This is a Global Player original podcast.

Hello and welcome.

Hello and welcome to the main episode record of Vogue and Amber recording from you at the very ungodly hour of 8:13 in the evening time.

Roll it there, Roisin.

Go go.

Emo.

Poor Emo.

I feel bad for Emo, but I have been up since 10 to 6 so I'm hitting a. I'm hitting a 15 hour day.

I give it with one hand and I take it with the other.

I feel sorry for Emma, but what about me?

But I'm.

But poor.

Poor at me.

But I actually treat work days kind of like a day off.

Okay, I treated.

I did, I did Lorraine this morning.

Lorraine is sound great crack.

And then I'd like to meet her.

I feel like her and I would be friends.

I feel like we'd go.

She's very funny.

Like some of the stuff she says backstage she obviously doesn't say in the show and is very funny.

And I'm like, oh my God, I dare you to say that on air.

She don't want to get in trouble.

Sure, I'm getting myself in trouble on air.

Oh God.

I've decided that I'm swearing too much and the reason I say that is cuz I called mom and Neil today and I forgot who I was talking to and I was like, got to do.

I said to Neil, I was like, got to record a pod.

Ambie, your language.

You could do much better than that.

I was like, oh God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I forgot who I was talking to.

I had.

I had mom on a bear by Vogler and I was talking to Melanie Morris who's she used to run Image magazine over here and I was like.

And then they fucking a mom in the background.

Did you.

Did you just say the F word?

I was like, mom, please, I'm 40 years old.

I know, but I think I swear too much and I think I need to pull it back.

So I was thinking I might try and challenge myself not to swear.

I was thinking I'll try and manage it on a bonus.

Not a main.

Absolutely not possible.

I.

Someone said a word today and it's a word I can't even say out loud.

I hate it so much.

S S Y I can't bear it.

It's my worst word of all the words.

That one.

I Come on, emo, you do it.

You do the best one.

I can't stand it.

Someone said it today and I was like, no.

Why did he say it?

Because well, actually, in fairness, backstage, there was a weird little cat, a teddy bear cat that was in a pretend basket.

And he goes, oh, is that your pee as a joke?

Oh, no.

Look at the wee pussy.

Oh, such.

Come on.

I could imagine an old Scottish lady saying that.

No, that's not my least favorite word.

Is the CU one.

Absolutely.

But my friends know I hate it, and they purposely say WhatsApp groups.

Like, I remember I was in a WhatsApp group that had that word.

It's just awful.

But that's why people like it.

Yeah.

Because it's really like, you know what you are?

You are a cunt.

And if someone calls you that, you're like, oh, have you ever been called that in a fight?

And you're like, oh, there's no comeback.

No.

Oh, my God.

Called me at numerous times.

I have not.

I've called you a pussy.

I said, get away from you.

Well, I didn't.

Well, I did.

I didn't talk about my week.

So I have loads to talk about with my week because I've had okay bits and bobs going on.

I'm trying my hand at many little things.

I went to see a hypnotherapist.

Oh, I booked him with Sharon again.

I'm going.

I need to book in with Sharon for that.

This hypnotherapist doesn't do this situation.

This hypnotherapist is for therapy.

And I just.

I'm going to give it another go.

I'm really.

I'm really going to give it another go.

But I feel like it.

Like I was trying to focus, and literally I'd say I was thinking about 20 different things.

And if I finish thinking about one thing, I create something new to think about.

And you're supposed to be getting in your mind meditative kind of stuff.

And I just.

It's just not me.

You know what I mean?

Yet she wants to get in touch with my hypnotist for some strange reason, that's not for her.

But that's for giving up.

That's for giving up smoke.

And that's going to be completely different.

I don't smoke for a couple of things.

I'm gonna get for the anxiety.

Yeah, do that.

Well, I'm trying it for the smoking.

So basically I went and did that.

So it was good.

I had a consultation and it was like Niagara Falls in the room.

Oh, no.

People.

I don't know.

I find it so embarrassing.

I know, but that's probably what kind of, like, spurred me on.

But anyway, I had to just take a few moments to.

That was a consultation.

And then I actually had a session.

And I actually had my shit together for the session, so that was good.

And I actually went to another therapist today.

So I'm really.

As I said.

She'S working on the mentee.

The menthe H. Yeah.

And there ain't nothing wrong with that, but she was brilliant.

The one I went to today, it was in person, so I'll be giving her another go, too.

And then I went to a coffee with ma.

That was lovely.

With Ma, Naomi.

And then some other woman called Joe, Naomi's friend.

She's lovely.

And they're very impressed with my golf.

And Ma.

It just.

It just warms my little heart.

And they really jealous.

I know you're gonna be jealous.

Okay.

My mom, it warns my little heart, she's like.

She just.

She's so, like, she's so encouraging, and she's like, I just love for you to take it up so, you know, we could do mother daughter competitions.

And I was like, oh, God.

Oh, God.

I'm gonna start taking it up because I know I'm better than you.

And then I'll just want to do a mother daughter team with you.

Like, she's.

We went to.

I honestly.

I'll show you my scorecard.

I don't really know how to read it, but I showed it to someone at work, and I was like, that's decent.

So then we got caught in absolutely torrential rain on the ninth hole, and I was wearing white trousers, and I didn't think I was in a bit of a rush because I just come from the hypnotherapy consultation, and I was wearing a black thong.

And I didn't think it looked.

It was absolutely stunning weather.

I got absolutely saturated.

We were in the car park.

Mom's like, I could see your black tongue.

What you want me to do?

Like, I didn't expect this.

And then what else?

Oh, I've got into a bit of a not a spot spat, but, like, you know, the way.

Obvious.

What?

I love a spat.

Go on with him.

No, it wasn't a spot because obviously, you know about the Duns vouchers and how we feel about the Duns vouchers.

Oh, God, the fights my family have over Duns.

Honestly, I can't buy a thing.

And don't put that on my club card.

I'm like, no, no, no.

It extended to my friend group.

I put it into my friend group of my three girls from school.

And I was like, any done space is going to Tumbleweed.

And then I was like, hello, I'm.

Nearly at the register department store.

It's like, it's like.

It's kind of like a Marks and Spencer.

Yeah, yeah.

And then one of them was like, no, I want to use mine tomorrow myself.

I was like, but I'll get more and I'll give you them.

No, but I want to use my own.

I was like, what?

And then another one came clean.

She was like, which one said that?

That's stupid.

I can't tell you because she'll probably be annoyed.

Lynn.

It was Lynn.

It was.

But then Keelan was like, no, I'm shopping in Tesco's and Aldi's at the was just like vouchers.

Like it's, it's tough out there with the old vouchers.

Yeah, well we don't really have that cuz we don't have vouchers in the uk.

So you have club cards and all that type of jiving like Sainsbury's.

And as I don't really, I don't really get bored when I. Nectar Cord is what they have in Sainsbury.

I don't get on board with that vibe too much.

I'm lazy.

You know the Boots Advantage cards that I'm getting one of them, they are actually really good because you get such.

I'm getting one.

You've such good deals when you look at the stuff.

The Advantage card.

But price, I was like, I was in Boots in the airport.

I was like, Jesus Christ, I need to get myself one of them.

But the reason you don't, the reason you don't have like the Nectar card or anything like that or Duns card is because like you don't go to the supermarket.

So when you're here, like that was like part of your day out with the kids when you were here to go to the Love Day.

I gotta bring kids for something to do.

I was like.

And they absolutely.

They have a big scrap to see who gets to sit in the trolley.

Because it's new for them, it's a novelty.

I'm like, t, T, you're not gonna fit in the trolley, babe.

You've been in the trolley.

And then he tries to CL in the actual trolley.

I'm like, no, I'm not pushing everyone around.

Me and Gigi went downstairs, so we were upstairs.

I was like, you come with me, Gigi.

Can I sit in the trolley?

And I said, no.

You know, your mama said, now Otto's sitting there.

What about in the main bit I was like, yeah, okay, booked her in there and then we weren't going to the supermarket so I said out you get, put in.

Love the supermarket.

I love the supermarket.

I love.

I love.

I love a foreign supermarket.

Oh, oh yeah.

Love going around to see what they have.

It's the.

The best.

They always have the nicest.

Now I do love our supermarkets as well, I have to say.

And then, then what else did I do?

I went to.

Went into town for East Salt's birthday.

East.

East east del ro and then ISO.

Pile of Amber's and yours.

Jesus.

Yeah, and mine.

Sorry, probably prefers me actually.

And then went on Friday, went on a boat trip out to Dunleary.

You know, it's meant to be like a collaborative conversation here, like, well, wait until you're finished.

I went out in the boat and I went to a gorgeous restaurant in Glass Hill and I loved it and I'm sorry but Dunleary is very beautiful.

It would give h a bit of a run for its money.

But it's not how.

No, it would not.

Would you get lost?

Nah.

Vogue.

The walk from Dun liry to Glass still there's a gorgeous.

Loads of lovely strong give oath a.

Run for its money is all I'm saying.

I retract, I retract.

The mayor of Hoth is going to come up here now and kick you out.

So I should probably end up coming in here.

Tell me about your week then.

Oh, great.

Well, you throw your eyes up to heaven.

Jeez.

Well, actually, interesting you should ask because I went to put on a pair of my trainers or trainers.

Oh God, no, I'm not allowed to say that.

Runners.

I went to put on a pair of my runners the other day and I put my feet in and I was like, hmm, unusual.

Why are they both filled with fairy tales?

Scent boosters.

I mean, it's a great idea but I was like, absolutely.

How much did you use?

Why were you not.

Were you not wearing socks when you wore my runners or something?

I was, I was.

It's because they were brand new.

I put the.

I do that with my runners all the time.

Well, you don't ever.

You have to tell people.

So I know not to shove my big foot in there.

Exactly.

It gets covered in scent and you're not supposed to do that, by the way.

I have to say this, you're meant to keep them out of reach of children, right?

But if you don't have any kids in the house, I'd be putting those things in little dishes in my wardrobe and everything.

They smell so good.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you can get those big bags.

No, you can get the big bag of that silica.

Is it silica balls or whatever.

And you put them in your wardrobe because they, like, absorb any moisture and stuff like that.

I want.

Remember potpourri?

Everyone used to love a bit of potpourri around.

I remember someone eating it when they were jarred.

Who ate?

I remember someone eating a bowl of cigarettes.

No, no, don't, don't.

I'll never.

For.

I'll never forget it until my dying day.

Is that.

Is that happening?

Oh, my God, he's doing it.

Oh, no, he's doing.

Ate a spoonful of cigarettes.

Just thinking it was like a bowl of cereal or something.

That was the drunkest I've ever seen someone.

Anyway, I was hosting the NTA's the National Television Award carpet for Lorraine last.

And it was.

Oh, that was last.

Because I was like.

Someone said that to me and work.

They're like, oh, I saw Vogue was at the NTA's.

He's from Cork.

And I was like, no, she.

I was like, no, she wasn't.

He was like, no, I think I saw her on the red carpet and I was like, no.

He was like, for Lorraine.

I was like, no, no, no, she was on Lorraine this morning.

Shows what I know.

I was there last night.

And, you know, it's actually so fun.

And I love doing that.

Cause I love going to bed and then I just go home after the red carpet.

It's not like I was nominated for anything, but.

So I was talking to Rob Bryden, who is like one of my favorite comedians.

Isn't he so cool?

He was so nice as well.

You know, when you're just.

I'm just so.

When someone's so cool and you love them so much, it's amazing.

Alison Hammond.

Oh, I love her.

I was actually.

I want to get it.

I'm gonna get a T shirt made with her face on it, and I'm gonna wear it.

I saw a comedian do that.

What's his name?

Did that emo.

Ivo Graham.

I was actually only watching that interview that she did with Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford.

Oh, so good.

So good.

And then she was like, I need a drink.

And it was just like, oh, it was just hilarious.

She's like, so she have a good time in the movie?

And they were like, did you enjoy it?

And she's like, I don't know.

I haven't watched it.

That is not her accent.

So disregard that.

That happened to me last night.

With Emmett Scanlon.

So he came over and Emmett Scanlan's in Marvellous.

But, like, I haven't watched Marvellous.

I realized last night, by the way, I'm doing too much reading.

I'm gonna have to cut back in the reading.

I didn't know a lot of people there unless they were in the Daily Mail.

I didn't know who they were because I don't watch enough tv.

But anyway, I do plan on watching Mobland, but I was like, oh, I'll get Emmett over, like, because they'll come and chat you if you're.

If you're mainly.

If you're with Lorraine.

And.

And he came over and I was like, oh, you've stolen my husband from me.

Like, he's been.

He's watched Moblan twice.

And he's like, oh, yeah, what did you think of it?

And I was like, well, I haven't watched it yet.

And he was like, oh.

Is he.

Is he the guy that was in Holly?

Oh, yeah.

He was an audio.

She was like, okay, well, what else have you seen me in?

I was like, well, I think you're a brilliant actress.

He's like, what?

And I was like, peaky blonde.

No, he was in that Irish one.

You know the Irish one that was like, almost like love, hate.

And then they stopped it after season two.

Yes.

Some celebs that you meet are just like, Davina McCall.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, she's one of the nicest people that you'll ever meet.

I just love her.

And she's really good, fun.

Josie Gibson.

I don't know if Irish people will know Josie Gibson, but she is.

She was on Big Brother on the.

Jump years ago, and she's just.

I really want to go in the piss with her, actually.

I have to say, she's.

She's one of those people that.

She just opens her mouth and you just can't stop laughing.

Just even.

Just because of.

Not even the voice.

It's the everything.

Oh.

I had an unusual happening today.

Did you want to say something else before I creep back in?

I was going to say something, but.

I was just like.

I was.

Something from when I was over in Dun Laoghaire.

When we got back to the yacht club, we were going to go to the boat, and I really did want to try and not talk about Pooh.

Dunlaura.

Is that what it's called?

Dun Lyric.

Dun Lyric.

I didn't want to talk about poo, but I actually don't even know if we should include this.

But basically, I got to the October and I wanted to have a wee.

So I went downstairs, I went to the toilet.

Has this ever happened to you?

And I went to the toilet.

I was in the toilet.

Next thing, I hear someone saying goodbye to someone and then they come to the toilet.

I was in shock.

If you've got there.

If you've got the runny tummies, I'm sure you.

That wasn't the run.

She just obviously was holding it in.

It was just a normal poopy poo.

There was a few.

I don't want to go into the detail of the.

It's always good.

It's a good tip to put a bit of tissue paper in the bowl.

Yeah.

You know.

Always.

I had an incident.

Oh, shut up.

We're not talking about that.

You didn't even shut up.

We were late for something and Amber was like, I need to do a poo.

I can't go.

I didn't say.

I said numerous.

I was like, well, I have to do a wee.

She's like, I'm going first.

First of all, we're driving and Amber just gets out of the driver's seat because she's had enough of driving.

She's like, move, move at light.

And I straight in the car and.

Ran around and she had to go.

So then it was like, okay, well, now I'm driving.

I didn't want to drive.

I always have to drive.

Who the fuck do you think you.

Are getting driven around all the time?

I drive you around because you're always like, I'm drinking.

I drove the car with a white gloss.

So I can't do it.

Not anymore.

That was the old me.

I drove us in and out to the theater.

Not one offer from you or Megan.

Oh, God.

Fucking just not even talked about life, like, squeezing to get into the car.

Anyway, so we pull up to this cafe and I was like, don't you dare go in there before me.

Don't you dare.

And obviously I then had to park the car.

And she legged it in with the key.

I couldn't even lock it.

I went in on her.

Oh, yeah.

And I started punching on the door.

And I was like, don't do it, Amber.

I.

And I came out and she goes, you're gonna fucking pay for this.

I was like, oh, my God.

I didn't go.

And you took the fucking key.

And I went down.

Do you know what she'd done?

She'd put all of her bags into the boot of the car, left my bag in the car.

I was like, here's some piece of fucking work.

Give it out to me.

Just.

I looked at your bag and I said, no one's gonna try and steal that.

Fair, fair, fair.

Anyway, we scared the poo back into her, so there was.

Nobody wants.

Nobody wants to mess with fucking sandcastle hands.

Shovel hands.

So.

Oh.

Everything happened to me at the airport today.

I was obviously flying back to Ireland, and I was on the phone to Louisa, my manager, and I was like, hang on, hang on.

I need to tell you something in a second because there was a man walking towards me in Heathrow Airport over at the gates, and he had a jumper around his neck and nothing else on.

He had tractor bones but no top on.

And then they.

Because I was waiting to walk past them, say something to.

To tell Louisa that there was a man walking around the airport without top on, because I found it very unusual.

And then he stopped me and he was like, vogue, can I get a picture?

And I was like, okay.

And I was like, why don't you have a top on?

And he's like, I'm too hot.

I was like, I don't really think you're, like, around the airport.

And off he went with no top.

He'd get in trouble for that for sure.

You will eventually.

You can't be.

It's not like public indecency or something.

I like in the air.

It's.

No, it's just inappropriate.

Like, I know I did once try and go into a supermarket in a bikini top, and they wouldn't let me in.

I've never gotten Spain just for Sake.

I was like, like, look at you, Vogue.

You've got a bit of string around your chest.

That's all I need.

That's all I need.

We.

We love giving a review.

Sometimes people do, and people, like, review on the podcast.

They review Bear by Vogue and all that kind of stuff, and you like it.

But there was this patient, right, and a doctor saved his life, a gastrointestinal oncologist, and he decided to leave an online review of him.

And the patient said, Dr. Lewis saved my life, followed by four stars at five.

And everyone was like, what do you have to do to get five stars?

Like, he saved your life.

There's not really much more.

Like, I don't know how you really.

But I suppose some people work on the basis that you can always better yourself.

But that's.

I feel like that was.

I feel like that was a mistake on his part, only doing four stars.

I don't know.

But once I Gave a re.

I did.

I, I had a really bad order of something and I gave it like a three star review because it was really bad.

And Sveni was raging with me.

He was like, you shouldn't do that.

It was terrible because I just, I kind of, I, I kind of don't leave too many reviews like that if they're going to be bad.

Unless a real.

No, I wouldn't do that unless someone's getting robbed or something.

Some people are prolific, prolific reviewers.

Well, remember that guy who took the tennis ball off that kid at the tennis match?

And the way people, people found out he was.

It was a hat.

A hat.

A hat.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Blatant soap.

And people found out who he was and he, their company had a 5 star like reviews and like total.

It was 5 stars and overall and people went and just gave them him one star reviews and left awful comments and just dragged the company's like review system down like that.

And I thought that that was a bit bad.

Yeah.

But he came out and he didn't apologize.

He said, everyone's looking for the same thing.

And he said if, basically, if you continue to slander me, I'll take it further.

If you continue to slander.

Well, pal, what he did wasn't nice.

Like, what are you gonna.

I said, talk to John about this.

What are you gonna do with the hat?

Anyway, someone else.

Sheen.

Sheen, shine, whatever.

Sheen.

There was a one star review of a dress on sheen.

Wore this to dinner and almost choked on a piece of steak at the table.

Not the dress's fault, but I can't wear it anymore.

People are so.

That's just like.

That is just.

People are odd.

There was a five star review from a Manchester hotel.

I was lying on the bed in the room and some of the bedroom ceiling came down on me and my wife.

She was hurt.

They gave us a free breakfast.

Excellent.

Stay.

Let's stay again.

Five stars.

Some people.

Some people are easy to please.

And then others not so much.

Amazon.

Bic for her.

Pens.

Finally, pens for women.

My hands are smaller, so I struggled with man pens.

Now I can write down shopping list and my feminine thoughts with ease.

Obviously that's sarcastic.

It's taking the piss because it's like SEC.

Sexist.

TripAdvisor.

Big Ben.

It's just a clock.

My watch does the same thing and I don't have to queue.

That's.

That's.

I bet you that was Neil.

Yeah.

Oh, I wonder how many reviews Neil's done.

But the thing about Big Ben is because I Was giving out when they were painting it.

Remember, it took years.

How much did they spend?

Will you Google that for me?

Yeah, I will.

I wish they spent a load of money on Big Ben, refurbishing it.

And I was like, that's a lot of taxpayers money to go on a clock.

But I cycle by there all the time.

And the hordes of people going, can you go inside?

No, you stand outside and look at it.

And I've had many pictures.

They're all, like, trying to get in a good spot for a picture with Big Ben.

It's like.

And I have to say, when I cycle by on my cycle, on my bike one time, I was cycling by and I was like, one day, I'll never see Big Ben again and I'll be dead, and I won't get to see that again.

And I did think that about Big Ben.

Why would you think that?

Like, geez, that's the last thing I'd be thinking about if I died.

Oh, God, I'll never see Big Ben again.

How much.

How much did they spend him up?

Guess how much?

I think it's 56.

I think 56.

I'm gonna say.

Hold on.

I'm gonna say 34.

The restoration of Big Band's clock tower cost approximately £80 million.

Oh, I don't like it that much now, but.

No, think about 80 million.

Yeah.

The project started with an estimate of 29 million, but went up to just under 80.

Oh, no.

Well, they spent.

Was it 7 million on repainting the pool bag chimneys.

Oh, I told mom it was 6 million on the way home.

Six, seven.

I mean, what's a million between friends?

The kids were getting armored to tell stories about things on the way home.

She only really had one story.

Remember, you're like.

And the hill went on fire with the gorse, and they.

And then they got the goats in after that because it burned for 10 weeks.

And then they got the goats to keep the vegetation.

Tell us more stories.

Orange.

Well, that's a graveyard.

Where.

Where people go when they die.

That's where Nanny Sandra's mom and dad are.

There was another one.

Loch Ness.

Waited three hours.

No monster.

Wouldn't waste your.

Yeah, I mean, Stonehenge.

Pile of rocks in a field.

Couldn't even climb on them.

Sheep were more interesting.

No, like Loch Ness, I'd have to say.

Yeah, manage your expectations there.

It's beautiful around Loch Ness.

You're going for the Skenery.

Okay.

God, we didn't do sister cards first.

God, it's because it's 20 to 9.

I wasn't thinking.

Right.

Oh, God.

Listeners, I'm desperately sorry about this.

Okay, go.

What always gives you a nostalgia overload?

I would say when I've been away and I come back, I can't remember, was it when I was in Spain and then when I went over to London as well.

When was it I went over to London?

Maybe April, or was it.

I think it was the beginning of May, and I hadn't been into London in so long, and it was kind of seeing things.

Remember?

And I was telling you about that place and I was like, oh, it looks really quaint with people sitting out and you're like, that's a hole.

And then when I came back to Howth as well, after being in Spain, it's just like, I love her so much.

I know.

Well, that.

Yeah, I kind of get that.

I get.

I get it a lot now with the kids toys because they're getting like.

T wants a Tamagotchi.

He got a Furby for his birthday.

And it's all things that I used to have.

Next up, they're going to be watching.

Hey, Arnold.

I can't wait.

And the Rugrats.

Remember, the Rugrats are brilliant.

What about you, Emma?

I think certain films make me feel really nostalgic.

Like.

Like the film Grease makes me feel really nostalgic for some reason.

I don't know.

I watched it endlessly when I was little.

Greece.

I don't know why we're into Greece.

Hello, girl.

You love dancing, you love theater.

It all makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, it makes sense for you.

They had this, like, convention in Battersea Park.

I know.

I was gonna ask.

Right.

Did you not go in limo?

I didn't go.

My friend went.

She said it was amazing.

Yeah, it looked amazing.

You're saying you love Greece, but you didn't even go to the convention.

I said that it made me nostalgic.

I think.

I think what's kind of in the hall now?

In a minute.

Beat her up.

Please do go back to her, please.

She won't be able to get down the stairs in those boots.

You want to see those hussy boots she's wearing?

I've got no boots on.

I've only got my.

I've got my.

Only got my feet.

Okay, what's the next one?

I can't believe I nearly forgot these bad boys.

What's the.

What's the weirdest food combination you actually enjoy?

Well, you know what mine and Emmos is?

Marmite.

No, Bovril on toast.

But I wouldn't say that's abnormal.

I like to have ketchup with my roast and people think that's disgusting.

That is weird.

I love it.

I used to eat.

Catch.

I used to make toast and put mayonnaise and ketchup on the toast.

I know, I know.

I love chicken goujons with like.

I could have like four or five sauces on the plate.

Your goujons, they're not.

They come in this huge.

Piss off.

I needed something to test out the.

What's that stuff called?

The ranch.

They come in with this huge sack.

It's definitely like.

It's not a force.

Would you fuck off?

I actually did a video.

I did a video of camera sauces in the fridge.

I forgot to host it.

I'm after getting some new sauces.

I found a new one the other day.

Could possibly be any other sauces.

I saw a new one the other day.

Sriracha ketchup.

So that's now in the fridge.

You can have a little bit of that.

Try that.

Okay.

What's a skill you've tried to learn and failed miserably at?

Dancing.

Desperate dancing.

I don't know why.

I just can't do it.

I don't remember what I said then.

I have the cheek to judge other people's dancing.

I'm like, they're not that good.

I.

No, I can't remember.

Remember, you used to be into the keyboard hammer.

Okay?

I'm.

I'm devastated.

I got rid of that keyboard.

I'll have you know, used to getting those decks out.

And Tanya, it's gonna happen soon.

I'm threatening them.

I can't remember what mine was, what I tried to.

What I tried to learn and failed miserably at.

I mean, where do you start?

Maybe which item in your wardrobe has the most stories attached to it.

What?

What?

Hey, hey, Ms.

Balls.

What?

I can't live a life.

Oh, there's my tit.

Your actual tit or your bra, you little sicko.

My dish.

I've got no bra on.

Oh, my God.

Emo just censored.

Oh, no.

Emo.

Don't tell me.

Sorry, listeners, I'm just flashing the girls.

Burger number after hours.

Imagine late night special, guys.

This is the X rated version.

What was the.

Sorry, what was the question?

Oh, something that.

Which item in your wardrobe has the most stories attached to it?

My leather tracers.

They used to go everywhere with me.

They were never off the legs.

You know what mine would have been washed them.

Mine would have been the cowboy boots.

Never on My feet, devastated.

I got rid of them too, to be honest.

Them and the keyboard.

Whenever you're standing there bottleneck naked, like the keyboard.

When I'm at the cowboy visa.

They weren't in fashion and we would spend hours and hours slagging her.

All of us would.

And she was actually the queen of the fashion.

Do you have a tiny ritual you can't skip Teeth.

We bed.

Well, I don't think anyone can skip that.

You'd be surprised.

I'm very good at taking my vitamins, my meds, my supplements.

Yeah.

Very good at that.

I can't skip it.

I love.

I love having them.

I. Magnesium.

As a sleep obsessed person, I'm just.

I love magnesium really a lot.

I'm not.

Yeah, I'm not great.

I don't like to take it during the day because someone was like, you get dozy in the day and put the spray you can get for your feet as well, which I used to use.

What's a habit you picked up as.

A kid that you say there is the scent boosters and the shoes.

There's something wrong with those Rogers.

The spray was Mitchum deodorant.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Look who's on the.

I walked immediately.

I walked into Amber's room once when she was putting roll on on her.

On her soles of her feet.

I like was that special dry claw stuff, you know, for people with sweating problems.

But I'd be putting on me feet, on me trousers.

Oh.

What'S a habit you picked up as a kid that you still do now?

The bloody magpie thing.

No, that isn't what we did, is it?

No, we haven't said that.

When the magpie thing.

We picked that up as a kid and we always did the magpie.

Yeah.

I blessed all the graveyards like.

I hate you for that.

I saw.

I didn't even get down the hill today and I saw three pairs of.2 magpies, one for sour tooth.

Joy was delightful.

Well, tell us, did you have a good day?

I did have a great day, yeah, it was brilliant.

Off the charts, as they say.

Oh, wow.

Hey, roll approaching.

Quick, let's go.

Okay, next, what's your favorite fictional character?

I'd probably say someone from the L word like best, but I love Tina.

I loved Tina so much.

I love me some Tina.

I don't know any fictional characters.

Emo knows what I'm talking.

What?

Who was your favorite in the L word?

Don't tell me.

Shane.

Who was.

Oh, what about Alice?

Alice and Shane are real good friends in real Life.

Really?

Yeah.

I think we have a podcast.

Come on.

What do you mean?

For us?

It's just you.

You're the odd one out.

Did you ever watch the.

What was the one set in Glasgow?

Oh, my God.

Was it lip service or some shite?

Yes, I. I saw.

I remember we went to.

Remember we went to Brighton Pride.

And I was like, oh, my God, there's your one from lip service.

She's now in EastEnders.

Oh, I saw.

I was talking to Phil Mitchell last night.

Shut up.

Yeah, and I saw.

I saw.

I'm not a slag.

I'm almost total.

I didn't speak to her, though.

But I saw her.

Yeah.

What do you wish your sister was better at?

Everything, like, just.

I wish she was good at something.

I was actually gonna be nice and say nothing.

I think you're really good at everything, you stupid.

Okay.

Except for having fresh feet.

Stanky ass feet.

I know.

I'm only joking.

I wish you were better.

Genuinely.

I wish you were better at being less busy and being able to relax.

I'm not going to be able to do that though, because I was talking to.

Because I am lessening my workload a little bit.

But when I last my workload, I'm like, right, what wardrobe will I clear?

She said physically twiddling my tongue.

I can.

I do.

I take.

I'm gonna take a break now when I've had my 15 hour day and I'm gonna pop down and have a yogurt and then go up and take on my makeup off and read me book.

So do you think I should be better at anything?

Do I need to.

Do you wish I was better at something?

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Do you want to wish you were better at.

Past my bedtime?

What do I wish you were better at?

Okay.

I think that you're fine and everything.

Okay, thank you.

I appreciate that.

Okay.

What's a life hack?

You swear by sleep?

I think sleep is a superpower.

I'm sorry, I know we're sleep obsessed, but I think, like, if you don't have a good night's sleep, you're ratty.

You're not performing at 100.

Just when you are well rested.

It's like, you, you're a superhuman.

Well, what I will say to you is, I read this thing now.

It was on Instagram, so I can't.

Can't verify it, but some people are programmed to work perfectly on four hours sleep.

And some people are programmed to work perfectly, but they need 10 to 12 hours sleep.

So there's like, there's people are like chilled babies.

Babies for the time.

Adults.

No adults.

I'm telling you, there are some adults that need 10 to 12 hours sleep to.

To work properly.

I'm sorry, no, I just don't accept that for an adult.

Well, yes, Amber, I read it on Instagram.

So it has to be true.

Exactly.

Fact check.

It's not true.

It's.

It's definitely not true.

You're just jealous because you're going to be crying into your cornflake tomorrow.

Cuz we're up at 5:20.

Okay, will we do this then?

Petty X's.

Yeah, petty exes.

A story that we found.

A story that we found.

This guy donated a kidney to his wife.

Jeez, there's a lot of popularity with kidneys.

He was a neurosurgeon as well.

So like a super highly intelligent, high functioning fella called Richard Bastista.

Batista.

Oh my God.

Does he do the dry shampoo?

Oh no, it's Batista.

So in two hours.

So in 2001, he donated a kidney to his wife, Donnell.

However, four years later, when they got divorced, he demanded the return of the kidney or 1.5 million in compensation.

Compensation.

The county supreme court ruled that human organs are considered gifts under law and cannot be reclaimed or valued for monetary compensation.

Taking her to court for the kidney.

Richard, like, off.

I just don't get that level of bitterness.

Like just piss off.

Yeah, Richard, Amber said piss off.

You can't have the kidney anyway.

Dicky Wiki.

God damn it.

There was another one.

A man bought a spray bottle.

This is the worst.

I think this is desperate.

You should not do anything.

This is worse than the kidney, in my opinion.

He bought a spray bottle and filled it with milk, misting everything that.

With milk that quickly dried and seriously stank.

I mean, do you ever feel milk in your car?

I remember I spilled like, what was it?

Orange juice in Naomi's car and poof, it stuck.

At least it was Naomi's car, not yours.

I know.

Remember when you were younger in school and like your yogurt would burst in your bag or something?

It was.

Oh, they just.

It's like when you vomit up milk because it curdles in your tummy when it hits with the bile.

Oh my God.

Wait, I'll tell you this vomit story, right?

This is horrendous.

A man in Indiana hired a public puker.

A man who, for money, will throw up at any given time.

He hired the man to vomit on his ex when she was on the bus home.

That's A.

That.

That is.

That is absolutely atrocious.

Another f. That you would think of doing something.

Another person.

Their ex removed all the labels from the canned goods.

I mean, that's kind of funny.

In Nashville, a man hired a mariachi.

Quite exciting, though, wouldn't it?

You never know what you're gonna have for dinner, you know?

What's, what's the.

What's the side dish we're having tonight, lads?

Is it beans?

Is it peas?

Is it spam?

In Nashville, a man hired a mariachi band to serenade his cheating ex as she moved out and then follow her around for a week.

The judge prosecuted the man as this technically counted as stalking.

I saw.

No, I saw a gay guy doing that.

He was having a cocktail and there was one guy standing there doing the mariachi singing.

And his.

Obviously his boyfriend had cheated on him and he was moving out.

His ex boyfriend.

Oh, God.

A lady poured rubber bands all over her ex's porch.

They can't be swept and need to be picked up one by one.

That's.

I think if you're gonna have to do something, at least do something less mean like that.

Like getting someone to vomit on your partner.

So insane.

This guy filled his ex's curtain rod with raw shrimp.

Why'd you do that?

A few times.

What?

I would prefer the milk is the worst.

Honestly.

You won't be able to get it out.

Listen, you need to walk away from things.

Don't be petty.

Give your.

Don't be petty.

There was a woman, though, who signed her ex up for the Church of Scientology, saying he worked nights.

Would prefer to be contacted at 3am Remember that man who got people to start?

He put leaflets around the place and he was getting people to.

To pretend to be Chewbacca and ringing his wife and doing the Chewbacca noise.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Amber's camera's just zoomed in.

It's frightened the life out of all.

Of us, including me.

What do you do?

Tell me that way.

Oh, no.

Hold on.

Okay.

We are back.

We are back in business.

I think that's terrible.

I, I, I don't think I've done anything like that to an ex.

I just think you just have to do, like, you just.

I think you just have to let it go and just be the bigger person and just don't do it once.

Like, you gotta start ignoring and stuff.

It's not great.

Silence is deafening anyway.

Will we finish off in an agony amp?

Oh, my God, yes.

Hi, Vogue.

And Amber, I love you too.

Every week she is saying hello to you too.

I'm saying hello to you too, Emma.

I've just taken a big jump in life and moved to Brighton for a new job and for a fresh start.

Go fucking you.

And while I'm excited, I also feel really out of place and a bit alone.

Oh, no.

I really want to explore the little things the city has to offer.

Cute cafes, local markets, parks, or even going to the cinema.

But I feel nervous doing these things on my own.

I keep imagining people noticing me or thinking it's strange.

So most days I just stay in or go to the gym.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus.

I really want to feel brave enough to enjoy this new chapter, meet new people.

But I don't know how to take that first step without feeling self conscious.

Any advice?

I actually have loads of, loads of advice.

Also.

I want to find a fit boyfriend.

By the way, so she's not gay Ball.

Not all the people in Bratnick, eh?

Apparently.

Did you know that?

All the people in brightneigh Shock.

So there are things.

I think there's loads of things you can do now.

There's an app that you can get to meet people.

Is it Gennaro or.

No, it's not Gennaro.

There's one.

I don't think that I, I.

Would you not just like go to a gym class in your gym and try and kind of talk to somebody or like take up a sport like my friend.

Sport is a good way.

Yeah.

Tennis again.

And she's a great group of friends in the tennis club and she's very good.

Magnificent tennis player.

It's Brighton.

Brighton's more of a village, you feel.

Brighton's absolutely lovely.

And I heard that a lot of the young people move slightly further than Brighton to Shoreham.

No, but folks, people do use that.

I know.

Someone told me about this app in London.

I just can't remember the name.

And then I get.

I've seen the ads on Social for an app.

App.

It's instead of like.

It's a friend app, like a dating app, but it's a friend app.

And then there's also things that they organize dinners in different cities and stuff like that.

That's ways to meet.

And sometimes.

And sometimes there's like hiking groups and stuff that you can go on if you want to join Jimmy things.

Or there's running groups.

Yes.

Of all different levels that you can do.

And what's that called?

Park Run.

Everyone loves Park Run.

I would put it into chat GBT and say chat GBT.

Give me 10 suggestions of how I can meet people from social groups in terms of fitness.

Well, I hope you find some friends.

You seem like a sound person.

And just go out there and try and be a little bit brave because Brighton's loads of fun.

It's gorgeous in Brighton.

I was just there recently.

Don't be paranoid about doing things on your own because I went for a meal there about a month ago and there was a woman in there and I was like, that's a badass bitch.

You're sitting there having a big slap ass meal on her own and a couple of glasses of wine.

So don't be paranoid.

It's probably you because you're just feeling a little bit insecure.

But people definitely probably aren't looking at you.

Unless you're a fucking roid.

That's what your mom would always say to you.

Who'd be looking at you anyway?

Do you know what's wrong with them?

They're jealous.

They're green.

Do you not look at them?

They're green.

Anyway, Sissa, thank you so much everyone for listening.

We've had a lovely time.

We always love when you send your bits and Bobs in VOG and I repod global.com and we will see you for the bonus on Thursday.

Yes.

I have to look at the camera.

Thank you, everyone.

It's been emotional.

Oh, God, I'm scared of her.

Goodbye.

Bye.

This is a Global Player original podcast.