I remember standing over.

Grayson's crib at 3:00 AM thinking, holy actual moley, I am losing my mind.

But then someone told me a sleep hack that no doctor or lactation consultant told me about, and it literally saved my mental.

Health.

By the end of this video, you're gonna know exactly how to get five to six hours of uninterrupted sleep, even with a newborn.

Now I know what you're thinking.

Sleep when the baby sleeps, right?

But that is not what I'm gonna talk about.

'cause girl, that advice is garbage when your brain is literally changing from sleep deprivation.

So let me show you what I did and what's actually happening inside of your head right now because.

Most people do not tell you even one night of disrupted sleep increases your anxiety and weeks of it.

Your brain literally can't process emotions anymore.

That's why you're crying over folded laundry and you are freaking out over what you think is not a big deal.

Hello, I am Trish Ware or Labor Nurse Mama, a 16 year high risk labor and delivery nurse and a mom of seven.

I've birthed six.

I've helped so many new moms over the course of the years go from breaking down in tears to actually feeling human again with this exact method that I'm gonna share with you.

So I'm gonna show you the controversial.

Somewhat.

Hopefully I don't get in trouble feeding technique that gives you that five to six hour sleep stretch and explain what sleep deprivation is actually doing to your brain chemistry and give you the nighttime protocol I used with Grayson.

But first you need to understand why your brain is betraying you right now.

Okay, so we're gonna talk about.

What is actually happening inside your brain?

Because sleep deprivation is no joke.

I always say inside the community, inside with my students and my members, that this is why they use it in prisoner of war camps because your amygdala, that is your fear center of your brain is in complete overdrive.

That's why you're checking if your baby is breathing 47 times a night and your prefrontal cortex, which is your logic center, has basically clocked out.

For the time being.

That's why you can't remember if you ate lunch or what day it is and your serotonin and your dopamine girl, they have clocked out for the day they've left the building.

That's why your crying because your partner breathes too loud or is chewing too loudly.

This isn't you being dramatic.

This is actually.

Neuroscience during pregnancy, your body floods with hormones that protect your sleep cycles After birth, those hormones plummet and at the same time, your newborn needs you around the clock.

This is like such a, a deadly mix.

It's a perfect storm, and your brain is right in the middle of it.

Studies show that even one night of disrupted sleep can increase anxiety and irritability.

And weeks of fragmented sleep.

Holy moly.

It affects memory, focus, and emotional regulation.

And I have just gone through this on the other end of the spectrum, y'all.

'cause I am in perimenopause and for about a year I was not getting good sleep and I was not myself.

And I didn't realize like the lack of sleep was the root of it all.

Your brain literally can't.

Process emotions or make rational decisions the same way when it's running on empty.

But here's what nobody tells you about how to fix this.

Okay.

So the method I'm about to share.

Is mine.

This is mine.

Okay.

This is something that most doctors won't tell you.

A lot of people won't, you know, tell you, but it is what gave me back my sanity and what I call it is the pump and cup method and here's exactly how it works.

So.

Let's say your last evening feed is around 9:00 PM You feed your baby and then you pump out enough for the next feed, and I always hand expressed, and this is the game changer.

You sleep through the next feed.

Now, I didn't do this all the time, but I did it regularly, so one of my kids or my partner would take that.

Midnight feeding, so I fit at nine.

The midnight feeding, they would use that pumped milk in a cup or a spoon or a syringe yes, babies can safely cup, feed, or spoonfeed with small amounts and it avoids nipple confusion, which is what I didn't really want.

So you then will sleep through the midnight feed and wake up around 3:00 AM for the next feed, which means.

You possibly got five to six hours of uninterrupted sleep.

That one stretch of sleep.

It's not just rest, it's brain maintenance, it's hormone regulation.

And it's the difference between surviving and like actually enjoying a little bit this experience.

Right.

And I've had moms from our community messaged me saying, Trish, I did this last night and I felt.

Like a totally different person.

When I woke up and one mama told me she hadn't felt that clearheaded since before pregnancy, that five to six hour stretch works because it allows your brain to complete a full sleep cycle.

Your cortisol levels drop, your serotonin starts to regulate, and that fear center, your amygdala calms the stink down.

Even one night of this can reset your mood and dramatically reduce your anxiety.

But here's something else you need to know about why protecting your sleep matters so much.

And girl, I know I'm saying all this and I know it's hard.

I don't want you to think that I'm like irrational that I think that you should be able to do this easily.

I know it's so hard, but the thing that a lot of people don't wanna say out loud is that.

Sleep deprivation doesn't just make you tired.

It can trigger or mimic postpartum anxiety and depression.

And I'm telling you, the last year has been one of the hardest for me with anxiety and depression, and it was rooted in a lack of sleep.

When you skip sleep night after night, your cortisol levels stay elevated and your body thinks it's under constant threat.

Your brain, it starts sending you scary thoughts, intrusive images, racing thoughts, feeling disconnected from yourself, from your baby, from your partner.

And you might start wondering like, did I make a mistake to have this baby?

And I want to tell you that's not you failing as a mother.

That's just your brain begging for rest.

And girl, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

You just can't.

It's like when we sit on those.

You know, plane safety drills and they say to put the oxygen on you first.

And I'm saying all of this from a mom of seven and a mom who did not have family in the area when she had her babies.

So I know for some of you guys, this is so hard and I just ask a friend for help.

Like, don't be shy in asking for help.

I remember after Elias, I remember.

Standing in the kitchen.

He's my baby.

Number three, it's 4:00 AM and I could not remember how to start a pot of coffee.

I was trying to make coffee for my ex-husband, and I was completely blank, even though I had been doing it for years.

And I was like, this is not sustainable.

Something has to change.

So as a labor nurse of 16 years, I, I've seen what happens when you just keep pushing through that severe sleep deprivation.

But I've also seen the transformation when you prioritize maybe even just getting help because sleep isn't a luxury, it's your maintenance, it's your hormone regulation, and it's emotional protection.

And I'm speaking from someone who did not have a good partner and did not have help, but I did have a circle of friends, so.

Let's talk about some other things you can do besides the pump and cup method.

So what I would recommend is having a nighttime protocol.

Now I'm just gonna tell y'all I slept with my babies, I slept with my babies, I did co-sleeping.

I'm not recommending anything to you guys because I'm not a sleep expert.

Not a sleep safety expert, but that's what this girl did.

Now here's some nighttime protocols.

No bright lights, no scrolling Instagram at 2:00 AM I see you.

Dim lights, whisper voices, minimal interaction.

This can help both of you fall back to sleep faster because you're not fully waking up either baby or mama's nervous system.

The other thing that I really recommend and, and this has always been so hard for me, especially when you have other children, you know, forget sleep when baby sleeps.

That's overwhelming and unrealistic, but maybe pick one intentional time when baby is sleeping, that you can sleep together, especially in the early afternoon because even 30 minutes resets your nervous system and gives your brain a little bit of a break.

The other thing you can do is contact napping if your baby only sleeps on you.

Take turns with your partner.

Set a timer.

Both of you get to rest in a safe, supported position.

You hold baby for two hours while partner rest, then switch this way.

Everyone gets some recovery and sleep time.

Now, when it comes to mental rest, I wanna say that that really matters.

Even if you can't sleep, close your eyes, do some deep breathing that I taught you for your pregnancy and birth.

Let your body rest, stillness.

Counts.

Put on a meditation playlist, put on some, deep sleep music, your nervous system benefits even when you're not fully asleep.

And sleep deprivation.

Yes, it's normal in the fourth trimester, but there is a line where it crosses into something so much more serious and you need to know when you need to ask for help.

So we're gonna talk about some warning signs.

If you are experiencing uncontrollable crying, that won't stop.

If you're feeling disconnected from yourself, from your baby, if you're having racing thoughts or intrusive images that scare you, if you feel a sense of hopelessness or unbearable resentment towards the baby or you partner.

Please, mama, reach out.

I'd rather you be safe than sorry.

Talk to your provider.

Talk to a postpartum therapist or someone you trust that will help you get help.

You're not broken.

This is so freaking common.

You are exhausted.

Your brain is begging for you to care for it.

Severe sleep loss is not something to push through.

It's just not.

It's a sign that you need support, even if it's like your mom or mother-in-law and they get on your nerves.

Ask for support.

That is being a strong mom.

You deserve rest as much as your baby does, and I know you would not let this baby go without sleep.

Okay, I hope this helped you some, and I hope you realize that sleep deprivation literally changes your brain.

And we don't want that for you.

I want you to prioritize taking care of you that is going to set the standard for the rest of your parenting journey.

As always, I hope you loved this episode.

Make sure you save it, share it with someone you know that needs to hear it, and leave a review.

Subscribe and I'll see you again next week.

Bye for now.