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Hey, everybody, it's Becky
here and Zer. And we are here for

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another episode of the
podcast, and we have two very special

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guests here with us today. If
you guys would introduce yourself

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to us and, you know, if you'll
have, like, a specific relationship,

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if y'all will also say that,
too, that'd be great. Yeah.

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Well, my name is Chance Coleman.

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And I'm Tesea Coleman.

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And we're married.

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And we actually had a specific
topic that we invited them on, and

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I had heard kind of a lot of.
We've had conversations. Tessie actually

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did my makeup for my wedding,
and we talked a lot about this topic

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whenever we were doing it. And
I've heard how you guys have shepherded

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Yale's community group in
this. And so I just kind of wanted

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to. We just wanted to have a
conversation about money and budgeting

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and student loan debt for
those who have it, and. Yeah. And

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so I just kind of wanted to
ask, like, I. I guess I can start

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with just personal experience.
So. I didn't grow up with money at

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all. We were kind of. I don't
want to say broke, but that's the

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only word that comes to mind
at the time. And, you know, I think

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in a lot of way, inherited
wealth is a thing, I think. Inherited.

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I don't know. Not poverty, but
inherited, like a misunderstanding

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of money and finances is also
inherited. And so didn't have a whole

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lot of understanding of money
or what it's like, and so had to

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learn a lot in it as I became
an adult. Earning money and spending

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money at the same time. Like,
what does school look like? What

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is living? What does up
renting look like? What do groceries

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look like? How often can I go
out for fast food? And I just kind

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of learned how to live
paycheck to paycheck. Like, I knew

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my limits, and I went all. All
the way up close to the line and

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sometimes went in debt to go
over it. And then, you know, the

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end result was just. Yeah,
just feeling overwhelmed and burdened

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by it. So that's just kind of
my take coming into this. But I'd

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love to hear more about how
you guys, like, maybe were introduced

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to it. Kind of what that looks like.

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Yeah, absolutely. I want to
start off this conversation by saying

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that we are not financial
advisors at all. You know, like,

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we're not financial advisors.
We're not professionals. So anything

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that we're going to share
during this time is just our experiences

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and our stories. We have seen
God do incredible things and bless

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us in ways that we couldn't
have anticipated in the midst of

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some hard situations. So we're
not here to say this is how you have

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to do it or this is what
everybody should do. We're just here

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to explain, hey, here's our
story and what we've walked in.

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And we're still learning.

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Yeah, we're not.

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We're not millionaires, so.
And we probably never will be. But

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just the process of. Yeah. The
things that we're learning and still

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learning to today and. But
still seeing the Lord's fruitfulness

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even in those years.

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Yeah, right.

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And then just the excitement
of, like, what could it look like

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to continue to be faithful in
this area?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we.

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Or you can start with like,
your. Was it our personal introductions

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to many.

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Yeah, yeah.

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You can go first.

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Yeah, yeah. I grew up in a
situation where we never, like, from

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my perspective, we really
never really, like, needed to worry

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about money. Money was never
really an issue. The only reason

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why I wouldn't be able to go
to like, a concert or to go, you

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know, to a soccer game or
something like that would be because

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my parents didn't want me to
for either because it's not a good

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part of town or, you know,
something along those lines or. Or

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like, we didn't have time to
be able to go do those things. It

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wouldn't be because of
finances, you know, So I grew up

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in a situation where I never
really had to worry about finances.

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Growing up, both parents had,
you know, double income, household,

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great jobs, and so never
really worried about that. Then I

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went to college, and right
after college, I worked for a church

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that the employees of this
church got their income through support

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raising, meaning that we
needed to go out, start relationships

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with people and in churches
and stuff like that, or talk to people

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that we were already connected
with and ask them to invest in what

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we were doing for the sake of
the kingdom. Right. And so with that,

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you know, my. I grew up with
my parents not really struggling

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with finances. To me now
asking people, would you invest in

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me? And what God is doing in
my life? Which is. Which was a pretty

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stark contrast to what I grew
up with. You know, going from, like,

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never really worrying about
food to, like, you know, meal prepping,

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like, little baggies of, you
know, of chicken that we would, you

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know, Ziploc and throw in the
freezer, you know, like, that was.

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So I went from, like, not
really struggling at all to then

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being in a place where, like,
I needed to. I had to be really wise

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with my finances. I was put in
a Position where I had to learn what.

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What it looked like to not
walk in foolishness with my. With

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my money, or else I just. I
wasn't going to make it in what I

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felt like God was calling me
to do. You know, if finances. If

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I didn't figure my finances
out, then it was going to get in

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the way of the kingdom work
that God was doing through me. And

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that. That felt unacceptable
to me, so was kind of thrown into

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the fire and had to figure
things out pretty quickly. And, you

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know, my parents were in the
position that they were in because

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they were wise with their
money, you know, so learned wise

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saving and spending habits as,
you know, growing up, which then

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transferred to being really
helpful when I was in a situation

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where I wasn't making a lot of
money. And I think they always taught

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me, like, contentment, you
know, no matter what they were, you

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know, really, they didn't have
to tell me no a lot, but they did

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just to be able to teach me
those that, you know, give me the

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character traits that would be
okay with. With being told no or

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not having everything you ever
wanted. And so that benefited me

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in a position when I was in a
position where I couldn't have anything

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I wanted, you know, when I was
in a position where I couldn't just

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go grab something, couldn't
just go grab a bite to eat, couldn't

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just go, you know, go to that
concert that I really wanted to go

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to. You know what I mean?
Because it was. Because it wasn't

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available to me. So that's.
That was my experience with how I

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learned about finances. Yeah.

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Yeah. Mine is a little bit
different. We just. Very different

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family backgrounds. So in the
future is interesting putting those

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two perspectives together. But
my family originally from Brazil,

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and when we moved to the
States, it was interesting because

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it was very much the concept
of like, hey, we're coming to America

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so you can have these
opportunities that you probably wouldn't

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have back home. And so whether
it was from my parents or for me,

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I was very little, but in my
brain I was like, I need to make

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money and I need to work
really hard and I need to be the

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best at school because my
parents gave me this opportunity

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of coming to America. And so,
yes, yes. And so I worked really

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hard and tried to be the best
so that I could go to school. And.

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But the idea of money before,
before I went to college was I just

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need to. I just need to make
money. And so I started really young

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at like 8 years old, just
working around our neighborhood and

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we were fine. Like we were
average middle class and it was North

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Dakota, so it was low cost of
living. But I just, from a very young

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age I already had financial
scarcity, fear. And so my parents

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were okay with it and. But
they did tell me, like, your number

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one job is school. So it was
very much retroactively. Looking

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back retrospectively, I was
putting it on myself as well. But

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I knew I wanted to go out of
state and so went to college out

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of state. And I think that was
a season where as a parent, you're

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trying to help your child be
very independent and make their own

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decisions. But how do you
balance that with, oh, an 18 year

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old girl who wants to go out
of state for college. And that's

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a huge financial decision. And
so my family also didn't talk about

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money. So I didn't have the
education I needed before making

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that huge financial decision
to go into that much debt. And so

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moved to Washington. I learned
a lot about money going through just

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what I went through with
student loans and made a lot of decisions.

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My first year of college was
very expensive, so many loans. But

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the decisions I was able to
make while in college made my last

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semester like five grand
compared to my freshman year was

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44 grand. And so I had to
really hustle and make decisions

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and work with the school and
figure out what I could do. And there

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were highs and there were also
lows and there were seasons of no

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employment and couch surfing.
And the way I view money now is really

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formed from that experience. I
had about $120 for the month for

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about seven months. And I just
really relied on the generosity of

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friends, places that I could
stay. And it was a really hard time.

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But the Lord still used that
for how I see money now and then

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after that, being able to have
a job and getting married and support

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raising. So even when we were
support raising, I still had the

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pressure of like, I need to
make money. I need to, you know,

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get, get us out of this debt
that I put us in that he said yes

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to. And yeah, so it was really
cool to just see how the Lord framed

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how I viewed money going into
support raising. After a season of

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not a lot of money, I'm like,
oh, I could, I could make it. You're

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telling me I have $20, I can
make that last. Praise God for $20.

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And so, and then we've just
kept growing from there, learning

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together more about money and
now being in a position where we

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don't support raise and I'm
not couch surfing Anything I feel

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like we have from the Lord is
a blessing.

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Yeah.

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And all of that to get to this
place of gratitude. Gratitude. I

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want to steward this. Well,
how do we. And just be open and honest

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and kind of like what you
mentioned earlier. We've talked to

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a lot of people in our
community group about just being

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open with our experiences with
money and what we've learned to hopefully

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help them too.

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And lift the shame curtain.
Yeah. Like, I think it's so big.

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Like, I kind of want to. I
want to hear what you have to say,

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but I also kind of want to
piggyback on what you said, like,

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about, you know, student loan
debt. He said yes to this kind of

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thing. I. I went through the
same thing, or maybe not the same,

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but like something similar.
Whenever me and Carlos started dating

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and I had. Well, we were
friends for a long time and I had

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mentioned, like, I wanted to
go on missions. My first exposure

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to missions was when I came on
staff and like I started working

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with missions and I was
hearing about all these amazing things

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and I felt like the Lord
planted that in my heart. And I was

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like, period. Yes, send me.
I'm ready. And then I was like, oh,

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frick. Like, I have. Like,
they're not. Dang it. Like they're

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gonna. Like. And Richard had.
Our missions pastor had told me about

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like some organizations that
you can, like, you know, they'll,

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they'll make. They'll help you
with that. But anyways, and so like,

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kind of like he had already
been exposed to it. But once we started

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dating, I literally, in my
mind, I had so much shame about my

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student loans. Cause I felt
like it talked a lot about my identity,

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about my value as a person.
Like, I'm like, you're, you know,

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you're hitching your wagon to
this. Busted. Like falling apart

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one. Like, I'm like, your
future is already written out for

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you if you marry me kind of
thing. And again, I agree with you.

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Like, I don't. I didn't have a
whole lot of the knowledge. And also

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like, I, I worked in higher
education whenever I was getting

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my, my degrees. And there's
not a whole lot of education about

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like, this is like you're
sending like little 18 year olds

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to basically sign off on
mortgages. You know, like, it's like,

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it's. There's not a whole lot
of education. And I remember whenever

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I work, I was always very
honest. I was like, look, homie,

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like, you can't do this. Like,
like I would go to a community college,

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come back like with
scholarships, like, you know, and,

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and I'm not saying that you
can't go to a four year program.

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Like, that's not what I'm
saying. But I think having your eyes

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wide open into making a
decision like that is super important.

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And I didn't, I didn't have that.

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Having the wisdom to see your
options and being okay with them.

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I feel like, I don't know
about you guys, but when I was in

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high school school, it was
like, you can't go to community college.

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Like, that looks pretty bad.
And it's like, no, that's the smartest

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route. And I wish I would have
done that.

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Absolutely. 100. Yeah. The
amount of money that I would have

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saved to be able to start off
and my freshman year of college was

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00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:07,240
horrible. Like, you know, I, I
had fun, but I also, man, I crazy.

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Like, I, I remember walking
into like my Poli Sci 103 class,

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00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,560
like during dead week, and
asking my professor, like, what would

217
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,040
it take for me to pass this
class? You know, what do I need to

218
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,520
get on the final? This is how
bad freshman year went. He said,

219
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,200
chance, man, listen, if you
got a 200% on the final, you'd still

220
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,960
be failing my class. Don't
even worry about it, bro. Just like,

221
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so I would have loved, I would
have loved to do that.

222
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:34,960
Yeah.

223
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,000
At a community college instead
of a four year university, you know,

224
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,520
would have loved to learn that
lesson there instead of learning

225
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,320
that lesson with thousands of
dollars on my, on my shoulders.

226
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,760
Yeah, no, I, I agree. And I, I
think. And again, like, to those

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00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,000
people that have already,
they're like, dang, I should have

228
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,600
heard this four years ago. I'm
already in this whole, like, I'm

229
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,440
like there. I think we're,
we're not, we're not just talking

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00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,920
to like the high schoolers
that are about to. On the precipice,

231
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,680
but also like trying to give
those that were in similar boats.

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Like, there's hope. Like,
there's. You still have choices,

233
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,760
you still have options. Carlos
still married me, you know, like,

234
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,380
I'm like, period. Like, if
race got it. Remember the conversation

235
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:16,140
is. It was our premarital. And
the two chapters I was really anxious

236
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:20,260
about were the chapters about
money and sex. And I was like, in

237
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,900
my mind, I was like, he's
like, whenever we have those conversations,

238
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:26,300
like, it's, it's over. We're
not gonna make it past that. And

239
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:30,500
we got to the, to both
chapters and we were talking and

240
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:34,020
talking about them, and I
remember, like, I had like the Summation

241
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,820
of all of my debt. And I had
it on a number. And I was like, this

242
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:39,990
is. This is. And almost like,
presenting it to him like, this is

243
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:42,390
my dowry. Like, this is what
you're going to have to, like, pay,

244
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:45,470
like, to marry me kind of
thing. And he, like, didn't even

245
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:49,910
flinch, bro. He was like,
okay. Like, I don't understand. Like,

246
00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:53,150
and so just even, like, that
was very. And I immediately started

247
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,070
crying, like, because it was
just, like. I felt like it was just

248
00:14:56,070 --> 00:15:00,790
like. So it was built up in my
head to be like, I'm worthless because

249
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:03,980
of this. Like, or I have all
these issues because of this. And

250
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:06,580
then, like, even talking it
through with him after the fact of,

251
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:09,820
like, student loan debt does
not take away from your value in

252
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:14,060
Jesus. Like, it does not. It,
like, you are. It is not like a death

253
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:17,620
warrant on the rest on your
future or, like, it's none of that.

254
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:20,300
Like, it's just something that
you'll walk through, but it's for

255
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:24,820
a season, too. Like, it's not
permanent. So. Yeah. Anyway, I just

256
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:25,540
wanted to talk about that.

257
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:29,140
The way that Tessa presented
it to me when we were engaged was.

258
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:31,060
Or it might have even been dating.

259
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,500
Because I'm like, don't get on it.

260
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,700
Don't propose to me. Yeah.

261
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,530
Like, this is your outcome.

262
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,080
Yeah. That's the way that she
presented it to it. Like, if you

263
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,480
want to break up with me right
now, I completely understand, you

264
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:45,480
know? Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's
a lot. Yeah. I would not blame you

265
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,320
if you did. Yeah.

266
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,280
Because he has to consider
himself at that time. He's a single

267
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:53,600
young male, and he did not
have debt. But then he was like,

268
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,240
but you have enough debt for
both of us.

269
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,040
Yeah. It's like, if we both
had debt and come together. Yeah.

270
00:15:59,040 --> 00:15:59,760
Right, right.

271
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,610
He's always at that.

272
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:04,570
And the way Carlos talked
about it, he was like, I think of

273
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:07,090
it as something that we'll
tackle together. Like, you know,

274
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:11,010
that we'll get to do together.
So. Yeah, I'm. I'm glad that we got

275
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,650
to talk about that, but zur.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about.

276
00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:14,930
In all of it. Any of it.

277
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:17,450
There's a lot. I mean, my
upbringing is a little different,

278
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:21,610
so my parents came from the
Philippines, and then I was born,

279
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,530
and they came for the American dream.

280
00:16:23,530 --> 00:16:24,010
Yeah.

281
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:29,090
But my dad was a pastor, and
then my mom was actually more of

282
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:32,250
the breadwinner of the family,
but both of them worked extremely

283
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:37,690
hard to the point where I
never had. I. All my needs were met.

284
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,330
Like, I didn't get everything
I wanted, but all my needs were met.

285
00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:45,290
Right. Like I wasn't ever in
want. And so, but what I saw from

286
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:50,930
them modeled for me was
extreme generosity. Yeah. Like to

287
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:53,720
the point where, like it. If
you know my family, it's kind of

288
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,360
crazy. My dad didn't take a
paycheck from the church, so he worked

289
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,240
graveyard shift and my mom
worked graveyard shift so that way

290
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,040
they could provide for our
family. And all my dad did was full

291
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,000
time ministry. Ministry while
at the same time at night working

292
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000
graveyard shift.

293
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,440
Yeah.

294
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:13,160
And it was to me and then to
see his generosity in the way that

295
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,760
they give towards people, the
way we opened up our homes, the way

296
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,040
we.

297
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:16,840
Yeah.

298
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,280
Sent money back home to the
Philippines. Like there was just

299
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:25,070
sometimes it was a little
unwise in my mind. But for them it

300
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:28,230
was like they were just trying
to be obedient to the generous heart

301
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:32,270
that God was calling them to
be. But then they kind of in a way

302
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:36,829
protected me when I came into
high school, college years because

303
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:40,190
they just wanted me to get the
cheapest education. So they shipped

304
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,630
me away to the Philippines. My
dad was like, ah, go to go to school

305
00:17:42,630 --> 00:17:45,110
in the Philippines. And it was
incredibly cheap.

306
00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:45,630
Yeah.

307
00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:49,150
I come back, I couldn't finish
education there in college and so

308
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,390
I still wanted to finish
seminary. And seminary is cheap compared

309
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:57,470
to anything else. So my, my
mom just gave me a deadline. She

310
00:17:57,470 --> 00:18:00,830
was like, if you can finish
between this date, it was like two

311
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:04,550
and a half years. I'll pay for
everything. I said, yeah, yeah. You

312
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:08,230
know, take the 18 hour
semesters, all this stuff. So I didn't

313
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:12,430
first have to really learn
about money and like budgeting and

314
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:17,590
ownership of it or rather
stewardship of it until really I

315
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:21,990
graduated college, I got my
first job. And this is at the time

316
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:25,030
I already said, I'm gonna
marry Farrah. So it was like I got

317
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,430
my first job and I was like, oh.

318
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,590
And I did.

319
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:32,990
I had to figure it out quick.
I was like, what do you mean? I only

320
00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:36,270
get this much if I work 40
hours. Oh, I gotta work overtime

321
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:39,550
to make more. And it's like,
it was so confusing. But at the same

322
00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:42,940
time, God in his grace just
has sustained us because I took a

323
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:44,980
lot of different odd jobs here
and there.

324
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:45,540
Yeah.

325
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:51,540
And praise God, like before we
had Kai, you know, Dink. Right. Dual

326
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:55,300
income, no kids, was really
helpful for us in the beginning because

327
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,500
we were still learning or
still fiddling with consumer debt.

328
00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:02,460
But it wasn't crazy because
she didn't have any, like, student

329
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:04,260
loans. I didn't have any
student loans. So it was just like

330
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:08,150
really just learning how to
manage consumer debt for, for us.

331
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:14,110
And so then after having kids,
it was really just for us. It was

332
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,710
more continuing to practice
the things that we've already learned.

333
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:17,070
Yeah.

334
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:19,950
Because there were seasons
where it's like, we get lazy and

335
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,910
then debt would rack up. But
then it's like, okay, we know how

336
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,790
to get out of this. We have
the wisdom for it. We just need to

337
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:26,550
stick to the plan.

338
00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:27,030
Yeah.

339
00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:28,070
And that's kind of been my.

340
00:19:28,230 --> 00:19:29,230
Yeah. Exposure.

341
00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:30,350
Exposure to it, I think.

342
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:34,900
Also, I kind of want to talk
about, like, practical steps, like,

343
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,740
not like, you know, all of us
are married. Like, you know, so like

344
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:40,340
practical steps, like for
married couples, young married couples,

345
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,660
but also for like singles.
What did budgeting look like in those

346
00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:46,420
single years for you? Or
things that you like, you don't have

347
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:50,740
to be married to put this into
practice kind of thing. I think for

348
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:55,780
me, an. You just have to be
self aware of your weak points. Like,

349
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:59,100
and so like, I. We were
literally. Okay, random question,

350
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:03,210
pause. We were talking about
this earlier. What is the dumbest,

351
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:07,450
most expensive thing you've
bought? Like, this is just. We don't

352
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:09,650
have to talk deeply about it.
I just kind of want to know. I just

353
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:11,890
want to, like, lighten up the
mood a little bit. But, like, what

354
00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:12,330
is the.

355
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,890
That we just spent stupid
amount of money on?

356
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:19,650
Or it could be like a theme of
something. Like, for me, I talked,

357
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,770
I was thinking about it and I
was like, I don't really, like, like

358
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:25,730
to spend money. Like, I mean,
I love to spend money, but on a bunch

359
00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:28,960
of little things. Like, I love
to buy stupid little things. But

360
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,400
if I could like, collectively
sum up all the amount of money on

361
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,760
fast food I've spent over the
course of my life, that would for

362
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:40,800
sure be higher than anything
else. Yeah. For me. So. I love fast

363
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:41,880
food. I love it so much.

364
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:49,600
For me, it's so Farah. I love
my wife. But over, over the course

365
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,400
of us being married, the theme
for me has always been video games.

366
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,440
So, like, I always justify.
It's a hobby. I love it. I do it,

367
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:03,480
you know, but there's. I don't
need a Switch and an Xbox and a PlayStation

368
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,520
when I have limited time. And
then I buy the game because I'm like,

369
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,639
I'm going to play it
eventually. And then I play the one

370
00:21:10,639 --> 00:21:14,760
game that I play every single
night. And she's just like, you really

371
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,800
didn't need to spend the
money. Like, if you, If I look at

372
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,170
my bank account, there's
probably a lot of misjudgment in

373
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:21,730
what I purchased.

374
00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:27,410
Marty. Marty just asked if you
could stop attacking him. Just kidding.

375
00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:28,930
What about you?

376
00:21:30,770 --> 00:21:35,050
A couple years ago. You know,
we've been in this, like, get out

377
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:38,250
of debt, like, grind for a
while now, and we're like, there's

378
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:41,850
no possible way that we could
enter into debts. But I'm pretty

379
00:21:41,850 --> 00:21:45,090
impulsive, you know what I
mean? And so, like, there would just

380
00:21:45,090 --> 00:21:47,300
be a date where it's just
like, what if we move? You know,

381
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,540
what if we buy a new house,
you know, or there will be a day

382
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,220
where it's like, oh, my gosh,
there's this. There's this, like,

383
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:55,300
truck that, like, is this
much. And he's like, james, your

384
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,980
car is fine. You know what I
mean? But there was.

385
00:21:58,060 --> 00:21:59,180
Drive that thing to the ground.

386
00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:04,180
Yeah, right. But there was
one. There's one, like, summer, a

387
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:08,140
couple of summers back where
I'm a big sports fan, and there was,

388
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:12,300
like, a big soccer tournament
that was happening, and it was El

389
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,860
Clasico in Dallas. Like,
Barcelona versus Real Madrid. You

390
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:20,530
know what I mean? Yeah, I did.
Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah. We've got

391
00:22:20,530 --> 00:22:23,170
great pictures from it. It was
a lot of fun. But it was one of those

392
00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:25,330
where it's like, we just had
these conversations about getting

393
00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:28,170
out of debt. And we looked at
her bank account and we looked at

394
00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:31,330
the ticket prices, and we're
like, we can do that little button

395
00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:33,930
that says affirm next to the
purchase that says, do you want to

396
00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:37,970
pay it off in four months?
We're like, yes, I do. I'm so sorry.

397
00:22:37,970 --> 00:22:40,650
You know, and so that was one
of the moments where we did that

398
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:43,250
and we were like, yeah. We
looked at each other and we were

399
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:46,450
like, that game was so much
fun. Never again. Like, we are never

400
00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:49,810
doing that again, you know?
Yeah, it was one of those. Yeah,

401
00:22:49,810 --> 00:22:50,610
it was one of those things.

402
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:52,690
And then we know that the FIFA
World cup is coming.

403
00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:56,450
Yeah, that's one of those
where we were like, yeah, right,

404
00:22:56,450 --> 00:23:00,769
right, right. Yeah, we. We
doordash for that. We Uber for that.

405
00:23:00,930 --> 00:23:04,130
That's what we do. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So that was mine. I don't know

406
00:23:04,130 --> 00:23:05,330
if one comes to mind for you.

407
00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:07,530
I think for me, it's the
princess budget line.

408
00:23:07,530 --> 00:23:08,130
Oh, yeah.

409
00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:13,700
I. And we've pulled back
again. We're doing, like, Dave Ramsey

410
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:17,820
style craziness to pay off my
student loans in this season. But

411
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:21,900
before, I was like, I had
nails, I had lashes, I would have

412
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:26,580
my hair done. And it's not.
They're all wants none of them are

413
00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:30,260
needs. But now I switch to the
smaller purchases of like, press

414
00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:35,100
on nails, lash strips. And so
I'm sure all of that coming together

415
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,340
adds up as well.

416
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:40,280
Yeah, yeah, I have, I also
have that in my budget. And I'm like.

417
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,680
And I think there are some
months where I'm like, I would love

418
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,960
to get a new set, but I just
can't, you know, like.

419
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,680
Yeah, it's one of the things I
want to like. One of the first things,

420
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,920
obviously, besides upping our
giving, is to re. Reinstate the princess

421
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:55,520
budget line.

422
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,200
So let, let's talk about that,
because you were asking about budget,

423
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,530
how to practically do that,
you know, you, you said like, you

424
00:24:02,530 --> 00:24:05,410
know, after generosity, of
course, that's, that's a principle

425
00:24:05,410 --> 00:24:08,450
that we have. So we, we build
out our budget. That's honestly,

426
00:24:08,450 --> 00:24:11,490
number one thing is make a
budget. You know, if you don't have

427
00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:15,250
a budget, if you don't know
where your money is going, then it's

428
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:19,690
so easy to get behind and to
fall. You know, you get towards the

429
00:24:19,690 --> 00:24:22,490
end of the month or you get
towards your paycheck and you're

430
00:24:22,490 --> 00:24:24,930
like, wait, where did all my
money go? You know, because you're

431
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:28,410
not keeping track of it. You
run out of money and then you need

432
00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:31,410
to buy groceries or this bill
comes out and you're like, I guess

433
00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:34,130
I got to put it on the credit
card, you know, so when you know

434
00:24:34,370 --> 00:24:36,930
what is happening with your
money, when you can track all those

435
00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:39,770
expenses, like whether you're
single, whether you're married, whether

436
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:43,290
you're dating, like, it
doesn't matter. Like, make a budget

437
00:24:43,290 --> 00:24:46,130
wherever you're at, whether
you, like, are a college student

438
00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:48,570
and you don't have any income,
but you just have money for things

439
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:53,090
like, or you like, you know,
are millionaire. You know what I

440
00:24:53,090 --> 00:24:56,970
mean? Like, having a budget is
so extremely helpful for that. With

441
00:24:56,970 --> 00:25:02,190
our budget, a principle that
we have, whenever we, we look at

442
00:25:02,190 --> 00:25:05,590
our budget, you know, when we
first created our budget, whenever

443
00:25:05,590 --> 00:25:09,430
we reassess our budget and we
reassess it often, you know, we,

444
00:25:09,430 --> 00:25:13,430
we look at it and we, we set
it and we look at it afterwards to

445
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:15,750
decide, like, is this still
working for us? Is this, is there

446
00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,950
anything that we need to
change? We don't just set it and

447
00:25:17,950 --> 00:25:22,190
forget it. We set it and we
monitor it often. So when we set

448
00:25:22,190 --> 00:25:25,990
it, whenever we reassess it,
whenever we get raises or we get

449
00:25:25,990 --> 00:25:31,130
promotions or new things
happen that are taking, like, bills,

450
00:25:31,290 --> 00:25:34,970
like, go higher and so we need
to reassess our budget, the number

451
00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:40,330
one Thing that we always look
to increase first is our generosity

452
00:25:40,410 --> 00:25:44,650
budgets. And the last thing
that we touch when we need to, like,

453
00:25:44,650 --> 00:25:48,690
reevaluate, like, what do we
need to cut back on is our generosity.

454
00:25:48,690 --> 00:25:51,090
Like, it's the first thing we
add to and it's the last thing we

455
00:25:51,090 --> 00:25:54,490
cut. So it's always the first
thing. And it feels a little bit

456
00:25:54,490 --> 00:25:57,130
untouchable because of that.
In that generosity budget, we have

457
00:25:57,130 --> 00:26:01,310
like our tithes. You know, we
have our tithing that we do. We have

458
00:26:02,110 --> 00:26:04,910
the budget line that we have
to, like, support missionaries or

459
00:26:04,910 --> 00:26:08,790
support people doing ministry
in different contexts. And then we

460
00:26:08,790 --> 00:26:12,870
just have a budget line that's
called Other Joy. So those are for

461
00:26:12,870 --> 00:26:15,590
instances where, like, we hear
that a kid, you know, we get a letter

462
00:26:15,590 --> 00:26:17,830
that says a kid needs to go to
camp, you know, and is looking to

463
00:26:17,830 --> 00:26:21,150
fundraise, or it's a sweet
friend's birthday that's coming up

464
00:26:21,150 --> 00:26:23,630
and we want to buy them a gift
or something along those lines. Like,

465
00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:26,540
we can pull from that other
Joy budget to be able to give to

466
00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:27,180
things like that.

467
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:32,020
Why is it important that it be
like, first and last? Like, like,

468
00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:35,220
why is that to safeguard it?
Like, why is that important to you

469
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:35,540
guys?

470
00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:36,060
Yeah.

471
00:26:36,460 --> 00:26:41,579
I think kind of what I was
saying earlier with how we view as

472
00:26:41,579 --> 00:26:44,460
believers, we view like, we
know and understand that it's not

473
00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:48,180
ours in the first place, it's
the Lord's. And truly going through

474
00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:50,940
those experiences of saying,
this is a gift.

475
00:26:51,020 --> 00:26:51,970
Yeah. Right.

476
00:26:52,530 --> 00:26:56,530
And when we had moved down
here and we're no longer support

477
00:26:56,610 --> 00:27:02,610
raising, a lot of our prayer
time was, lord, do not let us get

478
00:27:02,610 --> 00:27:03,330
stagnant.

479
00:27:03,410 --> 00:27:03,970
Yeah.

480
00:27:04,130 --> 00:27:07,730
Help us feel the weight of the
fact that we'll be making more money,

481
00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:11,850
which means that we can give
more money and let that be the first

482
00:27:11,850 --> 00:27:16,930
thing. And so I think because
of how much grace and fruitfulness

483
00:27:16,930 --> 00:27:21,650
the Lord has and the mercy of
just the experiences that, that I

484
00:27:21,650 --> 00:27:25,450
had before we were married and
when we were support raising of how

485
00:27:25,450 --> 00:27:27,610
the Lord still made things
happen with money.

486
00:27:27,690 --> 00:27:28,010
Yeah.

487
00:27:28,010 --> 00:27:32,410
I'm like, I can't with a good
conscience just take all this money

488
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:37,090
and spend it how I want. And
the fight against materialism and

489
00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:40,370
consumerism is definitely
still a thing. I have a cap where

490
00:27:40,370 --> 00:27:42,810
in my brain, I'm like, oh,
that's really. I want to get that

491
00:27:42,810 --> 00:27:46,010
thing. Or like, they're asking
for that much or like, I don't know.

492
00:27:46,810 --> 00:27:50,200
So that's still like a
constant thing. But I would say the.

493
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,360
The biggest part is just
knowing and truly believing. Like,

494
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:56,440
it's not Ours. And if we
continue to be faithful.

495
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:57,160
Yeah.

496
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,800
It's not for the possible
reward we could get. It's just out

497
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,480
of our love and obedience for
the Lord.

498
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,440
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Support raising really teaches you

499
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,080
that, you know, it really,
it's. Your income is quite literally

500
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,840
not coming from, like an
organization, but it is coming from

501
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:17,020
individuals that you are
praying to the Lord, like, God, connect

502
00:28:17,020 --> 00:28:20,460
me to people who, like,
provide for me through people who

503
00:28:20,460 --> 00:28:25,220
believe in what you're doing
in me, you know, So I. It was just

504
00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:29,260
so obvious. It makes it so
apparent in that situation that this

505
00:28:29,260 --> 00:28:33,620
truly isn't mine. I didn't
earn this. This was given to me by

506
00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:36,580
the Lord. And so now just
carrying that over to my job now,

507
00:28:36,580 --> 00:28:40,060
where I do get a paycheck from
an organization, it's still the same,

508
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:43,660
like, whether it comes from an
organization or a collection of individuals

509
00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:47,900
or from a company or whatever.
I didn't earn this. God freely gave

510
00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:50,980
this to me, you know, and he
just did that because he loves me,

511
00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:54,820
you know, so because of that.
Yeah, the generosity is just a big.

512
00:28:55,140 --> 00:28:57,460
Is a big priority for us in
our budget line. Yeah.

513
00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:01,940
Other people's generosity is
how we were able to live for years.

514
00:29:02,260 --> 00:29:03,220
Yeah, right.

515
00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:03,820
Yeah.

516
00:29:03,820 --> 00:29:06,900
And even with that, that's not
to say that our other budget lines

517
00:29:06,900 --> 00:29:11,140
aren't used for generosity. I
mean, just thinking about, like,

518
00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:16,470
our. Our budget line that goes
over, like, our house bills, you

519
00:29:16,470 --> 00:29:18,870
know, like our mortgage and
our electricity and our water and

520
00:29:18,870 --> 00:29:24,950
all that stuff. Like, we also
use our home generously for. For

521
00:29:24,950 --> 00:29:27,110
the sake of our community and
for the sake of God getting glory,

522
00:29:27,110 --> 00:29:29,470
you know, inviting non
believers into our home, inviting

523
00:29:29,470 --> 00:29:32,950
community into our home,
having people stay with us when they

524
00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:35,670
need a place to stay. My
sister is staying with us right now.

525
00:29:35,670 --> 00:29:39,390
Just, just moments like that
where we can say, like, God, not

526
00:29:39,390 --> 00:29:42,390
just this generosity, budget
is stuff that we give to you, but

527
00:29:42,390 --> 00:29:46,270
this whole budget line, you
get to. You get to tell us whatever

528
00:29:46,270 --> 00:29:49,950
you want to do with this, you
know, like, all of these budget lines

529
00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:54,430
are from you and for you. So.
So, yeah, so. But there's that specific

530
00:29:54,430 --> 00:29:57,430
budget line that we always
start with when it comes to adding

531
00:29:57,510 --> 00:30:00,710
stuff into our budget, adding
money into our budget, and we never

532
00:30:00,710 --> 00:30:03,750
touch or it's the last thing
that we touch when it comes to, like,

533
00:30:04,550 --> 00:30:06,450
take away. Taking away from
our budget.

534
00:30:06,450 --> 00:30:11,050
So this is a little bit more
practical when you guys go and sit

535
00:30:11,050 --> 00:30:14,570
down and you do your budget.
Are you guys using an app? Are you

536
00:30:14,570 --> 00:30:16,890
doing pen and paper or Excel spreadsheet?

537
00:30:16,890 --> 00:30:20,490
Yeah, we started with an Excel
Spreadsheet. Yeah. And it was really

538
00:30:20,490 --> 00:30:25,130
helpful. A guy at a church, at
our old church developed a spreadsheet

539
00:30:25,130 --> 00:30:28,370
that helped you track stuff,
but you had to manually input stuff

540
00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:32,450
into it. We pay the premium
subscription for the EveryDollar

541
00:30:32,450 --> 00:30:36,120
app now. We love every dollar.
We love the every dollar. There's.

542
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,440
There's other apps that work
just as fine or just as well, but

543
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:44,880
I. It is worth the money for
us monthly to be able to pay for

544
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,840
the premium subscriptions. So
that I. Because if it's up to me

545
00:30:49,079 --> 00:30:53,000
to be able to input every
expense that I see on, like, I'm.

546
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,960
Yeah, I'm just. It's going to
fall through the cracks. But the

547
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,360
fact that it is connected to
the bank account and it drops into

548
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,600
the app itself is just so helpful.

549
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,040
We're paying for the
convenience, and we're okay with

550
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:03,280
that.

551
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,820
Yeah, you're. Because you're
setting money as side for the convenience.

552
00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:08,060
Like, it's not like you guys
are like, yeah, like, we can do it.

553
00:31:08,060 --> 00:31:09,020
We'll find the money somewhere.

554
00:31:09,020 --> 00:31:12,420
I was like, there is a budget
line for that. And that's in and

555
00:31:12,420 --> 00:31:15,980
of itself is saving us money
and is allowed by allowing us to

556
00:31:15,980 --> 00:31:17,540
budget in the way that we do. Yeah.

557
00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:21,019
Yeah. I. And I think too, we
were kind of talking a little bit

558
00:31:21,019 --> 00:31:24,460
about, like, credit. Credit
versus cash kind of mentality. I

559
00:31:24,460 --> 00:31:27,220
know that. Here's another
thing. I love Dave Ramsey. I think,

560
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,700
like, his curriculum is great.
His apps are great. I remember listening

561
00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:33,830
to one episode of his. One of
his podcasts about studio student

562
00:31:33,830 --> 00:31:39,790
loan debt. He's very, like,
aggressive. Like, like, just like

563
00:31:39,950 --> 00:31:44,710
attack. And I. I don't, like,
I'm not the audience for that. Like,

564
00:31:44,710 --> 00:31:47,270
I. I get turned off to buy
that. And then, so. And then also

565
00:31:47,270 --> 00:31:50,350
it, like, it's kind of, like,
scary. Like, I'm like, oh, my gosh,

566
00:31:50,350 --> 00:31:53,310
you're right. I'm like, I'm
the worst. Like, you know, so I.

567
00:31:54,110 --> 00:31:54,590
Yeah.

568
00:31:54,590 --> 00:31:54,870
Yeah.

569
00:31:54,870 --> 00:31:58,910
And so I don't. I don't think
that kind of communication is for

570
00:31:58,910 --> 00:32:03,160
everybody. Sometimes it is,
but, you know, you do you. But I

571
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:09,600
think he. He has, like, very
strict, like, no debt ever. Is that

572
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,840
feasible? Is that normal? Is
that like, something we should all

573
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,040
strive for or. I just want to
hear Yalls thoughts about it.

574
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:17,440
Yeah.

575
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:23,920
Yeah. For me. So we did Dave
Ramsey's. Well, actually. So funny

576
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,600
story. I think I should. Did I
share that with. Anyways, here's

577
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:33,280
what happened. Yeah. One of
the gifts that her dad gave me when

578
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:37,480
I don't know if he knew how
bad we were in consumer debt. But

579
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,040
he did give me the total money
makeover book.

580
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,000
That's like giving the gift of
like, a stick of deodorant to a middle

581
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,720
schooler. You know, it's like,
hey, you might. You might need this,

582
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:46,000
bro.

583
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:47,600
He's like, I know for a fact.

584
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,720
You'Re married to my daughter.
Here you go. You know, take care

585
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,370
of her. But it really was
like, I read that book. I just ate

586
00:32:55,370 --> 00:33:00,650
it up. Like, it was. I agree
with you. His tone is very, like,

587
00:33:00,650 --> 00:33:03,650
straightforward. You got to be
sick and tired of being sick and

588
00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:08,450
tired. Like, I hear his voice,
like. But I think his principles

589
00:33:08,450 --> 00:33:09,370
are solid.

590
00:33:09,370 --> 00:33:10,290
Yes. Yes.

591
00:33:10,450 --> 00:33:17,290
And so for me, we, we did the
baby steps. So we aim to save. Like,

592
00:33:17,290 --> 00:33:19,490
even just the first baby step
of saving a thousand.

593
00:33:19,650 --> 00:33:20,170
Yeah.

594
00:33:20,170 --> 00:33:24,430
Seemed hard at first, but it
was like, it was the intentionality

595
00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:27,350
of giving us a goal and then
working together. Yeah, absolutely.

596
00:33:27,350 --> 00:33:30,390
And then all the consumer
debt, like, over month after month.

597
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:35,910
So, yeah, for. For me, the way
we just live by it, it's worked for

598
00:33:35,910 --> 00:33:39,830
us. I understand. Not like
credit cards and all that stuff.

599
00:33:39,830 --> 00:33:43,830
Like, I literally don't have a
credit card anymore now. It's kind

600
00:33:43,830 --> 00:33:46,310
of weird, though. I ain't
gonna lie. Dave Ramsey, please forgive

601
00:33:46,310 --> 00:33:51,520
me. I still have access to my
credit card. I just don't have a

602
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:56,240
physical right card. I. I keep
it for safe of mine, but I also have

603
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:56,760
an emergency.

604
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,240
Fund, so it's like, yeah,
right. Yeah.

605
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:02,320
I don't know. But it did help
me for sure. It helped me and Farah

606
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:02,880
getting rid.

607
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,160
Of the access of it. Yes, I
agree. I think. And I think that's

608
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,800
where the self awareness piece
comes in. Like, it's like, if you

609
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,360
know you're going to be
tempted. I had one of my old roommates

610
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,720
in college, she had her credit
card number memorized. And I was

611
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:19,680
like, I. I was like, I'm so
glad I can't do that. Like, praise

612
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:23,480
God. Because if, you know,
like, who. Who knows what crazy decisions

613
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,720
I would have made now for her,
she had the discipline to like, not

614
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:29,280
use it every time. But like,
I, I think like removing the access,

615
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,280
like, remove it from your
Apple wallet, cut up the card. Like,

616
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,280
it sounds stupid, but, like,
if you're finding that you're like,

617
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,640
continuing to add more to
yourself, like, get rid of the easy

618
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:39,720
accessibility of it.

619
00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:40,000
Keep.

620
00:34:40,270 --> 00:34:41,950
You're obviously going to keep
the account because you're going

621
00:34:41,950 --> 00:34:45,750
to still pay on it if you
still have money there. But yeah,

622
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:48,630
I think for me, that was
really helpful, like, of just removing

623
00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:50,430
it from My immediate access.

624
00:34:50,990 --> 00:34:54,190
And that's not to say credit
cards are bad. Like Dave Ramsey.

625
00:34:54,270 --> 00:34:56,910
Dave Ramsey believes that. And
I, like you were saying with the

626
00:34:56,910 --> 00:35:01,510
self awareness piece, it's
really important. His tone actually

627
00:35:01,510 --> 00:35:04,870
really works for me. And I'm
like, you're so right. I'm second

628
00:35:04,870 --> 00:35:08,240
tired of being second tired.
Like, I'm ready to go. Like, it's

629
00:35:08,390 --> 00:35:11,310
been so intense because I'm
just like, I'm good. It's almost

630
00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:14,550
like a game now with my
student loans. I'm like, how much

631
00:35:14,550 --> 00:35:18,270
more crazy could I be with
just chicken and rice with salt and

632
00:35:18,270 --> 00:35:19,670
pepper for the rest of my life?

633
00:35:19,670 --> 00:35:20,070
Yeah.

634
00:35:20,070 --> 00:35:21,190
Hopefully not the rest of my life.

635
00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:21,750
Right, right.

636
00:35:21,750 --> 00:35:27,190
For this season. But for those
of you that are maybe like single

637
00:35:27,190 --> 00:35:32,870
or you have roommates and
building credit, you can get a car

638
00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:35,680
loan, you can get a mortgage,
you can get an apartment, you just

639
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,000
have to jump through more
hoops if they can't check your credit

640
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:42,760
score. And so if you are young
or if you're in a position where

641
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,320
you're trying to build up your
credit, if you can take this, I guess

642
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:50,400
just like a little pro tip, if
I can put that in there. If, let's

643
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,440
say you have a whole bunch of
roommates, see if you can take at

644
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,400
least one of the bills in your
name. So that they're either your

645
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,200
roommates are you're paying it
all or your roommates and splitting

646
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,560
it and they're sending the
money to you via cash app or whatever.

647
00:36:01,900 --> 00:36:05,660
But that will still help build
your credit if you are someone who

648
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:09,020
having the credit card
wouldn't be too much of a temptation

649
00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:13,460
to use it unwisely. Yeah. But
that way on the side, you can be

650
00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:15,820
building credit so that when
you move out or you're trying to

651
00:36:15,820 --> 00:36:18,300
get a car or whatever and they
want to check your credit score,

652
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:22,340
you've been making, you know,
consistent payments and you've got

653
00:36:22,340 --> 00:36:25,140
a good credit score to just
help you into the next season of

654
00:36:25,140 --> 00:36:27,580
whatever that looks like. So
there's pros and cons.

655
00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:28,060
Yeah.

656
00:36:28,060 --> 00:36:30,350
But the biggest thing, like
you're saying to be self aware.

657
00:36:30,430 --> 00:36:35,030
Yeah. I think just like, you
know, just like we talk about with

658
00:36:35,030 --> 00:36:39,470
money, you know, money is not
inherently evil. Right. I. I would

659
00:36:39,470 --> 00:36:42,790
loop around, like credit cards
and debts, like all of those things

660
00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:48,990
are not inherently evil, but
our evil hearts can use those things

661
00:36:49,070 --> 00:36:54,070
to build up our kingdom
instead of honoring God. Right. And

662
00:36:54,070 --> 00:37:00,320
so, um, that's where the,
that's where the wisdom has to come

663
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,520
in. When you approach money,
when you approach a credit card,

664
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,720
when you approach the
opportunity to get into debt, to

665
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:10,120
be able to, like. Like it says
in the Psalms, where. Where David

666
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,720
says, seek me, O Lord, see if
there be any grievous way inside

667
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:16,680
me, lead me onto the path to
the everlasting, you know, to be

668
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,360
able to say, like, is there.
Is there anything gross in my heart

669
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,400
that does not look like youe,
that's not honoring to youo, that's

670
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,910
not loving youg in the midst
of this, that if I step into this,

671
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:30,430
this will lead me to sin, you
know, or are there sinful motivations

672
00:37:30,830 --> 00:37:34,670
for me to do this? To be able,
you know, that's leading me towards

673
00:37:34,830 --> 00:37:37,830
spending this money the way
that I'm spending it, or using this

674
00:37:37,830 --> 00:37:39,950
credit card the way that I'm
about to use it, or getting into

675
00:37:39,950 --> 00:37:44,070
this debt the way that I'm
going to get into it. It's. It's

676
00:37:44,070 --> 00:37:46,670
important to be able to, one,
have. Have intentional time with

677
00:37:46,670 --> 00:37:50,030
the Lord, to be able to have
that time, to be able to, you know,

678
00:37:50,030 --> 00:37:52,320
seek your heart for him, to
search your heart. Right. But then

679
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,000
it's also good to be in
community, you know, to be around

680
00:37:55,160 --> 00:38:01,480
people who know you, who love
you, who want the best for you, and

681
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,200
give them permission to ask
you personal questions and to hold

682
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,040
you accountable. Right?

683
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:06,400
Yeah.

684
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:12,680
No, I agree. 100. I think I
viewed debt in such a, like, shameful

685
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,000
way that it was very
isolating. And so it's like. And

686
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:21,160
I remember I had asked, like,
my older sister. She. She's gonna.

687
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,080
I don't know if she watches
it, but she's gonna hate me for saying

688
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,560
this. But, like, I. In my
mind, like, she's like, the richest

689
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,320
woman on earth. Like, she. And
she probably isn't, but, like, I

690
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,960
don't even know what she does.
She. She has explained her job to

691
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,080
me a million times, and I can
never grasp my mind around what she

692
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,880
does. But anyways, and she's,
like, super smart with money. Like,

693
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:39,880
she probably still has her
lunch money from, like, when we were

694
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,280
kids, like, in a savings
account somewhere. Like, she, like,

695
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,960
is very, very frugal and very
wise with that. And I remember I

696
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,650
had asked her for her help,
for her help, but then, like, we

697
00:38:49,650 --> 00:38:52,370
could never find a time to,
like, get together. But there were

698
00:38:52,370 --> 00:38:56,050
other people in my closer
vicinity, in proximity, in my community

699
00:38:56,210 --> 00:38:59,610
that were, I know, would have
been willing to, like, help, but

700
00:38:59,610 --> 00:39:02,330
I just didn't. It was
embarrassing to talk about. Like,

701
00:39:02,330 --> 00:39:04,810
and it was like, it felt
isolating. And I didn't know. Like,

702
00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:08,610
I don't know. And so I think I
wouldn't recommend that at all. Like,

703
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:11,650
I think it's. It is isolating,
and I think it. Lifting the curtain

704
00:39:11,650 --> 00:39:14,810
of shame to allow people to
speak into you, to hold you accountable,

705
00:39:14,810 --> 00:39:17,790
and also to, like, give you
wisdom on things that they've learned.

706
00:39:17,790 --> 00:39:20,390
Like, these are things that
I've done and steps that I've taken.

707
00:39:20,470 --> 00:39:24,110
And I think I did end up, you
know, being able to do that and get.

708
00:39:24,110 --> 00:39:26,590
Stepping into that. And then
once me and Carlos got married, like,

709
00:39:26,590 --> 00:39:31,190
he's super disciplined and
wise with his money, but so I think

710
00:39:31,270 --> 00:39:34,390
just. Yeah, I think lifting
the curtain and letting people in

711
00:39:34,630 --> 00:39:37,990
is super important because you
can't do it on your own.

712
00:39:38,230 --> 00:39:38,630
Yeah.

713
00:39:38,630 --> 00:39:43,620
And I think one example of
this is, like, whenever me and Carlos,

714
00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:49,060
we're talking about getting
married, I. My vision, not my whole

715
00:39:49,060 --> 00:39:52,060
life, but, like, probably I
developed it in college, was to elope.

716
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:55,260
And it wasn't for any, like,
personal reason. It was just because

717
00:39:55,260 --> 00:39:57,500
I didn't want to spend the
money on a wedding. Like, it was

718
00:39:57,500 --> 00:40:00,900
very selfish. And whenever me
and Carlos were talking about it,

719
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:03,380
like, he just was not open to
it. He was like, this is something

720
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:06,020
I want to celebrate with our
families and with our friends. Like,

721
00:40:06,020 --> 00:40:11,130
it isn't something that I want
to have, like, small. And so he.

722
00:40:11,210 --> 00:40:15,250
Like, it was a conversation
for us. But then I remember praying

723
00:40:15,250 --> 00:40:17,530
to the Lord about it, because
I don't think if you. A little bit's,

724
00:40:17,530 --> 00:40:19,330
like, sinful. I don't think
that's, you know, like, if you guys

725
00:40:19,330 --> 00:40:21,970
decide that. But for me, it
did feel like it. And so then I was

726
00:40:21,970 --> 00:40:24,090
praying to the Lord, asking
him from guidance, and I felt like

727
00:40:24,090 --> 00:40:28,210
he was saying, like, you're
preventing me from providing for

728
00:40:28,210 --> 00:40:30,050
you guys. And I didn't know
what it meant, but I was like, okay,

729
00:40:30,050 --> 00:40:33,330
fine, so we'll do it. And so
we had a really great wedding. It

730
00:40:33,330 --> 00:40:38,550
was still smaller, but it was
bigger. And the amount of money that

731
00:40:38,550 --> 00:40:42,270
we paid for our wedding was
nothing compared to, like, what it

732
00:40:42,270 --> 00:40:44,910
would have been because the
Lord provided through his people.

733
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:48,510
Like, we had people coming in
left and right, paying for a lot

734
00:40:48,510 --> 00:40:51,710
of things. And, like. And it
would. And it. What's crazy is, like,

735
00:40:51,710 --> 00:40:55,270
we could have paid for that,
but we didn't have to. And so, like,

736
00:40:55,270 --> 00:40:57,590
the Lord was using his people.
And I remember afterwards, like,

737
00:40:57,590 --> 00:41:00,430
me and him were talking about
it, and. And he was like, had we

738
00:41:00,430 --> 00:41:02,790
not been obedient, we wouldn't
have seen the provision of the Lord

739
00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:05,630
through his people. And so,
like, even just stories like that

740
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:10,830
of, like, how the Lord meets
you and provides and, you know, just.

741
00:41:10,830 --> 00:41:13,710
I don't know, it just gives
you, like, that extra encouragement

742
00:41:13,710 --> 00:41:18,590
through community. Yeah. And
so I think money needs to be in that.

743
00:41:18,590 --> 00:41:22,190
Like, money. I don't know. It
just. It. It doesn't need to be something

744
00:41:22,190 --> 00:41:22,990
you carry alone.

745
00:41:22,990 --> 00:41:23,230
Right.

746
00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:23,630
Yeah.

747
00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:27,150
Yeah, Obviously the Lord and
reading Scripture, that's our lifeline.

748
00:41:27,150 --> 00:41:29,760
You know, I mean, that's the
thing that. That in. And spending

749
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,480
time in prayer, like, that's
the thing that connects us with the

750
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,240
Lord and allows us to
experience his. His presence and

751
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,320
his blessings and all of these
things, but primarily. Right, but

752
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,560
you sharing that story just
reminds me of Acts, chapter two,

753
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,880
you know, where. Where it
talks about the believers coming

754
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,440
together and having all things
in common, sharing things, and. And

755
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,720
because of that, nobody was in
need. You know, man, that. That is

756
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:54,800
just powerful. And that's what
happens when you're in community.

757
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,640
Like, Tessia was able to couch
surf in college because we were in

758
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,560
a community of people who had
apartments and who loved Tessia and

759
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,000
were like, hey, you can sleep
on our couch, or you can sleep on

760
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,400
the bed and I'll sleep on the
couch. Or, you know, just. There

761
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,520
was like, for. You can share
this story as well. But there was,

762
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,600
like. She talks about couch
serving, but, like, literally, Monday

763
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,960
night she would always be
with. With some girls. Tuesday night,

764
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:18,960
she would be with some
different girls. Like, Thursday night

765
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,680
she would be with a family.
You know what I mean? Like, she had

766
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,260
a rotation of people who
wanted her in their home because

767
00:42:25,260 --> 00:42:27,940
she. They loved her and they
wanted to be able to provide for

768
00:42:27,940 --> 00:42:30,300
her. And that's what happens
when you're in community like that,

769
00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:32,300
you know, when you're in the
community that you're a part of,

770
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:34,460
you have people who want to
come around you and say, like, hey,

771
00:42:34,460 --> 00:42:37,220
what need do you have? We love
you and Carlos so much that we want

772
00:42:37,220 --> 00:42:39,300
to be able to help out with
the food, help out with the venue,

773
00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:43,100
help out with these different
things. We. You don't need to hire

774
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:45,860
this service because I want to
give you this service because we

775
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,260
love you. You know, that's
just. That's the beauty of being

776
00:42:48,260 --> 00:42:52,320
in Christlike community is
that, man, in the midst of needs,

777
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,560
like, we are here to be able
to, like, either prayer for. Pray

778
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,000
for these needs to be met or
to be able to provide these needs.

779
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:04,320
And God provides for us
through community, but not only after

780
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,120
the decisions happen, you
know, like, hey, I'm in. You know,

781
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:11,040
revealing the shame I'm in.
I'm in this much debt. Can you Guys,

782
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,960
hold me accountable. Can you
help me? But even before that stuff

783
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,280
happens in the first place,
you know, to be able to go to your

784
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,110
community and say, like, hey,
I'm thinking about going to school,

785
00:43:19,350 --> 00:43:21,630
you know, going back to
school, and I'm thinking about getting

786
00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:24,910
this kind of degree at this
school. What do you guys think? And

787
00:43:24,910 --> 00:43:26,870
they could be honest with you
and say, like, hey, I think that's

788
00:43:26,870 --> 00:43:29,550
a great idea. You should go
for it. And. Or they could say, hey,

789
00:43:29,550 --> 00:43:32,110
it sounds like you. The school
that you want to do is a private

790
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:36,030
university that's out of state
and you're getting this degree that

791
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:39,670
will never pay for that, those
student loans. Right. So maybe let's

792
00:43:39,670 --> 00:43:42,190
step into wisdom and you do a
local place or you do start with

793
00:43:42,190 --> 00:43:44,710
community college first, or do
you need to go to that school in

794
00:43:44,710 --> 00:43:47,550
order to get this degree? Or
is this degree really what you want

795
00:43:47,550 --> 00:43:49,950
to do? Maybe you could do
something else that, that could provide

796
00:43:49,950 --> 00:43:54,230
for. For what you are hoping
to get out of your career. You know,

797
00:43:55,270 --> 00:43:58,710
so before and after community
together, to be able to speak wisdom

798
00:43:58,710 --> 00:44:01,190
and grace is so vital, so important.

799
00:44:01,270 --> 00:44:04,670
I love that you're mentioning
community because, like, to even

800
00:44:04,670 --> 00:44:08,670
get to that place requires
someone to be able to be vulnerable

801
00:44:08,670 --> 00:44:13,030
enough and humble enough to
then receive wisdom. Wisdom or receive

802
00:44:13,030 --> 00:44:16,430
the help. But like, that's
like. I just love what you're saying

803
00:44:16,430 --> 00:44:19,430
because it's like, you don't
get that. You don't get to a place

804
00:44:19,430 --> 00:44:22,750
of vulnerability and receiving
help if you don't have the community.

805
00:44:22,830 --> 00:44:26,830
Like, it is. It's hand in hand
because it's like, I know these people.

806
00:44:26,910 --> 00:44:30,470
I know they're for me. I'm
willing to then open up my life to

807
00:44:30,470 --> 00:44:34,550
them and be vulnerable and
then even be willing to humble myself

808
00:44:34,550 --> 00:44:36,420
enough to receive. Yeah. They help.

809
00:44:36,420 --> 00:44:40,100
Which is. Yeah. Crazy. No, I
think that's great. Yeah.

810
00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:44,300
Because you mentioned the, the
shame and vulnerability, but then

811
00:44:44,300 --> 00:44:45,820
the humble with the pride.

812
00:44:45,980 --> 00:44:46,420
Yeah.

813
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:52,180
And I think we've seen that.
We've seen both sides. I think I'm

814
00:44:52,180 --> 00:44:55,180
on the side of. I didn't
necessarily experience shame, but

815
00:44:55,180 --> 00:45:00,380
I did experience some pride.
And with my situation, I had it all

816
00:45:00,380 --> 00:45:04,310
planned. Sleep in my car, you
guys. Like, I. And it was my community

817
00:45:04,390 --> 00:45:08,510
that stepped in. And the, the
gal who was discipling me who was

818
00:45:08,510 --> 00:45:12,310
like, do not be stupid. And I
was like, you're only offering me

819
00:45:12,310 --> 00:45:15,390
your spot because you're
leading me. And now you feel like

820
00:45:15,390 --> 00:45:19,750
you have to. And she was like,
that's not it at all. And so working

821
00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:22,910
through that with me of like,
why do you want to do this alone?

822
00:45:22,910 --> 00:45:25,110
Like, why do you want to make
your life harder? And I was like,

823
00:45:25,830 --> 00:45:29,830
okay. And so. And then. Yeah.
Just seeing the Lord provide.

824
00:45:30,230 --> 00:45:30,790
Yeah.

825
00:45:31,030 --> 00:45:35,070
In that season was so cool.
And I didn't. It wasn't necessarily

826
00:45:35,070 --> 00:45:39,550
a lack of unwise decisions. It
was my ambition that kind of got

827
00:45:39,550 --> 00:45:43,790
me into that situation. So
it's. That's a longer story. But

828
00:45:43,790 --> 00:45:47,350
it wasn't that I was, like, in
a lot of debt. I just had ambitions

829
00:45:47,350 --> 00:45:51,310
that I was going for, and I
put myself in a position where I

830
00:45:51,310 --> 00:45:57,050
was in that position. So. But.
And then just working through that,

831
00:45:57,050 --> 00:45:59,850
too, of people saying, like,
oh, I want to share this with you.

832
00:45:59,850 --> 00:46:02,610
And I'm like, no, it's okay.
Like, I. I really struggled on the

833
00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:06,250
pride side because I didn't
want to take advantage of the generosity.

834
00:46:06,570 --> 00:46:11,170
I didn't so any. During that
time, I was also battling through

835
00:46:11,170 --> 00:46:14,370
wanting to be very conscious
of what I was given and what they

836
00:46:14,370 --> 00:46:16,930
were being generous with so
that I wasn't taking advantage of

837
00:46:16,930 --> 00:46:21,770
it. And so I think if for
anyone who's ever receiving those

838
00:46:21,770 --> 00:46:25,010
sorts of blessings, to just be
really cautious, if. Whether it's

839
00:46:25,010 --> 00:46:28,510
shame or pride that you're
working through, to either way not

840
00:46:28,510 --> 00:46:29,670
take advantage of that.

841
00:46:29,670 --> 00:46:30,070
Yeah.

842
00:46:30,070 --> 00:46:33,230
And to be able to turn it,
then to have that motivation of,

843
00:46:33,230 --> 00:46:36,470
like, I want to be so generous
in the future with what I have.

844
00:46:36,550 --> 00:46:37,110
Yeah.

845
00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:40,750
And not to hold anything too
close. And something we've talked

846
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:44,230
about is, like, if I can't
share it, then it's an idol.

847
00:46:44,230 --> 00:46:45,270
It has too much power over.

848
00:46:45,270 --> 00:46:47,710
Yeah. It has too much power
over me. If we can't share our car,

849
00:46:47,710 --> 00:46:50,310
if we can't share our house,
if we can't share our technology,

850
00:46:50,470 --> 00:46:55,440
our electronics, whatever that
looks like. Um, and so I really like

851
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,440
that you said that with the
vulnerability and the humbleness,

852
00:46:58,440 --> 00:46:59,680
because I think they go together.

853
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:00,360
Yeah.

854
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,000
I had a question. I don't know
if we have time, but I just have

855
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,680
a question, really. About frugality.

856
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:07,280
Yeah.

857
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:13,560
Because in terms of, like.
Like, money is not ours. Our money's

858
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:18,400
not ours. Like, we're called
to steward. And so we're trying to

859
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,880
battle a culture that's all
about consumerism and keeping up

860
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,330
with the Joneses. But I love
the example you gave earlier, Tessia,

861
00:47:24,330 --> 00:47:27,930
of like, hey, I have my
princess budget, but I just scale

862
00:47:27,930 --> 00:47:31,810
it down, you know? But, like,
what does that look like in other

863
00:47:32,290 --> 00:47:36,930
areas, like clothes and food
you eat or what? You know, being

864
00:47:36,930 --> 00:47:38,650
frugal. Yeah.

865
00:47:38,650 --> 00:47:41,290
Travel is tough for us. We
want to. We Want to go so many places,

866
00:47:41,290 --> 00:47:45,210
and it's hard to not, so
let's. Yeah, I'd love to dive into

867
00:47:45,210 --> 00:47:50,090
just, like, how. How we do.
It'll be quick, but, like the whole

868
00:47:50,090 --> 00:47:53,250
budget, you know? You know, we
already talked about how we're starting

869
00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:56,410
with generosity. Right? We
start with that, but then everything

870
00:47:56,570 --> 00:48:02,090
else that we do, we. We figure
out, like, what our generosity is

871
00:48:02,170 --> 00:48:05,490
and then what our needs are,
like, what our bills are. Like with

872
00:48:05,490 --> 00:48:09,570
our housing, we. We talk
about, like, our payments that we

873
00:48:09,570 --> 00:48:12,010
need to pay, you know, all of
those things. What's the minimum

874
00:48:12,010 --> 00:48:14,280
that we need to pay on
everything to make sure that we're

875
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,840
not, like, evicted, you know,
to make sure that our water and electricity

876
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,480
isn't cut off, you know, I
mean, like, what's. What's the minimum

877
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,040
that we have to pay for
everything for us to live our life

878
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:27,000
right now? And then it dives
into, like, once. You know what I

879
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,960
mean? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So. No, Well, I kind of list that

880
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,680
as the needs, you know, like,
we need to pay the minimum for those

881
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:33,920
things.

882
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:34,360
Yes.

883
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:38,440
So after. After deciding all
of those things, like, what are.

884
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,250
What's our generosity and then
what are. What are our needs? Then

885
00:48:41,250 --> 00:48:45,570
we can look at, like, our. Our
wants, like, what are some preferences?

886
00:48:45,570 --> 00:48:50,650
What do we want? But before
that even, we would say, like, how

887
00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:53,690
do you get out of debt as
quickly as possible? You know, it's

888
00:48:53,690 --> 00:48:59,450
not sinful to have debts, you
know, but it is wise to be able to

889
00:48:59,450 --> 00:49:02,490
try to get out of debt as
quickly as possible. So you can use

890
00:49:02,490 --> 00:49:05,490
that money to increase in
generosity in the future. Right?

891
00:49:05,730 --> 00:49:08,690
And so to be able to decide,
like, how much more can we pay off

892
00:49:08,690 --> 00:49:11,930
in debt? And then you can
decide, like, okay, we feel comfortable

893
00:49:11,930 --> 00:49:14,250
with this number. We pray to
the Lord, we feel good about this.

894
00:49:14,490 --> 00:49:17,970
Now let's talk about how much
more we can spend on, like, groceries

895
00:49:17,970 --> 00:49:21,930
or something that Tessie and I
have. We have, like, fun Money budgets.

896
00:49:21,930 --> 00:49:24,610
We have two budget lines in
there. It's Tessie is Fun Money Budget

897
00:49:24,610 --> 00:49:27,810
and Chance's Fun Money Budget.
So then I can spend money on video

898
00:49:27,810 --> 00:49:30,530
games and Tessie isn't there.
Like, you're wasting our money, you

899
00:49:30,530 --> 00:49:34,050
know, because, like, no,
that's. Yeah, that's my. That's my

900
00:49:34,050 --> 00:49:36,690
money in the first place. And
she can go buy, you know, her princess

901
00:49:36,690 --> 00:49:39,410
budget length things, you
know, she can. And I'm not. I'm not

902
00:49:39,410 --> 00:49:41,490
sitting there like, no, we
can't have groceries now because

903
00:49:41,490 --> 00:49:43,590
you bottled these things. You
know, it's like, we have a grocery

904
00:49:43,590 --> 00:49:47,030
budget line and we have these
princess budget lines, this fun money

905
00:49:47,030 --> 00:49:50,910
budget line. You know, we have
those things and we, we keep track

906
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:54,550
of those expenses so that we
don't spend more than what we, than

907
00:49:54,550 --> 00:49:58,350
what we have allotted in
there. Yeah. So that allows us to

908
00:49:58,350 --> 00:50:02,630
be able to pay for what we
need to pay off our debt quicker.

909
00:50:02,630 --> 00:50:07,750
And it still gives us a life
that is full of fun things, you know,

910
00:50:08,390 --> 00:50:11,270
that we can go out and do with
friends or experience with each other.

911
00:50:11,270 --> 00:50:15,020
You know, it's, it's, it's
provided a lot of fun stuff. So I,

912
00:50:16,060 --> 00:50:19,100
I would highly recommend
people, you know, to try that out,

913
00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:23,820
see if that works for them.
And if you're doing that and you

914
00:50:23,820 --> 00:50:26,540
find that you can't get
through all the needs before you

915
00:50:26,540 --> 00:50:29,260
run out of income, you know,
you're like, man, I'm in a position

916
00:50:29,260 --> 00:50:33,380
where I can't do this, then
maybe there's some harder conversations

917
00:50:33,380 --> 00:50:35,340
to have, you know, to talk
about. What does it look like to

918
00:50:35,340 --> 00:50:38,660
get some help? What does it
look like to, to get a new job? What

919
00:50:38,660 --> 00:50:41,060
does it look like to work two
jobs? What does it look like to do

920
00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:44,270
some things on the side to be
able to make money that's honoring

921
00:50:44,270 --> 00:50:46,990
to the Lord that you can use,
to be able to provide for your needs

922
00:50:46,990 --> 00:50:49,710
while also paying the minimum
on these debts to get out of, you

923
00:50:49,710 --> 00:50:53,470
know, so we had moments like
that where we looked at our budget

924
00:50:53,470 --> 00:50:57,110
and we realized, oh man, we
are, we need to, we need to change

925
00:50:57,110 --> 00:50:59,590
some things around. We need to
spend less on groceries, you know,

926
00:50:59,590 --> 00:51:03,070
because we are spending way
too much on that. We need to like,

927
00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:05,750
we don't need bougie dinners.
Yeah, yeah. We don't need to stop

928
00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:09,920
shop at Trader Joe's. We can
shop at Aldi, you know. Yeah, yeah,

929
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,000
man. All these are saving grace.

930
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:16,400
Yeah. But what you were saying
with the frugal mindset, we had talked

931
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,680
about it, kind of just
preparing for this. But I think,

932
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,680
I mean, social media is the
biggest thing when it comes to comparison.

933
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:24,240
Right.

934
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:28,360
And like how easy it is to
just wake up and you're looking at

935
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,880
someone else's life already.
You go on social media, why is the

936
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,000
first thing I'm looking at is
someone else's life.

937
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:34,540
Yeah.

938
00:51:34,770 --> 00:51:38,450
That's not preparing me well
for my life that day. And so I think

939
00:51:38,450 --> 00:51:43,930
social media, we had talked
about function over the features

940
00:51:43,930 --> 00:51:45,210
or function over the looks.

941
00:51:45,210 --> 00:51:45,690
Yeah.

942
00:51:45,690 --> 00:51:48,050
Of like, you don't need that car.

943
00:51:48,210 --> 00:51:48,690
Yeah.

944
00:51:49,010 --> 00:51:52,050
Especially if you're in debt.
Get the two door beater that you

945
00:51:52,050 --> 00:51:55,290
bought for cash for like a
Thousand bucks, drive that thing

946
00:51:55,290 --> 00:51:58,690
to the ground. And then
someday, maybe. Maybe it's not promised

947
00:51:58,690 --> 00:52:00,910
to you. None of this is
promised to us.

948
00:52:00,910 --> 00:52:01,270
Right.

949
00:52:01,350 --> 00:52:05,270
So I think if you can focus
more on the function of the thing

950
00:52:05,270 --> 00:52:06,310
that you're wanting.

951
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:06,870
Yeah.

952
00:52:07,190 --> 00:52:11,790
Over what it looks like or how
fancy it is, I think that will really

953
00:52:11,790 --> 00:52:12,150
help.

954
00:52:12,230 --> 00:52:15,150
Yeah. A Camry will get you to
A to B. Just like a Porsche canvas.

955
00:52:15,150 --> 00:52:15,430
Like.

956
00:52:15,430 --> 00:52:19,350
Yeah, absolutely. And so. And
I think it's then also working through

957
00:52:19,350 --> 00:52:23,110
gratefulness. I had a huge
season. Like, not only social media

958
00:52:23,110 --> 00:52:25,710
at the time. I still kept
social media, but there was just

959
00:52:25,710 --> 00:52:30,000
certain accounts. I was muting
for a while because I found out that

960
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,840
I was really struggling with
contentment and I couldn't celebrate

961
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:39,440
people. And so I was like,
this is a problem. And so I just

962
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,400
started muting accounts
because I was like, they're a friend.

963
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:45,240
I want to see them. I just
hate seeing their stuff right now.

964
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,720
And I'm starting to realize
the bitterness in my heart of just,

965
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:49,840
like, I don't have what they have.

966
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:50,160
Yeah.

967
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,680
And that's upsetting me, and
that's not their problem.

968
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:53,260
Yeah.

969
00:52:53,490 --> 00:52:59,570
And so I think, yeah. Social
media was huge. Focusing on the function

970
00:52:59,570 --> 00:53:03,450
over anything else, practicing
gratefulness. And that could even

971
00:53:03,450 --> 00:53:06,290
be like, thank you, Lord, that
we were able to eat today.

972
00:53:06,290 --> 00:53:06,690
Yeah.

973
00:53:06,690 --> 00:53:07,330
Like, in the.

974
00:53:07,490 --> 00:53:07,890
Right.

975
00:53:07,970 --> 00:53:10,770
In the pit of our financial
stuff. Like, thank you. And if that's

976
00:53:10,770 --> 00:53:13,490
it on my list, that is good
enough, because I was able to live

977
00:53:13,490 --> 00:53:13,810
today.

978
00:53:13,810 --> 00:53:14,370
Yeah.

979
00:53:14,610 --> 00:53:18,730
And then moving on to, like,
once I could work through that. Okay.

980
00:53:18,730 --> 00:53:21,930
Let me work on celebrating
people. Like, I want to do that well.

981
00:53:21,930 --> 00:53:25,610
I want to celebrate people's
wins, whether it's financially, whether

982
00:53:25,610 --> 00:53:27,890
they're getting married and
I'm not, or they're getting a house

983
00:53:27,890 --> 00:53:30,730
and I'm not. They're investing
in a second property, and I'm not.

984
00:53:30,890 --> 00:53:34,410
Whatever that looks like. To
truly be able to realize I can celebrate

985
00:53:34,410 --> 00:53:38,890
them. I think that really
showed me that I'm, like, I'm good.

986
00:53:38,970 --> 00:53:41,210
And thank you, Lord, for all
of this stuff.

987
00:53:41,290 --> 00:53:41,770
Yeah.

988
00:53:42,090 --> 00:53:45,850
And I. I think that that's,
like, ultimately kind of what we're

989
00:53:45,850 --> 00:53:48,490
trying to talk about again.
Like, we talked. We talked about,

990
00:53:48,490 --> 00:53:51,010
like, recommendations, going
through personal experiences, but

991
00:53:51,010 --> 00:53:53,890
ultimately, like, if. If you
guys have fallen into the same things

992
00:53:53,890 --> 00:53:57,170
that we have, like, that
there's. There's growth from that.

993
00:53:57,170 --> 00:53:59,610
Like, that doesn't define who
you are. It doesn't define who you

994
00:53:59,610 --> 00:54:03,690
are in Christ. So just, like,
real quick to close out, like, any

995
00:54:03,690 --> 00:54:07,210
final. Like, I have to say
this, like, for the sake of the listener.

996
00:54:07,210 --> 00:54:08,370
Any final thoughts?

997
00:54:08,450 --> 00:54:14,410
Yeah, I just want to reiterate
what you said. Your value is not

998
00:54:14,410 --> 00:54:18,650
in your bank statement. Your
value is in. In the finished work

999
00:54:18,650 --> 00:54:22,530
of Christ, you know, and so
because of that, you. There's nothing

1000
00:54:23,090 --> 00:54:26,890
that can be used here that
defines who you are. It's only what

1001
00:54:26,890 --> 00:54:33,449
God says you are, you know,
but moving forward from that, we

1002
00:54:33,449 --> 00:54:37,930
now get to live into that
identity and live into that value.

1003
00:54:37,930 --> 00:54:40,690
And so if you're a person
that, like, struggles either with

1004
00:54:41,490 --> 00:54:43,890
paying off this debt or
struggles with constantly getting

1005
00:54:43,890 --> 00:54:47,650
into debt or struggling with,
like, impulsive, like, whatever financial

1006
00:54:47,650 --> 00:54:51,090
thing you're struggling with,
one of the fruits of the Spirit is

1007
00:54:51,090 --> 00:54:53,730
self control, you know, and
that's something that I had to learn,

1008
00:54:53,730 --> 00:54:58,130
that as I sought after Jesus,
like, I. I needed to spend sweet,

1009
00:54:58,130 --> 00:55:01,130
intentional time with him and
allow the Spirit to take residence

1010
00:55:01,130 --> 00:55:05,650
in my. My heart and my soul
and my mind so that I could bear

1011
00:55:05,650 --> 00:55:09,330
the fruit of self control that
the Spirit is. Is bearing inside

1012
00:55:09,330 --> 00:55:15,210
of me. And so it's cliche, you
know, and it's so like, pastor, of

1013
00:55:15,210 --> 00:55:17,410
course you're gonna say that.
You know what I mean? But, like,

1014
00:55:18,770 --> 00:55:22,210
spend time with Jesus, you
know, spend time in prayer, spend

1015
00:55:22,210 --> 00:55:26,890
time in scripture, spend time
soaking in the presence of Jesus

1016
00:55:26,890 --> 00:55:29,890
so that the fruit of self
control could be born in your life

1017
00:55:30,050 --> 00:55:32,850
through the power of the Holy
Spirit, so you could be able to walk

1018
00:55:32,850 --> 00:55:36,170
in wisdom with your finances.
So that's that. Yeah, that's how

1019
00:55:36,170 --> 00:55:36,530
I would.

1020
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:43,150
Yeah. I think the last thing
for me is resources and kind of with

1021
00:55:43,150 --> 00:55:47,350
what you were saying, taking
the initiative, Proverbs has so much

1022
00:55:47,350 --> 00:55:48,350
financial wisdom.

1023
00:55:48,350 --> 00:55:48,750
Yeah.

1024
00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:52,230
Like, yes, the currency, you
know, it says, like, take account

1025
00:55:52,230 --> 00:55:55,390
of your. Of your. Your flock,
you know, because that was a part

1026
00:55:55,390 --> 00:55:58,590
of currency back then as well.
And so you might need to translate

1027
00:55:58,590 --> 00:55:59,630
the verbiage a little bit.

1028
00:55:59,630 --> 00:55:59,990
Right.

1029
00:55:59,990 --> 00:56:05,930
But there's so much wisdom in
proverbs. Go to financial advisors

1030
00:56:06,330 --> 00:56:10,250
that you think are credible.
So we talked about Dave Ramsey, but

1031
00:56:10,250 --> 00:56:14,250
there's also Sue's Orsman,
there's the Money Guys has a podcast.

1032
00:56:14,250 --> 00:56:17,850
Like, you need to put the
initiative in to find those resources

1033
00:56:19,050 --> 00:56:22,250
and whether you are in debt or
not. Like, I know we talked about

1034
00:56:22,250 --> 00:56:25,210
debt a lot, but you could be
someone who's doing really well,

1035
00:56:25,610 --> 00:56:28,650
but maybe either yourself or
the Lord's putting conviction on

1036
00:56:28,650 --> 00:56:29,850
you and, like, you could do more.

1037
00:56:29,930 --> 00:56:30,490
Yeah.

1038
00:56:30,650 --> 00:56:33,450
In the sense of, like, what
does generosity look like? Maybe

1039
00:56:33,450 --> 00:56:38,030
you do have a vision of, like,
I want to. To have cash flow from

1040
00:56:38,030 --> 00:56:41,750
investment properties. How can
I get there? Like you need to put

1041
00:56:41,750 --> 00:56:46,510
in the work to do that,
whether you're in debt or not. And

1042
00:56:46,510 --> 00:56:49,990
I think that still goes to
show the initiative that it takes,

1043
00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:53,430
the self discipline that it
takes, the community that it takes.

1044
00:56:53,510 --> 00:56:53,990
Yeah.

1045
00:56:54,630 --> 00:56:58,430
And that. Yeah. We're just,
we're never supposed to do any part

1046
00:56:58,430 --> 00:56:59,350
of our life alone.

1047
00:56:59,430 --> 00:56:59,910
Yeah.

1048
00:57:00,390 --> 00:57:04,300
And that if you're struggling
with any shame or pride or any of

1049
00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:08,500
the things that come with
money, I think that's the root issue.

1050
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:12,020
You need to start working
through first and everything else

1051
00:57:12,020 --> 00:57:15,220
will trail outside of that.
And so. Yeah.

1052
00:57:15,220 --> 00:57:15,660
Yeah.

1053
00:57:15,820 --> 00:57:18,700
Well, thank you guys so much
for joining us. Thank you for coming.

1054
00:57:18,779 --> 00:57:22,460
It was so good. Super helpful.
We hope this blessed you guys. And

1055
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:25,300
again, we'll see you next
time. We love you guys so much. Peace

1056
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:25,540
out.

1057
00:57:25,540 --> 00:57:25,860
Peace.

1058
00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:26,140
See.