Welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast.

The podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, curiosity and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities.

It's the potential to move beyond and move forward where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way.

The world is waiting and listening, and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper.

So welcome to the show.

I'm so glad that you are here with me.

And today I am pretty pumped up about today's topic and what I'm going to be talking about.

And literally it's one of those things that when you, when you, when you hear something or you see something and you see it come around like in like complete and total, like full view and like you get a total and complete image of the, of the thing, right?

Or, or maybe what was said or what is being done.

And so this is all around one simple question.

It's around a question that I was.

Today I had lunch with a client and a friend and someone I'm trying to introduce to the client who they're in the same work in the same field.

And this is a friend who I also worked with on.

They were running for public office and I helped this individual, you know, go do something that they hadn't tried to do before and that is to be, you know, elected for this high office and didn't work out.

But it was a great experience and something for them to do.

But, but what is happening out of this whole situation is this client that I have that asked me this powerful question and that's one of the reasons I'm working with them currently is, is it was interesting because in this lunch meeting that I had with them that, you know, that, that I'm introducing the client and my friend together to talk that he, the my client asked the same exact question which I thought was powerful, which let me see why so much like why, why this alignment was really good, why I feel like the connection was really good and then just the gratitude and what happened because of it and the way that I was even able to feel knowing that, wow, you know, this connection is happening because of what I've experienced and being able to trust the relationship I have with both of them, bringing them together.

But what was beautiful was hearing the question and that's kind of what I wanted to bring out today.

So before I do that, I want to say thank you for listening to the show.

And if you're listening on Apple Podcast or Spotify Podcast, Amazon Music, Odyssey, Audible?

Yeah, just follow the show if you haven't already and subscribe to the show.

I encourage you to share it with other people.

I had a friend that said one of the things they like about the show recently was that it was, was.

It was just the stuff was very useful and was helpful and they really enjoy sharing it.

They like sharing the topics with people and they find it helpful and useful.

So I just think that's really cool.

That's the whole point of the show.

Again, I'm not being paid for half the things that I.

I'm not even being paid for any of the things I'm sharing.

This is just my gift, my love, what I like to do to put out into the world to help other people.

So this is just again, a resource because I believe in investing in the lives of others and I want to help people be better at being human.

Just wrapped up the beta of the course group or course with my beta online community that will be opening up into the larger community.

That is a community where people will be invited to come into and join.

And man, it was so great.

And I'm going to share in the future.

Coming up, I will be starting sometime in the middle of November and I'm going to start pushing out regular information about the community.

What's the community for?

What's so important about community?

The name of the community.

Just walking you through how I got to where I am and what I'm doing.

So I can't wait to do that with you.

So right now I'm in a different environment, which is kind of cool.

I am, I'm working, so I'm out and about.

I'm traveling and I'm enjoying myself.

But I actually love the fact that I can take my little rig with me and still be able to put some stuff out into the world.

And that's what I am doing.

So I'm just like, right now, I guess the big thing that I would say is, hey, if you're going to do stuff, be able to take.

Be able to have stuff that you can pack up and go if you're going to, if you're going to do a podcast or if you're going to, you know, second person, if you're a writer, take your journals with you.

Make sure you bring the things that you enjoy doing.

Like, I love doing the podcast.

I love sharing with people useful information.

So I have gear that I can take with me that's very simple, very easy to take with me.

It's portable, it's simple and I'm able to just plug up and go.

So that's a little sidebar, a little extra information that you probably didn't even want.

So I'm just giving it to you.

But I'm in a different environment.

It's a little different, but I'm going to, I'm going to make the most of it and cover today's topic and hopefully you'll enjoy this and you'll be inspired by it.

So what is that question?

The question is the power of what can I do for you?

And so my client asked me that not too long ago, was just talking to me and said, tim, what can I do for you?

And I thought, wow, what a strong question.

Like, I mean people have asked me that in different ways at different times, but just in, in the middle of us talking, in the middle of us connecting and working in.

And he just said to me, what can I do for you?

And I.

It was said with such a warmth in such a way that I felt.

It was so genuine, it was so real.

And then we were able to dialogue and talk about the things that I was wanting to do and the things that I was hoping to do and ways that I felt like it could be useful and helpful to even what building with his organization and, and what was really cool about it is that that open, that question opened the door for us to talk about, you know, not only just him, to be able to see what's going on inside my world and inside my life and, and the way I'm thinking and what, and where, you know, what I'm about, what I'm up to and where I'm headed and what I'm.

What I'm about.

Like what, what am I?

You know, he already knows who I am, but like what's, what's this guy really about?

What's he doing?

And it just opened up the door to all types of possibilities which we've stepped through those in.

And then that's where kind of we had this lunch today and I invited another friend to come and sit down.

A person that I believe, the two of them in the fields, in the world that they're in, there's tremendous benefit there.

Both minority owned businesses, I'm a minority myself.

And just seeing the integrity behind both of them and what they have in their lives and all of that, I'm like, this is just such a great start, right?

So this question though, I want to get into what this question.

So I'm telling you what it meant for me when he asked me that.

But then I heard him ask my friend that today the same question.

And I was like, wow, like.

And then he told the story about him and my client told a story about him asking this question to these other folks that are around his roundtable and each of these people that are in his roundtable, he asked that question to.

And then I realized like, he specifically asked that question because of the importance of it and his desire to genuinely connect with somebody.

So let me just talk to you about this question.

What can I do for you?

It's a powerful question that can significantly impact relationship and growth in the relationship.

It can.

The relationship growth and personal growth.

It's a simple yet it's very profound inquiry.

Like, it projects a willingness, right?

It projects, I'm going to, I want to help.

It's a willingness to help or empathy, a genuine interest in another's well being.

So I want to explore the importance of this question though.

I just don't want it to be that you heard the story of what happened and you know, a lot of it I'm not going to unfold, I'm not going to pull back the curtain on the conversation because that was, you know, that's just to that that's just private.

That's that conversation.

But I want to share with you the importance of this question so that maybe you would do the same and how it can be effectively utilized in order for you to invest in other people or for you to even recognize when that question is being asked of you.

So projecting empathy and support.

When you ask someone what can I do for you?

You're conveying several important messages.

And I'm going to give you here four important messages.

The first one is you're conveying I'm available.

You're signaling that you have time and energy to offer when you ask that question.

The second thing is you're saying is I'm willing or you're willing.

You're expressing a readiness to assist or support.

I mean, it's one thing to say you're available, but then you're saying I'm willing with that.

The third is that you're attentive.

You know, you're showing that you've noticed the other person like I see you.

And not only you notice, but the other person, you recognize that they might need some help.

And the fourth is you're empathetic.

You're demonstrating that you care about their situation.

So this question opens up the doors for meaningful interaction and support and creating an opportunity to deepen that connection by, number one, letting them know you're available, number two, showing that you're willing, number three, that you're attentive, and number four, that you're empathetic.

So when you do that, it's going to create a safe space.

And that's what I felt when I watched that question asked.

And I watched my friend smile back at my client just like, wow.

Because by asking that question, he was creating a safe space for the other individual to express their needs or their concerns.

It can be challenging for people, you know, to ask for help directly.

Right?

That can be a hard thing.

Sometimes people go, well, I don't have a problem asking for help.

Okay, great, if that's you.

But there are times it can be very challenging to ask for help directly, but when offered, they may feel more comfortable accepting assistance.

And that is the beauty of it.

It creates space.

The other one, when you.

When you're.

When you ask, you foster some reciprocity.

Like when you consistently offer help to other people, it often encourages them to reciprocate, right?

So by me, seeing what my client did, offered it to me, and then I watched how my client offered it to my friend here, which hopefully they'll be working together in the future, it made me want to reciprocate to my client.

Like, I already asked my client, what can I do?

How can I help?

What can I do to help something go to the next level?

I already do that, but, man, it makes me want to do it more.

And then it leads to a stronger, more supportive relationship in both that personal and professional sphere, because I am, that is, my client is, you know, who I work with, and I feel closely connected in a professional sense.

But there's also, because of how I look up to this individual, there's that mentoring aspect.

I feel like that, that.

That he adds value to my life, and it helps to help me to be shaped as a man and helps me to shape my thinking and to improve and better.

And then the impact when you ask, what can I do for you?

It's in that impact of offering that help.

And I'll just go back to, it strengthens that relationship.

When you offer help, it builds trust.

It strengthens a bond, or it gives the opportunity to create a bond that can have future potential for strengthening between whoever those individuals are or those groups.

It shows that you value the relationship and that you're willing to invest time and effort into it.

And that's one of the things that blew my mind was over this lunch, which wasn't a Long time.

But the very pointed questions, the very direct questions, the very real communication around just being real, getting to the point and getting down to the nuts and bolts of a conversation, but being able to discern.

I watched my client, my friend, client, who literally discerned, could see the need by hearing where my other friend was at in his world and what he's doing from the genesis of what he's created in his business to where ultimately where he wanted to go.

And it came from asking those specific questions.

And so was just beautiful to witness and to see and for him to be able to find it, to be able to say, yeah, I will ask that question now because it created in my client this individual.

He was able to look and go.

Hearing that and seeing how it connected and aligned with his own values, he decided that, yeah, I'm willing to ask.

And knowing who I am as well, he knows me, that I only bring people around him or I won't even introduce him to anyone unless I feel like there's something valuable there.

And because of that trust bond that I have with him, him being able to just turn to my friend and say, how can I help you?

What can I do for you?

This also will boost the wellbeing when you ask this question.

Both, both the giver and the receiver of help can experience improved well being because helping others can increase happiness and life satisfaction, while receiving support can reduce stress and improve the mental health.

And that's one of the things that my friend was sharing with my client was saying that, you know, that's just that not knowing what to do and how stressful that can be and trying to make sure you, you choose things properly, the timing is correct, and you make better decisions and you build the right partnerships and all of those things.

And.

And my client, who's been in business for 25 years and has built an Inc.

5000 company, right?

It's a powerful, powerful thing.

But to be able to simplify, sit at a table, have lunch, and be able to connect at such a level and discern and identify and remember in order to help another person's well being.

But it also enhanced the team dynamic.

So the offering to.

So my client friend basically offered an opportunity to grow with my friend and then through that, growing and working together.

Because my friend literally said when the question was asked, what can I do for you?

He said, would you mentor me?

And the answer was yes.

And that was so powerful to just witness that at the table, like, wow, yes.

And then through that say, I want to help you build A statement of work.

I want to help you grow.

Whatever it is you need to do.

I want to help you, connect you with the things that I can connect you with.

But it was just so beautiful to see that in a professional context, a culture of offering help can significantly improve a team dynamic and productivity or a relationship dynamic that is going to eventually become maybe like a team that can grow, it encourages collaboration and it's going to create a more positive work environment or professional environment to be able to grow together.

So in wrapping up, I want to, I want to, I want to show you how to effectively use.

What can I do for you?

Okay.

If you're going to do this, like I witnessed, this is what I noticed from my client friend.

Okay.

And as he offered it to my friend and to where from the question, what can I do for you?

The request was made, would you mentor me?

And the answer was yes.

Here's what I noticed.

First, be genuine when you ask this question.

Ensure you offer your offer is sincere because people can often sense your instance when you're insincere or insincerity, which can damage trust rather than build it.

The second thing is listen actively.

After you ask the question, listen carefully to that response.

Show that you're fully engaged and interested in understanding their needs.

And in my friend's case, he said, would you mentor me?

Now, of course, there were more questions asked beyond that, but that was based on listening.

The answer was yes, but digging into those and what it would look like, that was powerful.

But here's the third thing.

And this is what I know from my experience.

I didn't see it today because they just had this activity.

They just did this exercise basically in real life experience.

But it's follow through.

And I know that my client has done this with me.

Follow through with me.

If someone takes you up on your offer, make sure to follow through.

That's so important.

There are people that I coach, there are young men I coach, and there are young men that right now I'm mentoring.

And they're different.

And I've talked about that.

Some I'm coaching and some I'm mentoring.

But the key is make sure you follow up.

Because reliability is key to building and maintaining trust.

And then be specific when necessary.

Sometimes a general what can I do for you?

Might be too broad.

Right?

So in certain situations, offering specific forms of help can be more effective.

So here's a simple.

This is just.

I'm just going to give you a basic example.

Can I help you prepare for your presentation?

You're going to go pitch to this other company and get new business.

You know, that's, that's very, that's being specific.

Not just what can I do for you?

But hey, what can I do for you in this situation?

Could I help you?

Would you like me to help you with your presentation for new business?

Because I've been successful in doing that.

Or, you know, if it's, hey, would you like me to help you pick out, you know, or choose better team members?

Would you like me to help you to choose from a pool of possible team members or employees?

You know, I'm good at that.

So that's being specific of what can I do for you?

Okay, so that's in that situation now, if it's in real life, it's, you know, maybe someone just needs some help.

What can I do for you?

Maybe they're overwhelmed, they're stressed out, and they just need you to go to the grocery store for, hey, could I help you go get some groceries?

Can I go pick up your groceries for you?

Like, that is a way to be specific.

All right, and then the.

So the first one was, you know, be genuine.

Second was listen actively.

Third one was follow through.

Fourth was be specific when necessary.

And then the last one is practice regularly.

Right?

So make offering help a part of your interactions, your daily interactions.

The more you practice, the more natural and genuine it will become.

So if you lead a team of people, people ask, what can I do for you?

You know, step in.

But make sure you understand that, you know, you're.

You're genuine, you listen, you follow through, you're specific, and you practice this.

So there are barriers too, though.

All right, So a lot of times, while offering help is important, it's equally crucial to create an environment where people feel comfortable asking for that assistance.

They feel comfortable.

So I want to just give you simple ways to encourage this one.

I want you to lead by example.

Ask for help yourself when needed, showing that it's okay to do so.

So if you're leading people.

So, like, I know for a fact my friend, my client friend, he literally gave the examples of when he had to do the same thing 25 plus years ago when he started, what he's doing now that I work with him in.

The second is acknowledge and appreciate when someone asks for help.

Acknowledge their courage.

That, hey, I acknowledge it, it's courage, and I appreciate their trust in you.

Like, that's an important thing.

And then the third is create a no judgment zone.

Ensure that asking for help is seen as a strength and Not a weakness.

One of my favorite things to tell people is collaboration is the admission, meaning you admit it's the admission of weakness.

In other words, I need to work with you view it as a strength and not a weakness.

So just in closing, I just want to say what can I do for you Is more than just a question.

It's an invitation to connect.

I mean, it's an invitation to connect, to support, to grow together.

And so by regularly and sincerely offering help, we can build strong relationships, we can foster a culture of mutual support, and we can create a more positive environment in both our personal and professional lives.

So remember, the act of offering help is as beneficial to the giver as it is to the receiver.

It allows us to step outside of ourselves and practice empathy and contribute to the well being of others.

And in doing so, we often find that we receive far more than we could ever give.

So the next time you see someone who might need assistance, or even if you simply want to strengthen a relationship, don't hesitate to ask, what can I do for you?

You might be surprised by the positive this simple question can have on them and on you.

So I know it's in you.

Don't be afraid to ask that question.

What can I do for you?

Until next time.

We'll talk soon.