of they have the same business, same niche, same avatar.

And some couples, they have separate niches and do different things.

And I believe that since we are in the same, we, we share our clients, we work together with our clients.

I think that's a huge asset we have in the business.

And that's what I believe for other couples working together in one niche and working together.

I see that as a huge pro to, to watch your.

Your clients because we can talk about the same topic.

But I think even if you've been hearing all this series of podcasts, you can hear that we have different ways of talking about them or we have different perspectives of it.

They get different answers.

So I think they kind of like to get answers from both and, like, get different perspectives different times, at different times.

I think that's really good.

That, I believe, is, like, a huge asset in our business that we have that opportunity and that we still are so aligned with everything we do, because we both know exactly everything we teach.

We are just as deep into everything, and we know just as much about it.

Yeah, we built it together.

We built everything.

The parts.

The parts that I brought was something that you consumed and understood and was curious about and asked questions about.

And the thing that you brought in was something that I had to learn and really understand and dig, dig, dig deeper into.

And it made both of us better because it forced us to learn what the other one knew.

That wasn't, like, a strength.

So if we're looking at figuring out the.

The best next action to take and how to.

How to leverage a strategy and come up with, like, a really good tactic of how to move something forward, that's always been a strength of yours.

Now the question that I could ask myself is, have I become better figuring out strategies and the next viable or the next best, best action for someone to take?

100%.

Because I've modeled your way of thinking and approaching a problem, and there is zero perfectionism in you.

There isn't as much perfectionism in me anymore than it was.

But when we started, I was a huge perfectionist, and I've always been.

So that was something that I need to treat and take care of.

And on the other side, you're such a brilliant coach.

So I've really learned a lot of coaching from you, how you go into the session.

But also, I literally have that.

So how.

What would Lucas ask now?

Like, how would Lucas do now?

That's when you know you're modeling someone.

Right?

Like, what would that person do right now?

So I use that a lot as well.

That's really nice.

That's.

That's really nice.

Because there is.

There are so many coaches that wants to kind of find that partnership that makes the work easier.

Number one, it's not going to be easier.

I promise you that.

Number two, it's going to prevent you from doing the stuff you know you need to do in order to get to that point where your business is working the way you want to.

So it really is a personal journey, whether you do it together with someone or if you do it as a couple.

And it needs to be, like, one of the things that we have done that I'm really proud of.

That has been part of our solution, is that we have divided our responsibilities so that you.

You're focusing on marketing and sales, and I'm focusing on delivery and the operations of the business.

And I believe that is actually like a step number one to be able to work together.

Yeah.

Declare who's doing what or who manages what.

Because the other thing is.

Does that mean that you don't deliver to our clients?

No, it means that you deliver to the clients.

But I'm in charge.

Yeah.

Does that mean that I'm not doing sales?

Of course I'm doing sales.

But, like, I'm leaning against you.

Do I come with suggestions or thoughts or ideas?

Yeah, I do.

And I come to you with them to be able to develop it.

So just because someone is in charge of something doesn't mean that the other one shouldn't touch that.

No, but we make sure that there's always one who's responsible for making sure that area is moving forward and following the strategy and following the direction.

We decided, like, the biggest picture of what strategy to use and what to do and what we want to do.

That is something we're bringing to the table and we're discussing.

And then when we know our roles, we can check in.

We have like a daily routine of checking in quickly.

Hey, I have these projects going on.

This is what's going on in my.

My office these days.

And this is where this and this and this.

This is where I'm at.

This is what I need.

This is what I'm doing.

Just to check in and let you know, like, what's going on.

And the same, you.

You let me know in my area, I'm doing this and this and this.

And this is like how you support me the best.

Yeah.

But just to be super clear of.

Of like an example of what it could look like, let's say that you wanted to retire tomorrow.

You're not going to.

I'm not going to allow it.

But let's say that you wanted to.

You could still be in charge of marketing and sales.

Let's say that you're just running the numbers and making sure that we are doing what we said we would do because that's being responsible.

And then you outsource everything else to me.

So I'm doing all the sales.

That's not the way it works in our business.

But that could be how it could work.

Would still.

I'm just a worker within the area of sales and marketing.

And then when we grow past A couple of million in euros.

Well, we're going to be able to figure out on a yearly basis in a business.

We're going to be able to figure out, so what do I love doing?

And then scale myself into those things that I love to do and deliver in my business while having other people backing up the rest of the business.

But on a lower level, it's like working with a partner.

It's going to be mainly you or you too, who runs it.

And it's just important to understand just because someone is responsible for area doesn't mean that the other person can't work in that area, because that person absolutely can.

We just need to realize that we need to get delegated.

And the simplest way is I'm.

I'm in charge of delivery.

And you hold just as many meetings with clients as I do.

So I'm just responsible to make sure that the clients gets what they need when they need it in a good way.

And then step number two in how to make it work.

Working together in the business is communication rituals.

A clear set of rules for what do we discuss and how do we discuss it.

Like, I'm a morning person, you're an evening person, you good at working in evenings.

My brain shuts off after seven.

I can't think, I can't work, I can't do anything.

So if you have something at that time and you come to me and say, hey, can we just talk about that thing?

Or if I come at a time when you're busy doing something else and say, hey, can we just talk about that thing?

We have this, like right now, I can't talk business.

I need to be off in my head, I need to zone out.

I can't do that.

And we respect that.

I think that is such a crucial thing that you need to have this set of rules for that.

It's okay to say, I can't do this right now.

We need to respect that because otherwise we are not going to work.

Yeah, I don't know how aware you are, but many of the things and many of the answers that needs to come, we also put into our communication system, just as if we talk to anyone else, because I don't need a fast answer.

So literally just asking you a question in there, and I'm gonna get the answer when, when you get to it, because I don't need an answer right now.

But like, the hard thing about that to navigate, I believe, is that most of the time it's not that we need an answer and not even validation but we need an outlet of inspiration.

Because I believe that when I'm coming to you, if I'm inspired by something and you're not available to talk about something that I'm inspired of about, and you're shooting it down because there is no more room or space to do, be concerned about work stuff.

I think that if I had a different job, came home, were inspired by something, it would be easier for you to kind of consume even though we're off, because it's not about our business.

Yeah.

And I think that's just an important thing because when I feel that you're not available, I didn't think it was work that I was speaking of.

And then you're kind of shutting it down because you're not available, which I respect.

But then I also feel, okay, so how should I approach this and how should I take care of this?

But this is what we're saying about having a Slack channel.

Because I believe, like it's so different.

You've been at a job, you come home, you're excited about something.

A job.

It would never trigger me being responsible on me adding more work to my workplace or anything.

It would not.

It would be just something at your work.

This is quite very different because when you come in and you share something about work, you also triggering my work or you're also triggering my like responsibility, which means it's workload immediately.

Right.

It's a dynamic to figure out.

And my point is, it isn't easy, it isn't simple because we're in that same space.

And because I tend to work later than you at night and you can start working at 6 in the morning.

Like I never start working before 8.

I never.

Because I don't want to.

It's not a part of my lifestyle.

I do not want to work before 8.

I want to have coffee.

I want to be able to work out.

I want to be able to do me stuff.

Yeah.

So strategy number three, respecting each other's zone of genius.

Think protecting that.

If I'm in charge of sales and marketing, I should do more and more and more training into that.

Become better and better and better at that instead of try and know everything.

Because sometimes when you come to me and say, hey, what do you think about that?

And it's like, hey, you go with that.

You know better than me.

I think that's just a relief that I don't need to know anything.

Because before when I was running the business my own, I needed to know everything.

I think it's such a Beautiful place to get to where I don't need to know.

You just run with it.

Like I trust that you got that one.

You know what to do and you just make the decision you believe is best from what you know.

Yeah.

And it's also the most common problem.

You hear about school system, right.

You know, okay, so you're poor or you're not as developed in math so you're going to get extra math tutoring and you know, it doesn't make sense to some degree.

It's important to be educated enough and it's the same in our business.

You need to know the 10,000 meter perspective of where are we going in marketing, delivery and operations.

And I need to know where we're going in marketing and sales.

But the details, it is such a relief knowing that I don't need to step into the super heavy work on figuring out the exact steps of a somewhat complicated funnel because I know that you're covering it.

And when you present it to me, I can add a couple of perspectives that can make it better.

We always have two perspectives when needed but we do not absolutely do not need two perspectives on everything.

That's one small add on.

We never finished.

Like we've been into personal development for forever.

Like that's where we met years before we even became a cobbler, years before we even started a business together.

We've actually worked together for 11 years, but five years we've been running a business together.

The years before that we were co workers and we were running similar businesses and we were kind of like in a mastermind or like a board group together where we talked.

So we've been into personal development for a long time and we never done developing.

But I kind of like not just the personal personal development but the couple personal development.

I don't know if that's a thing, but the couple development in that.

Because what I recently discovered for me might be weird for you to hear that I only find out like a.

Month ago that we're exclusive.

Is that what you're going to say?

That was last Thursday.

I realized that.

Okay, that's good.

No, but what I realized is how different we are in the way we do things and think about things, the needs we have and all of that, but also our communication styles, how different they are.

And I think it's helping me to understand because you're the visionary.

So what it means to me is that I always have my eye on the long term goal and I'm always navigating my current actions towards that.

Long term goal where you are more an action taker and someone that is more practical.

Yeah.

So I don't care enough at certain times and points in what's going on right now because whatever is going on right now, it's not going to complicate our long term goals.

While you can be like some of the things that we don't actually need to bother about is becoming a problem because you want to execute and just kill all the problems.

So I would say that both of us have a core skill in moving stuff forward but we do it with very different perspective on that same thing.

And while that is super challenging, I think it's a blessing in itself as well because someone navigating towards the long term goals and the other one making sure that we are not missing out on the important stuff that is going on right now that makes sure that we are actually doing not just okay, but really, really great now.

I think that's awesome.

Yeah.

Because it actually loops back to also what you said in the beginning, our strength.

I'm a strategist and I'm always in the process like how do we do this if we want to get there?

So how do we do this?

Make it happen.

Were you really good at like looking at where, where we going and, and what's possible?

But I am actually getting a really important insight for myself while, while we're talking about this because it's becoming really, really clear.

The problems that you solve, you solve because it, it prevents us from moving forward.

Right now the problems I solve is the ones that makes it impossible for us to reach our, our long term goal.

But when I'm looking at our interactions with our clients as well, that's my main focus.

So where do you want to be?

And I'm, I'm to be miles down the road.

I'm in like a 30, 30 day game plan.

Where do you want to be in 30 days?

Okay.

What do you need in order to solve that problem?

And then we are talking about the same thing.

The practical steps towards day one, two, three, four, all the way up to 30.

And my insight is that we are approaching the same problem with very, very different perspectives.

Because the 30 day game plan for me, it's only proof of concept.

I do not care.

I want to take care of proof of concept so that I know that we can reach the 12 month goal.

And when you're looking at it, you're also looking at proof of concept.

You also orientated of course to the 12 month goal.

But you're more concerned with.

Okay, so how do we execute this?

In the best way, the fastest way.

Possible, the most efficient way.

Yeah.

So that we can make sure that you get that skill the way we don't.

So that you don't have to solve it ever again.

And it's very, very different.

And that's a big insight for me.

So if you like this episode, make sure you subscribe and leave a note to us and make sure you reach out to us on our Instagra if you want to get more trainings or if you have any questions or any suggestions on future episodes or anything about.

Running your coaching business.

And I want to give a small, small, small spoiler that next episode will not be exactly like this episode.

So stay tuned and see if you can see the difference.

Exciting.

Take care, guys.