188: 3 biggest mistakes

ambitious women make when

trying to slow down & how it

creates nervous system burnout

[00:00:00] You built your business, you've built momentum, but at what

cost? Maybe you struggle to get to sleep at night or you end the day

feeling like you still have a thousand things to do and everyone around

you is telling you, Oh, babe, have you thought about like taking a break

or slowing down?

Here's the thing, recovering from burnout, reconnecting back to your

values and your passion and building a business that's sustainable and

easeful, where you get to go and have a whole life a part of it. It's not

about slowing down. That's not going to work today. I'm going to look at

three really common mistakes and ambitious women make when they

try to slow down from a nervous system perspective.

We're going to cover how to work with [00:01:00] that urge inside of your

body that you want to do everything. And you know that you can instead

of against it. And by the end of the episode, you'll have a very practical

tool that you can use today to bring more ease into your work day. And

Maintain your drive, but also start to feel softer in your relationships or

your social circle or your health.

If you don't have time to listen to the end of the episode, here's mistakes

one, two, and three. And then I will explain them one by one. If you stick

around to the end, you will find a.

Short 60 seconds snippet on what to do when it feels like you're pushing

and why that is actually maybe your growing space

as well as an invitation to the academy. Where we go beyond traditional

advice, like just slow down and actually reorient your nervous system.

For more success so that you can scale your business, [00:02:00] make

more money, leave with purpose and confidence without burning out. So

mistakes, one, two, and three.

Number one, thinking that working harder will make you feel safer.

Thinking that if you take all the things off of your to do list, it will make

you achieve some deep sense of safety and everything's under control.

Number two, thinking that you just need to be more disciplined. This one

is not going to work, especially if you are neurodivergent, but people will

tell you that it will.

Mistake number three, trying to think and analyze and plan. Um, and I'm

going to be talking about how you can get out of your overwhelm. Now,

let's go through them all a little bit deeper and say number one thinking

that working harder will make you feel safer. One of the biggest lies that

we have been conditioned into as individuals is that if we work harder,

finish the to do list, like figure it out, get things done, we'll actually reach

that space where we can breathe.

If you've ever thought [00:03:00] once I've hit 10k months, I will feel

more relaxed. Or once my calendar is fully booked, I'll feel secure.

Or if I could just figure out the perfect way to make sure that I get

everything done every day that I need to do, then it'll be easier to sleep

at night. That moment never comes. And that's because finding ease

and sustainable success, it's not about getting it all done or getting the

right things done.

It's actually about the way that your body processes and understands.

Pressure, responsibility, and stress. So, if when you were a kid, like so

many of us, you were told that you were a really good girl, and you did a

really good job when you completed all of your assessments, and you

got your homework planned in, and you went and you did things that

were really productive, And then you were rewarded for that, right, with

[00:04:00] money and, and praise, then slowing down will actually feel

really dangerous, particularly if maybe you come from a background like

me where there's financial trauma and you actually kind of just had to

like figure things out and get stuff done to avoid really big pain, or maybe

you're just running from your feelings.

That's a different podcast episode, but on some level your body is

perceiving that getting things done will keep you safe And slowing down

will feel dangerous not because you need to keep working because

there's something that actually is urgent, but because your body

associates rest with losing momentum Missing opportunities, falling

behind, and danger.

This is why when you force yourself to relax, or when you're already in

that overdrive, it just never works. You never get that deep sense of

nourishment. In fact, that [00:05:00] deep like, Oh yeah, I'm so

nourished. You may not even know what I'm referring to when I say that.

Because your brain, even if you're sitting and you're relaxing, you took

the time off, is still scanning for threats.

And your body is still flooded with stress hormones. So what do we do

instead? Instead of forcing yourself to slow down, focus on creating what

we call embodied safety. While both working and doing less, your

nervous system needs proof that you can pause without losing

everything that you've worked for.

It needs proof that it's safe to feel that deep nourishment. And it may

even need support in learning how to create embodied safety in the

body. That's something that most nervous systems need because we

live in a world where we haven't quite learned it. At the Academy, one of

the very first things you learn is creating that sense of embodied safety

so that you can find that and then you get to decide what [00:06:00]

doing less looks like in different seasons of your life, but you're still

feeling that deep sense of nourishment so that you're calm.

Instead of chaotic. Mistake number two, thinking you just need more

discipline. Okay, so raise your hand if you have ever told yourself, I just

need to like, be more disciplined, just get up in the morning and do the

thing. Yeah, I actually like, I, I I literally follow a coach on Instagram and

she's like the discipline coach and sometimes I, I think she's great and

sometimes I feel like, Oh, maybe I need discipline and I'm like, no, sorry,

I didn't, you, you literally know that that is not the case.

Here's the thing, the most successful people you see, the ones who

seem to show up effortlessly every day and do everything with ease and

they're like achieving all of your goals and you really admire them and

they, you know, they stick to their schedules without overthinking. They

are not more disciplined with you.

They have figured out how to work with their nervous system. [00:07:00]

And most of them don't even realize that they've done it because

discipline is not about willpower. It's not even about habits sometimes.

Maybe it is, but. It's actually about the state that your body is in. If you

are constantly jumping in between motivation and burnout, it's not

because you are inconsistent.

It's because your nervous system hasn't learned how to sustain energy

in a way that actually works for you, and you haven't learned how to

align the tasks that you want to do with your nervous system's energy.

So, instead of trying to force consistency, learn how to understand how

energy moves through your body. regulate it and then orient it. I have a

group program at the moment that we're working with and we're working

with female energy, [00:08:00] like menstruation energy. One of my

clients recently put inside of the group portal, she's like, number one, my

digestion is so my digestion is so much better.

Yay for that. And number two, I'm figuring out how to use my ovulation

energy. And I'm noticing that I'm getting a lot more done and I'm

sleeping better. That is a win.

So at the Academy, We focus on channeling this energy in sustainable

ways, not giving you a rigid schedule that makes you feel like you have a

nine to five and a boss. We teach you how to create a business flow that

matches your actual energy patterns so that you stop burning out and

start building consistency without force.

Mistake number three, trying to think your way out of overwhelm. Hell,

this is also me. What a surprise. But like, We are thinkers, we are

planners, we are analyzers, we are strategizers, we try to figure things

[00:09:00] out and we're really good at it. But because it's our tendency

and because it's probably one of our strengths, we need to be careful.

Because if you are in a fight or a flight response or in a type of

particularly those, but any type of dysregulation, it's really easy to

intellectualize your feelings and think about it. I wrote about this inside of

my book, somatic intelligence for success. And whenever somebody

gets to that paragraph, so often they will like send me a screenshot and

be like, I feel really cold out over thinking, thinking about it, planning

about it, thinking about the future, thinking about how you're going to do

it.

It's, it's a stress response. It's your body looping on decisions,

questioning, To avoid feeling something uncomfortable inside your body

will give you thoughts that you need a better plan because your body

either doesn't feel safe enough to feel the feeling that you have inside of

your body or to take action.

This is why trying to [00:10:00] solve your burnout by tweaking your to

do list or planning a holiday to Bali or organizing your calendar or

learning a new productivity hack. It really works. If your body is in

survival mode, your brain will keep spinning in circles. So what do we do

instead? Instead of trying to think your way out of it, I would feel it.

So literally just feel it. What is inside of your body right now? Take a

deep breath in

and then just exhale with me.

Okay, now what sensation is in your body? You don't have to stop

anything that you're doing, but what is here? Ah, I, I notice anticipation. I,

I'm excited. I can feel it in my belly and there's like a little bit of tension

inside of my pelvic floor. So I could just maybe soften that. Take a big

inhale with me.

Let's do it together. And then we're going to purse our lips like we're

exhaling through a straw. Just exhale.

Okay. [00:11:00] Now what's closer? What's steeper? I have fear. I have

a really big week and I'm feeling a little bit afraid about it. It's soft, but it's

just whispering. They're safe. There's space for it, but I have a little bit of

fear. And so when you learn how to feel those feelings, we teach this

inside of the academy, you don't spend so much time planning.

And you actually begin to notice that things unfold with flow without

being overwhelmed by those feelings. So you can still be and do those

things, but you can say, Oh, well there's like a little bit of anticipation.

There's a little bit of fear. There's a little bit of gratitude and there's space

for it all.

So if you've been thinking and listening and thinking, Oh, well that's me

and that's what I need. Then consider joining the Academy. The

Academy, as I said, we go beyond mindset. We go beyond just business

and [00:12:00] we reorient your nervous system for more success. One

that is sustainable so that you can scale your business.

Know that what you're doing is making an impact and is purposeful.

Make more money and then lead with confidence out burning out. Doors

are open now. Click the link in the show notes to learn about it and

schedule a call with me to make sure that you are the perfect fit and pick

the tier for you.

Success should not feel like survival mode. It should feel like ease. Join

us in the academy. Okay, and 60 seconds to talk about misalignment

and FOSS.

[00:13:00]