Welcome to another episode of ADHD Women's Wellbeing Wisdom.

Little short, bite sized pieces of wisdom that I've curated from all the many, many episodes that have been recorded over this time.

And I really hope that this short insight will help you on the week ahead.

And today we're doing things a little bit differently.

I wanted to share with you a 15 minute snow snippet from my tapping into your ADHD Gold workshop.

And the reason why I wanted to.

Do this is because I feel that.

Even in 15 minutes you're able to get a little bit of a powerful reboot, a reframe as to what has been holding you back.

Perhaps you've had a recent ADHD diagnosis and it's been able to offer you a new chapter in your life and you're ready to step into more authentic dreams and desires.

I have a huge passion for helping women step into those sort of entrepreneurial ideas that they've always had and perhaps never had the belief that they could do it.

And the workshop was two hours long and we really broke down lots of old beliefs and old stories to enable lots of women step into what they truly want and how they want to show up in life and how they.

Want to be of service.

So perhaps you are sick of talking about changing your life and not actually doing anything about it.

Or maybe you're in a constant state of overwhelm and don't know where to begin.

Perhaps you've been recently diagnosed with ADHD and know this could be the beginning of a new chapter of your life.

But stepping into your desires is really scary and especially when we're navigating a new understanding of our brain.

So I wanted to share this 15 minute snippet.

I really hope that it invites you and gives you permission to dream big and to think about different choices, that you have new ways of looking at what you're currently doing.

And I'm not asking you to hand your notice in change everything.

But what I am maybe inviting you to do is maybe come up with new ways of thinking how you're able to make those small shifts to create big effects.

So during today's episode I talk about unpacking the nervous system and fear and the feelings of fear in our body and be able to recognize them and spot them.

So I'm really looking forward to sharing this with you and I hope that you find it very helpful.

Here's the episode.

Working with the Fear in the Nervous System so our nervous system is the first thing to feel fear.

We sense it.

Anything with Regards to, you know, walking down a dark alleyway, and all of a sudden we start getting a bit nervous.

We're on our own, we're in a dark alleyway.

We know that, you know, no one can see us or hear us.

And it doesn't matter if you're in a physically in a dark alleyway or mentally in this dark alleyway, you are going to feel the physiological feelings of fear.

And everyone feels that again, differently.

So when you start thinking about wanting to step into what you desire, when you start thinking about it, what do you feel in your body?

Is it worry?

Is it rejection?

Is it being laughed at?

Is it being judged?

Is it being removed from your community, your friendship group, your family?

And then very often, and I do believe, I think this is quite prominent with adhd, is that we often block things because we fear success and we fear we don't trust ourselves to have success because our imposter syndrome can be really strong.

Or perhaps we have this root feeling of I'm not good enough, and that is literally what guides you.

I'm not good enough to do that.

I'm not organized.

I don't have enough attention to detail.

I change my mind all the time.

I'm not decisive enough.

I'm too impulsive.

This is.

I'm saying this for myself because I had this.

This was literally my, you know, what I talked about nonstop in my head, which is there.

So I block success.

Well, I can't do that because other people do that.

Look how organized they are.

They can do it all.

There's no way I'd be able to do that.

And then what else is going on with us is, well, they've got it, so I can't have it.

They're doing really well with that.

So that means that there's not enough space for me.

There's not enough room in the industry.

There's not enough.

There's just no way I can do that because someone else is doing it so well, so what's the point of me trying?

And this scarcity mentality has been around forever.

But if you think about competition, you know, my local high street, there's about five hairdressers, and then they open again.

Another hairdresser, and guess what?

Every single Saturday, they're full.

Every nail place that it opens is always full.

So that's just our brain just trying to keep us safe and trying to keep us small.

But actually, when we change it, we shift this scarcity mentality and we start thinking about abundance and we start thinking about being of service and who needs us.

And what am I stopping my holding back from giving an offering to the world?

It's a really powerful reframe because we can get into our own heads and we get into our ego and we start thinking, well, there's just no point.

And so.

And so is doing it so well, so what's the point of me doing it?

And then actually we think, well, our unique take is the way we do it.

So I can open up another hairdresser, but I'm going to be the hairdresser.

I'm going to be doing things differently, and I'm going to be talking to my customers differently and communicating and cutting hair differently.

And this is the way you have to see it, that you are holding yourself back from being of service to other people who need you.

When you get into your head and you start overthinking, going, what's the point?

I'm just not going to do it.

And this relates to so many things, so many different things in life that we don't try and we don't step into it.

We're holding ourselves back from meeting our soulmates, meeting a new community of people, offering help, volunteering, being creative.

Like, when we think that this world is only enough, there's only enough room for X, Y and Z.

But actually, the more we put passion and love and joy and creativity into the world, that has a ripple effect.

So there's enough anger, sadness, resentment, violence, bitterness, toxicity.

There is enough of that.

And there's always going to be, why can't we replace that with doing something, you know, from.

From passionate perspective?

Why can't we do that from a joyful perspective?

This was a really big one for me when I started reframing, because I kind of, you know, when I started, I thought, there's so many coaches out there.

There's so many people doing this, and there's so many people doing that and sending emails and doing workshops.

And then I realized, obviously, you know, as I was started to understand about ADHD and started working more in that space, I realized how many women just like me needed help.

You know, I needed that help.

And I had coaching, and I went through the whole coaching experience way before I was going to be a coach.

And I realized how helpful the different people were in my journey.

You know, it wasn't just one coach.

It was a person here and a person there and a spiritual guide and a EFT practitioner.

And between all these people, they guided me on this path.

But not once did I ever turn around and go well, there was too many of them.

There was too many.

And they shouldn't all be there.

They shouldn't all be stepping into their power.

I was just like, this is amazing.

All these empowered women doing things that they're passionate about, that they're good at and being abundant and running successful businesses.

Like, why do we think that we can't do what we love, wake up every morning joyful and happy and excited and energized and make money?

Like we've been told something in the hierarchy of this patriarchal society that if we do something that we love, we can't make money.

If we wake up every morning excited and passionate about our career or work, our life, it means that something's going to go wrong.

It means that, you know, we're being too greedy, we're asking for too much.

But actually it's a God given right to be happy.

And why shouldn't we be successful and abundant?

Why shouldn't we celebrate this?

And I just want you maybe to step into this, the shift of energy and see what that feels in your body when you start thinking, why shouldn't I do this?

Why shouldn't I be of service?

Why can't I wake up happy and energized and excited and be making money?

And this workshop, I guess is an opportunity for you guys to crack yourself open a little bit because it's very easy to walk around with this sort of exterior on us and to walk around with this kind of buffering and layers because we've protected ourselves for a long time.

We've had to protect ourselves.

First of all, maybe we've not understood what's been going on.

Maybe we've been told by other people that we're not good enough, that we've got to try harder, that that's not the way to do things, that our systems aren't correct, the way we do things is wrong.

That maybe we, we believe that we're a little bit broken because our brains just don't seem to line up to the way we've been told, you know, to do things.

And so I truly believe that when we have this opportunity of understanding the neurodivergence and understanding what it is, we have to crack ourselves open because it is a new opportunity.

And this fear voice is always going to be there.

We're always going to have this voice.

It's every day, every day.

But our job is to see it, recognize it, go, thank you.

And notice what you're doing.

You're trying to keep me safe.

Thank you for Being there and maybe showing me some of the pitfalls, show me perhaps what could go wrong.

But actually I'm going to make a choice to not listen.

I'm going to push forwards.

And the more we speak to it and allow it to have its say, it's not there.

Literally in shackles and chains.

And remember that when we grow, when we expand, when we develop, when we start getting curious and asking questions and reading and learning about new ways of being, the voice can get a little bit louder because it's getting scared, is getting scared.

It's like, oh, you know, she's going to take us out of our comfort zone.

We don't like being out of our comfort zone.

And what's she going to do now?

Like, this doesn't feel safe.

I don't know this territory.

And I, I genuinely spot it now and I see it like even before today, I was terrified to our workshop doing something like this.

You know, 30 people have signed up.

I was absolutely terrified.

But I realized that this was me stepping out of my comfort zone again.

Moving, growing, working in an area that I've not done before.

You know, publicly I work one to one with clients, helping them, sort of entrepreneurship and business and all that.

But to come out here and really kind of like do this for two hours, absolutely terrifying.

But I could either have been like, no, I'm not doing it, shut it all down, cancel it, or I've had to step into the fear and step into the discomfort.

And the biggest driver for me was if I can help, I hope all of you or some of you, if I can create a ripple effect, if I can help trigger an idea or a change of mind, or give you some self belief that you can do it, then that my job's done.

But I had to step into my com out of my comfort zone to do that.

Because for me, being of service and helping and guiding and empowering women is my passion.

So we can get lost in that cycle or we can choose not to.

And we just get curious and we get compassionate and we acknowledge the thoughts and we witness them and we notice them.

And then we just say we can literally go back, back to your heart, back to your stomach, and just say it's okay, you're safe right now, you're safe and I understand what's going on, but you are expanding and you're developing and this is what happens.

Because our brain is much happier when everything is in order and we've got control.

You know, it's the same reason why people are scared of Flying.

People are scared of flying because it's a lack of control.

That's very often what it is.

Yes, obviously, you know, we're in.

On.

In an airplane in the middle of the sky and, you know, that's a scary thing.

But essentially it's the lack of control.

So this is what I just want you to start thinking about.

Like when you're being ruffled a little bit, when the foundations are shaking and it's the lack of control, what is it?

Are you going to hand your notice in?

Are you going to change jobs?

Are you going to start business?

Are you going to move countries?

Are you going to start a new relationship, you're going to leave a relationship, whatever that is.

It's all very scary when you're in flux, when you don't know what's going on.

But it's up to us to make a choice, to trust and have faith that if we're being guided by something physically in our body and something keeps coming back to us, then we have to honor it.

A lot of people don't honor it.

You know how people that say to me, I wished I'd done this 20 years ago.

I wish I'd made that decision 20 years ago.

I look at these generations now and I wish I'd, you know, done X, Y and Z.

My grandma's one of them.

She just turned 93 and an amazing, incredible woman.

But she has so many regrets and she sees so many lost opportunities because of obligation, because of.

She was.

She did what was expected of her, what society expected of her, not what she wanted to do.

So failure is going to be part of this journey.

And I don't think there's one person here that won't be able to put the hand up and go, that felt like a failure.

Or I tried that and that felt like a failure.

But I really do believe, and I've heard this, this life's rejection is God's protection, that when things don't go right, it was always meant to be a failed business, a job that we had to leave, a failed relationship, something that we tried that didn't quite work.

It's always going to be a reason and there's going to be a learning from it.

And we never have.

We're never, ever going to fail anything without taking a learning.

So anything that you have believed that you failed at that hasn't worked for you.

This is going to be an opportunity for you to learn, to take what you've learned and to move forward.

So actually, again, we see failure as Something that is good for us because we need that.

Anyone that hasn't failed is going to fall really, really hard.

And I love what Marie Forleo, who's an amazing female entrepreneur, says, is that she says it's a faithful attempt in learning.

So we've got to recognize that a failure is not one big catastrophic event or it's not characteristic.

It's just part and parcel of a journey and we connect those dots and we look back and get curious.

So if this is something that's coming to mind right now, something that's coming to mind and you are thinking, that was a bloody failure, but I can't do that.

There's evidence I can't start another business.

There's evidence I can't, you know, go back to studying.

What did you learn from that situation?

What did you learn that is going to help you move forwards?

Because it's always going to be something.

I mean, I can list on two, two hands, things that I've done, which I looked at the time, that was a failure.

I can't believe it.

And I really struggled to pick myself up, you know, really did.

And every, you know, huge entrepreneur out there who is running incredible businesses always has a failed business behind them, has a failed venture, failed project, or they started the business thinking it was going to be one thing and then they, they changed it and then it's, you know, so this is where we get the resilience.

Keep trying, we get back up.

It's just part pass of it.

Building our resilience is one of the biggest parts in really growing because we're never going to grow without feeling like we failed in some respect.

So I hope you enjoyed listening to this shorter episode of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing podcast.

I've called it the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Wisdom, because I believe this so much wisdom in the guests that I have on and their insights.

So sometimes we just need that little bit of a reminder.

And I hope that has helped you today and look forward to seeing you back on the brand new episode on Thursday.

Have a good rest of your week.