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Trauma is not the thing
that happened to you.

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It's what happened within you and
how it still affects you, and there

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are two very different paths to
trauma, though they might overlap.

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In this episode, we are leaving
behind the Polyvagal Theory

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primary and mixed states, and we're
gonna ask a much bigger question:

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What is trauma?

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We'll also discuss two different paths
that lead there, one from a single

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overwhelming moment and the other
from years of disrupted connection.

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And we'll talk about the difference
between someone who's fine except for

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one very specific trigger and someone
who's never had access to safety at all.

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I'm Justin Sunseri.

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Hi.

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I'm a therapist, self-regulation
coach, and Polyvagal Institute

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editorial board member.

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You're listening to Stuck Not Broken Book
One: Trauma and the Polyvagal Paradigm.

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On that note, a quick
note before we begin.

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This is an audiobook, and it's
meant to be heard in order.

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Each episode builds on the ones before it.

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So if you're just finding the show
now, welcome first off, but go

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back and start from the beginning.

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This is gonna make… especially
this episode, it's gonna make

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a lot more sense that way.

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And if you wanna support the show
or you'd rather read, this book

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and the next two are available
now in both digital and softcover.

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I'll put a link in the
description for you.

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And thank you so much ahead of time if you
do choose to support the show financially.

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I appreciate it.

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Last time, we closed out the mix tapes
with appease and fawn, which are kind of

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the murkiest of the bunch and questionable
as if, if, if they're mix tapes or not.

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This time, we're leaving it behind, and
we're looking at a much bigger question.

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What is trauma?

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Contrary to popular belief, trauma is not
the event or events that you went through,

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like surviving a disaster, nor is it
the events that you did not go through,

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but you should have, like developing
a healthy attachment with a parent.

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Trauma is the impact of those things.

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It's being stuck in an autonomic
nervous system state of defense.

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Trauma is the inability to access
and retain access to the top of the

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polyvagal ladder, the safety state.

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Understanding trauma in this way
is significant in light of your

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new polyvagal paradigm that we
spent so much time on already.

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This new understanding of trauma can
provide an additional layer to that

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paradigm and new opportunities for
building a top-down narrative for your

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own personal story and who you are
and how you got to be who you are.

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Trauma is the impact of the
event or the impact of the lack

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of events on an individual.

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There are two general paths to
trauma, though those can take many

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forms, and although the two paths are
distinct, a lot of overlap might occur.

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Path one, acute life threat reaction

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The acute life threat reaction path
involves the autonomic nervous system

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simultaneously entering flight or fight
and shutdown activation at the same time.

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However, the individual does not
use the sympathetic energy to run or

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fight due to the perceived or forced
immobilization of the circumstance.

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The immobilization of shutdown locks in
or freezes the flight or fight energy.

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Path one is sometimes referred
to as shock trauma, and it's

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associated with big T trauma.

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Some examples are sexual assault,
car crash, explosion, surgeries

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and other procedures, falls in
childhood, or even being anesthetized

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while in flight or fight.

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Yes, even childhood falls and
routine medical procedures.

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I was personally dismissive of this
when I heard it from Peter Levine.

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I thought that's just
normal childhood stuff.

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But whether it's normal
or not is not the point.

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If the body goes into flight or fight
and cannot utilize the energy because

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of shutdown, this would result in a
stuck defensive state potentially.

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Though anesthesia and surgeries are
hardly normal childhood stuff from an

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evolutionary perspective, as an aside.

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Thawing the freeze

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When sympathetically active, one
needs to use the flight or fight

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activation in one big burst of
movement, like lifting or sprinting.

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But the immobilization aspect of path
one freezes the activation in the

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system, lingering potentially for years.

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This individual will have significant
difficulty recognizing, feeling, and

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discharging this lingering activation.

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They've probably learned how to cope
with or reduce or minimize or numb it,

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but not how to feel and release it.

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Way, way more on this in
book three, by the way.

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The sensations of releasing the
stuck flight or fight energy of

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freeze are intense, or it can be.

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When flight or fight is activated,
it often results in not just anxiety,

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but panic, not just anger, but rage,
and not just stress, but overwhelm.

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This intensity is partially due
to the individual's unfamiliarity

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with feeling and releasing their
stuck flight or fight energy.

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But it's also due to the freezing
or the, the locking mechanism of

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shutdown as part of the freeze.

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Shutdown immobilizes the body even
when it's ready to run or fight.

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It's like your foot being on both the
gas and the brake at the same time.

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The car is ready to mobilize.

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That's flight or fight, but
the brake keeps it immobile.

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That's shutdown.

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And that's what creates freeze.

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To release the flight or fight
activation, the immobility of

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shutdown needs to come off.

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The driver needs to take
their foot off the brake.

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Removing the shutdown immobilization
is potentially a long process,

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and it probably will not
occur all in one sitting.

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Instead, the immobilization
needs to come off gradually.

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In other words, the freeze needs to thaw.

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As the freeze thaws, the frozen
flight or fight energy can start

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to release a little bit at a time

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Think of our driver with their foot
on the brake and on the accelerator.

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If they push down hard on both, their
engine revs loud and hot, the wheels

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spin, and the rubber starts to burn on the
pavement, leaving a stinky cloud of smoke.

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If the driver releases their foot
from the brake, the car will take

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off out of control and likely crash.

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We do not want that when it comes
to trauma recover-- Well, we don't

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want that at all, but we don't want
that when it comes to trauma recovery

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as far as what we're doing here.

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Instead, the driver needs to recognize
when there's a very low level of

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flight or fight activation or freeze,
they should recognize the activation

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before a full-on freeze occurs.

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Then they should slowly release their
foot from the brake and allow the body

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to mobilize using low-level activation.

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As the brake is slowly released,
the car can move forward.

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It mobilizes, but not out of control.

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If the traumatized individual goes too far
too fast, it might result in a car crash.

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Re-traumatization happens when they
attempt to feel their feelings or

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sit with it before they're ready.

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Re-traumatization can also occur
if a therapist pushes them to

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share their trauma narrative
before they can handle it.

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Clients who have been through EMDR and
trauma-focused cognitive behavioral

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therapy often report to me that
they went into shutdown numbness

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when they had to share their trauma
narratives, even repeatedly share them.

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So what does it look like
if you trigger a freeze?

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If more of a frozen fight
state exists, the stuck energy

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could explode when triggered.

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Exploding frozen fight looks like
uncontrollable blackout anger or rage.

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This person becomes highly mobilized
and aggressive, lashing out at

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whatever they perceive as a threat.

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If the frozen energy is more
flight-flavored, then it will look like

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intense spiraling anxiety or panic.

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They freeze in place,
wide-eyed and stiff-muscled,

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and they feel impending doom.

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Thawing a freeze is a long
process, but generally possible.

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Therapy can be an excellent
context for thawing.

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The therapist should be
able to provide safety both

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environmentally and interpersonally.

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Then they gradually assist the client
in strengthening their safety state and

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eventually climb their polyvagal ladder
out of their stuck defensive state.

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Takes a while, but it's possible.

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Strengthening the safety state
is key to trauma recovery.

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As the safety state strengthens,
the shutdown immobilization

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gradually comes off.

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Gradually removing shutdown allows
the mobilization process while in

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safety, releasing stuck trauma in
path one, especially over time.

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Freeze and PTSD.

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Path one is probably the underlying cause
of post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

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Just like with PTSD, the individual
is stuck in a certain moment or easily

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triggered into it through aspects
that are reminiscent of that moment.

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For example, if one survives an
assault from a dog pack, their

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freeze response may be triggered, uh,
later in life when they see a dog.

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Let's use the car metaphor again.

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The car is fine until the human triggers
it into a freeze when they push the

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brake and the gas at the same time.

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Likewise, one might be fine until
something in the environment

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triggers their freeze response
connected to the traumatic incident.

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The environmental triggers may be
otherwise benign, having no inherent

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danger quality to them, like a,
a particular texture or smell.

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So they're benign to anybody else.

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But during these life-threatening
freeze events, the body and the

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brain take stock of sensory stimuli.

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At the moment a trauma takes place,
all of a person's senses automatically

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focus on the most salient aspect
of the threat, and that becomes

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the intrusive image, the imprint.

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That most salient aspect of
the event is now associated

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with the traumatic incident.

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And the next time one is near that
stimulus, even if it's benign, the same

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defensive reaction is triggered, even
though it's not necessary in that context.

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Path two, a chronic disruption
of connectedness   We all have an

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impulse to connect with other people.

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The need for connection never stops, but
it's even more important in childhood.

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Children's ventral vagal pathways,
the safety pathways, they form

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and strengthen through connection
with safe and reliable caregivers.

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A chronic disruption of connectedness
is when someone's impulse to connect

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and form a healthy attachment
is repeatedly severed or unmet.

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The individual cannot access and develop
their safety pathways because connection

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is unreliable, unpredictable, or absent.

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Commonly, someone like a caregiver
or a significant other abuses or

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neglects the individual, which
cuts off their safety access.

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This path of trauma can result in chronic
stuckness in any of the defensive states.

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C-PTSD and PATH2.

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CPTSD stands for Complex
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

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Currently not an officially recognized
diagnosis in the fifth edition

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of the DSM, the bible for people
working in mental health, really.

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A core historical element of CPTSD is
repeated prolonged exposure to potentially

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traumatic incidents like being held in
captivity and not being able to escape.

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And that context can apply to
many different scenarios like

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concentration camps or prisoner
of war camps or domestic violence.

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All of these and many more involve the
victim being under the control of another.

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They can't run and they
can't fight the captor.

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The only other option is to shut down.

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One of these acts is enough to leave
someone in a stuck freeze state.

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That's path one.

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Repeated acts solidify the freeze state,
plus being cut off from safety, along

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with the total control of the captor.

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That's path two.

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Path two versus path one

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Path two is distinct from path one.

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Let's say a young boy survives an
attack by a pack of stray dogs.

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The attack occurs while the kid passes
a toy shop on his walk down Main Street.

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During the attack, his eyes lock
onto a painting of a smiling

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Mario in the toy shop window.

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He survives the attack, but it
leaves him in a stuck freeze state.

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If the boy remains stuck in freeze, then
dogs, Mario, or, or even Main Street

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may continue to trigger his freeze.

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But he's potentially fine outside
of any sensory stimuli that

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connect him to the dog attack.

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He can live a normal functioning
life, including finding love

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within himself and for others.

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What I just described is path one.

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Now, what about a child who goes
through repeated events of abuse

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and neglect or ongoing isolation?

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And what if these are from caregivers
who are supposed to provide safety?

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This is path two.

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This child does not have the chance
to develop their safety state.

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The ventral vagal pathways don't develop
the myelination necessary for secure

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attachment and emotional regulation.

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This child has little to no capacity to
feel safety, trust, or vulnerability.

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Of course, they are born with the
impulse to do so, but the impulse to

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connect is repeatedly interrupted through
ongoing abuse, neglect, and isolation.

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If that impulse to connect is
unfulfilled, a defensive state will

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chronically dominate their existence.

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This child may live in constant flight,
assuming the worst about everyone in life

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and too anxious to try something new.

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They might exist in fight and aggressively
talk back to their teachers and peers.

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They may live in shutdown,
disconnected from any motivation to

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succeed academically, instead opting
for isolation in their dark room.

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Growing up and living a functional life
will be much more of a challenge for

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the person living with path two trauma.

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They won't identify safety in others.

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They might identify manipulative
individuals as normal and gravitate

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toward those relationships,
feeling some level of protection or

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predictability, not quite safety.

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They may lack the motivation
and discipline to get ahead in

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life, unable to find purpose or
fulfillment from much of anything.

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Life is potentially very
empty and pointless.

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They may chronically blame
others for their life context.

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Of course, everyone is unique, and
they're gonna have their own outcomes.

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Those scenarios might seem
extreme, but they are not extreme.

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It's realistic for a child who is
not allowed to build their safety

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state through healthy and predictable
connections with safe others.

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Very realistic.

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Safety is a complete stranger to
their bodies, so, so much so that

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they don't recognize it in others or
within themselves when it's there.

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They may be stuck in any
defensive state perpetually.

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Children have a biological
drive to connect to caregivers.

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If they don't have adults taking
care of them, they won't survive.

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It's just that simple.

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So they will put up with a lot and
still make attempts to connect.

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Or at least hope for a connection.

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For survival, not because they're actually
forgiving or forgetting, but because

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it's simply a biological imperative
to continue to put trust and hope into

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the people who are their caregivers.

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This implicit need and trust in adults is
easily misused, abused, and manipulated.

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Parents and other caregivers
must be self-regulated enough to

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nurture this drive within children.

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If not, then the child's innate
impulse to connect will not

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develop in the proper direction.

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They won't develop the myelinated ventral
vagal pathways necessary to identify and

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build healthy relationships in the future.

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00:18:19,919 --> 00:18:24,929
They won't healthily meet expected
physical, emotional, cognitive, or

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00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:27,239
interpersonal developmental milestones.

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They will lack the foundation
necessary for safety, resulting in

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a chronic, stuck, defensive state.

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Path two trauma individuals
may get triggered into severe

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00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:45,549
dysregulation, but they also exist
every moment in dysregulation.

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They constantly struggle to access and
maintain access to their safety state.

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That's the two paths of trauma.

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One moment that locks the body
in freeze or years of disrupted

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connection that never let safety
take hold in the first place.

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Different roads, but
same destination, stuck.

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Next time, the vagal brake.Pendulation,

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titration, and how you actually thaw
a freeze without crashing the car.

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If you wanna take this chapter even
further, the written book has journal

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reflections for it, along with
primary source quotes and no ads.

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It and the next two books are
linked in the description if you

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00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:33,886
would like to support the show.

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00:19:34,446 --> 00:19:35,356
Thank you so much for listening.