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Janice Porter: Hello, everybody,
and welcome to this week's

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episode of relationships rule. I
am interviewing today a

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wonderful woman that I actually
interviewed in the first year of

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my podcast, which seems like
many, many moons ago, it because

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it is now it's over three years,
and I'm pretty excited about it.

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And it's always good to revisit
with people who have made

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changes grown in their
businesses as well as things

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that have happened for me. So my
guest today is MJ shells be

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welcome to the show, first of
all,

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Nj Shelby: thank you. It's great
to be here.

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Janice Porter: Thank you. And NJ
is a productivity powerhouse. As

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a wife and mother who once
worked in an intense corporate

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environment, and J experienced
firsthand the damaging effects

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of long hours and stress. She
developed an autoimmune disease

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and was forced to start working
smarter, not harder. Now she

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takes what she's learned and
helps other helps business

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owners and professionals gain
control of their time, eliminate

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distractions, and focus on what
really matters. So they can

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achieve a new level of success
while working fewer hours. And

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honestly, I need some of that,
I'll tell you, because

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sometimes, sometimes it's okay
to just say, enough is enough

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and walk away for the day. But
sometimes, things hang over your

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head, and it's like, Oh, my
goodness, I didn't get it all

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done today. And it's
frustrating. And being a

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solopreneur pretty much. That
happens a lot. And I'm sure you

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hear that kind of complaint
often. So first of all, let's

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back up and and come back to
that. But I want to know what

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happened to you. And how long
ago was this? And and what did

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that like? That changed a lot
for you?

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Nj Shelby: It did, because I was
a workaholic. I mean that I

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worked 24 hours straight,
literally no exaggeration. I was

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so caught up into you know, the
BS story of this is important.

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You know, I've got to do it. If
I don't do it, it won't get

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done. Right. You know, all that
kind of thing.

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Janice Porter: Were you climbing
the corporate ladder? Yes, I

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Nj Shelby: was climbing the
corporate ladder. And, you know,

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a couple of things happened. My,
my dad died, I got a note that

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my son left on the table. You
know, Mom, how come I barely

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ever see you anymore, you know,
and being and then being

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diagnosed with an autoimmune
disease, which when when I got

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the diagnosis, they thought it
was lung cancer. And through the

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weekend, you know, that's what I
was dealing with. And then I got

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the biopsy on Monday. And it was
like, the good news is you don't

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have cancer. The bad news is you
have an autoimmune disease. And

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so it really kind of woke me up
to what was really important in

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life. And I can see now that I
didn't have too much to do,

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right, I could have gotten it
all done in less hours, I had a

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focus problem. I wasn't I wasn't
honoring my biology, you know, I

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wasn't sleeping wasn't eating
right. Well, you know, wasn't

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doing those things. I wasn't
honoring the biology of how the

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brain works, right? We are
hardwired for distraction. If

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you imagine 1000s of years ago,
you're collecting berries to

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feed the family and you hear a
rustling off in the bushes,

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right, your alert system is
going to go on guard because

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it's probably something that's
going to eat you. And so you had

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to just be distracted by things
like that. And so we still have

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the same hard wiring. And today,
it's you know, some software

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company trying to get you to
look at their screen, so that

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they can make more money. But
our biological systems don't

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know the difference. And so, you
know, we have to put in place

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those kinds of things. And I
didn't realize that back at the

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time, you know, back in the day.
And so the result was I was

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working way too many hours and
just burnt myself out to the

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point that I got the autoimmune
disease,

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Janice Porter: and a son who was
crying for help and needed

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Exactly, yeah. And thanks for
sharing that. I I think though,

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that if that had happened today,
do you think that you might have

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had maybe more of a nervous
breakdown around it too or

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something because there's so
much today so much information

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overload that back then, you
know, you I don't think it was

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as I mean, it was definitely bad
because it got you ill but you

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know what I'm saying right
there. Right.

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Nj Shelby: Well Well, it's
interesting you say that because

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one of the things that I didn't
mention that, you know, one of

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the triggering points is, I was
driving to my doctor's office

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for some appointment. And I had
been there, like six or seven

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times, and I couldn't remember
how to get there. Now, this

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isn't like, Oh, give me like a
minute to figure it out. This is

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10 or 15 minutes later, I still
couldn't remember I had to call

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my coworker who I carpooled with
some times, and ask him how to

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get there. And my doctor was
very alarmed when I told him

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what happened. And just with
this, you know, and he was like,

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one of these jolly, you know,
good, you know, doctors who were

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always smiling and laughing, and
he had this just look on his

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face of just total seriousness,
and he said, You have to

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immediately decrease your stress
level. And so I hate to think

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what today that would be like,
exactly,

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Janice Porter: yeah, oh, my
goodness. Well, one of the

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things that will so now go fast
forwarding to today, and what I

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just said about, you know, just
feeling at the end of the day,

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that it's never going to end, I
just have always got more and

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more things to do. What What's
your comment to me around that?

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Nj Shelby: Yeah. So see, a lot
of that, though, is an illusion.

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Yeah. And all these companies
are, have gotten so good at

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persuasive marketing, like, back
in the day, you had a couple of

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companies who were good at that,
and you get these, you know,

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letters in the mail, that you
would open up and be like, Whoa,

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and they'd suck you in? Yes,
companies didn't know how to do

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that kind of marketing today,
you know, millions and millions

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of companies do and they end up
in your inbox. And so they're

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convincing you that you have to
do all of the things. And it's a

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lie. Like, we were talking
before you hit record, you know,

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as solopreneurs, there's all of
these things that you can do to

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market your business. There's,
you know, LinkedIn, and Facebook

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and Instagram and YouTube and
podcasts and, you know, right,

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exactly. And every person who
sells how to do that, they're

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sending you emails, convincing
you that business can't grow

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without without that. And the
reality is, you don't, you only

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need to do one consistently. And
then once you master that you

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have the bandwidth, and it's all
systematized, you can add

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another one. But we get sucked
into believing that we have to

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do it all.

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Janice Porter: It's true. It's
really true. And it's funny,

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because when I'm training my
clients around LinkedIn,

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sometimes on a first
conversation, I'll hear them

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say, Well, I gotta get all my
all my social media organized, I

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got to do my LinkedIn, and my
Facebook and my Instagram, like,

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Wait, stop, I do. What do you do
now? None of it will pick one.

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Let's start there, right? Even
if it's not LinkedIn, I don't

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care you do, what feels right,
and where your audience is,

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right? Because we I know it, I'm
good when I'm telling other

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people, but I get caught in that
trap, as well. And it's. So that

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brings me to actually so slowing
down in different ways and

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accepting what maybe, I have
decided is important for me.

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It's, I don't feel it's about
convincing other people. It's

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about finding people who are
like minded, and like that, that

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platform or that's where their
audience is, and so I can help

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them. But one of the things that
in my notes here from you,

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actually, is a comment about
talk, let's talk about how even

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when, you know, it's essential
to put in time to build

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relationships. It's difficult to
find that time. So one of my

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things on LinkedIn is, I feel
that that tool is underutilized

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in terms of creating and
building relationships, because

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it's a goldmine. And I have said
time and time again on my

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podcast. Here's a guest, guess
what? I met them on LinkedIn.

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Here's another guest, guess
what? I met them on LinkedIn.

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And so for me, I'm doing what
very few people are doing is

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building those relationships. So
that's what I like to do.

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Therefore, I find time to do it.
Yes,

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Nj Shelby: yes, exactly. And I
think that today, we have all of

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these things, fracturing our
attention and focus Right, yeah,

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you know, there's so many things
that you could be spending your

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time and so many things that are
distracting you. And so what

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happens is, your brain starts
spinning, right? And going from,

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you know, you go to work on one
thing and you're like, oh, you

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know, I almost forgot I have to
do this. And oh, I have to

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remote reply to that email. I'm
guilty of that, right. And when

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you're in that state of mind,
unless you are like you and an

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expert at using it, your brain
is going to shut down, your

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brain can't like, oh, let's do
something new that we don't know

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what to do. It's just going to
keep saying, Okay, we're going

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to do that later. We're going to
do that later. Because it's

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looking for what is urgent, and
you know, the crisis to solve,

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but it's deluding you as to what
is really urgent and important.

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And so it'll be responding to a
test a text message that you

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don't need to respond to or
something. And so really, the

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first step is to get your mind
to settle down and stop

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spinning. And to do that, you
have to get out of your head,

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all of the things that you have
to do. And a lot of the mistake,

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the mistake that I see a lot of
people make is they just make

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one long list. And that's a
great starting point. But that's

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overwhelming, like, and you can
start with a mind dump. But if

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you leave it there, you're more
overwhelmed, because you have

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this long list. Okay, so, you
know, then you have to go

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through it. And you know, what
can I what is really not

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important that I can cross off,
somebody tried to convince me,

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here's what I need to do, you
know, I have to work on

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Instagram, no, no, I've
committed, I'm only going to

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work one one platform at a time
LinkedIn it is so I can cross

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off the Instagram for right now.
And then look at you know, what

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can wait until, you know, next
month, what can wait till next

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week, and then take those things
off of that, you know, kind of

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like I normally like indicate,
like, you know, M for next

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month, you know, W for next
week, until you really get down

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to this limited number that Oh,
my God, these are urgent have to

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be done today, take another
sheet of paper, and then just

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today and just write those
things down. So they got those

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other things out of mind. And
when you do that, then your

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brain can kind of settle down,
and it's not spinning

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constantly, because it doesn't
know where to start what to work

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on. Because your brain doesn't
know timewise it can't tell the

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difference between, you know, an
urgent thing that needs to be

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done today. And an important
thing that needs to be done in a

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week, and just smashes it all
together and tries to do them

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all now.

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Janice Porter: Yeah, I was
having this conversation

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yesterday with a friend of mine
who does some tech back and

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stuff for me. And I was saying
that even with, you know, just

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looking at the three parts of my
business, when it comes to just

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my podcast, I listed all these
things that have to be done

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every week. And I don't want to
be doing them. But they're

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taking up time that I am doing
them. So, but But I I have this

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push me pull you thing around.
If I don't do them? I'm not.

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Maybe it's not having not found
the right person. I don't know.

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But I don't feel the trust of
having someone else do these

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things. To my level of
satisfaction. Right?

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Nj Shelby: Right. And that's a
common thing, I think that we go

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through is that we, you know,
we're afraid that people are

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going to make us look bad. And I
used to have that. Now, it's so

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funny that, you know, I won't
eat sometimes. You know, I've

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had like my husband who is
amazing with word sometimes he's

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written emails for me, I don't
even read them. I'm just like,

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Okay, send it out. Like if I
like, I just have to let it go.

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Like I just don't even worry
about that stuff anymore.

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Janice Porter: But you have to
train yourself to do that. I

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Nj Shelby: did. I actually it's
this kind of weird little thing

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that we store emotions in our
body. And that, you know, the

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way that we're made is that you
know the neurons fire they

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release neuro peptides and were
made to feel it and just feel it

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fully and let it go right. When
we're young things happen to us

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that are very, you know,
traumatic, you know, someone on

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the playground bullying you or
you know your sibling laughing

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and you whatever it is right
that but for us as kids, it's

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traumatic and we don't feel the
emotions fully. We are just kind

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of push them down. And what it
does is it kind of creates this

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connection chip from the neuron
firing to the neuro peptides

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being released. And so
unconsciously, we don't even

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realize it, we have these
feelings that kind of come up.

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And then our unconscious mind is
like, Oh, I don't want to feel

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that. So therefore, I'm going to
change behavior in order to

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avoid that. So let's say
something happened, when you

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were in, you know, third grade,
and you stood up to do a

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presentation in class, and
somebody made a joke, and

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everybody laughed, right? You
don't want to look stupid. So

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therefore, when you think about
outsourcing and having someone

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else do something,
unconsciously, you're not even

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aware. It triggers, you know,
the neurons fire these neuro

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peptides are released. And
there's a subtle feeling in the

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body, that your unconscious mind
is like, Yep, let's divert her

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attention away from that. So
basically, I, you know, had to

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go through and release all of
that, so that there wasn't that

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connection. You know, it's kind
of like Pavlov's dog. Right?

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Yeah. Where, you know, by
flooding the neurons so that it,

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it breaks that connection, and
then it's just gone. So did you

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do that yourself?

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Janice Porter: Yeah. Oh, wow.
Okay, so that takes some

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dedication and work to, to do
that, for

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Nj Shelby: sure. I love personal
development work. I love to

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grow. So it's kind of for me,
that's my fun. My husband makes

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fun of me. You know, to him.
It's like pulling teeth. Yeah.

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Janice Porter: Like, yeah, we
have the same the same issue

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there. So I saw something that
you had responded to, or someone

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was talking about? What were
they talking about? Just a

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second. They were talking about?
Oh, about unsubscribing to

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different emails. And and you
said it's easy to hit delete,

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without realizing all those
emails, eat away at your

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decision bandwidth. This is me,
okay. Like, if you knew how many

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emails were in my inbox, he
would die. By midday, many

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people are in decision fatigue
and end up putting off important

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decisions. When we unsubscribe,
we're blocking out future

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decisions from eating away our
focus and our ability to make

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decisions. That was your
comment, and I love that. But

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excuse me, it takes time to go
and do all that. unsubscribing

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actually,

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Nj Shelby: it doesn't. Okay,
talk to me, there is a program

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on Maelstrom m a i l s t r o m.
And I can't. It's some nominal

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fee. You know, it used to be,
you know, like, 499, I think it

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might be up to 899 a month, but
you don't need more than one

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month, right. And what it does
is it loads your inbox, and you

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can like bulk unsubscribe. And
I've had clients who've had like

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4000 emails in their inbox and
clear them out, including

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unsubscribing in and our

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Janice Porter: about 37,000.
Okay,

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Nj Shelby: so you know, but
think about it, if you've got

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1000 emails from a person, it
doesn't take any longer to

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unsubscribe and delete using
Maelstrom benefits 100 from that

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person. So, you know, so it's
just a matter of how long

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you've, you know, it's not like
you've got 10 emails from, you

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know, 3700 people, you got, you
know, probably 50 Different

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people who are sending you
hundreds of emails.

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Janice Porter: I know. It's
unbelievable. Anyway, so. So

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more and more today, people
aren't able to focus, right, we

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say that we have to grab
someone's attention in the first

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few seconds, or it's never going
to happen, right? It's even less

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than seven seconds anymore.
Right? So. So what's your advice

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to people? Do we worry about
that when we're marketing? Or do

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we just do what makes us feel
more Zim?

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Nj Shelby: I feel like it's a
combination. I don't feel like

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you need to use a marketing
strategy that's in alignment

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with you. If you like doing
video, do video if you like

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writing, do writing. You have to
do what's in alignment. And I

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think we have to not be boring.
You know, like we have to be

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kind of strategic about what
we're saying and make sure that

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we're taking our point of view
so that it's about us that we're

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not just, you know, putting out
more and more content that's the

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same as what everybody else also
saying, but we need a unique

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point of view that we're putting
out there. You know, and we need

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to be a little bit strategic
about putting it out in a way

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that might capture people's
attention, but don't waste their

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time saying stuff that they
already know. Okay, so that's a

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00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:21,480
really interesting point.
Because for me, and this is

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where I'm trying to develop
better right now is

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Janice Porter: it's about it's
about telling stories, from your

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perspective, so people get a
glimpse of you, as well as it's

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more interesting. You know, they
say they want facts, tell

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stories, sell facts, tell
stories, sell,

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Nj Shelby: or hard wired for
stories, right? Yeah.

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Janice Porter: And and so in
doing that in a better way, in

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telling a story about an
experience that you've had

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around whatever it is that
you're talking about, you're

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building relationship with
people without realizing it,

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right? Yes,

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Nj Shelby: yes. And people read
those. It's funny. We're all so

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busy, we don't have time to read
things. But when someone is

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telling a story, you slow down
your scroll, and you actually

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don't read it. So yeah,

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Janice Porter: I've noticed that
in like my newsletter, when I do

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my introduction, and, you know,
I had, well, I was forced to

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slow down because I sprained my
ankle two weeks ago tomorrow.

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And, and I said this in my
newsletter, and it was amazing

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how many people reached out and
said, oh, sorry, speedy

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recovery, do your exercises, all
that stuff. So then your your,

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and they were people I didn't
expect. Right, right. So that's

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when you think, Oh, I do have
people out there that are

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reading my newsletter. Thank
you, you know, appreciate that.

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And those are relationships that
they're going on that are

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building without you realizing
it. Yes, yeah, I like that. I

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like that a lot. You say that.
It's so much easier now to reach

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people and to start new
connections and relationships,

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but if not managed, it can steal
our time. And leave us

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disconnected. Tell me what you
mean by that?

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Nj Shelby: Well, I think that
social media, it's so easy to

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spend time during the scroll,
you know, and not really

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connecting, zoning out. And so
it's easier to connect to people

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like I have a friend in Florida,
who I graduated high school

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with. And the only way we
connect is, you know, stay in

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touch is through social media.
But yet, when my husband and I

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go to Florida to visit his
parents, I drive an hour, and we

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go spend a couple of hours and I
visit with her. But if I didn't

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have social media as a as a way
to stay connected, I wouldn't. I

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would never, you know, have that
are awkward, right? It would be,

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I just, I wouldn't reach out to
her I wouldn't, you know, and so

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I feel like it gives us an
opportunity. And it gives us a

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way in I mean, you hear all
these stories of people who have

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been able to connect with, you
know, CEOs or you know, somebody

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through responding to a post
that they made on LinkedIn or

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something I saw on LinkedIn that
Richard Branson had posted

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something about dyslexia, and
somebody commented, and he

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commented back, like, how many
people could say that they had a

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correspondence with Richard
Branson. So social media gives

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us all these opportunities, but
you have to be on guard and put

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it into you have to have rules.
And you know, kind of like,

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remember when you were learning
to bowl as a kid and they put

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the little gutters, things, the
guards in the gutters to keep

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you from the gutter balls, like,
we need guardrails in place like

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that. Otherwise, it can totally
steal your attention. And have

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you disconnected and you're just
you're just in that zombie mode

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where you're just scrolling and
not really connecting.

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Janice Porter: Yeah, and and
today, I suppose that's what

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keeps people going 24/7 as well,
you know? Yeah, it's, it can be

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it can be educational, and it
can be really interesting, but

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it can also suck your time like
you cannot yeah, there's it's

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impossible

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Nj Shelby: to keep up. I mean,
you and I are about the same

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age. You remember, you know back
when you know when you and I or

356
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joining the workforce, business
owners executives. They had, you

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00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,520
know, a telephone, they had a
day planner, and they had a

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00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,540
secretary who open their mail
and then put stuff in their

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00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:18,990
inbox. Yeah, really the
important stuff. And you

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contrast that to today, where
nobody's opening your mail. And

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00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:31,110
and you have these, this gateway
of all of this stuff to come at

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you. Yeah. And there's just
absolutely no way to have enough

363
00:25:35,310 --> 00:25:37,890
time to do it all. So we have to
know like, what are our

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00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:43,770
priorities and say, okay,
LinkedIn is the marketing, you

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00:25:43,770 --> 00:25:47,280
know, method that I'm going to
use for the next year. And

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that's it. And either
unsubscribe or automatically

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filter anything that is these
other things away, so that

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00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:58,800
you're not even having it come
into your awareness?

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Janice Porter: Yeah, so that's
hard to do for people who are

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00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:05,700
curious people like me, right?
See,

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Nj Shelby: that's just it. Yeah,
you are curious. And because

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you're curious, and the fact
that these people are so good at

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grabbing your attention, if it
hits your inbox, you're gonna

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want to read it. Yeah. And the
reality is, you don't have the

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time to read it all. So you will
either let who's the best person

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00:26:25,890 --> 00:26:29,370
at making headlines or writing
headlines for their email to get

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your attention? Or you let it be
what's important to you to get

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your attention? You have to
decide?

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Janice Porter: Yes. And then, as
I also mentioned, before we went

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on air, I had, between a two
hours between my interview this

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morning and this interview, oh,
I had one more call before this

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one that I was going to run out,
actually, and get some Christmas

383
00:26:54,510 --> 00:26:58,380
stuff I still had to get. But my
daughter texted me and said,

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What are you busy? Do you need
help? Or, you know, whatever. I

385
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:08,100
said, I'm actually available
between 11. And one, because I

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00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:11,250
gave up that time if she needed
me. And sure enough, off, you

387
00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:14,010
know, my granddaughter stayed
with me for an hour and a half

388
00:27:14,010 --> 00:27:17,070
while she went to do what she
needed to do. And then they left

389
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:21,060
because she respected that my
time was needed elsewhere. But I

390
00:27:21,060 --> 00:27:24,180
did drop everything. Yeah,
because that was

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Nj Shelby: more important.
Exactly. And see, here's the

392
00:27:27,330 --> 00:27:33,120
thing. Not everybody can even do
that. No, I was just gonna say

393
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that. Yeah, but the more clarity
we have, and the more order that

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we have, that we can do that,
you know, like, I had to do a

395
00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:48,750
call this morning, with my
husband's cardiologist a virtual

396
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:52,440
call that I mean, I didn't know
until yesterday that it was

397
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,730
going to be and it was easy to
just put that in there. You

398
00:27:56,730 --> 00:28:02,940
know, because I have enough
control and enough, you know,

399
00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:08,340
knowledge of what's important
and waiting out and, and knowing

400
00:28:08,340 --> 00:28:11,700
like, I mean, my brain gets
overwhelmed just like everybody

401
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:18,060
else is, but I know, it's not
reality. It's not that I have

402
00:28:18,060 --> 00:28:25,680
too much to do. It's that my
brain is not was not built for

403
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:30,120
modern society. And so I just
have to go through these steps

404
00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:34,740
to calm it down and get things
into perspective. Plug, my focus

405
00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:39,450
leaks up. And then everything
settles down, and I can focus.

406
00:28:39,750 --> 00:28:44,700
Well, sometimes I feel that by
doing what I did earlier today,

407
00:28:44,820 --> 00:28:47,760
I'm going to suffer for it
later. Because I have to get

408
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,630
that piece done that I didn't
get done. Right. But yeah, it is

409
00:28:51,630 --> 00:28:53,460
what it is. So how do you, you
know?

410
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,390
Janice Porter: So how do you
manage it all? Just how to Yes.

411
00:28:57,450 --> 00:28:57,630
And

412
00:28:57,630 --> 00:29:01,350
Nj Shelby: here's the thing,
it's not about managing it. All

413
00:29:01,380 --> 00:29:04,590
right, you're never going to get
it all done. But one of the

414
00:29:04,590 --> 00:29:11,730
things, the secrets that I think
is critical is knowing what is

415
00:29:11,730 --> 00:29:16,560
most important as at the end of
your day, you need to be very

416
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,940
clear on what is the most
important things that you have

417
00:29:20,940 --> 00:29:25,170
to do tomorrow, and then have
focused time in the morning,

418
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,770
that that's what you get done.
First thing in the morning

419
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,010
before you get on your computer
before you look at your phone

420
00:29:32,010 --> 00:29:36,600
before you do anything. You put
time into that critical time.

421
00:29:36,660 --> 00:29:40,050
And then no matter what happens
in your day, you're golden,

422
00:29:40,410 --> 00:29:42,360
because you got those critical
things done.

423
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Janice Porter: And they and
you're referring that they might

424
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:47,220
be work related or they might
not be

425
00:29:48,090 --> 00:29:51,480
Nj Shelby: right. Yeah, okay.
Okay. Yeah, that's great. It's

426
00:29:51,510 --> 00:29:57,030
you know, and I generally have
clients have buckets of time of,

427
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,330
you know, focus time in the
morning. That's like your Deep

428
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:05,580
Work. And then in the afternoon,
it's, you know, more one client

429
00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:09,660
likes to call them quick tasks,
right? That it's not things that

430
00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:14,700
require, like that deep focus.
And then you have those a bucket

431
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:19,020
of time in the afternoon, where
your mind isn't as fresh and

432
00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:21,780
they don't take as long don't
require the same amount of

433
00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:25,380
focus, so that when you get
interrupted, it doesn't really

434
00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:29,250
derail something. But if you're
working on something that

435
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:33,480
requires deep focus, and you're
interrupted, Oh, forget it kind

436
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:37,320
of wasted that time. Yes, I
agree, pulls you out. And then

437
00:30:37,350 --> 00:30:40,860
you know, it takes you 15
minutes to get back in it. You

438
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:42,120
were quoting earlier?

439
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,210
Janice Porter: What I recall to
be Stephen Covey's seven habits

440
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:52,440
that the grid that he uses about
important and urgent and

441
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,880
important and all of that, do
you do? Is that part of what you

442
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,530
do and how you teach?

443
00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:02,820
Nj Shelby: Yeah, I, I mean, I
followed Stephen Covey back in

444
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:06,120
the day, and it's also referred
to as the Eisenhower matrix,

445
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,080
some people right, you're right.
Yeah, that way. I've never heard

446
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,180
that. But until Yeah, I think
he, I think he took took that

447
00:31:15,180 --> 00:31:20,970
and then just, you know, for his
business on it. But I, I don't

448
00:31:20,970 --> 00:31:30,390
actually do it that way anymore.
Because I find that it's about,

449
00:31:30,420 --> 00:31:36,570
you know, understanding what is
important to me, right? And, and

450
00:31:36,570 --> 00:31:41,310
then from there, minimizing the
number of active projects that

451
00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:47,550
I'm working on. And, and so that
means putting stuff on the

452
00:31:47,550 --> 00:31:50,850
backburner and snowing like
these are coming up, because

453
00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:54,540
what we tend to do is spread
ourselves really thin. And we do

454
00:31:54,540 --> 00:31:56,400
a little bit of this, a little
bit of this, a little bit of

455
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,640
this a little bit of but nothing
can get done, because we're

456
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,750
spreading our time and focus out
amongst so many different

457
00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:06,600
projects. And then we're
overwhelmed, because we've got

458
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,180
too many things that we're
trying to juggle all at once.

459
00:32:09,390 --> 00:32:13,800
Yeah, sure, I found that if
instead, instead of doing

460
00:32:13,830 --> 00:32:16,440
things, you know, all at the
same time trying to get things

461
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,280
done, if instead, you limit it
to like four to seven, depending

462
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,430
upon the complexity, and that
includes work in personal Yeah,

463
00:32:23,460 --> 00:32:27,420
right, all at one time, and then
you wait until you get something

464
00:32:27,420 --> 00:32:30,600
done. And then you can move
something over, or maybe

465
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,930
something in your active
project, it's in a waiting

466
00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:37,470
period. So then you can move it
off, like you submitted a

467
00:32:37,860 --> 00:32:42,300
proposal for or for a job, and
you're waiting to hear back. So

468
00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:47,010
now that can go into the waiting
bucket. But doing that it tends

469
00:32:47,010 --> 00:32:50,820
to settle things down. So in the
mornings, it's usually focused

470
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:54,600
on those projects, and then all
the like, the little

471
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,480
administrative things and that
kind of thing. That's more in

472
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,350
the afternoon.

473
00:33:00,090 --> 00:33:04,080
Janice Porter: So let's in
wrapping up, let's talk about

474
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:09,540
just give me three top things,
then that one should be aware of

475
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:13,980
to be able to focus more, and
get rid of those focus leaks.

476
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:21,960
Nj Shelby: Doing the stop your
head from spinning, I think that

477
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:29,910
is step one. Step two, doing
your morning routine such that

478
00:33:29,910 --> 00:33:36,270
you have focused time in the
morning. And I think that having

479
00:33:36,450 --> 00:33:42,450
routines, as opposed to just all
of these tasks that you can, it

480
00:33:42,450 --> 00:33:46,080
can be so overwhelming to think
of, you know, a million tasks

481
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,400
when some of them can be kind of
rolled up into a routine that's

482
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:56,700
scheduled for once a week. And I
think another thing is we lose a

483
00:33:56,700 --> 00:34:00,780
lot of time spinning because
we're procrastinating because

484
00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:05,250
we're not exactly sure what to
do. Like we might have an item

485
00:34:05,250 --> 00:34:08,130
on our list to you know, connect
with Lisa, what what does that

486
00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:12,030
mean? You know, that's not
actionable, but instead

487
00:34:12,330 --> 00:34:16,170
something like you know, send a
LinkedIn message to Lisa or, you

488
00:34:16,170 --> 00:34:21,030
know, send a card to Lisa or
something. Yeah, but having it

489
00:34:21,030 --> 00:34:23,820
be you know, a verb that is
something that you're going to

490
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:25,350
do that's very clear.

491
00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:26,849
Janice Porter: And do you make
lists?

492
00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:32,940
Nj Shelby: I do. I do make
lists. I have to I have an idea

493
00:34:32,940 --> 00:34:37,650
generator. People who have
worked closely with me, then

494
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:41,700
they laugh and make fun of me
because I mean, it's an idea

495
00:34:41,700 --> 00:34:46,860
minute, and so I have to get
them out of my head. And so that

496
00:34:46,860 --> 00:34:50,010
I'm not thinking about them, but
the reality is there's not

497
00:34:50,010 --> 00:34:53,190
enough time or people to get
them all done. And so then I

498
00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:57,150
have to really be ruthless and
going through them. And okay,

499
00:34:57,150 --> 00:35:02,100
this just isn't realistic. This
isn't on brand this, you know,

500
00:35:02,310 --> 00:35:08,340
and just get rid of them. So and
then I do I, I have a pad that I

501
00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:12,690
have that has a list down the
right hand side, and then it's

502
00:35:12,690 --> 00:35:16,890
like a grid paper for notes
during the day. And so I'll take

503
00:35:16,890 --> 00:35:20,100
from my lists, and then say,
Okay, here's what I need to get

504
00:35:20,100 --> 00:35:23,580
done today, um, handwrite it
out. And then I've got a place

505
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,250
to write notes during the day.
Awesome.

506
00:35:26,370 --> 00:35:28,560
Janice Porter: I'm at the point
at the end of this year now

507
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,220
where I have to re organize my
office again, because that will

508
00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:36,450
make me feel like I can have a
fresh start in the year. I know,

509
00:35:36,630 --> 00:35:40,380
it's just one of those things.
This is delightful. I could ask

510
00:35:40,380 --> 00:35:44,190
you a million questions. How can
people find you? And what are

511
00:35:44,190 --> 00:35:47,160
you working on that? They might
be that my audience might be

512
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:52,260
interested in people like me,
right? So you do this? Is it a

513
00:35:52,260 --> 00:35:55,110
morning webinar? What is it that
I

514
00:35:55,110 --> 00:36:00,180
Nj Shelby: saw? Yeah, so I've
got a workshop coming up two

515
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:05,190
dates in in January, I'm not
sure when this will air, but

516
00:36:05,190 --> 00:36:09,990
there's one January 5, and one
January 19, that are all about

517
00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:15,210
getting your setting your
morning up to be able to focus.

518
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:22,350
And so we'll be dealing with the
being able to not look at your

519
00:36:22,350 --> 00:36:24,780
phone first thing in the
morning. So we'll do some of

520
00:36:24,780 --> 00:36:28,650
that processing those stored
emotions that we talked about,

521
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,070
to make it easy to ignore your
phone in the morning. And so all

522
00:36:32,070 --> 00:36:36,390
the things so it's, it's an all
day workshop, but it's not. It's

523
00:36:36,390 --> 00:36:39,060
like we'll take breaks for you
to work and get done what's

524
00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:42,690
critical, so that you feel like
at the end of the day, you've

525
00:36:42,690 --> 00:36:47,970
had your most productive day
other ever. So my website is and

526
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:52,350
j shows b.com. And there's
something on the homepage to

527
00:36:52,350 --> 00:36:57,660
link to that. And also, when I
was talking about the first step

528
00:36:57,660 --> 00:37:01,200
of being able to focus is to get
your head to stop spinning. If

529
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:05,970
you go to n j shells
b.com/overwhelm There is a video

530
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,240
that will step you through a
process to be able to get your

531
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:09,780
brain to

532
00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:15,750
Janice Porter: focus. Yes. Okay,
so if this doesn't Aaron time,

533
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:20,460
remind me send me something and
I'll post on LinkedIn about your

534
00:37:20,460 --> 00:37:23,400
workshop because it sounds like
something I should probably do.

535
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,290
And I love the idea. So thank
you so much for being here

536
00:37:28,290 --> 00:37:32,070
today. I think we overstayed our
welcome. I seem to be doing that

537
00:37:32,070 --> 00:37:36,210
a lot lately. fascinated with my
guests, but it's my show. So

538
00:37:36,210 --> 00:37:39,150
there you go. I just hope that I
have people listened. So there

539
00:37:39,150 --> 00:37:43,290
you go. Thank you again for
being here and for your

540
00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:47,940
brilliance because it does make
people think like me think about

541
00:37:47,970 --> 00:37:50,970
what's important and what isn't.
Well, thank

542
00:37:50,970 --> 00:37:53,820
Nj Shelby: you for having me. As
always, it's a pleasure talking

543
00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:55,590
with you. You're very welcome.

544
00:37:55,619 --> 00:37:57,719
Janice Porter: And remember,
thank you for listening to my

545
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,049
audience and remember to stay
connected and be remembered