Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life, I'm very happy. I'm very

excited to be spending some time with you today. I hope you are

relaxed. I hope you feel safe. I hope you feel good and your

skin. And if you don't feel good at the moment, if you feel

stuck, if you feel sad if you feel

I don't know without a big mission

without any purpose, then I hope I can provide you with tools

that bring you value and purpose and contentment.

I'm very excited and so pumped because I just launched my

coaching offer my four week coaching

program. And I had the first person signing up and I'm

expecting many more people to sign up and to jump on this

opportunity to discover themselves to know who they are

what they are made of.

And yeah, I'm just so incredibly happy to be getting to know

people from all over the world on a deeper level and helping

them out and sharing time and space with them. So if you feel

you're ready,

don't hesitate, jump on that opportunity and shoot me a

message on Facebook, Aurora Eggert on Facebook or the

Borealis experience on Instagram. Or you can also

message the Aurora Eggert coaching page on Facebook. And

let me know that you're interested to dive a little

deeper to make sense out of your mistakes to make sense of

yourself.

The better we know ourselves, the stronger and the videos we

can be and the better we can serve the people around us and

just live a more content life.

If you listened to my podcast, you have a growth growth

mindset, there is no doubt that you are okay with

having the mirror shown to you. You are okay to rest and reflect

you're not a person who's trying to run away and escape anymore.

You want to get to the juicy parts of life. And I'm so

incredibly proud to be serving people like that I always dreamt

about this I always wanted to be surrounded by warriors and

goddesses who want to grow who want to learn from their

mistakes and who are not living alive in victimhood victim

mentality. I just saw that my laptop needs juice.

And in order for this episode to not be cut off, I'm just going

to grab my charging cable here and plug my laptop

into the power source. All right, let's begin. Today I want

to talk about your blind spots, what our blind spots

blind spots I would describe as behaviors beliefs.

The way that we show up in life

but are not aware of

and those blind spots, if we start becoming aware of them.

It's a very, let's say humbling journey to be on. Because you

had a certain image about yourself you saw yourself a

certain way.

Most people want to see themselves as a good person, as

an intelligent person as a beautiful person as a person who

serves other people and as a yeah valuable contribution to

society. And in order to fit into that believe that we have

created ourselves or that society has kind of made us

create. We are not showing up authentically as ourselves and

the less we are aware of these blind spots

the harder it's going to be to relate to people on deeper

levels. Of course, if you meet a person who has just as many

blind spots, as you have, they're just playing the very

same game, then you can be killing each other for the rest

of your life. And you'll be holding yourself in that space.

And everybody is going to be happy and content. But if you

keep meeting people that, that say, reject you move away from

you leave you don't want to have any business with you.

If you keep having the same conflicts all over again,

if if you see your life as a circle of failures, and you're

just surviving instead of thriving like other people are

doing, then there might be a big chance that you are not aware of

how you behave.

And the art is, I want to say that right away is to not beat

yourself up once you realize that you're doing this. Because

you had to, it was a way to survive, it was a way to feel

good. It was a way to belong. And belonging is absolutely

critical when we are born, when we are children when we are

teenagers, and even into adulthood. Although some people

might claim that they are lone wolves. Yeah, deer person out

there who claims to be a lone wolf. That was mean for the

longest time. But we all need each other. Look at your plate

when you have lunch, or dinner tonight. And see how many people

made it possible for you to have fork and spoon and your hand, a

glass of water or wine in front of you a plate and food. This is

1000s of people who made it possible for you to enjoy that

meal. So we're all together in this, we all want to be

dependent and independent to some degree.

But what I want to talk about today is the areas in our lives,

the areas in ourselves that we don't quite want to see. But

that make it impossible for us to succeed in life. If you don't

address these blind spots. Of course, you can force yourself

to the top, you can read books, you can start becoming a new

persona and new identity. But that will not be sustainable,

you will fail and crash when time comes when when it will be

too hard for you to maintain that false persona that you

created.

So why do we have blind spots? Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why don't we just be authentic and truthful with ourselves and

with everybody around us? I strongly believe that we do this

because from early on, we are being taught

that who we are, what we express is not perfectly in alignment

with society, maybe you were the child who's a little bit too

loud, a little bit too excited, a little bit too.

physically active, or while that child probably has ADHD and

let's cram some pills into their body because they have to be

quiet and sit on a chair at school. You can see in my voice

already how agitated I am. Because children are meant to be

moving around. They are meant to run around and climb trees and

discover nature and ask questions as much as they want

to. They're not a cop that we need to fill. They're not a

little body that we have to force into sitting six to eight

hours on a little chair that is uncomfortable as fuck. They're

not made for that.

They need to express themselves. They need to be free. They need

to be encouraged by what we do, how the system is still running

nowadays. You got to fit and you gotta shut up and you got to

stop dreaming

and just follow rules. Don't get me wrong here rules are there to

protect

helped us to keep us in check, I get it. But when it comes to a

child when it comes to you and expressing yourself, and you're

not harming threatening anybody,

then for God's sakes, let children express themselves. And

let them be okay with that empower them.

But we're not doing that as a society. We are suppressing, we

are punishing, we are

isolating people look at the prison system, horrific how it's

being dealt with here in the Northern American culture.

So from an early age on, we learn that you have to behave a

certain way, you have to have certain attributes to be wanted

by people, be it the teachers attention, your parents

attention, and later on your intimate partners attention. Now

let's stay with the romantic relationship. Because that's the

easiest example we as women were being taught that you got to

look pretty, you got to have curves, but not too many you got

to fit into certain clothing, you got to talk a certain way

you got to flatter your

your eyes a certain way, and then you will be wanted.

So this guy over there is looking at you and wants you, he

sees what you're offering.

What he doesn't know though, is that you picked yourself up that

you made yourself look want it.

But it is not reflecting who you are.

And you'll be able if you get into a relationship with that

guy, you will be able to sustain it for a little bit. Right he

will comment on your beauty He will be excited, you will be

excited you'll have wonderful sex. Awesome.

Once relationship reality hits you though, and you realize

effect to wear makeup to wear heels all day long is not really

my type are more the baggy pants, nor makeup, messy hair

kind of person. And I love to be seen for my sense of humor in my

intelligence, my ability to make money. Well, shit.

Your partner picked you for your beauty and your grace, and not

for your intelligence and your money making abilities. He

doesn't give a shit about those attributes. Now, the big

awakening comes after a couple of weeks, sometimes only a

couple months or years, when you decide to be yourself, and then

your partner fields duped.

He doesn't know who you really are, you're not really

trustworthy, because you were somebody else at the beginning.

And now you feel like you can't be yourself. Now how can you be

in that relationship now comfortable? If you know that

you have to put up that mask again that you were wearing at

the beginning.

That sounds like backwards. That sounds like stuck. That sounds

like totally uninteresting. not interesting at all.

Same goes for man. Let's say the man

is

very good looking, has a great job is making lots of money.

And when he goes out, he always invites people he has beautiful

suits on.

And

yeah, that is him.

He gets to know that lady who's very attracted to him. He's very

attracted to her. And after a little while he realized us.

I made lots of time for that woman now for that relationship.

I'm actually yeah, very interested in pushing forward

with my careers. So I want to focus more on my career again,

and still be in the relationship but maybe a little less

time consuming. All right, he removes himself a little bit

from the relationship. Instead of seeing her five days a week

he can only see her once a week or twice a week at and

yeah, conflicts start to arise. And all this because at the

beginning we decided to only show our pretty little face on

one side.

But we didn't show up as ourselves because we were taught

we are not enough we're not good how we are and if you show up as

yourself on a first date, you

You might as well

go on a hike by yourself. Like, you're not going to be asked on

a date. Again, if you show up as yourself. I know so many women,

women who were told this by their mother that yeah, oh my

God, how you got to lose a couple pounds, you got to read

up on a couple of books to be more intelligent. Otherwise,

you'll never find a man. And those women learn to put on a

mask. And same goes for men, I'm certain 100% certain that same

thing goes for men.

Now, there's other blind spots out there. So for instance, if

your mother were was more absent than others, if you felt that

she was focusing too much on work, or on the other siblings,

you create a certain image about yourself, you make conclusions

about that behavior, about your mother's behavior. This is what

children do, they don't make assumptions about other people.

Because other people, especially the ones that they depend on,

they're going to put on a pedestal.

And they're going to criticize themselves. I'm not enough, I

don't get the attention from my mom, because I'm, whatever

conclusion you made.

All right, fast forward into adulthood, now, you start a

relationship, and you picked a partner who is just as absent as

your mom, emotionally totally unavailable, because that's what

you're used to your mom is your first source of love your

caregiver, if you were adopted, or didn't grow up with parents,

the person who is closest to you when you grow up, and cares for

you.

Now you're stuck with a person who's unavailable, who's kind of

distant, and you don't really like it yet, on the same side,

you kind of are attracted to that, because this is how you

learned what love is.

Now what we're going to do in our coaching sessions, is that

we're going to discover where did you start make assumptions

about yourself? Which assumptions? Are we going to

question? Is this true? That you are a little worthless piece of

meat? Is this really true? How you saw yourself when you were

little? Especially if you saw yourself? Yes, small and

meaningless? Well, let's question those believes. And

let's reframe them. Let's forgive our parents, who made

mistakes, who were not given a manual on how to raise us. And

let's move on. And let's finally connect with people that are so

deserving of our love. And then also treat us how we deserve to

be treated. But first of all, you got to dig a little deeper,

and find out what are the beliefs that you are making up,

or that you made up in the past that you are still holding on

to, but that way that we can start questioning, because

they're holding your back, they're keeping you stuck.

They're keeping

you in a little box, and you will keep attracting people that

are a match to these beliefs and not to your true nature. You are

not your beliefs, you just acquired them to survive. But

now it's time to thrive and to be in a position of power and

not a victimhood anymore.

All right. I hope this episode was triggering to some degree,

and makes you think and makes you reflect about what you

bullshitting yourself about. And I will be out there very soon

again, latest on thirsty. Thank you so much for listening. Thank

you so much for subscribing. If you're a new listener, thank you

so much for reaching out giving me feedback, especially on Apple

podcasts. If you give me a five star rating there. Ah, it would

mean the world to me. And if you are interested in my four week

program, or eight week, week program, then reach out to me

and I'll find out with you.

What is best for you what you need and what you want to work

on. Thank you so much. Bye bye