Welcome to Close it now, the podcast that's revolutionizing the H Vac and home improvement trades industries.
Speaker AGet ready to dive deep into the world of heating, ventilation and air conditioning.
Speaker AWe're turning up the heat on industry standards and cooling down misconceptions.
Speaker AAnd we're not just talking about fixing vents and adjusting thermostats.
Speaker AIt's about the transformative movement that's reshaping the very foundation of H Vac and home improvement.
Speaker AWe're the driving force, inspiring top performers who crave excellence not only in their professional endeavors, but also in fitness, nutrition, relationships and personal growth, proving that we can indeed have it all.
Speaker AThis is Close it now, where excellence meets excitement.
Speaker ALet's get to work now your host, Sam Wakefield.
Speaker BHey, hey, hey.
Speaker BWelcome back to Close It Now.
Speaker BSam Wakefield here.
Speaker BToday I have a very special episode for you and it's actually going to be the start of incorporating a lot more of the things that we've been talking about in the, in the show up until now.
Speaker BAnd this one is going to be focused on something that is insanely and insanely important to your sales numbers.
Speaker BBut you might not actually connect the dots just yet, but you will see how as soon as we get into this episode.
Speaker BSo today I'm so excited to introduce.
Speaker BIn fact, this will be the.
Speaker BThis gentleman's fourth appearance on the show.
Speaker BIf you go back and listen to the other episodes, you're going to get a massive amount of business value.
Speaker BToday.
Speaker BIt's a little bit of a different focus though.
Speaker BThis gentleman, his name is Jimmy Jays.
Speaker BHe is an entrepreneur and he is a business coach.
Speaker BHe's absolutely been my business coach and he's an incredible family man.
Speaker BHis he.
Speaker BIn fact, when talking about the business coaching, here's the number that just always blows my mind.
Speaker BHe has been a business coach for the owner of a solar company who went from zero to now $1.1 billion in sales.
Speaker BThat's billion with a B.
Speaker BSo that is really enormous.
Speaker BAnd I mean, I don't know many business coaches that can claim that type of, that type of number in their portfolio.
Speaker BAnd most importantly, every bit of that has been done while they, him, him and his wife homeschool their children and keeps that incredible balance.
Speaker BSo I'm super stoked to have you on the show, Mr. Jimmy J's.
Speaker BThanks for being here, sir.
Speaker CSo glad to be here, man.
Speaker BYeah, absolutely.
Speaker BWell, let's open up this conversation a little bit, man.
Speaker BSo actually, before we do, I'm going to recap just really quickly for everybody listening.
Speaker BWhy this is important.
Speaker BSo if you go back and listen to.
Speaker BIn fact, I'll put this in the show notes there.
Speaker BI've done several episodes on all of the components that make someone worth buying from.
Speaker BEvery tag, every show.
Speaker BWe end with be someone worth buying from.
Speaker BWhat does that mean?
Speaker BThat's not just your cell skills.
Speaker BWe know that there's five other elements to your life that make a complete person.
Speaker BNutrition, fitness, your personal growth journey, your spiritual life, and your relationships.
Speaker BSo inside your relationships, family values.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker BYou could be single, you could have a big family, a small family.
Speaker BIt doesn't matter.
Speaker BThis is crucial to being a key component in your sales performance.
Speaker BWe know if your things are suffering at home, it's gonna hit your numbers like it or not, even if it's subconscious.
Speaker BSo that's why this is such an important, crucial conversation today, especially moving into the holidays and moving into 2025.
Speaker BSo with that context and that setup, let's get started, man.
Speaker BGive us a little bit of a brief history of why, where you landed with this topic and with what you're doing now with this message.
Speaker CYeah, well, totally agree with what you just said.
Speaker CThis is something that will, you know, affect your numbers, affect your business, and whether you're somebody who has kids, doesn't have kids, plan to have kids one day, never plan to have kids.
Speaker CIf you're going to be in this space and you're going to be making sales, you're going to be, you know, connecting with homeowners that have children.
Speaker CYour.
Speaker CIf you're running a business, you've got a bunch of, you know, people working for you that have kids.
Speaker CAnd if you're a sales manager, same exact thing.
Speaker CAnd the crazy thing is when we go through and we talk about a lot of the concepts we're going to talk about today, we're going to talk a little bit about roots and wings.
Speaker CAll the same concepts actually apply from a business level.
Speaker CSo if you're a business owner, literally just replace the word kids with the words, you know, employees or comfort advisors.
Speaker CAnd it's incredible how the same things apply where you want a company full of people that have roots and wings.
Speaker CSo how I came upon this is I was just speaking at an event, and I met a gentleman named Scott Donnell, and he was talking about family and raising kids.
Speaker CAnd I just took fast and furious notes for an hour and just, like, kept nodding my head, and I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker CAnd I started learning about entrepreneurship at 21 years old and was fortunate enough to be able to Quit my job at 23 from some passive income, from some real estate.
Speaker CAnd I was learning all these lessons and reading these books.
Speaker CAnd so when, when my first son was born, Henry, he's 14 now, when he was born, I just started teaching him the stuff that I learned at 21.
Speaker CAnd I was like, man, what a, you know, what a head start it is to be able to learn this stuff really, really early in life.
Speaker CSo that's kind of been my journey is this has been something that I've just kind of done with my own children on the side.
Speaker CI've always thought about who are some other people that I can connect with.
Speaker CAnd it's just a topic that I'm really passionate about and love being able to help entrepreneurs specifically, you know, deal with what is it like to have this business going on or have a sales career going on while still, you know, doing things at home.
Speaker CAnd one of the quotes that I read was that there's no such thing as balance.
Speaker CSo if you're thinking about balances, a pie chart, it's not like that balance.
Speaker BEverybody talks about the work life balance.
Speaker CRight, Right.
Speaker CIt's the work life juggle.
Speaker CIt's not balance.
Speaker CIt's a juggle.
Speaker CAnd there's three balls that you're juggling in the air.
Speaker COne of them is your business or your career.
Speaker COne of them is your health, and one of them is your family.
Speaker CAnd you just need to understand that one of the balls is made out of rubber and the other two are glass.
Speaker CFamily and your health are glass.
Speaker CYou drop the ball in business, you can, you can fix it, you can pick it back up.
Speaker CYou lose your health, that's tougher.
Speaker CYou lose your family, that's tougher.
Speaker BThat is the first time I've heard that analogy.
Speaker BAnd for everybody that listening, not watching, I just got misty eyed because it hit me so heavy in my chest just now because I've experienced shattering that glass ball either one before and it's awful and no fun to try to piece back together.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd a lot of times, you know, as entrepreneurs, there's where we're reading books, we're looking at things about how do we get better at our sales.
Speaker CAnd, and if I looked at my library, there's a point in time where I had probably 150 business books and zero books on parenting.
Speaker CAnd I said that I wanted to be a great parent, but I had zero parenting books.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CSo, yeah, just an interesting, interesting topic when it comes to, you know, raising, raising kids and what's, what's really important.
Speaker BWow, that's incredible.
Speaker BAnd, and I can, my brain, of course, because I'm sit in the business world so much, instantly in the back of my head I'm thinking, wow, these are, it's also great leadership principles.
Speaker BWe're leading a family, we're leading a business, we're leading, leading, leading.
Speaker C100%.
Speaker C100% love it.
Speaker BWell, well, thanks for that, that setup.
Speaker BSo if you didn't hear anything else today.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker BJust realizing that, yeah, your business is the rubber ball and woo.
Speaker BFamily and family and your relationships and, and the, the third one.
Speaker CYour health.
Speaker BYour health.
Speaker BYour health.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BYour health and fitness.
Speaker BGeez.
Speaker BThose glass balls.
Speaker BSo take us a little deeper, man.
Speaker BWhat, what, what's this roots and wings concept?
Speaker BA little bit?
Speaker BBecause you know, we, we were talking about this on the phone the other day and it's just such a, it's a place I've never really dove into or understood or really just taken the time to unpack intuitively.
Speaker BAs soon as I heard it, it made total sense, but it never really unpacked it before.
Speaker BSo cover that with us.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CSo this idea of roots and wings is that for all the parents on the line, you want to raise children who have roots and wings.
Speaker CAnd if you're a company owner, we can connect the dots in minute on how this also applies to your business.
Speaker CBut roots and wings.
Speaker CAnd so the idea is if you raise children that have roots, right, they know where they came from, they know what their last name means, but they don't have wings, they don't have capability, they don't have confidence, they don't know how to come overcome challenges.
Speaker CThen you end up with, you know, that 35 year old that lives in the basement that's playing Xbox, that has no plans or, you know, way to be able to get out.
Speaker CAnd on the flip side, which is actually the path that I was on, is that if you raise kids that have wings and not roots, wings means that you let them go through struggles.
Speaker CWings means that they don't get a participation trophy for everything.
Speaker CWings means that you allow them like you embrace challenges.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CThat they have competencies.
Speaker CIf you do that, you're going to have little kids that go out and become adults and they're going to be world changers.
Speaker CThey're going to add value to the world like Jim Rohn says, and they're going to do all these amazing things and they're not going to come home for Christmas and they're not going to come home for Thanksgiving and you're barely going to see them.
Speaker BYep.
Speaker CSo we want children that have roots and wings.
Speaker CYou have to have both of them.
Speaker CAnd you know, I remember going through a process that was like, what are you going to do when it comes to your legacy?
Speaker CLike, are you going to pass all your money to your kids?
Speaker CAre you going to do a living trust?
Speaker CAre you going to have it go to a charity?
Speaker CAre you going to give it all to your kids?
Speaker CAre you going to give it all away to charity?
Speaker CAnd I really struggled with it.
Speaker CI still don't know the full answer of what I want to do, but what really came down to me and it became very clear to me was that regardless of whether I give them money or not, I don't want them to have the money without having the capability, without having the values, because it literally will just make their life worse.
Speaker CAnd one of my mentors, his great grandpa had built up a series of banks that sold the Wells Fargo for a couple billion and they donated all of the money, except for, I think it was 13 million or something that got split up amongst the family.
Speaker CAnd this mentor of mine said that 13 million was the worst thing that ever happened to our family.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker CCaused the most.
Speaker BHow so what happened?
Speaker CJust.
Speaker CJust people wanting, just having entitlement, wanting the money.
Speaker CPeople, you know, waiting around until they got it.
Speaker CAnd so really focusing on this idea of it's not what we leave to our kids, it's what we leave in our kids.
Speaker COh, right.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker CWhat's the capabilities you want to leave them with?
Speaker CWhat's the thought process you want to live them with?
Speaker CBecause if I left them as $0, but they had the capability, they had all the lessons, they had the knowledge from all the books that I've ever read.
Speaker CIf they had the ability to hang around with other entrepreneurs and other people that thought the way that I think, then they could go rebuild it as many times as they want.
Speaker CAnd the problem with, like legacy planning is what we call it, the difference, Sam, between famil where their wealth gets handed down for two generations and then it's squandered.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CVersus the families that year after year after year after year, it gets better.
Speaker COur definition of legacy is that our kids and grandkids blow by us in every single way.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CThe difference between the ones that lose it all in two generations and the ones that that grow it is the people that that lose it in two generations.
Speaker CTheir parents focus so much on how do we hand the most amount of money down tax free to our kids.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CThey're focused on passing on the money.
Speaker CAnd they say things like, I'm going to buy my, you know, child a fourplex when they're two, and by the time they're 18, it's going to be paid off and they're going to have passive income.
Speaker CAnd that's a.
Speaker CThat's a great financial strategy.
Speaker CBut what is that leaving to your kids?
Speaker CWhat's that leaving in your kids?
Speaker BWow.
Speaker CSo what, you're 18 and now you have four grand a month of passive income and you just play Xbox in the basement, Right?
Speaker CWhat did you learn?
Speaker BYeah, you have no, you don't learn anything.
Speaker BYou're like, hey, here's a free ride, right?
Speaker CSo I love that spirit of it.
Speaker CI love the idea of it.
Speaker CBut go flip a house with your kid.
Speaker CGo like, show them what it means to have.
Speaker CHave that last name.
Speaker CSo that's this concept of, of roots and wings.
Speaker CWe could talk a bunch about it.
Speaker CThe, the two kind of mean sides is the root side really comes down to connection and core values.
Speaker CSo core values is what does it mean to have this family name?
Speaker CWhat does it mean to be a Wakefield?
Speaker CScott Donnell.
Speaker CHe has Faith family in Fish is.
Speaker CIs what it means to be a Donald.
Speaker CAnd the kids can yell it out, right?
Speaker CHe's got young kids that are three years old and they can say faith, family, fish.
Speaker CAnd fish is an acronym, okay?
Speaker CSo F is for fun and adventure, I is for integrity, S is for service.
Speaker CAnd what's H for?
Speaker CI don't.
Speaker CI think it's helping others or hard work.
Speaker CHard work is what H is for.
Speaker CSo that's what it means to be a Donald, right?
Speaker CSo the kids know exactly what it means.
Speaker CIt also has to do with, like, who's your inner circle?
Speaker CWho are the people that you spend time with and that you're bringing around your kids.
Speaker CSecond part of roots is connection.
Speaker CAnd you can have plaques on the wall and you can have.
Speaker CThis is what it means, you know, to have this last name.
Speaker CBut if you don't have time together as a family, you don't have connection together, you don't have roots.
Speaker CAnd we'll talk a lot about that today.
Speaker CThen on the wing side, it is two things.
Speaker COne of them is capability.
Speaker CSo do your kids have.
Speaker CThey have.
Speaker CThey built up some skills, and one of them is challenges.
Speaker CAnd so often as parents, the.
Speaker CThe thing that comes natural to us is to, to be like, oh, don't.
Speaker CI don't want my baby to be hurt.
Speaker CI don't want them to be sad.
Speaker CI don't want them to go through any challenges.
Speaker CAnd so we kind of get in front of them and we try to solve everything for them.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CThey're not getting enough playing time in sports.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CWe're out there talking to the coach rather than letting them go through the struggle, letting them go through the challenge.
Speaker CAnd that's where they're going to learn capability.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker BOh, my God, I love this so much.
Speaker BIt's like, you know, show them the video of Michael Jordan talking about all of the shots they missed and how he didn't make the make his team.
Speaker BYou know, the year before.
Speaker BHe spent the summer working so hard to get right.
Speaker BLike, oh, my gosh, this, this is hitting so heavy today.
Speaker BSo, Jimmy, tell us more about where, where we're going to camp out today because, you know, and for everybody.
Speaker BListen, I, and, and thank you for doing this because this is such a missing piece in really.
Speaker BIt's just not talked about.
Speaker BIt's not talked about in business at all.
Speaker BEspecially, you know, we just went through convention season in all the home services and the trades.
Speaker BAnd I would be willing to bet I wasn't able to attend all of the conventions, but I would be willing to wager a pretty sizable amount that nobody was on stage at the any of these conventions talking about this stuff.
Speaker BBut at the end of the day, this absolutely aligns with the close it now message of let's become better people.
Speaker BLet's raise the standard in our industry.
Speaker BBecause one of my main missions is I got so tired of hearing at these conventions, the guys at the bar talking later and the joke.
Speaker BIt's almost like a running tally.
Speaker BIt's like, how many notches in your belt of how many heart attacks have you had and how many wives have you had?
Speaker BAnd it grossed me out so much.
Speaker BAnd that's why I'm so passionate about bringing this message into this community, because we have the ability to be better people.
Speaker BWe just a lot of times don't know how to get there.
Speaker BAnd nobody's having this conversation to make us aware of it.
Speaker BSo I'm super grateful that we're doing this.
Speaker BSo take us a little further, Jimmy.
Speaker BWhere are we going next with this?
Speaker CYeah, so we're going to jump into connection before we jump there to follow up on a promise.
Speaker CI said I'd tell you how this affects a business.
Speaker CSo if you're a business owner, roots and wings, same exact concept.
Speaker CEverything we're talking today, you can literally just apply it.
Speaker CIf you, if you don't let your employees go through you know, embracing challenges and you're always jumping in, fixing the problem, they're never going to grow.
Speaker CSo you want teammates, right?
Speaker CIf you're a sales leader, same thing.
Speaker CYou want teammates that have roots and wings.
Speaker CIf you've got people that aren't growing, they're not embracing challenges, they're not, you know, going to events and listening to podcasts and reading books and, you know, you, you have, you've got like a great company culture, then people are going to stick around for, for a long time.
Speaker CBut it's the equivalent of that 35 year old in the basement.
Speaker CAnd if you are really good at developing people and you put a lot of focus into that and you've got great sales training and you bring in great sales trainers and you all the things to give, you know, your, your, your techs and your comfort advisors wings and you got the best of the best and you train them, but then they go off some other place because you don't have roots as a company.
Speaker CThey don't know what you stand for.
Speaker CYou don't have that connection, that part's missing.
Speaker CThen you're just, you're training your competition over and over and over and over again.
Speaker CSo it's this classic problem.
Speaker CAnd I remember somebody asking John Maxwell and they're like, what if we train all our people up and give them all this amazing and then they leave.
Speaker CAnd John Maxwell responds, well, what if you don't train them up and they stay?
Speaker BWhich is worse, right?
Speaker CWhich is worse, Right.
Speaker CSo it's the same thing.
Speaker CWe need both, we need roots and wings when it comes to people in our family and roots and wings when it comes to the, the business side of things.
Speaker CAnd it's a really interesting question.
Speaker CThere's a lot of talented entrepreneurs and we just.
Speaker CIf you just ask yourself a really simple question.
Speaker CWhat is working in business that I don't do at home?
Speaker COoh, like, oh, yeah, we have a quarterly meeting.
Speaker CDo you have one of those at home?
Speaker CActually, no, we don't.
Speaker CWhat's working business?
Speaker CWell, every Monday before we start, we have the week planned out.
Speaker CWe do that at home.
Speaker COh, no, actually we don't.
Speaker CAnd then flip it.
Speaker CWhat's working in family that we're not doing in the business?
Speaker CLike, oh, we have some times where we go out and we're not teaching anything, we're not learning anything.
Speaker CWe're literally just hanging out.
Speaker CWhy don't you have that in business?
Speaker CHave some nights where you just go bowling.
Speaker CHave some nights where you go just do something fun.
Speaker CAnd the.
Speaker CThe amount of time that you get to just spend asking questions.
Speaker CWhere does somebody want to go?
Speaker CI heard Sam talking with one of his coaching clients.
Speaker CHe's spending time going through, like, what.
Speaker CWhat are some places you'd like to travel to?
Speaker CWhat are some giving that you'd like to do?
Speaker CWhere are some places you'd like to go?
Speaker CAnd literally getting to know them.
Speaker CDo you do that with your staff, with your people?
Speaker CRight, so it's a.
Speaker CIt's called I learning versus T learning.
Speaker CI learning is where you're learning specifically from people in the H Vac industry.
Speaker CAnd that's it.
Speaker CT learning is where you're saying, hey, what can I take from the solar industry and apply it to H Vac?
Speaker CWhat can I take from the plumbing industry and apply to H Vac?
Speaker CWhat can I take from the online course industry and learn it?
Speaker CApply it to H Vac?
Speaker CWell, you can do the same thing with this.
Speaker CWhat can I take from family and apply it to business?
Speaker CAnd what can I take from business and apply it to family?
Speaker CAnd it's amazing how there's things that work really, really well in business and yet we don't do them at home.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CAnd vice versa.
Speaker BOh, my gosh.
Speaker BThis.
Speaker BThis makes so much sense.
Speaker BAnd.
Speaker BAnd again, my brain is literally going down the list of, no wonder that our, you know, our mornings are chaotic before school.
Speaker BAnd no wonder nobody really knows at the end of the, okay, what are we having for dinner?
Speaker BI don't know.
Speaker BWhat do you want?
Speaker BAll those things.
Speaker BAnd there's the chaos of the week that happens.
Speaker BAnd then, of course, we get to the weekend, and it's like, we've had this plan, okay, we're doing this on Saturday, and we planned it last week or two or three weeks ago.
Speaker BSo everybody's looking forward to it.
Speaker BAnd all of a sudden, discipline problems don't happen anymore.
Speaker BAll of a sudden, everybody's ready and prepared, and we have a great Saturday.
Speaker BAnd then we get back into the week and it's chaos again and discipline problems, and nobody's following the rules, but it's taking full responsibility, radical responsibility.
Speaker BIt just makes me think that, well, it's my fault, and maybe we should structure the week better and have that family board meeting, right?
Speaker C100%.
Speaker CAnd this is.
Speaker CWe'll do this, maybe another podcast.
Speaker CBut when it comes to challenges, one of the things in our household is electronics time isn't free, so we have a point system for electronics.
Speaker CAnd if you want an hour of PlayStation time, that is four points.
Speaker CIf you want an hour of iPad time.
Speaker CThat is one point.
Speaker CAnd there's a list of things that you can do to earn extra time.
Speaker CSo for every three hours you spend outside, you get some, you get some points towards electronics.
Speaker CFor every time you spend volunteering, you get some points.
Speaker CSo there's this point system.
Speaker CBut on top of that, because mornings were a problem around here as well, we said, here's a list of expectations.
Speaker CThey need to be done by 9 in the morning.
Speaker CMy kids are 10 and 14, but we did this with them when they were 10 and 6.
Speaker CAnd we said, so you need to be ready by this time.
Speaker CIt's not my responsibility to make sure you're ready.
Speaker CIt's not my responsibility to nag you.
Speaker CYou need to have all these things done by 9am and very clear definition of done if they're, they're complete or they're not.
Speaker CIf they're complete, then you can earn electronics points throughout the day.
Speaker CIf they're not done, then you can't earn time.
Speaker CSo if you spend three hours outside but you didn't have your stuff done by 9am Sorry, no electronics points earned today.
Speaker CYou also can't cash in electronics points unless your expectations were done in the morning by 9:00am wow.
Speaker CSo we're, we're taking it and flipping it.
Speaker CSo rather than I'm the parent and I have to enforce everything, it's like, no, no, no, you need to go and earn this.
Speaker CYou need to go and be the one who does it.
Speaker CAnd again, when it comes to challenges, right, it can be very difficult if it's 9:01 and everything's done.
Speaker CFor my wife to be like, okay, it's, it's fine, it's close enough.
Speaker CIt's not close enough.
Speaker CThat's late.
Speaker COne minute late is late.
Speaker CThat's late, right?
Speaker BAnd let it slide.
Speaker BBecause what would happen, it would creep, right?
Speaker CIt would creep.
Speaker CAnd, and I'm not trying to, like, be their friend.
Speaker CI'm trying first to be their coach and raise up little, you know, human beings that can add a lot of value in the world.
Speaker CAnd so it's these lessons.
Speaker CAnd it's hard sometimes to be the one to bring the lesson to pass.
Speaker CBut here's what you got to understand.
Speaker CThey're going to learn it anyways.
Speaker CYou're going to the lesson, just going to keep repeating itself until they learn it.
Speaker CAnd you can learn it when the stakes are low.
Speaker CAnd what they lose?
Speaker CElectronics time or.
Speaker CA friend of mine, his son was making some money.
Speaker CHe made 60 bucks, bought this LEGO set, and he's younger, and then he just had this meltdown.
Speaker CHe was just like.
Speaker CWas so unsure if it was the right thing or not.
Speaker CAnd it was like hours of conflict.
Speaker CAnd the mom was like, I don't know.
Speaker COh, maybe this is not the right thing to do.
Speaker CAnd we're like, listen, this isn't like this.
Speaker CYou can't.
Speaker CYou didn't cause this, and you can't avoid this.
Speaker CIt's just going to be this reaction of buyer's remorse on a $60 Lego kit or on a $60,000 car.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CThat's it.
Speaker CThey can learn it now or they can learn it later, but the later they learn it, the higher the stakes are and the more painful the lesson is.
Speaker CSo embracing those challenges, being their coach more than their caretaker, that's what we talk about when we talk about Wings.
Speaker BThis.
Speaker BThis is insanely powerful.
Speaker BAnd I'm recording this lots of different ways to.
Speaker BAnd this will be an episode that I pass to a lot of people.
Speaker BSo take us into now that we're, you know, really great.
Speaker BThank you for the great definition of roots and wings.
Speaker BLet.
Speaker BLet's land into the where we want to be for this episode, because I know we've got a plan for, like, chunking this up a little bit, because it's so much to cover.
Speaker C100%.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CSo the place I like to start is on the roots side of things.
Speaker CAnd the reason why is when I first would teach this, I would talk to a lot of men and they would be like, oh, yeah, I want to, I want to do that.
Speaker CI want to crack the whip.
Speaker CLet's have, let's start charging for electronics points, and let's start making sure the kids do everything in the morning by 9:00am and, and, and, and a lot of times they would be like, trying to put it on a girlfriend or a spouse or a partner.
Speaker CAnd that person is like, I'm already doing everything.
Speaker CYou're off working these 12, 14 hour days, and now you're just coming here with some demands, Right.
Speaker BCome in as the taskmaster and crack the whip.
Speaker BAnd everybody should follow the system, but nobody really knows what the system is.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CRules without relationship equals rebellion.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker CRules without relationship equals rebellion.
Speaker CSo if the relationship isn't there and we're like, jumping in to, like, try to throw on more rules, it's the wrong place to start.
Speaker CSo a great place to start is in connection.
Speaker CAnd connection comes down to a couple of different things.
Speaker CSo on the root side of things, it would be core values.
Speaker CWhich we talked about a little bit.
Speaker CAnd it would be connection.
Speaker CConnection.
Speaker CWhen I have coaching clients rate this.
Speaker CWe go through time, traditions and trips.
Speaker CThat's one section that we write.
Speaker CWe go through dinners, devices and dates.
Speaker CThat's another section that we write.
Speaker CAnd then we go through tlc, trauma, love, and conflict.
Speaker CDo we do conflict well as a family?
Speaker CSo those are some of the things that we.
Speaker CThat we go through.
Speaker CAnd I'll.
Speaker CI'll speak to, you know, very successful entrepreneurs, and I'll ask them.
Speaker CI'll actually do an exercise where I'll say, hey, I want you to write down what's important to you, like, what are your values?
Speaker CAnd rank them?
Speaker CAnd I'll give them five minutes, like on stage in an event, literally not speaking, and we're just playing some music and we're writing down, what are these values?
Speaker CWhat's important to you?
Speaker CAnd they'll say things like, you know, family's most important to me, and this is important to me, and that's important to me.
Speaker CAnd once that's done and they, you know, talk to their neighbor about what's important to them, I say, here's what I want you to do now.
Speaker CI want you to go and open up your calendar.
Speaker BI had a feeling this is where we were headed with it.
Speaker COpen up your calendar.
Speaker CDon't tell me what's important to me to you.
Speaker CShow me where you spend your time and where do you spend your money?
Speaker CThat's what your actual priorities are.
Speaker CAnd so if you were to open up, you know, the calendar and we say, how many business meetings do you have blocked off in your calendar?
Speaker CGreat.
Speaker CHow many dates do you have with your kids?
Speaker CHow many dates do you have with your partner?
Speaker CWhat's that number?
Speaker BThat's where the silence starts to happen, right?
Speaker CThat's where the silence happens.
Speaker CAnd like I said, when I looked at my.
Speaker CMy bookshelf and it was 150 business books to zero parenting books, I would.
Speaker CI would tell you that I wanted to be a great parent.
Speaker CThere were people that would tell me that I was a great parent.
Speaker CBut if I got really real about how much am I investing in myself, how many masterminds did I go to about family?
Speaker BProbably not.
Speaker BProbably none at that point, right?
Speaker CProbably none.
Speaker CSo it's this idea of, you know, time and having time in the calendar.
Speaker CAnd what are some of your traditions that you have as a family?
Speaker CBecause if you.
Speaker CIf you want kids to grow up with.
Speaker CWith wings that don't come back for Christmas and don't come back For Thanksgiving, it's because of this.
Speaker CThis lack of connection, this lack of time, this lack of tradition.
Speaker CSo what are some traditions that you would like to put into the calendar?
Speaker CAnd a tradition could be something as simply as a weekly rhythm.
Speaker CHey, what I do is one of my, my really good friends as a coaching client as well, does over $1 million in.
Speaker CIn profit, personally or not sales a year profit per year.
Speaker CAnd he says that him.
Speaker CAnd he's like, I don't know what traditions we have.
Speaker CAnd then I called him a couple of days later and he did answer the phone and he was like, sorry, you were calling me at bedtime.
Speaker CAnd one I just realized that we do is we always do bedtime.
Speaker CAnd my wife was like, we only have like 10 years of bedtimes.
Speaker BJimmy, you're going to make me cry on this episode.
Speaker CSo we're not going to miss him.
Speaker CAnd he's like, yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker CAnd so they just made bed, bedtime a priority.
Speaker CThere's another guy that I, I know through Scott, super successful business owner, has got to be in the hundreds of millions, if not billions.
Speaker CAnd he has 52 poker chips that he has stacked up at the beginning of the year.
Speaker CAnd he has decided that he's not going to miss more than 52 meals with his family in an entire year.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker CAnd so I remember hearing about this guy and he was planning a trip that he was like a business trip.
Speaker CI think he was speaking at it.
Speaker CAnd his flight to head out was like, left at like 8pm so he could have an early dinner, then he does his day, and then he came back for like a red eye or something like that so that he could be home for dinner the next day with his family.
Speaker CAnd a lot of times a lie that we tell of ourselves is it's got to be.
Speaker COr right, it's got to be this or that.
Speaker CIt's got to be success or.
Speaker CAnd here's somebody super successful in business and, like, finding a way to make sure that those, that those dinners actually happen.
Speaker CAnd there's a book that you and I have both read called the Family board meeting, right?
Speaker CAnd he says, you've got 18 summers with your kids.
Speaker C93% of the time that you're going to spend with your kids are going to be from the time of 0 to 18.
Speaker CEven if you have great traditions, even if you have great roots, even if you have family dinner every Sunday, 93% of the time you're going to spend with your children happen by the time they're 18.
Speaker CSo you can't miss a summer.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CSo thinking in terms of, you know, these chunks of time, what.
Speaker CWhat is this next chunk of time?
Speaker CAnd there is another book called Rigging the Game.
Speaker CAnd the author of Rigging the Game, he talks about this idea of not bigger, closer.
Speaker CWhat's the life I want to live.
Speaker CWhat's the values that are important to me?
Speaker CAnd this next decision, this next thing I'm going to do, is that going to take me closer or further from the life that I want to live?
Speaker BOh, yeah.
Speaker CRather than just always bigger, bigger, bigger.
Speaker BI love this so much.
Speaker BYou know, there was several years ago, in fact, the.
Speaker BThe.
Speaker BThis is how you and I can.
Speaker BI originally connected.
Speaker BJimmy is I.
Speaker BWhen I first moved to Austin.
Speaker BSo little super quick backstory.
Speaker BFirst moved to Austin and I came across this Facebook ad and it's.
Speaker BIt absolutely applies to what we're talking about because it was what caught me and made me completely stop in my tracks because we've always heard that if you have a.
Speaker BIf you want to be successful in business, you're.
Speaker BYou might as well be single and you're not going to have a great family life.
Speaker BAnd all of the things like we.
Speaker BWe kind of started talking about or if you want that great family life, well, get used to average when it comes to income, et cetera.
Speaker BAnd this Facebook ad that just absolutely caught me, it wasn't even the words, it was the picture.
Speaker BIt was looking down into this red convertible Ferrari.
Speaker BJust awesome picture, tops open.
Speaker BAnd the piece that.
Speaker BGotta get emotional every time I talk about it because in the back seat is this car seat, baby, car seat completely decked out with the Ferrari logo.
Speaker BNobody's in the car, just that image.
Speaker BAnd then the headline that got me was, you can have both.
Speaker BAnd so that started me on this journey to this program.
Speaker BIt was called Path of the Provider.
Speaker BAnd so it's talking about being the provider for everyone in your life and more importantly, drawing your circle around who is important in your life and then focusing on that and, and making that call.
Speaker BAnd I love that image.
Speaker BAnd I think that analogy will help people to really land.
Speaker BLand that.
Speaker BThat idea and lock it in.
Speaker BBecause now we have a visual to connect to that and it.
Speaker CAnd.
Speaker BAnd I suck at it.
Speaker BI still suck at it years later.
Speaker BI'm.
Speaker BIt's constant, constant, constant.
Speaker BAnd this is so helpful, I know to me and everybody listening.
Speaker BI hope you're getting some massive value today, because I know I am.
Speaker BAnd that's why I bring people like this on the show.
Speaker BBecause it's partly selfish because I'm constantly striving to get better.
Speaker BAnd by doing that in turn, I can help others.
Speaker BAnd man, this is such a powerful conversation.
Speaker BYeah, let's keep going, man.
Speaker BBecause I'm literally like, cannot wait for the next piece.
Speaker BAnd this is opening up my mind and making me realize how much more I need to focus on this.
Speaker BI thought that I was doing a good job, but it wasn't even close.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd I think that's such a common statement and not a common statement because there's a bunch of parents that aren't cutting it.
Speaker CIt's a common statement because we don't give ourselves a lot of slack around it.
Speaker CAnd the idea of, you know, what's things that you do in business that you don't do at home.
Speaker COne of the easy ones for me is the word systems and systems.
Speaker CSometimes people get really caught up on what it is.
Speaker CTo me, system systems is just documenting what worked well and documenting what didn't work well.
Speaker CThat's all a system is.
Speaker CAnd so it's amazing how many times as parents we do something and it worked really, really well, and then we just never do it again.
Speaker CRight, right.
Speaker CRather than if you've got, you know, some extended family coming over and.
Speaker CAnd sometimes when they come over, it's, you know, not the easiest situation.
Speaker CJust do a debrief afterwards and be like, what worked well?
Speaker CWhat didn't work well?
Speaker CIf you're into scrum, start, stop, continue.
Speaker CWhat should we start doing the next trip?
Speaker CWhat should we stop doing the next trip?
Speaker CWhat should we continue doing?
Speaker CThey work well.
Speaker CFrom this trip, you can take all of those principles and just, you know, apply them in.
Speaker CAnd a lot of times when it comes to traditions, there's stuff that we don't really think is a tradition.
Speaker CAnd it is.
Speaker CIt's something uniquely, you know, that you do in your family.
Speaker CIf I was to give everybody one family tradition to add in, it would be this.
Speaker CIt would be the family party.
Speaker CThis works whether your kids are young, whether your kids are teenagers, this still can work.
Speaker CIt's the family party.
Speaker CIn the family party, it's.
Speaker CDon't call it a meeting.
Speaker CYour kids will not go well.
Speaker CIf, if anything, that it's a meeting.
Speaker CSo the family party is really goes like this.
Speaker CYou book in a time every month.
Speaker CThe first part of the party is that you're just going to get together and you're going to do a quick check in.
Speaker CSo if you have a sales team or a business team, same sort of Idea.
Speaker CJust go around the room.
Speaker CWhat's, you know, what's a happy and a crappy, what's a win and a fail, what's a.
Speaker CWhatever you want to call it and get each one of your kids just to let you know what they're, what they're going through, where they're at.
Speaker CThen after that you do a kind of a parent update.
Speaker CAnd the parent update is just like, here's where we're at.
Speaker CIt's amazing how often we just don't fill our kids in on stuff.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CAnd if your kids know the value that you bring to the world, if they know the thing that you're doing and how it's impacting people, it, it makes it a lot easier for them to understand what's going on.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker BI love that.
Speaker BActually had, it's, it's funny you mentioned that.
Speaker BI had that conversation yesterday with two of the kid, two of my kids and one six and one is 11.
Speaker BAnd we were in the car and of course just hooked up the phone to Spotify to listen to music and stuff.
Speaker BAnd the six year old saw my picture on the podcast that came up in one of the Spotify pictures.
Speaker BThey're like, you have a song on Spotify?
Speaker BI was like, yeah, I do actually have almost 200 on Spotify.
Speaker BAnd so it opened up that conversation.
Speaker BThey had zero idea that over 30 countries listen to this podcast and have almost 200 episodes.
Speaker BAnd it's a top 2% podcast globally.
Speaker BAnd all the things that just are every day for, in the business.
Speaker BAnd the kid, my kids, my kids.
Speaker BThis is six years in and they didn't even know.
Speaker BShame on me.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CAnd we just don't know who teaches this stuff though.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CLike, how are you supposed to know that?
Speaker CBut if you spend the time and even if you, before you go travel, you say, hey, you know, daddy's gonna go and represent the Wakefields in a different city and we're going to teach them how to do this and how to do this, we're teach them how to build businesses that, where they're not bragging about how many heart attacks and you know, ex wives that they have.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CRight now there's a connection to what it is you're doing.
Speaker CSo this, this tradition, this that you should add is the family party.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CSo P stands for pulse.
Speaker CSo you're going to start it off, just check the pulse.
Speaker CWhere's everybody at?
Speaker CThen you do a pulse with, with the parents and just say, hey, here's what's going on right now.
Speaker CHey, we're really worried about grandma's health right now, so we're praying for her a lot.
Speaker COr here's what we can do to help grandma out.
Speaker CHere's what's going on in the business.
Speaker CHere's what we're focused on right now.
Speaker CSo you just kind of do a check in on the pulse.
Speaker CA is activity.
Speaker CSo you pick an activity and you go and do something fun.
Speaker CYou go play and you don't involve electronics.
Speaker CWe'll link something up in the show notes with just a whole bunch of activities that you can do in.
Speaker COne of the greatest things that you can do when it comes to family stuff like this is do the front end loaded work once, sit down and come up with 50 ideas.
Speaker CUse ChatGPT, use the Internet, whatever, cut them up, put them into a jar and then pull one out and say, here's what we're doing next month.
Speaker CAnd that way rather than just blocking the time off and then the time comes up and you have no idea what you're doing.
Speaker CYou've.
Speaker CYou've had some anticipation, right?
Speaker CThink about it like swinging.
Speaker CI heard somebody who's married for a long time, they talked about swinging from branch to branch.
Speaker CIf you have something in the calendar that you know that your kids are looking forward to, it makes it easier to get through the day to day.
Speaker CSo P is for pulse, A is for activity.
Speaker CGo do something fun.
Speaker CAnd all you're worried about is just doing something, something fun together and the fun stuff together.
Speaker CIt can be all kinds of stuff.
Speaker CLike you can have the kids decide that they want to create a play and they can do that for you.
Speaker CYou can write a song together.
Speaker CYou can, you know, go out and fill up socks with, with flour and have some dodgeball with sock flour.
Speaker CLike, there's craziest things that you can do is just go and do something together.
Speaker CSo P is for pulse, A is for activity, R is for reflect.
Speaker CTo spend a little bit of time, not to be worried at the very end of it as you're kind of cleaning up.
Speaker CJust what was your favorite part about today?
Speaker CT is time block.
Speaker CAnd so you're always going to make sure that at the end of the party, you get to pull the next activity for next month and it goes into the calendar.
Speaker CAnd you always want to have two months in the calendar.
Speaker CIf you have one month scheduled and, and you miss this month, then it's like off your calendar, your toast.
Speaker CIf you have two in the calendar and something happens and you miss one, then you know, you, you've You've got the next one already planned in there.
Speaker BSo it keeps them pulling forward.
Speaker BKind of like your.
Speaker BWhy drives you in business and life that keep that anticipation to keep them moving forward.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CYou got it.
Speaker CAnd then Y is for yearly book.
Speaker CSo this stands for party pulse, Activity, reflect, time, block.
Speaker CYearly book.
Speaker CYearly book is just.
Speaker CDoesn't have to be something fancy.
Speaker CYou can do it digitally.
Speaker CYou can buy a scrapbooking, whatever, and just write on it.
Speaker CHere's the month.
Speaker CHere's the ages of our kids.
Speaker CHere's the thing that we did for us.
Speaker CWe got a little disposable Polaroid camera.
Speaker CWe just take a photo of the family and pop it in there.
Speaker CAnd it's the.
Speaker CThe.
Speaker CI heard somebody talking about doing a journal.
Speaker CAnd they said that when they did a journal, they missed it all the time.
Speaker CAnd then they bought a journal that had the date in it.
Speaker CAnd he said that he hated having an empty page because there's a date on it.
Speaker CSo because he hated an empty day so much, he just filled it out all the time.
Speaker CSo we take that same concept of the family party, and we just write down all the months of the year into this book.
Speaker CAnd if we miss one, then there's an empty page.
Speaker CAnd I don't like that.
Speaker CAnd so it just is a way to be able to, you know, have that monthly party on the book.
Speaker CBut it's.
Speaker CIt's something where you can connect on a regular basis, where you can get a pulse on where the kids are at.
Speaker CThey can get a pulse on where you're at.
Speaker CYou can do something fun together.
Speaker CAnd again, in the spirit of this idea that.
Speaker CThat rules of that relationship equals rebellion, sometimes we're trying to rule ourselves to death.
Speaker CWe're like, well, we just need more rules.
Speaker CWe need more rules.
Speaker COh, we just need a better system.
Speaker CLike, no, you don't.
Speaker BYou just need more connection, you know, I.
Speaker BA fun story.
Speaker BSo for everybody, listen, Fun story.
Speaker BThis is literally.
Speaker BJimmy and I did not talk about my personal life before we hopped on this episode.
Speaker BNow, of course, he knows.
Speaker BKnows me fairly well, but he did not know that at the beginning of the summer we wrote out this point system chart.
Speaker BBut I 100% can see now we've approached it by the rules, not relationship.
Speaker BAnd so we had.
Speaker BWe gathered everybody together, we created this point system, had its treasure box, everybody can earn points, et cetera.
Speaker BThere was different.
Speaker BWe put a lot into it.
Speaker BYou know, level one was you get the stickers and the little things.
Speaker BLevel two is you get like, you know, Japanese Ramon soda, because that's a big deal for the 6 and 8 and, you know, 11 and 13 year olds right now.
Speaker BAnd the big one is, you know, family pizza.
Speaker BWe all going out to family pizza party or where, whatever it was.
Speaker BAnd then we had everybody get together and let's list all of the things that earn points.
Speaker BAnd it was a moderately short list.
Speaker BAnd then we had everybody contribute all of the rules that would eliminate points, even though it was their rules.
Speaker BThe second we started to enforce it, everyone lost their minds.
Speaker BAnd it just, I think we made it maybe one week, maybe two weeks that was effective.
Speaker BAnd then completely got tossed aside and nobody cared anymore.
Speaker BThey didn't care about the points.
Speaker BI don't want that.
Speaker BI just still want to do what I want to do.
Speaker BAnd so you're literally like reading my mail in this conversation.
Speaker BAnd so I tell that story, everybody, to let you know that we're all on this journey.
Speaker BIt's it.
Speaker BI don't have it figured out.
Speaker BAnd I'm learning so much from this today.
Speaker BAnd it's a.
Speaker BAgain, thank you.
Speaker BAnd man.
Speaker BSo relation rules without relationship equals rebellion.
Speaker BI literally am living that.
Speaker BAnd I can see now how to fix it, though.
Speaker CYeah, that's great.
Speaker CAnd I think that a lot of parents would go through like a coaching wheel on these different areas and consist when it's filled up, they're like, there's areas that you're just suck at and there's areas that I suck at.
Speaker CLike, I do this for a living and my wheel is not perfect by a long time.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CBut this idea of, you know, think about how long the process has been for you in H vac.
Speaker CThink about a company owner, how long it takes.
Speaker CYou know, like a quarter in a business is such a small amount of time.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CLike, they think about it like, oh, it's just, let's try to do this little thing and make this little adjustment over the quarter.
Speaker CAnd then like, in family life, we're like, it's not happening fast enough.
Speaker CAnd something that Scott says, Scott Donald says all the time is that legacy doesn't happen overnight.
Speaker CAnd he studied a hundred of the, like, the greatest families.
Speaker CAnd the definition of greatest family, by the way, is that the kids and grandkids blow past you in every way.
Speaker CThat's the definition.
Speaker CSo they're not all billionaires.
Speaker CSome of them are.
Speaker CBut the thing that they all have in common is that just every year they just get a little bit better and a little bit better and they document what works and they document what doesn't work and they get a little bit better and they make sure that they continue to, you know, to grow, you know, in those areas.
Speaker CSo, yeah, that's the.
Speaker CThat is kind of part of the.
Speaker CThe traditions part is.
Speaker CWhat are some traditions that you do?
Speaker CFamily party can be one of them.
Speaker CIt could be some little thing that you daily.
Speaker CThat you do daily, like, hey, we, you know, wrestle with the kids or we read a book, or we do bedtime or we have a little dance party in the morning.
Speaker CLike those little things, it's not the size of the thing that the kids remember, right.
Speaker CIt's those little moments that you have of connection where you're fully there, you're fully with them, your phone's on airplane mode, and you're just a hundred percent there.
Speaker CAnd the, the number one thing that I.
Speaker CWell, probably number two thing that I hear from parents, the number one thing I hear from parents is, where were you 20 years ago?
Speaker CMeaning that it's too late for me.
Speaker CIt's never too late.
Speaker BLate.
Speaker CIt's never too late.
Speaker CThe.
Speaker CThe definition that we have again is that your kids and grandkids blow up high past you in every way.
Speaker CSo it can't be too late.
Speaker CDoesn't matter if they're 2350.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CYou can still make some gains in this.
Speaker CThe number two things that I, That I get a lot is a lot of conflict over devices, a lot of electronics.
Speaker CMy kid does this, my kid does that, and we can do a whole call on that one of these days, I'm sure.
Speaker CBut.
Speaker CBut a really simple one, though, is what's the example?
Speaker CThey're being fed.
Speaker CMy kid just ignores me when I try to tell him to do something.
Speaker BLeadership starts and stops at the top.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker CSay that.
Speaker CJust say it in reverse.
Speaker CLike how.
Speaker CHow often do you walk away from the table?
Speaker CHow often do you stop a conversation mid combo?
Speaker CHow often do you.
Speaker CBecause you're on the phone or you're on a text message.
Speaker CAnd if you're like me, sometimes it's a really important one, and other times it's not.
Speaker COther times it's just a habit.
Speaker BWow, this is.
Speaker BThis is powerful.
Speaker BWould.
Speaker BIf there's room here, would you mind sharing the.
Speaker BYour beach story?
Speaker BBecause it feels like that is like such a perfect example of what we're talking about right now.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker C100.
Speaker CSo before I learned a lot of this stuff, one of the things that I was lucky enough to learn was this concept of being present and just being all in on the thing that you're doing.
Speaker CAnd so we had some friends, they came from out of town and they were staying at our house.
Speaker CAnd we live up in Canada, and we live in a place that has a good tree to people ratio, is what I say.
Speaker CLots of nature, lots of.
Speaker CLots of trees, lots of lakes.
Speaker CAnd we're going out to a lake.
Speaker CAnd these guests wanted to go to the lake every day.
Speaker CAnd I think there was two days back to back that when we were going to the lake.
Speaker CAnd so for the first day, my wife said, hey, we're going to the beach.
Speaker CAnd I was like, great, go without me.
Speaker CI'm going to get some work done.
Speaker CAnd so day number one, I didn't go to the beach.
Speaker CI stayed home and I was 100% focused.
Speaker CLike, I set an alarm on my phone every hour to check in on myself on, like, was I actually being highly productive?
Speaker CAnd I just crushed the day.
Speaker CLike, so focused in flow, got it all done.
Speaker CAnd then the next day I'm like, phone's off, airplane mode.
Speaker CGot stuff to my assistant.
Speaker CEverybody knew they needed me, just wasn't available.
Speaker CAnd so we go off to the beach.
Speaker CAnd my kids were a bit younger.
Speaker CI think they're probably around maybe 7 years old.
Speaker CAnd as we're out at the beach, we're there and I see the people that we're there with, and they're just.
Speaker CThey're at the beach, their kids are playing, and they're just glued to their phone.
Speaker CAnd a lot of times the, like, laptop lifestyle type things show somebody, like, working on a beach is the dumbest thing.
Speaker CIt's the dumbest thing.
Speaker CWhy are you even there?
Speaker CWhy are you there?
Speaker CAnd so I'm like, dude, why, like, why are they even here if they're.
Speaker CAnd.
Speaker CAnd my wife is like, it was like this all day yesterday.
Speaker CAnd they have at the time a girl that this thing was.
Speaker CWas like 4 years old old or maybe, maybe older.
Speaker CAnd she's in the water and she's.
Speaker CShe's like, look at me, dad.
Speaker CDad, dad, look at me.
Speaker CAnd he's just on his phone, head down.
Speaker CI'm looking at you, honey.
Speaker CYou're doing great.
Speaker CAnd the girl goes, daddy, you're not looking.
Speaker CI can see you.
Speaker CLook, Daddy, look.
Speaker CLook at what I'm doing.
Speaker CAnd he looks up for one second and says, do it now.
Speaker CAnd she makes eye contact with him, notices that he's looking, and she starts to redo what she was doing, and bam.
Speaker CHis head goes straight back into the phone.
Speaker BJeez.
Speaker CSo she thought that he was looking and he wasn't.
Speaker CAnd when I think about 18 summers with your kids, when I think about, what if 80 year old you could see you right now?
Speaker CAnd it's, it's one of the greatest hacks that you'll ever get.
Speaker CBecause, because with kids, man, the days are long, but the years are short, right?
Speaker CAnd sometimes it's like the day just goes, goes and goes and goes and goes and goes.
Speaker CMoms, if you're listening, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker CDads, if you're listening, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker CThe day, just go, just by the end of the day, you're just.
Speaker CBut the years are short, man.
Speaker CFacebook.
Speaker CSomething comes up and you're like, that was four years ago.
Speaker CThat was thought.
Speaker CThat was two weeks ago, right?
Speaker CAnd they grow so quickly.
Speaker CAnd so one of the greatest hacks is this idea of future wisdom transfer.
Speaker CAnd if your kid's just having a meltdown, just pause for a second and imagine that you're 70 years old and you've been given this gift that you get five minutes back today and you get to be Transported as an 80 year old back to today.
Speaker CHow would you view the situation differently?
Speaker CYour kids are fighting and punching each other.
Speaker CInstead of freaking out, you just be like, look at you, you're just being seven.
Speaker BYeah, I'm just happy to be here with you.
Speaker CJust happy to have this time.
Speaker CAnd what would you give for that time?
Speaker CAs an idiot, what would you trade for it?
Speaker CIf you had 10 million in the bank, how much would you give for it?
Speaker BAll of it.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CBut we have it every day.
Speaker CAnd we lock ourself in a room or we lock ourselves in somebody else's house where some quote is the most important thing.
Speaker CCan we beat this bid by this many dollars?
Speaker CSpend the time.
Speaker CDoesn't have to be huge amounts of time.
Speaker CThat's not the point.
Speaker CI spent an entire day not at the beach.
Speaker CDay one, day two, I was there.
Speaker CAnd that's not because I'm incredibly wise.
Speaker CThat's because I had someone that I learned from that was talking about being.
Speaker CNot being lukewarm, not being half on, half off all the time.
Speaker CThat's how we live, right?
Speaker CYou're supposed to be working and you're not.
Speaker CYou're on Facebook, scrolling.
Speaker CYou're supposed to have time off.
Speaker CYou're not.
Speaker CYou're checking text messages.
Speaker CWe're never all the way on, we're never all the way off.
Speaker CDo that with a device.
Speaker CWhat do you think happens?
Speaker CYou burn it out.
Speaker CYou need Time recharging.
Speaker CYou need time being focused.
Speaker CAnd so just.
Speaker CJust decide that I'm gonna be.
Speaker CIt's gonna be a mission of mine to make sure that the thing that I'm doing there I am.
Speaker CIf I'm with my kids, I'm going to be with my kids.
Speaker CIf I'm going to be working, I'm not going to be messing around.
Speaker CI'm going to be doing IPAs.
Speaker CI'm going to be looking at my KPIs, right?
Speaker CDo all of that stuff.
Speaker CAnd if you're listening to this and you're like, man, my boss doesn't support me, go hit your KPIs.
Speaker CI bet you'll support you.
Speaker CBet you she'll support you, right?
Speaker CBe effective with the time.
Speaker BOh, I love that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BThat's the outplay the ref, right?
Speaker BI hear that, especially in the Facebook group and I get a message is a lot of, man, I've got this manager that he's always on me and it's not the right type of leadership for me and all these kind of things.
Speaker BAnd the first question is always, what do your numbers look like?
Speaker BAre you meeting your requirements?
Speaker BAre you putting in the work it takes to earn the recognition of them listening to you?
Speaker BRight?
Speaker BIt's.
Speaker BIt's the same thing, man.
Speaker BIt's the same thing at.
Speaker BAt home with the family, though.
Speaker BThis is that relationship portion of it that, man, it.
Speaker BThis lands and this is a perfect, perfect way to land.
Speaker BThis plane is, you know, it hits squarely.
Speaker BIt's the same how we.
Speaker BHow you do anything is how you do everything.
Speaker BAnd, man, that's so many people in business have this, like, very open, transparent business life.
Speaker BAnd then the family life is in the shadows.
Speaker BYou know, all of.
Speaker BThey're going through all of this trash and then put on this different face and are two different people.
Speaker BAnd, man, that is the way to just completely obliterate someone's integrity and internal confidence and all of those different things.
Speaker BAnd, man, this is such a powerful conversation.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd the, the quote that you just said that I hope people don't gloss over is outplay the ref.
Speaker CAnd what outplay the ref means is that if you're in a game and it's any sport and you're in overtime and the ref makes a bad call and you lose the game, don't come complaining to me that the ref made a bad call, because I'm going to ask you, why were you in overtime, right?
Speaker CWhy wasn't the score a blowout?
Speaker CWhy wasn't it 27 to 3.
Speaker CSo the same person that's in the Facebook group that's like, well, my boss did this in this situation.
Speaker CAnd all they want to talk about is that situation.
Speaker CIt's complaining about the ref in overtime.
Speaker CDude, why are you in overtime?
Speaker CCrush double what you're supposed to, like, follow what Sam teaches you and go double what you're supposed to be selling.
Speaker CAnd watch how much flack you get.
Speaker CAnd watch how much space you get.
Speaker CAnd watch how much grace you get.
Speaker CAnd watch how much rope you get.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker BExtra support.
Speaker CYeah, extra support.
Speaker CAnd then, you know, same thing.
Speaker CIf that's what applies to business, then apply it to home.
Speaker CI'll play the ref.
Speaker CYou're like, well, my kid doesn't listen to me.
Speaker CWell, show me your calendar.
Speaker CWhy should they listen to you?
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CWe talk about devices.
Speaker CThere's a whole thing about, you know, devices and kids.
Speaker CAnd the thing that's changeable devices with kids right now is the access that advertisers have.
Speaker CAnd what that does is it means that they're vying for, for your kids time.
Speaker CIf you've got 50, you know, apps on your iPad for your child, every single one of those apps has a team of developers and their only job is to get your kid to spend more time on that app.
Speaker BApp, right.
Speaker CEven if it's three, that's 150 people whose full time job is to get your kid to spend more time on a device.
Speaker BWhoa.
Speaker CAnd the thing about devices is the reason that kids play, there's a number of reasons, but there's less time at school for socializing.
Speaker CIt's all just cramming schedule stuff in.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker CAnd electronics are one of the places where they're, they have autonomy, where they're not being bossed around by parents, and where they're allowed to learn by losing.
Speaker CYou can lose and you don't get any points taken away from you.
Speaker CAnd so it's a place that kids literally go to escape being told what to do all the time.
Speaker CIf you can create more environments in the home where they don't have to escape it, you can create games, you know, around the home where you're, you're doing things together and you can create connection in that way and you know, to tie it back, just outplay the ref.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker CIt's not.
Speaker CYou don't need perfect communication.
Speaker CYou need great connection.
Speaker CIf you have great connection, that will trump a lot of other problems that happen around though.
Speaker BThis has been such an incredible, incredibly valuable conversation today, and I'm sad that we're running out of time at this point, but I know that we will be doing more of this because, man, I am, I'm the poster child of everything we talked about today and incremental steps.
Speaker BYou know, I literally have a, almost a business plan.
Speaker BI'll call it, just rename it a family plan in my head right now that it's literally been writing while we're talking of the things that I want to change around here to be more in alignment with this and incorporate those same principles.
Speaker BAnd a good example is, thankfully the timing of this couldn't be any better because at the time of recording we are actually, this is Thursday.
Speaker BWe're headed Saturday for a three day camping trip for, for, for Lauren's birthday, for my partner's birthday.
Speaker BAnd we're good.
Speaker BThe goal is to come and the intention is everyone, we're leaving.
Speaker BAll the kid devices stay at home and all the adult devices get left, turned into airplane mode and left in the car.
Speaker BYou know, there's a couple things going on just health wise, you know, with my parents, I'm, you know, make sure that I once a day, is there a message, cool, not right back in the car and that's it.
Speaker BBut so the timing couldn't be any better.
Speaker BSo my intention now of course is instead of establishing all these ground rules around camping, let's.
Speaker BI'm gonna flip the script and be like, all right, here's here are all of the fun things we're going to be doing here.
Speaker BWhat things do you want to do?
Speaker BWhat do you think will be fun?
Speaker BCamping.
Speaker BLet's build connections.
Speaker BSo, man, the timing couldn't be any better for my life.
Speaker BAnd I hope that everybody listening that you take some of these principles and apply them to yours and let us know how, how it goes.
Speaker BRight?
Speaker BSo like Jimmy said, there will be some, there'll be some links in the, in the show notes and this will be an ongoing conversation.
Speaker BSo thanks for, thanks for being a guest today, man.
Speaker BAny, any parting words for everybody before we sign off here?
Speaker CYeah, the parting words that I would have.
Speaker CThis is something that is nothing new to you because we've talked about it many times, but for your, for your listeners.
Speaker COne of the things I say the most is that most people overestimate the power of goals and underestimate the power of momentum.
Speaker CWhen you see a sports team and they're down like 47 to 4 and they get a sack, they're like smashing helmets and jumping around, you're like, you know, you didn't even Score.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CYou know that it's still down 40 points.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CBut they understand momentum.
Speaker CThey know that one small win can lead to the next small win.
Speaker CCan you do the next small win?
Speaker CAnd so anytime that you're in an area where things are going really well, then you want these big, hairy, audacious goals.
Speaker CWhen you have an area of your life that is not in momentum, it can be really compelling to say, man, I'm going to change 50 things tomorrow and I'm going to write them all down right now.
Speaker CDon't do that.
Speaker CTake all the ideas, circle one of them and make it a smaller goal in a shorter time frame.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker CI'm going to block off one thing.
Speaker CI'm going to we talk about doing what's called dinner views where you invite somebody over and, and the kids all ask them some questions from a list that you pre created.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CI'm going to text somebody right now that I'm going to go into my phone right now and I'm going to block off our next family party.
Speaker CI'm going to go in and block off time to have a date with one of my kids on airplane mode.
Speaker CDo one small thing and build some momentum.
Speaker CSo how do you shorten, make, make the goal smaller and the time frame sooner?
Speaker CIf you can't do a four hour date and you can't do a big family party, that's okay.
Speaker CCould you do 30 minutes of reading a book tonight?
Speaker CDo something like that, that's small and create momentum.
Speaker CAnd as soon as you do that, do the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
Speaker CThat's how you build momentum and get yourself around other people, get yourself around this podcast, get yourself around other entrepreneurs and do it together.
Speaker CAnd that's the thing that is going to make the biggest difference for you over time.
Speaker BLove that so much.
Speaker BThanks for your wisdom and insight today.
Speaker BAnd man, this is, this has been such a good conversation for everybody.
Speaker BThis is Jimmy J's.
Speaker BHe is definitely, I would consider one of the foremost experts in this.
Speaker BWe've talked about this for a long time and such a good resource.
Speaker BSpeaking so quick little like we're gonna turn the corner here a little bit.
Speaker BI do have to make a couple of announcements and it's ironically matches what you were just saying.
Speaker BGetting around successful people, even if you don't even talk about the business or the thing that is the driver, just being around those people, the influence will raise you to their level.
Speaker BIt'll raise you closer to their level.
Speaker BSo there's two events that I want to talk about one is January 24th in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Speaker BIt is going to be at the Hook Agency.
Speaker BI am one of the keynotes along with in fact I'm closing out the event right before the sales panel.
Speaker BSo it'll be me, it'll be Joe Cressera, Jason Walker.
Speaker BFor everybody in the industry know that is also Phil Falanski who is going to put up $20 million in H vac sales this year.
Speaker BBrent Buckley who I think the last number I heard was $14 million in an annual sales and then also the GM at Lee's where Phil Falanski is and of course Tim Hook who is hosting the event or Tim Brown who's hosting the event at Hook Agency.
Speaker BSo everyone those that eventbrite ticket will be link will be in the show.
Speaker BThe catch is there's only 60 spots.
Speaker BYou cannot for a few hundred bucks get into a room with that many of top level people in such a small space.
Speaker BFor everybody who raises their hand and says if enough people show interest in this, I plan on hosting the night before a hot seat session.
Speaker BSo we're going to take applications for five people who we will solve what come with a problem as well defined as you can get it and we're going to help you solve your your business or sales problem.
Speaker BAnd so enough people raise your hand.
Speaker BThat is that's what I'm going to be hosting.
Speaker BBut the, the one day event is going to be incredible.
Speaker BSo make sure to find, get, get your ticket soon because it's over half sold out now.
Speaker BThe next thing is and this is the big one, this is the close it now sells boot camp which is going to happen at the end of April, 1st of May in Boston, Massachusetts.
Speaker BIt's going to be a three day event basically at this point close it now is becoming the, you know if you're familiar at all with Tony Robbins events, we're becoming the Tony Robbins of sales training for the home services for the trades for H Vac.
Speaker BSo this is going to be an H Vac specific training.
Speaker BHowever if you do something else there's only one little that is specific to H Vac.
Speaker BThe rest will apply to everyone.
Speaker BSo if you're an electrician, Mike Lott I'm talking looking at you if you're a plumber, if you do garage doors or irrigation or it doesn't matter if you have a conversation with a homeowner, anything that circles around home improvement, get to this event.
Speaker BThat link will also be in the show notes.
Speaker BSo finally we have that info ready.
Speaker BSo make sure to grab your ticket there as well, because I am also going to cap that room at that same number of 60 people.
Speaker BBecause more than that, you don't get the.
Speaker BThe intensity of what we're going to accomplish.
Speaker BAnd the people that come to this event will be prepared and on this trajectory that in the level of growth that you have never seen from a training before.
Speaker BSo that is the Close It Now Sells Boot Camp, which will be happening the week of the end of April, 1st of May.
Speaker BSo after two, those two announcements, you can reach us at SAM close it now.net email me directly.
Speaker BGo to the website closeit now.net you can also absolutely join the Facebook group.
Speaker BThe Close It Now Facebook group is 100% positive and we do so much training in there and it's free to join.
Speaker BSo come join the community of people like yourself who are focused on growth, focused on not only being the top salespeople, but also being someone worth buying from, including raising incredible families with roots and wings.
Speaker BSo thank you, everybody for listening.
Speaker BJimmy, you want to say adios real quick.
Speaker CAdios.
Speaker CThanks a lot, everybody.
Speaker BAll right, everybody, remember, go be someone worth buying from.
Speaker AYou've been listening to the Close it now podcast.
Speaker AOur passion is to divert headfirst into the transformative movement that's reshaping the very foundation of H Vac and home improvement and at the same time, covering fitness, nutrition, relationships and personal growth, proving that we can indeed have it all.
Speaker AWe hope you've enjoyed the show.
Speaker AIf you did, make sure to, like, rate and review.
Speaker AWe'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find the website and Close It Now.
Speaker AFind us on Instagram at thereal Close it now and on Facebook at Close It Now.
Speaker ASee you next time.