Karen Kenney: Hey you guys, welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm super duper excited to be here talking to you about this topic, which I'm not sure what I'm going to call. I
could call this episode a bunch of different things, but I'll probably call it something like starting your day over, just just starting that son of a bitch right over. You
ever have, oh my god, you ever have one of those days when before, maybe even before, your feet hit the floor, or not too long after that, you've already kind of like shot
yourself in the foot, whether it's with your own pissy attitude, or breaking a promise to yourself, or doing something you said you were gonna do, like doing something not
doing something you said you were gonna do, or you find yourself doing something you said you weren't gonna do, and you're Just like, ah, like, just bug it. Like, I already
ruined it. It's already ruined. So I got to thinking about this because we were talking on a call for the nest. My The nest is my spiritual mentoring group, right? It's a
it's an experience, it's a program, it's a community. It's like, amazing people. And my friend who's in the group, was telling a story about how the other day at around,
like, four o'clock, she had found herself, like, in a mood. Excuse me, so she was like, kind of in a mood, and she had already just pretty much determined she's, like, it was
only four o'clock, but I knew, like, I was gonna be in that mood, like I had just decided, like, the day is already shot. The rest of the day is already shot, and I'm
gonna, like, just gonna stay in this state of mind. And so it got me to thinking about how a children's game, this little children's game that we played when we were
little kids, or this thing that we would call out, could literally just like, like, it's like having a time traveling device. It's like, it's like being able to, like,
have, like, a white eraser board right on your life, on your day, in your mind. And it's this simple thing where we it's a do over. It's like, can I just get a do over?
Like, I want to do over. And I know, like, if you were a kid. And I think I did an episode about this, something like this. It wasn't in the same exact angle, but it was
like 200 episodes ago, and it was like talking about, like, can I just get a duo? VA, so when we were kids, one of the fun things about when you were a little kid and
you're playing a game, and if things aren't going the way that you want them to. Like little kids will just randomly scream, do over, do over. But here's the thing, this
child like solution is still wicked good, like we can still put it to work and to use today as adults. So any time that your day is starting to turn to crap, or is already
turned to crap, right, pose like you're just like, you realize, like, you just want to bang your face off your desk, because it's been one of those days. So I will say this
though, okay, so when you're in one of those tizzies, when you're in one of those, like, panties in a bunch when you're in like, a mood, or you're just determined, determined
to self sabotage yourself, this child like solution is way better than being hijacked by our cranky little bastard of an ego and acting childish, because that's one of the
things that happens when things aren't going our way, or things aren't going the way we want them to we expect them to. Stuff isn't turning out, quote, unquote, right, right,
really, like, really, just how we had projected our preferences onto we can start to act like little spoiled brats. We start to have what I call like adult tantrums,
trust me, double Amen, hands if you know what I'm talking about, if you did this. Okay. Okay, so I learned about this concept, of course, as a child, right when we would
just randomly scream out, do over, do over. But this concept also got solidified, and I re learned it, and I might do a whole podcast on this. I've been talking to my, my
one to one client, about this quite a bit, and my the people in the nest as well, about how so much of personal development work, mind shift work, spiritual mentoring, all
the different things you want to whatever you want to call it, so much of it is about unlearning, learning and then relearning. So something that I learned and continue to
relearn all the time is a concept that I learned years ago in Al Anon. So if you don't know what Al Anon is, most people do, but if you don't, so there's aa. AA is, you
know, alcoholics, anonymous. And that's for people who find themselves needing help with addiction to substances or whatever. Right to booze, alcohol. Al Anon is for people who
have you know, found themselves in relationships, whether that's parental, like your family, your sister, your brother, a friend, your sweetie, whoever. So this is
for the people who like, quote, unquote, as they would say, Love the alcoholics, right? So I used to go to Al Anon. I've often jokingly said I have been lucky enough to
know and love quite a few alcoholics in my lifetime. So in Al Anon, though, there's this concept that is like you are not sentenced, like you are not inflicted by
right? You are not sentenced to having a bad day, meaning we are not stuck with the day as the way it's going. And if things aren't going well, right, we can stop that sucker
over at any time. So this concept of you can begin your day again at any point has literally been life changing. For me, there's a part of us I think that when
things get hot or things aren't going well or right, or all the labels we put on it, we sometimes just want to, like, pull the cover up over our heads, or just say, Screw it.
And we can apply this to, like, lots of different things. Food's just an easy one. Let's just say you decided that you were going some particular habit, whether you
were going to start going to the gym or you were going to stop eating a particular thing, right? And let's just use food, like I said, because it's universal and it's
pretty easy. So let's say you just decided, like, I'm not going to drink diet soda anymore. I'm not going to drink beer anymore. I'm not going to eat chocolate,
whatever the thing is. And then, lo and behold, you find yourself doing the thing, or you say something like, I'm going to stop at one piece of pizza, whatever it is. And
then all of a sudden, like you're three deep. You're like three pieces deep. And some little part of your ego mind says something like this, fuck it. You already
ruined it. Let's just keep going. Let's just keep ruining it. Let's just like, make it worse. A, A, we do this because we're kind of, like insane, instead of just like,
noticing what we're doing, stopping it and not creating further Havoc or further damage or whatever. We kind of throw up our hands in a little adult tantrum, and we just kind
of go, like, fuck it. I'll start tomorrow instead. Or, Oh, I already blew it. And it's kind of like, it's kind of like, let's imagine you're driving a car and it's got
four tires, and you you get one flat or something, right? You drive in and you roll over a nail, whatever it is you get flat. Instead of just stopping and fixing that
flat, you just get out and slash all the rest of your tie is like the other three, just the other three. You just totally disable yourself because you're, you're that
inner critic is beating you up so bad, and it also gives you an excuse to keep doing the behavior that you know isn't going to serve you right. So it's not logical in any
way that we would keep doing that, that we would keep perpetuating our own suffering. And yet, we do it all the time, and a lot of it, it's because our ego, we are being
hijacked by that ego mind we are being hijacked by that part of our mind that is trying to prove to us just how bad and guilty and shameful and all that that we
are. And if any of this sounds familiar, right? If you haven't already listened to my previous episode with my teacher, David Bedrick, it's the last episode The unshaming
way. It's such a powerful such a powerful episode, and I highly recommend that you give it a listen. So okay, here's the point I'm trying to make. If your day starts to go
to crap, just know
that you can always start your day again. You can start it like right over at any time. I don't care if it's 1030 at night, you still have an hour and a half left in
that day. You can start your day over at any point. And the most profound shift that you can have is to simply just start to shift your point of view, shift your perspective
on yourself and like what's going down, a shift in perspective. This isn't A Course in Miracles. We talk about how a shift in perspective in your mind from a thought
system of fear, fuck it. I already blew it. I'm stupid. I'm a mess. I'm like, all that criticism, all that judgment, all that attack. When we can shift out of that mode
and instead shift it to love that, in fact, is a miracle. And I think one of the things is that we sometimes forget, just like when we were little kids and we were playing a
game and we didn't like how it was going, and we would just go do over, like, it's like, there are no rules. There were no rules. Then, right, we're making up the
rules as we go, and there's. Really kind of no rules now. So if your day starts off on the wrong foot, if your day starts to turn to shit, like if it really, if things start
to go badly, rather than continuing to let everything go downhill, simply start your day over again. This is like genius. This is like genius, and we discount it, I think,
because it is so simple. So here are a couple of tools. So number one, here's what we need to do. We need to, number one, catch ourselves doing it. We need to catch
ourselves in that sabotaging act and notice that we're doing that whole like I am determined to be miserable, so it's three o'clock, it's four o'clock, it's two,
whatever time it is, and you start to realize that you you not only have been sitting in your shitty diaper, you you want to keep sitting. When you start to notice
that, right? This is when we have the opportunity catch ourselves, recognize what we're doing, okay, and then choose differently, and then we get to choose
differently. There's a line in A Course in Miracles, and it basically says that, all right, I gotta, I gotta really think on this for a second. Hold on. Oh shoot. Okay. I
just remembered it's, this is the this is, this is a line, I'm paraphrasing, but it's like trials, trials, meaning trials and tribulations, tough times, whatever the
situation is, trials are but lessons that you failed to learn, these trials that are showing up now. They're just lessons that you failed to learn presented once again,
meaning it's coming back around. Right? Trials are but lessons you failed to learn presented once again. Where before? Right? Where before, you did this thing. Now you
can choose again. You can choose differently. You can choose peace instead of this, and this is such a helpful thing, all right? Number one, we got to slow down
enough to catch ourselves in the act, and then, instead of meeting ourselves with judgment and cruelty and attack, we can simply just be curious and say, Oh,
interesting. I'm about to do the thing again, right? Meet ourselves with a sense of humor, with compassion, with curiosity, and then choose differently. Okay? So here's a
couple of tools. First of all, literally, just take a big breath in when you're about to catch yourself when you're about to go into that loop. Just pause. Take a big deep
breath in, okay, and then we're going to begin again. We're going to start our day all over again. So when we're all worked out, I wrote myself this note, when we're
all worked up and determined to stay in the shitty diaper, we might not immediately be able to remember all the great spiritual tools that we have in our spiritual toolkit.
So that's what I say. Like I have a lot of tools in my spiritual toolkit. I have a lot of ways to interrupt patterns, everything from breath work to bilateral simulation to
tapping to peripheral vision, like all these tools that I've learned over the years, right? But when we're in a moment, when we're being hijacked by our ego, we might
not always be able to remember or access all those tools, but something as simple and easy and fun as do over. I think all of us, I think all of us can probably, like,
remember that, right? I think we've got a pretty good shot at remembering just yelling out do over, okay, so if my own mind starts to get squirrely and things are starting to
go in the shit out, right, I'm just like, if I'm dangerously close, like, if I find myself dangerously close to either thinking, saying or doing something that I've
convinced myself might feel good in the moment, but I know that I'll probably regret later. It's really helpful to know that I can take a big breath in, stop right, choose
again, like shift my perspective, perspective, and to choose differently this time, to not just keep, like, not getting out of the car and slashing the rest of the
ties. And so, you know, I already blew it. It's like, No, I can begin again at any time. And so can you number two, this can be really helpful tool. When you change your
physical state, you change your emotional state, and that's what's really happening, is our thoughts are often driving our behaviors, our choices, our actions, our
patterns, our habits. You know, the things that we're about to do or continue to do that's just going to self sabotage us and make it even harder for us to begin again,
right tomorrow. So when we change our physical state, it can significantly impact our emotional state. The mind and the body are connected. We all know this at this
point, not just spiritually. The scientists have proven it right. So when we alter our physical posture, when we alter movement, or even how. Breathing, our breathing patterns.
We can totally influence our mood. We can totally change our overall well being, our emotional well being. So here's the thing, if you want to feel better, move your body
differently. So here are some of the things I wrote down that you could do. You could say or shout out loud do over. And whenever I do that, right, it makes me laugh.
Laughter is powerful medicine. So that's a nice pattern. Interrupt. You can literally get up, do some jumping jacks, dance around, literally go out a door and come back again,
signifying a new start. You can open a window, breathe in some fresh air and just be like, do over I am starting fresh right? You can take some deep breaths. You can
place your hands on your heart, or you can place your hands on your head. And when you're in that space, take a nice big breath in through your nose, exhale out twice as
long, and make a conscious decision to change your mind, to shift your perspective. And I know that some of this might be like, there's no way that this works like this is
way too simple, but I swear, I swear, you guys, it works if you consciously choose to shift your mind, if you constantly, if you consciously choose to shift your body and to
choose something different. So do over, and I don't care if it's been three months, three weeks, three minutes, three hours, or whatever, we can interrupt the pattern that
we are going down that neural network in our brain, that we are just making that neural network stronger and stronger every time we do this pattern or this habit, and if we can
interrupt it, I'm telling you so much change can happen. So don't feel like you're stuck. Don't feel like you have to be stuck. But, you know, with that adult tantrum and that
hijacked ego, mind and like, just like, again, think of it that way, literally. Oh, I've gotten one flat tire, and now I'm insisting on deflating the other three,
right? Like that is not gonna help or get you anywhere. So this idea that you can start your day over at any time is so powerful. And look, there's no rules. You
are the captain of your own ship. You are the CO creator of your life, and you can do whatever you need to do or want to do so that you're making better choices that
reflect who you really are, which is love. So I hope this has been helpful in some way. It's a quick one, it's a short one, but I was just thinking about it, and it came up
in a couple of different places, so I wanted to share it with you. So my desire is always to help you in some way, have some spiritual tools that we can apply to everyday living.
And look, we all have a story of ourselves, right, just like sabotaging ourselves, like right out of the gate and then just continuing to roll on down the road, just
going deeper and deeper into our own circumstances that we've created that we know is not going to end well. So we can always choose again. Remember trials are but
lessons that we failed to learn presented once again, where before we made a faulty choice. We can now right. We can now our internal teacher calls to us, right? And
says, my brother, my sister, choose again. Choose differently. I could choose peace instead of this. Alright, you guys, any any way that
you want to find out about what I'm up to, what I'm doing, how we can work together, just go to Karen kenney.com it's all there on my website. I always love hearing from
you guys, and I hope this was helpful in some way. And I love you guys, and I appreciate you. Okay, wherever you go, may you leave yourself in the animals and the
place and the people, the environment, better than how you found it, wherever you go, may you your presence, your energy, your love, be a blessing. Bye, bye.