E093 - Who are they REALLY? How To Reconcile With The Person They Are Vs. Who You Thought Them To Be

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[00:00:00]

In this episode, you will discover how to reconcile with the person that your ex truly is versus who you thought them to be.

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Speaker: Welcome to Heartbreak to Wholeness, the podcast helping you heal from the mindfuck of narcissistic relationships and move towards the secure, peaceful woman you want to become. I am your host, Bre Wolta, Relationship Clarity Coach and EFT Certified Practitioner. Let's dive in.

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Welcome back to the podcast. Here is what we are chewing on today. Who is your ex? Really, it's he the charming, attentive partner that you fell in love with, or the cold dismissive one who left you doubting your own reality and how can you be so damn cruel underneath it all. My guest today is a client of mine who has walked the courageous path of coming to terms with her ex as a narcissistic person.

Through our work together, she really has unpacked so much of what this means for her and how she's coming to terms with the reality [00:01:00] that he is and never was the person that she thought he was. And why that's so disorienting and such a painful part of healing from a narcissistic relationship.

So from this episode, you will discover the survival mechanisms that keep you holding onto hope. How to grieve someone who's still alive, but who's never who you thought they were. And how to reclaim control of your mind and your life post separation.

And be sure to stick around to the end of the episode where we will pull an Oracle card with a specific message that you can use this week to stay more conscious in your relationships and your healing

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bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: I love when I get an opportunity to talk with clients of mine about their experience because it speaks so directly to what the listener is experiencing. And to know that you're not alone in what you're experiencing is part of my whole mission with the podcast and my business. So what we're talking about today is [00:02:00] the mind fuck

around trying to reconcile the truth of who your ex really is,

when you start to see them for who they really are compared to how they portrayed themselves in the beginning.

So I'm curious if you could share, maybe paint with us, paint us this picture of. What did, what did the qualities look like that your ex-husband had in the beginning and how did that shift over time, or how did that end with you guys?

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: That's a very good question and, and I just wanna start by saying that when we met, I was very young. I was still in my teens and very, very inexperienced. Um, and so it was all just going on emotions and feeling like, I think. Probably love bombing is what what one would say was happening. And I'd never felt that before from anybody.

So it really almost didn't matter who it was, but it just felt really great, you know? I think in the beginning, um. I, yeah, I [00:03:00] probably put a lot of my own projections onto him as well. So I would maybe think like, oh, he's this type of a guy, and, then I would find little clues in his personality that would kind of show me, that I was correct in my assessment.

You know, and this is all kind of in a subconscious way, I think. Not, I never, I never thought about any of this stuff until. , I started working with you, uh, but like a year ago. So, there was a lot of lovely attention on me, very sensitive. , He's an artist so there was a lot of, you know, like really passionate moments and kind of swept me off my feet and, kind of segueing, uh, 'cause we were together for a very long time, so,

until we had our kids, it was all very, like, all about me and all about him and all about us, and it was wonderful. And then, you know, once the kids were born, it was pretty wonderful at first. A lot of really good kind of taking care of the kids, the babies I should say, when they were babies, [00:04:00] especially at first.

Um, and then I think your question was how, how did that shift, you know, towards the end? . I would say in the last really 10 years, but then, uh, pretty intensely the last five years of our relationship, things started getting really negative towards me,, in terms of treatment. I was kind of the scapegoat for all of his problems, for all of the reasons why he didn't succeed in his career or why he didn't start his career.

I was the reason for anything that kind of went bad, uh, in my life or our family, li family's life or, or whatever. And then he started really pushing on me to, , do things that were out of my comfort zone. Um, and would not take no for an answer. So, whether it was like, let's go on a super expensive vacation somewhere, and if I said, you know, if I kind of pushed back a little bit, it was, you know, basically it wasn't worth it for me to push back.

So I would just do those things and kept doing those. So by [00:05:00] the end, um, I'd say it was quite different from how it was in the beginning. Just kind of the opposite of everything.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Yeah, like

the literal, exact opposite, right?

being adored and swept off your feet and likely being told that you're, you know, the love of his life and doesn't wanna live without you, to then

being the problem and being,

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: right.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: almost silenced in, I feel like

I can't have an opinion because if I do, it will cause more problems.

It's just easier to,

to not rock the boat.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It went from, you know, we're soulmates and there's only one true love in this world to you are the reason, and I will try to destroy you.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: What was

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yeah.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: what was happening in,

your mind? What was your thought process as the as you were starting to see

that shift?

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Well, I mean, I don't know if this will resonate with your listeners, but I was just trying to do anything I could to keep things, um, in this kind of stasis, you know, type. [00:06:00] Setting. So I, I just, I'm not a big confrontational person, so I just was trying to appease and appease and appease, where the bar would keep getting set higher and higher and higher, and I would appease more and appease more and be more out of my comfort zone and more outta my comfort zone.

And just, just in the attempt to keep things together, keep the family together, keep him happy, basically is what it started becoming, was like, as long as he's happy. The rest of us can breathe and relax. So my, yeah, my kind of frame of mind was not at all, not even concerned about the kids as much as I should have been.

And that's how screwed up that was, you know? So,

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: It, it was almost

like you were in

a survival state. It sounds

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: yeah,

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: like, like there wasn't a lot of for you to be self-reflective about what was happening

because the, the, energy of the environment that you were in was very much.

Feeling unsafe, either, you know, cognitively or, or, um, consciously or [00:07:00] unconsciously. And so you were just,

what it sounds like is you were in go mode, like

Try to avoid any problems that can make this worse. And there wasn't a lot of thinking that was happening between, I guess thinking

around his behavior.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Oh no, no. Reflection on how his behavior was affecting myself, but more importantly the kids too. Like it was exactly what you said. It was always anticipating kind of how he might react to a potential problem. So if I knew we were gonna go, this is just not a real example, but like, we were gonna go visit, you know, his in-laws, so my parents, and that was kind of a stressful thing, uh, in three weeks.

So I would kind of calculate when that would be, that I would mention it to him that we would be doing this or you know, could we do this? And then I knew that once the idea kind of was proposed from that point on, it was just gonna get worse and worse and worse until the actual event. Um, so yeah, there was a lot of [00:08:00] constantly, almost like a, I feel like an a general in an army or something where you're constantly trying to figure out what the other army's moves are gonna be.

So it's very strategic thinking and not at all having any space to reflect on myself or the kids and how it's affecting us.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: How exhausting.

The exhaustion,

like the anticipating their next move and needing to create the safe experience and there are just so many

mental tabs open all of the time

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Right.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: we're types of relationships. It is so amazing that we are, that we are capable of, of that much. It makes total sense why when we start to come out of these

relationships, we're so tired.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: yeah. So tired. And so, um, I remember when I first went to work. After he had left. , And I, you know, I, it used to be something that would kind of always fill me with some kind of dread. Either very apparent dread, like Uhoh, what's he gonna say now that I'm leaving the door, leaving out [00:09:00] that the house, , or.

Just in the back of my head, you know, and when, oh no, there were times of course that there was nothing wrong when I left. Like he was totally fine or he wasn't even there, you know, when I left for work. But it had happened so many times that it was totally ingrained. And so when he finally left and I went to work and I just left the house and said bye to the kids who are older, now, like a little bit late teens.

Um. It was just so weird. I had these, I guess what you would, consider what you would call it, PTSD or something. So it was just kind of like, oh my God, okay, I'm leaving and nobody's yelling at me, nobody's saying anything. Nobody's mocking me that I'm going to work. This is weird, you know? And that stayed for a while.

Even. Even now, it's been. 15 months or something. And even now, just something as simple as going to the store and not having to explain why I'm going or when I'm gonna be back or where I'm going or what I'm gonna get. Or maybe I should get something for [00:10:00] him so that it makes a good excuse for me to go to the store to get that thing.

You know, it's like all of those little tiny, um, like you said, keeping the tabs open. That was a great way of saying it. Those are all closed, , and I can just. Go.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Yeah. it is when we talk about like

stepping out of the chaos, it, it can feel a little

boring at times when we're like, oh, I don't have to manage 4,000

things like this. It kind of

throws you off balance a little bit in that

new, new normal. I.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: It really does. Yeah. And you're always discovering new things about yourself now, which is really nice and kind of jolting at the same time. Yeah,

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: you have a lot more time now to be introspective,

To get,

to understand.

It sounded like the

relationship really got to this place, like you said, where you're, you're, you kind of had to mentally check out and we're just in survival mode of how do I make it through the day?

How do I keep myself. Safe. How do I keep the kids safe from any other conflict that's happening? And in [00:11:00] the coaching program, we talk a lot about potential land for the woman listening that's like, what is potential land? It's something that I have coined this term that makes so much sense to me

of like this fantastical place that we go to in our mind where everything is gonna be okay.

We're finally gonna start communicating better. We're gonna stop fighting. Maybe he's going to therapy, maybe we're going to couples therapy. It's the, all of the outcomes that you want are happening in potential land. when we are living in potential land, we can not have to really acknowledge the, the depth of the reality that we're, so tell me what your

experience was with potential land

versus reality land.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yeah, they're, they're very different places. You have to drive really far to get from one to the other. Um, uh, it's hard because, you know, I, I would imagine most of your viewers are maybe in some somewhat similar to, to myself and to you, just from the mere fact that we're [00:12:00] women, where I am, I'm a very optimistic person, and so I, I.

Maybe to an extreme where I always feel like it's gonna get better if today is not so great, it's okay because tomorrow's gonna be better. It's a new day. There's new opportunities to do things and you never know what's gonna happen. And it's like, it's like a nice happy little lala land to be in.

And, um, I'm also a very gullible, gullible person, and so I tend to believe what people say. , So that, that. Ties right into the potential land. You know, it's like free admission to, to potential land. It's like all you have to do is tell me who you are, even if it's not you. , All you have to do is tell me what we're gonna do in the future.

All you have to do is, , portray yourself in a certain way. Um, that may not be how you really are, and I'll believe it. You know, and then when things aren't really working, it's like, what? Like I said, like I'll just keep working on it. I'm also very stubborn, so I'll, I'll keep, keep going and keep going and keep trying [00:13:00] to fix it and thinking like, if I just do the big blowout party, you know, on a random Tuesday night, it's gonna be great.

He'll be happy.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Yeah.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Um, and, and it, it actually sadly took both of my daughters who, telling me. When he asked for something really extreme, that I was super uncomfortable with, uh, they said, mom, it's not gonna change anything. And to hear your kids saying that

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Mm-hmm.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: tears to my eyes. And also was like the wake up call that I needed to hear.

And it was like, man, if, if they're saying this, wow. And you know, they're. Much, much more than half my age. You know, and they're, they're realizing this already. They've, they've already seen it, you know? So the, the difficult part for me, I had this, this moment of realization where, um, I.[00:14:00]

I realized when my body was reacting in a way that I had no control over, where I was literally just shaking, my whole body was shaking. Maybe it was something similar to if you've had a car crash and you get outta the car and you realize that you just almost died, you know? And that was what was happening to my body.

I was driving and I could barely hold, hold the steering wheel, and it was just like a total. Body response that I had no control over, and it lasted for like an hour. Um, and that was kind of my, I think my entry into reality land. But it, it really, I even at this point, 15 months later, I'm still processing it.

And I've worked with you and I've read a lot and, , listened to tons of, you know, YouTube videos and things like that. Um. But it, it's still something that I cannot understand how somebody can treat somebody else like that, just at all. Even if it's a random stranger. How can [00:15:00] somebody treat, you know, anyone like that who they love and it's not like an occasional like, oh, I got angry and stormed out of the house type of a thing.

It's not that, of course we all have emotions, but, , these are quite serious, ways that I was treated that were. Uh, very negative. And so even to this day, 'cause I know that, he has said things like that he wants to get back together with me through our kids. Um, I just think now, at least I'm at the point where I'm like, why would he ever think that is something that is even on the table when nothing has proven itself otherwise?

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: I am so grateful that your, your daughters were able to hold that, that mirror and you were able to receive what they were saying. And that that was the thing that kind of shifted you from the potential land into like, oh my God, this is, this is reality. Because it takes a while for us to be receptive to see that, to get to [00:16:00] that place.

Two things that you said that were really, really important. being that you wanted to believe what he was saying, and the second being that you wanted to just try to fix it. That you thought that Just one more, one more attempt at something would be the thing that could turn the whole relationship around. And what's important, or what I want the listener to hear there is that we are all thinking that when we're in these relationships, right? It's like, but he, well, he's telling me that he's empathetic. He's telling me that he really cares about people that means he does. . We often stop there instead of evaluating, well, what is the behavior saying If he's telling you that he cares about people, but he's being verbally abusive potentially in, in this example, that's not an example of how somebody acts when they care about people and to, to be able to like. Again, have that to be

discerning and that ca [00:17:00] capacity to be introspective is hard when you're living in the,

the survival of it all. But I, I don't want women to feel, 'cause I know I had a lot of judgment around myself when I was looking back on my relationship of like, well, why didn't I see this?

Or, and there was so much benefit of the doubt that happened and so much of me thinking that I could just. Fix it. I could just take responsibility and change the thing

that was not gonna make him upset

anymore. And we don't, we don't have that much power or control over people.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yeah, I mean, I think you're right. It's, we ultimately cannot change anybody unless they want to change themselves.

And that's, that's the hard part. And, and it wasn't that I was even trying to change him. I was just trying to take away the, the anger and the the rage that was, um, shown towards the kids, uh, by appeasing him.

Um, as far as to people, it's, that's, uh, and saying. Um, I don't know if that's just something that, you know, one is [00:18:00] born with. Uh, I, I do have friends that are very discerning and, you know. With their relationships, they're always like going over everything with fine tooth comb.

And I, I don't think I'm gonna ever be like that either, to, um, just to kind of be able to step back. I'll just take one step back and, and just make sure that the actions are actually, um, following what is being said. And, and that would be a very simple way to kind of almost look at it logically.

So, and I think as we get older it's a little easier to do that as well. It's like I'm not gonna give my energy to somebody who is consistently treating me in a way that I don't wanna be treated. That's just not worth it.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Yeah. And you had mentioned not being able to understand, right? We don't understand how people can be

cruel, how they can be manipulative, how can

they, how they can be intentionally moving us around to benefit themselves.

How are

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Hmm.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: How are you [00:19:00] coming

to some acceptance around

that being his truth, this being really who he is and not the person that you thought you were with.

Yeah.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Oh, that is really hard. That is a really, really difficult one for me because it, I think a, it would mean that everything was possibly kind of, not a lie, but like,

kind of a lie, you know, um, for 30 years. Um, but then, you know, I had a friend who I was talking with and. They were like, they just said very bluntly, and I'm sure you've said this as well, that you don't have to understand.

So

I'm trying to come to grips with that. But I'm kind of a person that really likes to understand how things work and why they work. And I guess that includes people as well. Like what are the people's and um, you know, and in a way I think I've kind of gotten more into that now 'cause I'm, I'm a little bit hesitant and worried that like.

You know, I'm, I'm clearly not able to read the but I, you know, I'm also [00:20:00] yeah, I, I do wanna keep my little bit of, you know, naivete that I have and innocence and optimism because I, I think without that, it's easy to become, you know, to become bitter or just like a grumpy person.

And I don't wanna. that either. So, um, I think I'm just trying to be a little bit more discerning and, and like I said, just watch what people do and not what they say, but um, I'm, I'm trying just to forego that and realize that I won't understand and I don't need to understand, but I really want to.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: I know, of course we wanna, we, It is so natural to want to understand, right? we are

meaning making machines and we need.

Something to make sense in order to like put it to rest. That's so human And it can be a both end, right? We can intake some information around narcissistic people kind of understand their workings and, and potentially that they're looking for the validation.

They're looking for [00:21:00] control like understanding that to a extent that we try that we can. And processing what it felt like to be with somebody who is capable of that. That's how you and what we've done in our sessions, that's how you unlock the emotional charge, the

emotional like imprisonment that we have around

these experiences to be able

to eventually. Be on a podcast and be talking about this, where you're not breaking

down in tears, where you're

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yeah.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: in the hysteria of

why could he, how could he, I don't understand. Right. You've, you've, you've transmuted that energy

into I'm, I'm more on the acceptance level of things. Maybe I don't fully understand because I'm, I'm not that person,

but I've understood enough that it's

allowed me to come to this place that feels

like more solid.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Right, right. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's not, it's not quite as much, um, bouncing around of emotions between [00:22:00] anger and upset and rage and how could he and all these kinds of things and, and. Kind of got come full circle a little bit. And I think there's still a lot, a lot of work to be done to process everything, but to start being able to take care of myself and of course to really be there for the kids and to understand that that is where the future lies.

And not looking back at trying to understand something that happened in the past and to, yeah, just to say, okay, well that happened. That was one chapter of my life. Now moving forward to another one, and hopefully I'll be more discerning um, yeah, I, I, I'll just be able to spot some red flags before

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Well, you have a lot more knowledge now. You have a lot more experience, more right? When we look back on our experiences

with the intention of bringing that knowledge forward,

that's how we, how we pull wisdom.

That's how we become

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Mm-hmm.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: something. And

so you have, you have looked at, you have processed

your [00:23:00] relationship in a way that allows you to take with you those, those

golden nuggets that you need

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Right.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: and leave

behind the self-judgment, leave behind the. the.

what ifs. How could hes, and like you said, really be able

to be

present for your kids

and to be the mom with the full capacity that maybe you didn't have

when they were younger.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: I mean, that's a big one. That's a huge one. And I would say I don't really have a lot of regrets in my life. Even this relationship is not necessarily a regret, but you just nailed the, the feeling that I do have is the regret that I couldn't be fully who I. Wanted to be for the kids. And that includes visiting family more often because I was worried it was gonna, how it was gonna affect him, it includes visiting far away family, have family that live in other countries and just not doing it until the kids were much, much, much older.

So not giving them those experiences, not continuing to [00:24:00] pursue things, , for the kids in terms of afterschool activities, because I was worried it was gonna be too much. For him and taking them out of, you know, activities that were very beneficial to them, but were very time consuming because how that was gonna affect him.

And so tho those I would say are my only regrets, but it's a huge regret because you do think that the, the trajectory every child's life could have gone very differently. And that's it.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: So much of the self-compassion has to come in when we are healing and looking at our past objectively. Because

you made the choices in the moment

that felt like the choices you had to make and

like so much

compassion for you in that

experience

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: that's a hard one.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: is, this is not something that you just like

up tomorrow and feel okay

about everything,

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yeah.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: little

moments of being

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Yes.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: remind yourself of. That that version of me made that choice because of this. That made perfect sense at that time. Yes. [00:25:00] Now

looking at it in hindsight,

I see it differently and would've chosen differently potentially, but that's a good way to keep us beating

ourselves

up for

our whole

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, and that's, that would be if I kept beating myself up for too long, uh, that would also then affect the kids. And that kind of goes back to, well, he kind of did this.

to

me, which is now affecting the kids. So I don't want that to continue for sure. So I'm very mindful of that, but it's it's a lot for sure.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: For, what would be your wisdom that you wanna share with the woman who is in this position now, who's starting to see her

ex's true colors and is like,

what the hell was that? Was any of this real, how do I make sense of this? What,

what wisdom do you want her to

hear?

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: I would say, just literally trust your gut, which sounds stupid because, you know, we don't really have a gut when you're in the middle of all this stuff, but there's still a little, tiny, tiny little bit of [00:26:00] yourself, I think, always that is telling you that there's something not quite right.

So maybe just to, to trust yourself and to not be afraid. I'm, I'm somebody who's kind of in a. Public position and you know, nobody in my family has gotten divorced. Um, so like literally nobody at all an extended family. So I was very, very concerned with the perception of how it would, how my parents would take it, how, you know, my siblings would take it.

And they've been surprisingly so supportive and wonderful. So I think, I mean, I'm not saying that this is gonna be everybody's experience, but you know. It's a huge change. It's a huge shift, and you don't know what's gonna happen. But if you know that the situation that you're currently in, if that is just not working at all, then that is not the right situation for you.

You don't know what the other situation is gonna be, but you know that the situation as it is, is not for you. So either that means intense [00:27:00] therapy for yourself, intense reading for yourself. Couples therapy if you can. He, uh, you know, my ex didn't wanna go to therapy at all, so that was a, a problem, but I started just kind of doing things on my own.

Just little, just one little step. You know, maybe it's like taking a walk by yourself and just doing it by yourself and it's just a five minute walk and that's it. Just a little bit of freedom, , to do things for yourself. I think

will, will help. Just having some time with no noise as well, just no, nothing, just walking.

Not even any music, you know, in your headphones. Just walking and listening to, to, everything around you to nature and stuff like that, I think is also very helpful. Very calming, living in a big city. Uh, I don't hear a lot of that,

but I do have my ways.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: Finding some presence and

We, we can start to tune back into ourselves when we are in a present [00:28:00] state,

not in a survival state.

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: You're right.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: say is like find some. some space for

yourself, make that a

priority. 'cause

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Mm-hmm.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: you, matter and you being there for you is

the first step in,

in whatever process you're taking.

But especially this one of

trying to leave and

heal from something that

feels

cloudRecording_b_Take_1_audio: Right. Yeah. How difficult is that?

No, and it's, it's, it's, it's just not an easy situation. But if the, if the situation that you're in is so awful and so, so destructive to you that you feel like you literally do not wanna be in this relationship in the next. Five years or five months, or 10 years or 20 years, do you wanna be taking care of this person when they're 85 years old?

If the answer is no, now is the time to change.

bre_1_07-28-2025_152904: It's beautifully said.

Okay.

I'm gonna have

you help us choose a

card for the listener.

So go ahead and close your eyes here. [00:29:00] just gonna tune into the

deck and

see what is

the message that wants

to come out

for the, the, woman listening Mm-hmm. Whenever you feel

like the shuffle's

complete, you

let me know when to

stop. Okay, stop.

Okay,

we got get low, Ooh,

get low. ew. It's a picture of a spider.

Let's see what Gilo has to say. Gilo offers you a shift in perspective. It calls you to

settle down into the dirt to see what is happening below your eye level. Like the creatures

that crawl, scurry, and burrow on the floor of the forest. Gilo encourages you to see things from a point of view that is more grounded, literally what is happening down there. Allow yourself to lower the frequency of your energy to the earth Vibe. There are rich nutrients in the soil. your body. Look around,

lay on your belly, see your situation From

there, what do you notice? Get low offers you camouflage.

No one will see you here. You can move slowly and

deliberately

so you [00:30:00] don't

miss a thing. Oh my God. That's crazy. That's what we were just saying.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I cannot, this cannot be overstated, that it takes so much courage to share your story, to share

your perspective, your, your understanding, your wisdom, all the things. And I just really value what you have to say. I value your,

experience and, and

love that you

felt comfortable sharing. Well, you make it very easy And I I loved our sessions and, I, I do hope that we can continue, uh, in the future 'cause I think you're awesome. Yeah. Thank you

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

​

Let's do a quick recap of everything that my client shared today that could be helpful for you on your journey. So from what we talked about, you understand better the survival mechanisms that really keep you holding onto hope, holding onto hope that they will be a different person, that they are a different person.

You've learned how to grieve somebody who's still [00:31:00] alive, but who was never who you actually thought they were. And you know better now how to reclaim control of your mind and your life post separation if you resonated with my client's story, and specifically, if you think that you've been love bombed in the past, I want you to go to the show notes and click through to download my love bombing guide.

This guide is going to help you spot the red flags in the future so that we can learn from what happened and not repeat the same types of relationships ending that cycle. As always, you are not alone, and I'll see you in the next episode.