So in this episode, we are joined by Fiona Fraser, who helps us out with the PR for and while Fiona was getting to know a bit more about us and the podcast, she mentioned that she'd got some driving confidence stories of her own, and so we invited her on as a guest. So, hi Fiona. Thanks for joining us.

Hi Tracey. Thanks for having me.

Pleased to meet you Fiona. I don't know anything about what's happened, so this is all new to me,

I haven't told Tracy either. So this is all new

So I think this is gonna be really interesting just to hear some of the stories that you have about driving and hopefully they can help other people as well, which is all part of the podcast.

Exact, Yeah, it's not, it wasn't a straightforward, situation to, for me getting my license and even since, so.

Okay,

an ongoing thing.

I, I'm gonna say, tell me more.

Well I started driving when I was about 18. Uh, as you, do you know when you were, Well, I think most people, some people start at 16, don't they? I was definitely not ready then. I think I started around 18. Um, and basically it like inherited my mom's driving instructor who she hadn't actually passed with cuz she just gave up. I still don't quite know why she didn't carry on with that I think cuz she was later in life and then just the nerves got the better of her. So I'm thinking about it now. Maybe I didn't have the best sort of like, role model as a, as a woman to learn to drive, which is sad cause I wish my mom could drive, um, for her own sake really. But I went through the process and it felt like there were friends who just got it. And then there was me who just, like, my brain just wasn't there. I just, I always feel like I wasn't actually developed enough to drive at 18, which sounds mad, but it is the truth. And they put me through the, I I did get through to my first driving test and I failed horribly. And I just decided that I was done. I didn't wanna do it anymore, so I sort of left it. In quite a few years. And then, um, I mean, my instructor then was really, was really nice, but by the time I'd gone back again, probably about five years later, he'd retired. So I'd had to get a new one, which at the time was through. Um, I didn't have like local people that were able to, to do it. It was like with the aa, I dunno if you're allowed to say that. That's why I didn't,

there are other driving schools available,

Yeah. And it was so expensive and it was just like I just wasn't getting any better. And even then they put me in for a test and um, I think that was the one that was a really hot day, and the driving instructor had this big coat on and he stank like so bad. And I said to him, Could you open the window? And he said, No. And I was like, Well, that's it. I just failed my test basically because he smelled so bad that I thought I was gonna be sick. So I failed my test again and then was like, I'm not doing this anymore. I just can't do it cuz anytime. So I think it was around then before that test, my dad had let me go in his car at Sainsbury's Car Park and I reversed into someone and he, you know, I said to him, Why didn't you tell me? And he said You should have been looking Cause I literally could, like, that is how, what I thought, I was like, you should have said like slow down, but I don't, I don't even know how fast I was going. And then my dad's friend, for whatever reason was like, Oh, we'll let you go around the block. and there was, I literally went into a concrete post in the middle of the car, so it took out the whole car. So I, I, I dunno why, what was wrong with me that I just couldn't stop the car. I was panicking so much, I just couldn't stop it. And then I failed that test. And then since I had did that test, For around must be at least seven years. I had a, at least weekly a dream. I was driving a car and I couldn't stop and it, I actually thought that if I learned to drive, that's how I would die, that it became that bigger thing.

Wow.

So I was like, I'm not gonna drive because this dream every single week is telling me. You just can't stop a car and every night I'd wake up like, cause I just couldn't, The brake wouldn't work. It was just like, even now I'm still getting that like, and it's happened constantly for years and years and years. And then whatever, for whatever reason I think I must have been about, I think I was around 30 cuz that's when I was like, Right, this is it. This is my time to drive. Um, and I started learning with my dad's friend cuz he retrained as a driving instructor. So I kind of had someone that I knew, which was really nice, but it was kind of like getting my dad but not my dad, that sort of feeling. Cause they're really good friends and it was in a way that was sort of worse because it's like my dad so but He was just. like, This is happening. You know, for your, for your own sake, for your dad's sake. You're gonna learn to drive. Cuz I was, where I was living, it wasn't convenient getting back and forth to my parents on transport. And I was living alone. So I sort of needed to go and see them. It was just gonna make life easier. So he, he was, did all the sort of training with me and I mean, I dread to think how many lessons I've had. I mean, maybe it's, it's not probably about 40, I guess in total or maybe 50. I can't remember along those lines. Um, I did my test with him and I got. Perfect, completely perfect score all around, apart from one major fail, which is where I didn't check my blinds spot coming out. And he gave me three chances cause he kept doing it. So I was like, almost like, right, I just can't do this again. But because he was the right instructor for me, he's, he got me through, we did the test, I passed, and then like, it was just so nice to be able to make that call to my dad together and be like, She's passed her test. for god's sake, But, uh, so I thought, Oh, that would be the moment. I'd feel like, yes, I can drive. Oh God. Then this is a thing though. You just feel all right. Okay, that's it. Now I can drive, but I still didn't think I could drive, so I couldn't quite believe I was allowed on the roads after that and I had to go and pick up my car. My boyfriend at the time, his, um, uncle sorted it all out for me. He had a friend selling a car I got it all MOTd and he, all I had to do was go to his house and pick it up. But I had to go on, um, an, a road on the way back I was. There's just no way I can do this. And I remember doing it and just like sort of screaming like my way onto this A road and it was only five minutes, but you had to come on it to get off again. And I was, I had to stop and be like, I just don't feel I get this car home. And I just all, I was just got so angry at myself about having all this fear that, um, it wasn't too long after I broke up with this person. I'd sort of met some people in Italy and gone out on a holiday and I was like, I'm just gonna drive to Italy because that'll be me done. I'm just gonna drive to Italy. And that's what I did. I drove to Italy going from like, can't go on A road to like, I'm driving across to like the other side of Italy as well, to northeast, like straight through So that's what I've done. Like it's probably a year between passing and, and

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so I do, I did push myself cuz in between what, as soon as I passed I was commuting from Southeast London to Shepherd's Bush at the BBC. So I drove every day about three months. Cause it was really, it is a horrible, horrible drive.

That's, that's, some commute. That is

So that was my practice for Italy. And then, oh my God. I mean, interrupt, maybe you need, if you want me to, but I can still, the story is still going.

Wow. It's amazing. I'm love, I tell I'm loving this, so I can't believe you wouldn't go on an road, but then all of a sudden, you know what? I'm going Italy,

Because I go, I don't like being in fear of things. I, I think, I hate to be like one of those women that's like, Oh my God, I can't go on the motor way. There's such stereotypes around women driving. Um, and because we do get quite intimidated by men on the roads and so all of that, and I definitely spent my life feeling like that until very recently. So basically the night before I was going to Italy, Can't I stay at my mom and dad's house because my friends were coming with me now. My friend had passed his test, but not driven in a couple of years, and he was like, he'll help the drive in or get to that bit. Um, but I was literally parking at my mom and dad's house and, you know, it was very obvious that I was parking coming in pa you know, reversing in as I reversed in like this a van tried to overtake me and hit me, and this van stopped and was about to go for me. It turned out my dad knew him. He hadn't seen my dad. So as my dad's come around, he sort of stopped in his tracks and been like, Oh, oh, oh. You know, All of a sudden I, he wasn't gonna be having to go at me cuz he, A, he was in the wrong, and b, he, my dad was there and he knew he was as well and was a bit. Oh, well, I didn't know she was parking. She didn't put her hazards on. And it's like you don't put your hazard on to park, do you? That's not a thing, is it?

No, you got your reversing lights, haven't you?

exactly. What did you? think I was doing? But then. My dad proceeded to tell me, Next time, put your hazards on. And I was like, Whoa, hold on. This is not a thing. But being two men shouting at me, I was like, I'm in the wrong sort of thing. And I went, the car was packed with all my stuff for it. I was going for three months. The car was like, I had a Nissan Micra You can imagine this. You know, it was full of stuff I went into Mum and dad's house. I literally put a tea towel over my head. For about an hour cause I was so stressed. I was like, if I can't even park, outside Mum and dad's house. How am I going to get to Italy? This is absolutely mental. And then my friends came the next day I got us to Dover and then my friend who couldn't drive, he drove straight off the. He's like, I'm just gonna go for it as well. Get off the ferry. And the thing is, he got, we got caught in traffic at Paris and we just couldn't get him out. And he was just like shaking like, I need to get out. I can't do this. But I couldn't, There was nothing to be done. Like I couldn't swap over. Oh God. It was so bad. And then I guess we got part through Paris at some point and swapped over. And then it, it was insane. And we stopped off in a weird place that night. But then the next day we drove through like Cannes, so I literally, there was a bit of the beach my car could go on, so I've got pictures of me at Cannes. With my Nissan Micra and we're going through all these like Monaco where all the F1 go,

Yeah.

going up into hills where I got stuck, had to like reverse down out of it. Then we drove to my, um, aunt and uncles in south of France. And I went down the street. There wasn't a street. So people come out their windows being like, Get, Go back. Go back. Cuz the car, It, wasn't the street you could drive down. So, you know, this is, and I'm still not even in Italy at this point, this is just

it it sounds like a film.

write a book about it, it in its own sort of way. But, oh, this car, honestly, What it went through in its first year is unbelievable. Oh gosh. So I guess at some point we actually, we did get there, and I, I stayed out there for three months with the car and by the end I was just like, confidently driving. But there were times that, there was one time when the, the roundabouts really got me abroad driving. I, there was one time something just went, You're going the wrong way. And I drove onto a motorway the wrong way. And there was a, a lorry coming and I had to rehearse three point and get off and the lorry's just going, Beep, beep. And then I was on the motorway with my friend taking her to the airport, picking up my brother to come back. So, and she was just like, ashen like, Oh my God, to this day, I dunno how I'm alive still. So that is, that was. I don't even know if I was scared because I was just like, that's the sort of things that I was doing at that time, And then of course it came to drive back and I was like, I can't do this by myself. So I got my dad to come. My dad kind of volunteered to come and help drive me back, which in the end, he slept more of it than drove. But it was, it was company,

That's what dads do. That's what dads do.

He literally was just like, Okay. I was going at 90 miles an hour because we went through Germany and I was just being like, harassed. So the car was just literally like rattling, like, and every, honest to God, we were supposed, he wanted to do. like two nights driving back, but from, from Italy, like Northeast Italy, we did it in one night. We did one stop in Stuttgart. And I was like, I just need to get home because I can't, I just need to get back. And then it was kind of on the ferry. I realized that I still had to get us back from the ferry, and then it was pitch black, And I, my brain just wasn't working after three months abroad. And to this day, I still have a weird thing of roundabouts where I, I have moments of like, I don't, where am I going? Like I have to look where the other traffic is. If there's no traffic on the road. I have these moments of like, Am I going the right way? Am I, You know, it's a really weird anxiety thing. So Yeah, when we made it back from Italy in one piece, thank god touch for us Left you speechless there

yeah, it's, it's like as a driving instructor here, sitting here going,

Oh my

do, I say, What do I do? What do I do? It's, it's, it's definitely a film or a book. It's, it's definitely

I mean, that's the driving. You didn't hear what actually happened on the holiday? Do

you know what,

I don't want to know now, No, it's all good. We actually, um, I ended up getting married the same place, uh, years later with my now husband. So it's, it's a really special place for us still so but, I think the reason that I brought it up with Tracey on that when we were speaking is because, I just got a new car, so only a couple of weeks old, so I had my Nissan Micra, then we swapped to my husband's Hyundai, i I 10 I think, which is sort of the same literally.

sort of size, aren't they?

Yeah. Had, and we've had got, our child is now three. We resisted, like get, we didn't have the money for new car to begin with. And then we've sort of resisted because where we live, we are in London, you know, Oh, the car space are very small. We always hate big cars. But, my husband's parents had bought a car that we could never have afforded, but they didn't get on with it and we're gonna sell it. So we were like, it's a dream car. So, They said, All right, test it, and see what you think. So this is only a couple of weeks ago, so I had to get in with, my father-in-law and try and drive this big car. I mean, all I was doing was going around a big industrial state cuz that's what they? drove me out to. And I was like, it just took me two minutes. I was like, I just can't do this. And then we brought it home and I never, I'd never done cruise control and I was going to this event in Essex, which is gonna be about two hour drive. I was getting so anxious. This was only two weeks ago. So my husband took me on one of the roads by us to do the cruise control, and I was just like screaming that it wouldn't, like, it wasn't stopping fast enough. But then his dad thought it'd stop too soon, and I was like, It's not soon enough. So clearly there's like a thing around like when, when he is the right time. But again, with that, I've just pushed myself to be like, I've driven now to Colchester, which. That was like two hour drive each way. And then last week I drove to Cheltenham, which was like 120 miles. So I kind of almost have to do that to be like, Right, I can do it. It's done. You know, challenge over. But then I still have wobble moments where I'm like trying to park and it's so big that I'm like, Oh my God, I can't fit in any spaces, at the gym or whatever. So, but I've kind of like done my induction with it that I'm like, right that's my car. Now I know what I'm doing, I was just terrified of like having a big car it's so much harder as well once you have, if you've got a baby. Cause I was using the car every day with her to get out and see people cause I was going insane. And, she'd always sleep in it. So I'd just be, sat the car for hours sometimes. So it was a real, it was a big support for me, during. Having the baby, but then I was terrified as well of like, I wouldn't have gone on a motorway. It's only been the last couple of months that I've gone back on motorways and she's now three. So cuz I just, the idea of like, I couldn't do those long drives with her, put it that way. My husband does all those drives cause I'm just, I don't want the responsibility of that. So I'm still quite scared, to be honest. I dunno if I could go on a motor way with her yet. Still dunno what it would take, but, um, an emergency, I guess.

I suppose that is, isn't that that challenge again, isn't it for you, you said about, you know, I have to challenge myself to do Colchester, Cheltenham,

Yeah. All C's.

know Yeah. Is like a challenge with your, I might as well say child, cause that's

Yeah, she is. She's not a baby. I keep you calling her a baby. She's not like, I'd love to take her to, like, if we had a day off on a, like sometimes I've got Fridays off with her. I'd love to take her somewhere, but I'm just, I can't bring myself to go on the motor way with her.

Hmm.

So it's a bit of, it is a shame actually. It has limited me quite a bit.

Interesting is I'm, I'm loving the story in a weird way. I'm loving the story from a driving instructor's

Yeah, you're just loving that you wasn't my driving instructor. Basic you seem very nice for a dr. I have to say. All driving instructors are so nice and calm, but you do seem nice and calm. I haven't got a big coat and the heating's not

on so, don't

worry Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. So I do get a lot of, I just get over like hypersensitive in those situations, like, you know, the smells and the sun, and I'm like, Oh, just too

But they, they definitely can and can, and it can definitely affect different people in different ways. That's, that's what I've found. So I, I've got a quick question. How did you feel about, you know, when you passed your test? I know you were sitting in the car with your dad's friend and but how did you feel about when the examiner said to you, Congratulations, you've passed.

Oh. even now, like I just think, yes, you know, I did it cause I was always the thing, Oh, that's the other thing cuz as soon as I passed the day I passed the dream, stopped that dream. I'd never had it again. So it's the most bizarre thing cuz it, it haunted me. Um, and the minute I passed I never had that dr eam again. So it's, it's funny like how that just disappeared and it was like, okay, I can do this. And it felt, it was, felt really special when I passed because I felt I was quite late to all my friends passing. I was always like, I, I'd had quite a lot of mental health difficulties in my sort of late teens and twenties. So I always thought, Oh, I'm just one of those people that can't do things. But I did it when the time was felt right. for me, um, and. I do feel like the, there's a point where it just gets, you start to feel like it's too late as a woman to, to drive or men just, I don't know, guys just seem to do it and it, that's it. But then I think, I think my husband, he had a lot of, he had a lot of, uh, lessons. He had a lot. And when I first met him, I was like, Oh, you're not a very good driver. I think I am the better driver. Like, You have to be put to a test.

We won't put you both in a test situation. We do that won't do that. You can win bad, but.I

imagine not driving now. As soon it's one of these things, as soon as you've done it, it's just like, well, not as soon as maybe a year or two. It took me to be like, Not to a year to be like, No, I just drive. That's just, just it. And the idea of not driving, it seems so silly. How complicated it felt learning. It's just really, it's a straight, it's a big thing to learn to do, but. then once you've done it, it is kind of done, you know? And then you just don't forget it.

I've had a conversation today with someone and it was not so much about the learning and the driving which they can do, but it was the fact of doing a test and what it can give them that made them nervous.

all right.

So that was quite interesting. So with that in mind, you know, when you was having your lessons before you passed, did you have those thought about driving after the tests and what it gives you?

Oh, like a visualization thing.

Sort of thing. Yeah. So looking into the future time, Okay.

I didn't have any sort of motivation like that. Um, it was very much, I still just didn't know if I'd be able to do it in the end. Like, I dunno, at what point it felt possible, but clearly I found the right teacher in the end that was like, Come on,

you can do

can yeah, come on. It's fine. But then, oh my God. So twice I've had to drop him and my dad off to the pub. Once I rolled into the back of somebody. Like, And then the second time I went up a really high curb that was like, I shouldn't have been up and I at such a pace that I thought I was gonna pop my tyre, so even now I'm still like, something happens around my dad or like that, and then I'll just get all nervous. So when I'd got the new car, We were supposed to go out for lunch and my mom was saying, Oh, let's get in your car. And I was like, No, I don't wanna drive my dad. I just don't. It made me too nervous. Puts me on edge.

Can I, can I let you into a little secret?

Yes.

Tracy won't drive if I'm in the car.

Oh, really? Because you just sort of don't like to be bothered. I'm, I think when I'm on my own, I'm a much better driver than if my husband was there. Like, cause I always, I'm always second guessing

I will pop in here and say, I do drive. I don't like driving Kevs car.

that's different.

So I, when, when I'm driving, I drive my car, but I tend not to drive Kevs car if I'm driving. Much to his annoyance,

But is your car's your car? Like that's what you, I don't understand this. Switching over like I can, I can be on Tracy's side of this, I think.

I'm just going on mute. Hang on.

For me, it's more a worry of Kevs car is his business

Yeah, you don't wanna mess it up or, Oh God. I mean, I've, cuz I've had, you know, scrapes and stuff when I was in Italy. I, I've had one real scrape that was in Italy. It took like the side scratch on the door. um, And even when I go back, I could still sort of see the color on the wall, And I've done the same with, um, my husband's car, in the car park. So this new one, I was, I actually didn't wanna have the car cause like, it's too nice. I don't wanna, I don't want the pressure of it, but now I love it. So

So what do you love about it now?

It's, I don't know, I think I don't get pushed around as much on the road, you know? Um, as I did, I really notice a difference with that. I have to drive slightly slower, just because I can't just, my other car is just like whizzing through places, so I feel like mentally I'm just like a bit, it's just all a bit more like relaxed and I haven't got people. I was really pushed around in my little car. There was a real shift in mentality of driving the bigger car. It's really strange. And it's just, it's a lot more comfortable. That's just the truth of it. It's, you know, it's not filled with toys and bikes. They're all in the boot. it was a storage cuz we got such a small house. And so anything that was sort of outdoors he was in was in the car.

Yeah, but that's, that's really interesting how you now feel more relaxed driving a bigger car.

Yeah, it's just I'm not trying to push myself. I'm not waiting for someone to beep me and be like, Come on, move out the way. Cause they see me as slow. And I think also what I realized is when people felt I was slow, it's because their car was fast. So I now realize like, I've got a car that can move really quickly and you're like, Oh, maybe it's not. And or whatever, but just like your car, like my way mine was, if I sort of like was slow off The take, it would take me a more to sort of get going. Whereas with my car now it's just like shhhm. I couldn't correct with, you know, and I'm gone sort of thing. So I'm understanding this. It's not always everyone's like that, it's just, Well I probably was slower on the roads than most people. Not that I'm a slow driver, but. To take off. The car. is slower to take off. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

it can be frustrating for people.

you are not the first person to have said that to us either. So in a previous episode that we did with a lady called Penny, she said exactly the same thing. Didn't she Kev about moving into a bigger car? Made a really big difference to how confident she felt.

it's strange. I, I've thought I'd be less confident, but then. I don't know. I think, and as well, having the cruise control now on the, now I've got that nailed. It's so much less of a, like the idea, like I'm not just pushing my car down the motorway and it's rattling and it's like really physical. Like I'm literally just set thing, just like more, so much more like comfortable, less energy to do. Cause when go on a motorway, just trying to keep up with people with a slower car, it's, it's hard to work

Oh,

Yeah,

so.

and it doesn't give you the, the newer car probably doesn't give you the feelings that you're in the way.

Yes, Cuz I'm, Yeah, I, I, well, I'm not in the way, I am the. way I suppose they're in my way now. People just stop for me and I'm like, What? Oh, thank you. I've always had a real, Yeah, people just stop for me now. I'm like, Oh, this is great

I'm loving. Loving.

So what would you say to somebody else who's perhaps got cruise control in their car, but are nervous about using it?

It probably give it a go by yourself. Cause I found that I, I did need my husband to tell me the first time and then I played, it sort of built up to what I was like comfortable with. So there'll be times like, my husband, when he use it, you put it on 70. And I was like, well, I prefer 66 for the moment. And then there were points, I was just at 70 so I wasn't losing anything. So it is kind of like you don't have to be at 70. Like, Oh my God, this go going. Or you can just like use it to, you are comfortable and it's there to support you really and make your driving easy and not the other way. Not the other way around. So once you get used to it Oh it is, It's a game changer for me cause I've gotta drive to Birmingham in a couple of weeks and I'm like yeah, I can do that. I mean, I'm sure get nervous as it comes cuz you just do, but. It's not, I'm not like, I can't, I can't do this. Cause what? The drive to Cheltenham was quite tough. And I was almost like the whole day I was still, I did enjoy the day cause I knew I had to get back and I was tired. Um, so it was such a relief to get home. But, you know, I did it. And that's, that's the main thing, really. And so I think cruise control, just give it, give it? a go once you can learn to trust it, that it's gonna stop. You can, like, you can just have the benefit of it. Cause it's so much more relaxing.

And, and if someone is thinking about buying a new car, what advice would you give them now?

I would say if you can get a longer test drive, then do that. I didn't know that was an option. My in-laws, I've done that quite a few times on cars, so I always, Cause I get, The first time I went into a dealership was before I was going to Italy. I was looking at a new car. They were trying to just get me to sign something basically. Cause I was like so tired, which I nearly did. So I've got terrible experience with car dealers as I was like, I'll never wanna go into what again. So that is, that is tough. So maybe get someone to go with you. Like if you feel like that take, even if it's your dad, and even if he's not like going to get you anywhere, at least you got back up or whoever it is you think can go in there and just be like, you know, advocate for you. Um, and give a couple of cars a go. Don't just, you know, and, and trust your instinct. So I really wanted a Fiat, l cause I just love fiat, cause Italian love Italy. But when I'd driven the Fiat 500, I just didn't like it. I never did the Fiat l in the end, but the Renault soon as I drove it, I was like, this is, I feel comfortable. And you got, you kind of will know that over the car. Fairly quickly. Obviously it takes, does take a few, goes to your like, completely comfortable, but, don't get put off by having to go and test drive stuff. Try and get it. If you can get it every, a few days, then take advantage of those sorts of things. And if you've got family and friends who've got cars that you like, have a go in them first as Well, to see how you feel. Cause we did that a couple of times. Um, cuz it can be really overwhelming trying to buy a a car.

Well, there's so

a new one.

There's so much choice. Isn't.

It's a lot of money for us. Like I'd only, I'd gone from spending 700 pounds for my Nissan Micra Oh my God, it was, how many miles was it? 25,000 miles. Because it was an old guy, I just didn't use it. So it was a bargain, brand new, never had a single problem. Went to my husband's car, which always had problems in my opinion, but he's like, That is just normal. So, and then to go from that to like put this big new car, that was mentally quite a big thing I sort of needed in between. It's like if you're gonna move houses, but you're like, well, you don't just go from a one bed to a six bed. There's somewhere in between you take the leap, but I've just kinda like, well, I just missed, I just missed a second one and I just, I went up to the, the big one. So, you know, I just decided to go, go, you know, Skip, Go skip. What is it? Skip down pass. Go.

But that's, that's, that's great. Cause buying a new car or driving your instructor's car Normally for people that driving instructor car, they're newer cars anyway,

Yeah,

the car that people get after they pass the test, they're normally older.

so it just feels so different.

Yeah, and that's interesting. Like try different cars. And I always get people say, Look, go and sit in a car. Go and see what it feels like. If it doesn't feel right, don't buy it. You know, if it feels comfortable, you can reach all the pedals and it just feels right and it, you know, looks nice. Cause sometimes that is important to people, if it looks nice. And again, just thinking about being, you've mentioned it a couple of times, being comfortable with that.

Yeah, because like my in-laws have decided this car is not for them. They've, they've lost money on that. It has ended up to our gain

Why are you

Well, cause I'm like that cause we never would've had this car. So I'm even more grateful to have

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, but they haven't, They've just like, well we just didn't buy the right car. We don't wanna live in misery with it and not be comfortable just not doing what they needed to do. Cause they do like long trips.

Mm,

a place in France they go to very often. So, and I can see why for them that it's not the right car for them. But for us it's, it's fantastic.

I just find the story itself, everything that's happened is amazing.

Oh, well I've just, yeah, I'm just. glad I, I'm sure. But more people need you and I, you know, I didn't have anything like this to go to when I was learning to drive them. Cuz you sort of think, oh, well everyone can drive anyone any idiot can drive. That's what. People used to say, you know, when I was learning to drive, my dad would say, Oh, you know, Soandso can drive. And you'd think, Yeah, I, I can understand like what his point is, but it didn't make it easier for me. Cause it was more pressure. Its like where they can drive, like, Oh, I'll drive, but there you go.

Fiona, I am so happy that you came on because aside from your brilliant stories and I. I've really enjoyed listening to them, and I'm sure everybody else will have done as well. But there's also a real theme that's gone through your stories, which is of driving, driving, not coming easily to you, feeling nervous, and that's still feeling nervous, but actually not letting that get in the way. Of what you want and need to do. So you've, So even when you were talking about when you went to Cheltenham You felt nervous, but that was, and I know what event that is because I've seen it on your social media. So that was an event that was really important for you and your business. And so you haven't let the nerves stand in the way and you've done it. You've planned and prepared so that you could do it anyway, and that's just brilliant and really inspirational for other people.

Well, thank you. I think it's cuz of the train strike. You know what's gonna get a train? The option is you just don't go and it's like, well, I lose then if that happens. So it's just, and I'd be at home really upset that I'm not there. So I don't wanna let nerves get the better of me for something that I know I can do. So I feel like forcing yourself into it sometimes for me is what the, you know, is what, what works

Yeah, it's definitely, and like you said, you know, you knew you can do it

Yes. You know, you can do it. You've got the, I've got this certificate still to prove it in the cupboard. So I've kept hold of that. I, then he framed it. It was such a big deal. I honestly near got in the frame. I just didn't, I just didn't get around to it.

maybe one day.

I still would put it up cause I'm so proud of it.

So Fiona, thank you very much for telling those stories and sharing the experiences you have. I am sure it's gonna help lots of people. That are coming up for their test or been driving or potentially have even stopped and thinking about starting again and just, you know, having your story there that you never gave up, you went around again and you found the right instructor and he got you through, and then you was able to go and make those memories.

I had huge adventures. Like if I hadn't learned to drive, I can't even imagine. Well, where had I even got married? Cause I wouldn't have been to Italy. So,

Where if I put the paint work on my car?

dear.

Yeah. Brilliant. Thank you Fiona.

So that was a great conversation with Fiona there. The story was just, I just want you to know more. I didn't know what was going to happen around the corner. It was, what else could happen? When you look at the takeaways that we're going to share in a minute, there was so many, from that that can help others. Yeah, I really, I really hope that if you're listening that you found that inspiring and found things to take away from it for yourself. So Kev I'll start with you. What was your first takeaway? The first takeaway I've got is not giving up And we've had this on various other podcasts that we've recorded. And the fact that she never gave up, First two tests didn't feel ready, but then she just carried on. Got to a point when she went, oh, this is silly. I need to carry on. Found an instructor and, Had that motivation just to keep going and she will do it. Yeah. I think it was interesting for me because I wasn't very well when we've recorded this. So I was doing a lot more listening and writing notes. Then I normally get the chance to do. But she used the phrase. They put me in for my test. For her first two tests. So she knew she wasn't ready. She clearly didn't feel ready. And it's almost as if those first two sets of instructors. Forced her to go for her test when she wasn't ready. So I think there's definitely. A couple of things to be learned there. One, if you don't feel ready for your test, Postpone it rearrange it. Don't take your test under duress. And then the other one, like you say, is finding the right instructor. Yeah. And know that you're ready. Think of it as, you're going to drive, maybe not to Italy as Fiona did. You're going to be driving on your own. How confident are you to drive on your own? If you took that test and passed. How confident are you to drive on your own? I know you've never done it before, but how confident would you be? Maybe that's a question you could ask yourself to see whether or not you're ready to take your test. Yeah, because that was the end goal. Your test is just an assessment of, are you ready to drive on your own yet? Exactly And then we went into after the test, um, and the stories of. Italy and Paris and, and getting the new car. And I found it really interesting. And again, from previous episodes that we've done That. After a while. She felt safer in a bigger car. People weren't cutting her up or pushing her to do things you didn't want to do. She felt that she fitted in better driving in a bigger car. Yeah. And yeah, there really is something. That episode, where I mentioned about the body language of cars. It reminded me a little bit of that, that obviously having a bigger car, you take up more space. There is a sense of more presence on the road. And like she said, it's in her smaller car. That didn't get away as quickly. It didn't pull away as fast. And so she always felt it was if she was in the way. And now she feels that she belongs on the road. Yeah. So that's really influenced her confidence. Exactly. And you know, if you feel comfortable while driving. It's just going to help with the confidence. And to make you more confident in doing things that you are not necessarily used to like driving to different areas, different places. And just thinking about the car that you choose after you pass your test, do you feel comfortable with it? Yeah. Definitely. And that moves on to that point. Doesn't Fiona. Hasn't let. Her nerves. Stop her from driving. No, actually. She knows she was nervous, but she's actually used that to help her. I think carry on. So, yeah. Yeah. So when she's had to drive to Chelmsford, which was a long journey, Instead of thinking, oh no, I can't do it. She's gone the other way. Um, she's made a plan. So what do I need to do? In order to help me. So she's not let it hold her back. She still done that journey and she sounded really proud of herself. For doing that journey and is planning her next one as well. She acknowledges she'll, still feel nervous, but she knows she can do it. And she knows the strategies that she can put in place to make sure that she does that one as well Yeah. And she doesn't want to miss out. So, what does she need to do? Yeah. Brilliant. That's the thing, isn't it. So brilliant. I've loved having the conversation. I probably never. Didn't know whether to laugh, cry or hold my head. But it was, it was as a driving instructor, but yeah. Great conversation, great stories. And I look forward to the book. That's must come out from that and I'm so grateful to Fiona for coming on and sharing those with us. So I hope that you found Fiona's story inspiration as well, and can maybe resonate with some of her stories. So if you've got some stories that you think would be inspirational and you'd like to share with everyone else, Get in touch. Our contact details are in the show notes as always. And until next time. Have a great day, whatever you're doing.