Getting in our own way is when we are misaligned. So this is when maybe our values aren't aligned with our vision, our behaviors aren't aligned with our beliefs, our emotions aren't aligned with our thoughts.

You know, we do live in a culture which is pervasive, that kind of shapes us and that, and we live in a culture of fixing.

And what story are you telling yourself that is in the way of how you feel today to how you want to feel?

Hello and welcome. Do you ever want to get out of your own way? I know I do. Well, today I'm joined by my guest, Earl Tolbert, who is a fascinating individual. He is a mindset code expert. Sounds cool. And we are going to unpack that because I want to know more about that. But we're going to talk about this whole, let's get out of our own way. I think I know what it means. I wonder if you know what it means, but we're going to go into that. So, Earl, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?

Hi Sal, thanks for inviting me. I'm doing really well and excited to talk to you about some of the things that we do in the world of personal development and transformation. So yeah, absolutely delighted to be here.

Fantastic. It's really good to have you. So we're talking about getting out of our own way and you and I have spoken about this, uh, this kind of colloquial term that's been around for a while. A lot of us kind of know what it is, but as you and I are actually language specialists or we're linguistic specialists, perhaps is a better term. What do you mean by getting out of your own way? Yeah,

Yeah. So the, the key thing is, this is, there's, there's two elements of it. And we talk about getting out of your own way. The first thing people need to recognize is how they get in their own way in the first place. So, so there's a structure to how we get in our own way, and then what are the things that we need to remove so we can get what it is that we want in our lives. So getting in our own way is when we are misaligned. So this is when maybe our values aren't aligned with our vision, our behaviors aren't, aligned with our beliefs, our emotions aren't aligned with our thoughts. These are all things that create incongruence in us. and that conflict, conflict means that we then start to get in our own way. We start to act in ways that we wouldn't expect or we start to think in ways or even our internal negative dialogue can have an impact in terms of how we show up for interviews, asking a boss for a raise or whatever it might be.

really nice, really nice description. Um, for me, I've got in my own way many a time, my description of that is. Often the idea of something like I should be this or should be that has got in the way of a more authentic approach or more courageous approach. So there's been this, um, approach that has been, as you say, perhaps a bit disingenuous or a little bit misaligned. And then we end up There's a, there's an efforting in it. It feels to me. So, and getting in our own way is of course, well, to use the parody of that is we're blocking ourselves somehow. We're basically stumbling over ourselves, which is an, uh, an unhelpful way to, to go. Now, I also want to go straight into Mindset Code Breaker. Now, I'm a mindset coach, human performance coach. I've worked with psychology a lot. Um, you do some different things and let's, let's, let's go. What is that? Tell me more about the mindset and particularly the code breaker piece of it, please.

Yeah, so, so first of all, I'll describe mindset. So one of the, one of the misconceptions I have with lots of different people when I have this discussion is they think the mindset is the brain. And the brain is an organ of the mind. It's one part of the mind. So our mind is really our neurology. So that's your intuition. That's your heart. That's your brain. Um, that can be your emotions and they're all regulated within our body, generally speaking. There's a, there's another aspect to that, which you could say is spiritual, but we can, we can talk about that a little bit later. But the main thing is in terms of the mindset, it's those different functions of the body becoming aligned. And so the code or the code breaking is looking at how we've been encoded. And this happens as a process of socialization, um, from when we started school, having parents, our siblings, um, our professional life, all of this impacts on us. So when you talk about, um, getting in, getting in or out of the way of yourself, when we think we should be doing something, usually that isn't an original thought. That isn't the thought that I actually own. And I want to do it because if I want to do it, I want to do it. I don't think I should do it. that's usually come from somewhere else. So that's encoding. When we are being encoded, that's where it can be positive, it can be negative. So my thing is figuring out what the code is, helping my clients understand what the code is, so they're empowered to change it and rewrite it should they want to.

Really nice, really nice. Um, in my work, um, similar to yours, but different. I did a lot of study in human development from zero upwards. And the fascinating thing about our brains, And I love that you've called that out. You know, the brain and the mind are different phenomena. One is a physical entity of the physiology of our body, a physical structure. One is the essence of it, the output of it, whatever it is, but we know the mind and brain are connected, but no one's got an absolute certainty, but they are separate phenomena. Now, curiously, we are in, uh, our brains have waves. So there's all these different waves. We have beta, Beta is like how we're conversing now, we're conscious. Below that is alpha, then there's theta and delta. And when we're very young, we're actually in an absorptive state. Our baby brains, literally like a big sponge, just sucking up the world. And to, we'll go in a quick neurology, um, explanation, but from zero to seven, this changes from those deep states of delta, then to theta, up to alpha, around about between five and seven, approximately. What's important, I love what you said there. As we get coded at a young age and we don't even know, like it's, we're like these beautiful human sponges that absorb and model parents and model people, but the code sticks, like the neurology, the pathways stick. And I've worked with a lot of people who've got these things that have come from the past, you know, the problem today is built on the past. Now, with that in mind, how are you working with people who've got a problem today, perhaps you can give me an example, that might have its origin in the past?

Yeah. So, um, Actually, I just want to speak to something that you said there, and I really love the example of explaining the zero up and going through the different states. So the mind is the system. The brain, as I said, the brain is a component of the system. So is the heart. And so our heart, our gut, our brain all have the neurology cells that are in the brain. So it, it, there's different quantities that are in the heart as in the gut. So When we talk about actually intuition or heartfelt leadership or things, those things are really valid. And even when you look at those states, delta, theta, uh, uh, uh, alpha, those are all still within the system. We, it's not like we lose those. They're all in the system. And then the question really becomes is where is that useful and helpful and practical. and effective. And where is that ineffective? Where is that impractical, impractical and not useful or helpful? And that's part of the code breaking. And we generally can't see it for ourselves, but the way that we've been trained, and I'm using the Royal Re including me and you, is that we've got the tools and techniques to help people to understand that and also change and transform that. So coming back to your question, generally I'm working with And I love working with solo openers because I believe they are the change agents that are going to change the world. And when I talk about solo openers, they're not necessarily, it's not about being self employed or working in a company. It's about you living on purpose and crafting the life that you want that has positive impact on the planet. That's what I see solo openers doing. That's different from self employed, that's different from freelance, and that's different from being a corporate citizen. It's not about your, um, uh, employee status. It's about how you show up in any of those things. And that's what I talk about living on purpose. And usually there is something that's going on where that person isn't able to get the results that they want or think they should have. And part of that is if we look at all the stories right now in terms of entrepreneurship, it's This is what I did. This is what you should do to be successful. And for me, learning NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, and Modeling Excellence, what I start to recognize is there isn't one way. So whether it's Alex Omonzi, whether it's Simon Sinek, whether it's Stephen Bartlett, it doesn't matter who you want to talk about, they've all got different components on how they've achieved the success that they want. But everyone is saying, well, this is how you need to do it. And the key thing that I help my people, my clients with, and people on my program is help them figure out the way that works for them. So moving from less hustle to more flow, and that flow comes from the alignment and the congruence. Does that make

Yeah, that's lovely. I want to speak straight to that point of hustle. You know, we're in a hustle culture now. I think of good old Gary V. I like Gary V. It's a funny guy. Uh, he's kind of well known, but yeah, it's hustle culture. And there's nothing quote unquote right or wrong about these things that we're speaking about. There's probably an appropriateness. And you'd already named that a little, a short while ago, because if hustle culture isn't for you, If you have a high bias or stress response, particularly on the anxiety spectrum, hustle culture is just going to ramp you up and amp you up if you don't have the capability. So hustle culture is really good for people who are neurologically in a fight response. So just to caveat that, we're not talking about aggression or fighting, we're talking about going towards the problem, uh, doers, people who like the challenge. So if you're biased that way, for various reasons, Hustle culture probably will rock for you. Hustle culture for a lot of people is always actually always on culture. I hear it misnamed and I'm, I've got some clients who are close to burnout or been close to burnout. And they've gone from the quote, hustle culture to the always on, I can't switch off culture, which leads me into thinking what's driving that, you know, what, what's in that person's neurology, what's in their backstory that makes them strive. What are you striving for is the question I just laid out at their door, because something like that is getting in their way, and that's their problem too, you know, they're not getting success because it's the hamster wheel. And they're not getting peace of mind because they're driven by an unconscious bias of some kind. Now, how do you go and figure out these unconscious patterns for people? How do you perhaps take us through for someone who hasn't been here who's going, Hmm, yeah, that kind of sounds like me. Um, how does that work? How does it actually work in your domain?

Yeah, um, and actually just to speak about the, the hustle culture, the really interesting thing is if you are in the fight mode, as you mentioned, which isn't about aggression and you're in the hustle culture for you, that's flow, right? That, that's, that's the thing, that's their flow. So actually you take them out of that environment and they're going to struggle. So it's, it's really interesting that when we start to frame words, how that language starts to impact how we see the world. So come, coming again to the essence of your question. One of the things is I, all I need to do is be deeply curious. So it's, it's not about I need to figure it out. It's about helping them figure it out. And me just kind of just asking questions and going deeper. But what I'm looking for is the structure. I'm looking for the deep structure of what is it that is happening within you that is creating this reality that isn't giving you the positive feedback loop that you want. And so as a simple way, you talked about somebody who is on this always on. And then your question would be what you're striving for, right? Now, what you're striving for. Gets them to think about what it is that they're going after. My question would be, what gap are you trying to fill inside you? Because they're, now that makes them internally reference. Because the striving will keep striving if it's, you know, I want a silver medal, I want a gold medal, you know, I've got a Ferrari, I want a Bentley, whatever it is, the striving will always change. But the gap that you're trying to fill inside you, that gets them to really get to the heart of the problem. And once we start to find the gap, then we can find where the gap is, what's around the gap, what's creating the gap, and we build out from that way. And it's not to say that we should try to change the gap. It's not about trying to fix people. It's about helping them to understand themselves to get the best out of themselves.

Beautiful. Yeah, that's beautiful. And just to kind of carry on from that point, Um, You know, we do live in a culture which is pervasive, that, kind of shapes us and that, and we live in a culture of fixing. You know, when I grew up as a kid, if you had a problem, you went to see the doctor, which generally was a person in a white coat in this doctor's place, and you trusted them and they did the job. Now, doctors are brilliant at certain things, but the mindset of, I've got to go fix stuff and have someone else fix me, can be problematic, particularly in the personal domain. Because in the more ancient cultures, I'm sort of trained in the yoga arts and, and I've read a lot of Zen stuff, in those arts, the question goes within, you know, there's no idea that anything outside of us can solve us, there's Japanese martial arts as well, it's all within, you have everything, but you need to go have a look inwards, and we're an outward looking species, right? Well, our eyes look outwards, we, we look out to the world, and we often don't look in, and it's, And I love what you said about looking at the gap and just being with that as opposed to, right, you have a problem, you need X solution. You have a gap, let's, let's be with the gap. Let's be with that space. That's fascinating. Um, When doesn't this work? Now, when have you got someone and they're like, Oh, this isn't working. When are these bump points coming up for you? These, these things where you're working with someone who perhaps is resistant to that, or it hasn't, what can you say more about that?

Yeah, it's, well, here's the thing, right? Cause that's an interesting frame because working is kind of a bit like fixing. When, when, when does it or doesn't it work? And it always works in my opinion, but always working doesn't necessarily mean you always get the result that you want or the client wants. So one of the things I talk about is I work with people that want to be better, not get better. So I don't, you know, I'm, I'm not a therapist. I'm not a trained therapist. I'm not a clinical therapist, even though because of the way that I work and the way my clients work with me, there is a lot of therapeutic, um, things that happen for therapeutic results because they like, Oh, all of a sudden they understand themselves better. So there's less judgment and judgment. Actually, I want us, I would just want to make this statement. And this is a really important statement. Judgment is probably one of the biggest things that gets in the way of ourselves. And usually when we are judging ourselves, it's not through the lens of ourself. It's through the lens of how others have seen us or society sees us or, you know, our status through society. You know, I haven't got enough money or, you know, I'm a, I'm a bad this or I'm a bad that, and that's through judgment and comparison. So those, those, those are actually two of the big things that really get in, in the way of ourselves. But, um, What it, where it doesn't really work is if somebody is in a heightened state of trauma or something is going on for them. So there's really a massive amount of what we call neuromuscular lock, where there is high states of tension, anxiety and everything else. I can, I can get people into a state where they're more coachable, but they really need to be in a coachable state. So, you know, I'm not a firefighter. You know, I'm, I'm not also a long term type of coach, generally speaking. Usually I work with people within a few sessions to get results that they want. I do have some long term clients because they just see a real value in investing in me for long term, but usually I'll try to work with clients in a short space of time and then they have the resources to carry on for themselves.

Yeah. Thank you. It's such an important point. And, and there's a lot of trauma in the world and sometimes we don't even know and can name the trauma, uh, uh, has happened in our past, normally in our early, early years, and then it can create a pattern. And that's perhaps when, if that comes up, someone, uh, me too, I'm a trained psychotherapist, but I don't explicitly do therapy anymore. I've blended my model of work into a mindset and human performance coaching approach. So I would say, Hey, look, this has come up for you. This is more trauma esque. Um, I've seen great results with EMDR. His, his, his three people you can go see, because actually that's the right thing to do. Either way, what I find interesting is either way, it's in the system, right? It's in the system where you've either got stroma or a block, you're getting in your own way. Whether you want to see it or not, it's there and it's affecting your life or stopping you from perhaps getting the things you want or being the way you want. So by avoiding it doesn't make it go away, it's just you don't look at it. So I think it takes a bit of courage, this work, or probably a lot of courage. some humility. And I think those two qualities in my experience go a long way into helping people shift. And I use the word shift because I think shift is a more elegant phrase to transition from. If you're in a stuck position, you want to change. We're not necessarily you need to change, but something needs to shift. And that could be perspective. It could be your pattern, uh, it could be your environment, but if you get the shift, then that can be a really helpful thing. Oh, have you got an example of when something's gone really well? So I've gone into the dark side first, okay, into the light. Have you got an example of when something's gone really well, where someone's come to you with this, you know, I'm kind of getting in my own way, and you've done a piece of work with them. Have you got an example you could share with us?

Yeah, I've got many examples, but actually I just want to speak to the dark side as you called it first as well. I think the main thing that I look at is my clients need to be able to take responsibility. So if you're not able to take responsibility, if you are, I'm going to put some sessions with you Elle, come and fix me. You are not the client for me. So that's definitely where it doesn't work because empowerment and that transformation is an inside out job and the way that I work with empowerment is Well for transformation is I need to give you or help you find the resources So you can make that change and that's where the transformation works. So It's not Earl doing it to you that is transformational, it's that you are empowered, you understand yourself and to make that shift, as you say, and that shift is back to alignment. So the, the, I presuppose, and this is really important in terms of how I work with my clients, I presuppose that you are wholesome in yourself and you have all the resources you need, which this is one of the principles of NLP. Even with the trauma, even with the gap, even with whatever's going on with you, you're still here and you're still able to function. So how do we just bring that into alignment? And the gap may serve a really useful thing. So again, it's not my job to judge the gap. It's my job to help you to understand it and bring that back into the alignment. So I just really want to speak to that. Um, so Literally five minutes before I jumped on, on, on this podcast, I got a voice note from somebody who's on my program and she's going through a process, but her life, she's, she's been on week three of the program and her life is literally transformed already. And one of the reasons is that we use this filter or this frame, which is 10X. So what is a 10X version of yourself? and she is showing up in her life as 10X. It's changed. This, this is a program that is helping breath workers to become solopreneurs because it's a very different skill set to be a practitioner, whether that's a coach, a yoga teacher, whatever it is, to being your own business. And that's primarily what the program is about. But one of the things that I've noticed as entrepreneurs and solopreneurs. The ones who are successful and are sustainable in their success are the ones who live a 10X vision of their life, right? Which is scary, it's exciting, but they dream big, they bet big on themselves. And what's happening for her is she's seeing that she is changing as a person. And that's changing her relationship with her mom, her, her children, her new relationship, and even her clients. The feedback she's getting from her clients, and as far as she's seen it, she isn't doing anything different with her clients, but she's different. She's evolving and, and that's really, you know, she's saying the feedback from my clients, she said, I think I'm, I'm paraphrasing, but it's, it's, it's through the charts. It's off the charts and, and so. Once we step into that place of being that thing, being that person, then, you know, it's game over, you know, the sky's the limit.

magical! I've got my my neurology in my, I've got a lot of very strong neurological neurological feedback. My whole skin's going Really I love that story. Um, it makes me think of Joe Dispenza. Um, don't you know Joe Dispenza. The uh, quantum physics guy. Uh, big voice in the field of personal development. Um, yeah really like his work. I remember him describing the the difference between thinking, doing and being. So thinking is very cognitive and very much abstract. Feeling, of course, is emotive and of the body, you know, those emotions and how you feel. But being, that essence is such a beautiful thing. And what you said there about your client being different, not doing different, being different, because I don't know about you, Earl, I know before when I've not done the work, like this kind of work, I've tried hard, like really, really hard to succeed or to change and, and the efforting and the doing hasn't made a blind bit of difference, which is like, damn it, it's so annoying. And I'm going to share a story. Um, one of my many careers, I was a photographer and I remember one season I'd done a bunch of work and I was doing both commercial and I was doing contemporary wedding photography. And I've got to this point where I was at a certain ceiling with my rates and the people who were coming on board was, you know, quite sort of, you know, how much is that? How much is this? I was like, look, I'm an artist. I'm not a job influencer, I'm an artist, I create amazing images. So I remember I doubled my prices and um, and it was like a crazy thing to do but I was like, look, you just, I'm with the wrong, um, positioning. And I sat there and I was like, have I, have I literally just torpedoed my business? And then ironically the next year I had the same amount of bookings for double the rate. Now this was based on people who wanted to pay for the artistic element, who wanted to work with me as an artist and as a creator as opposed to a jobber and a deliverer. And everything changed because I was just like, I'm going to come at this as an artist, not as a jobbing photographer. Now, not every industry can double your rates and it's not, maybe not appropriate as well. But the point here is that if you go into the state of being, and I remember that then for me, it's like, I'm going to be an artist now. I'm going to let go of this idea of photography. Jobbing Photographer. I'm going to be an artist and really create some beautiful work. And it shifted and, and I found that fascinating and I hope that story resonates with some people who might be hearing what we're saying here about I'm doing a lot to get out of my own way. But if you be different.

Well, I've, I've, I've Yeah, Sal, and I love that story, and it speaks to exactly what we're speaking to, because what you did there was an identity level change. Right, so you were doing photography, you were taking pictures, so there's a, there's a great model that's created by Robert Diltz in NLP and it's called the, some people call it the Logical Levels Neurological Map or whatever it is, but definitely, you know, if you, if people haven't seen it, go and, go and look at it, it's something that I use. So you've got your environment, this is at the wedding, your behaviour is, you're with the camera, you're snapping, you're taking pictures, doing videos, you've got the skills and capabilities, you've been trained to do that. Then you've got your beliefs and values. It's important and you believe that you're good at the work that you do. But the way that I work with people and the way that I see the biggest transformations and especially for solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, founders that want to be really successful in the business, you have to make an identity level shift. So you went from doing photography to being an artist and that's what people were buying into. They weren't buying into you doing photography. They were buying into Sal, the artist, and your artistry at that point was photography. But knowing what I know from you already Sal, is you've taken your artistry from photography to performance coaching. And, you know, the various different elements that are helping and supporting you to become, you know, the best version of yourself. So again, there is another, um, identity shift level. And on that note, that's probably the biggest thing that I do in my work is work with people who are practitioners, don't see themselves as the entrepreneur or see themselves as successful and go to the next level.

Oh, that's really interesting. So, when we talk about getting in your own way, or getting out of your own way, what are some of the more explicit examples of that? So we've been kind of talking around this, there are a lot of really good stuff on identity and how we're, the whole construction of it. But, how do some of these play out in common parlance? Like, what do people say? I've got X problem, or I have this experience. What are the ones you're seeing that we can name?

Yeah. So part of the exploration is figuring out what they actually mean by, um, I'm having this problem. And usually what people present as a problem, isn't a problem. So somebody might say, um, this is a classic example is I'm not good at selling myself is in, in the world of solo I'm not good at my selling myself, but actually what they're actually saying is. I don't think I'm any good at selling. And usually that's because there is a perception around what selling is. They may have had an experience of a negative salesperson. And so therefore they say, I don't want to do or be that. So I'm not good at selling. They totally ignored all of the positive experiences they've had of selling because guess what? That's what it's normally like to be selling. So, you know, unless it's a really great one that stands out, people will err on the side of, um, yeah, I'm not good at selling because I don't want to be identified as a salesperson. So that, that's a typical one. The other one is also people thinking. and this, this problem will present itself in different ways, but people thinking about what's the worst that could happen, right? So they're kind of like, oh, the worst can happen is this. So what they are effectively saying is they're fatal, afraid of failure because they're just thinking about failing. Whereas when you look at most entrepreneurs, they think about what's the worst gonna happen? But they're focused on what's the best that can happen. And they bring that into balance and alignment. So they are precautionary about some of the trappings, but actually they're focusing on what's the best that can happen, and every time they think what the best is can happen, and they exceed that, then there's a new best, and there's a new best, and there's a new best that can happen. But that takes practice in training yourself to think like that and be like that. So, those are two of the main things that really present themselves.

Yeah, thank you. Really interesting. Um, I like to, I sometimes use a principle of semiotics. This is actually a form of, um, science where, um, scientists look at meaning and symbols and feeling or affect it's called in technical language. And so when someone says to me, like, you know, I'm, I'm, uh, Oh, I don't want to sell myself. It's icky. It's like, I kind of get what you're saying. But what you're saying is not what we need to do here because you're not for sale, right? You know, no one is for sale. Your services might be for sale. Your expertise, your artistry is for sale. You are not for sale is one thing I often come across with this and I've been here myself. So I didn't know this question and pathway quite well. I find really interesting to go into the meaning because if we go well, but what does that mean the semantics of it? The meaning because if I mean it's icky and I don't like it or someone else is like, oh, I'll be so visible I can't handle it. I like playing with that domain as well like let's understand the meaning of it and is there a feeling connected because it normally is like if this means I'll be, uh, too visible, uh, really exposed. And that feels terrifying, scary, whatever it is. They're quite, they're quite powerful forces. And I sometimes like to play, figure out the meaning, name it, talk about it, feel it, whatever that is. And what's the feeling goes with them and then pull those apart a little bit. So we can separate that, you know, very deep. process that happens in the body. That I find really interesting. It's interesting as well about what you said about selling yourself, because actually in an entrepreneurial world, you're a salesperson. You sell your goods or services or your idea, whatever it is. And the funny thing is, I remember someone saying to me, if you have something amazing to offer the world, It's actually your duty to sell it, right? You know, if you offer a transformational change where you can help people truly live a free life, like you've got a duty, you can't just say, Oh, I might, might sell it next month. It's like, no, no, you should tell people, I do this great stuff. I can help these kinds of people. I'm here if you need me. I think that's a really interesting frame, isn't it? To put it in if you have something very deep to offer, actually, it's a duty. How does that resonate with you?

that resonates deeply and that's why my strapline is about living on purpose. So coming back to the logical levels map, at the bottom you've got environment, so these are the things that are around you. You know, so you're sitting down in a, in a room, you know, so that's your environment. What we're doing right now is we're speaking, we're speaking English, you know, we've got the skills and capability to do that. And there's certain things that we believe and value. So you know, the work that we do, and that's informing why I'm on this podcast and why you do this podcast in the first place. An identity level mindset, mindset code breaker. you know, performance, high performance, um, coach, you know, there's all sorts of things that happen. But at the top of that ladder is usually division and purpose. And that's something that goes beyond ourselves. So as soon as we get out, so this is why it's important to get out the way of ourselves. As soon as we get out the way of ourselves, stop judging ourselves, stop limiting ourselves and living in our beliefs of I don't deserve it. And actually, a really interesting point, I would probably say it's maybe about a 45 55 split between my clients, of those that are scared of failure, of doing this and it not working out, and those that are terrified of success. And that's a really, you know, that was something I never really expected that actually at some level they, they were terrified or not accepting of success. But as soon as we can get out of the way of ourselves, then we are living a purposeful life. And even, even that point, we live in a society which says, when you are doing something purposeful, and this is our value system, when we're doing something purposeful, we shouldn't be rewarded for it. And so we, we, you know, we pay footballers and sports people and whatever is huge amounts of money. But as we know, um, teachers, doctors, you know, there's various different elements, you know, even, um, garbage disposal or, or, you know, clearing the rubbish. That's if, if, if we had two weeks of no rubbish of, of no rubbish collection, right? Yeah. that the country would be in a real state, but that's really valuable. But what do they get paid? Right? So anyway, there's, there's other factors around that, but for many people, they go into the work that they're doing, which is very commendable and world changing. And it's only the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs in my opinion, that really get this is high value and I should be rewarded appropriately for that. It's a win, win, win scenario. Whereas most people kind of have this win, lose, I've got to lose somewhere.

Yeah, that's such a, such an important call out on perspective and, and you're right, if you are in the employed sector, there are certain parameters. It's a box, right? To name it, it's a box of certain pay ceilings you can have, certain rules, and that's how it is. And if that's right for you, that's okay. If you are in the entrepreneurial world, You make the rules. Now, and of course, there's a shadow side to this, right? It's up to you. You've got to make it, but you get to call what you're going to make. And I think that's both the excitement and the terror, the kind of dancing side by side. And I think anyone who's listened to this, who's sort of either teetering on joining solopreneurship, someone's going to the next level, going from freelance to a founder, wherever you are at that shift point where there's, you're in your own way. I really would say this. You do get to create your own rules as an entrepreneur. Mostly. Yeah, of course there are some limits in the world, but mostly you get to create your own rules. So what rules are you going to create is the next question to go with that. Because if you create rules that I can only earn X amount and I've got to struggle and suffer, then you wrote those rules. You're the CEO of your own company. So perhaps get really clear on that, that you have a more agency than you might realize here. And actually that's an empowerment state. As you said, that's the place to help someone come from. I also want to speak to the coaching arena, you know, us, us coaching change people. Now, I have quite a strong view on the, uh, so I'm, uh, I've been around this planet half a century in earth years. Plus I've been around a while. I have quite a strong view on the where I work on my own mindset. So this is very personal to me where I do all the psychology work. I've been doing it for years and years and years and I do things that align to that to breath work because that's going to change the biochemistry and the neurology. I also do a lot of physical training because if my body is optimized and feeling good and playful so is everything else. Now you're in mostly the the mindset domain. How are you aligning other parts of the human system? whether it's movement, whether it's consciousness, breathwork, what, what are you doing, Earl, that's that, that's involving that whole system? Because I'm really interested in this, what you said about being, um, either misaligned or aligned. So what are you doing in that space,

Yeah. And it's interesting. So, you know, from, are you talking about for me or for my clients?

for your work in particular? Yeah,

Okay, so I do a number of different things. Um, and I'm not trying to be all things to all people. So one of the things that I do is I'll collaborate with different people to bring out the best in people. Um, but I run a retreat in Thailand, for example. So I run this retreat. I run it once a year. Hopefully from next year, I'm going to be running at least twice a year. And this was, this will be one of. a number of different retreats that are run, but that's all about detoxing. That's about doing mindfulness. That's about doing yoga. You go for a swim. Um, you know, you eat really healthy food. We're doing things that support the whole system. And as you said, because you can't just, the mind is the system and that's the whole of your neurology. That's using your somatic. I'll talk about the five intelligences and, and, you know, The Somatic, the Cognitive Intelligence, the Emotional Intelligence, the Intuitive Intelligence, and the Spiritual Intelligence. And what I mean by Spiritual Intelligence is our connection that's beyond the internal representation. So, knowing that walking in nature or putting your feet on the ground or having the sun on your face has an effect on you, for me, that's part of the Spiritual Intelligence that we are connected in. The outside world has an effect on us. So that's a really important point. So I look at it in being very holistic, but I'm not prescriptive. So for example, I do qigong, right? So that's, that's my breath work that I do. Um, I'm also training, as I said, um, a cohort of breath workers to be solo opener. So I understand that side of the business. I also do exercise. So I understand the value of that, but I encourage people. and this is about empowerment to find the ways that work for them. So they're not just doing an aspect, they're doing all aspects to support themselves. But what's really interesting on this point Sal, is I don't necessarily even have to be explicit about it. When I work with clients, again, um, a client said to me recently, which I wasn't working with them. on any element of the physicality piece. It was, it was very much focused on the business, but they start showing up in business differently. And now they're going to the gym and how they're approaching the gym is differently to how they approached the gym before. And they were saying to me, it's like, I don't understand what's changed. They don't, they can't figure it out, but it's kind of like, if you're going to be 10 X in one area, you're not going to be 10 X in one area and two X in another area. You're going to be 10 X everywhere.

I love that. Yeah,

And so, that shows up in terms of your

yeah. And it comes, cycles back to everything we're talking about. How to get out of your own way is to really be in the right way. That's what it feels like to me. If you're in the right way, not in your own way, You go to the gym, you might go to Zumba, you might do some yoga, you might do Qigong, Judo, you might go stand up paddleboard. It doesn't matter so much what choice you use, but you connect to your body, nature, movements, something greater than the individual. And one of the things I found, and it sort of, it sort of mirrors what you're saying here, is that a lot of people's problems are disconnection. And I see it as either disconnection in their thinking, Disconnection in their thinking and their feelings. So from their mind to their body, or it could be disconnection between the physical self, them as a person and their surroundings, their social environment. And if we can get the reconnection happening, it seems that, ah, we've just linked up the flow again and things start to flow. Not effortlessly, but without friction. You know, there's sometimes energy in, in, in this work, but there's, the friction's removed and I love them. So thank you. Um, and yes, in Qigong, uh, fantastic discipline. I've done, I've tried most things. I tried lots of different things. Um, but what I have found, is that when we are embodied, that's what I found in my own experience and people I work with, when we're embodied, whether that's from yoga, which was where it's really got for me and now it's more in the strength domain, but moving the body with conscious awareness of who is here doing the exercise. changes everything. And then that transposed into how I am in my relationships and in my business and my, my work. So that, that's one thing I think for me, it's important to, to kind of hold the, hold the flag up and say, look, this seems to be now we've got enough knowledge and data on this to be the right way. There are certain elements that need taking care of good nutrition. Yeah. Maybe going on a retreat and really becoming mindful. and doing your mind work. So amazing. Oh, I'd love to get your final thoughts on, uh, particularly for our listener who's sitting here going, right, totally. I am in my own way. I've heard Earl. I've got it out. Yeah. I'm in my own way. I'm hearing some of the block points. I'm hearing some of the ways through it. What would you suggest they do? Um, obviously outside of, um, connecting with you directly or correcting me directly, what would you suggest they do if they are hearing this and going, yeah, I've kind of been called out. I'm getting in my own way with these, these things that Earl has spoken about. What would you suggest is the first step that they can do?

Yeah, um, I would also like to respond to what you said a little bit earlier, if that's okay as well. And I think, you know, Sal, you made some really pertinent points there, and, you know, I can see the synergy in the ways that we work about that disconnection and how to reconnect because that is, that is in essence, which is I call alignment, is the mindset code breaking. It's looking for the disconnections or the misalignments and reconnecting them. But sometimes, and I'm interested in understanding what you see is the causes for some of that, like what creates the, the, the disconnection and And what, what do you see about how to reconnect it? And, and then I'll go on to answer your question as well.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Thank you for asking. Um, so what I see is the disconnection is the ideation. So the idea that, and you'll know it cause there'll be words like should, It's always something outside or something not quite within one's grasp. Like, I should be this. I did it. It's like, okay, so that's interesting. That's already a big tail. Like there's something, there's an eye, there's an idea of the self. and there's an actuality and they are, they are different things. They're separate or there's a, there's a break there, as you've already alluded to. So I'm interested in that. I'm very interested in when people can't connect with their body as well. So I might say to a client, let's say they're, they're struggling with imposter syndrome and we'll work through that. And I might say, well, where in your body has any sensation as you describe that difficult feeling. And if someone says, I don't know what you're on about, you know, they're living absolutely in, you know, this little domain up here, all in the head. And the worrying fact is we pretty much would say that 95 percent of the mind is subconscious. And that involves the body from the, literally from the, all the fascial networks in there, all the molecular structures in there. We know trauma is held in the body. Somehow we think it's in the cells of the molecules, the fascia. So, If someone's not connected to their body, that's my first job is to help them reconnect. And from the overt, such as if you do heavy weight training, you can't not connect your body. The more subtle, like a yoga or qigong, yes, that becomes more refined. Doesn't matter where we start, we start at the right place. But that's what I'm looking for, because the idea versus the actuality. I want to close that gap, as you've alluded, there's a gap there as well. Can we, can we bring those closer? One last thing I want to say at this point. People all know about the word ego and often it's got a misunderstanding, but ego is often a construct who built it is what I'm interested in. And if you have a fragile ego, which I met, I had years ago, and I've worked with many people have fragile egos and you'll know it cause you're oversensitive or it's really reactive to things you might've got built with someone else's materials. So if we can help that break away, like an old shell, the real you can come out. You know, the real you that's full of maybe joy or gentleness or power, whatever it is, is often actually constrained within this idea of you. So that's what I'm looking for in this sort of psychological, emotional crossover. and it plays out physically. There'll be a physical expression somewhere, somehow, as someone works through that. That's what I've seen.

Yeah, brilliant. I, I love that. and and I see it pretty much as the same. I, I don't necessarily focus on, on why the disconnection has happened because there's, there's, Usually multiple reasons. The biggest ones that we see is trauma and the other one is judgment. Um, you know, and even judgment can come from trauma. So, you know, there's that, there's that kind of marriage there. Um, and the ego. Absolutely. We are the construct of our ego. So definitely recognize and see that. Um, but once we change, the ego changes. And that's a really interesting one. But yeah, we've got to have a different conversation because there's some things there that I want to address as well and discuss with you. Um, but in, in terms of your, your question, so getting out of the way of, of ourselves. So first of all, you, there's a couple of things that need to happen is what's your starting point and what do you want? So then usually when we're getting in the way of ourselves, there is a level of direction of us. I'm trying to go somewhere, I'm trying to do something, I'm trying to be someone and I'm struggling with that. So where are you now and where do you want to be? So the first thing is what do you want is the starting point and what story are you telling yourself that is getting in the way. So these are some of the things that I look at. If I'm working with somebody. So, actually, I'll do it this way. I'd invite the listeners, if they are in the getting in the way themselves, what are they, what are you feeling right now? What is the emotion that you're feeling? Name, identify that emotion and just check into that emotion. What would you want to feel? How would you want to feel? What's the difference? And this is what I'm calling the intention. And what story are you telling yourself that is in the way of how you feel today to how you want to feel? Okay? And then once you feel the positive feeling that you want, the feeling that you want to actually experience, what will happen as a result of you feeling that feeling? So, I'll give a quick example. I'm feeling demotivated. I'm feeling frustrated. How do you want to feel? I want to feel inspired. I want to feel motivated. Okay. What will happen as a result of you feeling inspired and motivated? I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to do all the paperwork that I haven't done for the last six months. I'm going to do the things. I'm going to reach out to that person that I didn't think I was going to, you know, reach out to or apply for that job or walk into my boss's office and ask for a pay rise. So it's really focusing on what is, what's your current state, what's the desired state, and what's the outcome of that state, of that um, state that you've, you've experiencing.

Oh, that is a fantastic walkthrough of what someone could do. Really great example. So thank you. Well, dear listener, you have been hopefully enlightened. And often I think of getting in my own way as a shadow, like metaphorically and physically. Bring the light, clear the shadow. So, Earl, thank you for your thoughts, your wisdom, uh, for taking us on a bit of a journey there. Uh, dear listener, as always, if there's something that's got you here, go back over it, write this stuff down. This is gold and implement it. Let us know what happens. So until the next time, take care.