Disney vacations.
Speaker AAll inclusive resorts, cruises and family trips to Idaho.
Speaker ATravel to your favorite place and have a celebration.
Speaker ASandpiper Vacations.
Speaker ABroadcasting from the Sandpiper Vacation Studio.
Speaker AWelcome to Parents Night out with no New Friends.
Speaker AThe comedy break every parent deserves.
Speaker AThis is the podcast where parenting meets pure unfiltered fun.
Speaker AReal raw hilarity.
Speaker AIt's your night out without the kids, where nothing is off limits.
Speaker AAnd we say what everybody else is thinking.
Speaker AWhether you're a parent or just need a good laugh.
Speaker AWe've got the adult humor you crave.
Speaker ASo kick back, relax and get ready to let loose with us.
Speaker AThis is Parents Night out with no New Friends.
Speaker ATuck your kids into bed, pay the babysitter a little bit extra.
Speaker AIt's time for Parents Night out with no New Friends.
Speaker AThere are so many great ways to connect with us.
Speaker AJust check out our website, no New Friends podcast dot com.
Speaker AWhile you're there, check out our sweet merchandise, join our clubhouse and become a friend with benefits.
Speaker AThat's our Patreon.
Speaker AAnd for as low as $2 a month, you can have access to all sorts of exclusive content.
Speaker ACutting room floor, early release and be eligible for any type of contest that we run right now.
Speaker AWe are streaming live on YouTube every Monday night at about 8pm Eastern Standard Time.
Speaker AAlso, we go live from theme parks every once in a while on the tick tock at the parks.
Speaker ANo new friends.
Speaker AAnd it's that time of year.
Speaker AIt is Orlando Weekly Best of Orlando competition time.
Speaker ADon't forget to nominate.
Speaker ANominate us for best local podcast under the category Local Notables.
Speaker ABest local podcast.
Speaker AThat's vote.orlandoweekly.com type in parents Night out with no New Friends.
Speaker AMy name is Scott.
Speaker AI am the host and with me as always, the scumbag reselling hoarder himself.
Speaker BChris, welcome to Remy's birthday episode.
Speaker AThe petty princess.
Speaker ASarah.
Speaker CHappy birthday, Remy.
Speaker AOur emotional support, Gay Nick.
Speaker DIt's a.
Speaker DIt's a me and your birthday.
Speaker AAnd Redbeard, the producer.
Speaker AOh my God.
Speaker AIt's my birthday too.
Speaker ASo what's going on, guys?
Speaker AWe took a week off and we took.
Speaker DOh yeah, we did.
Speaker AYeah, we took a week off because Chris had a.
Speaker AWell, so it's.
Speaker AIt's Lent.
Speaker AI'm sorry, Sarah.
Speaker ALent is what Catholics do.
Speaker A40 days, 40 nights before Easter.
Speaker AThey make a sacrifice and give something up.
Speaker ASo apparently.
Speaker DIs that the stuff in your belly button?
Speaker ANo, that's lint.
Speaker ALint, apparently.
Speaker BThis is annoying.
Speaker AChris gave up McDonald's for Lent.
Speaker BYeah, my Kryptonite is not having McDonald's I've realized because for the very first time, I tested positive for the Chinese virus.
Speaker AThe China virus.
Speaker AThe China virus.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BIt was horrible.
Speaker BSo I woke up, I was super sweaty, sweatier than normal.
Speaker BBecause I usually wake up sweaty.
Speaker BIt's just a sweaty guy woke up sweatier than.
Speaker DYou're welcome.
Speaker AChris, do you have.
Speaker AAre you fat enough for boob sweat?
Speaker BNo, I just.
Speaker BI sweat everywhere else.
Speaker AI am.
Speaker AI can't wear gray shirts or blue shirts anymore because I literally have, like, two smiley faces.
Speaker BOh, yeah, right.
Speaker DI don't think it's a fat thing.
Speaker DIt's just.
Speaker DI.
Speaker DI just.
Speaker DI have a little bit of boobies.
Speaker BBut I think once you get that age.
Speaker AIs that what it is?
Speaker BI think.
Speaker BI think the glands just.
Speaker BJust move to that location.
Speaker ALike, I'm gonna have to start wearing a bra, like, to avoid the boob sweat.
Speaker BI think it's 20, 25.
Speaker BYou could be lactating.
Speaker AI could be.
Speaker AOr like.
Speaker ALike, Sarah puts deodorant under her breast.
Speaker AI mean, she's got.
Speaker AShe's got big boobs.
Speaker AShe's got, like.
Speaker AShe puts deodorant under her breast to.
Speaker ATo make it not sweat.
Speaker ASarah, Is that.
Speaker AIs that, like.
Speaker DWhat.
Speaker CIs that makeup over here?
Speaker CNo, I'm just kidding.
Speaker CI think that's a.
Speaker CThat might be a thing for girls that actually need it, but.
Speaker CNo, some of us just wear black for a second.
Speaker BI thought you said Sarah.
Speaker BI'm like, why are you talking about this?
Speaker BI thought you said Sarah does he.
Speaker BYou said Rachel.
Speaker ARachel does it.
Speaker ADid I say Sarah?
Speaker DYou said Sarah.
Speaker AI heard.
Speaker CYeah, you said.
Speaker BThat's what I thought.
Speaker BYeah, you said Sarah does it.
Speaker ASarah doesn't do that.
Speaker ARachel does that.
Speaker AHow would I do what Sarah does with her boobs?
Speaker AAlex, cut that.
Speaker BTold you that in confidence.
Speaker BWhy would you bring that up?
Speaker DLike, breaking news.
Speaker DSarah's boobs sweat, and she's a student.
Speaker BLike, I do.
Speaker BSorry.
Speaker AI don't sweat.
Speaker CI glisten.
Speaker AOkay, you do glisten.
Speaker AI.
Speaker AI've hung out with you in the heat of summer, and you.
Speaker AYou glisten and you glow.
Speaker AThere's, like, not a drip of sweat.
Speaker AMeanwhile, I'm, like, melting like Olaf in the summer.
Speaker BYeah, I wish.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BListen, I'm a squirter.
Speaker DYour melting Scott, though, is all the beer just escaping.
Speaker DTrying to escape her body.
Speaker DBut it's like, I think we'll stick around a while, right?
Speaker BScott just rings out a shirt and re.
Speaker BDrinks.
Speaker BIt doesn't miss a drop.
Speaker AAll right, so moral of the story I need to start using deodorant under my boob to stop the boob sweat.
Speaker AAnd Rachel, not Sarah, uses deodorant to.
Speaker BStop the boob sweat.
Speaker BThat's pretty good.
Speaker BYou said it so confidently.
Speaker AOh, okay, I did, I did.
Speaker AOops.
Speaker BSo anyway, I.
Speaker AHere's.
Speaker AOkay, sorry.
Speaker AHere's the thing.
Speaker ATotal transparency.
Speaker AAbby's mom's name is Sarah, and she used to do the same thing.
Speaker ASo I think I screwed up and referred to my wife by my ex's name, which is.
Speaker BThough it's a really.
Speaker BYou dug yourself into quite the hole.
Speaker CThe original story, honestly.
Speaker ASo anyway, my wife Rachel, not my friend Sarah or my ex Sarah, she uses the deodorant under the boob.
Speaker BSo back to.
Speaker BI squirted out of my sweat glands at like three in the morning.
Speaker BAnd I.
Speaker BYou can't suffer alone.
Speaker BSo I.
Speaker BI purposely started, like, making noise, like grunting and.
Speaker BAnd like, like, I just like.
Speaker BLike a sick grunt and like tossing and turning.
Speaker BAnd then I look over, I was like, oh, you're up.
Speaker BI think I have a fever.
Speaker BAnd so she.
Speaker BShe hopped out of bed.
Speaker BIt was so cold.
Speaker BI chopped out of bed.
Speaker BGot me the thermometer and 100 and.
Speaker B107.
Speaker AThat's 107.
Speaker AWow.
Speaker AYou're like that dead friend from kindergarten, Murray, with the swine flu.
Speaker BRest in peace.
Speaker BAnd so I was like, man, this is pretty serious.
Speaker BSo I took a.
Speaker BTook an ice plunge real quick.
Speaker BI did that.
Speaker BThat viral.
Speaker BYou put the bowl with the ice water, dunk by dunk, by the ice bucket challenge.
Speaker AThe prime.
Speaker AYou pour the prime.
Speaker BYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker BWait, my slaves.
Speaker BThe banana peel.
Speaker BI was fine.
Speaker BNo.
Speaker BSo I.
Speaker BI went downstairs and I was like, I think I have the flu.
Speaker BAnd I took the.
Speaker BNow they said those over the counter flu test.
Speaker BIt's three in one flu, A, flu B, and Covid.
Speaker BSo I took that and didn't have the flu A.
Speaker BThe Chinese flu.
Speaker BI can't.
Speaker BI can't believe that in 2019, I was hoping for something more trendy like bird flu.
Speaker BAnd it was.
Speaker BIt was.
Speaker ABut isn't it a relief when you see that positive test because you're like, okay, I actually have something that I can like, show my wife.
Speaker AHey, look, I am actually sick and not just.
Speaker AI'm being a gigantic.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BTwo things.
Speaker BThree things.
Speaker BOne, happy that I had Covid.
Speaker BBecause covert doesn't affect kids.
Speaker BI was like, okay, don't have to worry about what.
Speaker BNo, it doesn't affect kids.
Speaker BLike, it affects adults.
Speaker AOkay, look it up.
Speaker BShe had the sniffles.
Speaker AOh, so she got.
Speaker AOh, my God.
Speaker BOh, my gosh.
Speaker BWell, listen, we all got it, but that's.
Speaker BYou're spoiling the ending.
Speaker AYou spoil the ending.
Speaker BNo, you.
Speaker BYou just.
Speaker BYou spoiled it.
Speaker BScott.
Speaker BYou should have said, spoiler alert.
Speaker BShe got it.
Speaker AShe got it.
Speaker BYou're the one that.
Speaker BOh, listen, you're the one that makes me have to defend myself against what you think are conspiracy theories.
Speaker BKids don't get coveted like they chat.
Speaker BGBT told me they don't get.
Speaker AAll right, so anyway, did your girls get Covid?
Speaker CActually, they did, but they didn't have any symptoms.
Speaker BKids.
Speaker ANick, Piper.
Speaker DPiper never got it.
Speaker DAnd she got tested a lot, but she never got it.
Speaker BSo, like I was saying, Abby got.
Speaker AIt, and she got it bad.
Speaker BNo, like, little kids.
Speaker BDude, I'm not talking about.
Speaker BShe's a teenager.
Speaker AWell, this was.
Speaker AThis was three years ago.
Speaker BPotato, potato.
Speaker BAnyway, so you can't even test it to two.
Speaker BTwo and younger.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BYou can't even test the.
Speaker BThe nostril's not even big enough.
Speaker BI tried.
Speaker BSo, no, I was like, how am I gonna test her?
Speaker BLike, I can't even, like, wipe her.
Speaker ANose and then swab that.
Speaker BOh, and then spit it onto this essay next time.
Speaker BSo.
Speaker BSo I came.
Speaker BYeah, came up Covid.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BThat was the first time I ever tested positive for Covid.
Speaker BNow, I do want to admit it's the first time I ever tested positive for Covet, because it is one of the first times I've ever tested.
Speaker AIf you don't.
Speaker AIf you stop testing, the results won't go up.
Speaker BSo Emily would test positive.
Speaker BAnd why would he waste two kits?
Speaker BYou're sick.
Speaker BI'm sick.
Speaker BWhy would I test?
Speaker BMy mom was like, why don't you test?
Speaker BI'm not leaving the house.
Speaker BLike, what about.
Speaker BWhat am I gonna.
Speaker BWho am I gonna test for?
Speaker BSo I quarantined myself into the.
Speaker BInto the spare bedroom.
Speaker BI quarantined myself on the couch, away from everybody, all for nothing.
Speaker BLiterally nothing.
Speaker BBecause Emily gets it, Ellie gets it, and then he was all for nothing.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BI sacrificed.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAs soon as you.
Speaker AYou broke a fever, you're like, I think I have a fee.
Speaker ALike, coughing all over your wife.
Speaker AAnd then you make her get you.
Speaker ALike, if you have a fever, leave the room.
Speaker AQuarantine immediately.
Speaker BI didn't know I had a fever.
Speaker BI was just really cold.
Speaker BOh, and it's sore and really bad.
Speaker BSore throat and body aches.
Speaker BI had no idea that I was sick.
Speaker BI thought it was just like middle of the night.
Speaker BLike, was too cold in the room.
Speaker BThroat hurts.
Speaker BSo super cold.
Speaker BFreezing.
Speaker BBody aches because I get a lot of cardio or something.
Speaker BI no idea that it was exactly what it was.
Speaker AYou know, the first time I had Covid, like, my back hurts, my hip, my hips and legs hurt.
Speaker AI was like, man, that must have been a hell of a workout you yesterday that I realized I don't work out.
Speaker BIt's the fever.
Speaker BYeah, it's the fever making you think live a whole other lifestyle.
Speaker BSo, yeah, everyone's, Everyone got sick.
Speaker BThen my mom gets sick.
Speaker BWho comes over and helps me with Ellie.
Speaker BSo when she was sick.
Speaker BSo like the whole week after I had to take Ellie, it was take your daughter to work week.
Speaker BAnd she was helping me.
Speaker BShe was helping me.
Speaker BIt was, of course, it was a week where we had to fix a lot of stuff.
Speaker BSo she's helped me.
Speaker BLike, like I drop a lug nut and then it's in her mouth.
Speaker BShe's, she's chewing on the, chewing on the lug.
Speaker BN.
Speaker BNo, actually, no.
Speaker BDidn't bring another garage.
Speaker BI put her on a pack and play in the transportation room.
Speaker BTransportation office.
Speaker BAnd I called Astro over and just put on Ms.
Speaker BRachel in front of Astro, and she was glued to Astro.
Speaker BHer and Astro are now best friends.
Speaker ASo now Astro is a free babysitter.
Speaker BOh, absolutely.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BAnd then I can, and I'm in the garage and I could just, I can just drop in and use this little camera to watch or make sure she's all right.
Speaker BShe loved him, so.
Speaker BAnd the worst part about it was she's going through the separation anxiety phase.
Speaker BSo it's like the only person it either needs to be me in the room with her or Ms.
Speaker BRachel in the room with her.
Speaker BAnd as long as one of us are in the room with her, she's like, you know who Ms.
Speaker BRachel is, right, Scott?
Speaker AYeah, my wife.
Speaker BRachel's the.
Speaker AMs.
Speaker ARachel.
Speaker BMs.
Speaker BRachel's this.
Speaker DNow you remember this?
Speaker BRachel's this YouTuber.
Speaker BYeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker ASo she's not big in the conservative homes.
Speaker BI don't, I, I, Yeah, because she's.
Speaker AAn ally and they're homophobic.
Speaker BI, I, this is, this is the first I'm hearing.
Speaker BI thought she was homophobic.
Speaker ANo, no, she's not kidding.
Speaker BThat was a joke.
Speaker BThat was a joke.
Speaker BThere's a transsexual person on the, yeah, on the, on the show.
Speaker AYeah, Conservatives don't like her.
Speaker BJules.
Speaker BJules.
Speaker BMr.
Speaker BAaron and Ms.
Speaker BRachel.
Speaker BAnd then this is Not a lady.
Speaker BI don't know her name, but she's there anyway.
Speaker BSo Ms.
Speaker BRachel took care of that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BSo now we're all better.
Speaker BI kid you not.
Speaker BAnd I wish this was satire.
Speaker BIn the last six days, I've had McDonald's twice.
Speaker BI went mostly because they have these new collectibles, but I'm like, I need to get my meds back up.
Speaker BI need to get my meds back up.
Speaker BThe one thing that did linger though, and I'm not saying I have long Covid because I heard that's the thing, but the congestion in my ears has stay stuck around.
Speaker BSo I remember going on Tick Tock shop or Tick Tock and they're directing me to Tick Tock.
Speaker ABuying a neck fan.
Speaker BSeeing these, Seeing these.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BBut if you do, please visit at the parks.
Speaker BNo to friends.
Speaker BTo get the best deal on Tick Tock.
Speaker BAnd I remember seeing this like, this like camera earwax digger thing.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AOh yeah, yeah, I've seen them.
Speaker BYeah, You've seen those?
Speaker AYeah, they usually show up like Dr.
Speaker APimple Popper is in my algorithm.
Speaker AAnd then the.
Speaker BYeah, it's like the gross.
Speaker DYeah, it's like super late at night.
Speaker DIt's only super late at night when they pop up for me.
Speaker BYeah, it's like once you get to the GR and then you're watching it for like 15 minutes and it's like, why am I watching for 15 minutes?
Speaker AI wish it was only 15 minutes.
Speaker ADude, Chris, I stumbled upon one of those videos at like midnight and the next thing I knew it's 4:30 in the morning.
Speaker ABecause I'm just watching pimple popping videos.
Speaker BI don't know what it is about them, but they're deliciously.
Speaker BDon't say, oh, okay, wait, why do I say deliciously?
Speaker AHave you ever seen when they.
Speaker AWhen they like ruptured a cow?
Speaker ACyst.
Speaker BOnes too?
Speaker BThe hoof?
Speaker BIf there's affected hoofs.
Speaker BYeah, they drill it out.
Speaker BThere's like green and stuff.
Speaker BAnyway, speaking of ordering this thing, I ordered medicine from Doordash because I ordered the earwax thing.
Speaker BI ordered stuff from Doordash Medicine so I could feel better.
Speaker BSo the guy gets to the door and I had to.
Speaker BThey had to scan my ID because I got Sudafed.
Speaker BSo.
Speaker AYeah, you have to show your id.
Speaker BYeah, he had to scan my ID and I'm like, yeah, I.
Speaker BI opened the doors like, yeah, this is the first I've read to do this.
Speaker BHe goes.
Speaker BHe goes, yeah.
Speaker BEver since Breaking Bad came out, everyone's trying to make meth now.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BThank you, sir.
Speaker AWow.
Speaker AIt spread.
Speaker AI mean, that was a big Florida thing for a while.
Speaker AI guess it spread up to Jersey.
Speaker BOh, yeah.
Speaker BThey made it mainstream.
Speaker BSo I ordered the earwax camera tool thing, first of all.
Speaker BFive stars.
Speaker DI have on five stars.
Speaker BIt's great.
Speaker BOh, it's.
Speaker BIt's.
Speaker BIt's great.
Speaker BYou know what's not great, Nick?
Speaker DWhat?
Speaker BLooks nothing like the videos on Tik Tok and Instagram.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BMy ears.
Speaker BI never wanted my ears to be dirtier than when I.
Speaker BI wanted them to look so disgusting.
Speaker BAnd these people are pulling out freaking Milk duds out of their ears.
Speaker BAnd I pull out like.
Speaker BLike a grain of rice, and it's, like, wet.
Speaker BLike, it's like healthy wax.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BI pulled out, like, healthy wax.
Speaker BAnd it looks huge.
Speaker DIt looks giant on the camera.
Speaker DAnd you pull it out and there's like, where's it at?
Speaker BYeah, it's like Nick has that same issue on.
Speaker BOn Grinder.
Speaker BWhy.
Speaker BWhy is it so small when it gets here?
Speaker AI would probably be the perfect person to have video of this stuff.
Speaker ABecause I don't.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker AI'm scared of Q tips.
Speaker AAnd so my mom cleaned out my ears until I was, like, in my mid-20s.
Speaker AAnd then my ex wife, she took the role of ear cleaner out.
Speaker BSarah.
Speaker ANo, my.
Speaker AMy ex wife, Darren and Michaela's mom.
Speaker AAnd then.
Speaker ABut then Abby's mom, Sarah, she cleaned out my ears.
Speaker BThe deodorant boob girl.
Speaker ABut now, like, I'm afraid to ask Rachel.
Speaker ALike, I haven't, like, so I haven't cleaned.
Speaker ARachel and I've been together almost 10 years now.
Speaker AI haven't cleaned out my ears in 10 years.
Speaker AWell, that's actually not true because.
Speaker ASarah, are you a Q tip person?
Speaker CI am.
Speaker CThat's, like, religiously probably an unhealthy amount.
Speaker AOh, okay.
Speaker AI'm more of a pen cap or.
Speaker AOr like, what?
Speaker ACar key person.
Speaker CThat's what I use.
Speaker CYou're an old man.
Speaker DWhat?
Speaker DNo.
Speaker CI feel like the only time I've ever seen somebody do that is an old person.
Speaker AOh, really?
Speaker DMy grandma used to use a toothpick.
Speaker BOh, no.
Speaker DI'm like, I don't know how that's.
Speaker CSafe, but it's not.
Speaker DI mean, apparently Q tips aren't safe in your ears either.
Speaker AWell, yeah.
Speaker AQ tips just.
Speaker AThey push the wax deeper into your brain.
Speaker ASo that's why.
Speaker ABecause I can scoop it just like the.
Speaker AI just don't have a camera on my pen cap.
Speaker BI don't I don't believe that.
Speaker BWell, you're telling me Q tips aren't safe.
Speaker BIt's like big pen cap.
Speaker BThere's no way.
Speaker BSay that a.
Speaker BA cotton on a stick is bad.
Speaker AFor your ear because it pushes the wax deeper.
Speaker BI don't believe that.
Speaker AI.
Speaker BListen.
Speaker BI stuck a camera in my ear there.
Speaker BI'm not pushing anything anywhere.
Speaker AIt's.
Speaker BIt's maybe the milk dudier people.
Speaker BThat might.
Speaker BMight be bad for Q tips, but mine are fine.
Speaker AThat's what the.
Speaker AThe commercials say when you wait, like, for the.
Speaker BFor the stuff that they want you to find something else.
Speaker AThe drill thing came out where it's like a little drill, and it's like, this is the most effective way to clean out your ears because it, like, drills it out.
Speaker AIt's like rubber, and it, like, spins it out instead.
Speaker BIt sounds very unsafe.
Speaker AIt's rubber.
Speaker DIt's fine until your entire eardrum comes out, which I feel like my husband.
Speaker DMy husband uses a Q tip, and he's very aggressive with this Q tip.
Speaker DAnd I.
Speaker DI don't know how to describe it to people at home with it, but it's.
Speaker DIt's so alarming, and it might.
Speaker DIt might be the reason why he chooses not to listen to me half the time.
Speaker DOr he just can't hear.
Speaker DI don't know.
Speaker AYou just can't hear.
Speaker DYeah, we'll use that as an excuse.
Speaker AI use my finger a lot too.
Speaker ALike, I'll grow out.
Speaker AI'll grow like, my pinky.
Speaker AI look like one of those, like, cocaine people.
Speaker AYeah, with the long nail.
Speaker AI use that to clean out my ears.
Speaker CNobody would assume that's what you're doing with it, by the way.
Speaker AWell, it's fine, Sarah.
Speaker AEditing the podcast with the beard so red.
Speaker AHe's the silent hero.
Speaker ANever leaves his bed.
Speaker AProducer in the shadows where the magic's fed.
Speaker AWhen Redbeard walks in, you know you're.
Speaker BSeeing Red.
Speaker ARedbeard, the producer.
Speaker AHe's the sound machine.
Speaker BSilent, stealthy, editing unseen.
Speaker AWith a sleight of thunder and a beat of might.
Speaker BWalk on with red spirit under spotlight.
Speaker AEditor Redbeard here.
Speaker AJust letting you know I love cleaning my ear out with Q tips.
Speaker AI don't understand what Scott's talking about.
Speaker AHe's afraid of Q tips.
Speaker AI don't understand that.
Speaker AI clean my ears out like.
Speaker ALike Sarah religiously.
Speaker AIt's almost like euphoric when I do.
Speaker AIt feels so good.
Speaker BIs that the end of your story, Chris?
Speaker BOh, well, that's it.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BI mean that.
Speaker BThat's it.
Speaker BI'm better now.
Speaker AWell, that's good.
Speaker BMy mom.
Speaker BOh, my mom got covet and the flu, so she's.
Speaker BYeah, so she's on the bench.
Speaker BMy six man is.
Speaker BIs not been around.
Speaker ASo you've had to.
Speaker AYou've had to watch your kid a lot.
Speaker BYeah, it's been a.
Speaker BIt's been.
Speaker BI think I texted you.
Speaker BYeah, I think I text you saying tomorrow.
Speaker BWell, this was, you know, a week or so ago.
Speaker BWill be the first day for like, I'm gonna.
Speaker BI'm by myself.
Speaker BI think I used the term babysitting my dog.
Speaker BYeah, the babysit.
Speaker BMy daughter.
Speaker BAnd you know what?
Speaker BWe've had a great time.
Speaker BShe is.
Speaker BShe's getting so big and she's so much fun.
Speaker BThe only bad thing is, is I taught her how to be independent, like, very well meaning.
Speaker BI'm just on my phone all the time when I'm with her.
Speaker AAnd that is true.
Speaker AI talked to Chris more when Ellie's awake because he's like, yeah, I can't do anything, so I'm just holding her.
Speaker BYeah, I play Madden with her and then I just like, have to like, block so she can't get down.
Speaker BLike fall down the steps into the basement.
Speaker BAnd so we.
Speaker BWe've.
Speaker BWe've grown a too close of a bond, I should say.
Speaker BBecause now the separation anxiety now involves me as well.
Speaker BIt used to be just Emily.
Speaker BNow it's like when I leave the room, she.
Speaker BSo I can't even like go, like go to the bathroom for two seconds without her, like thinking that I'm never gonna return.
Speaker BWhen in the past, she's like, who is this guy anyway?
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BSo.
Speaker BSo that, that.
Speaker BNo, we are.
Speaker BWe are very tight now.
Speaker BShe does this really cool thing where if you try to give her a fist bumper, a high five, she just headbutts it.
Speaker BAnd I hope she never grows out of that because it's the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker BBut on my.
Speaker BMy latest dose of Big Mac the other day, we were.
Speaker BWe.
Speaker BWe took her to McDonald's.
Speaker BEmily and I were out shopping and let's grab McDonald's.
Speaker BSo we took Ellie there, which is so much fun, doing like stupid little things with a little kid because it just makes everything so much more fun.
Speaker BShe.
Speaker BSo we get her a high chair.
Speaker AYou obviously have not been to the grocery store yet.
Speaker BNo.
Speaker BYeah, she's great.
Speaker BYeah, she's great.
Speaker BShe loves the grocery store.
Speaker BShe's a ham.
Speaker AAll of my kids are heathens in the grocery store.
Speaker BNo, she's the ever.
Speaker BShe's like, I.
Speaker BI feel like I'm a celebrity.
Speaker BEveryone's like, looking at me.
Speaker BWhen you're a guy going somewhere alone, everyone always gives you weird looks.
Speaker BSometimes I think you're following them if you're going down the same aisle with them, you know, now it's like everyone's following me.
Speaker AYou're going by yourself with a baby.
Speaker AThey are throwing panties.
Speaker BOh, yeah.
Speaker BIt's like.
Speaker BIt's like, did you just abduct this.
Speaker BThis child, or are you just actually a good father?
Speaker BRight.
Speaker BA little bit of both.
Speaker BSo.
Speaker BSo we're at McDonald's and like I said, this whole headbutt thing, she loves doing this.
Speaker BSo we put a piece of food in front of her and she goes to give it a headbutt high five and just knocked herself on the table and then went and did it again.
Speaker BAnd she looked up and she's like, tears are she.
Speaker BShe had a red mark, guys.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker BThe next couple hours.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BSo cute.
Speaker BBut it is dangerous.
Speaker AI've met Chris's parents before.
Speaker AThey said he used to do the same thing.
Speaker ASo it explains a lot about what the evolution of this is going to be.
Speaker BI have long concussion, but yeah.
Speaker BSo it's really funny when it's against my fist, which actually sounds.
Speaker BIt's really funny when she does it softly towards my hand.
Speaker AThere you go.
Speaker BNot as funny.
Speaker BIt's pretty funny when she does at the table.
Speaker BBut it's sad.
Speaker BIt's.
Speaker BIt's sad.
Speaker BIt was pretty funny seeing the red mark on her head for the rest of the day.
Speaker BLike you did that to yourself.
Speaker ABut anyway, learning opportunity.
Speaker BDefinitely learning opportunity.
Speaker BI'll have to send you guys a video.
Speaker BHer cousin came over who's just her in six months, and he came over and she just walked.
Speaker BShe.
Speaker BShe crawled over to him and.
Speaker BAnd went to him and just.
Speaker BIt looks like she's bowing to him because she keeps doing that thing to his head.
Speaker BLooks like she's bowing.
Speaker ASo when you had Covid and like before you inconsiderately gave it to your wife and kid, what did you do with your time?
Speaker BAnd my mom?
Speaker AWhat?
Speaker AOh, and your mom?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BAnd my mom.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AWhat did you do with your time?
Speaker AVideo games.
Speaker BI'm in year seven of a rebuild of the Philadelphia Eagles.
Speaker BThere's a scenario in which Jalen Hurts was caught in a putting like gang posts online.
Speaker BThey tied him to the Bloods, so we had to cut him.
Speaker BOh, and we drafted a.
Speaker BWe drafted a young up and coming quarterback and now we're in the middle of rebuilding with them.
Speaker BSaquon Barkley was traded and we drafted.
Speaker BWe drafted the guy from Boise State.
Speaker BEven with.
Speaker BWhen we had Saquon Genty, Ashton Genti, we drafted him.
Speaker BWe traded AJ Brown because he was too much of a problem in the locker room, which is actually realistic.
Speaker BAnd.
Speaker BAnd yes.
Speaker BSo we're in the middle of a.
Speaker BOf a seven year.
Speaker BI'm in the seventh year of that rebuild, so.
Speaker BOkay, that took about 40 hours.
Speaker BI'm just kidding.
Speaker BIt took way longer than that.
Speaker BSo I did a.
Speaker BI did a lot of.
Speaker BI did a lot of that.
Speaker BAnd the other.
Speaker BThe other half was.
Speaker BWas.
Speaker BWas sleeping and just infecting everybody.
Speaker ARight, right.
Speaker BIt was the majority of the rest of my time.
Speaker AWell, good for you.
Speaker AGood for you.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ANick, you had an exciting week.
Speaker AYou.
Speaker DI did.
Speaker DBut first, actually, you're talking sports stuff, and I have a sports update, guys.
Speaker DOh, yes.
Speaker DMove.
Speaker DI'm gay.
Speaker AHere he comes, all fierce, all fab, strutting in the shimmering sass.
Speaker AEmotional support.
Speaker BGay in the ring, come to win.
Speaker AWith flare and bling.
Speaker BDown every door.
Speaker DI haven't been on in two weeks, but we started kickball last week.
Speaker COh, nice.
Speaker DAnd here's how amazing it was.
Speaker DIt rained last week, so we got canceled.
Speaker DWe ended up just going to a bar and having some pizza.
Speaker DAnd that sounds like a really good day.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker DSo it was.
Speaker DIt was an amazing time.
Speaker DSo it's been two weeks, which means we had another game this past Sunday, but we had another monsoon and it flooded to the point that they're putting floodgates up in Columbus, so.
Speaker BOh, my God.
Speaker DI don't know what's happening, but it's.
Speaker DIt's been canceled.
Speaker DMother Mother Nature is trying to protect my dignity, I think so.
Speaker AEither that or Mother Nature's homophobic.
Speaker DIt might be.
Speaker DIt might be.
Speaker DWell, probably not, because she always leaves us rainbow at the end.
Speaker AThat's true.
Speaker BIt is true.
Speaker DMaybe she's just trying to protect my Achilles tendon.
Speaker BLike, Chris told you to stretch.
Speaker DI have not been stretching.
Speaker DBut also, can we talk about March Madness?
Speaker DIt's over, guys.
Speaker DAnd I'm very.
Speaker ANot yet.
Speaker DOh, well, it's April.
Speaker DIt's April.
Speaker DBoy, let's talk about that again.
Speaker BWhat?
Speaker DMake that make sense, please.
Speaker BThat is a good point, actually.
Speaker AMarch Madness is most of the tournament, and then the Final Four is usually the, like, the first week of April.
Speaker ASo Final Four was on Saturday, and the championship game is tonight between the Florida Gators and the Houston Something Cougars.
Speaker DOkay, nobody cares so back to my.
Speaker CWhat you're.
Speaker CWhat you're saying is by the time this airs, it's over.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AYeah, you're right.
Speaker AThis is why.
Speaker CI'm sorry, Nick.
Speaker AThis is why you should be the host.
Speaker DWell, I had a really good joke, so I'll make it make sense.
Speaker DAlex can cut that out or whatever, but it doesn't make sense that it's still going on.
Speaker DSo March Madness is over, which means I can finally stop pretending to care about sweaty men, straight balls.
Speaker DUnless it's pride weekend.
Speaker DAnd then lastly, big update in gay sports news is Trump has been out there golfing and he's trying to put the economy back together.
Speaker DOne niner and at a time.
Speaker DAt this point, the only thing lower than his handicap is the stock market.
Speaker DI think he can.
Speaker DFor him.
Speaker AYeah, you can take him when you're talking about golf.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BI go for the handicap guy once.
Speaker DOh, was it.
Speaker DDid Sean hook up with him?
Speaker DThat's really the only thing I knew about sports.
Speaker DAnd the only thing I've been hearing about sports is that freaking golf.
Speaker DBut also, I just want to play football, guys.
Speaker DAnd it's been raining here, but so back to what we were going to talk about, actually, is before all this rain, I was actually in Florida for a day.
Speaker AYes, you were.
Speaker AIt was a day that I couldn't hang out with you, unfortunately.
Speaker DCouldn't or didn't want to?
Speaker DOr was it the other way where I didn't want to hang with you?
Speaker AI was working.
Speaker ADamn it.
Speaker DYou would have loved it.
Speaker DBut, yeah, I had a light, nice last minute surprise.
Speaker DSo I.
Speaker DI don't know if I talked about it last time.
Speaker DIt's been a couple weeks and I do drugs.
Speaker DBut I went to New York City on Thursday.
Speaker DAnd by drugs, I mean the weed.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker DAnd all the medications.
Speaker DBut went to New York City on Thursday and I got invited by Virgin Voyages to attend an invite only event to talk about the new ship that's coming out in September.
Speaker DBrilliant lady.
Speaker DSo I had this plan for like a week and a half, and then I found out Friday before that I got invited to go to Epic Universe.
Speaker DI have a friend that works there and he's like, I can get you guys tickets.
Speaker AOh, that's.
Speaker DCan you fly down?
Speaker DSo Sean And I, literally 10:00 at night, high as a kite, are trying to plan a trip to Epic Universe in five days.
Speaker AAnd if you need to plan a trip to epic universe in five days, vacations.com.
Speaker Atell me podcast.
Speaker DListen to my itinerary.
Speaker DSo I flew to New York city at like 6:30 in the morning on Thursday.
Speaker DI flew from New New Jersey, Newark.
Speaker BSorry to hear that.
Speaker BThat's the worst airport I've ever been to.
Speaker DAwful.
Speaker BWe don't claim that.
Speaker AYeah, I love that airport because that's.
Speaker DThe airport's nice.
Speaker DBut they always cancel flights and that's where I was nervous.
Speaker AI always fly into Newark when I'm going to New York and like, so it's exciting.
Speaker AIt's a childhood memory.
Speaker AThat's it.
Speaker DChildhood.
Speaker AWell, yeah, because I used to go.
Speaker AI have family in New York, so.
Speaker AOr New Jersey, so fly into New Jersey, Newark, and then I get to go into Manhattan.
Speaker DWell, times have changed since you were a child.
Speaker DAnd a lot of color TVs now.
Speaker DYes.
Speaker DSo I flew from New Jersey to Orlando, leaving at 6:00 in the morning on Friday.
Speaker DSo I literally was in New York for less than 24 hours and slept probably about an hour because apparently there's no trains that run from New York City to New Jersey at 2:00 in the morning.
Speaker DSo I had to take the 1am train and sleep on the airport concrete because I'm an amazing travel agent.
Speaker DSo that was wonderful.
Speaker DBut we made it to Orlando.
Speaker DSean.
Speaker DSo Sean flew down and on top of all this, Sean's in Ohio.
Speaker DSean flew down from Ohio to meet me in Orlando.
Speaker DMaddie flew from Pennsylvania to meet us in Orlando.
Speaker DAnd there's just a lot of moving parts and a small amount of time, but we made it and went to Epic Universe on Friday.
Speaker DAnd how was.
Speaker DWas amazing.
Speaker DSo I'm not a huge Universal IP fan.
Speaker DI don't do.
Speaker DI don't follow Harry Potter.
Speaker DI don't know.
Speaker DI haven't seen how to train your dragon yet, but now I want to see it.
Speaker AYeah, I've never seen how to train your dragon either.
Speaker DSuper Nintendo World I was the most excited for that was my land because I went to the one in California and I knew it was going to be bigger and better here.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker DWhich it was.
Speaker DIt was amazing.
Speaker DThe shitty part was we were not allowed to take pictures or videos while we're there.
Speaker DThe even shittier part is the very next day they lifted this policy ban.
Speaker DAnd a lot of people take pictures and video.
Speaker DSo because it's in preview mode right now, they were doing.
Speaker DThere's literally signs everywhere and I feel like there's people hiding in the bushes waiting for you to take a picture.
Speaker DYeah, they've been kicking people out.
Speaker A700 employees got fired.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker BHow many?
Speaker ALike 700.
Speaker BOh, my gosh.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker AHere's what's crazy, Nick, is like.
Speaker AIt's almost like the influencers, like, the big influencers, not me, running around, you know, drinking beer at Hollywood Studios, you know, going live at the Indiana Jones show.
Speaker DThat's.
Speaker DThat's just called under the Influence.
Speaker ARight, Right.
Speaker ABut, like, some of the bigger influencers, they must have known because they were literally all there the very.
Speaker ALike, that first day that it gets lifted.
Speaker DUniversal must have had it planned out perfectly because that's when the media previews were.
Speaker AWell, that's probably what they were waiting for, is media gets first.
Speaker AFirst access to the content.
Speaker ABut then, like, every single day since then, the big influencers have all been there, and it's like, you suck.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker DAnyway, I.
Speaker DI did Snake One picture.
Speaker BDid you.
Speaker DDon't tell anybody.
Speaker AOh, no.
Speaker AAlex got that.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker DAnd then the Dark Universe.
Speaker DI.
Speaker DThat was more Sean's realm.
Speaker DDark Universe, because he likes all the scary movie crap, so.
Speaker DBut I.
Speaker DI love the park.
Speaker DIt's a really awesome layout.
Speaker DIt's cool that you walk into this, like, Central park area and you go into these realms and, like, those tunnels there.
Speaker DWalking in, it's just.
Speaker DIt's magical.
Speaker DEspecially Super Nintendo World.
Speaker DAmazing.
Speaker ASo how.
Speaker AWhat would you compare Epic Universe to?
Speaker AThe current Universal parks or any of the Disney parks that you've been to?
Speaker DYou can't.
Speaker AOkay, so ranking.
Speaker AWhere would you put it on your ranking?
Speaker DI mean, it's number one for Universal parks.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker BDefinitely.
Speaker AWould you rank it above Magic Kingdom?
Speaker DNo.
Speaker AOh, Hollywood Studios.
Speaker DNo.
Speaker AWow.
Speaker AEpcot.
Speaker DAs far as rides go.
Speaker DYes.
Speaker DDepends.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker DGuardians of Galaxy is a really good ride, though.
Speaker CThe best.
Speaker DSee, here's the thing.
Speaker DLike, the best roller coaster that they have there, it's super awesome, but it's literally just a roller coaster.
Speaker DThere's not really, like a lion cue or anything.
Speaker DIt's literally.
Speaker DI felt like I was at.
Speaker AYeah, it's not themed at all.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker AExcept for the back of the roller coaster has a flux capacitor on it.
Speaker DCool.
Speaker DWhere's the storyline?
Speaker AOkay, the storyline.
Speaker DWhere's my gift shop at the end?
Speaker AThe storyline is the people that live in Celestial park, they found a way to transport themselves to these different lands through these portals.
Speaker AWell, also the Stardust Racers.
Speaker AStardust Racers, which are also comets.
Speaker AThey essentially channel these comets so they can also.
Speaker DSo they're aliens.
Speaker ATransport themselves to the different lands.
Speaker AThat's why that's the only thing you can see from each land.
Speaker DIt doesn't make sense.
Speaker AIt.
Speaker AIt makes perfect Sense.
Speaker AI just didn't explain it well.
Speaker DWhere's, where's, where's the book that's telling me this when I walk in?
Speaker DWhere's the video?
Speaker AListen, theme parks do not do a very good job of telling the story.
Speaker AThey expect you to understand the story without.
Speaker AI'm convinced that, I'm convinced that if Chester and Hester In Dino and USA had their own Disney plus show where they explained the lore of DinoLand USA, DinoLand USA would never close.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CRIP Dino Land.
Speaker DI'm sorry.
Speaker DSorry for a loss.
Speaker DSorry for a loss.
Speaker CI'm, I'm really sad about it and nobody.
Speaker CI'm sorry, but nobody needs more Indiana Jones.
Speaker DWell, also, Indiana Jones doesn't belong there, but that's another story for another day and I think I've told it already.
Speaker DOkay.
Speaker DYeah.
Speaker DWhat else for Epic?
Speaker DI.
Speaker DIt's, it's a really cool, like I said, walking into like the realms and the portals and stuff.
Speaker DEverything is just amazing.
Speaker DYou feel like you're in a movie set.
Speaker DSo I.
Speaker D10 out of 10 recommend it.
Speaker AWell, yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker AAnd are you booking vacations right now to Epic?
Speaker DI am booking vacations.
Speaker DThere's a lot of really good package deals right now.
Speaker DI actually was able.
Speaker DSo literally two weeks ago, Disney decided to release promotions for summer 2025.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker DAll these amazing deals on the same day.
Speaker DUniversal decides, let's release Epic Universe Express Passes.
Speaker DSo what a fun day.
Speaker DThat was, adding all those on.
Speaker DBut I found like a needle in a haystack with the Express passes and the fact that it cost my clients 10 extra dollars to add on Express passes.
Speaker AWhat?
Speaker D$5 a person?
Speaker AHow is that possible?
Speaker DI don't know.
Speaker DI'm waiting for Universal to call me and be like, oh, we need to charge more.
Speaker DNo, I got screenshots and everything.
Speaker AExpress passes can cost up to 200.
Speaker DTwo to 300.
Speaker A$300.
Speaker BScott, your call.
Speaker BYours cost actually double that.
Speaker AYeah, people don't pay me back.
Speaker DAnd Express classes are highly.
Speaker DYou need them at Epic.
Speaker DEpic is definitely.
Speaker DIt's gonna be a two day park just to get through the lines and everything and the shows and stuff too.
Speaker DAnd, and if you want to experience everything that they have to offer, like playing with all the interactive games and Super Nintendo World.
Speaker DI could spend five hours in Super Nintendo World getting all those 1 ups.
Speaker AYeah, it's a lot of fun.
Speaker DBut can I also talk about one thing that I did not like?
Speaker DAnd I'm sure you as a person of a higher weight, larger weight, to.
Speaker ABe known as high calorie?
Speaker DYeah, high calorie.
Speaker DDid you go through the super.
Speaker DThe Mario Kart ride queue?
Speaker AYes.
Speaker DSo to get into this ride queue, Chris, you have to go up, like, three flights of stairs.
Speaker DOkay.
Speaker DAnd then you walk through these long hallways, and then you go down, like, eight flights of stairs, and then you go on the ride, and then you have to go back up two flights of stairs to go back down two flights of stairs.
Speaker BNo, I'm not riding that.
Speaker BI'm sorry.
Speaker DWe can just go karts, and we'll just throw bananas at each other.
Speaker BI'll watch a POV ride through.
Speaker BYeah, there's no way I'm doing all that work.
Speaker BNo, no ride is worth all that work.
Speaker DYeah, that was.
Speaker DThat was my biggest complaint, really, was The.
Speaker DThe layout.
Speaker DI'm like, literally, you guys built this park from the ground up.
Speaker DYou had the room to build a flat land.
Speaker DAnd every time we walk through, we're like, disney would have done this.
Speaker DDisney would have made them stairs.
Speaker AI think it's part of the story.
Speaker BPart of the story.
Speaker DMario's not tall enough to jump up those stairs.
Speaker DYeah, I know.
Speaker DThere's.
Speaker DChris.
Speaker BNo, it's a.
Speaker AIt's a great way to save space.
Speaker AJust up and down.
Speaker AYou just, you know, do circles around yourself.
Speaker DIt's a fun ride, especially if you.
Speaker DIf you pop an edible before it and you are on rainbow Road.
Speaker DHands down, best experience ever.
Speaker ASo, speaking of cars, Sarah, something happened to your car this week.
Speaker CYeah, I replaced it.
Speaker CI did.
Speaker AYou replaced it?
Speaker ASo you bought a new one?
Speaker CI sure did.
Speaker CSee, what had happened was I did what any normal car owner does.
Speaker CThe check engine light came on.
Speaker AYour oil change?
Speaker CNo, I went in for my oil change.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CLewis and I both were going together, and, you know, it takes a while.
Speaker CWe were at the dealership like an.
Speaker CWere in, and my ADHD and my overstimulation just.
Speaker CIt was not working.
Speaker CSo I said, let's.
Speaker CLet's get up.
Speaker CLet's walk around.
Speaker CI read my book, scrolled through TikTok.
Speaker CPeople watched.
Speaker CGotta walk around.
Speaker CSo we go out to the car lot, and there it was.
Speaker CThe cutest Mini Cooper I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker BYou are such a Mini Cooper Galaxy now.
Speaker CI am so not.
Speaker CI mean, you look like a man.
Speaker CAlways had small cars.
Speaker CSmall and fast.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker CAnd then I got them.
Speaker CThe crv.
Speaker CNo.
Speaker CWell, I had a crv.
Speaker CAll right.
Speaker CWe.
Speaker CIt was perfect.
Speaker CWe were able to move in it and everything.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CNow I can fit two backpacks in my truck and A lunchbox and a lunchbox.
Speaker CYeah, you know what?
Speaker CI.
Speaker CI might be able to fit three of those, but.
Speaker CBut we're talking school backpacks.
Speaker CI was trying to shove them in today so that they.
Speaker CThey just cleared the trunk, but I.
Speaker CAll I wanted to do was get an oil change, so now I have a new car.
Speaker BAre you having buyer's remorse now?
Speaker CAbsolutely not.
Speaker COh, my God.
Speaker CI'm through.
Speaker BOkay, so you don't care about the trunk space.
Speaker BNobody cares about the trunk space.
Speaker CNobody cares about the trunk space.
Speaker CI.
Speaker CI will shove a kid in the trunk space if I have to.
Speaker CJust listen.
Speaker AOh, Jesus.
Speaker BCasey Anthony Scott's like, wow, Can I borrow it?
Speaker COh, my God.
Speaker CI didn't even think about that.
Speaker CI apologize.
Speaker CWell, we've said worse.
Speaker CIt's fine.
Speaker CI.
Speaker CI'm making Lewis a little jealous.
Speaker CI.
Speaker CI feel bad.
Speaker CSo now I'm on the hunt with him to get him a new car, because now mine is really fast and really loud.
Speaker CI pro.
Speaker CPissing off some of the neighbors, but I truly don't care because this thing.
Speaker AReally fast and really loud.
Speaker CThat's like 400 horsepower.
Speaker BOh, my gosh.
Speaker AOh, wow.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker CIt's insane.
Speaker CYep.
Speaker CSo anyways, I'm like the flash guys.
Speaker CYou won't see me on i4, Scott.
Speaker CI'm just going too fast.
Speaker CTakes me a lot less time to get to work in the morning, I tell you that.
Speaker CSo, yeah, I'm.
Speaker CI'm really excited.
Speaker CBut I was just cracking up after I did it.
Speaker CI'm like, I can't believe I went in for an oil change and I came out with the car.
Speaker BWhat you do with the car?
Speaker CPeople have done that before.
Speaker BWhat you do with the car?
Speaker DThe old car.
Speaker CWhat do you mean, the old car?
Speaker COh, they gave it back to them.
Speaker CI bought it at the same place.
Speaker BDid you.
Speaker BDid you.
Speaker BDid they make you pay for the oil change?
Speaker ATrade it in.
Speaker CI traded it in.
Speaker BDid they make you pay for the oil change?
Speaker CI had lifetime oil.
Speaker CListen, here's the funny thing is that, you know, at the end of the oil change, they give you this breakdown.
Speaker CAnd, like, my tires were like.
Speaker CLike they were rough, okay?
Speaker CI was.
Speaker CI was going bald getting the new tire.
Speaker AShe's like, I'll just get a new car.
Speaker DThat.
Speaker DThat's exactly what I did last year.
Speaker CThey broke it all down for me.
Speaker CIt was like $1,200 worth of crap that needed to be done, and rightfully so, because I haven't.
Speaker CI haven't needed to do it up to that Point.
Speaker CBut I'm kind of hard on my brakes, and I.
Speaker CI drive a lot.
Speaker CAnd I was like, you know what?
Speaker CLet's hold off on that, because I might actually just give you the car back and get a different one.
Speaker CAnd that's exactly what happened.
Speaker CSo after back and forth trips, getting kids from school and back and doing that twice, 40 minutes, mind you, we managed to.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CGet a new car.
Speaker ANow she has to take two trips to the school because she can only fit one kid in the car at a time.
Speaker CNo.
Speaker CI made sure that their legs cleared.
Speaker CBarely.
Speaker CBarely.
Speaker CBecause the entire reason that I.
Speaker CI got a CRV in the first place was because I needed something.
Speaker CI was driving my 93 fox body, okay, with.
Speaker CWith a lot of issues.
Speaker CI was smoking out the kids with the exhaust.
Speaker CI.
Speaker CI had to trade it in because that was a daily driver.
Speaker CWell, they're still alive, so we did something right.
Speaker CAnd I got the crv because I was like, they're growing kids.
Speaker CYou know, they're into sports and dance and yada yada.
Speaker CAnd then this time, I said, you know what?
Speaker CScrew them.
Speaker CI'm getting this car.
Speaker AGood for you.
Speaker CActually.
Speaker CActually, we've been driving around in the CRV for a very long time, and they keep saying, I wish you had the race car still.
Speaker CBecause that's what they called my Mustang.
Speaker CThat's what it was used for.
Speaker CIt was a drag car before I bought it, so it was the race car to them.
Speaker CSo I was like, you know what?
Speaker CYou guys are right.
Speaker BNick's car is a drag car once in a while.
Speaker BSo you got a race car.
Speaker BSo you.
Speaker BSo you.
Speaker BYou went full circle.
Speaker BIs it a stick shift?
Speaker CI sure did.
Speaker CThey were like, no, it's not.
Speaker ANo.
Speaker BDoes it have the cool paddle shifters, though, still?
Speaker CIt sure does.
Speaker CIt's the.
Speaker CIt turns out, because I know nothing about Mini Coopers, I know a lot about Mustangs and Volkswagens, not Mini Coopers.
Speaker CAnd turns out it's, like, the highest trim that you can get.
Speaker CI've gotten a lot of compliments on it so far.
Speaker BDoes it have the British flag on the top?
Speaker BTop?
Speaker CIt doesn't have it on the top, but it has it on the mirrors and on the tail lights.
Speaker CI'm obsessed.
Speaker CIts name is Archie, by the way.
Speaker AArchie, you're gonna take pictures and put it in our discord?
Speaker CYeah, I will.
Speaker CI will.
Speaker CMom, our youngest said, we absolutely can only listen to the Beatles in this miracle.
Speaker CAnd then she's saying, like, God save the queen hummed a little, like Beethoven or whatever.
Speaker CI don't know.
Speaker CShe was, she was getting very into it.
Speaker CYou should see her at Epcot when we switch from France to England.
Speaker CGame over.
Speaker CShe goes full British accent.
Speaker CSo we're very excited about it.
Speaker AI, I, I want a new car, Sarah.
Speaker ALike mine, none of the windows roll up or down anymore.
Speaker ALike, I have to.
Speaker AI'm coming in through the security gate.
Speaker AI have to, like, manually with my hand roll down my windows.
Speaker AI've got a piece of trim that fell off.
Speaker AAnd because my rent, my windows were.
Speaker AWon't roll all the way up.
Speaker AI can't run it through the car wash.
Speaker ASo there's, like, green mildew, like, growing on the side.
Speaker ALike, it's a white car with all these green mildew stains on the side of the car.
Speaker ABut the problem is, I go ahead.
Speaker CI bought mine Wednesday.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CNight.
Speaker CAnd Lewis and I were looking at it today, and we're like, we gotta wash that.
Speaker CWe're gonna start washing it tomorrow.
Speaker CLike, yeah, detail all that.
Speaker ASo.
Speaker ABut I, I can't get a new car because, like, like a year ago, I got a whole brand new engine because, like, there was three different recalled parts.
Speaker AAnd, like, oh, yeah, you get a brand new engine.
Speaker ASo it's basically like a brand new car in the inside.
Speaker ALike, I just got an oil change the other day, and the guy's like, oh, you probably only have, like, what, 40, 000 miles on there.
Speaker AI'm like, no, try like 110.
Speaker AAnd he's like, damn, you take good care of it.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, does it look like I take good care of it?
Speaker ANo, they built.
Speaker AI got a brand new engine.
Speaker AThe recall.
Speaker CDid you have to pay for that brand new engine?
Speaker ANo, it was a recall.
Speaker AIt was a factory recall.
Speaker CFree it.
Speaker CSo then what's.
Speaker AThat's what I'm saying.
Speaker AI can't trade it.
Speaker ALike, it's paid off, and it's basically a brand new car on the inside.
Speaker BThat's a.
Speaker BYou're like the complete opposite.
Speaker AExactly.
Speaker AExactly.
Speaker AAll right, you guys ready to play?
Speaker AJersey man.
Speaker AFlorida man.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker DYeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker AStep inside the ring.
Speaker AHe's flying in the game from Carolina streets where nobody knows his name.
Speaker AHolston, Jersey, Florida, man He can't read a book but don't you judge him by his cover Take a closer look.
Speaker AHomeless in appearance but he's sharper than attack he's quick on his feet got no burden on his back With a mic in hand he'll make you laugh out loud Game master Ryan is ready to wow the crowd.
Speaker AHey.
Speaker BHey.
Speaker ARyan's here to play.
Speaker ASwagger in each step lighting up today.
Speaker AEvery week, game master Ryan brings us two news stories.
Speaker AOne is from Jersey, one is from Florida.
Speaker AIt is up to us to determine which one is which.
Speaker ATake it away, Ryan.
Speaker EHey, guys.
Speaker EThis is Ryan from the parents Night out news team.
Speaker EAnd here is the news I found this week.
Speaker EA man in Wisconsin is accused of putting super glue on a co worker's drink.
Speaker EThe man admitted to the crime and said he did it because the woman talked too much.
Speaker EMaybe Scott's doing this to Sarah.
Speaker EDid you know Scott's favorite princess is Sleeping Beauty?
Speaker EHe's always talking about how women should be seen and not heard at first time.
Speaker EMom is defending herself after she shared a Travel hack on TikTok where she lets her 5 month old son sleep in the shower during vacations.
Speaker EI should probably explain, Chris.
Speaker EA shower is what?
Speaker EThey don't smell bad and don't look like they brushed their hair with a stick of butter.
Speaker EA mail carrier in Massachusetts was caught on video when he was harassed by three turkeys as they chased him through several stops.
Speaker EWe have audio of the interaction.
Speaker EI'm sorry, I'm being told that's the wrong audio.
Speaker EThat's audio of Scott interacting with minorities in his neighborhood.
Speaker EA preacher is in trouble after he locked his congregation in the church church holding them hostage until they donated $40,000.
Speaker EThe choir boys in the church said this reminds them of Uncle Got's basement.
Speaker EThis creature is also known because he performed at Diddy's 50th birthday party, which I think Scott attended.
Speaker EAnd In Georgia, a 67 year old woman had wrecked her car after the accident.
Speaker EShe had left the scene to go seek help only to end up falling down a well.
Speaker EPolice say they were alerted to this incident by a beautiful border collie.
Speaker EAnyways, let's get into this week's Florida man and New Jersey man stories.
Speaker EAnd for our first story, a man is arrested for battery after he is refused a free refill.
Speaker EAnd for our second story, police officers settle for $2.4 million over alleged sex toy harassment.
Speaker AAll right, so we've got refused refill or sex toy harassment.
Speaker ANick, what do you think?
Speaker DI feel like sex toys is a Florida thing.
Speaker AAll right, Chris.
Speaker DIt might be New Jersey.
Speaker DChris used one last week.
Speaker BI think the Florida one could be Scott at 7:11.
Speaker BSo I'm gonna go.
Speaker BSo I'm gonna give Florida.
Speaker CSarah, I'm gonna agree with Chris.
Speaker CFlorida refill?
Speaker AYeah, I.
Speaker AI'm also agreeing refill.
Speaker AI would get Violent if I couldn't get my refill and sex toy New Jersey.
Speaker ALet's find out the answer.
Speaker ESo our first story is from Florida, where a man in Clearwater bought a drink from a child's lemonade stand, drank the drink in front of the kids, and then demanded a refill.
Speaker EHe then became angry when he was not allowed to refill his cup.
Speaker EHe then got in an argument with one of the parents of the children, grabbing them and taking a fighting stance, whatever that means, and threatened to beat her up.
Speaker ELuckily, we do know that this was not Scott because he is not allowed within 50 yards of a lemonade stand after what happened last time.
Speaker ESo that means.
Speaker EOur second story is from New Jersey, where police settle for $2.4 million over an alleged sex toy harassment.
Speaker EThe lawsuit states that the former chief of the police station created a hostile work environment, often harassing other police officers, and a sexual nature.
Speaker EAccording to the lawsuit, Big Blue is the name of the sex toy that the chief kept in his desk drawer, and he would subject other officers to it almost on a daily basis.
Speaker EThe chief would wave Big Blue around and throw it in the detective bureau and throw it at people walking past.
Speaker EOne officer said that they saw Big Blue in a coffee mug, removed it, and then threw it into the garbage.
Speaker EApparently, the chief also had a practice of taking his flashlight and ramming it into the anus area of other male officers while at the police station, as the officers had their backs turned to him.
Speaker EWell, after hearing all that, I'm sure Nick is currently filling out paperwork to join the police academy as we speak.
Speaker EAnyways, that's it for me this week, guys.
Speaker EBack to you.
Speaker AThank you so much, Ryan.
Speaker AYou know, I gotta tell you, I, my wife made fun of me because I, I, I go into 711 to get my, my Diet Coke.
Speaker ABut I have a second 7 11, a backup 7 11, if you will.
Speaker ABut I always go to this, like, I get really grumpy.
Speaker AIt will ruin my day if I cannot get Diet Coke from my first 7 11, because, you know, I don't smoke in my car.
Speaker ASo I go to 711 and I, and I get the, the Diet Coke and then, and I'll smoke in the parking lot.
Speaker ABut if I have to go to the second seven eleven now, I'm waiting.
Speaker ASo it's longer.
Speaker AIt's just a whole thing.
Speaker ABut I get very grumpy if there's no and I will be passive aggressive as, like, well, we have Coke Zero.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, okay, I could just rob you now.
Speaker BThen that's not passive at all.
Speaker AIt sucks.
Speaker AIt, it, it.
Speaker AI'm.
Speaker AI am such a creature of habit, Chris.
Speaker AI'm so like, routine that any variation from that routine, like, of my work day, will throw me off.
Speaker ALike, the other day I forgot my work phone at home.
Speaker AAnd like, that has all of my contacts in it.
Speaker ALike, that's my lifeline.
Speaker AAnd it.
Speaker AIt ruined the next 20.
Speaker AIt took me 24 hours to recover from that.
Speaker AAnd I called Darren.
Speaker AI woke up Darren.
Speaker AThis is like, I'm.
Speaker AI'm.
Speaker AIt's 6:00 in the morning.
Speaker AI woke up Darren, who had worked till like midnight the night before.
Speaker AI'm like, hey, bro, I need you to get in the car and bring me my phone.
Speaker BOh, my God.
Speaker ASo I was only without my phone for an hour and 15 minutes, but it threw off my whole day.
Speaker AIt was the worst.
Speaker AGod, he said.
Speaker AHe said, you're pretty much Paul Heymon.
Speaker DNow.
Speaker AYou owe me a favor.
Speaker AHey, Chris Scott, you got any Cliff Notes?
Speaker BI do, and those are my.
Speaker BAnd those are like.
Speaker AThe hut crawls from the shadows Grin and wide and leather and rust he sells chaos hidden and wears in stuff that we trust he stacks his secrets high in the dark with treasures dripping.
Speaker BIn grime So I don't know if you guys saw this in the news, but a biotech company brought back an extinct animal.
Speaker BDid you guys actually see this?
Speaker AYeah, the.
Speaker AThe Shire wolf or something.
Speaker ADire wolf from Game of Thrones.
Speaker BThe big.
Speaker BThe big funny thing about that, that was that we brought back.
Speaker BThey brought back a literal direwolf before the last book was published of Game of Thrones.
Speaker BAnyway, so after, after, for those of you who don't know, after 10,000 years, they brought a direwolf back to life.
Speaker BThree of them, actually.
Speaker BNow, after hearing they could bring things back from the dead, Scott called them to inquire about his sex life.
Speaker ANot after we lost all that money in the stock market.
Speaker AShe won't have so stressed out.
Speaker AOut.
Speaker BShouldn't have sold.
Speaker BScott accidentally name dropped Sarah instead of his wife before making some crude remarks.
Speaker BBefore I knew it was a mistake, I thought you were gonna have to fire him from the show.
Speaker ASorry, that was a slow burn.
Speaker AThat was good.
Speaker AThat's.
Speaker AThat's one that only a few of us are gonna understand.
Speaker ABut that was brilliant.
Speaker BNick said that kickball was canceled this week because of some rain.
Speaker BFun fact.
Speaker BThat's the first time getting wet ever prevented him from doing anything.
Speaker ATrue.
Speaker BScott tried to explain Epic Universe to us, like the.
Speaker BThe lore behind it, none of us understood.
Speaker BThe only thing more confusing is my sexuality.
Speaker BWhen I'm with Nick, Nick talked about popping an edible and going down Rainbow Road.
Speaker BNow that is something totally different in the gay community.
Speaker BSpoiler alert, it's my tank.
Speaker BAnd lastly, Sarah talked about how she took her car to get a free oil change.
Speaker BShe walked out buying a brand new car.
Speaker BSarah, you are the worst Jew ever.
Speaker CNo, my payments went down.
Speaker BYeah, you redeemed yourself.
Speaker BFinancial decision and those in my clip notes.
Speaker AThank you so much, Chris.
Speaker ADoes anybody have anything exciting going on with their kids this week?
Speaker DI'm being a single parent this week.
Speaker DMy husband is out of town until Saturday, so send help.
Speaker BWe do have to go around and do our landed land acknowledgments.
Speaker BSo I acknowledge the land on which I gather as part of the lenapehoking, the traditional territory of the Lenny Lenape people.
Speaker BWe honor the Lenny Lenape people as the original stewards of this land that recogn enduring presence and sovereignty.
Speaker BWe pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and to all indigenous people who continue to care for this land today.
Speaker BNow, Scott, go ahead.
Speaker AWhat just happened?
Speaker AWhat am I supposed to do?
Speaker BOur land acknowledgments.
Speaker BFor the Native Americans who graced the land before us that we stole, we.
Speaker AAcknowledge that the land we are on is traditional, ancestral, and stolen land of Indigenous peoples who have have stewarded it for generations.
Speaker AWe recognize the injustices of colonization and the harm inflicted on the Native communities.
Speaker AHarm that continues today.
Speaker AThis acknowledgment is not a suitable for action, but a starting point for reflection, education, and a commitment to supporting indigenous sovereignty and equal equity.
Speaker AWe honor the people whose land we occupy, and we commit to learning from and standing with Indigenous communities in the ongoing fight for justice.
Speaker BThat was disgustingly unspecific, but for the SEM Indian tribe.
Speaker BThank you.
Speaker BThere we go.
Speaker COkay, Sarah, I'm from the same land as you.
Speaker AOh, okay.
Speaker AWe acknowledge together.
Speaker BYeah, I told Jorb in the last 15 minutes of our podcast.
Speaker BWe do do land acknowledgments every.
Speaker BOkay, gotcha this every week.
Speaker AOkay, well, I will be better prepared next week.
Speaker ASorry, my dog ate my computer.
Speaker ASo this week.
Speaker ATomorrow I'm going to Epic Universe with two out of my three kids.
Speaker AThe other one.
Speaker BIs it your two favorites?
Speaker AI don't want to answer that.
Speaker BIt's fair.
Speaker DAre they your favorites this week?
Speaker AI.
Speaker ANo.
Speaker AI actually feel terrible.
Speaker AYou know, Abby did not get the grades that she needed.
Speaker BOh.
Speaker AAnd I feel awful to the point where I was gonna, but, like, I didn't take any of her theater stuff away.
Speaker AShe gets to go on her Epcot field trip.
Speaker AShe got to go see Mean Girls the Musical.
Speaker ASo, like, she's got to do all this stuff and no consequences for the Deez.
Speaker ASo it sucks.
Speaker AI feel terrible.
Speaker AAnyway, Nick, where can our listeners find you?
Speaker DYou can find me on all social media platforms at Sandpiper Vacations, as well as at.
Speaker DAt Emotional Support Gay Nick for just a daily life journey with me and my health.
Speaker CSarah, you can find me on the Tik tok at Super Sarah 94.
Speaker AChris.
Speaker BYou can find me at Chris Y.
Speaker AOn Instagram, Redbeard, everything Disney verse, D I Z N A Y V R S E.
Speaker AAnd you can connect with all of us.
Speaker AJust go to our website, nonie friends podcast.com while you're there, check out our really sweet merchandise, join our clubhouse, become a Patreon member for as low as $2 a month, and have all sorts of exclusive access to cutting room, floor, early release, and any contest that we do.
Speaker AAlso, don't forget to nominate us for Orlando Weekly's Best of Orlando competitions under the category Local Notables, Best Local Podcast.
Speaker AThat's Parents Night out with no new friends.
Speaker AThat's at www.vote.orlandoweekly.com.
Speaker Aand somehow now Red Remy's already nominated, so we're.
Speaker AWe're behind him, I guess.
Speaker ABut please do that for us.
Speaker AIt would really mean a lot.
Speaker AOn behalf of game master Ryan, our producer, Redbeard Nick.
Speaker ASarah, Chris.
Speaker AI'm Scott.
Speaker AThank you so much for listening.
Speaker AWe'll see you next time.
Speaker ASee you later, Poopy Bus, Scott, Chris, Sarah, and naked tale to be told.
Speaker AWelcome to the podcast where adulting unfolds.
Speaker AWe're adulting unfolds we're adulting unfolds.