Hey, it's David. Welcome back to A Changed Mind, a sanctuary for your spirit, a place where each and every episode, I will remind you of the certainty of good in the future. I'm your friend, your host, your guide, David Baer. Today, I want to tackle comparing, comparing ourselves to other people, feeling like we're not as far along as we should be, feeling like we're not good enough. I want to support you in letting go of comparing. And in today's episode, we're going to talk about that. I'm going to give you three powerful distinctions to help you let go of comparing yourself to others so that you never engage with this unproductive habit of comparing. And really, this is so simple that once you understand it, you'll never need to compare yourself, nor will you want to. As a result of really seeing what comparing is and understanding these three distinctions, my income, impact, my life multiplied by 10 when I let go of comparing myself. And my journey to creating a $35 million coaching company has really been a journey of letting go of my limiting. There's a direct correlation between the personal healing that I've done and the transforming of my beliefs and an increase in the level of joy and the level of income and the level of impact and the level of information and knowledge that's coming through me and my business. And you know, the experience of my own personal suffering and comparing myself, living in indecision, procrastination, self-sabotage, it was a great part of my history. It's made me really, really good at helping others. And then I had to figure out how to become a marketer in order to get that information out. And I'm not a guy who's figured it all out. I'm just a guy who's sharing what I've learned in my own journey. And I wish I had learned this earlier because comparing took a lot of my life away. It occupied a lot of my data base. If you've been comparing yourself to other people, if you're wondering if you've been comparing yourself to other people, it's very common that it sounds like I'm not as far along as I should be. Really moving into a suffering state as you're looking at your social media feed and other people celebrating or humble bragging or bragging about their own life, it can make you feel like you're not good enough. Or you may be asking yourself a question like, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me that I am where I am? Or that it's taking longer than I expected, produced goals or outcomes that I have in life? And those types of thoughts will move you into a pretty consistent state of stress, anxiety, shame about who you are. Sometimes that will then materialize in frustration or anger with other people as you start to reject that negative emotion externally. And then it has a significant impact on our lives and on our businesses. Because while we're comparing ourselves to other people, we aren't actually taking advantage of all of the daily miracles and opportunities that are coming our way. We're occupied in the space of our mind and so we don't have the space in order to have new ideas and tap into our intuition or to be innovative. And it prevents us from making more money and it creates stress and self-sabotage. So I want to give you these three really important distinctions. No matter where you are in your life right now and no matter where you want to be, if you can retire the habit of pairing, that's going to create massive strides forward for you in closing the gap between the two. So number one is this distinction that the vision you have is actually being to you. The vision you have is actually being given to you. See I found that a lot of people think that they're making up the vision for their life. That they're sort of inventing their goals and that's not true. When I first got started, I wanted to help people. I had been an entrepreneur for about 15 years ever since I graduated college. And then in late 2010, I realized I was a drug addict. So I started work recovery program. Then from my recovery, I got in personal growth. Really understanding human potential and human evolution. And I was designing some frameworks. I was improving my life and I saw a lot of other people stuck in personal growth. And so thanks to the encouragement of, at that time, my girlfriend, Carol, who's now my wife, she said, you need to go out and share this with other people. But there were all of these other great teachers out there. There were already people doing what I want to do. And I felt like they were doing it at a much higher level than I was. Eckhart Tolle, I think I had just read his book, The Power of Now and A New Earth. And I was like, wow, this is a round break book. Really put length Abraham Hicks. Esther Hick channels Abraham. Source Energy and Infinite Intelligence. It is a brilliant teaching teacher. How can I compare with Infinite Intelligence? Wayne Dyer. Napoleon Hill, who wrote Think and Grow Rich. I mean, who needed anything after that? He explained the law of attraction. The movie, The Secret. Great teachers like the Reverend Michael Beckwith. Joe Dispenza. And of course, the GOAT, Tony Robbins. I remember sitting in a Tony Robbins event. I went to Unleash the Power Within in Dallas in 2014. And there were 12,000 people in the Dallas Convention Center as Tony was taking them through his framework. And I thought, who needs David Bayer? What can David Bayer do here? David Bayer at that time was coaching a 19-year-old on social anxiety, the son of a friend of who mired the work that I was doing. How is David Bayer ever going to become a Tony Robbins? Why would anybody want to hear from me? And yet I had this vision. And I was questioning. And you have. And what I've come to understand is that the vision you have or the desire you have, it's not a thing that you're making up. It's a thing that's tuning. I had an previous episode where I talked about fourth dimensional creation. And one of the things I suggested or really claimed was that all of creation already exists. The vision that you have for your life, whether it's starting your own business or taking your business to next level or being in a soulmate relationship or having a healthy body or financial prosperity and abundance, you're not making that up. You're tuning into the existence of that vision as a reality. It hasn't yet materialized or manifested in your life. But like a radio receiver tuning into a song, you're tuning into a potential reality that 100% absolutely exists. And so it's important that we start to trust the vision. You're not making it up. Regardless of who's out, there's a reason that you're being called to create whatever it is that you create. Number one, because it already exists. Each and every person is given a vision and the universe doesn't fall. You think about the idea of a higher power or a loving universe or a loving God or a Jesus or an Allah. Even if you're not religious, even if you don't believe in a higher power or a source energy or a spirit energy, just look at the love that expresses itself through the perf harmony of all the living creatures on our planet. Perfect harmony of the cells of the body. The perfect harmony and orbiting and structuring of the solar system. Life gives life and that is a sign of love. And so I don't believe that you would ever be given a vision or a desire for something more in your life if it wasn't possible for you to create it and if you weren't the one who was meant to create. And so there must be a reason for it. At the time, I couldn't see a reason and thankfully I had people around me who encouraged me forward and I just had this innate feeling inside of me that regardless of how big Tony Robbins was or how amazing Wayne Dyer, Ectolia, Abraham Hicks or everybody else was, that this was something I needed to do in order to forward. But what I found over time is that lots of people need lots of different information and lots of different flavors. There are a lot of people who don't resonate with Tony Robb. Maybe they resonate with me. There are a lot of people who get into personal growth thanks to the bohemian of the goat, Tony Robb. And then they want more and they end up in our community. So you know, life or the universe is always expanding. There are always going to be people who come before you. There are always going to be people who are examples of a version of what could be possible. But that is meant to inspire us forward. So it's important to understand that you're not making up vision. You're tuning into the vision and that life, kind, loving, generous, intelligence that is in us and that is us and that is all around us, would never give you a vision if it wasn't yours to create. So the mind will want to compare. The mind does. It was a useful tool when we were living to survive. We'd compare how much food we had to our neighbor's food because it was a limited amount of resource. We needed to make sure we could survive. It's a great learning tool, being able to observe what others are doing and then to be able to incorporate it into our progress forward. But the way that we're all using comparing or the way that it's really using us is no longer needed in that. So just know that if you've got a vision for something greater in your own life, you got to trust the vision. You're not making it up. It's something you're receiving or tuning in. That's number one. Number two, what others are achieving is making your path even easier. What others are achieving is actually making your path even easier. Now that's not how we experience it. We experience it as, oh wow, that space is already filled. There's no room for me. Oh wow, look what other people can achieve. Why I haven't been able to achieve it yet. There must be something wrong with me. But actually all the examples of what you want that are out there that you may find yourself comparing to and moving into a suffering state around are examples of what's possible for you. And not only that, they're paving the way. A couple of years ago, there was a massive influencer that moved into the business and personal development coach and they launched a program. And again, because I was still working through my comparing, I thought to myself, well, there goes the whole market, right? What does anybody need? Our coaching program. Now that this influencer has moved into working specifically with entrepreneurs on both their business and their mindset and they launched a program. But what their program did and what this influencer did was they brought even more into this space where my wife and I are inspired to make an impact. And what we found was that there were so many people who had gone through their programs who realized after going through their program that they needed more support, that that influencer literally became lead generation for our business. They literally paved way, brought even more people into the space of creating an impact-driven, spiritual vision-based business. And so it's important to understand that those people that you pair yourself to are actually making it easier. They're creating new business. They're clearing the way. They're showing what's possible. They're bringing more people on. And you are part of that next level of expansion. So you have a vision that is calling you towards the leading edge of expansion. And those who we compare ourselves to are justifying the possibility of what we will create. And then we're meant to even go beyond where they are. You know, there's a line in scripture, even if we're talking about the goat, right? The goat Jesus Christ even said, hey, don't compare yourself to me, but be like me and go beyond me. And you will perform even greater miracles than I. So every example you see out there of what you are misinterpreting as something wrong with is actually an example of what you're capable of and even more. Florence Scovel Shinn wrote a book called The Game of Life. I'm a big fan of her book. She's got a series of aboutabout four books. The Game of Life is her flagship book. She was around in the early 1920s. A lot of what the work that she brought into the world was then used by Napoleon Hill and Neville Goddard. She talks about how scripture is actually an explanation of the laws of consciousness or metaphysics or the law of attraction. And she has a beautiful affirmation that she suggests you use when you find yourself comparing yourself to other people. And that affirmation is, what God is doing, he is doing for me and even more. And you can replace God with universe or life or spirit or nature or mathematics or geometry or whatever worked for you in higher power. But it's true. You're being exposed to other people achieving great things as a way of showing you that right here, right now, your higher power is in the process of fulfilling on those same desires for you if you allow it to and even more. Now the if you allow it to is a much larger conversation and you can go back to so many of the episodes on this podcast where I talk about the key is non-resist. The key is to have a desire and then to not get in the way of the desire with our limiting beliefs and with the behaviors that are an effect of our limiting beliefs like pairing. We compare as a result of our limiting beliefs. When you are no longer holding limiting beliefs around you being as far along as you should be or other people being better than you or the opportunity being gone because somebody else doing it. When you no longer hold those limiting beliefs and you're no longer engaged in pairing, you've got this new space and in that new space you have access to ideas. You make yourself available to coincidences and synchronicities. You're able to take inspired or innovative action and you produce the vision that you have. So what God is doing for others, he is doing for me and even more. That's why someone else's success that aligns with vision that you'd like to have for yourself, whether it's financial abundance, whether it's business, whether it's impact, whether it's influence. That's why it's being shown to you as an example of what's possible and even more and more so I would suggest that that person is paving the way for you. Not just showing you that it's possible but actually practically speak creating new business models. They're doing the heavy lifting. They've got the machete and they're paving the path through the jungle. Now all you need to do is follow the principle number three. Don't trust everything you see and I want to give a caveat. Don't be a hater but don't trust everything that you see. You know as a result of being in this space or industry that I'm in, I've been able to meet a lot of different influencers out there, have private conversations with some of the biggest people out there and I'm also now trained as an impact-driven marketer. So I'm able to take a look at what somebody's doing and to verify whether it's accurate or not and I'll tell you right now some of the biggest names that you follow are making false claims. They don't have real Facebook followers. They're inflating their YouTube views. They're sharing success stories of their successes in terms of how much money they make or how quickly they made it and it's not true. And I know this because behind closed doors, especially in the work that I do, working with high-performance entrepreneurs on their mindset, on their well-being, on their spiritual growth and alignment, I get exposed to this information. And so I don't want to name names but I just want you to know that there are a lot of people out there that are making false claims and because you're taking those claims as truth, you're feeling like you're not as far along as you should. So it's very, very important that you don't trust all of the information you see about other people's success. And at a very basic level, we know that we should do this. We know that people are having a very stressed out day where they're worried about their financial situation or their relationship is on the rocks or whatever else is going on. They're experiencing anxiety or depression. They're taking medication. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You know, to try to support their emotional state. But their life is not going as well as they represent and then they turn around and selfie in front of a yacht. Hashtag Instagram. So you know, one of my recommendations is don't pay attention to social media at all unless it feels good. Other than the fact that I leverage it to make an impact in the world, I have no idea what's going on in my Facebook feed or my Instagram feed. And in fact, why I love these audio platforms like Apple and Spotify. And it's why I love YouTube because I'm not as influenced by fake fluency. And when I do get exposed to it, I apply the first several principles that we talked about. I know that I'm tuning into my own unique vision and it's waiting for me and I just need to keep moving towards it. And I know that all of the people that I see out there are just paving the way and inspiring me into my own possibility and even more. But you know, this third principle is really, really important. You know, don't trust everything you see. And don't be a hater. You know, appreciate that there's so many other people out there who are still working on resolving their traumas. They're not as far along as you are in their own person. Yet they happen to have big platform. And so there's a even more dramatic expression of their insecurities. We see that a lot in the celebrity world. And yet we hold people up on these pedestals. You know who you should be holding up on a pedestal? You. When I used to go out and drink, I'd do Sunday fun day with my friends and we'd go out to watch sports games and I'd see people wearing the jerseys of their favorite athletes on. You should be wearing your name on. Because no matter where you are right, the vision you have is possible and you're on your own unique hero's journey to achieve it. Your path may be a little bit longer than someone else's. Your process may feel a little bit more difficult. But all that means is that there's an even greater promised land on. And I'm speaking from experience. You know, I didn't grow up in an environment where, you know, we didn't have enough money to quote-unquote get by. I wasn't sexually abused. I wasn't physically abused. But I grew up in an environment where there were micro traumas all day ever. And as a result of that, since the age of 13 years old, I was addicted to pornography. Then I became addicted to marijuana. And then I came in. It was not easy to work through all of it. But my path is a different path than someone else who may seem like, you know, everything is rainbows and sunshine. I got to tell you, it never is. Because we grow through the contraction and the challenges of our life. And so if you're experiencing contraction and challenges in your life and you have been for a while, I want to encourage you to stop comparing yourself to other people because you are on your own unique path to your own personal great. And the irony is, is that one of the few things that is preventing that path from unfolding even more clearly, even faster, even bigger, even better, is that you're engaging with this thing called comparing. And so my encouragement for you is just to give it up. Know that that's a part of your human being operating system. It's a habit. But notice that when you're comparing and just use that Florence Scovel Shin affirmation. Every time you start to notice yourself comparing yourself to other people, all you need to say is, what God is doing for others, what he is doing for me, and even more. Bless those people and carry on. Know that it's probably not all that it's cracked up to represent. Probably not all rainbows and sunshine for those folks too. We wish it's rainbows and sunshine for everybody. We're not wishing trouble on anyone. But you're also not going to allow your mind to use that as fodder or material to cause you to question where you're at in your own beautiful journey right now. You're right exactly where you need to be right now. And the way forward is not so much you figuring out how to achieve what you see those other people who represent your possibility having achieved. Your path is going to continue to beautifully unfold simply by not doing the old way of comparing. Give up the comparing and see what happens. I mean if you think about it for a moment, how much time do you spend comparing on a daily basis? Judging yourself, criticizing yourself, comparing yourself to other people, being resentful towards other people, wishing you had what others had, wondering why you don't have it yet, then thinking about how long you've been trying to achieve it but not yet having it, what that means about you, what that means about the world, what that means about money. It's a lot of time. It's a couple hours a day, right? At least it was for me. Stack that on top of all the other limiting beliefs we have and we're spending 8, 10, 12, 16, all of our waking hours in a primal state. And so the growth that you're looking for is actually just gonna come from reducing the amount of time you're spending in a primal state. Reducing the amount of time you're entertaining these limiting beliefs. And so if you can take with you on the road, almost like a living meditation, just notice. Here's a great exercise for you when you get done with this episode. I gave you some examples of what comparing sounds like. I'm not as far along as I should be. They have it but I don't. There's something wrong with me. I'm not as blank as them. Just take a moment to write out the thoughts that you have when you find yourself comparing. Take a moment to write out the thoughts that you have. How does it sound like for you and who do you compare yourself? What are you comparing around? And then just write down the emotions you, feelings you feel when you're doing that. And the reason for this exercise is that then you will be even more aware when you're doing it. I guarantee you. You're gonna go, wow, there I am again comparing. And if you want to break the habit, we've got some great tools. Listen to some of our other episodes. Jump on over to the David Beardock website. Trainings. Go grab a copy of my book. Amazon. It's got all the tools. But if you want just a simple one, pay some homage to Florence Scovel Shinn. Notice that you're comparing and then just break that habit by saying God is doing for others what he is doing for me and even. The beautiful thing about that is that as soon as you break the habit, it's like doing a new repetition in a new direct. You're building new muscle. You're building new neurons in your brain that represent the distinctions that I've shared with. I know that this vision is meant for me. I'm receiving it. I'm not making it up. I believe in a generous God. I believe in a higher power that would not give me that vision if it was not going to give me tools and resources to be achieved. I know that these people are just paving the way for my greats. They're doing the early work. They're doing the heavy lifting. I'm grateful for them. I wish them success too. And I'm excited about my own success. God is doing for others what he has done for me and even more. God is doing for me what he has done for others. And either way works. And then lastly, just remember, you know, it's not all shiny. Everybody's working through stuff. I'm working through stuff. Other people are working through stuff. There's a lot of posturing that takes place. Follower numbers, YouTube views. You would be shocked at the ways people who represent that they have it all figured out are masking their pain. And again, it's not to hate on them. It's to wish for their healing. It's to love on them. But it's to acknowledge this so that you don't use that as false evidence of your inferior. That's really, really important because there's nothing inferior about it. I know that if you're listening to this video right now and especially if you're still here 25 minutes into this video, you're doing the work and you're on the right path. And the plan will unfold for you. Your work to do is not trying to figure something out. It's a stop doing. Only thing that's preventing it from being easier for you and more joyful for you. The only thing that's preventing you from connecting more consistently with spirit and with yourself and with others and that is the comparing. The comparing and the other limiting belief. If you can let go of those things, the rest takes care of itself. You have a masterpiece of a life you're sculpting, right? If you think about it, the sculptor doesn't create his or her masterpiece by stacking on a bunch of glob clay and finding a perfect eyeball to stick onto a head and like a Mr. Potato Head find a nose and lips. No. The master sculptor has a raw block clay and removes everything that doesn't belong in order to create the masterpiece. You have a masterpiece inside of you. All you need to do is remove what doesn't belong. And what doesn't belong in terms of today's conversation? Comparing. You're doing a great job. I'm glad you're here. I'm looking forward to seeing you on the next episode. I love you. Have an amazing, amazing rest of your day. And you know what? You're not gonna do it perfect but see if there's an opportunity every once in a while when you move into comparing to remind you God is doing for you what he's done for others and even I'll see you in the next one.