[00:00:00] All right. All right. Welcome back. Selling Your Expertise. I'm your host, Renee Hribar. Today, you're diving into the other side of the story. I started on Monday. So let's say you followed the three C's. You reached out, you had the conversation. You led with an open heart and crickets. Dun dun dun. What? Now, let me tell you what I don't want you to do.

Don't panic, don't spiral into thinking I must not be good enough. Don't change everything overnight. Don't go in changing your website or your branding or anything. Yet. Instead, I want you to use these three reframe questions to stay in the game. And the game is in your head. It's connecting with people.

It's talking to people. The more people that you genuinely get to know, and again, I encourage between five and 10 a week. That's between 20 [00:01:00] and 40 a month. Let's say you just connect with five people a week. That's 20 a month by the end of the year. That's over two. 140 people on average that you'll have genuinely gotten to know.

How many clients do you need? These people, if they're not a client, they're a connector. They're a collaborator. Collaborators put you in front of their audience, right? Opa, other people's audiences, connectors bring people. Constantly, they could bring another hundred people tomorrow if they understood what you did and the problems that you solve, which is what we do when we share anchor content, right?

So. Here are your three reframe questions. Number one, what did I learn about this person? Did they open up? Did they share their goals? Did they share any challenges they're facing or a fear they have that's valuable? That's data. Document this I. Love documenting, and I [00:02:00] know that sounds so weird and crazy, but it's so easy nowadays.

Even back in the 19 hundreds when I had my sales agency that I, I mean, I had it for 15 years, so part of it was in the 19 hundreds and I would tell my sales reps to practice in their bathroom mirror. Well, now they have their phone. They would just, we didn't have iPhones back then. Now they could just.

Talk into your phone if you have any kind of transcription service. Maybe you use Otter or just voice notes on your iPhone Point is this Practice. Practice document. Document everything. So practice having those conversations with an open heart and ask yourself, what did I learn about this person? One thing I also do when I document is I put their name on a document.

One of my students in my course is like, I really like these recon sheets, and it's really just a Google doc that has the person's name on top. It has everything I learned about them. Maybe it's a perplexity search or a Google search or their YouTube channel. Spotify, wherever they [00:03:00] are. And I just document all that and then the next time I talk to them, I look at, I look at it before I talk to them.

So I look like I remember everything and I do, I mean, because I documented it, right? I'm not a super computer, so what did I learn about this person? That's valuable. That's data and it's all something we can use moving forward, even if the relationship stalls. Second reframe question. Did I show up with generosity and clarity?

So did I listen more than I talked? That is a hard one for me. Seriously, I got a podcast that goes out twice a week. I mean, the notes home to my parents. Growing up, if Renee would just stop sharing with her neighbors, she would do so much better academically. Now, granted, I still graduated cum laude. Okay, but.

I definitely ended up talking to my friends more than I did listening to my teachers. And when I got into sales, [00:04:00] that was a detriment. So if you are introverted and you hold that card and wave that flag proudly, I think you have a hidden superpower, and that is. If you prefer deep conversations over superficial, small talk, you have a superpower, a sales superpower, because listening more than you talk is the best thing you could ever do.

Did I clearly communicate what I do? That's another question I have to ask myself. A lot of times, my website, my title, my bio, all the different content I have out there, it's just gobbledygook until I can frame it so that that person understands it. And I can't do that clearly until I have context.

Around their situation. I can't meet them where they're at if I don't know. And a lot of us who are experts, when we're speaking to people that don't know us, it is a tendency of [00:05:00] ours to overexplain, to try to, uh, in essence make a presentation, right? Like, dun, here I am, here are all the things I know because we're trying to show them something.

And I'm saying, don't try just. Ask and listen, and you'll know when it's time to enter the conversation. And if, if you are not sure, then don't enter the conversation and wait until the conversation's over and then share something meaningful as a reflection of the conversation. There's nothing wrong with you listening for the 20 minutes you have on the call.

And 18 minutes go by, they've talked the whole time. Two minutes. Oh, you have to go. And then maybe you send a meaningful email later or. Wherever you communicate with them could be Messenger or dms or whatever the case may be. They're gonna like that. That's really nice. And you also can transcribe the conversations, right?

So it's again, internal use only. You're not gonna use it somewhere else. But the point is, is that [00:06:00] listening is the best thing. I, I remember I had a client. She was a dating coach, and she said the first date should be 40 minutes max, the first date. And everybody gave her pushback around it. And she's like, listen, when you get on that date, you want them to leave that date wanting more, and your most important thing you have to do is listen more than you talk, because then the person that you're.

On that date with, if you were to get, uh, you know, asked about it later, they would say, oh, that was a great first date, because they were able to talk. So did I show up with genuine? Generosity and clarity. That's question number two. If yes, that's a win question. I ask myself number three, the three reframe questions.

This is the third one. Could this person be a connector or a collaborator later? So don't close the door just because they didn't present the same problems that you know how to [00:07:00] solve. If I don't see someone or hear someone saying the things that I know that a person who buys from me. Says, right. So if they're not saying or talking or sharing about the problems you know how to solve, then there's no reason for you to make an offer.

It's, it's moot, right? It's like going out to a restaurant with a friend who just came from a big family dinner and you're like, you just wanted to go. Check out this new appetizer and they're like, yeah, I'll come with you. I'll just have a drink. And the friend just has a drink. You have the appetizer. You wanna share the appetizer, but they're just like, no, I'm not hungry.

That's okay. You don't have to shove it down their throat. Right. You don't. They don't have to have the appetizer to make sitting with them. There a lovely. You're gonna hang out again, right? but if you start to force feed 'em, they're gonna be like, I'm never going out with you again. 'cause that was weird.

So don't close the door just because they didn't give you any buying signals, or they didn't answer the questions that you asked in a way that helped you see, [00:08:00] oh, they have the problem I saw. Because it just means. If they don't have the problem you solve right now, chances are they will. Or they'll know someone who does, or they'll help people in their audience that do need it.

And again, client connector collaborator. So I've had people circle back to me because I don't make offers unless I see that they have. Said out loud the problems that I know how to solve. So, in other words, I've spent a lot of time qualifying. I've had people circle back after months, even years later, because I don't push, I, I don't wanna turn over objections, been there, done that.

It's the, it's for the birds. It, you are an expert selling for yourself. You're not just selling. You gotta sell and deliver. Like as a salesperson for another company, once you sign that paperwork or whatever, as soon as that ink is dry, I'm done. I pass it off to the account manager. They gotta deal with you now.

But in this case, you have to not only sell it, but then you're the one [00:09:00] delivering on the promise. You wanna make sure that that person is qualified and you're not just bringing people in because they have enough, you know, money. You want the right fit. So that is why I say this so wholeheartedly. Client connector, collaborator, this will change the game for you.

So when you're selling your expertise, the sale is often just the beginning of the relationship, right? Not the end. And here's the truth. When you stop treating sales like a win-lose game and start seeing every conversation as a connection, your business gets stronger, period. Done. Full stop. So here's your action step.

If a conversation didn't go the way you hoped journal on the three questions, you might be surprised how much you actually gained. Here's the three questions Again. Your three reframe questions are, number one, what did I learn about this person? Number two, did I show up with generosity and clarity?

Number [00:10:00] three, could this person be a connector or collaborator at one point? Want more tools like this? Mm-hmm. Wanna keep hearing about real women selling their expertise without pressure or gimmicks? Oh yeah, Renee. All right. Join my email list. The link is in the show notes. And remember, just because it didn't happen yet, doesn't mean it won't.

Your long game is strong. You're doing great. See you next week.