So what's going on, everybody?

How's it going, everybody?

How you doing?

I'm Derek.

I'm Matt.

I'm Kevin.

He's been on a couple times.

Glad to be back.

So we have been in our Spiritual Warfare series for.

This is week 11.

This is the 11th week, 11th episode of.

It could be considered the 11th hour.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is the 11th hour.

You always call me in at the 11th hour.

What the heck?

It is the 11th hour for putting in your questions for next week.

Yes, you do.

Because the winner gets a shirt similar to this one.

Yeah.

And he upped the ante.

I upped the ante.

And I made an Armor of God cup.

It's a 30 ounce tumbler.

It's really nice quality.

It is.

That's good.

Yeah.

So whoever submits the most amount of questions, we'll get the.

Pertaining to where the T shirt.

Spiritual Warfare.

Whoa.

Gets a.

Gets a cup.

Do I get to compete?

Do what?

Do I get to compete?

Yeah.

Oh, gosh.

He's about to load us up.

But you may.

You may have to come in and.

Well, I can't.

I can't enter.

I can't enter.

I was gonna say you might have to come in and answer the questions then.

Yeah.

So I'll sit on the sideline.

You can always submit questions.

Yes, you can, Absolutely.

You're a listener.

You're an avid listener.

Yeah.

So we've been in, like you said, this is 11th episode of a Spiritual Warfare I can't Talk Today series.

Weird fair.

Yeah, it's a weird fair.

All right.

And so we're hoping that you've been following along.

It's been centering around Ephesians 6.

Go back.

We unpacked all of the armor of God and we've just talked about different parts of Spiritual Warfare, including last episode, which was about living victoriously in the daily part of your life.

And so today we brought in Kevin because today's an example day.

We're going to get real and talk about real life stories of stuff.

And we've talked a little bit throughout our experiences, but we were like, get somebody else in here that you guys might recognize and.

And who is also an elder at the church here.

And.

Yeah, I'm the only non elder.

Yeah, but he's on staff.

Yeah, I'm the only non Bible college guy.

Well, okay.

It's all right.

But you read enough.

Jonathan Cahn.

Oh, wow.

End.

Enough Bible.

I was accused of being a Bible nerd last week.

I'm like, really?

Thanks.

That's whatever People want to give you compliments like that, let them sling.

Right.

I mean, if somebody were to call me a Bible nerd, I'd be like, huh?

And I say this myself.

I was just surprised and esteemed by it.

Yeah.

So last week we were talking about what it means to live each day victoriously.

Yes.

And, and what that.

That looks like.

Right.

And the intentionality and the, the consistency over intensity until, you know, you build up consistency.

Right.

And just being able to, to live in that daily, which will lead to endurance, resilience and fruitfulness.

So that was what we talked about last week.

This week, sharing some stories.

Quick icebreaker question.

What is one small, ordinary situation where you later realized that was spiritual warfare, even though it didn't seem like it at first?

Quite frequently when I'm in a conversation that has interpersonal relationships, they're small, they, they are quick and it's like a machine gun.

Could you give us maybe a semi specific example?

Yeah, sure.

Try and give a good example.

I can tell you yesterday I was having a conversation with another elder and as the conversation was progressing, I started speaking.

And then I realized that what I was speaking was not as edifying as I intended it to be.

And therefore I stopped.

And a prayer that I've been saying since going through some of the experiencing God information is let me hold my voice until I hear your voice, meaning God.

It's not the person I'm talking to.

So my wife would just call that my filter.

She says it doesn't work.

I am here to say it works a lot.

She just doesn't appreciate how overworked it is because it's not a sifter.

It's probably got big holes in it.

So things get through.

And that is the spiritual warfare I endure most often is my own tongue.

Also my own pride.

I've been blessed with a lot of gifts from God and developed some skills and been recognized and recognized that they've helped me along the way and even when trying not to be prideful about things, find myself right in it.

So that is one of those spiritual warfares.

But I'm here to talk about victories in it too, because I'll tell you, Holy Spirit working reminds me of that and makes me more a humble servant than just a servant.

Right.

So I'm finding that.

And it's a daily, It's a daily warfare.

Those are the small ones.

Those are skirmishes.

Yeah, well, I mean, and that's one of the things that, that we're going to talk about today too, is that like A lot of times it's the subtle, right?

Like it's.

It's not always the big obvious things, right?

Like yesterday.

Yesterday was.

I felt some spiritual warfare, but it didn't seem like it until I was like halfway through my day, right?

I had like five cup orders.

Just five.

Five cups I had to make.

That's it, five cups.

And I thought, oh, I could do this.

One of them I already had the design for.

I didn't need to redesign it.

And one of them I was designing and it came out really cool when I designed it on the computer.

And then two of them were for like somebody I don't know, right, that ordered cups.

And so.

And they were 30 ounce tumblers, which I haven't done.

Right.

Until.

Till yesterday.

And so, like, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna start with the easy ones, right?

The ones that are done that I've already done before, and both of them shot, they were garbage.

They did not come out good at all.

And one of them.

It was my last teal cup.

I guess it was two days ago.

It was Monday.

It was my last teal cup.

Nope, it was today.

Yesterday.

Anyways, it doesn't matter.

It was my last teal one and so I had to order some and I'll have them overnighted.

And I screwed up.

I kid you not.

I screwed up four red cups trying to get the one that came together really nicely.

And it didn't turn out at all like I was hoping.

And so I had to shift the entire project so all.

All that before I even tried the bigger cups.

And I was just.

I was about to lose my mind.

But I mean, the Lord held me together like that's the only way I could.

But I left.

I took a break.

I went to the grocery store and stuff and came back.

And then last night I hit the two big cups and they worked flawlessly.

And it was like, okay, needed a reset, needed a little talking time with God and to walk away.

And everything just fell into place.

So it was good.

Amen.

Reaching out to brothers and stuff to pray for too.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So I mean, the small, subtle stuff all the time.

One of the things that I recognize that's an easy thing for me to fall into is suddenly getting impatient for no reason at all.

Absolutely no reason at all.

No, like, I mean, seriously, like yesterday.

Yesterday we went to the beach, and on the way to the beach, we stopped at a Wawa.

Pick up some subs on the way, and we're in Wawa.

I have no reason to Be rushed, Zero reason.

But you just have to be to be rushed.

I have no reason to think this is taking too long.

I have no reason to get in.

But I found myself getting a little impatient and frustrated in the store for no reason why?

Because it was an opportunity to come at me like that.

And I don't understand that at all.

Like, I did so well on the drive up on everything else but this.

This for no reason.

Like, the Wawas quit like 10, five to 10 minutes from the beach.

I have no reason to rush.

It's a good day.

What's going on?

Yeah, it's.

You just got to keep staying on top.

Like, trying to recognize.

I found myself going, why am I even getting mad right now?

Like, why am I even feeling this?

Right?

It doesn't even make sense.

I share that in every experience in my life.

And I've determined.

Don't know I'm accurate, but that is because I'm out of control, maybe.

And I was getting gas and I needed to get a receipt at 7:11 the other day on the way home from church.

Again, no reason to rush.

I get in there because the receipt machine didn't have any paper.

I go in, and while one guy is checking in the Frito Lay truck, the other guy's behind the counter.

And I'm behind a landscape crew that came in for their lunch.

And while this is happening, the guy doing the work at the counter dumps a lady's Big Gulp on the counter.

And I'm just sitting here stewing.

And I'm like.

And it has nothing to do with me.

And no.

No bearing whatsoever.

But those are second only to whatever I'm doing or not doing at home.

When my wife interrupts my.

Nothing.

And seriously, it's a problem with me.

It's not her.

I must say that for all the listeners out there.

But the reality is I get short when things that are unexpected come at me.

And that is a very common spiritual warfare for me.

It is one I have not yet mastered.

But awareness is a good start.

I'm almost wondering if that's a guy thing.

Like, y'.

All.

Y' all listeners.

Is that a guy thing?

Like, because I feel like I'm right there, like, in.

In that same boat.

And it.

I. I don't know, over anything and everything.

Especially at home.

Yeah, well, at home.

Well, I mean, it's interesting.

So my wife and I have different things that, like, will drive us nuts in the house number for.

For her.

Like, it'll.

It's like there's someone Speaking in her ear, hey, it's messy over there.

The house couldn't be.

What might not be that bad at all, but over there is messy.

And so that's bugging her now.

You know what I mean?

And she'll look at me like, why?

Why don't you care about it like I do?

Because I don't.

I don't.

That's fine.

We'll get it cleaned up.

It's not the end of the world for me.

It's not going to bother me to that degree.

Just a little messy over there.

We'll get that, you know?

But to her, it'll get to her in ways that I can't comprehend.

On the other side of things, when something's not working in the house, anything at all is not working the way I believe it is supposed to.

And it makes me want to lose my mind.

Yep.

He would hate that light in my lanai.

Like, I don't know what it is.

Like, if the TV is not working the way I should, I start to lose it, you know, whatever it is.

Buffering, if it's not.

I mean, buffering is one thing.

It's more like.

Like, if it's just not doing what it's supposed to be doing.

And I'm.

I get really weird quick, and I just.

I just can't.

I don't know what it is.

I have to, like, calm myself down.

Like, it's okay, Matt, that this isn't being perfect right now.

This is a machine.

This is a program.

This is this.

But it's supposed to work.

I attribute my problems like that these days because I've been praying just ceaselessly for patience and compassion.

And I know everybody tells you, don't do that, but reality is, I'm getting old.

I'm running out of time.

I need the quick version of this.

So let's get it done, you know?

And I find while I'm in is deliberately those two spots, one end is giving me compassion.

The other is working on my patience.

Neither are fun.

Both are actually pretty miserable to me.

But that daily awareness is getting me through it, and it's getting me to a point.

One thing I'm reading today, I just finished Ephesians 6, oddly enough, yesterday.

But one of the things that's really impacting me on the study I'm doing is the real knowledge that Christ is the head of the church, we are the body.

And even though I have a personal relationship with him and I'm a part of that body, that everybody around me is part of that body.

And therefore anything I'm doing that breaks down that part of the body is self destructive.

And I'm really trying to keep that visual in my brain right now because it alters the way I will interact with people.

Instead of coming at them, I will come alongside of them.

And it's just one of those crazy things, but hopefully that's one of the armors that I can wear against.

Well, buckle up guys, cuz Matt's gonna get a little weird and Kevin's always patiently waiting.

I'm gonna get a little compassionate.

I'm always weird.

Well, I mean, you literally said that just a second ago.

Sometimes you get a little weird.

I do get a little weird.

He's patiently waiting to become compassionate.

Yeah.

So what are you doing?

I'm good.

I'm gonna sit here and endure it.

Like endure it.

Welcome to the truth response, Sam.

All right, who wants to pray?

I'm happy to.

Or do you can.

I mean, you can go for it.

You're a guest, you don't get to pray very well.

Kevin, why don't you go ahead and pray?

Father, we come before you.

We are blessed to have this opportunity and the microphone that we might be able to reach more people than just the ones that are close by.

I thank you Lord for the heart and the mind of these men, that we can have discussions like these that would help others and bless the rest of the body.

I hope that you will bridle my tongue and keep it on track and that you'll give Matt enough weirdness to make it entertaining and we'll find something for Derek to do while we're at it.

But I definitely love you Lord, and I thank you and I worship you because you're amazing.

And throughout all of that, you remember each one of us individually and you're there in our sorrow, you're there in our pain.

You give us peace through the storm and you take all the blame when it's not even yours to take.

I just thank you for that and your mercy and the compassion that you show me every day.

I pray this in Jesus loving name.

Amen.

Amen.

So as, as I said earlier, like a lot of times that spiritual warfare is subtle things, more so than like the big stuff.

I mean, they can build on you too.

Oh yeah, no, for sure.

Yeah.

And it's weird how just circumstances can set you up and you don't even realize you're heading towards a possible problem.

Right.

So I'm one of the snowballing effect.

For me, like I think about the day the first day I went to seminary, right?

I'm driving from Maryland to Tennessee to go down to the school.

And I guess I should have expected that something would happen, but I'm in my own world.

Everything's fine, you know, it's kind of like a movie.

I'm like, everything's great.

And I stopped at my brother's, and then I had.

I spent a night over there because he was halfway point.

And then I got up in the morning and I went and ate breakfast.

And when I was leaving my brother's house, he's like, hey, you're One tire looks just a little low.

And I was like, oh, I'll check it out.

So I went and had breakfast, and I went to a gas station, and I was going to try to pump my tire up.

And I thought to myself, you know what?

I should be proactive, and I should do all the tires.

So instead of starting at the driver's rear, which is where I was, the tire that was possibly the one, I. I went to the passenger rear and I hooked up the machine, which is supposed to set the tire pressure.

And I hooked it up and I turned it on.

And instead of inflating my tire, it deflated my tire.

And I'm trying to fiddle with the machine, trying to fix it.

Nothing's working.

I go in the gas station and I'm like, hey, your machine just sucked the air out of my tire.

Is there anything you do here?

And they're like, oh, no, that one somehow.

And they weren't helpful at all.

And I'm like, I don't know what to do here.

And I saw a police officer was in the store, and I was like, hey, you know, officer, I don't know if you can help me.

I said, I don't know nothing.

And I was kind of just kind of beside myself.

Now I'm close enough to where my brother works that I'm like, well, I'll call him.

And he had to come to my rescue.

And this whole time I'm getting frustrated, and I'm getting almost like I had all the time in the world realistically, but I'm starting to get kind of worked up about it.

And I call my wife, and she's like, what are you doing?

I said, what do you mean?

She goes, you know you're going to seminary, right?

I was like, yes.

She goes, yeah.

And I was like, so I should have expected something.

She's like, what?

You don't know?

You don't know if God's protecting you for something?

There could have been an accident.

There could have been anything, right?

You know, just relax.

You're going to get there.

It's going to be fine.

And so my brother comes to bail me out.

He puts air in my other tire.

We get that up to speed, speed.

And he goes over the tire.

That was originally the concern.

And believe it or not, it was fine.

It was fine.

Talk about messing with your head.

I was like, are you serious right now?

And so, and the funny thing is, is then I get to seminary and I'm the first one there.

Wow.

I'm the first one of my group there.

And I was like, I don't even know what all that was about.

It was.

I'm serious.

All these stuff.

All it takes is the right circumstance of events to start getting you out of check.

Yeah, that's me in an airport.

There are so many.

And I'm on my p's and Q's when I'm traveling.

I'm like, I talk to everybody.

I'm evangelizing.

I'm in a good space when I'm.

When I'm on the road.

And then you give me a delay or you take 15 minutes before you can get to the gate because the ground crew's not there.

Or it's 30 minutes for your luggage.

And all of these things are like such triggers that I'm like exploding inside.

And that they make the mistake of giving you some garbage story about why we had one that was mechanical.

I'll never forget it as long as I live.

This was a couple months ago.

I had a four hour layover to start with because my company wanted me to be cheap.

I was hanging out in the Admirals Club.

I go out to the gate where I had a.

Keep this story short, a three hour layover there.

Or wait because of mechanics.

They didn't tell us this until 10 minutes before boarding.

And then it was the 20 minute, 20 minute, 10 minute, 30 minute for another three hours.

But the first guy was okay.

But when shift change hit brought a pleasant girl in there who was very pleasantly lying to our face as she tells us that, well, good news.

The plane is being towed over from the hangar.

So we'll be getting you boarded soon.

As I look across, the hangar is straight in front of us because the other guy told us, that's the hangar.

There's no plane being towed.

Now I'm fuming and I'm like.

So I say it under my breath, but loud enough for a lot of passengers to hear as I'm standing there because I'M the first one in line.

That's an anxiety thing for me, you know, except for we can see out the window and nothing's happening, but there's no ground crew down there.

It's like, well, it might be shift change on the ramp, but wait, it gets better.

Because then the pilots who have been standing at the gate this whole time, they get us all on board.

Sorry for the delay, folks.

We'll get you on your way back to Fort Myers as soon as possible.

You know, it couldn't be helped, but we're happy to say we're underway and before they close the door, folks.

So I'm out of time, so I'm going to be having to get another crew in here.

Good news is they're got one on the way and so be about another 30 minutes.

We want you to remain on the plane this whole time.

My hair is on fire.

Okay.

I'm like, you knew that while you were standing at the gate, and you waited at the gate long enough so you didn't have to take this trip.

And I'm, like, just boiling.

And then I realized that this is just the snowball.

This is just the start of the snowball.

Because when I get home now, it's going to be blow time.

And it just.

I'm like, I literally have come home from.

From flights and go to my wife.

Don't talk to me.

I'm fine.

Leave me alone.

I'll talk to you in a while.

Last time I went out and started lifting weights and came in, and as pleasantly as she could, she said something that blew me up.

It was just something stupid like, why are you upset?

Or it could have been as innocuous as, did you close the garage door?

And I'd be, what, do you think I'm stupid?

Of course I close the garage door.

You know, these are the moments.

That's why my prayer always is, bridle my tongue.

Bridle my tongue because it's sharp and it's wicked and it's bad.

And I need Christ to guide it every step of every day.

Yeah, yeah.

And the crazy thing is, I mean, we've all talked about at home, right?

Like, that's, that's.

That's the place that it's the worst.

Like, usually out in public, you're gonna have some.

Some sort of control over how you're presenting yourself.

I mean, there's that whole, like, we all were taught professionalism to some degree, right?

But at home, those are the people that you can be you around, and you can let Loose.

And they're the ones who deserve it the least.

And they're the ones that deserve it the absolute least because they already put up with.

Kids do deserve it sometimes.

Not mine.

Look, my.

My kid.

I can't say that about my kid is so good.

Like, even the times where she screws up, it's like, I'll give you a little leniency.

She's not at the age of testing yet.

Oh, that's true.

Well, I mean, she talks like she is, but you're right.

I mean, I was talking to a minister about it.

And it's for us and for many, when you're out, you're on.

You're just on.

And so when you get home, it's, you know, you just want to.

You just want to not.

You just want to not be on.

So, you know, mentally, you just want to flip off some switches and just kind of relax.

And unfortunately, it's when you let your guard down.

Yeah.

You know that these things can happen, and when you let your guard down, you're not.

It's like taking the armor off for a minute and then attacks come and you can't handle them the way that you need to handle them.

And so it's.

It's kind of exhausting because you feel like you have to be on constantly or else you're just going to mess up.

But not all of them look, you know, dramatic.

Some of them are very subtle.

You know, even as we're out in the world, you know, first one on our list was, you know, you can have the temptation to compromise your integrity at work.

You know, like, I remember working at the dealership when I worked in a car dealership.

I mean, there's a lot of stigmas about working at car dealerships and stuff such.

But, like, there's always a temptation, you know, and I was definitely on the better end of that because I tried.

I purposely was trying to make sure my customers could trust me.

There were plenty.

There were plenty that just.

They didn't care about any of that.

They cared about their paycheck more than anything else in the world.

And so, you know, they took shortcuts, they.

They told people things they shouldn't have, told them they got one over.

And sometimes you see it.

There's always temptations there to do such things and recognize them when they come.

Well, I bet you I can make an extra.

You know, why?

Why?

For what reason?

To sell yourself.

But at least that what you're describing is you can understand the self interest.

You don't.

And Even not condoning it at all.

Understand it for the sin that it is.

But then there's the easy ones.

At work.

Did you take an extra pen?

Home.

And not the giveaways, but, you know, or whatever.

Office supplies are the biggest stolen item from work.

It's amazing in the workplace.

Okay.

Fortunately, I work from home, so it's all mine.

But I've been tempted, and I've seen people tempted to actually stock up.

Oh, I need to read my paper at home.

And these things are so seemingly harmless that you're right, it's compromised.

But more importantly, it's turning to sin without even thinking about it.

I'll give you one that's current that I've fought against, and thank God, God gives me victories.

My family is going up to Connecticut for the week.

There's a lot of pressure on me to get up there.

Well, I have clients that I can go visit or prospects that I can go visit up there, but without the meetings, it's going to be under false pretense just so I can go home and visit.

So I've been working all week long trying to book these meetings, man.

I have a guy I've been doing business with for 20 years.

Look, I have nothing to sell you.

I just need your opinion on a couple of things.

I'm coming up for the family thing, but I need to do some business while I'm there.

Yeah, no problem.

Let's get together.

So, I mean, I'm facing it, but.

And that little voice in the back of my head, thank God it's theirs going do everything as it's a gift to God.

And I'm like, you know how hard that is when you work for a Chinese guy who's just like, doesn't understand American culture?

Because my boss is from China, for those of you don't know, and he's in country right now.

And I've managed to avoid working with him, which is the first time since I've worked for the company.

I've had him all over the country with the guys who work for me.

And he's like, so what are you doing this week?

Well, right now I'm booking appointments for next week's trip.

So you got meetings?

Yeah.

We start having this conversation, and his questions become almost, in my opinion, disrespectful in the sense of.

And I even said to him, when did you forget I know how to do my job?

And he's like, well, no, but we need reports.

And you haven't had reports since Vegas.

Well, time out.

You Were in Vegas with me next to the sales guy.

I'm not your salesman.

I'm his supervisor.

You want to see a report from Vegas?

You were standing next to him.

Why don't you do one?

And this is where God's got me right now.

He's like, whoa, this is the authority I've placed over you.

You need to stop this.

And it's like, I'm telling you, everything starts at my tongue, but it comes from the heart.

I know that.

It's just one after another after another.

And thank God he's so relentless on me, because without the Holy Spirit, I would be just a train wreck.

Even to the point.

This morning, I'm typing the letter to my staff, and it's like, to the tune of, I've had it with being yelled at from China, you will do your reports.

You know, and then little blip comes up.

Try Coach Boop.

The spirit of collaboration want to thank you for everything we've been doing.

And.

And we'd like to ask you to get your work in on time, et cetera.

And I'm like, much better.

Send.

That's better.

So the Holy Spirit's working through the computer now.

You know what you got?

Something's got to combat AI.

Right, right, right.

Like, okay, this will work.

But, yeah, it always starts with my mouth.

No, it starts with my heart.

It manifests through my mouth quite frequently.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, intentions don't always matter.

Right.

Like, you bury things in the heart.

Right.

And they end up seeping out through the mouth.

Even though something you may want to address is a good intended thing, a lot of times I find myself saying the wrong things.

And, I mean, I know that everyone that I've ever had a good, good, long conversation with has had an argument with me where we were saying two different.

We were saying the same thing, but neither one of us knew it.

Right.

You just nailed it.

And that's how I know spiritual warfare works on both sides.

Because me and my wife have had plenty of big arguments while agreeing.

Yeah, my wife and I used to call them heated agreements.

I like that.

I like that.

Yep.

We all need.

That should be a. Mad cow needs to.

Mad cow needs to realize that all of ours are heated agreements.

I mean, the first time that we recognized it and I named it that day, I love it.

We had some people over the house.

I can't remember, it was either the birthday or whatever.

And we had this small couch, and we wanted to move it for the occasion.

And so I'm a visual.

But this is also we realized why we have these issues later on.

I'm a visual person, so in my head I'm describing where it needs to go.

I'm visual too.

I get it.

She's trying to tell me where it needs to go, but we're saying it differently because she can't visualize it.

She just knows.

Is she an auditory processor?

To a degree.

And so then we go into the room and we show each other and we realize we're showing each other the exact same thing.

And I was like, we.

And we've gotten to this point where it's.

I don't know if I would say heated, but we've definitely escalated.

And I'm like, we're having a heated agreement right now.

This is ridiculous.

I wrote that one down.

Yeah.

But it's true.

And actually the problem was for us is that because I'm so innerly visual, I can see things in my mind and she can't.

And so we have to really watch how we communicate with each other.

Even when I'm moving furniture, it actually, she got so frustrated with me at one point, when it comes to my.

Blood pressure is going up just waiting for this.

Yeah.

Moving.

Like she got frustrated with.

I'm getting a little nervous we would move something together, but I live in that area.

That's why I'm saying I understand his point instinctively.

I know what to do and I can visualize where it needs to go.

And I'm used to other people that can do the same.

She doesn't do it like I do.

She wants me to communicate constantly.

And that doesn't.

That's not how I operate.

I just assume that she can see what I see.

And so, yeah, I have to.

I had to.

I had to switch tactics a little bit and be like, okay, now we're going to do this.

Okay, now we're going to do this.

Okay, now we're going.

I'm going to have to talk to you about how to switch tactics, because I haven't found that chapter in the book yet.

I took a little bit of doing.

Because I'm telling you, I am visual processor.

Everything is a picture in my head.

Yeah.

And Joanne is absolutely not.

Yeah.

Well, I can help you with this a little bit.

Good.

Yeah, it's.

It.

But anyway.

Yeah.

So it's funny, you know, heated agreements.

It's totally real.

I like it.

Yeah.

So, okay, so our next.

Unless you.

Did you have one another one for work or.

No, no, that's good.

Our next area to talk about was persistent discouragement, fear or anxiety, which is.

I mean, that's.

I guess one of mine for that one is easy because I don't know what I'm doing.

Right.

Like, as far as, like, yes, that's literally.

I mean, like, I don't.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Right.

Like, everything from this podcast to the, you know, being an elder walking in faith there, brother.

Right.

But to.

To my.

My job of laser engraving, to being a dad, to being a husband, like a follower of Christ, like, I don't know what I'm doing.

And so, like, it's really easy for that.

That anxiety to get me.

And I think that's part of the reason why I have a short fuse.

That is an attack.

And so, like, I am constantly feeling like I'm not good enough with that.

You know what I mean?

Like, so that for me, it's.

I don't.

I'm.

I BS it, right.

Like, the podcast, we're.

I just do.

Right.

Like, I walk in here, conversation, sit down.

I mean, we've got a little bit of preparation, but, like, we just talk.

Right.

And laser engraving, I just do it until it works.

Right.

Like, I mean, like, for your profit.

Margin, but it's a way to get it done eventually.

I'm hoping that eventually that'll mean I'll.

I'll get it right.

Sure.

All the time, but.

Or most of the time, so.

But yeah, that's.

That's a quick one for me, is that it's like.

Yeah, everything is.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean, I live.

I live here when it comes to discouragement, fear, and anxiety.

And actually, I come to find out that a lot of people in ministry deal with these things a lot, especially ones that aren't trying to be the ones that are trying to keep ourselves in check a lot.

Because there are people that get very prideful people that go out there and they just kind of go off the rocker a little bit.

For the ones that want to try to keep themselves in check so that we're doing it the right way, I can tell you that there's a lot of us that feel this.

There's fear because we don't want to fail.

We don't want to do what's wrong.

So we're constantly checking ourselves.

We don't want to become that other person.

We don't want to make the mistakes that these people have made.

So you're just constantly trying to keep yourself in the right mind space.

That creates a lot of anxiety because you want to work, you Want everything to go well, and.

And you're thinking about the next service or the next group or the next thing, and you want it to go well.

And the amount of anxiety that I go through just getting onto trip time when it comes to taking the trip with the middle school, taking the trip with the high school, because want to make sure all the students are going, everything's done and everything's good.

And then there's parents kind of bombarding you with questions and stuff like this.

And then you're like, okay.

And you're just trying to get through it all right?

And I'm a guy that, like, fear loves to come in and play.

You meant you told that story about being at the airport and how it made you in the airport.

I become very fearful, and I can't understand.

I'm not a flyer.

I have done it.

And when I'm up there and I can see cool views, I kind of enjoy it right there.

But when it comes to the idea of leaving the ground, like, that scares me.

And then with the problem I have with planes, I used to sit next to someone who would sit and just for fun, watch plane crash videos and investigations.

I'm like, you're giving me a complex.

But, like, I'll never forget the day I was leaving here.

Actually, it was when I was moving down.

I drove down that night, that night before.

So I did.

I'm 24 hours awake over 24 hours awake now.

And, you know, Nick took me to the airport so I could fly back up and drive all the way back down.

And I'm standing at the airport and there's just a few minute delay.

And it's funny because lady comes up and she says something along the lines of, oh, sorry, it's just gonna be a few minutes.

The pilot had to have, like, the mechanic come out and look at something on the plane.

Okay, I'm already freaking out before she says that.

So now I'm like.

And I'm towards the front of the line.

So I'm like, ma'.

Am.

She goes, yes.

I said, what's broken on the plane?

Like, what kind of life situation am I gonna roll into?

Oh, it's just a light.

And I was like, what do you mean it's just a light?

There's a light that's not doing what it's supposed to do.

And they're gonna, okay, how about next time just lead with that?

Don't make me think this plane's going down unless this mechanic gets there.

And if he's a good mechanic, I start going through all the scenarios and I try to control it.

My mom tries to help.

Bless her heart.

She will tell me when it comes to flying, she tells me the same thing every single time.

Well, you know, when I get on a plane, I just hand it over to Jesus and I go, lord, well, if it's my time, then it's my time.

And I'm okay with that.

And I'm like, I wish I could do that.

But every time I start doing that, I think about my wife, I think about my kids, I think about this, and I'm like, ah, start to lose it.

Not to mention she's like, yeah, it could crash.

That's exactly what she's saying to you at that point.

It's like, see?

They could crash.

And he's.

Yeah, that's what I'm hearing.

You're describing how Jackson feels about flying.

Oh, he's bitter that he's flying back Connecticut because he hates planes.

And I'm like, I love flying.

I'm like, I'm.

This is fine.

I'd rather do that than get in a car in Lehigh Acres.

I'm just driving, you know.

But for me, it's like, cool.

And I don't understand the anxiety.

I don't have it.

But I will tell you, it's very interesting because you talk about discouragement and fear and anxiety.

I don't have a lot of fear about most anything in life at this point.

I've faced a lot of those.

And my objective reality was like, I was afraid to jump out of a plane, so I did it kind of thing.

I am afraid of hurting people that I don't intend to hurt.

I have a feeling of inadequacy, probably brought about by my lack of education formally.

When I'm in the office with all the C suite people, the CEOs, CFOs, because I feel like they can talk a higher level of language than I'm capable of doing.

And I cover that by taking control of the room usually.

But I have to tell you, my anxiety is truly over things I can't control, whether it be interpersonal relationship, my sons, my grandson, whatever.

My wife don't want to control them, but when they're out of control, it's rubbing it right up against me.

I mean, that's really all relationships too, if you think about it.

I mean, like, the biggest.

The biggest piece of advice that comes up is like, you can't change someone else, right?

And that's the wisdom Joanne always had.

She never tried to change me.

So I tried to be better for her, but a lot of this born you were talking about snowballing and it's like stacking stones.

For me, my background is a baggage of weight that I carry with me every day of my life.

And my point of view was formed in a great deal by my past.

And my past was not a God fearing past.

So that's why I'm always praying for compassion.

But what ends up happening now is, to Matt's point, I'm always on and I'm always on guard.

And even with that, things slip through the filter and I go.

But when I get off guard and I just go like Al Bundy, hey, pig.

It is not good.

Most of the times I am fearing just getting in the Lord's way, or I fear me trying to do without God.

I want him to lead me.

I actually get stressed out because I'm like, I don't want.

I want to make sure I'm doing what he wants me to do.

I don't want to step outside of that.

It's kind of a weird place to be.

But I'll tell you what, the discouragement is something that's real too, because there's.

And I'm not the only one that deals with this.

But like, I could have a lot of good things going on through my work, through my life, through my ministry, whatever we're doing, whatever God's got me wrapped up in, and all it takes is one thing.

And it doesn't have to be a big thing.

It can be a really small thing.

But something stupid and small happens and I'll start thinking about that more than I'm thinking about everything else.

Like everything else could be going great and smooth, but this one thing's happening now.

That's what I'm thinking about instead of the rest of it.

And I wish I could, I don't know, I take it personally more than.

I can compartmentalize it.

Yeah.

So that's hard.

And I know that's the enemy trying to really make me.

He wants me to not look at the positive.

He wants me to think of the negative.

He wants me to doubt 100%.

Because then in that moment, and here's the thing, it's Judas.

You turn to discouragement instead of turning to Jesus and things snowball in a bad direction for me.

I look at it as like, well, first of all, I've learned that certain things are when the news is on or we're watching a show that I'm not enjoying because I don't.

I find it fascinating that people like watching Murder for entertainment.

Okay, that's another show.

But I don't.

And I find out when I do, I'm more aggressive.

So I like not doing it, and I like not hearing the news.

And I'll watch.

I'll watch a couple of opinion programs and listen to the banter.

And even if that goes overwhelming, I'm like.

But I also find that most of my anxiety, my fear, and my.

My.

If you call it discouragement, comes from guilt and shame.

Yeah.

Yeah, good.

I was gonna say, like, yeah, that's totally the background being the struggles, you know, that we have.

Guilt and shame is already riding us big time.

And then other things, like example, you were talking about how, like, blowing up, you know, with your wife.

All of us have done that.

Right?

Like, but not only do we know that that's the wrong answer.

Right.

She doesn't need that.

We've all blown up at my wife.

She must be really irritated, actually.

I love your wife.

I think your wife's great.

I don't know how you blow up at your wife.

No, I'm just kidding.

No, but.

But, like, so we've already got our baggage, right?

Like, our guilt and our shame, and now we're adding something else to it because we.

We blew up in the midst of it.

It's a cycle, dude.

So.

Okay, next one is miscommunication.

I think that leads really well into miscommunication in relationships strife.

Well, I certainly like the.

The reference of heated agreement in that.

Heated agreement.

It's very real.

It's wild, actually.

I tell Sadie.

So when we first started having heated agreements, we really didn't have any.

We don't really argue too much, which is kind of strange because, you know, I've had a past relationships where there was a lot of arguing, but.

But every once in a while, we just get a little animated, which is strange.

That's not our norm.

And it's usually over ridiculous things.

And that's what.

And I looked at it the first time, like, is this.

Is this.

Because we don't.

Do we need.

Is there an outlet that we're trying to find here?

The valve.

Yeah.

Like, hold on.

We need to.

We need to just blow up some weird.

Because I don't know.

Look, look, every relationship's got its things, you know, like, no relationship is completely perfect.

We're all human.

But at the same time, it's like, there have been times I look at her, like, are things just going too well that we just felt like we needed to get kind of animated with one another for a while for no particular reason.

And the kids are like, are you guys fighting?

Like, no, actually we're not really fighting.

I don't even know why we're talking like this.

A lot of times my miscommunication comes from passion.

People ask me why I'm so angry.

I'm like, I'm not angry at all.

What are you talking about?

But I'm passionate and funny because Joanna and I don't argue a lot.

But I would say that we are snippy a lot snippy.

Which has never really been a problem.

It sounds ridiculous in that because neither of us take that banter at a level it's.

We're carrying our own baggage.

We share what we share.

And then one triggers the other and that's when we have a blow up.

But honestly, every fight we've ever had is either one of three things.

Kids, money, or flying together.

The last one I wasn't expecting.

We almost.

We were ready to hit each other.

I'd have never hit a woman.

But figuratively speaking, standing at the counter in Orlando, Florida, waiting for a plane.

And it was so belligerent that the gate agent almost didn't let me on the plane.

And it's just.

And this is my own intolerance.

And thank God.

God's working on it.

But I am a professional traveler.

I have my routine.

I can stay 10 days overseas in a carry on luggage bag.

Okay.

I am the first one in line.

I will be there.

It does not matter.

I will be standing in that line 30 minutes before boarding time.

I know when it's boarding.

I'm going to be there.

I'll be the first one on the plane.

And I just want to relax and go into my zone.

My wife has been on the same flight with me.

She can go with group one because I have status on it.

And she is the last person on the same flight.

So she stays out there until group nine.

Then, man, it's time to get on.

Okay.

And she gets on.

I don't know why.

It gives me anxiety, but it sure does.

And it's like so.

So these things.

It's so weird.

We are just at such loggerheads about how we travel that we don't travel together anymore.

My wife and I can't be each other's navigator.

No, we can't.

We learned this really early on.

I respect that.

No, for real, like we'll be driving.

We learned very quickly that if I'm driving and she's trying to navigate for me, I don't.

I can't stand it.

And she can't do it either.

And it's because of how we describe things.

Well, you know, so now we have to have our own phone with our own navigation going, and then we're great after that.

As long as we're not trying to navigate for each other.

Driving with one another is a pleasant experience.

That's great.

But if we try to tell each other where to go, suddenly it becomes a whole ordeal.

Now you want to tell each other where to go?

Yeah, we don't have that issue.

We travel well together.

I mean, I don't know why.

I mean, we're good at that now.

If it's in town, I'm like, yo, I saw the stoplight.

I'm watching the road too.

You know, and she gets frustrated about the same similar things.

Right.

Stop.

Ish.

Um, and I drive like a grandpa, so she doesn't like that.

But other than that, like, we.

We're.

We're really good at traveling together.

Our thing is, like, our fights, they started out.

They started out quick.

When we were first got married, it was like zero to a million, 30 minutes, done.

We never talk about it again.

And it wasn't like a.

It was just over.

Like, it was good.

Like, not.

It was resolved.

It wasn't like there was lingering.

Wish you could bottle that, right?

Oh, my gosh.

Like, there was even one time she threw something at me and it was a tube of.

Of those clamps, the plastic clamps, you know, that for cars or they don't really work for that, but for chip bags or whatever.

Anyways, there's a tube of them and she chucked it at me from the kitchen.

I was in the dining room.

It missed me.

It hit the.

We had like a. I don't know, like a shelf thing and hit that and landed on the ground.

Didn't bust open or nothing.

Nothing happened.

And I was so mad, I picked it up and I slammed it on the ground and it exploded, like, everywhere.

I mean, there were clips in all of the rooms, like, somehow.

And we just like, collapsed in laughter.

But I think.

I think over time, just the.

The fatigue of doing life led to a lack of just all of this stuff.

Seriously, you know, like, it's.

Because when you first get married, a lot of times it's like, ah, this is a silly fight.

Why?

What does.

You know?

But then, like, now it's like, man, we've got all these fights or all these situations or all these things that we've been through together, and it doesn't.

It doesn't just anymore.

You know what?

How about this spiritual attack where you want to antagonize and push their buttons?

My wife calls that flirting.

I don't agree with it.

Well, I'm not just talking spouse here.

This isn't a marriage counseling.

I'm literally talking like somebody annoys you, antagonizes you, and instead of turning to God, you just go, I'm going to mess with that guy.

Yeah, what about that, Kevin?

What about doing that with me?

With you?

Yeah.

I don't do it with you.

I get frustrated.

You have done it with me.

No.

Yes.

What I've done is I've said, I've had enough of this.

Let's go.

Well, that.

That is a trigger.

That is a button.

I don't want to be done with it.

That's the point.

If one party is done with it, the other's not.

It's not good discourse, but it also.

Can be a trigger.

So.

But that usually leads to good conversations.

But, no, those aren't.

Those aren't attacks as I'm seeing them.

But maybe they are.

Maybe it's a blind spot.

No, no, no.

But.

But no, I'm talking about where.

Oh, you thought that was a good idea.

Let me show you why it's not.

And then it's my job to antagonize.

It is.

It is.

Until this conversation, it was a blind spot in me, and I realized that that antagonism in me is real.

And I.

And I like, intentional, like.

Oh, it's absolutely intentional.

Angry.

No, not at.

Well, you could call it anger.

It's.

No, it's more of a.

It's.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Yeah, kind of.

Okay.

It's more of an indignant response.

And it's like, so you want to play mental games?

Let's play mental games.

And I just poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, and watch the person start stewing, and then pop goes the weasel.

But I.

Far fewer in recent times.

Probably why it didn't come to mind early.

Thank God.

I mean, he's changing me.

Thank you.

But.

Yeah, well, I have a real antagonistic streak in me.

I'm aware of that.

That's on the intentional side of it.

But also, like, think.

I mean, I think I do it, like, in jest, but that.

That can be somebody's weak spot, too.

I mean, there's.

I've got a buddy.

We've talked about that.

I poke his buttons and push his buttons.

In jest.

But, like, at some point, you Take it to heart.

And I've been in that situation, right?

Like, even in our elders meetings.

Not recent, but in the past.

And I've had to be like, yo, I'm feeling.

I'm starting to believe this thing about me, right?

And so all it takes is something.

To hit or land just the right way.

Hit just the right way, right?

And you know what's funny is it's hard enough for adults.

We've.

It sounds like we've established that pretty well.

It's hard enough for adults to rib on each other or walk in a situation, and then sometimes things hit the wrong way.

How we react, whether it be with a spouse or whether it be with a group of friends or whatever it is.

What's funny is that I watched overseeing the middle school and overseeing the high school.

It's really funny to watch them think that they know what they're doing.

Especially middle schoolers are the worst at this.

They're the worst.

Because I don't understand.

Elementary schoolers seem to get away with this pretty well.

Middle schoolers, they will rib on each other.

And then something goes wrong.

Boom.

And it goes wrong.

Yeah.

Mushroom cloud.

And it's so bad, and it's wild.

And they think they can do it, you know?

And I have twin boys who are of that age, and, you know, one minute they're each other's best friend.

I'll never forget.

And this has been their life.

All it takes is one stupid thing between the two of them, and then suddenly it goes from best friends to enemies.

There was years back, there was a Thanksgiving at my old house that we hosted there.

And there was a small hallway between the room that the kids were sitting in and the rest of the house.

And I walk down that hallway, and I see the kids sitting there side by side, arm around the other one, watching.

I don't even know what it was they were watching on tv.

I was like, cool.

Everything's good.

I walked down the hallway.

Small hallway, maybe 10ft.

I passed my wife in the hallway.

By the time she got to the room, she saw one of them kick the other one away, and then the other one punched the other one in the face.

She's like, what is going on in here?

I said, I was just looking at that.

Like, it took.

It's that quick sometimes.

And so you see these kids trying to navigate this, and we get a little frustrated because they're doing things that they shouldn't be doing.

But we have to recognize we're not the greatest at this.

We can't Expect them to be able to navigate this.

And it can take, especially at their ages, it can take friends to enemies or ruin friendships.

Like high schoolers, I've seen them go through periods of.

They shed friends so fast they're loving.

Each other and then suddenly they can't be around that person anymore.

And it's wild.

But in that interface you have two demonic forces going.

Yeah, that's really.

That interpersonal space is where really the attacks come.

Yeah, it just takes, it's just gotta prick the pride a little bit.

Just a little, just the right way.

And then suddenly it's, you know, things hurt a little bit more than they're supposed to.

You catch that anxiety, you catch that fear.

Yeah.

In college they talked about it as fear cycles.

And you're supposed to break the fear cycle.

The fear cycle is, you know, you say or do something that triggers someone else's fear, so they react in a way that then triggers one of your fears.

And then you've got this cycle that starts right where your fears are triggering their fears, their fears are triggering your fears.

And then it takes somebody stepping in and being like, yo, hold up.

You know, like I was talking to you the other day about like, you know, gotta stop sometimes and just be like, can we break?

Right?

Like, cuz this right here is not gonna work out if we continue it.

Right.

Like I had told my wife that the other day.

Like I was like, I'm hearing this in a way that you're not meaning it.

And so pumpkin, the brakes off for a second.

And so like it takes people being intentional, paying attention for those things.

And I'm not good at it.

Don't hear me saying that I am, but by the grace of God, I'm starting to recognize some of those things in myself before, you know.

And the crazy thing is usually it's not an intentional thing.

Right.

Like they didn't say something that was intended to hurt you.

It was, they were just bringing something up.

And then like my twisted mind goes.

How do I know that?

I didn't know they weren't trying to take a shot.

Well, that in and of itself, I mean truly, that, that's a, that's an attack in and of itself.

I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I've.

I've had that thought.

You're bored.

I've told.

It's interesting because there's times where I recognize in myself that like, I need to go reset, like something's not right.

I don't know how I got here, but I need to go Reset.

And I need to remove myself and reset myself and come back.

And then there's time.

Like recently, I don't want to say who it was, just in case that person cares.

But I saw somebody in this building one time and I said recently, and I said, you need to go reset.

You need to go into that prayer room right now and you need to go reset yourself because you're not okay right now.

And then in my household, I mean, especially with as many that live in my household, I have seven in my house, seven to eight actually, because my mother in law is there.

Sometimes there's times where it's like, what has gotten into my house?

What is going on with everybody?

And I will call everyone in and like, we're going to reset right now.

We're going to pray together right now.

We're going to.

This has got to stop.

And.

You have to be willing to take a step back and recognize it and to try to capture those moments.

So that's how, actually that's how the family prayer came about.

The one that we do at the high school and middle school.

The family prayer came about because I said to my family one day, that's where the name comes that all right, we got to give it all up.

I said, everybody put your hands up and give it everything that's going on to Jesus right now.

And then bring our hands together.

And then while we were on a trip last year, I said, I want to introduce you guys to something because we're kind of like a family.

I wanted to introduce you to my family prayer.

And it was about giving up everything.

And that can be positive or negative, no matter how you use it.

And we use this around the dinner table on a regular basis, whether we're having a good day, bad day, whatever.

But yeah, it came out of recognizing that something's off and, you know, we got to change it.

Well, and that reset, and you were saying it before, kudos to you yesterday because you needed a reset and you reached out.

And I'm very good at giving advice.

I'm not very good at taking it.

So I have to figure out how to do that.

Take my own advice sometimes.

But the reality is, I think in order to combat the spiritual warfare, first you have to identify it as what it is.

Second, you have to pray intentionally about it.

I get on my knees for those prayers very, very much specific, trying to listen to God's voice in it too, before I move on.

That's my reset now.

And the more I, more I'm in the word Learning it is helping, but it is, as you've already said, both of you, you have to be intentional.

You have to be focused on it, because otherwise you let your guard down and you just get smacked.

Well, and I don't want to.

I don't want to skip the next one, but I'm gonna.

I'm gonna skip it for the time being.

I was thinking about doing the same thing and.

And because I want to talk about identity in that.

Because if it's hard enough when we know our identity.

Right.

Like my identity, being in Christ.

And I know that, like, it's hard enough when I'm sure of that, to deal with all of these things we're talking about, like, not being sure of it.

I can't.

I can't imagine.

Yeah.

So how hard this stuff would be to navigate.

So the lies about our identity and our worth, which aren't.

That is.

I mean, I deal with a lot of that with the kids, with the students, for sure.

Where they're trying to.

Because we're in a society that loves to label things.

And what's crazy about that is not only do we like to label things, sometimes we start to believe labels that are given to us and.

As if they're our reality, when in fact, nope, that's not who you are.

Trying to remain aware that we are gods.

We are God's beloved, and we are worth something because he says we're worth something.

Amen.

That we are special and special enough for him to lay himself down for us.

And there's huge power in that and there's a huge identity in self worth and that.

But the world's going to try to tell us all these other things that we are or are not.

And we start to believe that in a way that we just.

Well, without faith, that becomes a dark place because then you're looking at hopelessness too.

And you don't feel like there's any way to get out of it.

But I look at it and I go, yeah, that's a real problem for faith folks.

I think a lot of times it is expectations.

Even with the believers, because they accept Christ as their savior, they go get baptized and they think, okay, we are done.

We are good.

It's like, no, that's just the beginning.

Because when God calls you, he's calling you to be a servant and to have a relationship with Jesus, you have to be.

Be on mission.

He's sending you on a mission.

He didn't just call you to say.

I just called to say hello.

You know, he's like, he's calling you for a purpose.

His purpose.

So the attacks coming out of move.

I told our whole group.

I'm like, be ready.

The attacks are going to come.

Oh, absolutely.

That happened so quick.

Did you hear what my wife decided to do?

No.

She decided about eight or nine days ago that she was gonna read through the Bible in 66 days or something like that.

Oh, my.

Right.

18 chapters a day straight through from Genesis to the Revelation.

And so it's like, yo.

When my spouse is the one that's doing the Bible stuff, and I'm the one getting the spiritual warfare.

That's intense, man.

Because he's trying to use me against her.

Yeah, it goes back and forth.

I mean, I tell you what, you talk about calling a lot of people.

It is the who am I?

Question that comes out, who am I?

Moses was a who am I?

A lot of guys in the Bible were who am I?

I was a who am I?

Sometimes I'm still a who am I?

Who am I to have you call me to do this?

Who am I for you to send to do this?

I think I'm there.

Yeah.

Like, really?

Yeah.

This guy.

But the thing is, you know what God calls the people that people.

Don't look at.

God calls the people that have been rejected.

God calls the people that have a past.

And the thing is, who am I?

I'll tell you who I am.

I am the one that God told me, you need to listen and do what I'm telling you to do, and you watch what happens.

That's who I am, and I get to be that person.

The funny thing is, my wife should be so proud of me for saying this right now.

She is really big on.

I swear, sometimes she's a better pastor than me.

She'll be like, you know, you just got to keep switching the verbiage instead of I have to or what about this?

Switch it to I get to.

I get to go do this thing.

I get to go serve in this way.

I get to go.

You know, it's not that.

Should I?

Would I.

No, no, no, no, no.

Get, get, get.

This is all a privilege.

This is.

This is all a gift.

Amen.

Switching your mentality towards this thing is huge, and it can really help when it comes to especially your identity and your worth.

Who am I?

I'm beloved by God.

Who am I?

I was worth saving because he said so.

One of my favorite.

I listen to a lot of preachers, and one of my favorites is kind of famous.

His name is Alice Darebeg.

And he's a Scottish preacher.

He's in Ohio.

And one of my favorite things he's done in the recent years was he was talking about the thief on the cross.

And he says, basically, before he starts talking about the thief, he's like, we need to preach the gospel to ourselves daily and we need to make sure we're not doing it in the first person.

He says, because if you start any sentence with well, because I, he's like, then you're already off track.

He says, it's because he.

It's because of what he's done and that's what we need to preach to ourselves.

He says, what do you think the thief on the cross did when he got to heaven?

How'd you get here?

I don't know.

He said, what do you mean you don't know?

He's, I don't know, you know.

And he went through this whole spiel about, well, do you know this?

Do you know that?

He's like, no.

He says, well, why are you here?

He goes, because the man on the middle cross said I could come.

And it's really about what Jesus did.

Right.

So it's not as much about my identity is not necessarily me anymore.

It's him.

Correct.

The fact that I get to do these things is because he said so.

Because he.

Not because of what I've done, but because he's done.

Correct.

He called me to do this.

He said to do this thing, you know, that's why, you know, I love when I'm preparing a message and God gives me what I'm doing or gives me the insight I didn't have before, I get really excited to go and do it then.

Yeah.

You know the one what was a sermon.

Can't remember which one it was.

There was one I did not too long ago where I wasn't sure how to go about it.

And God's like, oh, it was when I did four chapters of Daniel at once.

Okay.

Yeah.

And I was like, I'm not sure how to do this.

And God goes, this, this is your outline.

And I was like, thanks for that.

Those are spirit filled and they're wonderful when they happen.

Yeah, I do it that way.

Gotcha.

Heard you.

That's your message, not my message, you know, And I get excited about that.

That's awesome.

Because I get to be the one to bring it then.

Well, I'll tell you, like, just moving along a little bit since we're a good amount of time in there.

Yep.

The last one of those, I want Us to just briefly touch is when you've been doing ministry a long time, fatigue starts setting in.

Right.

You start getting tired and you start getting worn out.

The whole idea of, you know, 20% of, you know, the people or 10% of the people or whatever does 90% of the work or whatever, 20%, whatever.

The longer you're in ministry, the more you see that.

And it's a blessing to see.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's a blessing to see.

Like I think our church has tipped that scale a little bit.

I think that in some areas that we've, we have a little bit more than 20%, you know, but it's when, when we are feeling that right.

Is an easy place for us to be attacked.

But that's also your pity party.

Sure.

I mean, hey, you're focused on self and you're begrudging the fact that others aren't carrying their weight.

Well, I'm not talking about that.

I'm just talking like judgmental.

When we're tired.

I'm not talking about when we're focusing on.

On the fact that nobody else is doing it.

When you're tired is when it happens.

That's when the attack hits.

Right.

Because you're overworked, you're doing extra and somebody puts something on your plate you weren't ready for and you go, ah.

And then you look over there and somebody's taking a nap.

Figuratively.

Sure.

And it's maddening.

But it's because we took our eyes off him.

Sure.

I mean, anytime that we fall into it, Right.

It's always because of that.

I mean, we'd be walking on water right now if our eyes were still locked.

But.

But often enough that they're not, you know, so.

But yeah, well, I mean, it's one of those things too where something we gotta keep in check is how we're perceiving all those situations even like that when it comes to our volunteers.

It's one of the things I'm grateful that before I was ever a paid ministry person of any kind, I was a high end volunteer.

I mean, I went from I just volunteer to I volunteer all the time to I'm running teams and I'm like the highest volunteer kind of thing you can get.

And the thing is, it taught me the value of those who have that kind of heart, you know, So I get excited and I try to keep that going.

Just get excited for the people that have a heart.

Especially when you find someone new.

Oh my gosh.

Not to wear them out, but get excited.

That Someone else is like, I want to do that, too.

Yes, Wonderful.

I just want to encourage them in that and not wear them out.

But.

Okay, that's fine.

But raise them up.

Right.

But as you speak to that.

That is the spiritual attack that they'll undergo is they stack so much on their plate and they get worn out, and then they pull back from the one thing they shouldn't pull back from, and that is their faith relationship or the disciplines involved in that.

Yeah, yeah.

Apathy.

That's why we have to remember there is power in the word.

No.

Sometimes you just have to say it.

You have to.

You have to seek the discernment of when that is.

But sometimes you got to say no, you know, or not.

Right now.

I mean, it's okay for us to answer things that way, too.

Always have to pray.

Yeah.

And when the stress comes, especially, it's easy to get distracted from all this stuff, too.

Always.

Because I know that's something.

Because I, you know, like, I like to point out that there's three main kinds of idols.

Control, sediment, significance, and comfort.

And comfort is the easiest one to fall into.

At least in my life.

I know.

I'm convinced.

Because when you're getting worn out and you're feeling and you just want some comfort, and sometimes comforts distract you from other things you need to be doing and including spiritual disciplines.

Yeah.

Sometimes it is the strife that keeps us focused.

That's good.

All right.

Let me lay on this plane.

So some things that we can.

I have anxiety.

Landing clean.

I know mine went up.

Are you watching those videos?

I'm not even a pilot, so.

Ask for discernment daily.

Right.

From not just God, but from your peers, from.

From those who are also seeking after God, because that.

That is a huge help.

Pay attention to the patterns of attack.

It's not.

It's not always the same way, but a lot of times it's the same thing that you're getting.

Yeah.

It may.

It may come from different angles, but it's the same weakness a lot of times.

Stay anchored in truth.

Right.

Avoid.

Avoid isolation.

Now, I understand there's a lot of people who are introverts and they need to get away.

Avoid staying there.

Right.

Because when you stay there, this is.

You're gonna be attacked as well.

So be in relation with your brothers and sisters as well.

Spiritual disciplines.

Pray, worship, read scripture, get together.

Regular, consistent consistency over intensity, because that is going to build that renewal of your mind.

Right.

That's what we talked about last week.

It was.

And if it's Something that you're willing to try.

Try writing in a journal, just your wins, you know, because Rainy day file.

Yeah, rainy day file.

It's a great thing, great thing to have with.

You know that you're not alone.

Right.

Spiritual warfare is normal.

It is navigable.

And that there are people that are walking life beside you that have probably been through similar struggles.

Right.

God doesn't always, you know, call the equipped.

He usually equips the called.

And so just know that, like, if you're in a situation, he is faithful and he's going to provide a way out of that situation if it's.

If it's a bad one.

So just know that.

Right?

Rely on Christ all the time because he is the focus.

As you were saying earlier, do either of you guys have any kind of final thoughts before we.

You know what?

If you want something to compare your life to, don't compare it to other people.

Compared to Jesus, the more you study him, how he operates, how he handles things, hold yourself up to that and that alone, because that will show you where in your life you may not be doing well, but it also will show you what you want to be.

And so when it comes to these things, recognizing attacks and how you would like to get yourself to handle them, study Jesus.

I mean, it sounds like the Bible answer, but it's so real, you know, read your Gospels even.

I'll tell you what, some people find a lot of really help from great renditions of Jesus, like the show the Chosen.

Some people, I mean, that helps them a lot when it comes to how to.

Because they watch how the guy portrays Jesus and like, man, I'm not that either.

And I'm like, well, I mean, that's helpful.

You know, he's trying to show you what Jesus would have done.

I mean, there's some artistic stuff in there, but it's, you know, study Jesus.

That's the thing.

I think you put a nice bow on it.

Cool.

Well, what's one area of your life where you now realize you need to apply the armor more intentionally?

That's the question for you guys this week.

Response homework.

Yeah, we've been trying something new.

Leave a response comment.

Don't forget to subscribe.

Like, share us.

Get your questions in.

Get your questions in.

If you want a cup and a shirt and what I was gonna do my reading things.

Oh, go for it.

Yep.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So before we head out, for those who have been reading along with us again, Ephesians 6 is one of our main areas of study.

So if you haven't read it, please do so.

And if you have read it, go ahead and read it again.

But also some really great verses come alongside that.

Revelation 12:11.

That's Revelation 12:11 and James 4:7.

I'll say that again, James 4:7.

Read those along with it.

Just think about what they have to say and how they could apply to that.

Any comments, questions of that, go ahead and put them in there.

But speaking of questions, don't forget the this next episode is about your questions.

Yeah.

Yes it is.

And also if you need something to listen to while you're thinking up what questions, Little self centered plug I posted on Facebook.

It's the only place you can find it right now.

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It's my latest song I've written and done.

I can find it on my text.

It is on his.

On your text, right?

It is on our Facebook page.

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Share it.

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You're dropping your album on your podcast.

It's a thing, right?

So don't have the whole album ready to drop yet, but I do have quite a few songs.

Some of these guys have heard it and yeah, and we need Plays for Days.

Plays for Days.

Yeah, it'll drive the podcast, you know, stuff up so that we can have that party at 2:50, yo.

So we love you guys.

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