Good morning and welcome to real life with Mike and Jason.

Welcome to season two, episode four, as we talk about the role of community and overcoming addiction.

Mike, good morning.

Good morning, Jason.

And how are you today?

Dry.

The same can't be said for some of our.

Just move on.

Yeah.

So welcome.

We're glad that you joined us today.

Welcome back.

And this is our final season of season two, or final episode of season two.

It's a shorter one.

And if you've been following along, we've been talking a lot about, really some important conversations around the topic of addiction and, you know, what it is, why it happens, and most importantly, how we can break free from it.

And obviously asking the question, does God have anything to say about it?

So last episode we talked about finding freedom from addiction and how true freedom comes through Christ.

We discussed some practical steps that someone can take to begin that journey.

And if you missed it, obviously, I encourage you to go back, listen to episode one, two, and three, and it really lays the foundation for what we're concluding with today.

And because here's the thing, nobody overcomes addiction alone.

We weren't designed to fight battles in isolation.

And that's what today's episode really is all about.

It's about the role of community in overcoming addiction and why we need it, how God designed us for it, and what practical steps we can take to build the right kind of support system.

So let's kick it off really talking about the danger of isolation and is there a danger in isolation?

And what does that look like, the danger of isolation?

The first thing that comes to mind is just simply the fact that God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.

And there's all kinds of warnings and proverbs about the foolish person stays to themselves.

And so obviously the opposite of that is the benefit and the blessing that comes with living in community.

And when I think about Jesus, word that he said, what king, before he goes off to battle, doesn't gather with, you know, his cabinet and sit down and plan as to how they might have victory.

And so, you know, God is constantly leading us to a place where we're not doing things since on our own.

Oftentimes the sad part of addiction is, though a personal say that, hey, I got myself into this and so I'll get myself out of it.

And that's really the lie of the enemy there.

I think of Jesus words in John 3 said, the judgment is based on the fact God's light came into the world.

But people love the darkness more than they did the light for their actions were evil.

And it says, and all who do evil hate the light.

They refuse to go near it for their sins will be exposed.

But those who do what is right come to the light so that others can see what they're doing and what God wants.

And, and to me that just reminds me of the fact that the danger of isolation is sin and that sin will always separate us.

You know, we, we think it separates us from God, it separates us from one another.

And that's the beauty then of repentance, you know, of coming to God and turning from our sin and turning to God.

And the, one of the first and foremost amazing facts is that we then we become what children of God, we become part of a family, we become part of a community.

And so would you say that with, with being in fellow in community, being with other people, obviously there would or should at least naturally be some accountability to that.

And is there an importance to having account of people that will help hold you accountable to have that accountability and support?

Yeah, the book of James is thinking about this comes to mind in James chapter 5.

Pick it up.

In verse 13 it says, Are any of you suffering hardships?

It says you should pray.

Are any of you happy?

You should sing praises.

Are any of you sick?

You should call for the elders of the church to come and to pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord.

It says such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick and the Lord will make you well.

And if you have committed any sins, you'll be forgiven.

So confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

And when I think about just that with regarding accountability, God ties oftentimes our healing to other people.

We don't heal ourselves, we turn to God.

We ask God for healing.

We look to doctors.

There's nobody complains about when there's a doctor that helps them or you go to the dentist or profession.

That we reach outside of ourselves and really just comes back to the fact that God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.

And so God's constantly teaching us over and over again from just every perspective in life, the importance of being in accountable relationships and having support.

Because no man's an island.

We really, in the truest sense, we can't make it on our own.

Whether we like it or not, we need, you know each other.

And I think that's such a wonderful truth of, you know, the Christian faith.

When we see that, you know, the difference that it makes when our lives are connected to other people.

And then we also see the sadness and the sorrow that comes, you know, from isolation from God and from other people as well.

Yeah, for sure.

And I think of two, you know, just to tie into that.

I think of Galatians 2, you know, that we're supposed to help each other carry each other's burdens.

It says, and in this way, you fulfill the law of Christ.

And thinking about that, and thinking about how we were designed for community.

We weren't designed.

Like you said, no man's an island.

Right.

We're not designed to be alone.

I think helping somebody carry that burden isn't just a nice thing to do.

It's part about how we live out our faith.

And that's how iron sharpens iron.

Right.

We were talking about that in our youth group last night.

One of the questions I asked is online church.

Is that an appropriate substitute for being in church?

And it's hard for iron to sharpen iron when they're not even in the same room together.

So I just.

The church is meant to be a place of fellowship, of community, of healing, a place where people can be honestly honest about their struggles.

And so I think when someone is struggling with addiction, like you were saying, they often feel like they have to hide it because of shame or whatever emotion goes through with that, but really, that just isolates us, man.

So it's like that depression, right?

Depression makes us want to isolate, and then that makes us more depressed.

It makes us want to isolate even more.

It's just that vicious cycle.

So, yeah, so true that accountability, support is so important.

And I think that's why it's so important for churches like us and other churches, recovery groups, mentors, to step up and provide a place where people can be honest and open, where things aren't taboo or we don't really talk about that, but a place where people really can be open.

And I think that's our group, I think, is pretty good about doing that because it's a wide range of people.

It's not just alcohol.

It's not just drug.

There's a whole lot of people that struggle with a whole lot of different things.

Yeah, you know, I mean, the scripture says we all struggle with something, so that's the.

In we think about temptation on.

The Bible says there's no temptations not common to man.

So we all can find other people who go through the same things that we do.

And that's one of the beauties of living in community.

So we can share life together.

And we can ask questions and we can ask for help and support.

And it's amazing, you know, that even outside the church, people are willing to help people if people would just humble themselves and reach out.

Yeah, absolutely.

I saw this quote as I was studying for today.

That kind of stood out to me.

And it says the opposite of addiction isn't just sobriety, but it's connection.

I thought, man, that's a cool way of thinking about it.

Yeah.

So with that said, thinking about community, thinking about church and kind of our role.

Let me ask you this.

What role do you see the church has or even recovery groups or mentors?

What role do either they or we have in the recovery process specifically around providing support systems?

Yeah, the bottom line, the church, we exist obviously for the glory of God to make disciples, to mentor, to reach, to teach, to, as the Bible says, thoroughly equipped.

That the man or woman of God be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

And when we think about, you know, how we can mentor or, you know, reach people, I mean, our recovery group is for that very purpose, is that we've identified specific needs.

So we call it addiction.

And so if you're suffering from addiction, to come and be part of a community of people who are going through the same things, to be, you know, everything you said earlier is iron sharpens iron to encourage one another to help each other.

There.

There's a book, it's not a Christian book, obviously, and I refer to it often.

It was titled Change or Die by Ellen Dushman.

And he writes about the power of community for experiencing lasting change.

Matter of fact, he said that out of all the people in the world that need to change, only 1 out of 10 actually ever accomplishes it.

And one of the biggest reasons is, and really probably the biggest reason is the lack of community.

They might have all the other factors in place, but they don't have a support system.

And I loved, as I read that, because, like I said, this was a secular book, but it was reinforcing the power of biblical discipleship.

The reason God created the church was the church would gather, and it says they didn't meet once a week.

It says they met daily, house to house, sharing life together.

But I wanted to take just a moment, I wanted to relate to the audience here because this is probably something they haven't read or they would read outside of just Scripture.

But he talked about the power of lasting change, that it.

It happens three ways.

And he used three words that begin with the letter R.

And the first was relate and that has everything to do with community, to see yourself as part of a family unit.

And the second was to repeat, which always reminds me of the discipling process when we think of watch one, do one, teach one, and you.

Basically what he was saying is you help yourself by helping other people.

And I thought that was so profound.

And then the third was reframe.

And reframe is that you practice doing the right thing until it becomes instinctive.

And again, that's.

It's.

They just seem so simple to me.

Oh, it's just exactly what Scripture teaches us.

So when I looked at the first one was community fosters identity.

He was talking about that.

That's how we relate that families, the core of society, not individualism.

We need to help people understand that God's plan, his intention all along was for humanity, that we were created to be a family.

First Corinthians 12 tells us.

It says, the human body has many parts, but many parts make up one whole body.

So it is with the body of Christ.

And so it's just a great reminder.

We have different parts, we have different functions.

But.

And then he goes on down and he says, the foot says, I'm not part of the body because I'm not a hand.

And we help people realize, yes, we're unique, we're different, but we're part of this bigger thing, the family of God.

And then to understand as part of a family unit in Christ as we make disciples, is I like what John writes.

He says, see how very much.

In First John 3, he said, See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are.

And to be reminded of that, that we belong to God, that we're children of God and God is our heavenly Father, and we're brothers and sisters in Christ.

We've been adopted.

We think of these words into God's family.

God knows that we need one another.

And that's why really, in the true sense the church was created, the Holy Spirit gives us gifts as he wills so that we can love, we can serve one another effectively.

We think about the fact that we're individual members of the body, but it's in the family that we learn the most, the shaping of our thoughts and our actions there is the result of shared experiences day in and day out.

The Bible.

That's why the Bible says bad company corrupts good morals to warn us, to ensure that the community we associate with will have an influence over who.

Excuse me, over who and what will become.

So the.

The Point's this.

You're deeply influenced by the actions and behaviors of your friends and your companion.

You know, whether you consciously or unconsciously, we imitate, you know, what we perceive, you know, in our local environment.

I, I like in his book the Success Principles by Jack Canfield, he wrote this.

He said, you're the average of five people that you spend most time with.

And so we see that in a business model.

And.

But yet that's exactly what scripture, you know, teaches us, is that we need to be around each other, to impact each other, like you said, to encourage each other.

And then the second part of that was, you know, you help yourself by helping others, and that's where, you know, you repeat over and over again the things that are right.

And I love the saying that was in the book.

It said, therapy is astonishing therapeutic for the therapist.

And, and I, and I know that to be true.

There's many individuals who work in the field of therapy will tell you that they're their best client.

And from a biblical perspective, we can say that love wins when we love others, when we seek to use our, our lives for the benefit of other people, everybody wins.

That was the concept in the book.

It was referred to as each one teach one.

We only teach what we know to someone who knows less is the idea that the book was teaching.

And I love that in discipleship, because if you're suffering from addiction, you might think, oh, what value do I have?

And you go, there's always somebody who's in a worse place than you.

And so if you can take what you know and what you've learned, there's people that would benefit from you sharing openly and honestly about your struggles.

And it's just, again, it's fascinating to me that these biblical truths make their way into business models and everything else.

And it's what Paul wrote in Ephesians 4, he said instead, he said, we'll grow up speaking the truth in love, growing in every way more and more, like Christ, who is the head of the body, the church.

It says he makes the whole body fit together perfectly.

As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

And so again, it's just, you know, that we all have the ability to impact others.

And then the last one I titled this, I made up my own title for it was fake it until you make it.

And it's the concept of reframing.

There was an old commercial by Nike that just said, just do it you don't have to be a pro.

Just get out there and play.

Go out there and do it.

And it really was the emphasis was on practice and not on theory when it comes to participating in a sport or a recreational activity in society.

Think of it this way.

We train police officers how to handle dangerous situations and to make critical split decisions through role playing.

Yeah, we did it in the military.

You drill.

Yeah.

And so here Jesus says, follow me and what I'll make you become fishers of men.

They're gonna again, it's a watch one kind of a do one, teach one.

And ultimately what happens is as you practice doing the right thing over and over, whether your heart centered or not, what are you doing?

You're retraining yourself so that it does become instinctive.

And you do it in one sense without thinking.

I think that's what Paul I had in mind in Romans 12:2, where he says, don't copy the behavior and the customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way that you think.

Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

So obviously point there being role playing is a part of the whole disciple making process.

And we can't do that in a bubble.

We have to do that in community.

So I guess we would.

Transformation is a process and it's a lasting process when that impacts, like I said, the way that we think, which then leads to the way that we act.

And again, I guess the last.

When I think of a verse of Scripture that comes to mind, it reminds me of Jesus half brother James and James 2.

He says, what good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say that you have faith and you don't show it by your actions?

Can that kind of faith save anyone?

He said, suppose you see a brother or sister has no food or clothing.

You say goodbye and have a good day.

Stay warm and eat well.

But then you don't give what the person needs.

You don't give them food or clothing.

It says, what good does that do?

So you see, faith by itself isn't enough unless it produces good deeds.

And that's where mentorship comes along.

That's where the church comes along, where we're able to live life together, do life together, and go about doing the will of God, which is what it's ministering to people.

So we're taking people along with us to minister.

And since we're going to be reaching people of all different places in life, you can take all kinds of people with you as well.

And so it just really stresses over and over again the need for community.

The beauty of the.

When we see the good of the church, it always happens in relationship to be in a family, brothers and sisters in Christ, where we see God as our heavenly Father and we seek every day to magnify and to glorify him.

Amen.

Let's switch gears real quick then and talk specifically to the person who.

Maybe not the person who's struggling with the addiction, but the encouragement for those supporting people, maybe family members or friends that are supporting people that are struggling with an addiction.

How.

I guess the question is, how can.

How do you support a loved one battling addiction?

With grace and truth.

What are some things that can encourage anybody listening today that has somebody that they love, that's struggling?

What do they need to do?

It's such a great question.

And it's so difficult because it's not just about truth, but there's emotion involved in relationship.

And we want the best for others and we wish the best for others.

And so oftentimes we can turn a blind eye in a negative way.

Where in love.

Scripture tells us that love forgives.

Love believes all things, it endures all things.

Love never fails.

It believes the best.

And sometimes when we're dealing with addiction and especially we're trying to help people find which will.

It'll lead into the aspect of establishing boundaries in relationship.

The world has a concept that says, do it to me once, shame on you.

Do it to me twice, shame on me.

And.

And so we all build walls.

Paul in Ephesians 4, he says, but instead we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more, like Christ, who is the head of the body, the church.

And I think when you think about how do we support people that are battling addiction, we do it in love.

We speak the truth.

We don't candy coat it, we don't gloss over it, but we speak the truth in love.

And we're reminded of all the people in this world.

We have hope and we have a hope that doesn't disappoint because there's nothing too difficult for God.

And we just keep pointing people to.

To a personal relationship with Jesus.

And as we do that transformation takes place.

People learn how to be cliche us, if you.

You want to put it that way.

But it's let go and let God.

And that's what we're especially with dealing with people that are dealing with loved ones in the area of addiction is learning how to just put Your faith in God, trust God and walk by again faith and not by sight, because what they're seeing is destructive.

And what they, they're seeing is so heartbreaking.

But if they could see the end of what would happen if this person was to turn to God, what would happen if this person was healed?

And that's where faith, hope and love come into play.

And again, for us, the biggest, I think responsibility we have is to help people look to and to trust God as they're dealing with loved ones who are struggling with addictive behavior.

So you mentioned briefly about boundaries.

What are some ways or some healthy boundaries for somebody struggling with an addiction or the person helping them at least that they might want to consider.

Because I think oftentimes it can be easy sometimes to get drug into the very thing that you know, that the person struggling with the addiction is either dealing with or invest really in an unhealthy way that negatively impacts a person trying to help.

So can you talk just a minute or two about maybe some healthy boundaries or how to go about that at least?

Yeah.

And it's again, it comes back to, God is a God of love and his love is unconditional.

And sometimes when we're dealing with addictive behavior, love gets withdrawn from people and then love appears to be merit based as opposed to just intrinsic worth in the fact that they're a human being and that God loves them.

And what do we do in those delicate situations where we need to establish boundaries for safety?

Proverbs 25:17 says, don't visit your neighbors too often or you'll wear out your welcome.

So that's just a kind of a humorous approach, but it reminds us that in scripture God desires that we establish healthy boundaries.

The problem is no one can really tell you what those are.

Those are going to have to happen on an individual basis and as you're led by the Holy Spirit, because what one person can bear, another person can't.

And so that's where we come along and we pray with people.

We were all born into this world dependent.

And then we seek to be independent where God wants us to learn how to be interdependent.

So when we think about being codependent, we know automatically we think of someone who is a taker.

And if you have two people that are takers, you've got a dangerous relationship.

And usually addictive behavior is someone who at that point in their life is a taker.

And if you're then around someone who's giving, they will give and give and give until they have nothing left to give.

And we encourage people to walk in love.

Love is patient, it's kind, it's not jealous, it's not boastful, it's not proud, it's not rude, it's not demanded its own way, keeps no record of wrong.

Those are difficult things, you know, when you're dealing with someone who continues to hurt you through addictive and oftentimes abusive behavior.

But, you know, so we just keep reminding people that.

Guess God reminds us, love never gives up.

Love never loses faith.

And just to do what God is calling them to do.

The golden rule, Matthew 7 is, do to others what you would like them to do to you.

And so you have to prayerfully consider.

You go, what would I want someone to do for me if I was in this situation?

And that might seem like it's oversimplifying, but that's a great place to start.

And then you have to go with what you feel like the Lord's leading you to do that's consistent with his Word.

You can't just say, oh, I prayed about it and the Lord told me to do this.

It's everything God tells us to do will line up perfectly with his Word.

And we just try to encourage people, read the word, study the word, find the boundaries that you need.

Because obviously we know that especially in addictive behavior, you can get somebody who's tweaking and they might not go to sleep for three or four days, and you go, what are you supposed to do?

Stay up with them?

You'll end up dying yourself.

It happens a lot with caregivers.

You think about this, that someone has a just in a healthy marriage relationship where they're taking care of their spouse who's sick and maybe dying, and in the course of continually just pouring out, they become sick and die again.

No one can really tell you where that line is and what you need to do.

That's where I just really encourage you.

As the Bible says, okay, guess what?

We're coming back to community here is in the multitude of counsels was reach out, talk to a pastor, talk to a professional, get some support for yourself.

And as Jesus said, when we sit down, when a king getting ready to go to battle, get your people together and think, how can we win this thing?

And the goal is to what is hopefully is to win that person to sobriety and to win that person to Jesus Christ.

Yeah, absolutely.

And it's quick for us to say, okay, this person has an addiction, they need help.

But oftentimes the people supporting the people with Addiction, just like you were saying, they need help too.

And oftentimes I don't need to go talk to anybody.

The person I'm helping has the addiction.

But no, you do.

You need community as well.

Yeah, you need support as well.

So that's a great point.

As we wrap up today's conversation, I just wanted to remind everybody listening that we are not meant to fight alone.

And whether you're struggling with addiction or walking alongside somebody who is, know that there's hope.

There's hope in community, but most importantly, there's hope in God.

And God works through people, like you were saying earlier, that are around us to bring to healing and restoration.

And so if you're battling addiction, my encouragement, our encouragement to you is find a support system, whether it's a church recovery group, a trusted mentor, you need, you cannot do this alone.

Everything in you is going to try and convince you that you got this, you can do it alone.

You don't need help, but you don't.

And you know, if you're supporting someone, a loved one or a friend or somebody through addiction, just hang in there, stay strong, love them, like you were saying.

But also, you got to have healthy boundaries.

So you're going to need support as well.

But, you know, don't give up.

Amen.

So join us for season three.

We're going to discuss a little bit about anxiety.

As I was thinking about this next season, it feels, and I just hear this so many times, and I think maybe you will agree too, that people have this sense that life just seems more chaotic now than ever.

Like things are just getting worse, they're getting more chaotic.

Whether it's economic instability, political division, which is there's copious amounts of here in our country, or even just lingering natural crises really have left a lot of people struggling with anxiety or uncertainty.

And even it's so disingenuous to say that as a Christian, we don't wrestle with the very same things.

With fear, with doubt, with seeing all the things going on and wondering, where is God in all of this?

And I think season three, that's what we're going to seek to address.

And so talking about questions about faith and anxiety, where is God in our struggles?

How do we combat fear with truth?

And what does it mean to live with an unshakable hope in Jesus?

And that's going to be next season three, all about anxiety.

So it'll be right around the corner.

Follow us on our instagram@ccbakersfield.com and we'll let you know when that's getting ready to release.

And lastly, I just wanted to say if this episode or any of these episodes encourage you, please share it with someone, push it out on social media, tell somebody about it, and obviously don't forget to subscribe.

Leave reviews.

That helps us too, just with trending with other people finding us.

But more than anything, seek God.

Seek Jesus, because He truly changes everything.

Thank you guys so much for joining us and we'll see you and Season.

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