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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Acquire the deadly competence to reach any goal, learn to self, motivate, to maximize productivity, and escape the traps of addiction, procrastination, and laziness with personalized coaching from our next guest. Hi, and welcome to the you world order, showcase, podcast where we feature life, health, transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to be the change they seek in the world.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm your host, Jill Hart, the coaches alchemist on a mission to help coaches and entrepreneurs amplify their voice, monetize their mission and get visible leveraging podcasts. And the huge audience over on the Gnostic TV network. Today, we are chatting with Roman Gelperin, who is an author and life coach Roman specializes in elite motivational coaching, and he is also a Montessori school instructor. Welcome to the show, Roman. It's great to have you with us.

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Roman Gelperin: Thank you, Jill, and good to be here.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So we're going to ask you the big question to get us started. Are you ready?

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay?

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What's the most significant thing in your opinion as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going.

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Roman Gelperin: Well, I feel like I feel like a lot of people would say this very thing.

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Roman Gelperin: But, cliche as it might be here it is

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Roman Gelperin: so I recently learned from from actually a monk who's a very good friend of mine, a definition of spirituality that I have been using ever since he taught. He told it to me.

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Roman Gelperin: And it basically is spirituality is

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Roman Gelperin: the process of growth in your consciousness towards enlightenment.

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Roman Gelperin: So basically expanding your consciousness in the direction of reaching enlightenment or expanding your

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Roman Gelperin: growing your awareness in the direction of ultimately reaching a vitamintment.

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Roman Gelperin: and the best thing that people could do to be

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Roman Gelperin: to make the world better and make themselves better and just make everything better around them is yeah. To

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Roman Gelperin: practice this kind of spirituality, to practice

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Roman Gelperin: whatever spiritual practice they might have. And there's just almost an infinite amount of them

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Roman Gelperin: that will grow their consciousness in the direction of enlightenment. And that doesn't mean they have to achieve enlightenment.

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Roman Gelperin: Every step in that direction, every increment

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Roman Gelperin: makes that makes them better. People makes them more capable, more kind, more aware.

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Roman Gelperin: and can do good in the world, and

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Roman Gelperin: be the best version of themselves, or grow into in the direction of being the best versions of themselves.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's so true, the more that we understand ourselves and and work towards living our best lives.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the the better the whole world becomes, because we're happier but happy people.

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Roman Gelperin: More than just happy. We're more conscious meaning. We're more aware of what's going on around us, inside us, between us and other people, and the more aware you are, the less likely you are to make

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Roman Gelperin: unconscious mistakes that

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Roman Gelperin: mess things up and create a bad situation for yourself. Other people and the world at large.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do you think that becoming more aware of where you are personally and more spiritually awakened.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: helps in terms of interpersonal relationships for things like leaving space for other people to be who they want to be, rather than trying to condemn people or force people into a box and trying to get them to be just like you, because it's safe here.

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Roman Gelperin: That's certainly one direction of it. So people people could.

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Roman Gelperin: Basically, there's 3 major domains of existence, the I what's going on inside you, the U meaning

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Roman Gelperin: other people, and your relationship with them and the it, the impersonal world.

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Roman Gelperin: So spirituality could proceed in any of these domains. A person could

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Roman Gelperin: be very aware of what's going on inside themselves. They might just know themselves exquisitely, but be a complete novice at social interaction.

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Roman Gelperin: That's a separate line of spiritual development, awareness in the you realm in the realm of your relationship with others, and a person might be extremely aware of what's going on in the world. He'd be a great scientist. He could know the laws of physics and chemistry, and be able to explain the whole web of nature.

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Roman Gelperin: the cosmic order, the laws of existence.

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Roman Gelperin: but be very unaware of what's going on inside themselves or their relationship with other people.

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Roman Gelperin: So that's 1 more direction of spirituality and having relationships with other people and being aware of what's going on in the field between you and another person, between you and a

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Roman Gelperin: kind of community of people.

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Roman Gelperin: That's another line of spiritual development. And

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Roman Gelperin: yeah, that is worth taking. This people very advanced in those other 2 realms that that confidence does not necessarily transfer to the social realm.

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Roman Gelperin: So there, too, that's a very for a lot of people.

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Roman Gelperin: That's a big growing tip where they could apply spirituality and a spiritual practice to become, bring more consciousness to your relationships. Basically.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Found when you talk to your clients. If if they follow a a pattern of like, you divided it into 3 kind of categories of how spirituality

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: interacts on a practical level. Do 2 people follow a pattern normally like they? 1st they discover themselves and then relationships are better, and then the end they it expands out to the it. Or do people just? Are they naturally drawn in one area or another? How does that tend to look

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just out of curiosity?

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Roman Gelperin: Yes, so there is no set unfolding pattern of where everyone has to start.

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Roman Gelperin: Different people have different personalities. They have different proclivities to be drawn to one of these 3 realms.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hmm.

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Roman Gelperin: And there are some people who are extremely socially advanced.

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Roman Gelperin: very socially conscious, socially capable, who have

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Roman Gelperin: no idea about like science, or even their own internal world. There's a lot of people who are very

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Roman Gelperin: conscious of their own inner lives, but

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Roman Gelperin: might not know anything about the external world or relationships. So it depends on the person people have proclivities and they lean into these. It's also not at all uncommon to find a person who's not, who's not very well developed in any of those lines, or people who are pretty developed in a few or all of them. There's no set pattern any one of them.

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Roman Gelperin: People can begin on begin growing. Their consciousness in and where they gravitate to

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Roman Gelperin: without any spiritual instruction, just depends on the person.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Interesting, interesting. So

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: where would people like start in all of this? I mean, how would they know that they need to

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: embark on the journey, or or reach out to you, or or read your your books, or like.

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Roman Gelperin: Since this is largely about life coaching, I actually offer life coaching in pretty much each of these 3 realms

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Roman Gelperin: one way, they find that they need something like this is just. Their lives are an incredible disaster. In one of these realms. They are screwing up their relationships. They are just going from heartbreak to heartbreak, and are just

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Roman Gelperin: disillusioned about finding love and dating, and just

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Roman Gelperin: like are afraid to date, afraid of being heard just complete.

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Roman Gelperin: completely just being wiped out in the dating realm or in the friends realm, for example, they can

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Roman Gelperin: be eaten up by their internal conflicts. They are, they don't not too spiritually aware of what's going on inside themselves. So they suffer, and they suffer hard because their anxieties and insecurities and shames, and

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Roman Gelperin: the shadow part of themselves that they haven't dealt with is going to cause them a lot of suffering, and they won't even know why or what to do about it.

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Roman Gelperin: And in the physical realm they might just. Their career is not a success. They're trying to achieve things. They have all these goals, but they've been procrastinating anything for months, years, and they're just not as much a success as they want to be. And they just they can't get any traction going.

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Roman Gelperin: And that's that's the elite motivation, coaching part of it where people are just eaten up by motivational problems, by addictions, procrastination, laziness.

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Roman Gelperin: inability to control their to harness, their willpower.

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Roman Gelperin: And yeah, they just stuck somewhere in life. And so they're looking for help. And I offer some solutions.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that, so do you offer them through actual coaching, coaching? Or is it just through your reading your books, and and what are your books, and how do they help people.

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Roman Gelperin: Yeah, I mean my books, for now

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Roman Gelperin: my my most popular book is addiction, procrastination, and laziness, a proactive guide to the psychology of motivation.

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Roman Gelperin: and that sold like over a hundred 1,000 copies.

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Roman Gelperin: very popular. It addresses that it realm

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Roman Gelperin: of how to achieve success in the external world with

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Roman Gelperin: understanding. Partly. It's an understanding of yourself in relation to motivation, and it's motivational tools that will help you achieve it. Practical advice for reaching your goals, which is the number one thing today people want

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Roman Gelperin: and.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.

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Roman Gelperin: It's clear that this is the number one thing people today want, because something like

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Roman Gelperin: 80 90% of all self-help books are on that topic, productivity, self-motivation, self-discipline, etc.

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Roman Gelperin: And people buy them like manner.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I think the 2 of them kind of go together.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You know you.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can know how to manifest, and I do believe in the quantum realm and and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: putting yourself in that position. But then there's

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: there's the practical about how to actually interact with the universe and get

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the material things that you want to manifest to manifest.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just like wanting something. And sitting on the couch is not probably gonna make it happen right.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But you almost always have to take some action in order for a reaction to happen, and.

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Roman Gelperin: Yes.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Benefit.

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Roman Gelperin: For sure.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just just the the appearance of something in the the physical realm.

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Roman Gelperin: Yes, agreed, people have to do something. Success is not going to be handed to them on a platter, no matter

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Roman Gelperin: how much they visualize it. Try to vibrate at that frequency.

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Roman Gelperin: It's not going to come unless you do something.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I mean, you can. You need to do

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you need to do that in terms of vibrating at the the same frequency as the thing that you're wanting to attract.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that you get there by actually doing something, not just wishing for something which is different.

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Roman Gelperin: So? How.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: How do romantic relationships fit into this self-actualization process?

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Roman Gelperin: Well, self-actualization means living your life to the fullest, achieving your highest level of

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Roman Gelperin: well-being. You're flourishing in life

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Roman Gelperin: and part of flourishing in life is

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Roman Gelperin: having romantic relationships, having good ones. Having.

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Roman Gelperin: I would say, preferably a life partner who?

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Roman Gelperin: Yeah, you could start, you could start, have a life with maybe have kids with.

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Roman Gelperin: So that's an integral part of a good life.

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Roman Gelperin: And yeah, that part of self-actualization. You're not so self-actualized. If

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Roman Gelperin: maybe your career is going extremely well, but like your relationships are a disaster.

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Roman Gelperin: That's that's not very good self-actualization. It might be okay for

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Roman Gelperin: a short span of time. But

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Roman Gelperin: eventually you're going to have to address your romantic relationships as well.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I find there are people that

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: they. They may think that they don't want romantic relationships. But

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: do you think that that actually exists.

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Roman Gelperin: Yeah, I mean, there's things that happen to people early in life in which and some level.

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Roman Gelperin: I mean, I would kind of view it as a failure of development.

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Roman Gelperin: Like, yeah, they don't develop.

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Roman Gelperin: Maybe even a sexual instinct has kind of dead in them. For the most part. There.

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Roman Gelperin: They're not too drawn to romantic relationships that said every

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Roman Gelperin: every human being on earth, without exception.

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Roman Gelperin: for those people, every single one of their ancestors, all the way down to like

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Roman Gelperin: 1st piece of DNA that ever shuddered into molecular life has managed to reproduce.

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Roman Gelperin: So that is the most fundamental, probably one of the most fundamental parts of their being is being a

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Roman Gelperin: sexual creature

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Roman Gelperin: who's like a machine to get the genes inside you into the next generation, and that is an inextricable part of your nature. It is perhaps the fundamental part of your nature.

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Roman Gelperin: and at some level everyone has within them very, very, very strong drives to reproduce in some way

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Roman Gelperin: there are people who.

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Roman Gelperin: because of some things that happen to them, absolutely, either really fear romantic relationships or are extremely

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Roman Gelperin: averse to them. But we have it in us. The sexual instinct for sex.

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Roman Gelperin: We have in us an instinct to pair, bond, to attach to another individual. Romantically, those might not necessarily lead to reproduction.

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Roman Gelperin: You know, there's things like homosexuality which

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Roman Gelperin: won't lead to a production. And still the instincts are there. So even that is satisfying.

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Roman Gelperin: very real, very powerful instincts. There's a very small amount of people who are not drawn to

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Roman Gelperin: sex or romantic relationships at all.

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Roman Gelperin: And yeah, it's

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Roman Gelperin: it's, I would say, some kind of extreme trauma in their childhoods, something that really caused them to

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Roman Gelperin: not be able to tap into what is certainly inside them, which is the potential for sex and

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Roman Gelperin: and pair bonding, and the drive to achieve those.

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Roman Gelperin: Something might be blocking this off. But it's in all of us.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You. Do you help people with that? I mean, is that like part of what you do.

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Roman Gelperin: No, no, I don't help people who I just can't

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Roman Gelperin: like. I don't want sex or relationships. What should I do?

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Roman Gelperin: That is, I haven't worked with people like that. But for people who are

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Roman Gelperin: afraid of romantic relationships, who've had a lot of disappointments

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Roman Gelperin: in their lives and in their past romances.

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Roman Gelperin: I do work with those people.

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Roman Gelperin: For y'all, as one of the

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Roman Gelperin: the main types of coaching I offer, it's dating and relationship coaching.

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Roman Gelperin: And yeah, that's actually, that's a problem with a lot of people. There have been so hurt in love in the past that they're

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Roman Gelperin: afraid to get into another romantic relationship. And usually

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Roman Gelperin: they're getting older. And they're like, and they're

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Roman Gelperin: start hitting their late thirties, early forties and their biology just tells them, oh, my God, this is a crisis. We need to. We need to pass our genes into the next generation, and then they're

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Roman Gelperin: may motivate it to overcome those psychological hangups.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, but I've seen that in society in general, and then you get to.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm in my sixties, and I've reached a point where you know I have reproduced, and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: there's once you, you get over that hump, it's kind of freeing, because then you you can turn your thoughts to other other areas

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in your life. All my kids are grown, and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The youngest one is finally launched.

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Roman Gelperin: Nice.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: yeah, that's that's really interesting. So do your books address. I know you've written more than one. You've written like 6 or 7.

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Roman Gelperin: 6 books. I have not yet written any books on romantic relationships and dating

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Roman Gelperin: eventually there will be one or more.

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Roman Gelperin: Most of my books, address, self-actualization, which is more, that inner

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Roman Gelperin: dimension of spirituality, learning about yourself.

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Roman Gelperin: Learning to know yourself to what goes on in your mind, resolving your internal conflicts.

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Roman Gelperin: and part of it is actualizing that your best self in the world which includes growing in your

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Roman Gelperin: career path being a real success for self-actualizing people. It's not just a career. There's usually a mission. It's like a mission or a purpose that brings them into ecstasy just by successfully pursuing it. And romantic relationships are part of that

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Roman Gelperin: that's implied right in what self-actualization is my books right now.

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Roman Gelperin: Only touch on that. There's no yet book by Roman gale that addresses

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Roman Gelperin: exclusively the romantic, romantic relationship aspect of self-actualization.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do you think

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: kind of self actualization is, is more of like the basis for all of the other pieces like

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I hear, I hear often when I talk to coaches that be selfish.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: get to know yourself, solve your own problems, and then a lot of these other problems will also resolve. Do you do you find that to be true, or do you have a different thought on that.

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Roman Gelperin: I would say

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Roman Gelperin: it depends how you phrase it. The word selfish is extremely, extremely stigmatized by years of religion. People. It's like people use that word in all kinds of different senses, and they speak past each other because people have different definitions of it.

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Roman Gelperin: What I would say is, if in life. You put the interest of others before.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, so we're back. We had just a little technical difficulties. But you know me. I just pause it, and we keep rolling on. So Roman's back. We were talking about the definition of selfishness, and he was just saying that it was not a good idea to

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: just call it selfishness.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And then he was going to define it for us.

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Roman Gelperin: Yes, I think the word selfishness is extremely stigmatized, and people, when they use that word, talk past each other because they have different definitions of it

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Roman Gelperin: in terms of that. What I think is, if you put the interest of other people, or you're perceived in what you perceive to be the interest of other people above your own interest, above your own well-being.

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Roman Gelperin: You are going to make an absolute

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Roman Gelperin: mess of your life, you. It is perfectly fine to help other people. It is even encouraged

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Roman Gelperin: that has to proceed from a base of your own well-being. You cannot do much good for other people if you don't 1st secure your own boat, if you don't take care of your own well-being first, st

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Roman Gelperin: no one will benefit much, especially you, from being miserable and unconscious and trying to help other people.

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Roman Gelperin: and that way you will likely only generate more misery.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Falling into the ditch that somebody else has dug.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Cause they say it's fine down here. I'm being miserable with me.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you're over on substack. So let's talk about substack for a minute. It's my favorite place.

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Roman Gelperin: Yeah, it's pretty good. It's like a website, Twitter, a Patreon, a blog and an email list.

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Roman Gelperin: And the chat and messenger all rolled into one platform and podcast.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Ding.

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Roman Gelperin: I've been using it. I enjoyed. And pod, right? Your podcast. Thing. Yeah.

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Roman Gelperin: very impressed with the platform. Very good technology.

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Roman Gelperin: I like it. I've made it my author's website. My.

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Roman Gelperin: I've just moved pretty much everything I I do online. Just there.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I'm the same way. It's just. It's a place where you can be authentically yourself. People are kind, and it's like

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it. It feels to me like there's a little bit higher quality of people over there in in terms of

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you can discuss ideas without having to have an opinion on it, or forcing other people to see things your way.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can just you can express an opinion, and people try to be kind over there. Generally speaking, at least, the people that I connect with seem to be that way.

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Roman Gelperin: That's how we connected it.

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Roman Gelperin: We found each other in substack. And it's just kind of your whole body of work, is there? And you could. Yeah, just connect with people

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Roman Gelperin: based on that. And it's it's been good.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it has been really interesting, and I know that for my listeners that aren't familiar with substack. I will put a link below where you can actually get started on substack. But Roman offers a 45 min session to all of his paid substack subscribers. Do you want to talk about that for just a few minutes, Roman, and share with people how they can become subscribers.

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Roman Gelperin: Yeah, if you go to my sub stack.

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Roman Gelperin: you could just it's also my website. Now, just Roman, gilprin.com.

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Roman Gelperin: You can become a free member where you'll get access to my posts.

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Roman Gelperin: and if you become a paying member for

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Roman Gelperin: that's something like 6 or $7 a month, you can

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Roman Gelperin: have access to a free 45 min coaching session with me in any of my coaching modalities, in elite, motivation, coaching, self-actualization, coaching, or dating and relationship coaching.

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Roman Gelperin: and very good offer. I highly recommend it.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and for a year a year is a bargain with

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: with the way he's set up his sub stack. So I encourage you to subscribe for a year.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's less than coffee a week.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: so and then you get all these extras with with Roman and

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and that's Roman gelprin.substack.com.

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Roman Gelperin: Yes, or Roman gilprint.com. It redirects to my subject, anyway.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's great. That's great. So thanks so much for joining us today, Roman. It's been great chatting with you about self-actualization.

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Roman Gelperin: Thanks so much. Jill, yeah, this was very fun.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And to learn more about Roman. Consider becoming a paid subscriber to his publication, Roman gelprin.substack.com, or just romangelprin.com, and we'll put those links in the show notes below. Thank you for tuning in with us today. If you have a podcast or you're interested in starting one to get your message in front of our huge and active audience. Be sure to reach out to us at jill@gnostictv.com.

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Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We love to help spiritual entrepreneurs and coaches, amplify their voice and monetize their mission and offer a variety of ways to do this on the Gnostic TV network platform, join us for our next episode, as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world, start today and get visible.