Change for me is to just forever evolving and

bettering myself and growing and just being aware of

When I began my healing journey, a friend of mine said

to me that you have to lead by example and that

I had to take the steps to heal so

So my mindset went from blame, like, well, that's how I was brought up

and this, this and that. Yeah. It went from that to these

actions are mine. I need to take full responsibility for these actions.

And yeah, my kids were just. are

Actually a couple of days after that one of my older boys reached out to me and...

Welcome to Krystal Rowe Impacts, a space dedicated to

empowering you to be the change that your bloodline has been waiting

for. Join me and together let's inspire change. Kia

ora whānau and welcome back to the Krystal Rowe Impact Podcast. And

today I'm joined with my amazing husband, TJ. So

today we're going to be talking about becoming the change. So what

Gonna make a change for once in my life.

It's gonna feel real good. It's gonna make a

Yeah, that's, that's, I can't hit that other note, so I'll just leave

that there. But change for me is to just

forever evolving, like evolving and bettering myself

and growing. and just being aware of different situations that

I've previously been in to become a better person. And

one thing that springs to mind is, you know, I've been a father figure

since I was 17 years old, raising kids the best I could,

the way I could. And my older children, I wasn't, I

see, I feel that I wasn't the greatest. I

knew I could have been more for them. So recently my older

kids have moved out and lately since working on my breath and

creating this calm and peace within, I catch myself bringing

up my younger kids, my younger children in a whole complete

different way. And that automatically has been like, honestly,

it's been making me feel a bit of guilt and shame towards my

older kids because the same situation would have been a complete different

outcome. with my older children. So just being aware of that and

knowing that, like, it feels great to be able to change

and to be a better man, a better father, but also taking responsibility for

the impact that I have done on my older kids. So recently, I

did call a meeting with my older kids. I just wanted to open up

to them, apologize and, you know, just tell them how I'm feeling and

just give them that permission to speak up with me. and just

telling them how I just want that relationship with them, although I

brought them up in some violent situations. I'm being real. There were times

there where I inflicted a lot of fear on my children, my older

kids, and just doing all this work on myself, being a better father

now has, again, it's made me feel guilty of that. That's why

I've sort of approached them and told them I love them, and I

appreciate them, and I take full responsibility of

certain situations, and I just want to be involved in their life a

And that's so amazing and powerful. I know

you've been wanting to do that for quite a long time. And it

was actually one of your breath works that made you just be like, I

have to do this. And I think a lot more

healing came from that. than the action itself.

Like it was great to get everybody together and the words that you used

and the responsibility that you took, the

accountability for your actions. It not only

taught them that they can do that as

well. So in that moment, you literally broke a

cycle of not taking responsibility. And

So my mindset went from blame, like, well, that's how I was brought up

and this, this and that. It went from that to these

actions are mine. I need to take full responsibility for these actions.

And yeah, my kids were just. and

it was just a beautiful moment. Actually, a couple of days after that, one of

my older boys reached out to me and said, Dad, thank you

so much for that talk the other night. I've actually come into a situation where

I'm struggling. So he reached out for help and that was just so beautiful to

have my son reach out to me. And I

had the answers for him straight away. And it was just so, so

beautiful that he could find the courage. And in a way I

gave him permission to do that, which was amazing. So

just breaking cycles, and it only stemmed from

you taking accountability for your behavior.

Nobody else's. I think you just touched on it before. You've spent

a lot of your life holding on to blame for

why. And we do that as human beings. We're

meaningful people. You've said that to me before, where we

need a meaning for why. Situations, yeah.

Yeah, for our circumstances. There's always a reason, like an

excuse. Yeah, but we need a meaning behind why

something is the way it is or why we are where we are. But

instead of taking full responsibility that

maybe, yeah, we could have had parents that made poor choices, or

we might have ran away, or we might have made poor choices that

led us to a situation. But if we're not willing to

take that ownership, we're never going to break

cycles, and the same thing's going to happen. And it doesn't matter

like if people understand either why

we do what we do to heal, to break cycles, why

we speak up now instead of then or anything that,

you know, like gets you to that point where

you break that generational pattern. Like

you literally stood on the way from things repeating. And

And like I explained to my kids too, when I had that little meeting with them, it's like,

if I can impact your guys' life, or if I can

do my part of healing and trying to change these habits

and these traits, if I can just do a percentage of that and teach

yous as well, and then they come to a situation that they can learn

and do another percentage. eventually it'll just flow out, you

Yeah. And it starts with us too. I just, then I

was reminded of when I began my healing journey, a

friend of mine said to me that you have to lead by example.

And that I had to take the steps to

heal so that I could show my daughter the way.

And that's one of my greatest victories

in life. is that I healed and

I broke that cycle. And that even though,

you know, we talk about our older kids and how we weren't necessarily what

we needed to be for them, but now we have

the chance to make it up. Whānau, in saying that, becoming the

changer, it's never too late. It's never too late to

start and it's never too late to be the change that

your bloodline has been waiting for. I know personally I've

seen the results of beginning a healing journey

and pursuing healing and growth and

overcoming limiting fears and limiting beliefs.

There is beauty on the other side of

tragedy. There's beauty and life on the other side of

trauma. You just have to be the one that puts your

hands up and says that it ends with me. You

can be the one that all that shit ends with. So

No, that's beautiful, my love. And just to add to that, it's never too late also

to take responsibility and take ownership of the

actions you've done or the fear you've inflicted into the

saying it is what it is, you know, that doesn't have to be like that. You

know, you can change that. You can get that trust back, can

Just be that change. For me personally, with

my father, by me doing this, I have nothing but

utmost love for my dad. My love

for him has leveled up. Although he may be

responsible for a lot of my fears growing up, for me to forgive him,

to be able to take responsibility for my own actions,

the blame went away from him. I don't blame Him for my

actions anymore, as I used to. And it's just

another whole beautiful place to be in when you can forgive

Awesome, whānau. So if you love this episode, and if

you want to find out more about our healing journey and

our action steps to creating

accountability and ownership. Make sure you follow us on

all social media platforms. Leave a comment, a question below

and reach out if you need help and support. So whānau also

remember that we have some retreats coming up that can

actually help you unpack and redefine your

purpose in life and help you to take ownership. So make

sure you follow along and check out our dates

that are coming up in a city near you. And we will see