Speaker A

Welcome to Close it now, the podcast that's revolutionizing the H Vac and home improvement trades industries.

Speaker A

Get ready to dive deep into the world of heating, ventilation and air conditioning.

Speaker A

We're turning up the heat on industry standards and cooling down misconceptions.

Speaker A

And we're not just talking about fixing vents and adjusting thermostats.

Speaker A

It's about the transformative movement that's reshaping the very foundation of H Vac and home improvement.

Speaker A

We're the driving force, inspiring top performers who crave excellence not only in their professional endeavors, but also in fitness, nutrition, relationships and personal growth, proving that we can indeed have it all.

Speaker A

This is Close it now, where excellence meets excitement.

Speaker A

Let's get to work now your host, Sam Wakefield.

Speaker B

Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker B

Welcome back to Close It Now.

Speaker B

Sam Wakefield here.

Speaker B

Today I have a very special episode for you and it's actually going to be the start of incorporating a lot more of the things that we've been talking about in the, in the show up until now.

Speaker B

And this one is going to be focused on something that is insanely and insanely important to your sales numbers.

Speaker B

But you might not actually connect the dots just yet, but you will see how as soon as we get into this episode.

Speaker B

So today I'm so excited to introduce.

Speaker B

In fact, this will be the.

Speaker B

This gentleman's fourth appearance on the show.

Speaker B

If you go back and listen to the other episodes, you're going to get a massive amount of business value.

Speaker B

Today.

Speaker B

It's a little bit of a different focus though.

Speaker B

This gentleman, his name is Jimmy Jays.

Speaker B

He is an entrepreneur and he is a business coach.

Speaker B

He's absolutely been my business coach and he's an incredible family man.

Speaker B

His he.

Speaker B

In fact, when talking about the business coaching, here's the number that just always blows my mind.

Speaker B

He has been a business coach for the owner of a solar company who went from zero to now $1.1 billion in sales.

Speaker B

That's billion with a B.

Speaker B

So that is really enormous.

Speaker B

And I mean, I don't know many business coaches that can claim that type of, that type of number in their portfolio.

Speaker B

And most importantly, every bit of that has been done while they, him, him and his wife homeschool their children and keeps that incredible balance.

Speaker B

So I'm super stoked to have you on the show, Mr. Jimmy J's.

Speaker B

Thanks for being here, sir.

Speaker C

So glad to be here, man.

Speaker B

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker B

Well, let's open up this conversation a little bit, man.

Speaker B

So actually, before we do, I'm going to recap just really quickly for everybody listening.

Speaker B

Why this is important.

Speaker B

So if you go back and listen to.

Speaker B

In fact, I'll put this in the show notes there.

Speaker B

I've done several episodes on all of the components that make someone worth buying from.

Speaker B

Every tag, every show.

Speaker B

We end with be someone worth buying from.

Speaker B

What does that mean?

Speaker B

That's not just your cell skills.

Speaker B

We know that there's five other elements to your life that make a complete person.

Speaker B

Nutrition, fitness, your personal growth journey, your spiritual life, and your relationships.

Speaker B

So inside your relationships, family values.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker B

You could be single, you could have a big family, a small family.

Speaker B

It doesn't matter.

Speaker B

This is crucial to being a key component in your sales performance.

Speaker B

We know if your things are suffering at home, it's gonna hit your numbers like it or not, even if it's subconscious.

Speaker B

So that's why this is such an important, crucial conversation today, especially moving into the holidays and moving into 2025.

Speaker B

So with that context and that setup, let's get started, man.

Speaker B

Give us a little bit of a brief history of why, where you landed with this topic and with what you're doing now with this message.

Speaker C

Yeah, well, totally agree with what you just said.

Speaker C

This is something that will, you know, affect your numbers, affect your business, and whether you're somebody who has kids, doesn't have kids, plan to have kids one day, never plan to have kids.

Speaker C

If you're going to be in this space and you're going to be making sales, you're going to be, you know, connecting with homeowners that have children.

Speaker C

Your.

Speaker C

If you're running a business, you've got a bunch of, you know, people working for you that have kids.

Speaker C

And if you're a sales manager, same exact thing.

Speaker C

And the crazy thing is when we go through and we talk about a lot of the concepts we're going to talk about today, we're going to talk a little bit about roots and wings.

Speaker C

All the same concepts actually apply from a business level.

Speaker C

So if you're a business owner, literally just replace the word kids with the words, you know, employees or comfort advisors.

Speaker C

And it's incredible how the same things apply where you want a company full of people that have roots and wings.

Speaker C

So how I came upon this is I was just speaking at an event, and I met a gentleman named Scott Donnell, and he was talking about family and raising kids.

Speaker C

And I just took fast and furious notes for an hour and just, like, kept nodding my head, and I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker C

And I started learning about entrepreneurship at 21 years old and was fortunate enough to be able to Quit my job at 23 from some passive income, from some real estate.

Speaker C

And I was learning all these lessons and reading these books.

Speaker C

And so when, when my first son was born, Henry, he's 14 now, when he was born, I just started teaching him the stuff that I learned at 21.

Speaker C

And I was like, man, what a, you know, what a head start it is to be able to learn this stuff really, really early in life.

Speaker C

So that's kind of been my journey is this has been something that I've just kind of done with my own children on the side.

Speaker C

I've always thought about who are some other people that I can connect with.

Speaker C

And it's just a topic that I'm really passionate about and love being able to help entrepreneurs specifically, you know, deal with what is it like to have this business going on or have a sales career going on while still, you know, doing things at home.

Speaker C

And one of the quotes that I read was that there's no such thing as balance.

Speaker C

So if you're thinking about balances, a pie chart, it's not like that balance.

Speaker B

Everybody talks about the work life balance.

Speaker C

Right, Right.

Speaker C

It's the work life juggle.

Speaker C

It's not balance.

Speaker C

It's a juggle.

Speaker C

And there's three balls that you're juggling in the air.

Speaker C

One of them is your business or your career.

Speaker C

One of them is your health, and one of them is your family.

Speaker C

And you just need to understand that one of the balls is made out of rubber and the other two are glass.

Speaker C

Family and your health are glass.

Speaker C

You drop the ball in business, you can, you can fix it, you can pick it back up.

Speaker C

You lose your health, that's tougher.

Speaker C

You lose your family, that's tougher.

Speaker B

That is the first time I've heard that analogy.

Speaker B

And for everybody that listening, not watching, I just got misty eyed because it hit me so heavy in my chest just now because I've experienced shattering that glass ball either one before and it's awful and no fun to try to piece back together.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

And a lot of times, you know, as entrepreneurs, there's where we're reading books, we're looking at things about how do we get better at our sales.

Speaker C

And, and if I looked at my library, there's a point in time where I had probably 150 business books and zero books on parenting.

Speaker C

And I said that I wanted to be a great parent, but I had zero parenting books.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

So, yeah, just an interesting, interesting topic when it comes to, you know, raising, raising kids and what's, what's really important.

Speaker B

Wow, that's incredible.

Speaker B

And, and I can, my brain, of course, because I'm sit in the business world so much, instantly in the back of my head I'm thinking, wow, these are, it's also great leadership principles.

Speaker B

We're leading a family, we're leading a business, we're leading, leading, leading.

Speaker C

100%.

Speaker C

100% love it.

Speaker B

Well, well, thanks for that, that setup.

Speaker B

So if you didn't hear anything else today.

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker B

Just realizing that, yeah, your business is the rubber ball and woo.

Speaker B

Family and family and your relationships and, and the, the third one.

Speaker C

Your health.

Speaker B

Your health.

Speaker B

Your health.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Your health and fitness.

Speaker B

Geez.

Speaker B

Those glass balls.

Speaker B

So take us a little deeper, man.

Speaker B

What, what, what's this roots and wings concept?

Speaker B

A little bit?

Speaker B

Because you know, we, we were talking about this on the phone the other day and it's just such a, it's a place I've never really dove into or understood or really just taken the time to unpack intuitively.

Speaker B

As soon as I heard it, it made total sense, but it never really unpacked it before.

Speaker B

So cover that with us.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

So this idea of roots and wings is that for all the parents on the line, you want to raise children who have roots and wings.

Speaker C

And if you're a company owner, we can connect the dots in minute on how this also applies to your business.

Speaker C

But roots and wings.

Speaker C

And so the idea is if you raise children that have roots, right, they know where they came from, they know what their last name means, but they don't have wings, they don't have capability, they don't have confidence, they don't know how to come overcome challenges.

Speaker C

Then you end up with, you know, that 35 year old that lives in the basement that's playing Xbox, that has no plans or, you know, way to be able to get out.

Speaker C

And on the flip side, which is actually the path that I was on, is that if you raise kids that have wings and not roots, wings means that you let them go through struggles.

Speaker C

Wings means that they don't get a participation trophy for everything.

Speaker C

Wings means that you allow them like you embrace challenges.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

That they have competencies.

Speaker C

If you do that, you're going to have little kids that go out and become adults and they're going to be world changers.

Speaker C

They're going to add value to the world like Jim Rohn says, and they're going to do all these amazing things and they're not going to come home for Christmas and they're not going to come home for Thanksgiving and you're barely going to see them.

Speaker B

Yep.

Speaker C

So we want children that have roots and wings.

Speaker C

You have to have both of them.

Speaker C

And you know, I remember going through a process that was like, what are you going to do when it comes to your legacy?

Speaker C

Like, are you going to pass all your money to your kids?

Speaker C

Are you going to do a living trust?

Speaker C

Are you going to have it go to a charity?

Speaker C

Are you going to give it all to your kids?

Speaker C

Are you going to give it all away to charity?

Speaker C

And I really struggled with it.

Speaker C

I still don't know the full answer of what I want to do, but what really came down to me and it became very clear to me was that regardless of whether I give them money or not, I don't want them to have the money without having the capability, without having the values, because it literally will just make their life worse.

Speaker C

And one of my mentors, his great grandpa had built up a series of banks that sold the Wells Fargo for a couple billion and they donated all of the money, except for, I think it was 13 million or something that got split up amongst the family.

Speaker C

And this mentor of mine said that 13 million was the worst thing that ever happened to our family.

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker C

Caused the most.

Speaker B

How so what happened?

Speaker C

Just.

Speaker C

Just people wanting, just having entitlement, wanting the money.

Speaker C

People, you know, waiting around until they got it.

Speaker C

And so really focusing on this idea of it's not what we leave to our kids, it's what we leave in our kids.

Speaker C

Oh, right.

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker C

What's the capabilities you want to leave them with?

Speaker C

What's the thought process you want to live them with?

Speaker C

Because if I left them as $0, but they had the capability, they had all the lessons, they had the knowledge from all the books that I've ever read.

Speaker C

If they had the ability to hang around with other entrepreneurs and other people that thought the way that I think, then they could go rebuild it as many times as they want.

Speaker C

And the problem with, like legacy planning is what we call it, the difference, Sam, between famil where their wealth gets handed down for two generations and then it's squandered.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

Versus the families that year after year after year after year, it gets better.

Speaker C

Our definition of legacy is that our kids and grandkids blow by us in every single way.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

The difference between the ones that lose it all in two generations and the ones that that grow it is the people that that lose it in two generations.

Speaker C

Their parents focus so much on how do we hand the most amount of money down tax free to our kids.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

They're focused on passing on the money.

Speaker C

And they say things like, I'm going to buy my, you know, child a fourplex when they're two, and by the time they're 18, it's going to be paid off and they're going to have passive income.

Speaker C

And that's a.

Speaker C

That's a great financial strategy.

Speaker C

But what is that leaving to your kids?

Speaker C

What's that leaving in your kids?

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker C

So what, you're 18 and now you have four grand a month of passive income and you just play Xbox in the basement, Right?

Speaker C

What did you learn?

Speaker B

Yeah, you have no, you don't learn anything.

Speaker B

You're like, hey, here's a free ride, right?

Speaker C

So I love that spirit of it.

Speaker C

I love the idea of it.

Speaker C

But go flip a house with your kid.

Speaker C

Go like, show them what it means to have.

Speaker C

Have that last name.

Speaker C

So that's this concept of, of roots and wings.

Speaker C

We could talk a bunch about it.

Speaker C

The, the two kind of mean sides is the root side really comes down to connection and core values.

Speaker C

So core values is what does it mean to have this family name?

Speaker C

What does it mean to be a Wakefield?

Speaker C

Scott Donnell.

Speaker C

He has Faith family in Fish is.

Speaker C

Is what it means to be a Donald.

Speaker C

And the kids can yell it out, right?

Speaker C

He's got young kids that are three years old and they can say faith, family, fish.

Speaker C

And fish is an acronym, okay?

Speaker C

So F is for fun and adventure, I is for integrity, S is for service.

Speaker C

And what's H for?

Speaker C

I don't.

Speaker C

I think it's helping others or hard work.

Speaker C

Hard work is what H is for.

Speaker C

So that's what it means to be a Donald, right?

Speaker C

So the kids know exactly what it means.

Speaker C

It also has to do with, like, who's your inner circle?

Speaker C

Who are the people that you spend time with and that you're bringing around your kids.

Speaker C

Second part of roots is connection.

Speaker C

And you can have plaques on the wall and you can have.

Speaker C

This is what it means, you know, to have this last name.

Speaker C

But if you don't have time together as a family, you don't have connection together, you don't have roots.

Speaker C

And we'll talk a lot about that today.

Speaker C

Then on the wing side, it is two things.

Speaker C

One of them is capability.

Speaker C

So do your kids have.

Speaker C

They have.

Speaker C

They built up some skills, and one of them is challenges.

Speaker C

And so often as parents, the.

Speaker C

The thing that comes natural to us is to, to be like, oh, don't.

Speaker C

I don't want my baby to be hurt.

Speaker C

I don't want them to be sad.

Speaker C

I don't want them to go through any challenges.

Speaker C

And so we kind of get in front of them and we try to solve everything for them.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

They're not getting enough playing time in sports.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

We're out there talking to the coach rather than letting them go through the struggle, letting them go through the challenge.

Speaker C

And that's where they're going to learn capability.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker B

Oh, my God, I love this so much.

Speaker B

It's like, you know, show them the video of Michael Jordan talking about all of the shots they missed and how he didn't make the make his team.

Speaker B

You know, the year before.

Speaker B

He spent the summer working so hard to get right.

Speaker B

Like, oh, my gosh, this, this is hitting so heavy today.

Speaker B

So, Jimmy, tell us more about where, where we're going to camp out today because, you know, and for everybody.

Speaker B

Listen, I, and, and thank you for doing this because this is such a missing piece in really.

Speaker B

It's just not talked about.

Speaker B

It's not talked about in business at all.

Speaker B

Especially, you know, we just went through convention season in all the home services and the trades.

Speaker B

And I would be willing to bet I wasn't able to attend all of the conventions, but I would be willing to wager a pretty sizable amount that nobody was on stage at the any of these conventions talking about this stuff.

Speaker B

But at the end of the day, this absolutely aligns with the close it now message of let's become better people.

Speaker B

Let's raise the standard in our industry.

Speaker B

Because one of my main missions is I got so tired of hearing at these conventions, the guys at the bar talking later and the joke.

Speaker B

It's almost like a running tally.

Speaker B

It's like, how many notches in your belt of how many heart attacks have you had and how many wives have you had?

Speaker B

And it grossed me out so much.

Speaker B

And that's why I'm so passionate about bringing this message into this community, because we have the ability to be better people.

Speaker B

We just a lot of times don't know how to get there.

Speaker B

And nobody's having this conversation to make us aware of it.

Speaker B

So I'm super grateful that we're doing this.

Speaker B

So take us a little further, Jimmy.

Speaker B

Where are we going next with this?

Speaker C

Yeah, so we're going to jump into connection before we jump there to follow up on a promise.

Speaker C

I said I'd tell you how this affects a business.

Speaker C

So if you're a business owner, roots and wings, same exact concept.

Speaker C

Everything we're talking today, you can literally just apply it.

Speaker C

If you, if you don't let your employees go through you know, embracing challenges and you're always jumping in, fixing the problem, they're never going to grow.

Speaker C

So you want teammates, right?

Speaker C

If you're a sales leader, same thing.

Speaker C

You want teammates that have roots and wings.

Speaker C

If you've got people that aren't growing, they're not embracing challenges, they're not, you know, going to events and listening to podcasts and reading books and, you know, you, you have, you've got like a great company culture, then people are going to stick around for, for a long time.

Speaker C

But it's the equivalent of that 35 year old in the basement.

Speaker C

And if you are really good at developing people and you put a lot of focus into that and you've got great sales training and you bring in great sales trainers and you all the things to give, you know, your, your, your techs and your comfort advisors wings and you got the best of the best and you train them, but then they go off some other place because you don't have roots as a company.

Speaker C

They don't know what you stand for.

Speaker C

You don't have that connection, that part's missing.

Speaker C

Then you're just, you're training your competition over and over and over and over again.

Speaker C

So it's this classic problem.

Speaker C

And I remember somebody asking John Maxwell and they're like, what if we train all our people up and give them all this amazing and then they leave.

Speaker C

And John Maxwell responds, well, what if you don't train them up and they stay?

Speaker B

Which is worse, right?

Speaker C

Which is worse, Right.

Speaker C

So it's the same thing.

Speaker C

We need both, we need roots and wings when it comes to people in our family and roots and wings when it comes to the, the business side of things.

Speaker C

And it's a really interesting question.

Speaker C

There's a lot of talented entrepreneurs and we just.

Speaker C

If you just ask yourself a really simple question.

Speaker C

What is working in business that I don't do at home?

Speaker C

Ooh, like, oh, yeah, we have a quarterly meeting.

Speaker C

Do you have one of those at home?

Speaker C

Actually, no, we don't.

Speaker C

What's working business?

Speaker C

Well, every Monday before we start, we have the week planned out.

Speaker C

We do that at home.

Speaker C

Oh, no, actually we don't.

Speaker C

And then flip it.

Speaker C

What's working in family that we're not doing in the business?

Speaker C

Like, oh, we have some times where we go out and we're not teaching anything, we're not learning anything.

Speaker C

We're literally just hanging out.

Speaker C

Why don't you have that in business?

Speaker C

Have some nights where you just go bowling.

Speaker C

Have some nights where you go just do something fun.

Speaker C

And the.

Speaker C

The amount of time that you get to just spend asking questions.

Speaker C

Where does somebody want to go?

Speaker C

I heard Sam talking with one of his coaching clients.

Speaker C

He's spending time going through, like, what.

Speaker C

What are some places you'd like to travel to?

Speaker C

What are some giving that you'd like to do?

Speaker C

Where are some places you'd like to go?

Speaker C

And literally getting to know them.

Speaker C

Do you do that with your staff, with your people?

Speaker C

Right, so it's a.

Speaker C

It's called I learning versus T learning.

Speaker C

I learning is where you're learning specifically from people in the H Vac industry.

Speaker C

And that's it.

Speaker C

T learning is where you're saying, hey, what can I take from the solar industry and apply it to H Vac?

Speaker C

What can I take from the plumbing industry and apply to H Vac?

Speaker C

What can I take from the online course industry and learn it?

Speaker C

Apply it to H Vac?

Speaker C

Well, you can do the same thing with this.

Speaker C

What can I take from family and apply it to business?

Speaker C

And what can I take from business and apply it to family?

Speaker C

And it's amazing how there's things that work really, really well in business and yet we don't do them at home.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

And vice versa.

Speaker B

Oh, my gosh.

Speaker B

This.

Speaker B

This makes so much sense.

Speaker B

And.

Speaker B

And again, my brain is literally going down the list of, no wonder that our, you know, our mornings are chaotic before school.

Speaker B

And no wonder nobody really knows at the end of the, okay, what are we having for dinner?

Speaker B

I don't know.

Speaker B

What do you want?

Speaker B

All those things.

Speaker B

And there's the chaos of the week that happens.

Speaker B

And then, of course, we get to the weekend, and it's like, we've had this plan, okay, we're doing this on Saturday, and we planned it last week or two or three weeks ago.

Speaker B

So everybody's looking forward to it.

Speaker B

And all of a sudden, discipline problems don't happen anymore.

Speaker B

All of a sudden, everybody's ready and prepared, and we have a great Saturday.

Speaker B

And then we get back into the week and it's chaos again and discipline problems, and nobody's following the rules, but it's taking full responsibility, radical responsibility.

Speaker B

It just makes me think that, well, it's my fault, and maybe we should structure the week better and have that family board meeting, right?

Speaker C

100%.

Speaker C

And this is.

Speaker C

We'll do this, maybe another podcast.

Speaker C

But when it comes to challenges, one of the things in our household is electronics time isn't free, so we have a point system for electronics.

Speaker C

And if you want an hour of PlayStation time, that is four points.

Speaker C

If you want an hour of iPad time.

Speaker C

That is one point.

Speaker C

And there's a list of things that you can do to earn extra time.

Speaker C

So for every three hours you spend outside, you get some, you get some points towards electronics.

Speaker C

For every time you spend volunteering, you get some points.

Speaker C

So there's this point system.

Speaker C

But on top of that, because mornings were a problem around here as well, we said, here's a list of expectations.

Speaker C

They need to be done by 9 in the morning.

Speaker C

My kids are 10 and 14, but we did this with them when they were 10 and 6.

Speaker C

And we said, so you need to be ready by this time.

Speaker C

It's not my responsibility to make sure you're ready.

Speaker C

It's not my responsibility to nag you.

Speaker C

You need to have all these things done by 9am and very clear definition of done if they're, they're complete or they're not.

Speaker C

If they're complete, then you can earn electronics points throughout the day.

Speaker C

If they're not done, then you can't earn time.

Speaker C

So if you spend three hours outside but you didn't have your stuff done by 9am Sorry, no electronics points earned today.

Speaker C

You also can't cash in electronics points unless your expectations were done in the morning by 9:00am wow.

Speaker C

So we're, we're taking it and flipping it.

Speaker C

So rather than I'm the parent and I have to enforce everything, it's like, no, no, no, you need to go and earn this.

Speaker C

You need to go and be the one who does it.

Speaker C

And again, when it comes to challenges, right, it can be very difficult if it's 9:01 and everything's done.

Speaker C

For my wife to be like, okay, it's, it's fine, it's close enough.

Speaker C

It's not close enough.

Speaker C

That's late.

Speaker C

One minute late is late.

Speaker C

That's late, right?

Speaker B

And let it slide.

Speaker B

Because what would happen, it would creep, right?

Speaker C

It would creep.

Speaker C

And, and I'm not trying to, like, be their friend.

Speaker C

I'm trying first to be their coach and raise up little, you know, human beings that can add a lot of value in the world.

Speaker C

And so it's these lessons.

Speaker C

And it's hard sometimes to be the one to bring the lesson to pass.

Speaker C

But here's what you got to understand.

Speaker C

They're going to learn it anyways.

Speaker C

You're going to the lesson, just going to keep repeating itself until they learn it.

Speaker C

And you can learn it when the stakes are low.

Speaker C

And what they lose?

Speaker C

Electronics time or.

Speaker C

A friend of mine, his son was making some money.

Speaker C

He made 60 bucks, bought this LEGO set, and he's younger, and then he just had this meltdown.

Speaker C

He was just like.

Speaker C

Was so unsure if it was the right thing or not.

Speaker C

And it was like hours of conflict.

Speaker C

And the mom was like, I don't know.

Speaker C

Oh, maybe this is not the right thing to do.

Speaker C

And we're like, listen, this isn't like this.

Speaker C

You can't.

Speaker C

You didn't cause this, and you can't avoid this.

Speaker C

It's just going to be this reaction of buyer's remorse on a $60 Lego kit or on a $60,000 car.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

That's it.

Speaker C

They can learn it now or they can learn it later, but the later they learn it, the higher the stakes are and the more painful the lesson is.

Speaker C

So embracing those challenges, being their coach more than their caretaker, that's what we talk about when we talk about Wings.

Speaker B

This.

Speaker B

This is insanely powerful.

Speaker B

And I'm recording this lots of different ways to.

Speaker B

And this will be an episode that I pass to a lot of people.

Speaker B

So take us into now that we're, you know, really great.

Speaker B

Thank you for the great definition of roots and wings.

Speaker B

Let.

Speaker B

Let's land into the where we want to be for this episode, because I know we've got a plan for, like, chunking this up a little bit, because it's so much to cover.

Speaker C

100%.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

So the place I like to start is on the roots side of things.

Speaker C

And the reason why is when I first would teach this, I would talk to a lot of men and they would be like, oh, yeah, I want to, I want to do that.

Speaker C

I want to crack the whip.

Speaker C

Let's have, let's start charging for electronics points, and let's start making sure the kids do everything in the morning by 9:00am and, and, and, and a lot of times they would be like, trying to put it on a girlfriend or a spouse or a partner.

Speaker C

And that person is like, I'm already doing everything.

Speaker C

You're off working these 12, 14 hour days, and now you're just coming here with some demands, Right.

Speaker B

Come in as the taskmaster and crack the whip.

Speaker B

And everybody should follow the system, but nobody really knows what the system is.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

Rules without relationship equals rebellion.

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker C

Rules without relationship equals rebellion.

Speaker C

So if the relationship isn't there and we're like, jumping in to, like, try to throw on more rules, it's the wrong place to start.

Speaker C

So a great place to start is in connection.

Speaker C

And connection comes down to a couple of different things.

Speaker C

So on the root side of things, it would be core values.

Speaker C

Which we talked about a little bit.

Speaker C

And it would be connection.

Speaker C

Connection.

Speaker C

When I have coaching clients rate this.

Speaker C

We go through time, traditions and trips.

Speaker C

That's one section that we write.

Speaker C

We go through dinners, devices and dates.

Speaker C

That's another section that we write.

Speaker C

And then we go through tlc, trauma, love, and conflict.

Speaker C

Do we do conflict well as a family?

Speaker C

So those are some of the things that we.

Speaker C

That we go through.

Speaker C

And I'll.

Speaker C

I'll speak to, you know, very successful entrepreneurs, and I'll ask them.

Speaker C

I'll actually do an exercise where I'll say, hey, I want you to write down what's important to you, like, what are your values?

Speaker C

And rank them?

Speaker C

And I'll give them five minutes, like on stage in an event, literally not speaking, and we're just playing some music and we're writing down, what are these values?

Speaker C

What's important to you?

Speaker C

And they'll say things like, you know, family's most important to me, and this is important to me, and that's important to me.

Speaker C

And once that's done and they, you know, talk to their neighbor about what's important to them, I say, here's what I want you to do now.

Speaker C

I want you to go and open up your calendar.

Speaker B

I had a feeling this is where we were headed with it.

Speaker C

Open up your calendar.

Speaker C

Don't tell me what's important to me to you.

Speaker C

Show me where you spend your time and where do you spend your money?

Speaker C

That's what your actual priorities are.

Speaker C

And so if you were to open up, you know, the calendar and we say, how many business meetings do you have blocked off in your calendar?

Speaker C

Great.

Speaker C

How many dates do you have with your kids?

Speaker C

How many dates do you have with your partner?

Speaker C

What's that number?

Speaker B

That's where the silence starts to happen, right?

Speaker C

That's where the silence happens.

Speaker C

And like I said, when I looked at my.

Speaker C

My bookshelf and it was 150 business books to zero parenting books, I would.

Speaker C

I would tell you that I wanted to be a great parent.

Speaker C

There were people that would tell me that I was a great parent.

Speaker C

But if I got really real about how much am I investing in myself, how many masterminds did I go to about family?

Speaker B

Probably not.

Speaker B

Probably none at that point, right?

Speaker C

Probably none.

Speaker C

So it's this idea of, you know, time and having time in the calendar.

Speaker C

And what are some of your traditions that you have as a family?

Speaker C

Because if you.

Speaker C

If you want kids to grow up with.

Speaker C

With wings that don't come back for Christmas and don't come back For Thanksgiving, it's because of this.

Speaker C

This lack of connection, this lack of time, this lack of tradition.

Speaker C

So what are some traditions that you would like to put into the calendar?

Speaker C

And a tradition could be something as simply as a weekly rhythm.

Speaker C

Hey, what I do is one of my, my really good friends as a coaching client as well, does over $1 million in.

Speaker C

In profit, personally or not sales a year profit per year.

Speaker C

And he says that him.

Speaker C

And he's like, I don't know what traditions we have.

Speaker C

And then I called him a couple of days later and he did answer the phone and he was like, sorry, you were calling me at bedtime.

Speaker C

And one I just realized that we do is we always do bedtime.

Speaker C

And my wife was like, we only have like 10 years of bedtimes.

Speaker B

Jimmy, you're going to make me cry on this episode.

Speaker C

So we're not going to miss him.

Speaker C

And he's like, yeah, I totally agree.

Speaker C

And so they just made bed, bedtime a priority.

Speaker C

There's another guy that I, I know through Scott, super successful business owner, has got to be in the hundreds of millions, if not billions.

Speaker C

And he has 52 poker chips that he has stacked up at the beginning of the year.

Speaker C

And he has decided that he's not going to miss more than 52 meals with his family in an entire year.

Speaker B

Wow.

Speaker C

And so I remember hearing about this guy and he was planning a trip that he was like a business trip.

Speaker C

I think he was speaking at it.

Speaker C

And his flight to head out was like, left at like 8pm so he could have an early dinner, then he does his day, and then he came back for like a red eye or something like that so that he could be home for dinner the next day with his family.

Speaker C

And a lot of times a lie that we tell of ourselves is it's got to be.

Speaker C

Or right, it's got to be this or that.

Speaker C

It's got to be success or.

Speaker C

And here's somebody super successful in business and, like, finding a way to make sure that those, that those dinners actually happen.

Speaker C

And there's a book that you and I have both read called the Family board meeting, right?

Speaker C

And he says, you've got 18 summers with your kids.

Speaker C

93% of the time that you're going to spend with your kids are going to be from the time of 0 to 18.

Speaker C

Even if you have great traditions, even if you have great roots, even if you have family dinner every Sunday, 93% of the time you're going to spend with your children happen by the time they're 18.

Speaker C

So you can't miss a summer.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker C

So thinking in terms of, you know, these chunks of time, what.

Speaker C

What is this next chunk of time?

Speaker C

And there is another book called Rigging the Game.

Speaker C

And the author of Rigging the Game, he talks about this idea of not bigger, closer.

Speaker C

What's the life I want to live.

Speaker C

What's the values that are important to me?

Speaker C

And this next decision, this next thing I'm going to do, is that going to take me closer or further from the life that I want to live?

Speaker B

Oh, yeah.

Speaker C

Rather than just always bigger, bigger, bigger.

Speaker B

I love this so much.

Speaker B

You know, there was several years ago, in fact, the.

Speaker B

The.

Speaker B

This is how you and I can.

Speaker B

I originally connected.

Speaker B

Jimmy is I.

Speaker B

When I first moved to Austin.

Speaker B

So little super quick backstory.

Speaker B

First moved to Austin and I came across this Facebook ad and it's.

Speaker B

It absolutely applies to what we're talking about because it was what caught me and made me completely stop in my tracks because we've always heard that if you have a.

Speaker B

If you want to be successful in business, you're.

Speaker B

You might as well be single and you're not going to have a great family life.

Speaker B

And all of the things like we.

Speaker B

We kind of started talking about or if you want that great family life, well, get used to average when it comes to income, et cetera.

Speaker B

And this Facebook ad that just absolutely caught me, it wasn't even the words, it was the picture.

Speaker B

It was looking down into this red convertible Ferrari.

Speaker B

Just awesome picture, tops open.

Speaker B

And the piece that.

Speaker B

Gotta get emotional every time I talk about it because in the back seat is this car seat, baby, car seat completely decked out with the Ferrari logo.

Speaker B

Nobody's in the car, just that image.

Speaker B

And then the headline that got me was, you can have both.

Speaker B

And so that started me on this journey to this program.

Speaker B

It was called Path of the Provider.

Speaker B

And so it's talking about being the provider for everyone in your life and more importantly, drawing your circle around who is important in your life and then focusing on that and, and making that call.

Speaker B

And I love that image.

Speaker B

And I think that analogy will help people to really land.

Speaker B

Land that.

Speaker B

That idea and lock it in.

Speaker B

Because now we have a visual to connect to that and it.

Speaker C

And.

Speaker B

And I suck at it.

Speaker B

I still suck at it years later.

Speaker B

I'm.

Speaker B

It's constant, constant, constant.

Speaker B

And this is so helpful, I know to me and everybody listening.

Speaker B

I hope you're getting some massive value today, because I know I am.

Speaker B

And that's why I bring people like this on the show.

Speaker B

Because it's partly selfish because I'm constantly striving to get better.

Speaker B

And by doing that in turn, I can help others.

Speaker B

And man, this is such a powerful conversation.

Speaker B

Yeah, let's keep going, man.

Speaker B

Because I'm literally like, cannot wait for the next piece.

Speaker B

And this is opening up my mind and making me realize how much more I need to focus on this.

Speaker B

I thought that I was doing a good job, but it wasn't even close.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

And I think that's such a common statement and not a common statement because there's a bunch of parents that aren't cutting it.

Speaker C

It's a common statement because we don't give ourselves a lot of slack around it.

Speaker C

And the idea of, you know, what's things that you do in business that you don't do at home.

Speaker C

One of the easy ones for me is the word systems and systems.

Speaker C

Sometimes people get really caught up on what it is.

Speaker C

To me, system systems is just documenting what worked well and documenting what didn't work well.

Speaker C

That's all a system is.

Speaker C

And so it's amazing how many times as parents we do something and it worked really, really well, and then we just never do it again.

Speaker C

Right, right.

Speaker C

Rather than if you've got, you know, some extended family coming over and.

Speaker C

And sometimes when they come over, it's, you know, not the easiest situation.

Speaker C

Just do a debrief afterwards and be like, what worked well?

Speaker C

What didn't work well?

Speaker C

If you're into scrum, start, stop, continue.

Speaker C

What should we start doing the next trip?

Speaker C

What should we stop doing the next trip?

Speaker C

What should we continue doing?

Speaker C

They work well.

Speaker C

From this trip, you can take all of those principles and just, you know, apply them in.

Speaker C

And a lot of times when it comes to traditions, there's stuff that we don't really think is a tradition.

Speaker C

And it is.

Speaker C

It's something uniquely, you know, that you do in your family.

Speaker C

If I was to give everybody one family tradition to add in, it would be this.

Speaker C

It would be the family party.

Speaker C

This works whether your kids are young, whether your kids are teenagers, this still can work.

Speaker C

It's the family party.

Speaker C

In the family party, it's.

Speaker C

Don't call it a meeting.

Speaker C

Your kids will not go well.

Speaker C

If, if anything, that it's a meeting.

Speaker C

So the family party is really goes like this.

Speaker C

You book in a time every month.

Speaker C

The first part of the party is that you're just going to get together and you're going to do a quick check in.

Speaker C

So if you have a sales team or a business team, same sort of Idea.

Speaker C

Just go around the room.

Speaker C

What's, you know, what's a happy and a crappy, what's a win and a fail, what's a.

Speaker C

Whatever you want to call it and get each one of your kids just to let you know what they're, what they're going through, where they're at.

Speaker C

Then after that you do a kind of a parent update.

Speaker C

And the parent update is just like, here's where we're at.

Speaker C

It's amazing how often we just don't fill our kids in on stuff.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker C

And if your kids know the value that you bring to the world, if they know the thing that you're doing and how it's impacting people, it, it makes it a lot easier for them to understand what's going on.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker B

I love that.

Speaker B

Actually had, it's, it's funny you mentioned that.

Speaker B

I had that conversation yesterday with two of the kid, two of my kids and one six and one is 11.

Speaker B

And we were in the car and of course just hooked up the phone to Spotify to listen to music and stuff.

Speaker B

And the six year old saw my picture on the podcast that came up in one of the Spotify pictures.

Speaker B

They're like, you have a song on Spotify?

Speaker B

I was like, yeah, I do actually have almost 200 on Spotify.

Speaker B

And so it opened up that conversation.

Speaker B

They had zero idea that over 30 countries listen to this podcast and have almost 200 episodes.

Speaker B

And it's a top 2% podcast globally.

Speaker B

And all the things that just are every day for, in the business.

Speaker B

And the kid, my kids, my kids.

Speaker B

This is six years in and they didn't even know.

Speaker B

Shame on me.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

And we just don't know who teaches this stuff though.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

Like, how are you supposed to know that?

Speaker C

But if you spend the time and even if you, before you go travel, you say, hey, you know, daddy's gonna go and represent the Wakefields in a different city and we're going to teach them how to do this and how to do this, we're teach them how to build businesses that, where they're not bragging about how many heart attacks and you know, ex wives that they have.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

Right now there's a connection to what it is you're doing.

Speaker C

So this, this tradition, this that you should add is the family party.

Speaker C

Okay.

Speaker C

So P stands for pulse.

Speaker C

So you're going to start it off, just check the pulse.

Speaker C

Where's everybody at?

Speaker C

Then you do a pulse with, with the parents and just say, hey, here's what's going on right now.

Speaker C

Hey, we're really worried about grandma's health right now, so we're praying for her a lot.

Speaker C

Or here's what we can do to help grandma out.

Speaker C

Here's what's going on in the business.

Speaker C

Here's what we're focused on right now.

Speaker C

So you just kind of do a check in on the pulse.

Speaker C

A is activity.

Speaker C

So you pick an activity and you go and do something fun.

Speaker C

You go play and you don't involve electronics.

Speaker C

We'll link something up in the show notes with just a whole bunch of activities that you can do in.

Speaker C

One of the greatest things that you can do when it comes to family stuff like this is do the front end loaded work once, sit down and come up with 50 ideas.

Speaker C

Use ChatGPT, use the Internet, whatever, cut them up, put them into a jar and then pull one out and say, here's what we're doing next month.

Speaker C

And that way rather than just blocking the time off and then the time comes up and you have no idea what you're doing.

Speaker C

You've.

Speaker C

You've had some anticipation, right?

Speaker C

Think about it like swinging.

Speaker C

I heard somebody who's married for a long time, they talked about swinging from branch to branch.

Speaker C

If you have something in the calendar that you know that your kids are looking forward to, it makes it easier to get through the day to day.

Speaker C

So P is for pulse, A is for activity.

Speaker C

Go do something fun.

Speaker C

And all you're worried about is just doing something, something fun together and the fun stuff together.

Speaker C

It can be all kinds of stuff.

Speaker C

Like you can have the kids decide that they want to create a play and they can do that for you.

Speaker C

You can write a song together.

Speaker C

You can, you know, go out and fill up socks with, with flour and have some dodgeball with sock flour.

Speaker C

Like, there's craziest things that you can do is just go and do something together.

Speaker C

So P is for pulse, A is for activity, R is for reflect.

Speaker C

To spend a little bit of time, not to be worried at the very end of it as you're kind of cleaning up.

Speaker C

Just what was your favorite part about today?

Speaker C

T is time block.

Speaker C

And so you're always going to make sure that at the end of the party, you get to pull the next activity for next month and it goes into the calendar.

Speaker C

And you always want to have two months in the calendar.

Speaker C

If you have one month scheduled and, and you miss this month, then it's like off your calendar, your toast.

Speaker C

If you have two in the calendar and something happens and you miss one, then you know, you, you've You've got the next one already planned in there.

Speaker B

So it keeps them pulling forward.

Speaker B

Kind of like your.

Speaker B

Why drives you in business and life that keep that anticipation to keep them moving forward.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

You got it.

Speaker C

And then Y is for yearly book.

Speaker C

So this stands for party pulse, Activity, reflect, time, block.

Speaker C

Yearly book.

Speaker C

Yearly book is just.

Speaker C

Doesn't have to be something fancy.

Speaker C

You can do it digitally.

Speaker C

You can buy a scrapbooking, whatever, and just write on it.

Speaker C

Here's the month.

Speaker C

Here's the ages of our kids.

Speaker C

Here's the thing that we did for us.

Speaker C

We got a little disposable Polaroid camera.

Speaker C

We just take a photo of the family and pop it in there.

Speaker C

And it's the.

Speaker C

The.

Speaker C

I heard somebody talking about doing a journal.

Speaker C

And they said that when they did a journal, they missed it all the time.

Speaker C

And then they bought a journal that had the date in it.

Speaker C

And he said that he hated having an empty page because there's a date on it.

Speaker C

So because he hated an empty day so much, he just filled it out all the time.

Speaker C

So we take that same concept of the family party, and we just write down all the months of the year into this book.

Speaker C

And if we miss one, then there's an empty page.

Speaker C

And I don't like that.

Speaker C

And so it just is a way to be able to, you know, have that monthly party on the book.

Speaker C

But it's.

Speaker C

It's something where you can connect on a regular basis, where you can get a pulse on where the kids are at.

Speaker C

They can get a pulse on where you're at.

Speaker C

You can do something fun together.

Speaker C

And again, in the spirit of this idea that.

Speaker C

That rules of that relationship equals rebellion, sometimes we're trying to rule ourselves to death.

Speaker C

We're like, well, we just need more rules.

Speaker C

We need more rules.

Speaker C

Oh, we just need a better system.

Speaker C

Like, no, you don't.

Speaker B

You just need more connection, you know, I.

Speaker B

A fun story.

Speaker B

So for everybody, listen, Fun story.

Speaker B

This is literally.

Speaker B

Jimmy and I did not talk about my personal life before we hopped on this episode.

Speaker B

Now, of course, he knows.

Speaker B

Knows me fairly well, but he did not know that at the beginning of the summer we wrote out this point system chart.

Speaker B

But I 100% can see now we've approached it by the rules, not relationship.

Speaker B

And so we had.

Speaker B

We gathered everybody together, we created this point system, had its treasure box, everybody can earn points, et cetera.

Speaker B

There was different.

Speaker B

We put a lot into it.

Speaker B

You know, level one was you get the stickers and the little things.

Speaker B

Level two is you get like, you know, Japanese Ramon soda, because that's a big deal for the 6 and 8 and, you know, 11 and 13 year olds right now.

Speaker B

And the big one is, you know, family pizza.

Speaker B

We all going out to family pizza party or where, whatever it was.

Speaker B

And then we had everybody get together and let's list all of the things that earn points.

Speaker B

And it was a moderately short list.

Speaker B

And then we had everybody contribute all of the rules that would eliminate points, even though it was their rules.

Speaker B

The second we started to enforce it, everyone lost their minds.

Speaker B

And it just, I think we made it maybe one week, maybe two weeks that was effective.

Speaker B

And then completely got tossed aside and nobody cared anymore.

Speaker B

They didn't care about the points.

Speaker B

I don't want that.

Speaker B

I just still want to do what I want to do.

Speaker B

And so you're literally like reading my mail in this conversation.

Speaker B

And so I tell that story, everybody, to let you know that we're all on this journey.

Speaker B

It's it.

Speaker B

I don't have it figured out.

Speaker B

And I'm learning so much from this today.

Speaker B

And it's a.

Speaker B

Again, thank you.

Speaker B

And man.

Speaker B

So relation rules without relationship equals rebellion.

Speaker B

I literally am living that.

Speaker B

And I can see now how to fix it, though.

Speaker C

Yeah, that's great.

Speaker C

And I think that a lot of parents would go through like a coaching wheel on these different areas and consist when it's filled up, they're like, there's areas that you're just suck at and there's areas that I suck at.

Speaker C

Like, I do this for a living and my wheel is not perfect by a long time.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker C

But this idea of, you know, think about how long the process has been for you in H vac.

Speaker C

Think about a company owner, how long it takes.

Speaker C

You know, like a quarter in a business is such a small amount of time.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

Like, they think about it like, oh, it's just, let's try to do this little thing and make this little adjustment over the quarter.

Speaker C

And then like, in family life, we're like, it's not happening fast enough.

Speaker C

And something that Scott says, Scott Donald says all the time is that legacy doesn't happen overnight.

Speaker C

And he studied a hundred of the, like, the greatest families.

Speaker C

And the definition of greatest family, by the way, is that the kids and grandkids blow past you in every way.

Speaker C

That's the definition.

Speaker C

So they're not all billionaires.

Speaker C

Some of them are.

Speaker C

But the thing that they all have in common is that just every year they just get a little bit better and a little bit better and they document what works and they document what doesn't work and they get a little bit better and they make sure that they continue to, you know, to grow, you know, in those areas.

Speaker C

So, yeah, that's the.

Speaker C

That is kind of part of the.

Speaker C

The traditions part is.

Speaker C

What are some traditions that you do?

Speaker C

Family party can be one of them.

Speaker C

It could be some little thing that you daily.

Speaker C

That you do daily, like, hey, we, you know, wrestle with the kids or we read a book, or we do bedtime or we have a little dance party in the morning.

Speaker C

Like those little things, it's not the size of the thing that the kids remember, right.

Speaker C

It's those little moments that you have of connection where you're fully there, you're fully with them, your phone's on airplane mode, and you're just a hundred percent there.

Speaker C

And the, the number one thing that I.

Speaker C

Well, probably number two thing that I hear from parents, the number one thing I hear from parents is, where were you 20 years ago?

Speaker C

Meaning that it's too late for me.

Speaker C

It's never too late.

Speaker B

Late.

Speaker C

It's never too late.

Speaker C

The.

Speaker C

The definition that we have again is that your kids and grandkids blow up high past you in every way.

Speaker C

So it can't be too late.

Speaker C

Doesn't matter if they're 2350.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

You can still make some gains in this.

Speaker C

The number two things that I, That I get a lot is a lot of conflict over devices, a lot of electronics.

Speaker C

My kid does this, my kid does that, and we can do a whole call on that one of these days, I'm sure.

Speaker C

But.

Speaker C

But a really simple one, though, is what's the example?

Speaker C

They're being fed.

Speaker C

My kid just ignores me when I try to tell him to do something.

Speaker B

Leadership starts and stops at the top.

Speaker C

Right?

Speaker C

Say that.

Speaker C

Just say it in reverse.

Speaker C

Like how.

Speaker C

How often do you walk away from the table?

Speaker C

How often do you stop a conversation mid combo?

Speaker C

How often do you.

Speaker C

Because you're on the phone or you're on a text message.

Speaker C

And if you're like me, sometimes it's a really important one, and other times it's not.

Speaker C

Other times it's just a habit.

Speaker B

Wow, this is.

Speaker B

This is powerful.

Speaker B

Would.

Speaker B

If there's room here, would you mind sharing the.

Speaker B

Your beach story?

Speaker B

Because it feels like that is like such a perfect example of what we're talking about right now.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

100.

Speaker C

So before I learned a lot of this stuff, one of the things that I was lucky enough to learn was this concept of being present and just being all in on the thing that you're doing.

Speaker C

And so we had some friends, they came from out of town and they were staying at our house.

Speaker C

And we live up in Canada, and we live in a place that has a good tree to people ratio, is what I say.

Speaker C

Lots of nature, lots of.

Speaker C

Lots of trees, lots of lakes.

Speaker C

And we're going out to a lake.

Speaker C

And these guests wanted to go to the lake every day.

Speaker C

And I think there was two days back to back that when we were going to the lake.

Speaker C

And so for the first day, my wife said, hey, we're going to the beach.

Speaker C

And I was like, great, go without me.

Speaker C

I'm going to get some work done.

Speaker C

And so day number one, I didn't go to the beach.

Speaker C

I stayed home and I was 100% focused.

Speaker C

Like, I set an alarm on my phone every hour to check in on myself on, like, was I actually being highly productive?

Speaker C

And I just crushed the day.

Speaker C

Like, so focused in flow, got it all done.

Speaker C

And then the next day I'm like, phone's off, airplane mode.

Speaker C

Got stuff to my assistant.

Speaker C

Everybody knew they needed me, just wasn't available.

Speaker C

And so we go off to the beach.

Speaker C

And my kids were a bit younger.

Speaker C

I think they're probably around maybe 7 years old.

Speaker C

And as we're out at the beach, we're there and I see the people that we're there with, and they're just.

Speaker C

They're at the beach, their kids are playing, and they're just glued to their phone.

Speaker C

And a lot of times the, like, laptop lifestyle type things show somebody, like, working on a beach is the dumbest thing.

Speaker C

It's the dumbest thing.

Speaker C

Why are you even there?

Speaker C

Why are you there?

Speaker C

And so I'm like, dude, why, like, why are they even here if they're.

Speaker C

And.

Speaker C

And my wife is like, it was like this all day yesterday.

Speaker C

And they have at the time a girl that this thing was.

Speaker C

Was like 4 years old old or maybe, maybe older.

Speaker C

And she's in the water and she's.

Speaker C

She's like, look at me, dad.

Speaker C

Dad, dad, look at me.

Speaker C

And he's just on his phone, head down.

Speaker C

I'm looking at you, honey.

Speaker C

You're doing great.

Speaker C

And the girl goes, daddy, you're not looking.

Speaker C

I can see you.

Speaker C

Look, Daddy, look.

Speaker C

Look at what I'm doing.

Speaker C

And he looks up for one second and says, do it now.

Speaker C

And she makes eye contact with him, notices that he's looking, and she starts to redo what she was doing, and bam.

Speaker C

His head goes straight back into the phone.

Speaker B

Jeez.

Speaker C

So she thought that he was looking and he wasn't.

Speaker C

And when I think about 18 summers with your kids, when I think about, what if 80 year old you could see you right now?

Speaker C

And it's, it's one of the greatest hacks that you'll ever get.

Speaker C

Because, because with kids, man, the days are long, but the years are short, right?

Speaker C

And sometimes it's like the day just goes, goes and goes and goes and goes and goes.

Speaker C

Moms, if you're listening, you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker C

Dads, if you're listening, you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker C

The day, just go, just by the end of the day, you're just.

Speaker C

But the years are short, man.

Speaker C

Facebook.

Speaker C

Something comes up and you're like, that was four years ago.

Speaker C

That was thought.

Speaker C

That was two weeks ago, right?

Speaker C

And they grow so quickly.

Speaker C

And so one of the greatest hacks is this idea of future wisdom transfer.

Speaker C

And if your kid's just having a meltdown, just pause for a second and imagine that you're 70 years old and you've been given this gift that you get five minutes back today and you get to be Transported as an 80 year old back to today.

Speaker C

How would you view the situation differently?

Speaker C

Your kids are fighting and punching each other.

Speaker C

Instead of freaking out, you just be like, look at you, you're just being seven.

Speaker B

Yeah, I'm just happy to be here with you.

Speaker C

Just happy to have this time.

Speaker C

And what would you give for that time?

Speaker C

As an idiot, what would you trade for it?

Speaker C

If you had 10 million in the bank, how much would you give for it?

Speaker B

All of it.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

But we have it every day.

Speaker C

And we lock ourself in a room or we lock ourselves in somebody else's house where some quote is the most important thing.

Speaker C

Can we beat this bid by this many dollars?

Speaker C

Spend the time.

Speaker C

Doesn't have to be huge amounts of time.

Speaker C

That's not the point.

Speaker C

I spent an entire day not at the beach.

Speaker C

Day one, day two, I was there.

Speaker C

And that's not because I'm incredibly wise.

Speaker C

That's because I had someone that I learned from that was talking about being.

Speaker C

Not being lukewarm, not being half on, half off all the time.

Speaker C

That's how we live, right?

Speaker C

You're supposed to be working and you're not.

Speaker C

You're on Facebook, scrolling.

Speaker C

You're supposed to have time off.

Speaker C

You're not.

Speaker C

You're checking text messages.

Speaker C

We're never all the way on, we're never all the way off.

Speaker C

Do that with a device.

Speaker C

What do you think happens?

Speaker C

You burn it out.

Speaker C

You need Time recharging.

Speaker C

You need time being focused.

Speaker C

And so just.

Speaker C

Just decide that I'm gonna be.

Speaker C

It's gonna be a mission of mine to make sure that the thing that I'm doing there I am.

Speaker C

If I'm with my kids, I'm going to be with my kids.

Speaker C

If I'm going to be working, I'm not going to be messing around.

Speaker C

I'm going to be doing IPAs.

Speaker C

I'm going to be looking at my KPIs, right?

Speaker C

Do all of that stuff.

Speaker C

And if you're listening to this and you're like, man, my boss doesn't support me, go hit your KPIs.

Speaker C

I bet you'll support you.

Speaker C

Bet you she'll support you, right?

Speaker C

Be effective with the time.

Speaker B

Oh, I love that.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

That's the outplay the ref, right?

Speaker B

I hear that, especially in the Facebook group and I get a message is a lot of, man, I've got this manager that he's always on me and it's not the right type of leadership for me and all these kind of things.

Speaker B

And the first question is always, what do your numbers look like?

Speaker B

Are you meeting your requirements?

Speaker B

Are you putting in the work it takes to earn the recognition of them listening to you?

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker B

It's.

Speaker B

It's the same thing, man.

Speaker B

It's the same thing at.

Speaker B

At home with the family, though.

Speaker B

This is that relationship portion of it that, man, it.

Speaker B

This lands and this is a perfect, perfect way to land.

Speaker B

This plane is, you know, it hits squarely.

Speaker B

It's the same how we.

Speaker B

How you do anything is how you do everything.

Speaker B

And, man, that's so many people in business have this, like, very open, transparent business life.

Speaker B

And then the family life is in the shadows.

Speaker B

You know, all of.

Speaker B

They're going through all of this trash and then put on this different face and are two different people.

Speaker B

And, man, that is the way to just completely obliterate someone's integrity and internal confidence and all of those different things.

Speaker B

And, man, this is such a powerful conversation.

Speaker C

Yeah.

Speaker C

And the, the quote that you just said that I hope people don't gloss over is outplay the ref.

Speaker C

And what outplay the ref means is that if you're in a game and it's any sport and you're in overtime and the ref makes a bad call and you lose the game, don't come complaining to me that the ref made a bad call, because I'm going to ask you, why were you in overtime, right?

Speaker C

Why wasn't the score a blowout?

Speaker C

Why wasn't it 27 to 3.

Speaker C

So the same person that's in the Facebook group that's like, well, my boss did this in this situation.

Speaker C

And all they want to talk about is that situation.

Speaker C

It's complaining about the ref in overtime.

Speaker C

Dude, why are you in overtime?

Speaker C

Crush double what you're supposed to, like, follow what Sam teaches you and go double what you're supposed to be selling.

Speaker C

And watch how much flack you get.

Speaker C

And watch how much space you get.

Speaker C

And watch how much grace you get.

Speaker C

And watch how much rope you get.

Speaker C

Right?

Speaker B

Extra support.

Speaker C

Yeah, extra support.

Speaker C

And then, you know, same thing.

Speaker C

If that's what applies to business, then apply it to home.

Speaker C

I'll play the ref.

Speaker C

You're like, well, my kid doesn't listen to me.

Speaker C

Well, show me your calendar.

Speaker C

Why should they listen to you?

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

We talk about devices.

Speaker C

There's a whole thing about, you know, devices and kids.

Speaker C

And the thing that's changeable devices with kids right now is the access that advertisers have.

Speaker C

And what that does is it means that they're vying for, for your kids time.

Speaker C

If you've got 50, you know, apps on your iPad for your child, every single one of those apps has a team of developers and their only job is to get your kid to spend more time on that app.

Speaker B

App, right.

Speaker C

Even if it's three, that's 150 people whose full time job is to get your kid to spend more time on a device.

Speaker B

Whoa.

Speaker C

And the thing about devices is the reason that kids play, there's a number of reasons, but there's less time at school for socializing.

Speaker C

It's all just cramming schedule stuff in.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker C

And electronics are one of the places where they're, they have autonomy, where they're not being bossed around by parents, and where they're allowed to learn by losing.

Speaker C

You can lose and you don't get any points taken away from you.

Speaker C

And so it's a place that kids literally go to escape being told what to do all the time.

Speaker C

If you can create more environments in the home where they don't have to escape it, you can create games, you know, around the home where you're, you're doing things together and you can create connection in that way and you know, to tie it back, just outplay the ref.

Speaker C

Right?

Speaker C

It's not.

Speaker C

You don't need perfect communication.

Speaker C

You need great connection.

Speaker C

If you have great connection, that will trump a lot of other problems that happen around though.

Speaker B

This has been such an incredible, incredibly valuable conversation today, and I'm sad that we're running out of time at this point, but I know that we will be doing more of this because, man, I am, I'm the poster child of everything we talked about today and incremental steps.

Speaker B

You know, I literally have a, almost a business plan.

Speaker B

I'll call it, just rename it a family plan in my head right now that it's literally been writing while we're talking of the things that I want to change around here to be more in alignment with this and incorporate those same principles.

Speaker B

And a good example is, thankfully the timing of this couldn't be any better because at the time of recording we are actually, this is Thursday.

Speaker B

We're headed Saturday for a three day camping trip for, for, for Lauren's birthday, for my partner's birthday.

Speaker B

And we're good.

Speaker B

The goal is to come and the intention is everyone, we're leaving.

Speaker B

All the kid devices stay at home and all the adult devices get left, turned into airplane mode and left in the car.

Speaker B

You know, there's a couple things going on just health wise, you know, with my parents, I'm, you know, make sure that I once a day, is there a message, cool, not right back in the car and that's it.

Speaker B

But so the timing couldn't be any better.

Speaker B

So my intention now of course is instead of establishing all these ground rules around camping, let's.

Speaker B

I'm gonna flip the script and be like, all right, here's here are all of the fun things we're going to be doing here.

Speaker B

What things do you want to do?

Speaker B

What do you think will be fun?

Speaker B

Camping.

Speaker B

Let's build connections.

Speaker B

So, man, the timing couldn't be any better for my life.

Speaker B

And I hope that everybody listening that you take some of these principles and apply them to yours and let us know how, how it goes.

Speaker B

Right?

Speaker B

So like Jimmy said, there will be some, there'll be some links in the, in the show notes and this will be an ongoing conversation.

Speaker B

So thanks for, thanks for being a guest today, man.

Speaker B

Any, any parting words for everybody before we sign off here?

Speaker C

Yeah, the parting words that I would have.

Speaker C

This is something that is nothing new to you because we've talked about it many times, but for your, for your listeners.

Speaker C

One of the things I say the most is that most people overestimate the power of goals and underestimate the power of momentum.

Speaker C

When you see a sports team and they're down like 47 to 4 and they get a sack, they're like smashing helmets and jumping around, you're like, you know, you didn't even Score.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

You know that it's still down 40 points.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

But they understand momentum.

Speaker C

They know that one small win can lead to the next small win.

Speaker C

Can you do the next small win?

Speaker C

And so anytime that you're in an area where things are going really well, then you want these big, hairy, audacious goals.

Speaker C

When you have an area of your life that is not in momentum, it can be really compelling to say, man, I'm going to change 50 things tomorrow and I'm going to write them all down right now.

Speaker C

Don't do that.

Speaker C

Take all the ideas, circle one of them and make it a smaller goal in a shorter time frame.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker C

I'm going to block off one thing.

Speaker C

I'm going to we talk about doing what's called dinner views where you invite somebody over and, and the kids all ask them some questions from a list that you pre created.

Speaker C

Right.

Speaker C

I'm going to text somebody right now that I'm going to go into my phone right now and I'm going to block off our next family party.

Speaker C

I'm going to go in and block off time to have a date with one of my kids on airplane mode.

Speaker C

Do one small thing and build some momentum.

Speaker C

So how do you shorten, make, make the goal smaller and the time frame sooner?

Speaker C

If you can't do a four hour date and you can't do a big family party, that's okay.

Speaker C

Could you do 30 minutes of reading a book tonight?

Speaker C

Do something like that, that's small and create momentum.

Speaker C

And as soon as you do that, do the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

Speaker C

That's how you build momentum and get yourself around other people, get yourself around this podcast, get yourself around other entrepreneurs and do it together.

Speaker C

And that's the thing that is going to make the biggest difference for you over time.

Speaker B

Love that so much.

Speaker B

Thanks for your wisdom and insight today.

Speaker B

And man, this is, this has been such a good conversation for everybody.

Speaker B

This is Jimmy J's.

Speaker B

He is definitely, I would consider one of the foremost experts in this.

Speaker B

We've talked about this for a long time and such a good resource.

Speaker B

Speaking so quick little like we're gonna turn the corner here a little bit.

Speaker B

I do have to make a couple of announcements and it's ironically matches what you were just saying.

Speaker B

Getting around successful people, even if you don't even talk about the business or the thing that is the driver, just being around those people, the influence will raise you to their level.

Speaker B

It'll raise you closer to their level.

Speaker B

So there's two events that I want to talk about one is January 24th in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Speaker B

It is going to be at the Hook Agency.

Speaker B

I am one of the keynotes along with in fact I'm closing out the event right before the sales panel.

Speaker B

So it'll be me, it'll be Joe Cressera, Jason Walker.

Speaker B

For everybody in the industry know that is also Phil Falanski who is going to put up $20 million in H vac sales this year.

Speaker B

Brent Buckley who I think the last number I heard was $14 million in an annual sales and then also the GM at Lee's where Phil Falanski is and of course Tim Hook who is hosting the event or Tim Brown who's hosting the event at Hook Agency.

Speaker B

So everyone those that eventbrite ticket will be link will be in the show.

Speaker B

The catch is there's only 60 spots.

Speaker B

You cannot for a few hundred bucks get into a room with that many of top level people in such a small space.

Speaker B

For everybody who raises their hand and says if enough people show interest in this, I plan on hosting the night before a hot seat session.

Speaker B

So we're going to take applications for five people who we will solve what come with a problem as well defined as you can get it and we're going to help you solve your your business or sales problem.

Speaker B

And so enough people raise your hand.

Speaker B

That is that's what I'm going to be hosting.

Speaker B

But the, the one day event is going to be incredible.

Speaker B

So make sure to find, get, get your ticket soon because it's over half sold out now.

Speaker B

The next thing is and this is the big one, this is the close it now sells boot camp which is going to happen at the end of April, 1st of May in Boston, Massachusetts.

Speaker B

It's going to be a three day event basically at this point close it now is becoming the, you know if you're familiar at all with Tony Robbins events, we're becoming the Tony Robbins of sales training for the home services for the trades for H Vac.

Speaker B

So this is going to be an H Vac specific training.

Speaker B

However if you do something else there's only one little that is specific to H Vac.

Speaker B

The rest will apply to everyone.

Speaker B

So if you're an electrician, Mike Lott I'm talking looking at you if you're a plumber, if you do garage doors or irrigation or it doesn't matter if you have a conversation with a homeowner, anything that circles around home improvement, get to this event.

Speaker B

That link will also be in the show notes.

Speaker B

So finally we have that info ready.

Speaker B

So make sure to grab your ticket there as well, because I am also going to cap that room at that same number of 60 people.

Speaker B

Because more than that, you don't get the.

Speaker B

The intensity of what we're going to accomplish.

Speaker B

And the people that come to this event will be prepared and on this trajectory that in the level of growth that you have never seen from a training before.

Speaker B

So that is the Close It Now Sells Boot Camp, which will be happening the week of the end of April, 1st of May.

Speaker B

So after two, those two announcements, you can reach us at SAM close it now.net email me directly.

Speaker B

Go to the website closeit now.net you can also absolutely join the Facebook group.

Speaker B

The Close It Now Facebook group is 100% positive and we do so much training in there and it's free to join.

Speaker B

So come join the community of people like yourself who are focused on growth, focused on not only being the top salespeople, but also being someone worth buying from, including raising incredible families with roots and wings.

Speaker B

So thank you, everybody for listening.

Speaker B

Jimmy, you want to say adios real quick.

Speaker C

Adios.

Speaker C

Thanks a lot, everybody.

Speaker B

All right, everybody, remember, go be someone worth buying from.

Speaker A

You've been listening to the Close it now podcast.

Speaker A

Our passion is to divert headfirst into the transformative movement that's reshaping the very foundation of H Vac and home improvement and at the same time, covering fitness, nutrition, relationships and personal growth, proving that we can indeed have it all.

Speaker A

We hope you've enjoyed the show.

Speaker A

If you did, make sure to, like, rate and review.

Speaker A

We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find the website and Close It Now.

Speaker A

Find us on Instagram at thereal Close it now and on Facebook at Close It Now.

Speaker A

See you next time.