Hello, hello, and

welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

today. I want to thank you all for your messages. It was

incredible the support and love I felt from you, during my five

days of struggling here, and I had a black widow, biting me in

the neck, and in and out of the hospital several times and

worried worries and discomfort and everything. And yeah, you

guys are just incredible. I know why I'm showing up for you three

times a week, here on this podcast, and on Facebook several

times a week with little videos, because I appreciate you so

much. And I want to share tools with the world that helped me to

become a more fulfilled person, a happier person. And yeah, it's

incredible to receive this feedback from you. Thank you so

much. If you're new to this podcast, make sure to subscribe.

If you're a longtime listener, thank you so much for being

here, I appreciate you so much. And if you want to do me a huge

favor, leave me a review, and a rating on Apple podcast for

other people to make it easy to find this podcast. Today I want

to talk about acting like a loving person. Or being a loving

person walking in love speaking love. It is two very different

things. And I feel a lot of people can sense this after

being in relationship for a while. And we feel like Ah, it's

kind of a routine now. And I'm kind of doing those loving

things because they are expected from me. And I'm saying these

things because, again, it's part of this routine, but I don't

really feel that way anymore. What is wrong with me? What is

wrong with a relationship? What is wrong with the other person?

What am I supposed to do now? Should I just leave? Will I

regret one day if I just leave? I feel those thoughts are

totally normal. And there's nothing wrong with you. I can

imagine that. What happened along the way is that you

started to shut down your heart. With every level of

disappointment with every little hurt, your heart closed up more.

And it's kind of clogged up now. And your brain your mind still

knows how to act lovingly. But it's getting more and more

exhausting. And passion is not there anymore. sex drive is not

there anymore. You kind of feel resentful, even angry. You want

to avoid. You want to fight but not really. Because you know you

you don't really have anything to point your finger at. It's

just a whole mess that you're sitting in. And you're blaming

yourself. It makes you feel horrible. Trust me, I've been in

that situation. I've been in that situation many times. And I

experienced that this happened because I was not honest with

myself. And because I abandoned myself because I didn't stand up

for myself anymore. And I was adapting too much to my partner.

And it is not their fault. We have to stop blaming the other

and have to start looking at ourselves of course. disclaimer

here. There's all different kinds of relationships,

situations, and

maybe yours is different than mine. But right now I'm just

talking about how you can look at yourself and change. Become

yourself again. And this, in turn, will change your

relationship for the better as well. And it is not so much

about going back in time and, and looking what went wrong. It

is more about how can you learn to express yourself

authentically, again, how can you make space in between you

guys without rejecting and hurting the other person, but

doing something for yourself, for your own good, without

feeling selfish, you know, if you've been a very outdoorsy

person, and then you met your sweetheart, and all of a sudden

you became a very homey kind of person, there will be a point

where resentment will come up. And you will not even know why.

But it is your longing for this little sense of freedom that you

used to have that you want back. And you're going to take it out

on the other person, and they're not going to understand why we

have everything we're happy. But you didn't allow them truly to

see who you are. You adapt it right away to meet their needs,

and you gave up the person you were. And now you blame them.

That's not fair. And that's you hiding in victim mentality.

You're not a victim, you are in a situation now that you have to

slowly untangle yourself again, and you have to learn to speak

your truth again. And when when it comes to love when it comes

to feeling love for another person. The most important thing

is that you learn to feel your feelings again, when your path

to your heart is clogged up is not clear. It means that you

don't allow emotions to be felt to be processed to be expressed

to be seen by the other person. You hold back you suppress in

order to fit in, in order to not disturb the other person or

their relationship. But in doing so you harm yourself. And this

is the result. You can't feel your heart anymore. You can't

feel loving anymore. Because the path to your heart is blocked.

So

it's a difficult situation to sit in. I totally see that. But

it's the most beautiful path you can imagine being on the path of

clearing the way to your heart to your own heart. You have to

start doing things for yourself again, is it hobbies that you

gave up a long time ago? Is it a new hobby that you always wanted

to try? Is it people that you want to meet without thinking of

cheating on your partner, anything, maybe it is a language

that you want to learn. You have to create a little bit of space

in between you and your partner and discover yourself again. And

in doing so you will spark a deep curiosity on the other

person and maybe even fear because all of a sudden he's

dancing outside of the box. That's uncomfortable that scares

me. And you might have to put up with the fear of your partner

and do it anyways. Without being inessa No, not without being an

athlete without being a mean person, but very direct. And you

can even comfort them and say hey honey, like I feel I ignored

myself I'd neglected myself and I need to take better care of

myself. And in doing so, you also give the other person space

to do the same. You No, sometimes we get so used to

sitting in the same house in the same pot for so long, and we

have our little routines. And it's kind of getting boring. And

if you are the one who started stepping out and starting to do

new things, the other person is left whether we say vacuum, like

an empty space is better to say, in English. And they will fill

that empty space with what they can be passionate about. Again,

and they might feel at first with fear and anxiety and maybe

anger towards you, but it is okay. It is their little, like

struggles that they might have to go through a little bit, you

can reassure them, but do it anyways. And then you kind of

teach them how to take care of themselves again. And then one

day soon, you can meet again, and talk about the adventures

that you experienced. And you can maybe hear in my voice you

can hear like novelty and excitement and what have you

been doing? Tell me about your day. And I want to know more

about you. And I didn't know that you were such a good

painter, such a good singer.

You kind of unlock love on a deeper level again, and you give

possibility for growth. So many times we feel stuck in routine

and stuck in behavior and not loving behavior, but just like

yeah, routines, and it makes us feel dull and numb. And then

once we step out and do new things, then we kind of stretch

the comfort zone and we make the other people yeah, maybe

interested in themselves again to maybe they meet with friends

again, or whatever they choose to do. I feel so often we think

cheating on our partner is the way out. Because it is novelty

it is someone seeing us with fresh eyes, someone being

curious about us, someone opening us up to a new world.

But trust me, you can do it. without cheating on your

partner. You can open up a new world to your partner in taking

better care of yourself again, and in remembering who you were

and who you are and who you want to be in the future. And if your

partner truly loves you, they will see exactly what's going

on. And they will appreciate it and know that at the end of the

day, they would totally benefit from it as well. So spread your

wings and think about the things that you wanted to do for a long

time but haven't and know that Yeah, you might be facing

rejection and fear and anxiety from your partner. And you might

feel very nervous about the step two because it is new to you.

But it is so worth it. It is so endlessly worth it. to spark

love inside of your chest again, deep appreciation for your

partner to see that they allow you to explore, they trust you.

They want you to be happy. And then you can feel your heart

again because you found your way back to yourself. You know who

you are, again, you feel yourself you feel alive. And

from that point, you can give love again because you have so

much respect for yourself. This was my first episode after

struggling with dizziness, nausea and my Black Widow bite

there. I hope it was very clear and I hope I got my message out

there. And I hope I was bringing you lots of value and loving

vibes hopeful vibes. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your

host Aurora and I will be back out there very soon again. Take