1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,029 So we had a senator who was MIA for almost a month. 2 00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:09,720 he was the majority leader in the Senate, which is like a really powerful position. 3 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:13,280 He's not anymore because he's 84 fucking years old. 4 00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:17,540 we know he was taken to the hospital That was a month ago almost. 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,820 We had no signs of life from him whatsoever. 6 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:26,940 No contact, and the video that we were able, that, that has surfaced of 7 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,490 somebody being taken out of his house 8 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:37,410 shows a person on a stretcher with no life-saving measures being taken 9 00:00:38,110 --> 00:00:44,550 after the 911 call specifically said that there was an elderly person in 10 00:00:44,550 --> 00:00:48,260 cardiac arrest Like bro had to be dead. 11 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,060 There's just no way that he wasn't dead. 12 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,810 So they took him to the hospital and they said he was getting quote 13 00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:56,850 unquote, excellent care Okay. 14 00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:00,130 first off, they said that he was working remotely. 15 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:04,430 And I was like, "Yeah, me too. The only difference is I'm only dead 16 00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:09,969 inside." but then they said that, he was not running for re-election. 17 00:01:10,469 --> 00:01:12,769 Is it because dead people can't run for re-election? 18 00:01:13,159 --> 00:01:14,170 I have questions. 19 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,460 They're not getting answered. 20 00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:20,090 and then they said that he was recovering well, but still no signs of life, 21 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:22,110 and that he was still hospitalized. 22 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:30,889 And I was like, "Does hospitalized include in a refrigerated drawer with a toe tag?" 23 00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:34,189 Because none of this sounds correct. 24 00:01:34,479 --> 00:01:37,329 so everybody was talking about Mitch McConnell because 25 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,479 Mitch McConnell was missing. 26 00:01:39,179 --> 00:01:41,009 Nobody had seen Mitch McConnell alive. 27 00:01:41,509 --> 00:01:45,869 people were saying they were talking to Mitch McConnell, but nobody had any proof 28 00:01:45,909 --> 00:01:47,299 that they'd talked to Mitch McConnell. 29 00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:53,203 Oh, and Mitch McConnell's wife, three days after he was hospitalized for a 30 00:01:53,203 --> 00:01:58,843 supposed heart attack, left the country and went to China Not sketchy at all. 31 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:06,073 Oh, and then they spotted, flooring people at his house remodeling the floors. 32 00:02:06,573 --> 00:02:12,873 We also remodeled the floors in my dad's house after he literally died on them. 33 00:02:13,373 --> 00:02:14,303 So I'm just saying. 34 00:02:14,683 --> 00:02:16,633 Anyway, all very suspicious. 35 00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:18,013 All extra suspicious. 36 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:25,253 So Saturday, this weekend was like Mitch McConnell jokes galore. 37 00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:30,333 there's so much stupid, crazy political shit all happening at the same time. 38 00:02:30,923 --> 00:02:33,153 They're trying to desensitize us to it. 39 00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:36,833 Instead, I feel like they have just made us sensitive to fucking everything. 40 00:02:37,093 --> 00:02:38,063 we're sensitive all the time. 41 00:02:38,623 --> 00:02:42,953 Like always, everything is constant sensitivity. 42 00:02:42,993 --> 00:02:45,833 I feel like everything is whack-a-mole all the time, and my 43 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,073 brain is constantly being whacked. 44 00:02:47,403 --> 00:02:52,853 Anyway, so Saturday I went to bed, I think I went to bed at a normal 45 00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:54,573 time, though I don't actually recall. 46 00:02:55,303 --> 00:03:00,833 Woke up in the middle of the night, checked my phone, and saw somebody I 47 00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:07,223 know posted that Lindsey Graham died. 48 00:03:08,213 --> 00:03:13,023 And I was like, "Oh, did they finally announce that Mitch McConnell died?" For 49 00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:16,873 the uninitiated, lots of people confuse Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell. 50 00:03:17,713 --> 00:03:21,683 I looked at the post and saw Lindsey Graham, but read Mitch McConnell, 51 00:03:21,973 --> 00:03:24,463 and then looked at it again and I was like, "Oh, this guy I know said Lindsey 52 00:03:24,463 --> 00:03:25,453 Graham when he means Mitch McConnell. 53 00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:29,183 That's weird." And then I saw another post that said Lindsey Graham, and then 54 00:03:29,183 --> 00:03:30,663 another post that said Lindsey Graham. 55 00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:34,203 So of course, I turn on the television to the news box. 56 00:03:34,703 --> 00:03:36,153 Lindsey Graham died. 57 00:03:36,363 --> 00:03:40,423 We have confirmation that Lindsey Graham, who was on television healthy 58 00:03:40,423 --> 00:03:44,673 the day before, died, was supposed to be on Meet the Press the next day. 59 00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:46,113 He died. 60 00:03:46,613 --> 00:03:49,343 No confirmation of whether Mitch McConnell is still alive. 61 00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:53,223 I would like somebody to go into Mitch McConnell's basement and see 62 00:03:53,253 --> 00:03:58,203 if he has like a creepy portrait of himself that seems to be getting 63 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:03,083 older, because that is the only way I can explain what has just happened. 64 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:07,943 Lindsey Graham, 13 years younger than Mitch McConnell, still 71 65 00:04:07,953 --> 00:04:09,773 by the way, and like a hard 71. 66 00:04:10,243 --> 00:04:11,173 Bro has lived a life. 67 00:04:11,693 --> 00:04:15,773 but Lindsey Graham is dead, not Mitch McConnell. 68 00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,503 Nobody has confirmed that Mitch McConnell is dead. 69 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:23,833 And then the next day, they send out a picture of Mitch McConnell sitting 70 00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:31,653 next to his wife that was either fully fake or his medical emergency was a 71 00:04:31,653 --> 00:04:33,983 facelift there's no middle ground. 72 00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:39,073 None it was the craziest weekend, the whole weekend. 73 00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:42,423 the thing about Lindsey Graham, and I actually didn't realize this. 74 00:04:42,513 --> 00:04:46,273 I knew that there was a longstanding rumor that he was gay. 75 00:04:46,523 --> 00:04:47,133 I knew it. 76 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,043 I'd heard it, obviously many times. 77 00:04:49,993 --> 00:04:52,753 But I did not realize that he was a confirmed bachelor. 78 00:04:53,253 --> 00:04:56,513 I thought that he had like a beard, basically. 79 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,493 I thought he had gotten married and had a beard. 80 00:04:58,973 --> 00:04:59,293 No. 81 00:04:59,753 --> 00:05:02,413 Single his whole life, never been married, no children. 82 00:05:02,913 --> 00:05:05,173 Now, stories, lots of stories. 83 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:08,143 Did you know that NDAs expire when you die? 84 00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:09,163 They do. 85 00:05:10,013 --> 00:05:14,513 Every escort in DC has stories about… And I should be 86 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:17,423 clear, every male escort in DC. 87 00:05:18,363 --> 00:05:21,263 I said that Lindsey Graham was survived by a bunch of apps on his phone that 88 00:05:21,263 --> 00:05:25,223 we're not supposed to know about, because, whew, there are stories. 89 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:30,023 I posted on the internet a statement from Lindsey Graham's housekeeper that 90 00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:34,333 just said, "I do not wear shoes because they make me fall down." and the people 91 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:39,443 who got it are my favorite people in the world, and the people who are confused 92 00:05:39,793 --> 00:05:46,253 cannot be my friend anymore Because that's like baseline, like good culture. 93 00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:48,863 Like you should know what that means or what that's from. 94 00:05:49,343 --> 00:05:51,693 but it also led to me watching "The Birdcage" on Sunday, which I 95 00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:55,553 very much needed in my soul, and I forgot how much I needed in my soul. 96 00:05:55,863 --> 00:06:02,263 So that was what this weekend was like, was just nonstop whiplash political news. 97 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:07,623 like what kind of bitch move is it to preempt your best friend in death? 98 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:12,203 And the thing is like he got, he was in Ukraine the day before, 99 00:06:12,813 --> 00:06:15,433 so it's like, has anybody waved a Geiger counter over that guy? 100 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:16,003 Are you ready? 101 00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:19,243 No So yeah, it was just a wild weekend. 102 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,423 I'm very tired and my brain is like I had a hangover. 103 00:06:22,663 --> 00:06:27,733 I did not do anything fun aside from post silly things about Lindsey Graham, and 104 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,183 I fell back asleep after like two hours. 105 00:06:30,513 --> 00:06:34,643 Also woke my husband up in the middle of the night and said, "Lindsey Graham died." 106 00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:38,243 And he said, "No, that's Mitch McConnell." And I said, "No." I 107 00:06:38,243 --> 00:06:39,723 was like, "I'm-- I understand. 108 00:06:40,253 --> 00:06:44,773 I understand where you're coming from, but that is not what happened. 109 00:06:45,123 --> 00:06:47,453 I need you to listen to me." but yeah. 110 00:06:47,763 --> 00:06:50,753 There's also a question about, like, how does somebody call 911 when 111 00:06:50,753 --> 00:06:54,993 you live by yourself in a townhouse in DC and there's nobody there? 112 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:59,876 And they're saying that he called one of his staffers and said that he was 113 00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:03,116 having chest pain, and they called 911. 114 00:07:03,616 --> 00:07:05,756 Anyway, that's my weekend 115 00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:07,316 Now I wanna watch Birdcage again 116 00:07:07,521 --> 00:07:08,851 This was a rumor, I don't know if it's true. 117 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:12,875 Yesterday people were saying Trump scheduled an address to the nation. 118 00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:18,045 Somebody reported, I don't know if this is true, but somebody reported 119 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:25,985 that he's doing a press conference to announce that the two senators who were 120 00:07:25,985 --> 00:07:31,255 elected in Georgia, who were elected in 2020, were fraudulently elected 121 00:07:31,255 --> 00:07:32,985 and that their, elections were a scam. 122 00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:37,135 and there was rampant voter fraud in Georgia when they were 123 00:07:37,135 --> 00:07:40,815 elected Just what I just, what? 124 00:07:41,065 --> 00:07:44,605 the Republicans are down two senators, so let's just oust two Democrats. 125 00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:46,305 We'll fix the problem that way. 126 00:07:46,565 --> 00:07:49,125 So every time I'm like, "I'm not gonna post any more politics on the 127 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:52,415 internet," this guy does something and I'm like, "This motherfucker." 128 00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:57,655 It's like I could not hate this man more if I tried, I'm gonna try anyway 129 00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:59,895 It's my obligation. 130 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:04,765 but I will say The Dead Senators would make a really good throwback band name 131 00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:08,475 So what kind of music would the Dead Senators play? 132 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:10,410 That's a really good question. 133 00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:11,610 I don't know. 134 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:15,160 I was thinking like French Regency punk 135 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:20,962 A mix of banjo music And also like gay club music 136 00:08:21,462 --> 00:08:22,432 And maybe together 137 00:08:22,932 --> 00:08:23,792 But with banjos 138 00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:28,692 obviously on the banjos, obviously it's like a punk rock minuet. 139 00:08:29,262 --> 00:08:29,872 That's what it is. 140 00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:31,352 that's what I hear at least. 141 00:08:31,482 --> 00:08:33,722 I don't know what that would sound like, but that's what I hear in my head. 142 00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:36,299 I'm inviting you to come fight with me. 143 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:38,629 Seriously, come fight me. 144 00:08:39,129 --> 00:08:40,119 Okay, not exactly. 145 00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:43,609 so we have a new thing that we're doing in Quirky, our private community, it's 146 00:08:43,609 --> 00:08:45,649 Quirky community for the antisocial. 147 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,929 and we have, this new thing called Daily Fights that we do during the week, 148 00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:51,799 and we post, like a question about, 149 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,769 It just, could be anything that people in general disagree upon. 150 00:08:55,989 --> 00:09:00,909 we started this very early on with, what the best pen is, it got heated. 151 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:02,769 It got heated. 152 00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:05,539 it's a Pilot V10, by the way. 153 00:09:05,839 --> 00:09:07,419 There's no other answer. 154 00:09:07,419 --> 00:09:08,559 It's a Pilot V10. 155 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:13,829 You can take your G2 and shove it somewhere, but it is a Pilot V10. 156 00:09:14,159 --> 00:09:15,429 don't bring me a V7. 157 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,449 those are insufficient. 158 00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:23,079 It's a Pilot V10, specifically in purple, though we will take 159 00:09:23,079 --> 00:09:24,889 it in any color we can get it. 160 00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:28,709 Anyway, this is what we fight about fairly regularly. 161 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:33,029 and so we have fights every day about, whether a hot dog 162 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:36,109 is a taco and similar things. 163 00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:37,899 Come hang out with us. 164 00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:39,339 It's free. 165 00:09:40,249 --> 00:09:41,109 It's silly. 166 00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:48,519 It's a bunch of weirdos who, want community but don't wanna ever talk to 167 00:09:48,519 --> 00:09:50,959 people, and that's kind of how we do. 168 00:09:51,029 --> 00:09:55,719 So come hang out with us and come fight me you can find us at alwaysquirky.com 169 00:09:56,219 --> 00:09:59,999 We have a small talk from Kristen in North Carolina. 170 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:01,049 " Hi, Lauren. 171 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:05,119 I'm a 38-year-old woman with ADHD, and I look fine. 172 00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:08,429 I have a job and an apartment, and I remember to water my 173 00:10:08,429 --> 00:10:09,859 plants most of the time. 174 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:13,859 From the outside, I am completely indistinguishable from a 175 00:10:13,859 --> 00:10:15,349 person who has it together. 176 00:10:15,379 --> 00:10:19,079 From the inside, I am running 40 browser tabs, three of which are 177 00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:23,089 on fire, and I haven't replied to a text from my sister in 11 days. 178 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:27,089 I guess I'm writing because I want someone to say out loud that looking fine 179 00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:29,159 and being fine are not the same thing. 180 00:10:29,669 --> 00:10:31,229 Are they allowed to be different?" 181 00:10:31,729 --> 00:10:35,409 Not only are they allowed to be different, the reality is that they are 182 00:10:35,409 --> 00:10:37,659 different, what does it mean to look fine? 183 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,139 What does it mean to look normal? 184 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:40,889 What is normal? 185 00:10:41,389 --> 00:10:43,279 nobody has it together. 186 00:10:44,089 --> 00:10:49,969 Nobody Listen, I work with doctors all day and I love working with doctors. 187 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:53,479 They're some of the smartest people on earth, and also they do some of 188 00:10:53,479 --> 00:10:55,339 the stupidest shit I have ever seen. 189 00:10:55,639 --> 00:11:00,519 I had a doctor once who I worked with text me because he could 190 00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:02,139 not get into his bank account. 191 00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:04,999 And I was like, What am I supposed to help you with? 192 00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:07,489 And he goes, I just changed my password and now it's not working. 193 00:11:07,489 --> 00:11:09,349 And I was like, you changed your password for your bank account? 194 00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:11,509 No, I changed my password for the EHR. 195 00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,599 That's a electronic health record. 196 00:11:14,099 --> 00:11:15,899 And I was like, how does that affect your bank account? 197 00:11:15,899 --> 00:11:17,729 And he was like, doesn't that change all my passwords? 198 00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:18,329 No. 199 00:11:18,569 --> 00:11:19,739 Why would you think that? 200 00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:20,519 No. 201 00:11:20,969 --> 00:11:22,259 Why no. 202 00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:27,689 You take scalpels and you cut people, and I justify it by saying 203 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:31,529 they have so much science in their brains that they don't have room 204 00:11:31,529 --> 00:11:33,509 for other stuff, and that's fine. 205 00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:36,959 We need them to have the science brains and they need people like me who do the 206 00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:40,979 other stuff because they're so science smart that they're everything else stupid. 207 00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:41,819 I get that. 208 00:11:41,989 --> 00:11:44,359 But I'm just saying he's a doctor. 209 00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,129 That person is a doctor. 210 00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:50,179 He went to school for like 20 something years to get letters 211 00:11:50,179 --> 00:11:55,249 behind his name that are supposed to mean that he is good at things. 212 00:11:55,509 --> 00:11:59,919 it is a very limited number of things that doctors are actually good at. 213 00:12:00,849 --> 00:12:05,919 And I say that as a person who fervently loves doctors, who loves working with 214 00:12:05,919 --> 00:12:08,799 them, and who will do it for the rest of her career because it's my thing. 215 00:12:09,474 --> 00:12:11,964 Nobody has it together. 216 00:12:12,744 --> 00:12:16,254 You might have it together in one area and not at all in 217 00:12:16,254 --> 00:12:18,594 another area, and that is normal. 218 00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:21,984 Not only that, nobody knows what they're doing. 219 00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:24,534 We're all just making shit up as we go. 220 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:27,744 There's no manual, there's no guidebook, there's no finish line, nothing. 221 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,404 just throw you out into this world of raw dog life as if 222 00:12:32,404 --> 00:12:33,964 there's any way to do it right. 223 00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:36,334 And then they make you feel like shit all the time. 224 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:39,814 If you're not perfect and you don't have a million dollars in your bank account 225 00:12:39,904 --> 00:12:42,864 from selling crypto, that's not realistic. 226 00:12:42,864 --> 00:12:43,974 That's not real life. 227 00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:51,569 So yes, you are allowed to be an outside presenting, an externally presenting. 228 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:55,554 put together individual and a hot mess on the inside. 229 00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:58,824 Not only are you allowed, it is encouraged 'cause it is reality. 230 00:12:59,394 --> 00:13:04,344 I actually have enough tabs open on my actual computer right now that 231 00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:06,414 even I was like, whew, this is a lot. 232 00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:07,634 This is too many. 233 00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,584 I need to close some of these tabs. 234 00:13:10,394 --> 00:13:13,784 It would not be unheard of for me to have a hundred tabs open. 235 00:13:13,814 --> 00:13:15,314 That's not an exaggeration. 236 00:13:15,584 --> 00:13:18,964 And even I was like, we should probably tamp down this number of tabs. 237 00:13:19,024 --> 00:13:22,504 That's the chaos of this timeline. 238 00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:23,364 do. 239 00:13:23,364 --> 00:13:26,934 You don't feel bad about any of it unless you're an actual asshole 240 00:13:26,934 --> 00:13:28,974 to somebody, then you should feel bad and you should apologize. 241 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:32,954 We are all just doing the best we can without a guidebook and certainly without 242 00:13:32,954 --> 00:13:35,474 a guidebook for like this exact timeline. 243 00:13:35,501 --> 00:13:39,464 nobody was like, Hey, you have to wake up every morning with the crushing 244 00:13:39,464 --> 00:13:41,984 reality of fascism pushing down on you. 245 00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:45,374 When we thought we eradicated that oh, 70 years ago. 246 00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:48,004 Smile, there's no rules. 247 00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:49,254 There's no rules. 248 00:13:49,754 --> 00:13:50,204 It's fun. 249 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,714 that's gonna be on my fucking tombstone. 250 00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:53,554 victim of her own success. 251 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:58,454 the other day, my kid asked if she could listen to something, and I said, 252 00:13:58,484 --> 00:14:04,444 "Okay, open iTunes and just type it in." And she looks at me and goes, "iTunes? 253 00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:07,054 Do you mean Apple Music?" 254 00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:12,294 And I was like, "Do you mean get out of my house, you little goblin?" Like, what? 255 00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:16,514 I felt like I was like, "Hold on. please let me go sit in the corner where 256 00:14:16,514 --> 00:14:22,594 I'm going to disintegrate because my bones are chalk." God, I felt so old.