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once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you

learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think it'd be the

podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

Hey. And I'm John Michell. Today,

we are going to dive into the topic of stories

that we tell ourselves and how that informs how we kind of move

through the world. So what do you think, John?

I love it. Love it. I think it's so true. Those

stories that we unconsciously tell ourselves that are from

decades old, darn sure impact our behaviors.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's

interesting, you know, so let's talk a little bit about that.

Because the story is, your story is your story. Right? So let's

do a little bit of clarification here. Your story is your story,

the events of your life happened, they've unfolded, how

they've unfolded. But then there's the narrative, which is

the story that you're telling about your story? Right? Yeah.

And so that's kind of what, what we're talking about is how you

choose to interpret the events of your life. And how that

informs like your subconscious, and the actions that you're

taking today, based on kind of that narrative that you have

around your story.

Right, right. You know, it's I think this is a

great topic, because I see that, that, yes, things have happened

in your life, and you gotta define just actually what

happened, not, uh, not giving meaning to it, just what

actually happened. And, you know, I was working with a

client last week that was talking about the mistakes that

he had made in his life, you know? And I'm like, why were

they mistakes? You, you, you did what you thought was best at the

time based on all the information you you had, but he

perceives that he made mistakes. And I suspect you're like I am,

where I'm like, you know, I've never really made a mistake, as

is, you know, I did what I thought was best. And now I can

look back and realize that that was not maybe the best course of

action. But it doesn't really feel like a mistake. Now. I'm

more experienced not to not to do the same thing. But what do

you think about that?

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's goes

back to that framing, right? It's this idea of is life

happening to you? Or is life happening for you? Because the

one put is in that victim space, like all of these bad things

have happened for me, to me, therefore, I life has been

really hard for me, or it's hard for me to overcome this or why

me? And then there's the other mindset, that is like, okay, all

of these things have happened. What am I supposed to have

learned? What was I supposed to have learned as a result of

going through that? You know, you know, so it's, it's just

again, what is the narrative? You're telling about your story?

You know, so there's been many times, you know, where things

haven't been going well, in business, I think I've talked

about like, the first two years of being in business for me, my

first two years back in Oh, wait, and no, oh, nine, we're in

the depths of a recession. And my first business had to do with

hiring, you know, and so it literally was, okay. You know,

questioning yourself. You know, am I doing the right thing,

there were lots of tears, right? You know, and it's like, no,

okay, this path. If I if I can make it through this, I can make

it through anything. You know, and like, these different things

that I've gone through in the past have prepared me for this.

You know, like you're okay, you can make it through everything.

Anything. You've done this, but you've done hard stuff before.

For and needed out the other side. And that was kind of the

story I was telling myself versus it would have been really

easy to go well, you know, timing was terrible, you know,

I, this stuff always happens, you know, and to thrown up my

hands and and, and given up and give it and used it as an excuse

to not move forward. But it was like, No, I've done hard stuff

before. All right, it's not going to be the picture of what

I wanted it to be. I'm gonna have to pivot and do some stuff,

some offer some services I didn't want to offer, but I need

to make any money. So it was, you know, I think the different

framing can either put you into solution mode, or it can put you

into that victim and kind of feeling paralyzed mode.

Right. You know, let's think about this idea. The

story should tell her yourself. You know, I think most of the

stories are, are not verbalized, to other people, at least not

verbalized very often. Do you think that's true?

Um, I think that's true. I think a lot of

what's happening is happening in our internal dialogue. Yeah,

subconsciously, under the, you know, like, like, we've talked

about where it's kind of running behind the scenes. Yeah. So

yeah, I mean, some people are better at it than others, you

know, about sharing their stories. And, but I think a lot

of exactly what you're saying a lot of those stories happen

internally,

you know, I, this idea of this internal dialogue,

I completely agree with you, but I see how fundamentally weak,

the, the internal dialogue that we have with ourselves is

because it's very fluid. It's not, you're not necessarily

saying to yourself specific words, it's just sort of a

feeling semi feelings, semi words, dialogue, and it is so

easy to fix that, you know, through through our methodology.

When when you say, Okay, wait a minute, I'm fixing the stories

that I'm telling myself, because I'm now in my visualization, you

can articulate precisely with words, what happened? What was

the takeaway from it? What did I learn? And I'm gonna articulate

those words to myself every day to now change how I am,

subconsciously, as well as emotionally. Does that make

sense?

Yep, absolutely. And I think one other technique

in terms of that, so the visualization a number one,

that's a great way to do exactly, reprogram that

subconscious. The other thing that I find very useful, is if

part of the thinking time, and we've talked about this in

earlier episodes, where I will literally like so if I feel like

I am in a place of worry, that's one of my behaviors, one a

behavior that I have in my visualization, but one of the

techniques that I use is inside my thinking time. I'm like,

Okay, what is the so whatever the challenge is, what is the

story? I'm telling myself about this? Okay, write that down.

What's, what are the facts? Yeah, now, let's go over what

the facts are, you know, and then is that true? You know, is

it absolutely true? You know, so like, I'll go through an

exercise in that thinking time, that helps me completely reframe

it, where I'm like, Okay, I'm breaking that bad, you know, or

I won't label it bad, good or otherwise, but I'm breaking that

behavior that doesn't serve me by being very intentional about

how I'm going to process this. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. You know, Kelly, I'm really glad you

brought that that up. And and for the audience that doesn't

know exactly what she's talking about, you know, we have a

technique of setting aside time two times a week to just think,

to what we call deep think and, and, you know, think about this,

this is something I've thought about lately a lot about our

methodology is, is the thinking is goes hand in hand with the

visualization where you're feeding the succinct

articulation of your life. Well, the thinking is where you do you

look at those stories, you shape those stories, you reframe those

stories, you give new meaning to the stories. And so that's sort

of the guiding part of your life and then when you think it

through, then you put it on your visualization to impact your

subconscious mind and your daily action. And so the combination

of those two together is what makes our methodology so

powerful, don't you think?

Oh, 100%, you know, so I would want an action

item for those that are tuned in and listening right now is start

to identify, you know, what are some of those stories that

you're telling yourself that are holding you back? You know, and

you can look at some of the different areas in your life to

see where maybe you're, you've been stuck, or aren't making

progress, that might be the first place to start? And just

ask yourself, like, Okay, what's the what is the narrative? For

you around? You know, why this hasn't progressed? Or, you know,

that's a really great way to kind of get started with

thinking about, you know, what are some of those obstacles? Or

things you're having a challenge moving, past or achieving? Or?

Because a lot of the time it has to do with that subconscious?

You know, again, 95% of our thoughts are at the subconscious

level, and they're comprised of those stories. So what's your

narrative? You know, is your narrative going to serve your

subconscious? Or is it going to do the opposite? You know, so

for me, I look at all of the experiences that I've had, you

know, so we'll speak specifically about, like, some

of the things that haven't gone well, or challenges I've had to

overcome, or maybe some horrible things that I've experienced,

I'm I wouldn't change, as as terrible as a couple of them

were, I wouldn't change anything, because they're part

of this path. They're part of what made me I've learned so

much, and become a better human being as a result of those

experiences, and have been able to serve at a different level at

because I've had those experiences. And so again,

that's how I've chosen to frame that rather than that being in

that place where, you know, that victim hood has such a negative

connotation, and but it's easy to go there, because that's what

we're designed to do, you know, what I mean, we talked about

human fallacies, you know, the other day, in a previous

episode, and that's what you're designed to do is to, you know,

go to the negative So, right, again, just how you frame your,

your narrative.

Yeah, I, you know, I, I think, you know,

based on our methodology, the way you you do life is is to

have the exceptional life is yes, you start by thinking two

times a week, and, and thinking through your life and figuring

out your life and discovering whatever the challenges are, and

thinking through it. Any problem in your life is ultimately

solved, either from thinking through it, or getting the

outset side input of somebody else. So that thinking time two

times week is step one. And then step two, is now we got to turn

that thinking into being showing up with a proper actions

happening automatically. And that's where having the succinct

articulation of your life and feeding it to yourself 12

minutes a day, boom, that, in fact, that affects your your

daily actions and your mindset, and gives you this immense sense

of control over your life. But the two are so intertwined

together, that together, they're powerful.

Well, it's funny, John, I remember when we

first met years ago, and part of the process of building your

visualization is filling out this questionnaire. And this

goes to the point of thinking time, and those two things going

hand in hand, because I hadn't sat down, and like really

thought deeply about anything. I was running as fast as I could

and had been for years, you know, and just really, in that

kind of reactive mode, and, yeah, there was planning, there

was a business plan, you know, that had dust on it, you know, I

hadn't looked at developed it, you know, but in terms of

thinking deeply about my life, and my business, and some of the

it was a hard practice, and I remember so much of what I did

was at the surface, you know, and then you're like, nope, try

again. Right? And then going deeper and deeper. My point

being, this can be a challenge at first because you're if you

aren't doing this and setting aside time to think regularly,

and to think deeply and to just be with yourself and Write your

thoughts down and this can feel intimidating. It can. What's the

word I'm looking for? And you can feel inadequate, you can

because you're just it's something you have to train

yourself to do is my point. And so for those of you that are

like, Well, geez, what do I even think about when I, you know, or

what do I write down during this thinking time? You know, we have

a whole video on this, right? We can put the link to the, to the

thinking time video for people to watch and learn more about

how to do this because it is an art. And it does take some

practice.

Right, right. Yeah, it's a it's a simple

process. I mean, but But yes, in fact, if you if you want it,

send an email to John at think it'd be a.com. And, and I'll

give it to you. And you know, one other thing that's

interesting, that's, that's sort of related to this. I have seen

and this This changed in my visualization. Maybe a year ago,

where I saw the and I got this from Jordan Peterson said that

there's power in being what he calls an articulate creature.

And so I now explain, think it be it to people that come to me

very succinctly and clearly. And I've, and I've written that out,

what do I do? When somebody says, What do you do? I have

what what I tell them? I do, and I have seen the power from

feeding that to myself each day. That now, I mean, when somebody

asked me, boy, I am right on point I can I can drive it home,

from their perspective of not knowing anything, about 20 times

more effective than I could three years ago, because I just,

you know, train my subconscious mind to know exactly what to

say, relative to the viewpoint of the listener. And that's been

a powerful lesson. But to ramp this up, again, is this idea of

the stories we tell ourselves, drive our behaviors, there's a

way for you to change your interpretation of the stories.

And from that, through the methodology we have, you can

change behaviors and those change behaviors can recreate

your life. So, with that as a summary, until next time, we'll

see ya.

Thanks for listening today. If you've had

your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an

email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So

email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or

John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life