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Hello. Welcome to Hey, Boomer.

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Live from New Jersey, my name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey, Boomer.

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And hey, Boomer is for those of us who believe that we are never too old to set a

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new goal or dream A new dream.

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I'm on a mission with a boomer to support and inspire older adults to find new

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beginnings, to confront endings and transitions, and to evolve into who they want

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to be and to who we want to be.

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And why am I in New Jersey?

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I am here for the wedding of the daughter of a very good friend of mine and a very good

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friend of mine. David drove up with me.

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And so I am getting to connect in all kinds of ways, which is perfect for me because my

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word for the year is connection.

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And some people have asked me how I came up with my word for the year.

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And so I thought today, since I am here in New Jersey without a guest, this would be a

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good time to go through the process that I use for word for the year.

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I did share a link to the worksheet that I use in the comment section on both Facebook

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and LinkedIn.

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So if you were able to download that, you can walk along with me.

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If not, you can always drop me an email.

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You can send it to Wendy at Hey Boomer Dot Biz and I will send that to you after the

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show. Or you can look in the show notes which will be part of the podcast and I will

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have the link to the document there.

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Before I get started, I wanted to thank our sponsor, Road Scholar.

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Road Scholar is the leader in educational travel for Boomers and Beyond and offering

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expert led adventures to all 50 states and over 100 countries.

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Traveling with Rhodes Scholars.

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One of my favorite ways to travel.

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You always learn something.

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You meet new people. It's really a wonderful experience.

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And I'm hosting a trip to Costa Rica June 2nd through the 10th, and there's a few spots

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left. So if you think you might want to join us and I'm telling you, it's going to be an

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amazing adventure, I hope that you will drop me an email.

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Again, it's Wendy at Hey Boomer Bizz, and I will send you all the information about what

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we will be doing in Costa Rica.

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So who wants to develop a word for the year?

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I used to set New Year's resolutions until I realized that I suspect, like many of you,

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setting a New Year's resolution was setting myself up for failure.

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Because once I didn't lead up to my resolution, then I was like, Oh, shoot, you

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know, I'm no good at this.

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I failed. And then you abandon that resolution.

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So think about it.

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Like, how many times did you over the years say, okay, this year I'm going to get in

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shape and you join the gym and you start working out and you get going and then, Oh,

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wow, that really hurt or huh.

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I just don't feel like going today.

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And before you know it, you're not going or you're very intermittently going.

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And boom failure.

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Or you say, this year I'm going to lose £10.

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And you start you get that diet going.

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You maybe buy special foods, whatever it is that you do, and maybe you start to lose a

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few pounds and then something comes up, right?

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There's this wedding to you, or it's your birthday, or you just got to have that piece

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of chocolate cake and then you're beating yourself up again.

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So when you start to fail on your New Year's resolutions, what happens?

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You start beating yourself up and that's no good.

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We don't want to be telling ourselves that we're lazy or we can't do it or we're not

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good enough. That's not the message we want to give ourself, but with a resolution.

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I have found we set ourselves up to fail with a word for the year.

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There is no failure because it's for the whole year.

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So if you mess up once you have the rest of the year to keep getting better.

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And the cool thing about it is the awareness of the word really helps us learn about

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ourselves, learn about how we can grow and we get better at it rather than giving up on

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it and feeling like we failed.

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So with that, I wanted to go through the process that I use to create a word for the

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year and hope that it will be helpful to you.

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So let me start with a couple of examples.

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Last year, my word was acceptance.

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I chose that word because I found that I could be and I'm sorry to admit this, but I

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could be judgmental of people that were very close to me when I saw them doing something I

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didn't think was good for them or was right for them, or they expressed an opinion that I

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thought was a wrong opinion.

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And many times I was very vocal about my disappointment or my not agreeing with them.

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So I chose the word acceptance so that I would get better at that.

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And I made a visual, a real pretty little graphic.

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Pretty is in the eyes of the beholder, right?

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So a pretty little graphic that I put up on my bulletin board so that I would see it as a

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reminder on a regular basis.

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Was I perfect at it?

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Oh, hell no.

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But did I get better at it?

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You bet I did.

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I found that.

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By keeping that word in my awareness.

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Many times I was able to and just take a breath and think about is it better to be

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kind than to be right?

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And I would take that breath and I would be more accepting, less judgmental.

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There were times when I just couldn't do it and I would lash out.

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And then I realized, okay, so that's a learning opportunity.

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What was it that triggered me and then get back to getting better at it.

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So this year I have chosen the word connect.

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And I have to say, I am so grateful to connect every week with you, my listeners.

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And I'm grateful that last week we had our first Hey Boomer banter and I was able to

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come out from behind the microphone and connect with many of you that way.

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And that was so much fun.

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We have a new banter coming up on February the 21st, and if you want more information

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about that, again, drop me an email.

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Wendi at Hey, Boomer DAVIES and I will share that information with you.

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I also love it when I see your comments saying hello or commenting on something I

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said, giving me encouragement.

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You know, it's it's interesting when you're the one behind the microphone and you can't

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see anybody you're talking to.

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It's so nice to see the comments or on my blog when I write something.

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So connection is important to me.

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It's also connecting with in real life, right?

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So I chose the word connection because I had gotten way too comfortable during the

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pandemic with being by myself, staying in my house, and I knew I needed to build back

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those friendships that I had been neglecting and also to build my networking practice and

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get out there and speak more so that more people know about the work that we're doing

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with Hey Boomer. So Connection is my North Star this year, and maybe some of you already

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know what your North Star word is for this year.

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But there are also people who have no idea what word to pick, how to pick a word, why

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they should pick a word.

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So before we start, I want to tell you there are no right or wrong words.

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The word you choose is the right word for you.

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You will choose a word that that stretches your comfort zone, or you will choose a word

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that makes you feel more peaceful.

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Or you will choose a word that gives you the impetus to learn a new skill.

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Every word you choose will be the right word for you.

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So what did I do with to start with?

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Well, on the worksheet, I share 65 possible words.

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Now, interestingly, the word that I chose connection is not on this list.

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But sometimes when you look at the list, you will see exactly the right word for you or it

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may inspire you to include a word that is not here.

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But, you know, it made you think about it.

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So the list includes words that are all over the board.

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They may be compassion.

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You may want more laughter in your life.

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Or maybe you realize you need to do more forgiveness in your life.

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Maybe you need more discipline.

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Or now you're ready to take a new risk.

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Try something new.

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Maybe you want to explore art.

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Or maybe integrity is the word for you.

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So what I would suggest is take a minute.

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Now, think about it.

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If you don't have your word, what is it that's going to be important for you this

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year to really help you reach ever stated as you want to reach?

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Like I said, it may be expanding your horizons, but it may be finding more inner

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peace. So it's the right one for you sometimes.

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There's a whole lot of words on this list that are going to be perfect for you.

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So what I would suggest is pick no more than three and then we'll narrow it down from

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there. Okay, So maybe you have your three now, and the next step in the process is your

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why? Why do you think the words you wrote down would be good for you?

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And I love seeing some of you sharing your words.

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Pike says. Clarity.

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Philip says, Serve gin says gratitude.

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Add great, great words, all of them.

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So now we got to find the why.

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So some of you have heard of Simon Sinek.

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He is an author, a business consultant, and he came up with the phrase Find your Why.

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And so in personal development and business, finding your why is really about.

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Finding. What is your purpose?

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Why it matters and why it matters is important.

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Josephine's action.

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Doris says Joy, love it.

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So finding your why motivates you to have more clarity.

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So my why for connection?

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Well, I think as I mentioned during the pandemic, I became too comfortable being at

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home. So I knew I needed to expand my connections in a business sense for the

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podcast and for my coaching.

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But I also wanted to reconnect with friends that I hadn't seen in a while.

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I wanted to get better at what I was doing, so I wanted to connect with other podcasters

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and other coaches and finding your why is really going to be important.

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So look at the words that you've chosen if you have more than one and describe why, why

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that's important.

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David has to hear discipline and peace.

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So it would be a good opportunity to think about why each one of those is important, and

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you'll might find that describing your wife or one.

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Just comes naturally describing a why for the other.

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Maybe that's a little harder.

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So maybe that's not the exactly right word for you this year.

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So once you have your why now we want to get to how is this going to make your life

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different if you live this word every day?

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How is this going to make your life different?

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And so this is where we really get to expand our imagination a little bit.

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And when when I'm coaching people, you know, and I say, well, what difference is that

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going to make for you? How is that going to make things better or worse?

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Or what's going to happen when you choose those words or choose that action?

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A lot of people, the chants start to come in, right?

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Well, you know, but if I do that well, but this is going to happen or I can't do that

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because of this.

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And so I say when you're writing this vision for what a day would be like if you lived

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this word. Take off those negative inputs that you're hearing in your mind and say,

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What if I could do this exactly the way I want to really be visionary in your

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description of this?

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So in an average day, if I was to live the word connection every day, what it would do

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for me is it would bring me away from my computer where I am easily spending too much

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time because I love what I'm learning.

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But it would bring me away from my computer and I would get this thought, You know what?

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I haven't seen Karen in a while.

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I think I'll call her.

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On a normal day, I might be like, Yeah, but I have too much and this is my vision.

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I'm going to call Karen and see if she wants to meet me later and we'll just go out and

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hear some music or we'll go out and have a drink or you know what?

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It is a beautiful day outside.

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I'm going to go for a walk.

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I'll listen to the birds.

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I'm going to see the beauty in the sky and it's going to it's going to integrate the

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connection I want with nature into my life.

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So once I have this vision of what this perfect average day would look like, it's

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much more balanced than what I have been living.

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And it again motivates me to want to live with more connection in my life.

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So think about your words.

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Serve clarity, Joy.

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How will your life be on an average day if you live that word that day?

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So now next step is to come up with ten things that you would attract into your life

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if you lived that word.

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I know ten things is a lot, right?

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And I'm guessing you won't find all ten right now while we're on this show together,

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but you might be able to come up with two or three.

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And then as the day goes on or a couple of days go on, you might think about it and come

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up with more. So for me, if I start listing some of the things that will be different for

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me or better for me, that when I live this word, stronger friendships, that will

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definitely see a bump if I'm spending more time with friends.

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Right? Possible speaking opportunities.

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Whew, that's pushing my comfort zone.

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But I'm going to get out there and do more speaking.

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Why? Because it's important to me to get the word out about, Hey, Boomer, so that more

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people are going to live these fully present, active, engaged lives.

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I'm going to be learning more things because I'll be working with other podcasters or

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other coaches, I'll be working with other speakers, I'll be working with organizations

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and I'll be learning from them.

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So there are so many ways that.

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Keeping connection as my North Star word for this year are going to improve my life and

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the work that I'm doing.

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Did you get a few?

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Did you write a few down?

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Okay, so here we go.

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Now that you know why you have a vision and you have a list of some of the possible

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positive outcomes that you can get by living this word.

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What's going to get in your way.

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These are the triggers.

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What is going to get in your way of living that word?

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In my case, these triggers are the internal blocks, right?

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It's my inner voice saying to me, Well, I'm too tired.

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I don't really feel like going out tonight.

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Or I tell myself, my week is already so booked.

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How am I going to possibly fit in a coffee date or a lunch date?

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I've got so much to do.

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Or I might tell myself, especially this time of year, it's too cold and too dark to go out

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tonight. I think I'll just stay home.

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But once I know what these internal blocks are, I can choose to reframe them to stop

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those internal blocks.

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And this is where we start to develop new habits.

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Right? So if I start to tell myself I'm too busy, I don't have time for this.

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I don't have time to go meet a girlfriend for lunch or I don't have time to go to a

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networking event. I'm too busy.

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It's now my choice to change that message, to say yes, but think about all the nice

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people you're going to meet and what a great opportunity to get out that you did choose

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connection as your word, right, Wendy So how exciting that now you have an opportunity to

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go out and connect.

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It's a habit change, right?

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So the process is to think about how you're going to change it.

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Now. Oh, one other habit that I did add to my my way of changing these negative words

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that I'm telling myself why I can't do it is that I have chosen an accountability partner.

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And every week she checks in with me to see how I'm doing.

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And just knowing that I have an accountability partner is so powerful because

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I can say to her, You know what I did this week for connections?

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Oh yeah.

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And she goes, Good job.

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Or, Well, who did you think about this?

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Maybe you could have done that instead of declining the opportunity.

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So it really she asked me questions to motivate me.

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I ask her questions because I'm her accountability partner also.

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So very good to have somebody tell somebody what your word is and get somebody to just

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check in with you once a week short, very short conversation.

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How did you do? Or maybe by email and then reinforce that?

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Okay, so you've got the habits.

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So the final part of the worksheet has to do with your vision for 2023 and how your word

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enhances that vision.

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So with my word, connect my vision.

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And this is a little different than your what your average day going to be like.

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This is like the full vision.

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So my vision is with more connection in my life, I will be able to spend more time with

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my family, my children, my grandchildren, my sister, my brother, my mother.

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So connection, more connection with friends.

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I'm excited about some of the things that I've already got lined up and can't wait to

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see how this year plays out.

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More connection with nature.

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I get revived when I'm out in nature, and so even when the weather is not perfect, to be

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able to just get outside, even it's just going on my back patio and watching the the

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leaves start to bud just a little bit or listening to the birds.

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It's worth it.

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Nature is so good for me.

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And of course, Costa Rica.

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Oh my goodness.

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Connection with podcasters, connection with audiences like you, my listeners, like

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audiences that I will be speaking to.

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I have a couple of opportunities coming up that I'm pretty excited about.

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And as I said at the beginning, I would recommend that you make a visual.

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I have a.

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A thing on my bulletin board again this year for the word connect.

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And it's very colorful and it has all those different pockets of how I want to connect

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with friends, with family, with nature, with other podcasters, with different audiences.

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And that is my North Star.

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So when I start to get into my internal blocks of going, Yeah, but I'm comfortable.

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I don't want to go out, I can look at that and go, okay, Wendy, you know, you chose this

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word because it was good for you and you want this.

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You know what your Y is.

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So go do it.

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And will I be perfect every day?

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No. But will I be getting better every day?

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You bet.

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So what are my takeaways for choosing a word of the year as opposed to a New Year's

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resolution? Well, you can't fail when you choose a word of the year.

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Clarity serve.

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Gratitude, joy, action, discipline.

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All of those words will stay with you for this year as you go forward.

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And you can't fail even if you're not living that word every day.

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You are aware of it and it keeps you moving on the path to living the word that's going

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to be impactful for you this year.

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And know your wide once you know your wife or those words that will also keep you moving

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and then have your vision.

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What will your life be like when you're living that word?

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Finally, get creative.

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Go ahead, make a picture.

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You can use your own artistic skills.

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You can use graphics you find online or in magazines, but make a picture that's going to

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inspire you and keep it where you'll see it every day so that you will know what word is

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going to make your life that much better for 2023.

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So I hope this has been helpful to you.

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It certainly has been fun for me to share this with you.

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Again, if you need to get the worksheet, you can email me at Wendy at Haberman Biz.

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You can also sign up for our monthly banter.

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It's $12 a month or $100 for the year, so that's the savings.

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And every month we will meet and talk about all kinds of interesting, fun things.

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And you get to meet new people, connect and again, send me an email at Wendy at Hey Biz,

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and I will let you know how you can go ahead and get that information.

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Also, please support our sponsor.

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Road scholar r0ad scholar dot org slash.

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Hey Boomer. And please use the Hey Boomer and go look at all the trips so that they

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know that we are supporting them as they are supporting us.

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I also wanted to mention the vitality assessment that I have on the Hey Boomer Dot

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Biz home page.

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So what the vitality assessment will give you is an insight into how energized you are

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by the life you're living now.

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So it will ask you a bunch of questions and then you'll get a score and you'll find out

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is your energy sustainable?

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Is it on the upswing?

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Is it on the downswing?

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Is it time to add some things or take some things away so that you feel more fully

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energized? Or are you feeling somewhat empty?

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Just enough energy to make it through the week.

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Or maybe not even that.

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And that's where putting in the effort to regain your vitality and to really feel fully

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energized is worth the effort.

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And that's where coaching can help you.

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So check out the vitality assessment on the Hey Boomer Dot Biz Home page.

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And let me tell you about my guests for next week.

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Super excited.

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Her name is Ellie Katz.

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And when I first spoke to Ellie, I really liked her right away.

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She is so compassionate and committed to the work that she is doing.

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Ellie Katz is the founder of an organization called Sages and Seekers.

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Sages are the older adults.

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The seekers are the younger high school kids, and their intergenerational program are

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designed to develop empathy and diminish social isolation and ageism while meeting the

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universal and compelling need of both young adults and elders to find meaning and purpose

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in their lives.

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You're going to love Ellie.

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You're going to love this program.

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I'm really excited to bring it to you.

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And as always, I like to remind you to live with passion, live with relevance, and live

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with courage.

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And remember that you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green, and this is Ben.