Hi, and welcome back to the awfully quiet podcast. I'm excited you're tuning in today. I feel like we all collectively need a little bit of quiet time together in what is just a week away from Christmas. So I feel like this is always a time where we try to take things off our to do list or we try to get things ready where we try to wrap things up at work to like leave with a clean and conscious mind.

If you are like that, I know that you're being pulled in so many different directions right now. So what I want to do now is I just want to spend some quiet time with you and reflect on something that has come up for today's episode. Now, if you're new to the show, welcome. I am still seeing so many new listeners on a weekly basis.

This is wild to me. Like this is the first full year of Podcast. And. It's been a wild ride for me personally, because it's the first time I'm doing something like this. And it means so much to me that this community is growing and thriving. And what I love most is that I'm starting to get questions from you.

I'm starting to get, you know, feedback from you and responses of like, you know, can you talk about this? Can you touch on this on the podcast? And it literally means the world to me because that means that. I can record something that I know is going to help somebody out there that I know is going to solve for something that you are experiencing right now.

And it, I don't know, it just kind of gives me such a warm feeling and I love that we're in this place and if you ever have an idea or something that you'd want me to cover on the show, please do reach out to me. You can send me a DM at awfully quiet podcast on Instagram and I will be happy to do that and get in touch.

Now, before we dive into the question, if you take three to five seconds. It literally doesn't take longer to leave a quick rating or review on Spotify or wherever you listen. This means so much to me and the show. It gets the show out there. It makes sure that, you know, there's more introverts who learn about this.

Them being awfully quiet is not the end of the world. In fact, it is something that can turn into a real power that can become a real game changer for them in their career and at work. If you know anybody who this show would resonate with, please send them an episode that you liked and let's get word out there.

Thank you so much for that. Now onto today's question that I have received again. I really love this one and I want to read some of that to you, but it is basically about whether or not as introverts in the workspace, in the workplace, we should, you know, challenge ourselves more to get out of our comfort zones for the benefit of being in some of these extrovert environments, or if we should really take care of our energy and make sure that we're in the right space, we don't overwhelm or overextend ourselves.

To a point where it's just complete exhaustion. And, some of what this person has wrote in was like, you know, when the job is pulling you into spaces that often feel super uncomfortable, you know, perhaps more extroverted and to be seen, to be in the office all the time and so on, and whether this is because it is stretching you to grow or if the organization and role.

isn't meeting your inherent path or calling. So if it is because you're introverted or if it is just because the role isn't right for you, I know I can drive change, but at what expense when it's often putting me in these spaces that feel stressful, but so rewarding after, and I do see subtle changes.

Okay. Where do we start? I feel like this is a very real issue. And it's a, it's a very real problem that. Some of you will experience, I have certainly experienced this. It's this tension between, you know, how much of the uncomfortable should you be striving for? Because the, alternative would be to forever stay in our comfort zones, right?

And I feel like that is something that, you know, can really do a disservice to people around us, but really doesn't help us at the end of the day. And I feel like This is the reason why a lot of us introverts at the end of the day will feel overlooked, will feel underestimated because we stay in our comfort zone too much.

And we don't really get out there because we don't know the right tools. We don't know the right Ways to put ourselves out there that will not lead to overextending or overexhausting ourselves. So we end up staying in this little bubble where it feels comfortable, where we don't need to extrovert too much, where we're not stressed too much.

And We kind of stay there and feel stuck. Now, I am pretty sure there will be people who will happily stay there their entire lives and be, you know, just content with that. But I do feel like these are not the kind of people that do listen to this podcast. So I am somebody who will. Feel like that is my comfort zone, like saying somewhere where I'm not too visible, where I can just do my own work, where I can work in quiet, you know, in my own peace and quiet do my thing.

That's my comfort zone, but there is always a, I'm always feeling pulled towards the outside. I'm always feeling pulled towards like, you know, achieving. Bigger, better, bolder. And that is my ambition that I've come with and that I can literally not switch off. I always get this, I feel triggered. I feel, I feel pulled whenever I see somebody, you know, run a successful podcast show, run their own online business, be at the board of some organization or company.

So these are all of the things that I feel pulled towards that I want to achieve you. And I do appreciate in order to get there, I need to exit that comfort zone and I need to get out from time to time. But the way I feel about this comfort zone is it's my home base. It's this space that I make my safe space that I can always come back to.

And that is always there for me. Because it's not necessarily A space in the outside world. It's not necessarily my desk where I'm just by myself working in silence. But this safe space, this comfort zone is something I have inside of me. And I feel as introverts, we're naturally very in tune with our rich inner world, with our selves.

We don't feel bored when we're just by ourselves. We, it's just a peaceful place to be. And I feel like this is what we can always try and tap into when Ever we feel like we've overextended ourselves a little bit too much, we've, socialized a little too hard. We've extroverted too much. We can always come back to this place inside of us that feels safe.

So that's the first thing that I want to land with you. That comfort zone is not something that where you have to physically go to. It's not like, you know, you need this kind of quiet space on your couch and your bed on your desk, but the comfort zone is there inside of you and wherever you are, you can always choose to remove yourself and go inward.

what that could mean is like you do You sit in silence for a couple of minutes and breathe. You open a window and you consciously breathe in the fresh air for a few minutes. I go on a damn daily dog walk during lunch for that exact reason, because that is my comfort zone. That is my space where I go inward, where I'm just by myself with the dog.

I breathe in the fresh air and it feels like a reset for me. And that feels so, so powerful. And so to this person who says that, you know, there are often spaces in their job that feel uncomfortable, that feel like they need to extrovert, and, and stretches out of, out of their comfort zone. It's. What are the kind of things that you can do whenever you feel stretched too far that you can use to come back to yourself, that you can use to reset, to rewind and yeah, to literally find that safe space inside of you.

Because the way this person was writing into me, literally my first instinct, I had to smile at this one part of the message that said.it's often putting me in these spaces that feel stressful, but so rewarding after. And this is where I just had to smile. This is where I just got to love those introvert badasses who I can so much resonate with.

I almost want to cry because I know exactly how it feels and I can exactly envision this person. And it's like, Transcribed You know, putting me in spaces that feel stressful and there are so many situations like that on a daily basis in the workplace and it can literally just be having to go to an office.

Like that feels stressful for me. I rarely go to an office these days because I work mostly remotely. But every once in a while I do, and I already get stressed the day before when I have to pick out an outfit that I need to wear there that I need to leave at a certain time, it's stressful for me, like, I can literally feel it in my bones.

It's not. It's not great. all the way to attending meetings, presenting, doing workshops. I have a couple of workshops I need to run next week, so that's already on my mind. So I know exactly what you're saying when you say these spaces feel stressful. But where it gets me is where you say, But it feels rewarding afterwards.

You're glad that you've done it. You feel like you've killed it. You feel like you've did a good job because you've probably did a good job. And that tells me that you're a badass. You have all the skills and capabilities that you need to succeed in the space that you're in. And some of these spaces might, you know, ask a lot from you.

Some of these, you know, that we, we call them extrovert spaces, but.I feel like as introverts, we obviously need to do a little bit of a job of taking these extrovert spaces. and bringing in the introvert perspective. Like say you have a role in marketing or a role in sales and it requires you to be around a lot of people on a daily basis, to work with customers, to work with clients, to do a lot of meetings, to be on the phone a lot, to present a lot, to, you know, be in these kinds of high stakes environments.

And it feels like as introverts, we're not really thriving. In those environments, but at the end of the day, we can bring, we can add so much value because the extroverts will always do the things a certain way it will, it will be the same old, same old. And from an introvert perspective, you have the ability to bring something fresh, to bring something different, to bring a new perspective, to bring empathy into a customer or client meeting, to bring listening to a customer or client meeting and walk away.

With insights that I can bet you the extroverts will have totally overheard because they will have thought about their answer and their next move more than listening to the damn client and you walk away. Meanwhile, with the gold nugget inside your head, but you never mentioned or care to say it because you never get to say a damn word in those conversations.

So this is why I'm so torn. And this is why I think. No, we can't lean back. We can't just leave the field, these fields that are inherently extroverted fields. To the extroverts, because it would be doing the business, the organization, the extroverts a disservice because we need that diversity in those teams.

We need that diversity in leadership. We need your unique thinking. We need your unique perspective, and we need you. To show up. So I totally get that all of this can be stressful. And ever since I have my aura ring, and I recently shared about that on my Instagram stories too, it does now measure daytime stress.

And it's that, that, that graph that shows you the different stages of the stress that you feel throughout the day. And I am obsessed with this feature because. I literally go into that a couple of times a day to think, to look into like, how did that meeting make me feel? How did this kind of thing that I did make me feel?

And the insights don't lie. Like literally I. have that one meeting a week that is just so damn stressful to me. And I have the data to prove that now, because whenever I am in that meeting, I'm stressed. Like I'm sitting at my desk, but there's this ring measures stress. And then one hour later I have worked, you know, by myself at the desk, no meetings.

and it just in my own peace and quiet. And And I'm in restorative mode. So basically out of stress mode down to, you know, that peaceful place of like, you are restored. You're, you're, you're good again. You're better. and just by spending some deep work, self care time, I can't believe I'm calling deep work self care, but it is a little bit of self care, isn't it?

So literally just sitting at your desk, nobody's reaching out to you. Nobody wants something from you. Boom, restorative time. You're, you're better now. So that is super, super interesting to me. And the question probably is that this person has is like, how many times during the day can I be in stress mode?

How much of the stress mode is acceptable and is it actually worth it in the end? And this is where I feel like today's tools and technologies can really help us understand, like, how am I experiencing this life and this day? And, how often am I in stress mode? I also feel, you know, this kind of stress mode when I need to present or when I'm socializing with people.

It is wild.and I think that, you know, it can really help us get more of a healthy relationship with these spikes throughout the day, because I certainly think that it is fine for us to have these spikes and be in stress mode, but you can't live there. You need to be really mindful of whenever you were stressed at work, what can you do to then get back into a restored or a, even, you know, into a restorative state, what are the kind of things that help you get back?

How can you make sure that you have potentially just one stress peak a day or every other day? And it's not constant stress. I think that this is what we need to honor as introverts, that we can go out there, we can do the things, we can slay the dragons, but we need to be really mindful of our energy while doing it.

And so, What I'd say to this person is obviously it feels to me like she says it's rewarding and it feels like she's making some subtle changes and she feels like she is being impactful. I would always say look at What you can bring to the table, the impact that you can make. Can you challenge yourself to be even more like yourself in this environment?

Is there anything that you can do to feel more comfortable? Is there anything in these situations in your current job set up, in your current role with this current organization that can help you find the right balance? That inner safe space that you're building. Is there any way that you can bring that to work and access that when you're feeling stressed or just after you're feeling stressed?

And can you make sure that the times that you're stressed are going to be really meaningful? Because I think that's the other thing. When we go out. And we allow ourselves to get stressed to this extent that literally we can feel it in our body. We better make it worth it, right? It'll better be worth it.

Like I'm almost like, because that meeting that makes me so stressed, I'm not sure it's worth it actually.and so whenever I go out and have a big presentation, I feel like I was stressed, but yeah, it was worth it because it was really meaningful. It helped us achieve what we wanted to achieve. It helped us get the message out there.

Another example is, the podcast recording. So I can tell you when I go back and look into my daytime stress, , tonight, I will see this podcast recording and it will be stress mode for me because I am literally sweating, doing this stuff in my own room. There is no reason for me to be.stressed like there is, I'm literally alone at home, I'm in my office, it's getting dark outside, there is no noise, it is just peaceful and calm, but I'm speaking into a microphone and I know that people are going to listen to this.

And I feel stressed. I can't help it. I'm a year into this experience and I still feel stressed recording. I've recorded yesterday. And then after I recorded, I spent some time like at my computer editing and, you know, doing some admin stuff and so on. And I looked at the curve later on my aura ring and I was stressed when I recorded, but then I was in restorative mode when I was editing.

And so this, what does this tell me? It doesn't necessarily tell me to stop recording and edit all the damn day, but it tells me that I should be mindful of, you know, when I'm recording, It takes energy out of me. The more I do this, the better I get, the less stressed I am when I do it. So practice makes it better over time.

And it is worth it in the end, because I get to publish an episode. I get to help somebody think through a challenge that they're currently experiencing. I get to interact with this community. I get to put a piece of content out there that is hopefully going to help, introverts in their careers and build something for themselves that is going to feel really fulfilling and enjoyable.

And so, yeah, I think it's worth it, but at the moment, yeah, it takes me out of my comfort zone and I will have to find something that pulls me down again afterwards. So, yeah, I do appreciate that today was a little bit of a wild Ride and ramble, putting all my thoughts out there, but I feel like at the end of the day, if you find that space inside yourself, that comfort zone, what gets you back into restorative mode and you make sure that whenever you overextend yourself, whenever you step out of your comfort zone, you do it for something that is going to feel meaningful to you that is worth it.

and that moves you closer to where you want to be in your career. And, yeah, make sure it's worth it in the end. I hope that you enjoyed today's episode. If you do have an aura ring and you do want to share with me some of your highs and lows and, yeah, nerd out about what type of things stresses you and what type of thing puts you in restorative mode.

I would love to hear how that works for you. And I, yeah, really appreciate you being here. If you feel like this episode could help anyone else, please send it to them. And yeah, let's stick together during this crazy December pre holiday season. And, I'll see you next week.