Do you feel like you're running on a treadmill, like you're working hard

but never actually getting ahead?

Well, let me just tell you right now from the beginning, you're not alone in this.

The paycheck to paycheck cycle is a trap, but let me just tell you right

now, it's a trap that you can escape.

And today we're gonna be exposing the hidden reasons why you're

stuck, and we're gonna lay on a clear path to financial freedom.

So get ready to transform your finances and your future today.

Well, hey everyone, and welcome to the live show.

Today we're gonna be talking about that frustrating cycle of financial shame.

It's why I do the show every day.

It's that feeling of constant pressure, that feeling of not quite getting

ahead, feeling like there's no way out.

We're gonna break down why this happens and how to escape it.

Now, right now, I wanna bring Craig into it.

Craig is joining us right now.

So Craig, thank you for joining me today, my friend.

How are you?

Uh, sorry to be late one of those days.

Hey, it's okay.

We all have days like that.

So, Craig, thank you again for joining me today and like I was saying, we're

gonna break down how it feels like we're in this constant pressure.

Of trying to break free of that, that financial shame that so many of us find

ourselves in and always quite feeling like we're just not quite getting ahead,

feeling like there's just no way out.

And today on the show, we're gonna really break down why this happens.

But more importantly, we're gonna start to lay a foundation of how we can escape it.

Now, I'm gonna tell you right now, we're gonna see a little bit of

a format change here going, uh, with the weekly shows every week.

Because what I wanna do, Craig, and I know you and I have talked

about this a little bit offline.

Is kind of refocus on what we covered in the last week of the shows.

We're gonna discuss some things we talked about, but this weekly

show is gonna be an opportunity for us to just go a little deeper.

And today we wanna start by how do you, how do you start

to break free of that cycle?

And I think the first thing we need to accept is this

isn't a short term solution.

Nothing we're gonna talk about today, or nothing I talk about on the show is

really one of those immediate things.

And I think you've gotta start looking at these things in the long term Now.

As it comes to breaking that, that paycheck to paycheck cycle,

there's a lot of people out there to think is, as long as I cover

the bills today, I'm doing okay.

But I think we have to ask ourselves, is that really living?

You know, ask yourself that question.

Is that really living or is it just surviving?

So today I really wanna go deep.

I wanna look at some real and some practical ways to do this.

We're not just gonna talk about numbers, we're talking about real life, we're

talking about real struggles, and we're talking about real solutions.

So let me pose this question to you as we get started here.

Let's start with the big question, and that's this.

Are we really secure when we're living paycheck to paycheck?

Now we might feel like we're managing, we're we're just getting by.

But in my personal view, I, I feel like it's just a dangerous solution.

It's kind of like you're going across this, this huge cavern, and you're

on this tightrope and this tightrope.

It's just one unexpected expense away from a complete failure.

That could be something like a car repair or maybe a medical bill, and then all

of a sudden everything falls apart.

Well.

I don't know about you, Craig, but for me, that's not security.

That's really vulnerability.

And today I really wanna help build, build a foundation that can

withstand life's unexpected turn.

So, Craig, I know you, you have a, a podcast called Live While and Flourish.

And I, I think one of the things you talk about on there, i i, is how

people can, can get to that next level.

So how do you think this lack of security and, and lack of, of

being financially secure impacts a person's overall wellbeing?

so it, to me it comes down to uncertainty and anxiety, which are two things

that are tightly coupled together.

And so there are really multiple uncertainties at play when you're

living paycheck to paycheck.

Um, Ralph, I'm sure you have experienced this, uh, yesterday the AC guy

was out to do a quarterly service.

Oh, that,

that is never fun.

Yeah.

And so a part had burned out and, you know, that wasn't too bad.

But then the old AC we've got two AC units.

The old one needed $400 worth of free on.

And if your AC unit needs $400 worth of free on that means you're

gonna need a new AC unit soon.

So I don't know, it's gonna be $10,000 or so.

Now, you know, fortunately we've been blessed and we can afford that, but

I had no idea that was coming up.

Now, that kind of thing doesn't make me anxious because like I said, we've

been blessed and have the financial resources wherever it does come up.

I mean, I'm not gonna be happy to write the check, but I'll be able to do it.

But if you're living paycheck to paycheck and you live in Louisiana.

And summer is right ahead of you and you're looking at your AC being out.

Just the threat of ac, the AC being out, I mean, that's a huge anxiety producer

and I, I think that's what a lot of it comes down to is you just, even

if you're paying the bills, you just, there's always something unexpected and

you're just gonna be anticipating that and that, that's the cycle of anxiety.

I. That, that's what I see as the big impact.

Yeah, and I think you're right, and I think it's all about building that

financial safety net, Craig, and that's what you're really talking about.

You know, are you getting through today, but have you built that

safety net, like you said, I mean, what happens if you lose your job?

What happens if your car breaks down?

Or in your case your AC goes out?

You know how many of us have had that same mo moment of panic

when this unexpected bill hits?

And that's one of the rings on the show I wanna talk about.

I think we need to have a mindset shift.

I didn't say that quite right, a mindset shift.

We need to shift from this survival instinct because I think all of us

live in that from time to time, that that survival mindset and we need

to move to that thriving mindset.

And Craig, one of the things I heard you say there as you were

going through that is, you know, it comes down to having a cushion.

It comes down to having savings, having a plan.

And that's more than just getting by because one of the things you mentioned

is the anxiety that comes alongside of that, and you, I think you very clearly

said, you've got that peace of mind because you don't have that anxiety.

Because even though it's gonna cost you, and I know exactly what you're talking

about, I guess I was about 21 years old.

I bought my first townhouse.

I was there, I think I've shared this on the show before.

I was there about two weeks, and all of a sudden the air conditioning just blew up.

And next thing you know, $5,000 later and, and here we go.

You know, that's, that's, so we, we have to move beyond that feeling of

just getting by and I feel like so many people are sort of just coasting

from paycheck to paycheck, but there's such a huge lack of security when it

comes down to that and, and how can you get past that and have that peace

of mind if you're doing it that way?

Well, and and when I was looking over the notes that you sent

me, I was thinking about what.

What does this make me think of?

And, and it's a trap.

I think you used the word stuck in your notes, and I

think that's the perfect word.

So it, it's almost financial quicksand if you're living paycheck to paycheck and

you know, if, if you're, if everything's set steady, you, you've, we've all

seen the cartoons and, you know, the b movies where somebody's in quicksand.

And as long as you're, everything's steady, you're in good shape.

But once it starts to suck you under, you start struggling and it

just gets worse and worse and worse.

And I think that's the feeling.

That a lot of people get when they're paycheck to paycheck.

I think you're absolutely right.

And you know, one things I wanna bring out here, and we talk about

this for a second, is it's not just about people who are low income.

I mean, I see this in people at all income levels.

I, I don't care whether you're making a $10,000 a year or $200,000 a year.

I've seen people struggle at all levels of that.

And I think one of the things we really need to focus in on, and if you really

wanna get past that, you wanna break out this cycle, you have to start

looking at those hidden root causes.

And I just, I wanna talk about a couple of those, Craig, and here's some that I, that

I mentioned in the show this past weekend.

And these are just three of the big ones.

That's that what I'll call lifestyle creep.

You know, emotional spending and the big one is really debt.

It's at credit card loans and, and how they hold us hostage.

And I think we really need to start by shining a light on these hidden

causes so that we can break free.

Now, Craig, you know, with your experience, what are some of the

most common hidden root causes you see derailing people's finances?

Well,

you, you hit on the big one.

It's the credit card.

Yeah.

And, and a, a practice that fortunately has kind of gone down a little bit,

uh, is that credit card companies used to be on all over college

campuses, giving away free stuff.

You know, you get a free UD or you know, Louisiana Tech T-shirt

or a tote bag or whatever.

Oh, and we'll get you approved and here you go.

Well, you know, the kid gets all excited and they sign up and that's that.

And.

And then they treat their buddies to lunch and then, you know,

buy their, their girlfriend or boyfriend a little something.

And the next thing you know, they've got a couple thousand dollars in

credit card bills at 24% interest.

So I look this up today, the average credit card interest

in the US is like 24.2%.

Ouch.

So I, I, I did a little math and if, if I figured this correctly, so

let's say that I've got that $10,000.

Uh, air conditioner.

So the easiest thing in the world is for me to take a credit card Sure.

And pay for that thing.

You know, I don't have to watch my bank account go down.

I can pay it off over time.

You know, it's really easy to do.

But at 24% interest, if I paid $250 a month, it would take me 82 months.

That's seven years to pay it off.

And the interest paid would be just a little bit more.

Then that original $10,000.

So it was you ending up paying $20,000 for a $10,000 air conditioning unit.

Absolutely.

And it's just so easy that, especially that minimum

payment, it's terrible.

No, it's absolutely true, and I see that time and time again.

It's almost like an anchor around someone's neck.

It just pulls 'em down.

You know, one of the other things that I see a lot of Craig, and I

don't know if you see this as well, is that what we call lifestyle creep.

You know, as you start to make a little bit more money, you eat

out more, maybe you get a better.

Car, you get a bigger, a bigger house.

And I don't know about you, Craig, but I, I've fallen victim to that at times.

I have to be honest, you know, it seems like, uh, you know, we have

a good year or, or a good time.

It's like, Hey, you know what, maybe I'll go buy that bigger car.

Or maybe, you know, maybe we can afford that bigger house or you

know, maybe it's something as simple as just eating out more.

You know?

I think that we just have to be aware of that.

Do you, have you experienced that yourself?

Some Craig?

Yes, and I'm, I'm a

little reluctant to tell this story, but I'm going to anyway, so,

well, thank you for your honesty.

When Tracy and I lived in St. Louis, we lived in a, a really great

neighborhood called Lafayette Square.

You could walk to restaurants and shops.

It was just a great place.

We had a lot of good friends there, and we would go out four or five times a week.

I'd get off work, I'd swing by, pick up Tracy, and we'd

go to our local restaurant.

So if anybody from St. St. Louis is listening, it's, it's

Squires and Lafayette Square.

Great place.

We started spending about $1,200 a month at that restaurant.

They were very sad to see us move, but you know that, that's one restaurant now.

We had a lot of fun.

We could afford it.

You know, we were, we were lucky.

And I, and I know that's kind of extreme, but let's do some more math.

So if you buy a fancy coffee and a pastry every day on your way to work.

Let's just say that's $10 a day, which is is way low.

But let's make the math easy.

$10 a day, that's a little bit over $200 a month.

So if you cut that in half, you've got an extra a hundred dollars a month

that you can do something with, you know, an emergency fund, paying down

debt, you know, whatever it might be.

But that's just cutting back a little bit.

And there are dozens of things in our lives that are like that.

Where we can cut back just a little bit and it'll make a big difference.

I absolutely agree with you.

And, and I think another component too, and I don't know if you've

ever experienced this Craig, and thank you for sharing by the way.

I appreciate you saying that because I, I think when, when people realize that

all of us go through this, it's not, it's not just the people listening, it's not

just the person who might be struggling.

Um, you know, I think, I'd be fair to say that Craig and I are very

blessed, but we've both been through cycles in our lives where, you

know, maybe we didn't make the best decisions or we made decisions that.

Looking back at it now, maybe it was, it was, you know, that

lifestyle creep a little bit.

Well, the other one I think, Craig, that I wanna mention here, and I

talked about that on the show this past week, is emotional spending.

And that's a tough one, man.

I, I don't know how many times I found myself, you know, kind of

feeling down, or, you know, especially right now, like I am so busy with

taxes and all that sort of thing.

I don't have a lot of time for it.

But then when I, when I catch some free time, maybe I'll pop one to

Amazon or something and say, you know, what's some tech gadget that I, that

I really don't need, but I could use?

And, and I feel like so often we.

We get ourselves into a cycle of emotional spending as well.

And, and I think there we really need to start thinking

about that needs versus once.

And I know you've talked about that.

Craig, tell us about some of the things you've experienced with

the needs versus once thing.

Well, I think I mentioned this before, but um, it, it's really

hard to separate those out.

First of all, uh, I do an exercise with my students.

Where we talk about requirements versus, uh, versus wants.

Mm-hmm.

If you will, goal, we call 'em goals.

Well, you know, on the surface we know some things are requirements,

but, but what about that new shirt?

You know, if your shirts are getting a little ready and it's important for

you to, you know, look professional at work, is that a need or is that a want?

And so I think some things you can put in the needs category, some things

you can put in the wants category.

But what I would encourage people to do, I. Is to focus on those ones

where you have to think about it and can you push some of those into that

wants, so you can defer a little bit.

Uh, and you may find that you really need it, but most of the time you'll

find that you don't, especially if you can make it more of a oh,

kind of a cold, rational analysis.

Um, the, maybe take a, a third party view, you know, if, if Ralph was giving

me advice on this, what would he say?

Uh, that, that's what I try to do.

But, but it's really, it's a lot harder than it sounds to separate

out some needs from some wants.

I.

It is, and one of the exercises that I recommended on the show last week is

maybe go through 30 days worth of your spending and simply just take each item

and say, is that a need or is that a want?

Because I think when you do that, and, and I think you're right Craig,

there are some gray areas in that.

There really are.

There are some things that you're like, well, yeah, that's kind of a need.

It's kind of a want.

But I think if you at least look at the analysis, do some analysis.

Of the situation, just go through your credit card statement or go through

your bank account for the past two weeks or, or the past 30 days and

just put an N or a W next to it.

Was that a need or was that a want?

I think you can really open your eyes to some things that you

might not have seen otherwise and,

and I've got a little technique that might work for people.

Play, play a little, what if?

What if I defer this purchase for 30 days or for a week, or whatever

makes sense in that circumstance?

Can, you know, do you, if you need it, do you need it right now?

So maybe you don't need that new shirt, or you can put a little bit more polish

on that pair of shoes or whatever.

I dunno why I'm on a clothing kick here today.

But, um, you know, just maybe you can defer a little bit and what you might

find is that okay, when you get to that two weeks or 30 days or whatever,

you really did need it, but more often you're gonna find that you didn't.

Absolutely Craig, and I'm gonna be talking about that on the show this week.

I'm gonna use a term called My Power Pause, and that's what

I wanna call a power pause.

It's a 24 hour hold before you make that decision to buy something.

As you just say, look, Ralph said that power pause.

I'm gonna apply the power pause.

And I think that helps you move beyond that, that that emotional decision.

And you really check your gut and you ask yourself the

question, do I really need this?

Or is this trying to fill some.

Emotional need and, and I think you, I think it's brilliant what you said,

Craig, and I think you've mentioned this on the show before, is park things in

your online shopping cart and go back to them two or three days later and say,

you know what I do, I really need this.

I I made it through my life before today without it, so maybe I can make it a

few more weeks or a few more months.

Or maybe I don't need it at all.

No, that, that totally works.

That totally works.

Tracy and I have been doing that this year and you know, for a lot

of things we've said, yeah, you know, I don't really need this.

Uh, now dog treats.

If it's dog treats, we just order those right away.

If we're low on greenies, that's an emergency.

I don't want those dogs coming after me, so,

no.

I'll tell you what, at our house, we've got a German Shepherd and, uh, chewy

stops at our place at least once a month, sometimes more frequently than that.

And, uh, you're right.

You don't get in the way of that.

There is no.

Cutting back when it comes to the dog treats.

But Craig, a few minutes ago you talked about breaking free of that

debt and, and you mentioned, and you didn't say the latte factor, but

I'm gonna call it that latte factor.

And I think one of the things that a lot of people overlook is those

small daily expenses they add up.

Do you have one of those you were thinking about, Craig, I know you, you gave us

an explanation, but have you ever found yourself in that same sort of that, that

same what I call the latte factor cycle?

I,

I quit going out to lunch.

Um, so I, I bring my breakfast and bring my lunch to campus with me.

And then, you know, I, I miss Ev every once in a while I'll go out 'cause

there's some socializing that goes on that's important, but you don't

need to do that five days a week.

And especially with prices the way they are.

I mean, you, you go to a fast food place and you know, you've

dropped a $20 bill or close to it.

So think about that.

You know, every day going out to lunch.

Well, can you go out to lunch twice a week?

You know, don't, don't think about big things.

These little, little things can make a big difference and they often

have secondary benefits as well.

Like my lunches are a lot healthier now.

May not be as tasty, but they're a lot healthier now.

No, that's absolutely true.

And I, I say this to my youngest son is a barber and you know, he sits around

the barber shop when it's not busy and he says, dad, you know, a lot of times,

uh, there's a Buffalo Wild Wings, a couple doors down from his, his place.

And he says, dad, you know, I just love to go over there and I can

get all, you can eat this or that.

And, and I said, okay, son, but you just drop 25 bucks.

And I said, you're making $15 an hour plus tips.

He says, dad, but, but you don't understand.

It gets, I, I say, I do understand.

I said.

I make quite a bit more than you.

And, and guess what I do?

Every, every day I pack a brown bag for lunch.

Now, for me, fortunately I can run over to the house.

I'm right here on the farm and it's not far, but, but I, I

very rarely go out to lunch.

And, and I, you know, it's funny, Craig, 'cause I have people, I'll come

in and do some financial coaching with them and, you know, most of the time

they'll bring a Starbucks cup with them.

And I'm not picking on Starbucks, but I'm like, you, you want me

to help you with your finances?

And you're sitting there with a $10 drink on the table.

And I'm going, how often do you do this?

You know, you hit on something that might be another good

technique for people to try.

It's, it's, how long do I have to work to buy this thing?

Um, especially if you start really doing it in the right way and you

take out mentally take out the taxes and you know, that sort of thing.

So if you're making $30 an hour, you're really making what, $24

an hour or something like that?

Absolutely.

And so you've gotta work for 30 minutes to buy that.

You know that coffee and donut?

Yeah.

Is this really worth 30 minutes of my labor to buy?

And if it is and you can afford it, I'm all right.

But most of the time you'll find that the pleasure that you get out of it is

not equivalent to the work you put in.

You'll, I think a lot of people will also find that they, um, they're

paying a lot for convenience, so being able to just go get that.

Latte is pretty convenient, but you pay for it.

You absolutely pay for it.

Which leads me right to the next discussion I wanna talk

about, and I talked that a lot, uh, this week on the show.

And that's an emotional toll we have here.

Like it's easy to look at the financial toll.

I mean, the financial toll's, easy to see.

My credit card balance is going up.

But let's talk about that emotional toll.

You know, that constant worry, you mentioned this a few minutes ago,

that fear, that anxiety, a lot of people are translated into feeling

distant from God and they, and they start questioning it was God

really giving me the, the provision.

And one of the things that, I mentioned this to my son on Sunday.

I said, son, when's the last time you prayed about your finances?

You looked at me like I had horns.

He says, dad, you're not supposed to talk about that with God.

And I said, yeah, you do need to talk about that with God.

Because the truth is I, I truly believe this at my very core.

God doesn't want us to be burdened.

He really doesn't.

He wants us to find peace.

Now that peace that he's giving us might not be the peace that

you think you deserve, which is a whole nother discussion.

We could probably talk for an hour about that, but Craig, how do you

advise people, you know, when you're helping them, when, how to deal

with that, that, that stress of, of finances, I know dealing with, with,

with, uh, I don't wanna say teenagers, but, but young adults in college.

I'm sure this crosses your path sometimes.

How do you help 'em deal with that emotional weight of that financial stress?

So

there are two things.

One, one is more actionable than the other, but, but I

wanna throw this out there.

So a lot of our suffering comes from attachment.

I mean, that comes outta Buddhism, but it's also in the Bible.

You know, we get attached to something and just the mere thought of not having

that thing can cause a lot of suffering.

And so if you, if you can kind of detach yourself from all those extra financial.

Things and, you know, financial resources and the benefits that they might bring.

You know, have you ever, let me be a little, uh, off point here.

Have you ever lived in a really crappy apartment?

I.

I did actually when I was first, I remember when I first was getting

ready to finish college, I met my first wife and we moved into one

of those ground floor apartments.

And, um, it, yeah, I mean, the windows were up at the top of the room and

I just felt like I was living in this constant state of basement.

It kind of had a musty smell to it.

And, and right, right across from us was the laundry room.

So constantly people down there making noise and all that sort of thing.

So I, I think I know where you're going, Craig, but go ahead, fill

us in with where you're going.

Maybe.

So I, I was, I was in Tampa a few weeks ago and, and went for an early

morning walk and found my old apartment from when I was in grad school.

And it, it was a crappy apartment there then, and it's an

expensive, crappy apartment now.

But I had the best time there.

It was one of the best times of my life.

You know, I didn't care that the paint wasn't all that great.

I mean, it was safe and the, you know, the air conditioning worked and.

That kind of thing, you know, now I've got this nice house and a pool

and pastures and all these kinds of things, and, and am I happier?

You know, maybe in some ways, but not so much in others and, and the

happiness that I feel now is not as connected to all those things.

So I, I dunno if I'm making any sense here, but I think sometimes

we think we need these things to be happy and you don't.

We convince ourselves that we need those things to be happy.

So that, that's really the, the kind of macro, the big, high level thing

that, that I wanted to mention.

But the one that's more actionable is just do something.

So we feel a lot of stress and anxiety when we feel completely out of control.

And so if you can do one little thing to start to take a little bit of control

over your financial health, you will find that you start to feel better.

You know, whether it's the, I'm gonna open that savings account and put whatever the

minimum is, or I'm going to, you know, cut the lattes down to twice a week or

three times a week, I'm gonna start taking these steps to take some kind of control.

We feel a lot of anxiety and stress when we feel like circumstances are beyond

our control, but your financial health is not beyond your control for anybody

that can afford to listen to this.

They have something that's under their control financially, and if you're feeling

stressed out, start to take action.

I agree with you, and I use an analogy on the show this week about bricks.

I remember when I first bought the farm here, I had a, an entrance

built, you know, one of these brick columns at the front end.

And I'll forget the guy came out this, this, the, uh, brick

mason to come out and do it.

And he says, alright, well we'll do this and we'll do that.

And in my mind, I, I kind of had an idea what that would look like.

And I remember Delaware Brick Company brought this big old block.

Box of brick or block of bricks, they were all put together with like, I call

'em cable ties, but they were metal cable ties and there was like three of those

and they dropped them off, Craig, and I'm thinking, I can't picture this now.

All I see is these individual bricks.

And I remember I was standing there staring at the guy and he probably,

I probably gave him a complex as he was starting to work, but I just

remember him taking that first brick.

And he set the first brick and then he set that second brick.

And your finances can work the exact same way.

It's as simple as taking that first brick and putting it into place because

think about how you feel right now when you're stuck in that financial

cycle, it's affecting your sleep.

It, it's affecting your relationships.

It's affecting your overall wellbeing.

And that financial impact is huge.

It can cause.

Arguments with your, with your boyfriend, girlfriend, your husband, wife, spouse.

It creates tension.

All those things come into that same thing.

And, and I just wanna share something with the group here today and that

is, I wanna, I wanna encourage you with this Bible verse, and it comes

from the book of Philippians and it's chapter four verses six and seven.

So as you're thinking about starting that out, here's a

Bible verse that you can kind of.

Put on a piece of paper and read this, and it says this.

It says, do not be anxious about anything.

But in every situation, by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving,

present your request to God and the peace of God, which transcends all

understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So really, if you think about that, take those bricks one by one, but realize that.

You can do this, you know, you can break free.

But it starts with putting those first bricks together.

And Craig, I like what you said.

Start with that, with that simple, you know, emergency fund.

Maybe it starts by building a budget, you know, not, and, and

now I'm not talking about a budget that feels like you're in prison.

And I talked about that on this show this week.

So many people hear the word budget, and I'm gonna transition here a little bit,

Craig, but they hear that, they hear that term budget and they think, okay, Ralph's

talking about going to prison here.

You know, because all they see is restriction, but what they

don't understand, and I shared this with my son on Sunday.

I said, son, do you have a budget?

He goes, dad, here we go again.

You're gonna tell me how to spend my money.

I said, no, son.

But think about the difference between restriction and intention

and see if you do budgeting right.

And I, I was on another show and this lady, she has a blog that she writes.

She actually lives in Kenya now.

Her and her, her and her husband are missionaries and, and she said,

Ralph, she goes, I'd like to use the word intentional spending plan.

And I told her, I said, Karen, I'm stealing that.

I'm gonna use that for the rest of my life because it's so true.

But that's one of those tools that intentional spending plan, like I

said to my son, I said, now all of a sudden, just like that brick mason,

he's telling that brick where to go.

He's putting it a budget, works the exact same way.

You know, you are showing that money, you're assigning that dollar

where to go, and to me, that's the ultimate level of control.

So if you feel outta control with your finances, one of the best ways

you can do what I call a game changer is to give every dollar a job.

It's that simple.

This, this dollar is this job.

This dollar is rent, this dollar is insurance.

This dollar is gasoline, this dollar is car payment.

And that is so crucial is if we assign the dollars a job, because you're right,

Craig, if you're listening to this right now, you've got enough resources

to be able to make a dynamic change.

But it only takes that first brick.

Well, that's how most people get into financial difficulties.

I mean, there, there are extreme cases where it's a big medical bill or something

like that, but the vast majority of people that find themselves paycheck to paycheck,

it happened one little decision at a time.

And you can unwind it the same way.

Just make one better decision at a time and, and you'll find

it makes a huge difference.

Wait, I know, Ralph, you, you've lost a bunch of weight.

Well, thank you for noticing.

Well, I meant if you have, but, but over your lifetime.

I know.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

There was a time when, there

was a time when I was, I'll share with the group.

Um, I guess it's about 15 years ago.

I went to the doctor and I got on the scale and I was 420 pounds.

Wow.

And I, my, my blood pressure was 200 over a hundred.

The doctor looked at me the eye and he says, you're going to pop, but go ahead.

I'm sorry, but, but I just wanna share with that because Yeah.

I mean, and it started by losing that first pound.

That's

right.

And so did you drop the a hundred whatever pounds in a month?

I wish, man, it's taken 15 years, Craig and I. It's funny you bring this up

because just the other day I, I noticed that I am the lowest I've weighed in 30

years.

Congratulations.

But that's 15 years it took me to get to that point.

What?

And, and I'm actually gonna relate this to that, giving every dollar its job.

So a, a couple of times I've had to lose a bunch of weight.

Um.

I got not quite that high, but I was north of three 50 mm-hmm.

For a while.

And what I found is if, if you write down everything you eat, it makes you

pause just long enough to be intentional.

Like, I, I had a birthday not long ago.

There's a birthday cake.

You know, they, a couple of us had birthdays around the same time, so

they had a little thing at the office.

I ate some birthday cake.

You know, that got recorded, but that was an intentional thing.

It wasn't, here's some cake.

It's like, you know, it's gonna be pretty awkward if I don't eat some.

And people, you know, went through a lot of effort to do all of this and

so, you know, I'm gonna eat some cake.

Now, I probably didn't need to eat as big piece as I ate, but that's intentionality.

And so even if, if you're not ready to have that intentional spending plan, just

write down everything that you spend.

I. Absolutely everything that you spend, and you'll find that you spend less.

I I guarantee it.

Yeah, absolutely true.

And I say this on my show all the time.

What gets measured gets done.

And if you write down everything, if you measure everything, and if you look

at every dollar as having a purpose.

Then, yeah, you can make a dynamic change.

And look, I didn't put that weight on overnight.

You know, that was the Krispy Kreme donuts and the Dunking Donuts around

here and the Pepsis at bedtime.

And so now, like, to be honest with you, Craig, like over the last

three or four months, I eat nothing.

After dinner I do, I do what I call intermittent fasting.

Basically from 7:00 PM till 7:00 AM I eat nothing.

And it's just amazing, like how much of an impact that makes.

But that's intentional.

And I think you're gra, I think you're right.

You know, sometimes you have to accept that you know it's not

gonna be perfect and you're gonna make that intentional decision.

You made that intentional decision to have that cake.

And you know what?

Now I'm Jones in for some birthday cake, man, you've set me up now.

But, but, but let's say that you only lost half of the weight that you did.

You're still a lot better.

You were still

gonna be a lot better off.

Oh, absolutely.

And it doesn't take much.

It doesn't take much.

I mean, and, and that's the same thing with your finances.

If you can set up, like we talked a few minutes ago about that emergency

fund, and everybody says, well, Ralph, you say you need three to six months

worth of your income for emergency fund.

Yes, that'd be great.

In a perfect world, that's fantastic.

But guess what?

If you had a hundred dollars in your emergency fund.

That's 10 times better than having $10 in your emergency fund.

I'll give you an example of this on Sunday, my son is so excited now

and I feel like I talk about my son all the time, but you know, he's a,

he's my youngest son and he's around town, so we get to spend more time

together and he says, dad, he says, you're never gonna believe this.

He said, look at how much I have in my savings account.

And he hands me his phone, Craig.

And this kid was beaming from ear to ear and he had a thousand dollars

in a high yield savings account.

And I said to him, son.

I'm so proud of you because here's the kid that I would've said spent money

that he'll never see, and now he's got this a thousand dollars savings

account and I'm like, great job son.

Now is that three months of his income?

Absolutely not.

But man, that is huge for

him.

Well, and you've hit on something really important.

I, I think a lot of people.

Look at where they are and look at what all the financial

gurus say should be the case.

And, and they think, well, I'm never gonna get there.

I've got no savings and you're telling me I need six months.

That's just never gonna happen, so I'm not gonna do anything.

And, and that's really a mindset shift that, that people need to undergo.

It's like, okay, I may na may not be able to get to this goal, but

I can get part of the way there.

And, and what people will find is that once they get going and feel

that, that, I know pride gets a bad rap sometimes, but they feel that

that satisfaction of movement in the right direction, they'll accelerate.

I'm sure you felt that with the weight loss where, you know, once it got going.

Man, it felt really good and you wanted to keep going.

And what you're talking about is momentum.

You know, and I use this on the show this week.

I mean, you picture this snowball that starts off real small and

it starts to roll downhill and it gains and it gains and it gains.

And you're right, Craig, it's so easy to have that defeatist mentality

of like, well, I'll never do this.

Save a dollar a day.

Yeah.

You know, save $5 a week.

You know, you might be saying, Ralph, that's, yeah, you can do that.

You know, and, and the thing is, I think it's important, and I wanna bring

this up now, is, and I, I mentioned this on the show this past week, it's

crucial to celebrate those small wins.

You know, and I think it's a lot of times, you know, we, we look up all

around us and we say, oh, you know, I'm, I'm not doing everything I could do.

I. But you are celebrate those small wins.

I, I remember going back to that analogy of the guy building the, the raw one.

He got a little bit done.

I was like, that looks really good.

And he didn't have but 10% of it done.

So when you pay off that small debt, celebrate that.

Now don't go out and get more debt.

I'm not saying it, celebrate it by going that way, but if you pay off a small debt,

celebrate if you save a little, celebrate if you stick to your budget for a week.

Celebrate these things.

These are victories and they build momentum and they keep us going.

And listen, I, I dunno about you, Craig, but I don't think you

should underestimate the power of celebrating because every step forward

is a step in the right direction.

And, and I think you're right, Craig.

It's so easy to get stuck in that quagmire of just being in the

middle of this cycle and you're like, I, I can't get through it.

That's why I really, so I call it shame.

Because you live in this constant state of shame, and I hate to say

this, and this is gonna sound very negative, but it's almost self-imposed.

Because most of the time now, I'm not saying, Hey, listen, if you're

disabled and you can't work or you've had some kind of traumatic brain

injury or something like that, that's not what we're talking about today.

If, if that's your situation, that's not what we're talking about today.

But if you have the capacity to do, if you have the capacity to work, if you

have the capacity to make good mental decisions, then you can celebrate

those things and that's progress.

It really is.

Well, yeah, I, I want to.

And kind of take off from there with two points.

One, one is give yourself some grace.

You know, God gives us grace.

Be a little bit like God and give yourself some grace.

You're gonna have stumbles, things are gonna go wrong, and, and that's okay.

Um, you can, you can let yourself slide from time to time as long

as it's not, you know, constant.

The other thing is you cannot control the past.

You can't even control the present.

The only thing you can do is control the future.

And so all that stuff that you did in that past, all the things that you

threw money away on, that's all gone.

So forget about that and move forward.

And so what your goal needs to be is to be better off tomorrow than you were today.

You cannot go in and unspent that money.

You just can't.

And so, and Frank, that's the secret sauce.

Now it's so much of the secret sauce because so many people get

stuck in their mistakes of the past.

Well, guess what?

The past is a pace.

You can't fix it, you're not gonna change it.

Start today just like a diet.

I I, I, there's so many times when, and I'm not an alcoholic, but,

but you fall off the wagon, right?

That's the an analogy I think all of us can understand.

Well, if you have a bad day, you eat too much, well, guess what?

The next morning is get up, get outta bed, do some exercise,

and make better decisions.

And, and that's one of the things that's so hard sometimes we

feel like the progress is slow.

But what you have to understand is you didn't get into debt overnight.

You didn't make these bad financial decisions overnight.

These things have been building and building, and you have to

just focus on the progress.

It's so easy to get stuck on that destination you might get in your mind.

Well, I wanna, I've, I've heard so many clients say this, I want to be debt free.

Hey, great.

Guess what?

You're not gonna get there next week.

You know, but, but you can make progress, you know, and it's about

celebrating that during the journey.

So, Craig, one of the things I want to ask you about, you know, how have you helped

others sort of, sort of encourage them?

What are some, some ideas that you have for, for enco?

Encouraging people?

Well, it, it's really that slow, steady approach.

I is that you, you need to just realize that life is a journey.

And you're gonna have your ups and downs.

You know, they're gonna be the, the successes and the setbacks,

and you just keep going.

Uh, and, and most of the time you'll be all right.

I mean, I, I've had a number of friends that have gotten themselves

in financial trouble and it's like, okay, what are you gonna do today?

I mean, I, I, I know, I dunno if we've talked about this, but I'm, I fancy

myself as a bit of a stoic, and one of their core ideas is some things are under

your control and some things are not.

And so forget about all the things this, this is my big message is forget

about all those things that are outside of your control, which would include

everything you've done in the past.

What are you gonna do now to take control of your financial future?

That's what you need to think about.

That's what you need to focus on, and that's what you need to do.

The rest of it, learn from it doesn't matter anymore.

Move on.

What can you control?

And then do that thing, even if it's one.

Tiny thing.

Do

that thing.

Absolutely.

And, and I think one of the things that we can do as well is we can encourage others

by telling them about our successes.

You know, and I think that's the one of the things that we need to do.

Uh, I I think we need to share with people.

You know, one of the things I say to people all the time is

say, we, we do a really bad job.

And I'm not picking on you Craig, but just in general, uh, it's

gonna feel like I'm picking on you, but I don't mean it education.

We don't do a good job of teaching kids how to manage their money.

It's just not taught well and, you know, and, and we wonder why they're struggling.

We wonder why they don't.

It's, it's funny, my, I I hired a new younger person to work for me here,

and she came to me the other day 'cause one of our clients came in.

He's really having a hard time with his hands.

And she goes, he wants me to write the check, Ralph.

She said, I've never written a check.

She.

And I said, well, you know, some of that's age wise, you know,

like they just don't write checks anymore and all that kind of thing.

But, but think about, you know, how can we, and one of the things I talked

about on the show this past week was how do we think long term and, and

how do we start building that legacy?

And one of the things that I think we really need to talk about is, you

know, how do we build that legacy?

How do we teach our kids about money?

Because listen, it comes to a point at some point.

Our kids are gonna be taking, taking care of us or helping us, and if they

don't have the tools to understand how to invest or understand how to

save or understand how to budget, man, we're gonna be in trouble.

Craig, what do you think about that?

No.

Well, so you said a lot there, uh, that, that, that's important.

So you can't outsource this to the schools.

Um, like what?

We have a, we have a personal finance class here.

When I was dean at Northern Arizona, we started a personal finance class

and actually created, um, a financial, uh, literacy simulation for Native

Americans that, that went international.

Um, got written up in like business week or something like that.

It was a big deal, but that's the exception.

It's not the rule.

You know, we, we have to take res, I'm not a parent, but parents have

to take responsibility, friends.

It can help other friends learn how to become financially literate.

Um, but it, it, the other thing is it's not that hard.

It really isn't.

I mean, it, it's a, when you think about it at its core,

it it's about intentionality.

It's about separating needs from wants.

It's about not trying to keep up with the Joneses or whatever the equivalent of that

is today, the Instagrams, you know, it's, it's a bunch of little things like that.

That will serve them, not only it'll serve them well, not only in their

financial life, but in life in general.

And so I, I, you know, you need to know kind of how to calculate

interest rates and or, you know, what interest costs are gonna be and how

to compare, you know, different kinds of deals and that sort of thing.

So there's some, some skills like that.

But I think a lot of it, uh, I'll go back to mindset.

It's this mindset around a few core ideas that really will do a lot of the work.

You are absolutely right.

And, and I say this to clients all the time, it's not rocket

science in a lot of ways.

It's pretty simple.

It's kinda like a diet.

I mean, we've been talking about diets a lot, but if you eat more

than what you expend in calories a day, you're going to gain weight.

Right?

It's the same thing with spending.

If you spend more than you make, you're going to gain debt.

Um, and if you look at it in those simple terms, like you don't have to be

a rocket scientist to figure this out.

Um, now you mean you need to understand intentionality.

And I think you need to understand impacts of decisions, which is

what you're alluding to There.

But this is not terribly complicated.

Yeah, I think the problem is so many people just don't go back and

look at where their money goes.

I think, I think if there's one big takeaway from today, I think

that's the big two takeaways.

So many people just don't understand where their money goes.

I had a, I had a couple in the other day and they're, you can tell they

make good money between the two of 'em making well over $150,000 each.

And they said to me, say, yo, Ralph, we really accumulated a lot of credit

card debt and we're really struggling.

And I said, yeah, it's funny because I said, it doesn't matter

how much money you make, does it?

They said, no, it's, and I said, well, let me ask you a question.

How much did you spend on eating out last month?

And he goes, oh, you got me on that one, Ralph?

He says, I knew that's what you're gonna ask me.

I have no idea.

I said, yeah, exactly.

I said, you have no concept of where your money's going, so how do

you think you're gonna manage it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

E Exactly.

Well, and, and I think there's another big message that we've kind of been

around the edges of here and that that's don't live life by accident.

I think a lot of people just kind of go with the flow, not in a positive

way, like, eh, let's go out to eat, or, yeah, let's get a new car, or

let's do this, or let's do that.

And they lack that, that intentionality and, and that probably creeps into

other aspects of their lives as well.

So I, I, I think that's a big message from today is.

Live with some intention, don't live life by accident.

No, absolutely right.

And I think that, I mean, intentionality is the answer, right?

I mean, it really comes down to that, which is leads me to my final

topic I wanna talk about today.

And you know, we talked a lot about being stuck.

We talked a lot about, you know, what do we do to get outta there?

But I also think we also need to look at.

What does that future look like?

What does that legacy look like?

And one of the shows I did last week was talking about legacy planning.

And you might say, well, Ralph, wait a second.

I'm just trying to figure out how, how to pay my bills this week.

But I think that it helps you if you have that goal, that you have that, that plan.

What does that legacy look like for you?

What does that mean for you?

What do you wanna leave?

You know how it, it's more, it's, it's about more than providing for your family.

You know, it could be something like, you know what, what is important to you?

And Craig, I don't know when you're working with, with young, when young

adults, and you probably don't get into these discussions 'cause they're so young.

But I think that one of the things that we can do is really start thinking

about what that long term looks like.

You know, and start early and lead by example.

And one of the things that I think that we can do is really have open

conversations about our finances because I think that's so important.

And one of the things that I see a lot of families struggle with is they're

not honest with their kids and say.

Because I, and I've caught myself in this too, you know, as the parent,

you just wanna be the provider.

You know, oh, we're gonna go on vacation and we're gonna do this.

But I think it's so important to sit down with your kids and talk

about, well, listen, if we do this, we can't afford to do that.

If we put the swimming pool in the backyard, that means there's

no summer vacations anymore.

Because the summer vacations three steps out the back porch.

And, and I think that we don't do a good job, and I, I hate to

pick on parents, but I think we need to share with our kids like.

What does things actually cost?

And I think that we're doing our children a disservice if we don't do that.

But at the same time, we also have to think about, you know, what is our goal?

What is our plan?

What do we wanna leave for our kids?

What do we wanna leave for our grandkids?

I think that is so important.

What is your thoughts on that?

Well, again, I'm not a parent, but I, I think one of the big things parents

can leave their kids, and this is gonna sound a little corny, is lessons.

You know, lessons and, and you're, you're getting, you know, you were kind

of getting into that with, you know, if we get the pool, we can't do this.

Well, you're teaching them that your choices have implications and, you

know, if we want this pool that's gonna mean some good things and it's

gonna mean some not so good things.

And okay, let's sit down as a family and try to decide what we wanna do.

Uh, and I, I just, I think that, um.

M maybe that's the big legacy we wanna be leaving the next generation.

I I, I do want to, I do have one insight though, on, on younger

people today that might be useful.

I, if you're talking to somebody who's younger, they will largely

not be as worried about money as, as we, were not as driven by money.

You know, they're much more driven by how they're gonna make a mark on the

world, what they're gonna contribute to the world, and that's fantastic.

So there's nothing wrong with that.

That's a wonderful thing.

But if you don't take care of your financial health, just like your physical

health, you're not gonna be able to say, have the same impact on the world as

if you do have good financial health.

And so I think that's a big message that, uh, anybody out there that's working

with young people can pass along as, yeah, you don't need to be a billionaire.

If you're scraping to get by, you're not gonna be able to go on that mission

trip, or you're gonna have to take the job that pays more, even though it's

less rewarding or you're gonna have to do this, you're gonna have to do that.

Financial health equals freedom and, and that's, that's what younger people

really want, and they're not gonna get that if they're financially unhealthy.

I think you're absolutely right, and it's not just about

getting out of a bad situation.

It's about transforming your mindset.

It's about changing that mindset, changing your habits, understanding

your relationship with money and being good stewards of what God

has given us because it's like you said Craig, and you nailed it.

I put this in my notes.

It's funny, you walk right into it.

We're not just aiming for financial stability, we're aiming for financial

freedom and with that financial freedom.

Gives you that ability to do the other things that are important to you.

And I think that is so crucial.

You know, you can be generous, you can do investments, you can leave

a lasting legacy for other people.

I, I really think that's so important.

'cause Craig, you're right.

'cause you get to a certain point, it's like the job doesn't matter as

long as you've got that, that baseline because you gotta be able to make money,

you gotta be able to pay your bills.

But I think that what you, when you get those things sorted out, you

know, one things I talk about all the time is, look, you are never

going to get financially ahead.

Or, or able to bless somebody else until you figure out your own stuff.

You know, you know, I, I say to these people all the time at church,

we talk about this at church, you know, how do we giving up?

I said, well, one of the things we really need to stress at church is

how to get people better financially.

You know, it's easy to say to 'em, stand in, stand in a pulpit on

Sunday and say, Hey, hey, we need to, we need to bring in more money.

We need to raise more money.

Okay, well, what are you doing to teach your congregation?

How to be better financial stewards so they can bless the, the missionary that

comes in and needs some extra money.

I, I think that's so important.

And Absolutely,

absolutely.

I couldn't agree more.

And I just wanna give everybody some next steps.

You know, one of the things that I wanna do with the show moving

forward is I wanna give people some ideas, some things they can do.

And so I wrote down a few things, ideas today.

One of the things I want to think that I think we really should focus in on.

I talked about it in the show this past week, is starting to build what

I call a financial awareness journal.

And that's as simply as making notes of, Hey, I saved this today.

I made this decision.

I put on that pause that I didn't buy something.

I decided to to, to brown bag it.

I decided to not buy that.

We're picking on coffee again, that latte.

And I think if you put those things into a journal, then you can see those blocks,

those building blocks, because you know, it's easy to say, well, I get to the end

of the week, I don't really see anything.

Well go read your journal from last week and look at those decisions.

'cause maybe Tuesday you decided I was gonna go eat

out and I said, you know what?

I could, I could pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and it

cost me a dollar in, in, in, in raw materials to make it at home.

I just saved 25 bucks.

You know, I, I think that's so huge.

I think the other thing is to get that intentional, intentional spending

plan, get that budget into place.

I think that's just one of the things.

If you don't listen to anything else, Craig and I talked about today, we

talked about intentionality, and I think that is so very important.

And what goes along with that is celebrating those song,

those, those small wins.

I think you heard Craig and I boo talk about that when you

have that, that small win.

It is a small win today, but those things just grow and they grow.

And like I, I use that analogy again, that brick wall when it was

done, man, I stood back on that.

I go, how did he figure out how to intertwine all those bricks one by one?

And then the other thing, I think you gotta keep your eyes

on the long game, you know?

And I think that's so important.

And, and you know, because as a Christian show, I think, you know, gotta keep

your faith at the center of this.

And, and just know, like I said to my son on Sunday, son, it's okay to say

to God, Hey God, I'm fouling this up.

Or, Hey, God, you know, help me.

I, I don't know how to, I don't know how to make better decisions and, and

I'm not one of these people that thinks that, you know, you're gonna hear this

boisterous, you know, this is God talk.

I, I don't think you're gonna hear that, but I think you will

hear subtle little whispers.

You know what I'm saying?

Craig?

I think you'll hear subtle little whispers.

How does any of that hit you, Craig?

Yeah, I, I think so.

Uh, I would agree with that.

And, and even the act of going to God with that sort of a problem, I,

I is a, a step towards control, but I can, I, I don't have, I told the joke

about the guy that fell off the cliff.

I don't believe so.

Let's hear it.

So, lemme see if I can remember this.

So this guy's on a hike, it's kind of a foggy morning and he

steps over and falls off a cliff.

And he grabs onto a branch, you know, just like on the cartoons.

And he's hanging there and he calls out to God, God, please save me.

And a little while later, somebody comes by and looks down and sees him

and, and runs and gets a rope and throws it down, grab a hold of the

rope, and the guy that's hanging onto the branch says, no, God will provide.

And so the guy with the rope walks off, but he calls the fire department.

Fire department comes out and puts a ladder down.

Come on, climb up on the ladder.

God will provide, and the fire department leaves.

But they called the search and rescue people who sent a helicopter out.

So the helicopter comes out, they deploy the ladder, try

to get the guy on the ladder.

No, God will provide.

Well, you can kind of see what's gonna happen.

Eventually he loses his grip.

He follows and he dies.

He gets to heaven and he goes, God, I put all my faith in you.

Why did you forsake me?

And he said, what do you mean forsake?

You sent you the guy with a rope.

I sent you the fire department.

I sent you the helicopter.

And so we've gotta be willing to take action as well.

Ralph.

I'm not sure you like that joke, but

No, I love it.

And you teed it up for exactly what I wanted to say next.

And I gonna encourage everybody listening today.

What's one action item?

Just one thing.

That you're gonna do this week to improve your financial situation?

Just pick one thing, whether it's the ladder, it's the hose, it's

the, the, the, the ladder hanging from the, the, uh, the helicopter.

Exactly what Craig's talking about.

I heard a preacher say it the other day and I thought this was great.

He says, you know, they talk about in the Bible how the birds don't

worry about where their next meal's coming from, but this guy was real.

And he said, yeah, but the birds got outta the nest.

And so you've gotta take that action.

You gotta do that action step.

Craig, I just wanna thank you so much, Craig.

You've been a great help today.

Your wisdom is very much appreciated and I just wanna

preview this week show's coming up.

This week I'm gonna be talking about budgeting.

We're gonna go a little bit deeper.

I'm gonna talk about breaking impulsive spending.

We talked a little bit out today.

I'm gonna be talking about that on the show.

We're gonna be talking about the first steps to building

that emergency savings account.

I'm gonna do a show called Credit Cards Friend or Foe.

We're gonna talk about how to use credit cards wisely.

And then I'm finally gonna kind of round out this week with talking

about planning for expenses, you know, planning for those expense.

You can see on the horizon, you know, they're coming.

I think, Craig, you may have had this with the HVAC maybe, I'm not sure

if that was a planned expense, but you probably had it in your mind.

Hey, this thing's getting to that age where it's about time, but we're all

gonna move forward on trying to break.

Out of that cycle.

So again, thank you for joining us today.

Remember, this is not a, this is a, excuse me, I got this all fouled up, Craig.

So what happens when you try to do stuff live?

But let me start that over again.

Remember that this is a journey, not a sprint, and I'm gonna encourage you right

now to sub subscribe to our newsletter.

You can do that by going to.

Ask Ralph podcast.com/newsletter and I'll share you a daily, you

know, just some information every day that you might benefit from it.

If you know somebody that can benefit from the show, maybe you know, somebody that,

that's dealing with some ti um, financial troubles, you know, and you say, Hey, you

know, Ralph can really help him or join us weekly when Craig and I do it together.

But I just wanna thank you so much and as I always end this show,

may you all be financially savvy and may God bless you as you.

Confidently and I, and I really believe this, Craig, you confidently break free

from that cycle of financial shame.

So we'll see you again next week.