Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian in Virginia, it's so hard to tell who to cho and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose who's win, which.

Hello.

Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing reviews.

That is a very chipper Chelsey Donn,

and that is a moderately chipper Trey Gerrald.

But together we balance it out and we are

the review queens.

That's right.

And speaking about balance, Trey here at Review, that Review,

we do believe in balance, the good, the bad, and the kvetchy.

So it's only fair that we take a moment to vetch it out.

Would you like to a complaint?

Why?

Yes, I would.

Okay.

This is gonna be a twofold complaint because okay.

It goes left ready and it goes right.

Okay.

Today I need to lodge a complaint

against left and

right turn lights.

So when you are at a stoplight,

okay,

and you need to turn left, yes.

That sometimes has different configurations of timing, right?

My complaint is.

When you are the first car and there are cars behind you,

you can't be multitasking.

You need to be paying attention.

You need to be like pressing the gas pedal as soon as it turns green.

You have the largest responsibility in the domino scenario, and I recognize like we

are busy, we're doing things, but it is illegal to be on your cell phone, right.

Now cell phones connect to the car.

So you can be looking at like the monitor in your car.

Right.

Okay, great.

But as soon as this way traffic stops

mm-hmm.

You should

be aware that you're gonna be next.

Nothing drives me crazier than like 1, 2, 3 seconds going by.

'cause at that point I'm doing this.

If you're just listening, I, I'm like, I'm hovering about pushing the horn.

I'm afraid to honk.

I have the thing about I'm afraid to honk.

I am outrageously road ragey, like my husband will tell you.

It's like we'll be in a conversation and I'm instantly like, scream,

cussing, but I, I don't wanna be killed.

So I have like an issue of confrontation.

Right.

So as the two, three seconds are go, it's like, do, do.

Okay.

So if you are first in a left turn light, just please freaking pay attention.

Just focus you.

As Ellen DeGeneres once said, if something requires both hands to do it, your brain

should probably be involved as well.

Mm.

Okay.

She's problematic, but whatever.

Okay.

I need to complain about the right turn lane.

Okay.

Because it's the same situation if you were the first in a series of cars,

especially when you're in metropol areas where there are, um, crosswalks.

For some reason the turn lane and the walking sometimes happen at the same time,

which literally makes no sense to me.

It happens with left learn as well.

Two days ago, I was the second car, the woman in front of me.

Was looking down the light turned green turn lane.

Okay.

So I went, honk.

This branch didn't even look up.

I saw her head, her head like this.

So I went, honk, honk.

She didn't look up.

So then I go honk.

She didn't look up the turn lane turned yellow and I went, are you kidding me?

And then it went away.

We missed the entire turn light and this branch didn't look

up at honk, honk, honk, honk.

She never looked up.

Oh my God.

That's how important her cell phone is to her.

How do you, I, anytime I hear a honk, I go, oh, Jesus.

She didn't even look up.

And I was passive aggressive and I went, Aw, she didn't even look.

We missed the turn light.

Yeah.

I'm so angry.

I'm in an angry phase of life, I guess.

'cause these complaints are really severe to me.

They're not like silly to me anymore.

They're actually really angry, and then I get so angry as I'm reliving them.

That's my complaint.

Chelsey, can you make me feel better?

I think I can.

I mean, I totally hear you.

I totally validate that experience.

I always tell everyone, driving is a team sport.

Even when I'm driving my niece and nephews, I'm like,

guys, don't be this person.

Driving is a team sport.

If you're first in line, you gotta be alert.

You have a job, you have a job.

You gotta do it.

It makes me so heated.

I get it.

It's, it's a very good complaint.

I can't believe we haven't done this before.

This is something that bothers me.

Definitely weekly.

And when you have a good person in the front, you're like, yeah,

that person knows what's up.

Yeah.

That's a Royal Highness induction.

That's

a royal highness.

Like that person gets it,

but like missing the light entirely is wild.

Why Joel and,

and like definitely infuriating.

And then I saw her head pop up when it wasn't there anymore.

So didn't even know she was

probably on TikTok or some shit.

She

didn't even know.

No, she didn't know.

So she shouldn't be behind the wheel know.

No, I agree.

That's my co player.

There should

be like a test for the DMV where they take away your phone for like an hour

and see how like wake down you can get

if you bus Yeah,

yeah.

If you could bust, you don't have a license.

All right.

Great complaint, Trey.

Love that.

Thank you for holding

the space for me.

Anytime.

I'll, I'll give you a little crystal moment.

I'm gonna remove all that negative energy.

Take a deep breath and should we move on the, let's

do it.

But before we do.

Hello.

If you're watching us on YouTube, we do as a quick solid.

It's very quick and easy.

It's not that hard for you and it's very meaningful for us.

Will just please click, subscribe, click, click, click, click.

Just click subscribe.

Give us a thumbs up.

Will you please leave a comment?

Thank you.

Yes.

We always love hearing from you.

Comment why.

All right, well, let's do the show.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Review that review.

I am angry.

I'm angry.

I don't know why I'm so angry about it.

I have to let it go.

As your trustee review Queens, we bring in internet reviews that

we feel need to be inspected.

We read a review, we break it down together.

We rate the impact of that review on a scale from zero to five crowns.

It's a very regal process that Chelsey and I have coined, and

that is called Assess that.

That's right.

Now Miss Chelsey Goose, what have you brought in for us today?

I'll try.

I just, I had a little psychic intuition that maybe you needed to relax a little

bit, you know, and you've been tense.

I've been feeling this from you, and I know what makes me feel

better when I'm tense is presence.

I love presence, opening presence, so.

Did you happen to get something in the mail?

You know, like maybe I forgot your birthday on live on the

show, and I, I felt like I needed to send you a little something.

Did you get it?

Is it maybe this giant box that I have next to me?

It's that.

Would you like to open it?

And while you open it, yes, I will do this.

Is this a grandma shake?

Nope.

Oh, the birthday song.

Happy birthday.

A little happy.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

A little happy.

All right.

He's opening it.

It's happening.

Here we go.

Here we go.

More

packaging.

More packaging.

Oh, it's wrapped because she went for the upgrade.

Look at that.

It's like in Santa's pouch.

It's

very tall.

Um.

It is very funny 'cause it's May 21st and my birthday was March 14th, but

we record early, so that's May 21st

is my sister's birthday, so it still sort of works.

Let's say that

she ain't got nothing to to do with me.

This is about me.

Okay.

Yeah, this is about you.

Just

kidding, Lindsay.

Okay, you just say your sister or your sister-in-law?

My sister.

Okay.

Yeah.

Happy birthday.

RQT.

I'm forever grateful to have you in my life.

Hope this year brings you all you want and more.

Love you from RQC.

That's me.

Such beautiful handwriting.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, I've been taking calligraphy classes.

Woo.

All right.

So it's a big, like green bushel, like a Santa Sack, and Trey is gonna open it

and see this has been here a while.

Yes.

I think you could use it.

I'll just say that.

Tissue, tissue, tissue paper.

Just kidding.

Okay.

What is it?

What could it be?

Tray?

I If it's like a massage thingy.

Oh, is that what you're wondering?

My god, I've seen these.

I've wanted these.

Oh, you down on your neck?

Yes.

Do you wanna describe it?

Okay.

Anyone that's just listening, this is a very sleek black

box that says neck massager.

And then on the other side there's a beautiful image.

These are, it's like, looks like it's leatherette and it's like you put

it over your shoulders and then it goes, you loop your hands through.

Um, it says high quality leather.

Oh, high quality leather.

Mm-hmm.

Vehicle charging.

No, you can put this in your car.

Fine zipper, breathable mesh.

It must be provided in the trip.

Oh, oh.

So the full title of this product is Air Laying Shiatsu Back and

Neck Massager, back Massager, deep Tissue Kneading Massager, neck

and Shoulder Massager with Heat.

Electric four D massage pillow, father's Day dad, gifts

from daughter, not cordless.

So that's why I did ask Trey before we recorded if he had an outlet.

It's super coloristic.

Okay.

So does it have to be in the car though?

No.

No.

Probably just as a car adopter.

Oh, yep.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank God.

I was like, what?

No.

Okay.

Happy.

Happy birthday.

Little late.

Sorry.

Happy, happy

birthday my head again.

Okay, there we

go.

I know, it's, it's just, you know, should

I like plug it in while we do the review?

So

this is my thinking.

I would like you to sit back, relax, and get a massage while I read this

review that was written by Jacqueline.

W that way as I read this five star review mm-hmm.

In real time.

That was just from a few months ago.

You can tell me if you agree at the end of the review.

When we go ahead and review Jacqueline W's review it, give tries.

To plug it in,

like in a good way.

Like, it's like, um, it's, it doesn't feel like, it doesn't feel cheap.

Yeah.

It's like, uh, it seems substantial.

Irey feels very like Brook

Stoney to me.

Yeah.

Right.

Wait,

is it hard to figure out how to use it?

Do you have to put your arms through it?

To like, oh,

yes, you do.

Yeah, the

pressure.

I've definitely played with these before, like, oh, great.

At a store.

Hold on, let me just plug it in.

Hold on.

Okay, here it goes.

See how

to put your arms there.

Okay.

Plug it in.

You know what I remember now, it's when we went to Costa Rica at the wellness

center, they had these like in the waiting room, like in all the chairs.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm gonna turn it on.

Well get ready to enjoy yourself.

Are you on?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, great.

So this review was written by Jacqueline W. As I said, it's a five star review.

Trey's mouth is already a gate.

The title of the review is Ong Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager Colon.

My new best friend, sorry, family.

Okay, here we go.

So I didn't think an electric needing massager pillow would change my life.

But after a week with the air long shiatsu massager, I'm questioning if I need any

other form of relaxation in my life.

It is basically a heated deep tissue wizard in a weirdly comfortable pillow.

Here's the scoop on my journey to massage Bliss.

First encounter colon.

That looks right.

When I took it outta the box, I thought this thing looks intense.

But once I figured it out, and those little four D

massage balls started moving.

I was convinced it had come from the future to save my back.

The first time it hit my shoulders, I made a noise that only my

pets have ever heard me make.

I'd apologized to them, but they're getting over it.

Operation Colon, not cordless.

Adventures.

All right.

It's not cordless.

I know this, but every now and then I. Stand up with it attached.

Forget there's a cord and nearly yank the thing outta the wall.

It's a battle between my brain and these magic massage hands.

The massage hands are winning benefits.

One kneading that knows no mercy.

It's like having a personal masseuse who has no reservations.

About getting those knots out.

I'm not saying it's gentle, but I am saying it's effective.

Two.

Heat for the wind colon, the heat is heavenly, especially after a long day.

It's like someone said, what if a pillow could give you a hug and then

did one better with warmth and rolling fists, three multiple body parts.

My neck, shoulders back, basically anywhere can fit this thing.

I'm massaging it.

I even tried it on my calves and yeah, that's probably my

new favorite drawbacks colon.

The only real drawback here is the look of judgment I get from my family as I sit

there and blissful silence with this thing draped over me like it's the best friend

I never knew I needed, but honestly, if they tried it, they'd understand

and no, I don't plan on sharing.

Final verdict.

The Airlink Shiatsu massager isn't just a gadget, it's a lifestyle.

If you're ready to commit to an electric pillow that loves your back as much as

you do, buy it, just don't forget it's plugged in when you go wandering around.

All right.

How you doing, Tre?

Do you feel a little more relaxed?

I didn't hear any of that.

Ooh.

That's good.

That says it all.

Do you see the heat?

Yeah, I see it.

It's like red.

How does it feel?

It actually, it's interesting 'cause it is like hard, like in a good way.

Like, okay.

Sometimes I feel like these massaging things are sort of like,

like weak?

Yeah.

Like little.

Yeah.

Like, and the rotating balls are like.

Hard and large.

So it is like, it does feel like it's like working.

Are there different

modes?

'cause Jacqueline didn't talk about that.

Like can you make it more intense or less intense or That's

so I was reading the instructions in there.

Okay.

Because it says you can change the direction.

Okay.

It says

there's three total speeds of intensity.

Okay.

So there are,

yeah.

I'm so happy.

Oh yeah.

Now it's really fast.

There you go.

I'm so happy that you love it.

Like Jacqueline,

first off, off the bat, I feel like the arm length is a little awkward.

Yeah, when I'm seeing, when I'm seeing you wearing that, um, I'm like, oh, maybe

that wouldn't even fit around my arms.

Like, it's like, it feels, it's kind of short.

It feels like I'm like a dangling little kid

and it doesn't really look like that.

In the picture of it, it really looks like she's just like very naturally.

I guess her elbows are beed, but

yeah, I would say they're just, the only negative I'm experiencing is

it's a, i I feel like I have a lot of tension in my forearms because

yes, I'm, I'm not in a natural.

What if

you crossed your arms like this?

I mean, I don't know if you could record like this.

You

know what I'll say?

It is really nice actually, especially changing the speed just then too.

Like it actually is massaging me.

It doesn't feel like stupid.

Have you gotten a pedicure and sat in one of those pedicures?

Better?

It's

better than that.

'cause I feel like it's better.

I feel like pedicure chairs are like, they're kind of weak and

they're also just sort of like, like it's not, does this really

feel like hands, like massaging you?

It feels electronic, but Okay.

It feel, it feels like, I don't know how to describe it.

It feels like multiple balls operating on different A accesses, so it.

It does feel like I actually really do like this.

Are you in Massage Bliss?

What'd you say?

I don't even know what I'm saying right now.

Ooh, I'm gonna try the lower.

That

is the heat.

Is the heat for the win.

Like would you say that the heat really helps?

Yeah, I was gonna talk

about the heat because I feel like sometimes heat just makes me sweaty.

Yeah.

But I actually, it does now that I've taken it off.

The heat is like a very nice element.

Yeah.

My main, my main complaint here with, um, Jacqueline, is that her name?

Yeah.

Jacqueline.

Jacqueline.

WI

don't understand this whole conversation about it not being cordless, like in, in

my ex, in my opinion, I don't feel like I'm gonna be like walking around and

doing activities with the expectation that I'm gonna be being massaged.

Like the whole point of being massaged is that I'm staged there.

Is sitting there, right.

I guess, I don't know.

I feel like in today's a DHD world where we're kind of always running

around, at least for me it's like I'd be getting a massage and

I'm like, oh wait, I need water.

And then like I'll get up to go get water and be like, oh shit, I guess

so I can see it happening To me,

I guess I, I, the reason I think it's a complaint for me for a five star is that

I think it's an unnecessary negative.

Okay.

'cause if you think about other massage devices, a massage chair,

a foot massager, it's like you're staying, you gotta be stationary.

Yeah, that's true.

I

see how it would be an added benefit if it was four class.

Right?

I was gonna say, I

think there are some cordless ones that you like charge right There must be.

Right.

So, or like maybe it's also like, oh, what if I wanna sit on my couch, but like my

couch doesn't have an outlet behind it.

So get

an extension cord.

I.

I don't know.

There, I I don't think I hear you.

Hear you.

I'm not buying

it as a complaint.

Okay.

But I think it's valuable.

Yeah.

Because if you do feel like, well, I wanna be massaging my

neck as I'm folding laundry.

Sure.

Like, I don't understand like why you would be exerting energy when

you're trying to get relaxed, but.

Uh, I understand that that would be an added bonus, but if this is such

a five star, I don't think I would include it, but I'm hearing that

that's a distinction that's valuable.

So yeah.

Good job for, and also, like

we've said in the past, the, like o the opposite of a compliment

sandwich, the positivity sandwich.

In a five star review does sort of make me believe Jacqueline A. Little bit more

'cause they're not just a total Pollyanna.

No, I definitely believe them.

Um, I feel like they missed an opportunity at humor when they

said, I. Neck, shoulders and back.

I think we, you even sort of started it.

Kind of, but I just wish Jacqueline had said, my neck, my back, my neck,

my back, my shoulders, my shoulder.

Anywhere I, my shoulder and my anywhere.

Yeah.

Um, yeah.

And also that I'm not sharing, I recognize I relate hardcore.

Really?

Yeah.

Will you not share that with David?

You know, that's why would David and I work well?

'cause he doesn't like massages.

Oh.

What?

Crazy.

It's not his crazy.

It's not his thing.

Interesting.

Okay.

I can tell you more about it on the after show.

All right.

Yeah.

He doesn't like being like, you know, he doesn't need to get a massage.

Me.

Okay.

I could,

I love a massage.

I could lose my

entire retirement massages.

Um, let's love a, love a massage.

Let's talk about the spelling grammar.

Really good, really well organized.

We had a list going.

We're using colons.

We're dividing into sections.

I thought it was like very easy to read, very easy to understand.

I read this or I was like, truth be told, was like, trace seems very stressed.

I want to get him a birthday gift that's gonna make him relax a little bit.

And I came across this product, read this review, click purchase.

So I think it is effective.

It's really well organized.

I think there's a lot of value.

Trey's back in his massage or just enjoy yourself.

Trey, I'll go through the talking points.

That's totally fine.

Well, I'm saying it looks like I'm having a hard time focusing, so I don't

understand getting up and walking around and getting yanked on the wall, but

I've already beat that into the ground.

Well, clearly because Trey is enjoying himself, so, which

please enjoy yourself, queen.

I am gonna go ahead and say that it is common.

Um, definitely seems to be working on.

Trey Tre already mentioned we missed an opportunity from humor.

Impact for me was that I went ahead and clicked purchase impact for Trey is that

he's comatose for the rest of the episode.

So I think that pretty much covers it all.

You know what's interesting,

like from the live review perspective here is like.

Because you can pull down with your arms, like you can adjust, control that.

Yeah.

Um, and it really is that feeling of when you're getting a knot

moved around, like it's a very severe, like in a good way for me.

Yeah.

I like massage to be hard.

Like I can feel it like digging into these knots and, but I don't

like, I like more of like a medium firm, so I would just not pull down as hard.

Exactly.

It's a good conceit.

I do wish it was a little longer.

I really appreciate the live review aspect of this.

You know, uh, assessing of the vetch 'cause I think it's sort

of pointing out to me maybe some holes in Jacqueline's review.

I think I have enough information to crown Jacqueline, what do you think?

Um, yeah, I feel the heat is standout.

The rolling fist I can feel.

I think I could crown Jacqueline.

All right, let's do it.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we'll

simultaneously reveal our ratings.

The queens are tabulating.

Chose the school.

All right.

Trey asked me, Jack on a review.

Queen.

I think it's because he is feeling extra generous with his massage.

I went with four and a half crowns.

Trey, if you feel like you're ready, you can go first.

Why did you make Jacqueline a review queen?

Well, I was, besides the fact that it made me purchase those for you,

I was gonna do four and a half as well.

But then your point about like mentioning the one complaint sort

of makes it feel more trustworthy.

Um, and like I think when you're looking for like a massaging device,

I don't wanna say it like that.

When you're looking for a massager like.

I don't know.

I just feel like the levity, but like, I'm not sharing.

I, you know, it's like, what was their title?

It's like my family, like, I never thought, you know, like they're winking.

Yeah.

My new best

friend, sorry, family.

Right.

It's sort of like there's enough wink wink at like, you know, we're not curing cancer

over here where like getting a massage

Yes.

Strappy thing.

Um, yeah.

And like obviously you bought it and.

I just think when you're in the review section, things can get so haywire

that like I appreciate the clarity, the point of view, the in and out quick

and like it obviously had an impact.

Why did you do a half crown less?

Only because I felt like in your live review today, you gave me information that

Jacqueline didn't give me in her review.

I wish that Jacqueline had just mentioned there's different modes.

If you pull it harder, it will be more intense.

Just like a little bit more information about the product.

Yes, of course I could read the description and I could do all that,

but still at the end of the day, like you wanna know what Jacqueline's

receiving in the mail, including the various ways of using it.

And I feel like Jacqueline could have just dug a teeny bit deeper there

and then for sure would've been a review queen, but obviously nearly a

review Queen made me click purchase.

I think that it's obviously truthful.

Trey is enjoying it.

So

just turned off four

and a half crowns.

Did you turn it off by accident?

No, it has a 10 minute thing.

Oh, okay.

Well, great review and, um, great product.

Thank you for sending it.

Thank you for this.

Of course.

Enjoy.

I feel so much relaxed.

More relaxed.

I'm so happy.

I mean, I know after that vet you were really stressed, so I,

you know, I'm glad we had this.

I

don't even remember.

Ooh, that's right.

All right, queen.

We've aired our grievances.

We've inspected a review.

We've relaxed a little bit, so now let's shine light on something

truly deserving of a crown.

We have reached the most regal portion of our show.

Trey, who are you inducting for?

My royal

line

is, well, this is just very short and simple.

Today, I need us all to take a moment, send positive energy,

throw five crowns, throw five stars to the experience in life.

When you get on an elevator all alone, those doors close.

No one joins you.

You get peace and serenity and these tiny four by four boxes

going up and down in space.

You can just collect your thoughts.

You push the button.

You don't have to worry about smells.

People looking the wrong way.

Have I complained about in the past?

Mm-hmm.

People trying to make small talk and a very small, confined

space just being alone.

Period.

But being alone in an elevator I love you like is really a wonderful thing.

Especially when you like see them running and you're like, Nope, no, no, not that.

Not that.

Just being alone in an elevator.

That's my Royal Highness today.

What a great induction.

So true.

I love when it works out that way.

It sucks when there's like somebody at the last minute that's like, wait, wait.

And you're like, okay, I'm not gonna be a jerk.

But also I thought I would be alone.

That was great.

I love that.

Well,

thank you.

Well, we did a queen that was another round on the R-U-A-R-Q Ferris wheel

of my neck, my shoulders, my back.

Anywhere else I'd choose.

Uh, that's right.

Thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard or saw, please tell a friend

we did not like what you heard or saw.

Please tell an enemy on today's after show pod.

Chelsey and I are gonna be rating and reviewing a three star Amazon review.

For empty spray bottles.

Well, I wonder why.

This

was

said.

Um, let's go back to

Chatty Cathy.

Okay.

Let's go back to, so I'm just saying all that long way around the barn, we, oh

wait, well we got to this by saying not to be ageist and then we

ranted for 10 minutes being ageist.

But this

is the after show we're allowed, this is behind the curtain.

This is what you get if you're here on the after show.

Um, hello.

Anyway, the point is not to be ageist.

But I do think that there is a barrier to entry.

Hmm

hmm.

Wow.

I wonder, I look so much more relaxed in the future.

True.

Please, Queens.

Remember,

ignore the haters.

You're a queen.

Get yourself a massage.

Gender nonspecific queen.

Get yourself a massage.

That's right.

Love you.

Love y'all.

Bye.

Sign up directly on Apple Podcast to hear our weekly members only after show.

Unlock additional benefits when you become a Patreon

member@reviewthatreview.com slash patreon.

Follow us on all the socials at the review queens and join our

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Our kvetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

You never visit, you never write.

Give us a koal.

Now, how

are you feeling?

The heat the longer this has been on the, the heat really is

like intense, a very nice touch.

Oh, okay.

Because

I can see how, you know, it just relaxes the muscles a little bit more.

Yeah.

There you go.

You deserve a try.

It does need a lot harder than I anticipated.

Like in a good way.

Yeah.

Great.

Love this for you.

Oh, well,

we'll

see if I fall asleep

on the after show.

Sit back, relax, and we'll see you over on, uh, the after show on Friday.

Try.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Thanks for watching Queens.

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