Welcome to the Mother-Daughter Relationship. Show the podcast for mothers and daughters who want to build stronger bonds, deepen their understanding and transform their relationships. I'm your host, Brittany Scott, licensed therapist and mother-daughter relationship coach. After years of working with hundreds of daughters. And mothers. I've developed strategies that help break generational patterns, heal wounds, and create the loving relationships you've always wanted. Each week I'll be sharing insights from real clients, expert interviews and practical tools you can use immediately to improve your mother-daughter dynamic. Whether you're struggling with communication breakdowns, navigating major life transitions, or simply wanna take your already good relationship to the next level. The show is for you. And yes, the transformation I guide my clients through can be yours too. I'll share more about how you can work with me. It's time to experience the relationship you both deserve. Are you ready? Let's dive in. Welcome to the Mother-Daughter Relationship. Show the podcast for mothers and daughters who want to build stronger bonds, deepen their understanding and transform their relationships. I'm your host, Brittany Scott, licensed therapist and mother-daughter relationship coach. After years of working with hundreds of daughters. And mothers. I've developed strategies that help break generational patterns, heal wounds, and create the loving relationships you've always wanted. Each week I'll be sharing insights from real clients, expert interviews and practical tools you can use immediately to improve your mother-daughter dynamic. Whether you're struggling with communication breakdowns, navigating major life transitions, or simply wanna take your already good relationship to the next level. The show is for you. And yes, the transformation I guide my clients through can be yours too. I'll share more about how you can work with me. It's time to experience the relationship you both deserve. Are you ready? Let's dive in.

Hi, and welcome back to the Mother Daughter Relationship Show. I'm your host, Brittney, and in today's episode we are interviewing Erin Gory. Erin is a mom of two, an entrepreneur and author and a speaker, and she also built a wellness business. That is so cool. And in this episode we're gonna talk about grief. So grief in two forms, grief of having a mom who's still alive, but that you just can't connect to for whatever reason. And the grief of losing a mom either way too soon or. Really just at any time losing your mom to death and the grief of her passing. And Erin's gonna share her story with us. She's gonna share her book. And we're also gonna talk about her wellness business and how she has used that to rediscover joy, to bring joy back to the lives of other women and how it helps to calm her nervous system and others that get to experience the business that she has created and brought to her community. So, let's bring in Erin, let's learn about her mother-daughter story. The grief that she experienced and how it compounded and the business that she built to, to bring joy back into a life that she, didn't really feel like she could have with the level of grief that she experienced. And if you've experienced grief in your mother-daughter relationship, I hope that this brings you insight or helps you to see that you're not alone or just helps to give you permission to know that healing can look any way that you need it. And. How you describe your mother wound or how you experienced a mother wound is yours, and no one can tell you that it's not enough or it wasn't enough. Your experience is yours. So let's jump in and meet Erin. I. And we have Erin here with us. I'm so excited that she is willing to talk with us and share her story, um, and share just a new way of life and healing. So I'm excited for you guys to hear that part of her life. But yeah, Erin, introduce yourself to the listeners. Uh, tell us a bit about who you are. Oh, thank you Brittany. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for welcoming me. And yes, my name is Erin Gory. I am, it's still hard for me to say this, but I am a published author, um, and an owner, um. Again, these are all new, new labels for me, new titles. Um, I'm an, uh, a small business owner of a company called Muskoka Puppy Yoga, and we are an animal assisted wellness experience where we, um, have co-regulation happening in the, in the studio with animals, specifically puppies and people. Um. So, yeah, thanks for inviting me. I'm so excited to be here and, and, and talk to you today. Yeah. Tell us some about your book. Oh gosh. So my book is a memoir. Um, I did not set out to write a book. I never thought I would write a book, but I found myself, um, in a space where there was a collaborative book being created by, um, nine other women. And I was invited to write a chapter and I was in my journey of healing and, um. Sort of reinventing myself, and I thought maybe this is the right avenue right now for me to tell a little bit about my story, really just to sort of free myself from a lot of things that have happened in my life. So I wrote a chapter and out of that chapter. I was encouraged to write the whole story, the whole thing, which was terrifying, but also equally very therapeutic. Um, so my book is about my journey, um, in 50 years of living. So it was pretty special to have it released in my 50th year. Um, and yeah, I hope it gives permission for young women. Um, really I feel like anyone. That might find themselves, um, with a lot of grief in their life, with a lot of challenges that they have had to overcome and maybe as they have gotten older, noticed these patterns in their life and where they've come from. Um, it was writing the book that I really saw my timeline, my whole life, right in front of me and went, ah. Wow. I now understand myself so much more and why I've done the things I've done and how I've ended up being where I am. Um, and that really, it was me all along that created the life that I was in. And so when I had that realization, I realized it was me. That can change it. So when I think about writing a book, I think about this really big like undertaking and how much preparation goes into it and, and time to just like plan and then write. So you didn't set out to write a book, but then you wrote a whole novel. I know, and that just like blows my mind. It's so crazy because. I didn't, I never even, I used to say, oh, I should write a book. I mean, like anyone says, my book, my, my Life is like a book. But I never really thought I would do it, but I didn't write it in that sort of conventional way. I didn't sit down in front of my laptop and start typing. Now, I tried when I did that, um, chapter in that collaborative book, and I found, found I couldn't get my, the thoughts down and into my hands and typing so that I went to the old school of writing. And then I could hardly even read my own writing anymore. I was like, oh gosh, I don't know when I've written so much in the last few years. So my editor said, have you ever thought about just sort of dictating it? And I was like, what? And she said, just imagine you're talking to a friend. Hmm. So I started to record myself in my car while I was driving. And I would think, well, maybe I'll tell this story. And I would just hit the voice notes record button and just start talking. And sometimes it was like two and a half hours worth of talking. And then I would get home and take the transcript and start playing with it and start taking out my really terrible English. Um, and, and just letting it sort of speak and it became. A chapter and then I started to write each chapter like that. And it was so much easier because I, I feel comfortable speaking it and I guess I have trouble getting the words down when I was trying to type. So it, it was a, it was an amazing way of, of getting my thoughts down into this book and getting really vulnerable, um, when you're alone with yourself and your thoughts in the car. And just hitting that record button, I was able to really, I mean, I cried and I would get angry and all the emotions were able to come up and I could just verbalize them. I didn't have to try and figure out the words to write, and so it, it just worked for me. Yeah. I love that process like that. Even just the process of that is so the. Yes, yes. I had no idea how therapeutic this entire process would be until I was in it. And sometimes in really places I really didn't know I was going to go. And that alone enabled me to work through things that I didn't realize I hadn't worked through yet. Yeah, I often, have clients, do some kind of journaling. Sometimes writing isn't. Some people don't enjoy it or it's just harder to do. So I also tell them like video journal, which is kind of, you just did audio version, but like turn your camera on, sit in front of it and just talk like no one else is there. You can delete them after. But like just getting it out of your head, it's, it does so much. It's so beautiful. And you're right, with technology now we're able to. Just hit that record. And we're, a lot of us are really used to that sort of FaceTime Zoom podcast sort of forum, so it's not that unusual anymore, um, to hit that record and just get it out rather than Yeah. Having to write. Yeah. Okay. So let's switch, try that again. Let's switch gears to grief. Um, I know that's part of what we're gonna talk about here. Hmm. So, um. Tell me your process with it. I know that you kind of had two, two sides of grief. Yes. I mean, I have a lot, unfortunately, I've had a lot of grief in my life. Um, and it started at a really young age. Um, so I have that physical grief where I physically lost my mother and my sister, um, to the same disease. Um, multiple sclerosis. They both were diagnosed and they both passed. Not from complications of the disease, but you know, maybe my mom's was more of a complication and my sister was a choice. Um, but both of them I lost years ago, years before they passed, because slowly the disease that they were trying to battle was taking them from me. Uh, their focus went to themselves, which naturally does. Um, I think the biggest one was my mom because I was 10 years old when she was diagnosed. And in the eighties nobody knew what multiple sclerosis was. And, and she told us we heard disease. And at that time, when you heard disease, you immediately think cancer and you immediately thought death. So. We really did think we were going to lose her. And at that same time, she got very introverted, very much trying to figure out how to deal with this disease and survive. And in that, you know, I think I slowly was grieving that attention and that motherly, um. Sort of instincts and feeling that a mom gives to their child because she was so focused on her health. So it wasn't until I really got into writing the book and finished writing that I looked and thought, you know, I've been grieving her a really long time. Um, even though she was still here, and then the grief of her leaving was so huge. Yeah. So you, your grieving process started well before you physically lost your mom. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yes. I didn't have that same relationship with her that a lot of my friends had with their mom because my mom had medical limitations, or she just had, she was preoccupied or she wasn't feeling well, or it didn't matter. The disease somehow affected the relationship that we. Should have been developing and didn't have the opportunity to. Did you recognize that as a kid or was this more of reflection Looking back, I think more of it was reflection. Looking back as a kid though, I remember feeling like I wasn't being seen and I don't think I fully understand stood why I, I think I thought there was something wrong with me and that. There was two of us as well. My sister and I were only 12 months apart and we actually had the same birthday, so we were very, very close and my mom divided her attention between the two of us, and she would say that. So I remember as a child feeling like I wish I could just be with her, her and I, just the two of us. And I, looking back, I think the reason I felt that was because I felt so detached from her. And then as I've Yeah, grown older, I can see it was just so hard for her to balance her health and, and us. Yeah. How did that affect you? I think, well, at the time as being a child, I can remember, like I said, feeling like I just wasn't being seen. That maybe I wasn't lovable. Maybe she, there was something about me, but as now as an adult and I look back, I think. And now I feel that it was sort of the beginning stages of me not feeling worthy, not feeling like I was enough. And that carried through my entire adult life. It was that lack of a mother's approval and it, it just didn't really have the time to give it to me. Um. We didn't have that closeness, that ma maternal sort of thing. I know she loved us and I know she always wanted children. That disease just really stripped her abilities to really give us her undivided attention. Yeah. I'm so sorry. No, for both of you. Yeah. Yeah. It is sad. It is sad, but um, it's made me a better mother. Because I've really recognized what I lacked and I'm very, I guard against not slipping into any of those. Um, any of that, any of that generational sort of lack of better words, trauma that may have slipped into my life as a mom now, well, if I didn't get it, you know, why would I give it? But that's not how I've thought about mothering. I've always thought I didn't get this, and I learned like I yearned for it. So I made sure that I gave it to my boys. I probably gave a bit too much, but, um, but I was so sensitive to the fact that I did not have that nurturing presence and I, I really wanted to be that for my boys. Yeah. What is your relationship with them like? Oh gosh. I mean, I love, I love them and I am very much part of their life. They call me often. They're 23 and 21 now, which is crazy. Um, but I also made it very, um, intentional to have a relationship with each of them individually because they're very individual. They're really close. They're 24 months apart, but. They're really different. So I wanted to be the mom that nurtured their individualism, that I got to know who they were. Not they together, but they individually, and I remember that being a big thing with me. I wanted that attention from my mom, that she would see me, not Erin and her sister, Erin and Robin. My sister's name was Robin. It was always Erin and Robin. Erin and Robin. Erin and Robin. I don't think I knew I had. An individual identity. So I really did go into motherhood thinking I want my boys to know who they are and have a relationship with me. Individual. Yeah. So how did your grief either compound or change after you physically lost your mom? So growing up, you, you lost the connection, the nurturing, um, like the emotional side of your mom once the disease entered. How did the grief compound or change once she was physically gone? It was such a slow process that by the time she actually was gone, I mean, I was, I was a young single mom of two boys, so I didn't let myself grieve. I didn't, I didn't think I had time. 'cause I thought if I get down, if I, if I fall apart, I'm not gonna get back up. So. I remember kind of thinking, okay, you know, she hasn't been here emotionally for the majority of my life. It was heartbreaking that she passed, but I just kind of went on and it wasn't until the death of my sister, which was 12 years, yeah, 12 years later, that I ended up grieving her and my mom at the same time. And that was a real interesting revelation or a realization about grief was that you'll, it'll, it'll get you, if you don't allow yourself to grieve in the moment, it'll, it'll happen. It's just, you might not be able to decide when, and I had no idea that I didn't really grieve her until my sister's passing. And it was a lot of grief all at once. Um, so yeah, it was, it was a, it was different in the sense that she wasn't here physically, but I didn't have that ability to call her and get. Uh, that advice that you would from a mom or, you know, go to her when life was tough or I was going through my divorce or what, because she just was, wasn't capable at the time. Um, her disease had progressed so much, so, yeah. Okay. So there was never any, there was never any repair in the emotional part of y'all's relationship. No, she wouldn't have understood if I even said, mom, you weren't there. She would, the disease affects your, your brain and the way that you think and the way you communicate and, and the cognitively how you respond. So, uh, no. When I had kind of realized some of the grief I'd had as a child, there's just no way she would've comprehended it, unfortunately. So I had to kind of figure it all out, uh, by myself. Yeah. Yeah, and probably in her mind, for her it was like, well, I was there because Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So the grief of your mom physically leaving was delayed. You had a delayed response. Oh yeah. Um, yeah. Maybe 'cause you forced it or there was so much other life happening, you just had to kind of just push through what maybe would have come up if you had the time. Absolutely, yes. I think if I allowed the grief to be present, it would have. I just remember thinking, I don't have the time. I was a single mom working a few jobs at the time and raising two small boys, and I just didn't think I could cry and I wasn't sure if I started, if I could stop. So I, I managed to just sort of. Push that grief aside. 'cause I remember really, um, cognitively thinking about it one day in the kitchen and thinking, oh, oh no. Mm-hmm. I cannot do this because there's nobody here to pick this up. I, I don't have a choice. I just didn't realize that you can't push it away forever. I didn't really think about how it might come back. Do you identify with having a mother wound? And if yes, how has that, how has that shaped who you have become? So I know in your own mothering you really gave your kids the part, like the things you didn't get and the nurturing and the emotional side of a mom that you just weren't able to receive. But how, if you identify with mother wound, just how has that affected just who you became?

Yeah, no, I def I definitely, uh, identify with it. Um, I really notice it in those when moms are really present, um, sort of out in the wild with their daughters. Mother's day or special occasions, you know, your mom is cooking dinner, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I don't have that. Um, and the wound that it left just because it wasn't intentional or didn't look malicious or it wasn't abusive Ha it still leaves that same type of pain absence in a person, I believe. Um, you know, I, I can't imagine what it would be like if it was in an abusive way because I didn't have that. But I know the feeling that it feels like the emptiness, the void, the. Just the lack of being nurtured and that yearning to be nurtured and what that can do when you seek it and where you find yourself as an adult seeking it. And then where you might land when you, when you're finding it and, and who you look for it to come from. And that w that wound just sits there you're just trying so hard to. To fix it with other people, with attention, with, um, you know, with, I think maladaptive ways of trying to feel whole. And it wasn't until I stripped it all down and realized, oh my gosh, this is a mother wound that I've heard of. But I always associated it with a bad mom. I never thought that it could

Yeah.

With an amazing mom, but had had this horrible thing happen that she was not able to provide that nurturing that even though she probably thought she did and she would have if she was healthier. It just didn't happen. And so definitely identify with it. Um, I see the pattern that has happened in my life because of it. Um, I've seen my choices in friends, relationships, jobs, everything. And I really, really believe it stems from that. Um, so it, it really showed me the power of a mother and. You

Yeah.

think we spoke about this before, how, know, they give you, you have to go do a driving test to drive a car, and you have to do all of these things in this world. But be a mother, the most important job in this whole world, in my mind, because you were crea, you were the beginning stages of these beautiful humans that are gonna come into the world. And if it's it's hand, if it's handled incorrectly. It can really shape a person's identity and their whole trajectory. Um, I had no idea that really did not know until I had written all of this and, and went through my book and realized, wow, this is where it came from. So powerful.

Yeah, moms really are powerful. you said a lot there, but the one that, the part that stuck out that I wanna address first, and I'm really glad that you said, I hear from lots of women, um. Usually an email or like in a dm when I, when I hear from them in this way is that they are worried that what they experienced wasn't enough to be identified as a mother wound like, well maybe I don't really fit this 'cause it's like it's not enough is what I have heard. And so I've had to talk to many women that no one gets to decide what enough is, but you.

Right. I think, and oh, I could relate to that for sure, because especially when you think about how some, some of us are raised and when mothers are not equipped or they have struggles, um, of their own and therefore they're passing it along to their children a negative way, again, in an abusive way, it's hard to think that I've went through would even be the same thing. But I think it was, I've gone through this journey and I really come to this place of healing, that I can kind of pan out a little bit and look at it and think it, it the same thing. Um, I don't wanna say it's neglect, but it is, it was an intentional neglect, but neglect in its form. Enables a person to really go inward and feel that this is their fault, that this is, uh, especially as a child, you think I've done something wrong your mother's not responding in a way that you want them to, or you feel that they should be. Um, and it does, and I can understand why, why thinking. That, yeah. It's not enough that it wasn't abusive enough or it wasn't, yeah. Something that was physically, outwardly. I think it's very individual. but yeah, I look at my life, I see how much it changed and was changed by the lack of her presence, and still is. I still, I still struggle with it.

Yeah. Yeah. I like to describe the mother wound in its simplest form, if we just take away the word trauma or, or the word abuse, like we remove the big words that people usually look for. I think the simplest way to describe it is the lack or absence of emotional support.

A thousand percent. I think that is a thousand percent true.

Yeah. That can include. Traumatic experiences that can include intentional abuse, um, that can include a mom who did it by accident, a mom who did it on purpose. Like that can be a lot of things. But for some people it can be a mom who got sick and wasn't able to that lack. Um. The lack of emotional support

Yeah.

what causes the wound. Now, what causes a lack of emotional support just depends on the mom and what happened, but that's the layer of what's, of what's going on.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think that we hear wounds, we immediately think it was that someone was hurt, and then we go to that intention because people can't, I think it's hard for people to think that there could be, someone could get hurt, and it's not intentional when it comes to a mother but I think that's the other piece of educating ourselves as being parents and knowing really, it can be really subtle and we can do things we don't know that we're doing and they can really cause some significant wounds to a child. Um. And I, I mean, I find myself looking back because of course I didn't know, I know that I wanted to be different than my mom, and I knew just by sheer fact that I was healthy, I would be. But I look back and think, oh gosh. I'm sure there are few things that I couldn't have done differently, like all probably do, um, as mothers, but it is a very powerful job. And I, I think

It is.

realize that now our society, we talk a little bit more openly about it and a lot more candid about trying to, we don't need to be perfect. We just have to understand our responsibility role can be and how it can affect, um, our children.

yeah, I mean, even terming mother wound is so new, like just using that term and that, that phrase to describe how daughters do get hurt by their mom. Even that is so new and it's giving people, it's giving people the. What's the word I'm looking for? Why can't I find it? The permission? It's giving women the permission to actually heal and look at what has happened and not try and excuse anything or push the pain or like everything to the side because you know your mom did the best that she could. I think these terms and us actually looking at how powerful moms are. It's giving so many women permission to heal and permission to say, you know, it doesn't have to look like this anymore.

Yes. Yes, absolutely. And I think that it also, um, show, it gives it context. Now, I didn't have a word. I didn't even know anything really was wrong. I just, it wasn't until I started really healing that I noticed that was a very, this timeline sort of is where it started. I didn't know a lot about. Um, a mother's role and the, and how, how it could impact so greatly someone's entire life, a woman's entire life or, you know, child really like, it doesn't matter if you are female or male. Having that, um, a lack of support, as you said, a lack of emotional support from a mother really can, change the way that someone their life.

Yeah. So you say you started healing what, but you also didn't have the term for mother wound. Did you know that this is what you were healing? And if not. What started that journey? What was going on where you knew there was something you had to heal from?

I did not know that it was a mother wound at all. Um.

Hm.

until I wrote the chapter about my mom that I started to really have an understanding that that is where things started with me, because I, I could see my life and how I was just desperate to have somebody love me, and I thought, gosh, where's that from? Because my family was so loving and caring. And it was writing that chapter about her disease and about how our childhood was. And when I wrote, I was 10 years old when she was diagnosed, I was like, oh, I was so young. I have context now of what a 10-year-old is like. I've had a 10-year-old. And then I started thinking about my boys and thinking, gosh, if I was sick when they were 10, and then I never came back from it. I never recovered. I just continued to separate from them. Wow. Like it just really made me see that that is where it started for me I sought it after that love and attention and nurturing my whole life. And I adapted and maladapted to that loss. Um. And overachieved people pleased my way through life. Um, and it was after I wrote that chapter that I realized, gosh, you know, I had some ideas, but I did not think it came from her. I actually probably thought it came from my dad or, um, you know, a few other circumstances through my life. But when I realized it was my mom, I was like, oh. 'cause she's not a terrible person. So it was really, I struggled with even just accepting that that's what it was, because I felt terrible. It was almost like I was blaming her. So I had to really come into a place where this is, this is not blame, it is a, an understanding and a realization in my world of how her disease affected me. Uh, to no fault of my mom, which is almost even worse, you know,

Yeah. Why?

if she, if my mom was alive and had some sort of sense that I, like, I was able to talk to her and I said, this is what had happened. I mean, it would. Knowing the woman that she was, she, her and I, from what I understand people say we were a lot of like, it would've destroyed her to think that her disease not only took her life, but it really affected mine. Um, and then she passed before my sister, so she would not have known that my sister. The as well. So it just, she would've been so heartbroken to know that this disease really affected, I mean, it affected our entire family. It affected everybody. Uh, I, that's the nature of what a disease does to a family. Right. But yeah, it would've been heartbreaking for her.

Yeah.

for me to, it, it took a little while for me to, uh, be okay with talking about it because. It felt like blame, but it's not her fault. So it took a

Um, yeah.

just be okay with that.

And to just accept that, you know, this is just fact. Like it's just how things played out for her and for you.

Yeah, and it's not her fault. She didn't do anything wrong. circumstances were

Yeah.

how she handled. What was going on with her, and I think we all probably would be the same. So, but it doesn't negate the fact that I have to honor myself and be able to speak it and say it and recognize that it happened, and with no disrespect to her as my mom.

Yeah, so writing the book was healing. What other things did you do to help heal and to just Yeah. Get through all the emotions that came up, the, the compounding grief and the realization that you were like consistently searching for somebody to love you. Um, yeah. What, what else was healing for you?

I mean, I, I did all the therapies, uh, talk therapy, um, you know, psychedelic therapy. I, I went everywhere, did everything. Um, but the most surprising therapy for me in my grief and in my, you know, PTSD diagnosis, anxiety, depression, really, I have had it all and have it all. Um, was this animal therapy, was this co-regulation that I found in these puppies and it's. The most bizarre, wild experience has changed the trajectory of my life. Um, and I, I, I love learning. It's, uh, sort of a thing I guess I've developed as I've gotten older and to learn that the science behind animals and. I went into this puppy yoga class because I was trying to help my son who was struggling at university and I thought, this will be good for him and be good for me to get out of bed. I was struggling, uh, back in that time and here we are. We found ourselves in this class and he as much out of it as I did. But the surprise was that. It made me feel something I hadn't felt in so many years, this joy I just allowed to exit my life. And where that happened, I don't know, it was a long time ago. Um, when you have grief enter your life at such a young age and it, it infiltrates throughout your whole life, I think it's hard for us to justify feeling joy. So we kind of take it, at least I did. I just let it leave my life because I have too much grief, I have too much terrible things happening, so I can't be happy. And that little moment, it was just, I just let myself be in that class and that joy was, I wanted it every day. I was like, I need this. This has to happen. How do I make this happen? And. I didn't expect to, to do it as a job or do it myself, but it wasn't available close. I would've had to be driving a few hours a day to go to these classes and I thought, maybe I could do this. And maybe more people like me could benefit. And we have so many beautiful souls come to our class and I tell my story a little bit at the beginning and it gives people permission to talk to me afterwards and they say. lost, my husband my kids have been struggling because of the loss of their dad and their, the class just allows them to feel the joy and that

Yeah.

that I would never have guessed would ever happen.

Yeah. Um. I like, I, I deep dove into your Instagram account and even just watching the videos and seeing, um, some of the people laugh or, um, how maybe they were really focused and like the move they were doing. And then a puppy runs up and you can just see like the joy just come across their face. So I hadn't even experienced it, but just watching the videos, I was like, oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah,

Yeah, definitely.

it is true. It's true, and I've heard that so many times. People will message me from across the world and they say. made my day, or you don't know how much I needed to see this this morning. And I'm like, oh gosh. Okay. So it makes it all the more worthwhile to know that

Yeah.

people all over the world just by watching. Um, and

Yes.

mean, that shows our connection right? To the humanity of people. It's just that, that when you boil it down, it's just joy, pure joy in its purest.

Yeah, joy permeates like it's hard. It's hard not to feel joy in even just watching the video. So I imagine being in the room is even more powerful. And I say all of this is not a dog person. Like I've never had a pet. My mom didn't really allow that. Um, so I haven't gotten to experience like the love of a dog myself, that people talk about. I don't know what that, I don't know what that feels like, but just seeing the videos, I'm like, oh. I like, I could see it and yeah, it was really cool.

powerful. That is so powerful and something really powerful for me to hear because especially if you're not a dog person. Um, so that

Yeah.

just reinforces that science behind it that, you know, seeing the joy already, that co-regulation that's that. That, that being around that kind of joy, even watching it is that powerful. And that's, I mean, that's amazing to me. I think that's just wonderful. So it makes me happy to hear that.

Yes. I'm glad that you, I'm glad that you brought that to your community and something that you needed, but you, you brought it to other people and allowed others to experience what it did for you, so

Yeah.

that's awesome.

felt like there has to be more mes in the world

That.

that could experience this end, find the healing in it. Um, and it's just, I mean, I can't, I'm constantly researching and finding out more and more science behind this, which just makes me feel. That much more encouraged that this could become more mainstream and help more people, um, because we feel safe in that environment. We're not being judged and we're living in that moment. We're right

Hmm.

The puppies are living their best life in that very moment. They're not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. And that really does teach us that sometimes just being, um, is the best thing that we can do for ourselves.

Yeah. If, if all of this has been healing for you, I know the power of me just watching the videos of the puppy yoga without ever experiencing it and bringing me joy, just watching. Um. You will be the second author that I've gotten to interview who wrote a, wrote a novel. You guys did it differently, but you wrote a novel based on your mother wound and your motherhood experience and how it shaped you. I know that reading these stories can also bring about healing for other people. So yeah, tell us the name of the book again. Um, because I wanna link it 'cause I think other people should read this and add this to their healing journey.

Thank you. Yes, it's called, we have so much in Common, and the reason that title came about was because as my journey started to unfold and I started to become a little more. Open about talking about what has happened in my life. found that other people had experienced, whether it be grief, trauma, um, depression, health. And when I spoke about it, it was like I was giving them permission to also speak about theirs. And I found myself saying, gosh, we have so much in common. And I

Yeah.

a minute. I think that's the name of my book. So it's called, we have So Much In Common, I've yet to find someone who's wr wrote, read it and hasn't said, I saw myself in so many chapters. You don't have to have experience. What I have. To feel that connection and be able to see something in your own life that you can relate to. So, um, it's available on Amazon, of course. Um, all Amazon, all over the world, um, wherever you get your products. In amazon.ca.com, dot uk. Um, we're also in Barnes and Noble. Um, online. You can order it there, you can order it in Canada, in Indigo chapters. You can order the UK at Waterstone. yeah, it's available everywhere, so it's very, I'm really honest, like I went there, so if you want something that might make you feel like you're not alone, it'll definitely do that.

Yeah. Yes. And I believe I checked, it's also on bookshop.org

Oh, there

that way. Indie bookstores. Yeah. Get some, some of these proceeds that the large bookstores are getting. Um, but yeah, like. The permission to, to feel and to know that you're not alone

Yeah.

can be so powerful, which is also why I do these kind of interviews because I want more women to know that the mother wound experience that you have gets to be as unique as it needs to be

Yeah,

that there is no enough. Like it, it is what it is. If this is what you've experienced and what, how it's impacted you. If you wanna call it a mother wound, we get to, and so yeah, grieving, grieving your mom while she's still alive is very difficult. Grieving your mom after she passes is very difficult.

Mm-hmm.

And yeah, hearing more of these stories to give women permission to say, you know, yeah, that, that did hurt me and that left a lasting impact. Um. I'm so proud of women like you and, and everyone that's willing to just open up and, and share to give, just give more permission.

Oh, thank you. And it's funny 'cause someone said to me the other day, wow, you were so honest. And I said, you know what I thought. If I'm gonna write a book, why would I write this much? Like, why would I only dive a little? Uh, why, why wouldn't I just be so completely honest? Because if honesty and being brave enough to say the things that I have buried and hidden, and hidden from my whole life would help somebody else not feel like I did when I was hiding all of that. I, I mean, it's worth it because, like you said, just. Being women and knowing that we can as community bond together and rise each other up and support because we all have something. And it's hard in society now with Instagram and all the things to think that person looks so put together and they look like they have

Mm-hmm.

No, probably they have the most,

Yeah. Yeah. And highlight reels are so amazing. Like we're not seeing, we're not seeing the hard parts of their life. We're seeing the highlights,

Exactly. We're only, we're only letting people in the lobby. We don't let them up to the penthouse.

right? Or the basement. All the things we.

True story. Exactly. Yes.

Um, do you wanna leave the listeners, um, with anything? Do you want grieving women, whether they are grieving a mom that they're estranged from, so a mom that's still here, but they just can't be in relationship with, or they've experienced a loss of a mom and maybe it was too soon, or they hoped for more time because maybe reconnection could have happened and time ran out. Like, what do you wanna leave them with since you've experienced grief and have walked through different forms of healing?

I think what realized, and I have realized this very recently, is that I wouldn't be the person I am and I wouldn't be here to be able to support other women and be the voice maybe for someone who's just not there yet. If I didn't have everything happen as it did, to say that I'm okay with how it happened, no. But to say it has to have happened for a reason and maybe I was chosen because I am supposed to be that voice. Um, and the only way I could be is if I went through what I went through. And so if you can see, I don't wanna say that you can see the good in it, but if you can see that perhaps it happens so that you could do something different or better, or whatever it might look like for, for you, for, for a listener, that it gives you the power back and you start to realize, okay. I was never meant to have a mother. Mother me. I was meant to not. So that then I can help. If I had a mom from 10 forward, that was wonderful. Like she would've been, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here doing this. So that took a long time though, 'cause I was angry and I think you have to go through the gr grief process

Yeah.

through that to get to that place. So. I just hope I give people hope that it's possible.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing this and sharing your book and your story and the puppies.

Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to Brittany for having this beautiful space that is very unique. Um. About mother wounds because it is something that is very powerful. So I thank you for, for offering this. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Yeah, you're welcome.

That's all for today's episode of the Mother-Daughter Relationship Show. Thanks so much for spending this time with me. I hope you picked up some valuable insights that you can start using right away in your own relationship to create deeper connection and understanding. If something from today's episode resonated with you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with the mother or daughter in your life who needs to hear this message. And while you're at it, please consider leaving a rating. And review so we can reach more families and transform the way mothers and daughters relate to each other. For those ready to take the next step, you can visit my website to learn more about my private coaching programs and my program designed specifically for mother-daughter pairs. Whether you're dealing with communication challenges, life transitions, or just wanna strengthen an already good relationship, I'm here to help. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you in the next one.