1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:00,560 Foreign. 2 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,520 I want you to lean into this word with your heart. 3 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,840 And I really feel like in the next 30 or so minutes that God is 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,080 going to do a work in you. 5 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:26,040 And this isn't just for the fathers, although that is who I wrote 6 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:26,560 it for. 7 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,680 Because not every man here is a father. 8 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,410 But this is for the man men of this church. 9 00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:38,490 And if you're a lady in here today, a girly pop, and you're at 10 00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:44,570 this service, this word is also for you, because I have a responsibility 11 00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:49,930 as the pastor of this church to disciple women who honor men. 12 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:53,490 Cancel me. 13 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:54,090 Okay? 14 00:00:56,570 --> 00:00:58,970 But not this week because it's a little stressful. 15 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:08,600 Next week is fine, but I. I lost my dad in 2018, just shortly 16 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,040 after we planted our church. 17 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,080 Me and him were very close. 18 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:11,960 I had a great dad. 19 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:12,640 I had the best dad. 20 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,720 In fact, I'm wearing his watch today just to honor him. 21 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,680 And you know, he's just the best. 22 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,240 And if I talk anymore, I'll cry. 23 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,440 But just know he's. 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:22,240 He's the goat. 25 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,640 And we're grateful for him. 26 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,880 And I'm grateful for his life and his legacy of faith. 27 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,640 I've preached about him a whole lot and. 28 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,430 And so if you want to hear that, you can lean into those other 29 00:01:30,430 --> 00:01:30,990 sermons. 30 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:35,710 And then I'm married to a man who had a broken relationship with 31 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:36,350 his father. 32 00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:38,910 Really a non existent one, to be honest. 33 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:42,030 And even the one that they had for the short time they had, it was 34 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:47,430 filled with, you know, abuse, neglect, and, you know, just non 35 00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:48,030 existent. 36 00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:49,630 What do they call it? 37 00:01:49,790 --> 00:01:50,590 Complicated. 38 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:55,910 And I like to think of Mike and I on Father's Day. 39 00:01:55,910 --> 00:01:57,870 How many ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? 40 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:02,510 Okay, you know that scene when he's in the war and he's carrying 41 00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:03,510 Lieutenant Dan? 42 00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:04,310 Right. 43 00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:05,670 Are you tracking with me? 44 00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:09,990 And he's traumatized, and Lieutenant Dan doesn't have any limbs. 45 00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,670 That's me and Mike and Father's Day. 46 00:02:12,390 --> 00:02:17,670 And I don't know which one's which, but me and him have learned 47 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:21,630 in our years of marriage over the last, you know, however many 48 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:25,190 years without a dad, and learning about that father wound 49 00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:27,820 after the loss of my own father, my. 50 00:02:28,210 --> 00:02:33,330 And getting new empathy and getting new revelation about how 51 00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:35,810 I interact with him as a spouse. 52 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,290 It's quiet. 53 00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,410 Is this gonna help somebody today? 54 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:49,250 So today I know that there are many sides of this father wound. 55 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:53,090 Mike's been taking us through the father wound. 56 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:57,440 How many just received such rich revelation a few weeks ago when 57 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,760 he preached that sermon? 58 00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,400 Amen. 59 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,200 If you haven't heard it, you need to go back and hear it again. 60 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,880 And if Father's Day is a hard day for you, I would encourage you 61 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,680 to listen to it today. 62 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,160 And you can't have too much Jesus. 63 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:12,760 Amen. 64 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,960 And so I've seen many sides of the father wound. 65 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:20,040 And one thing I've learned is this, is that the condition of a 66 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,080 man's heart affects the condition of his family. 67 00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:28,610 You can't struggle as a father and it not affect the family. 68 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:36,450 And when fathers feel what fathers feel, the home also feels. 69 00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:41,090 And if you had a dad even like mine, who, you know did not hide 70 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,410 his frustration, the dog felt it. 71 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,050 Amen. 72 00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,210 And so what father? 73 00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:47,290 But here's the thing. 74 00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:51,730 So fathers, they're kind of the temperature control of the home. 75 00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:54,220 And what. 76 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:59,100 But it's not just about what fathers feel, because what fathers 77 00:03:59,100 --> 00:03:59,660 heal. 78 00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:01,420 Amen. 79 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:04,460 The home can inherit. 80 00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:11,100 So the Bible gives us a couple of examples, many examples of this. 81 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:14,100 But the one I'm gonna focus on today, and if you were in Manhattan, 82 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:18,220 I shared a little bit about this last week, is three generations. 83 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:22,889 You have Laban, you have Jacob, and you have Joseph. 84 00:04:22,889 --> 00:04:26,529 So you have three men, three different generations, three different 85 00:04:26,529 --> 00:04:27,169 homes. 86 00:04:27,249 --> 00:04:31,529 And how God interacts and what the choices of those men and how 87 00:04:31,529 --> 00:04:33,809 it affects the future legacy. 88 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:35,369 I'm gonna pray. 89 00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:41,129 Lord Jesus, I just thank you for the men of this church and God, 90 00:04:41,129 --> 00:04:44,609 I know that there are many men who are suffering in silence. 91 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:50,780 I know that there are many women who feel hopeless to how to 92 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:54,700 interface with their spouse about this father wound. 93 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:59,820 And so today, Lord, I pray that you would help me preach this 94 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:07,820 message with as much depth as you revealed it to me. 95 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:12,380 And so, Lord, I thank you for what you're going to do in Jesus 96 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:12,700 name. 97 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:13,980 Amen. 98 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:19,260 I'm gonna read a couple chunks of scripture and I would say this 99 00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:21,500 sermon has about five or so points. 100 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,860 And we're gonna first talk about laban. 101 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:25,500 Okay? 102 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:28,180 Genesis 29, 15:30. 103 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:29,700 I'm just gonna read this very quickly. 104 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,620 And I'm reading in the NIV cause it's just easier for me to 105 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:33,500 say, okay. 106 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:35,340 All right. 107 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:40,480 After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said 108 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:44,240 to him, just because you are a relative of mine, should you work 109 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,160 for me for nothing? 110 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,600 Tell me what your wages should be. 111 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,560 And now Laban had two daughters. 112 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,080 The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger 113 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,280 was Rachel. 114 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,119 Leah had weak eyes. 115 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,120 In other words, she ugly. 116 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:08,390 Now, if there's one phrase we're gonna ban at V1 church, don't 117 00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:10,110 be telling people she got weak eyes. 118 00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:12,990 Speak life. 119 00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:16,590 This is Before Botox and all those things. 120 00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,310 Let's not hate on her too much. 121 00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:24,590 But Rachel had a lovely figure. 122 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:25,710 Calm down, Niv. 123 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:29,950 And was beautiful. 124 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:34,030 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, I'll work for you for seven 125 00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:36,590 years in return for your younger daughter Rachel. 126 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:41,370 Laban said, it's better that I give her to you than to some other 127 00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:41,650 man. 128 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,410 Stay here with me. 129 00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:46,050 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but seemed like only 130 00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:49,290 a few days to him because of his love for her. 131 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,930 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave 132 00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:54,370 a feast. 133 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:58,370 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah, Old weak eyes. 134 00:06:58,370 --> 00:06:58,810 Hello. 135 00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:01,570 And brought her to Jacob. 136 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,690 And Jacob laid with her. 137 00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:08,500 And Laban gave his servant to his daughter as an attendant. 138 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,860 And when morning came, there was Leah. 139 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:13,620 We got Leah. 140 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,260 Y' all are supposed to laugh at that. 141 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,100 There was Leah. 142 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:26,780 Can you imagine going through an entire ceremony and realizing 143 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,180 you married the wrong one? 144 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:37,230 So Jacob said to Laman, what have you done to me? 145 00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:40,590 I served you for Rachel, didn't I? 146 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,110 Why have you deceived me? 147 00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:45,750 And Laban replied, it is not our custom here to give the younger 148 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,630 daughter in marriage before the older one. 149 00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:49,630 Finish this daughter's bridal week. 150 00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:53,590 Then you will give the younger one also in return for another seven 151 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:54,430 years of work. 152 00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:56,750 And Jacob did so. 153 00:07:56,750 --> 00:08:00,100 He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his 154 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,980 daughter Rachel to be his wife. 155 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:06,020 Laban gave his servant to his daughter Rachel as her attendant. 156 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:07,980 And Jacob laid with Rachel also. 157 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:11,700 And his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. 158 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,740 And he worked for Laban for another seven years. 159 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:15,380 Here's the thing. 160 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:17,260 Laban was a toxic father. 161 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:23,660 Now in your life, you have either, not everybody, I had a good 162 00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:23,980 dad. 163 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:24,560 But for. 164 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:28,950 For most people, somewhere around your family lineage, you either 165 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:32,630 experience whether it was your own father, a cousin, an uncle, a 166 00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:37,590 grandfather, you have either been a toxic father or you have experienced 167 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:37,830 one. 168 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:38,870 Can I get an amen? 169 00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:41,190 It's been in your proximity. 170 00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,230 You've seen its fruit. 171 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:46,230 So one of the ways that Laban controlled was he changed the wages 172 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:47,030 constantly. 173 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:50,760 He was always changing the way that relation, the way the rules 174 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,520 of engagement for relationships. 175 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,360 He was changing the outcomes. 176 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,280 He was changing the expectations. 177 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,840 And the goal posts were constantly moving for the seven years. 178 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,760 Then he gets a wife swap, then works for another seven years. 179 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:07,760 And when you're dealing with a toxic father, it's never, ever, ever 180 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:08,160 enough. 181 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:15,320 And so if you're like, why can't I just, you know, get past 182 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,800 this thing in my fatherhood, a question that you Might want to ask 183 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,100 yourself is, did I experience a toxic father or mal figure that 184 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,820 have affected the way that I parent my children? 185 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:36,700 Now, Laban was toxic, but Jacob was goofy. 186 00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:45,340 Who gets married and doesn't realize that they married the wrong 187 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:46,780 lady with weak eyes? 188 00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:48,150 The. 189 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:50,550 Have you ever seen a Jewish wedding? 190 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,670 It's wild. 191 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:59,030 I mean, there's dancing and music and layers and symbolism and 192 00:09:59,030 --> 00:09:59,430 there. 193 00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:03,670 And so here's what I think may have happened. 194 00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,510 I think Jacob may have gotten in the wine vat. 195 00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:12,950 I said it's not. 196 00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:13,830 I'm just guessing. 197 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:23,330 And so it's very interesting that the first thing he does after 198 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:27,810 an entire wedding and wedding night is he wakes up in the morning 199 00:10:27,890 --> 00:10:31,570 angry with somebody else who didn't notice. 200 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,850 A lot of people noticed. 201 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:35,810 Are you kidding me? 202 00:10:36,050 --> 00:10:42,890 Not everybody was, you know, well, allegedly, Jacob being drunk 203 00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:43,290 at the wedding. 204 00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:43,810 I don't know. 205 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,050 It's just my two cents. 206 00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:51,290 But how many family members, how many wedding attendants, how 207 00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:55,250 many guests notice that, you know, does he know that he's not 208 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,970 marrying, raped, you know, the old weak guys over there? 209 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,210 But here you think like, oh, I would have said something. 210 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:04,930 Would you, though? 211 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,120 Because when you're in the. 212 00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:11,070 The realm of a toxic leader, a toxic parent, a toxic grandfather, 213 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:14,670 what tends to happen is that the person with the most control, 214 00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:18,270 everybody around them, wants to keep the peace. 215 00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:23,150 And so the truth gets silenced. 216 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:33,130 How much tiptoeing do the family have to do around this, you 217 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:37,650 know, toxic father, this toxic grandfather, this toxic uncle? 218 00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:38,010 Right. 219 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:42,370 How much do we have to, you know, like, you know, are you the 220 00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:45,530 kind of family where you have to strategize before you go in the 221 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,770 house and how you're going to interface with dad? 222 00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:50,330 This is real. 223 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,970 And so we have this situation. 224 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:56,090 But here's the thing. 225 00:11:56,970 --> 00:12:00,970 This is actually something that's generational that Jacob is 226 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:01,930 experiencing. 227 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:06,940 Because the only reason why Jacob is even with Laban is because 228 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,660 just a little bit before, he deceived his brother by an old bait 229 00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:11,260 and switch. 230 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:21,100 So he's walking in a generational curse of favoritism. 231 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:25,020 He's walking in a generational curse of changing the rules. 232 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:28,460 He's walking in a generational curse of toxicity. 233 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,080 And so now the door is open. 234 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,840 Laban was toxic, but he was paying the bills. 235 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,600 He had the control. 236 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,440 Laban was controlling. 237 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,520 But here's the thing. 238 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:48,040 When the home revolves around one person's emotion, everybody has 239 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,000 to tiptoe. 240 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,600 Some of you men may have grown up in a home where the only emotion 241 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,040 that was ever exhibited was fear and anger. 242 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:04,590 Fear you felt silently and Anger was the only thing that taught 243 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:04,910 you. 244 00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:24,030 So Jacob is walking now in generational iniquity. 245 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,240 And how many know that you just keep going around the same mountain? 246 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,480 I tell my kids, if you don't deal with the iniquity, if you don't 247 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,160 deal with the sin, you're going to continue taking the same 248 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,600 test over and over and over until you pass it. 249 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,320 And guess what? 250 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:50,240 If you don't pass it, the next generation will have to take it to 251 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,080 a greater degree. 252 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:59,820 So yeah, if you've grown up with a less than perfect father, 253 00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:03,140 we are subject to disappointment, we are subject to 254 00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:06,780 shame, control, fear, fear of death. 255 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,860 But what do we do with that? 256 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,660 And how do we lead a family when we're living in that? 257 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:15,180 Point number two, it's never about the argument. 258 00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:18,710 Let me read a little further. 259 00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,670 Genesis 31, 1924. 260 00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:27,310 It said then when Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole 261 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:29,190 her father's household gods. 262 00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:31,430 G, O, D, lowercase, okay. 263 00:14:31,430 --> 00:14:32,150 Demonic. 264 00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:37,950 Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban by not telling him he was running 265 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:38,230 away. 266 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:42,870 So now we've got multiple points of deception, multiple points 267 00:14:42,870 --> 00:14:47,050 of generational trauma, multiple points of generational lying 268 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,170 and deception. 269 00:14:51,610 --> 00:14:55,570 So he fled with all he had, crossed the Euphrates river, headed 270 00:14:55,570 --> 00:14:56,810 to the hill for Gilead. 271 00:14:56,970 --> 00:15:02,650 And on the third day, Laban was told that Jacob fled, taking 272 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:04,250 his relatives with him. 273 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:08,690 He pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with them in the 274 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,170 hill country of Gilead. 275 00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:15,510 Do you know how angry you have to be to catch up to somebody with 276 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,390 a three day head start on foot? 277 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:23,870 Man, I tell you what, I was mad on the lie on the way here. 278 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:34,710 And I felt that I was like, you cut me off, I'm gonna catch up. 279 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,160 I'm not saying it was godly. 280 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,560 I'll see you at the altar. 281 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,760 But sometimes anger will give you supernatural endurance. 282 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,280 Supernatural and not godly. 283 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,240 Supernatural, demonic. 284 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:58,320 Supernatural power to have the energy to even put the effort into 285 00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,800 trying to defeat somebody. 286 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:07,870 Can you imagine being so angry that you that that means that he 287 00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:10,550 didn't sleep, he didn't eat, he didn't stop. 288 00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,990 I don't even think he let people go to the bathroom. 289 00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:15,350 I mean, you're catching up on foot. 290 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,270 That's crazy. 291 00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:21,910 So Rachel steals Laban's demonic gods. 292 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:28,630 And so why would a man, why would a grown man with a family, 293 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:33,340 with a, with a property, with children? 294 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:39,620 Why would a grown man chase his daughters, his son in law, his 295 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:44,220 grandchildren over dinky little idols? 296 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,100 Because it wasn't about the idols. 297 00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,260 Sometimes you guys are fighting battles. 298 00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:56,220 Ladies with Your husband about the dishes. 299 00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:00,260 You're fighting battles about the hours at work or the hours at 300 00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:03,210 church or the hours that they're spending on the word. 301 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:07,850 Sometimes you're fighting battles and these little teeny dinky 302 00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:11,210 things that you're spending all your time, all your energy. 303 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:14,730 You know how you just, anybody have just extra energy to fight. 304 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:22,490 It's like you read your Bible for 20 minutes, argue, yes, please. 305 00:17:22,570 --> 00:17:27,460 We're like, I got all day. 306 00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:32,500 It's kind of like those people online that just never give up. 307 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,220 They're posting about, you know, Trump or Biden or what, you 308 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:36,580 know, whatever. 309 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:39,060 And it's just like every day they've got like text threads and 310 00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,100 I'm like, get a job. 311 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,540 Who is posting this much? 312 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:50,180 It's not about the idols. 313 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,940 It was about what they represented. 314 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,300 Laban lost control. 315 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,240 Laban lost security. 316 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,880 Laban lost his identity. 317 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,960 Laban lost his authority. 318 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,200 And many men are sitting in this service today angry, feeling 319 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,200 like they've lost control, they've lost security, they've lost 320 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:10,880 identity. 321 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,640 And sometimes they're fighting battles at work, they're fighting 322 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,600 battles in church, they're fighting battles at home. 323 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,720 And it's never about the Bible study. 324 00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,650 It's not about the dishes. 325 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,610 It's not about the political figure. 326 00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:37,649 Underneath is often anger, hurt, fear, shame, rejection, feeling 327 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:38,410 unseen. 328 00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,090 Laban wasn't just angry. 329 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:41,450 Laban was hurt. 330 00:18:41,610 --> 00:18:44,970 And I'm not empathizing with him because he was crazy as a bedbug, 331 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,160 but he was losing his family, he was losing his influence. 332 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:55,840 He was allowing demons to control and make and allow him to 333 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,360 influence his decisions. 334 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,440 And many men. 335 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,840 I just want to let me break the code for my ladies in here. 336 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:08,160 Many men are actually not controlling because they have control. 337 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,440 They're controlling because they don't have control. 338 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:19,630 I'm not trying to get you to empathize with somebody with that 339 00:19:19,630 --> 00:19:24,670 kind of toxic masculinity, but what I want to at least get you to 340 00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:28,430 understand is behind every anger is wound. 341 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:32,110 Behind every anger is sin. 342 00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:37,550 Behind every generational trauma is a lot of times iniquity, 343 00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,040 abuse, fear. 344 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,600 And so, men, it is so important that you give your whole 345 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,120 life to the Holy Spirit. 346 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,960 You ask the Holy Spirit, should I say this? 347 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,400 You ask the Holy Spirit how to argue? 348 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,400 Yep, I said it. 349 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,600 You could do that. 350 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,800 You know how many times I had to go home prayed up knowing I had 351 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,280 Lululemon bags in the back? 352 00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,170 All right, Lord, just give me the wisdom. 353 00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:09,570 What do I say? 354 00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:16,050 I had a $25 gift card, which only made the bill $200. 355 00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:23,570 Next Point. 356 00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:28,890 And this is where I'm going to just disciple the women and men. 357 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:32,380 You are going to feel so validated for the next few minutes. 358 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,780 Come on, puff up your chest. 359 00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:37,980 Men, ladies, calm down. 360 00:20:39,580 --> 00:20:40,620 I got you. 361 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:40,940 Men. 362 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,220 I got you. 363 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:48,940 Ladies, I'm going to lovingly challenge you with this. 364 00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:56,380 We need to create an environment where men can follow 365 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:57,720 Jesus. 366 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,600 I'm going to read this proverbs to you. 367 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,440 Proverbs 14, 1 3. 368 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:10,080 A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish 369 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,400 one tears her down. 370 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:17,320 Whoever fears the Lord walks uprightly, but those who despise 371 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,320 him are devious in all their ways. 372 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:25,810 A fool's mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect 373 00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:26,130 them. 374 00:21:26,290 --> 00:21:29,010 Ladies, there's a cost to following Jesus. 375 00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:32,690 It's going to cost your man his time. 376 00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:36,050 It's going to cost your man his finances. 377 00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:40,770 It's going to cost him to get invested into the kingdom emotionally. 378 00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:44,090 It's going to cost him some weekends where he goes to the men 379 00:21:44,090 --> 00:21:47,810 of valor retreat and deals with the deep issues of his heart 380 00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:51,050 that for whatever reason, he just can't talk to you about yet 381 00:21:51,050 --> 00:21:54,850 because he needs godly men to cheer him on and say, you can do 382 00:21:54,850 --> 00:21:58,650 it without the guilt of taking out the garbage on a Friday night. 383 00:22:02,810 --> 00:22:04,250 Man in the back said, amen. 384 00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:11,410 There's a cost, ladies. 385 00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:12,810 We cannot have it all. 386 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,170 You cannot have the weekends uninterrupted. 387 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:18,610 You can't have the finances uninterrupted. 388 00:22:18,610 --> 00:22:19,370 You can't have. 389 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,560 You know, every single honey do list checked off the thing. 390 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,280 If you want a man that is sold out to Jesus, you're going to have 391 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,600 to sacrifice some things. 392 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,840 You're going to have to stop the nagging. 393 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,800 Every time he wants to go to his connect group, you're going to. 394 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,360 Come on. 395 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:40,240 We got to create environments that equip men to serve God fully 396 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:41,680 with their whole life. 397 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,040 And I know this because I failed in this area for many years. 398 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,000 You know I would. 399 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,600 You don't talk to me like that. 400 00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:52,540 Well, that's why he don't talk to you, Jules. 401 00:22:54,060 --> 00:23:00,140 That was me talking to myself at some point. 402 00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:06,019 Every man who's going to fulfill God's full destiny for his 403 00:23:06,019 --> 00:23:08,860 life has to fully follow God. 404 00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:11,500 You can't guilt them for working hard. 405 00:23:12,860 --> 00:23:17,300 If you got a man that takes the overtime, give that man a pat 406 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:19,020 on the back and make his lunch. 407 00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:21,100 It was quiet. 408 00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:22,780 Long island didn't like that. 409 00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:27,420 The men are loving it. 410 00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:32,500 We can't guilt them for having godly generosity. 411 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:35,340 We can't guilt them for wanting to serve on the security 412 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:38,540 team or getting involved in the men's ministry. 413 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:44,420 I just have to disciple here for a minute because that may not 414 00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:48,390 be an issue in your home, but I've seen it many, many times in 415 00:23:48,390 --> 00:23:51,510 my lion Pastor exa, where this is an issue in marriage. 416 00:23:52,150 --> 00:23:55,390 Now, granted, there are times where your campus pastor does have 417 00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:58,070 to intervene and say, buddy boy, take a seat. 418 00:23:58,550 --> 00:23:59,750 Go take your wife to. 419 00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:01,910 What's the steakhouse out here? 420 00:24:02,070 --> 00:24:03,670 Prime or something. 421 00:24:04,550 --> 00:24:06,150 I need to go out to eat Applebee's. 422 00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:06,950 I'll take Applebee's. 423 00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:07,670 I'm low maintenance. 424 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,520 But we can't have it all, ladies. 425 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:21,200 We have to understand that our husbands have to follow God. 426 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,960 We have to give them room to pray. 427 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:24,880 We have to give them room to process. 428 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:29,680 We have to take the kids so that they can actually read the Bible. 429 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,120 This is real. 430 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,680 I remember when I would just nag and nag and nag, and one day 431 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,100 the Holy Spirit said, julie, Jules. 432 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:43,740 That's how he talks to me. 433 00:24:43,740 --> 00:24:46,740 Jules, shut up. 434 00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,860 Even God was annoyed. 435 00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:54,980 Shut up, please. 436 00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:02,500 And I'm not saying, ladies, I'm calling you to wear, you know, 437 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,380 dresses and be barefoot in the kitchen. 438 00:25:04,380 --> 00:25:05,860 I haven't cooked all week, girl. 439 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,060 Not a one. 440 00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,740 I mean, my husband's out of town, but I still wouldn't have heaven 441 00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:11,180 anyways. 442 00:25:16,380 --> 00:25:19,180 But when you're constantly trying to. 443 00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:21,980 Because here, man. 444 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,499 Can I say something controversial? 445 00:25:25,180 --> 00:25:29,060 Sometimes in Christian households, the family becomes the 446 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,060 actual idol. 447 00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:35,750 There are times. 448 00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:39,270 Mike, first of all, I want to let you know. 449 00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:40,790 Mike always puts me first. 450 00:25:40,950 --> 00:25:42,950 Always, Always. 451 00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:46,790 If he's out of the country, he puts me first. 452 00:25:46,790 --> 00:25:47,350 If he's. 453 00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:54,430 But what I've learned is sometimes him dedicating time to 454 00:25:54,430 --> 00:25:59,800 the Lord to go fulfill the calling on his life is putting me 455 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,160 first. 456 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,480 And again, you have to be in a church. 457 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,160 You have to be in a connect group to discern when too much is 458 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:12,680 too much. 459 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,640 But I've seen people sacrifice. 460 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,600 It's just like with the parable of the wedding feast, when 461 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,640 the guy's trying to invite all these people to be at the wedding 462 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,000 feast, and one of them says, I just got married. 463 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:25,670 I'm so sorry. 464 00:26:25,670 --> 00:26:26,430 I got to be with. 465 00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:28,030 I got to be with my spouse. 466 00:26:28,270 --> 00:26:33,470 And they missed an encounter with the Lord because they idolized 467 00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:37,710 the time with family instead of having both at the altar. 468 00:26:38,670 --> 00:26:41,709 Bring your bride to the church. 469 00:26:45,790 --> 00:26:47,870 Take that girl to Applebee's after service. 470 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:51,480 Yes. 471 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,040 Here's what spirit filled men need. 472 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,360 These are just a couple things they need. 473 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:02,920 Honor. 474 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,400 Proverbs 13. 475 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,320 One, a wise son heeds his Father's instruction. 476 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,800 But a mocker does not respond to rebukes. 477 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:13,920 They don't need worship. 478 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,440 Although, you know, sometimes I'm like, boo, you are the king. 479 00:27:17,870 --> 00:27:18,910 You know, just in our house. 480 00:27:19,950 --> 00:27:22,030 Okay, you guys, are you uptight or something? 481 00:27:22,430 --> 00:27:23,390 I'm just teasing. 482 00:27:25,630 --> 00:27:26,910 They don't need worship. 483 00:27:28,190 --> 00:27:31,350 They don't need blind agreement or just, you know, whatever 484 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:31,950 you say. 485 00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:33,270 I am your wife. 486 00:27:33,270 --> 00:27:34,670 That's not what we're saying. 487 00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:40,670 But what spirit filled men need is that you trust them to lead 488 00:27:40,670 --> 00:27:42,350 you in the things of God. 489 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:44,690 Let me show you. 490 00:27:45,570 --> 00:27:47,130 Can I just crack the door open? 491 00:27:47,130 --> 00:27:47,730 Into what? 492 00:27:47,890 --> 00:27:49,730 A signorelli marriage. 493 00:27:49,810 --> 00:27:51,970 Men leading example. 494 00:27:52,050 --> 00:27:52,730 Is that okay? 495 00:27:52,730 --> 00:27:53,810 Because this isn't in my notes. 496 00:27:53,970 --> 00:27:58,370 You guys want to see behind the glass, behind the curtain? 497 00:27:59,650 --> 00:28:00,930 This is what it looks like. 498 00:28:02,210 --> 00:28:03,730 Michael, come to me with something. 499 00:28:03,730 --> 00:28:05,930 And sometimes it looks one of two ways. 500 00:28:05,930 --> 00:28:07,410 What do you think about this? 501 00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:09,980 Or it's. 502 00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:12,060 This is what God spoke to me about. 503 00:28:13,580 --> 00:28:19,740 Now when he says, this is what God spoke to me about, I know that 504 00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,780 he is going to be accountable to God if he is wrong. 505 00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:26,220 So when I submit to him, I'm blessed. 506 00:28:26,540 --> 00:28:28,900 Because even if he's wrong, God. 507 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:33,700 I've seen God over and over and over honor me for my agreement 508 00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:33,930 with. 509 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,040 With my spouse. 510 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,920 When he asks me my opinion, sometimes he listens to it and takes 511 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:42,240 it. 512 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,000 Sometimes he listens to it and picks the thing that I really don't 513 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:46,640 want him to do. 514 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,040 But baby, you better believe that after we pray about whatever 515 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,120 that thing is, we walk out of there. 516 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,040 In one mind. 517 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,880 I honor him by not going to my girlfriend and saying, you know, 518 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,500 Mike wants to do this, but girl, I'm just letting you know, 519 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:03,980 if it goes bad, I don't want to do it. 520 00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,420 Domino revival didn't want to do it. 521 00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:08,460 Why? 522 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:09,660 I'm low energy. 523 00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:12,060 You can laugh. 524 00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:14,860 I just. 525 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:15,420 I. 526 00:29:15,740 --> 00:29:16,140 It. 527 00:29:16,460 --> 00:29:21,220 I'm like, it just looks really hard to do a movie and put it in 528 00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:21,620 a thing. 529 00:29:21,620 --> 00:29:24,060 And you know, and then what if people don't go to it? 530 00:29:24,060 --> 00:29:24,380 And. 531 00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:24,860 And I. 532 00:29:24,860 --> 00:29:26,660 And you know what he said? 533 00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:31,120 He said, julie, respectfully, we're doing it anyways. 534 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,680 Well, I was wrong. 535 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:40,200 And I'm so glad that I allowed him to lead that way because how 536 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,400 many thousands and thousands and thousands of suicides were canceled 537 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:45,800 as a result of his. 538 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:46,240 Yes. 539 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:57,950 And so I just wanted to show you both examples because even in 540 00:29:57,950 --> 00:29:58,630 an even. 541 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:02,630 Even if you give your opinion on something and your spouse chooses 542 00:30:02,630 --> 00:30:06,350 something else, you can still have an atmosphere of honor in your 543 00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:06,710 home. 544 00:30:06,950 --> 00:30:10,670 You can still have an atmosphere of reverence and you can 545 00:30:10,670 --> 00:30:11,950 let that man lead. 546 00:30:11,950 --> 00:30:15,110 If God spoke to him, what if he would have listened to me? 547 00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:19,950 And I'm so glad. 548 00:30:19,950 --> 00:30:20,470 You know what? 549 00:30:20,470 --> 00:30:24,390 I tell that story without shame, because that was a great lesson 550 00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:28,790 of trust in our marriage, trust in the Holy Spirit, trust in 551 00:30:28,790 --> 00:30:29,190 God. 552 00:30:29,270 --> 00:30:33,510 And so I don't know, you know, what would have happened if he wouldn't 553 00:30:33,510 --> 00:30:35,670 have done it, but I'm sure glad that he did. 554 00:30:38,390 --> 00:30:40,670 Another thing a man needs is encouragement. 555 00:30:40,670 --> 00:30:44,150 Men often carry burdens silently. 556 00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:49,350 Men do not know sometimes how to ask for help because they're responsible 557 00:30:49,350 --> 00:30:50,230 for the safety. 558 00:30:50,230 --> 00:30:53,560 I thought about this when one time we, you know, kind of went through 559 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,440 our own little safety things with being on the Internet and people 560 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,160 being boneheads, and I don't know if we're allowed to say bonehead, 561 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,040 but I just said it. 562 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,480 It's not bad, right? 563 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,720 It's fine, I guess. 564 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:04,600 Email me. 565 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,480 Better yet, email Pastor Danny. 566 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,640 He'll take all the complaints. 567 00:31:59,131 --> 00:32:02,651 And, you know, there was an element of fear that our family had 568 00:32:02,651 --> 00:32:05,211 to deal with and navigate, and we had to make some decisions about 569 00:32:05,211 --> 00:32:05,531 that. 570 00:32:06,581 --> 00:32:11,181 And one night I was afraid, and I had the thought, I wonder what 571 00:32:11,181 --> 00:32:12,901 Mike does when he's afraid. 572 00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:15,981 Because when I'm afraid and I have the intrusive thought that there's, 573 00:32:15,981 --> 00:32:19,101 you know, somebody who's gonna come in and try to hurt us, my, you 574 00:32:19,101 --> 00:32:24,941 know, superhero belief is that he's gonna punch them in the face 575 00:32:24,941 --> 00:32:27,301 and we're all gonna be saved and everything's gonna be fine. 576 00:32:28,821 --> 00:32:30,501 But what if he's home alone? 577 00:32:30,741 --> 00:32:32,021 Or, like, what if he's scared? 578 00:32:32,021 --> 00:32:33,141 Or what if he gets hurt? 579 00:32:33,221 --> 00:32:36,111 And I understood. 580 00:32:36,111 --> 00:32:40,151 I feel like the Holy Spirit spoke to me in that moment and said, 581 00:32:40,551 --> 00:32:41,991 men get scared. 582 00:32:43,831 --> 00:32:45,031 Men have fear. 583 00:32:45,511 --> 00:32:49,111 Men have feelings and emotions that they're not able to properly 584 00:32:49,111 --> 00:32:50,071 articulate. 585 00:32:50,311 --> 00:32:51,631 And I'm not saying he was. 586 00:32:51,631 --> 00:32:54,031 I'm just saying this was a journey that the Holy Spirit went 587 00:32:54,031 --> 00:32:58,911 on with me, and the Lord took me on a journey of deeper empathy 588 00:32:58,911 --> 00:32:59,751 for my husband. 589 00:33:01,701 --> 00:33:02,901 And some of you just. 590 00:33:03,221 --> 00:33:05,021 Your husband can never be scared. 591 00:33:05,021 --> 00:33:06,421 Your husband can never cry. 592 00:33:06,421 --> 00:33:08,101 Your husband can never be uncertain. 593 00:33:08,581 --> 00:33:13,101 What if you created a space where he was able to share those 594 00:33:13,101 --> 00:33:14,381 burdens with you? 595 00:33:14,381 --> 00:33:18,101 Maybe not on you, but just a vulnerable place where he's able 596 00:33:18,101 --> 00:33:20,821 to say, you know, you are my friend. 597 00:33:22,581 --> 00:33:26,541 Do you know one of the man's greatest needs is for his wife to 598 00:33:26,541 --> 00:33:27,301 be his friend? 599 00:33:28,851 --> 00:33:31,491 Think about how much friendship you have at the marital 600 00:33:31,731 --> 00:33:33,131 part of your dating. 601 00:33:33,131 --> 00:33:34,691 I mean, me and Mike were bff. 602 00:33:34,771 --> 00:33:36,051 We're still bff. 603 00:33:36,131 --> 00:33:39,771 We took, like you know, a six year hiatus on that where we just 604 00:33:39,771 --> 00:33:40,531 hated each other. 605 00:33:41,731 --> 00:33:42,411 Oh, come on. 606 00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:43,411 We've been married 20 years. 607 00:33:43,971 --> 00:33:44,371 Police. 608 00:33:48,931 --> 00:33:50,131 But I just. 609 00:33:50,131 --> 00:33:52,931 It was a revelation that the Holy Spirit gave me that. 610 00:33:53,291 --> 00:33:55,371 Julie, you need to encourage Mike more. 611 00:33:55,611 --> 00:33:58,651 Even if he's not afraid, he needs more encouragement. 612 00:34:01,211 --> 00:34:04,331 Another thing men need is room to lead. 613 00:34:07,451 --> 00:34:10,091 Maybe the Holy Spirit is even speaking to you now. 614 00:34:10,731 --> 00:34:12,771 Remember what I said a few minutes ago when the. 615 00:34:12,771 --> 00:34:15,451 When the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, shut up. 616 00:34:17,291 --> 00:34:19,371 It doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion. 617 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:24,111 It just means that every opinion doesn't necessarily need 618 00:34:24,111 --> 00:34:25,271 to be aired out. 619 00:34:27,031 --> 00:34:29,831 And I remember I'm just gonna be vulnerable sometimes. 620 00:34:30,631 --> 00:34:33,351 You know, I would have an opinion just cause I was bored. 621 00:34:35,911 --> 00:34:38,551 I would just nag on something because I was bored. 622 00:34:38,551 --> 00:34:43,311 And what that did was that degraded his trust in hearing from 623 00:34:43,311 --> 00:34:43,751 the Lord. 624 00:34:43,751 --> 00:34:45,751 He had moments where like, did I hear from God? 625 00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:46,311 I don't know. 626 00:34:46,391 --> 00:34:50,681 And so I've had to go on this journey where I'm like, I want the 627 00:34:50,681 --> 00:34:57,481 Holy Spirit to dwell in our marriage, not just in a service in 628 00:34:57,481 --> 00:34:58,121 our home. 629 00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:06,761 So what does giving room to lead look like? 630 00:35:06,921 --> 00:35:08,841 It looks like repenting first. 631 00:35:10,201 --> 00:35:12,601 It looks like setting the tone. 632 00:35:13,321 --> 00:35:14,441 What is your tone? 633 00:35:14,441 --> 00:35:19,891 When he walks in the door, it looks like choosing humility. 634 00:35:21,491 --> 00:35:23,091 I don't know why you let him talk like that. 635 00:35:24,131 --> 00:35:24,851 Shut up. 636 00:35:26,611 --> 00:35:27,491 Respectfully. 637 00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:33,571 It looks like choosing forgiveness. 638 00:35:34,451 --> 00:35:37,011 It looks like choosing prayer. 639 00:35:39,891 --> 00:35:48,090 What I realized is that men set the temperature of the home. 640 00:35:49,690 --> 00:35:52,010 So wives, we have a lot on us. 641 00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:56,330 And I'll be honest, there are times where it is harder for you 642 00:35:56,570 --> 00:35:59,610 than it is for them in the area of responsibility. 643 00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:00,410 Right? 644 00:36:01,050 --> 00:36:03,890 Like let me tell you, my husband's getting ready to come home 645 00:36:03,890 --> 00:36:04,370 from a trip. 646 00:36:04,370 --> 00:36:05,850 He is not thinking about laundry. 647 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:07,310 I've been thinking about his laundry. 648 00:36:07,381 --> 00:36:08,261 Laundry for three days. 649 00:36:10,021 --> 00:36:10,901 He doesn't care. 650 00:36:11,701 --> 00:36:12,421 He's not thinking. 651 00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:12,701 Is. 652 00:36:12,701 --> 00:36:13,501 Are there grocery. 653 00:36:13,501 --> 00:36:14,981 He literally does not care. 654 00:36:16,101 --> 00:36:16,941 He'll figure it out. 655 00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:18,261 He'll buy new ones at Target. 656 00:36:18,341 --> 00:36:19,301 Like he doesn't even. 657 00:36:19,461 --> 00:36:20,901 He's not even thinking about it. 658 00:36:23,220 --> 00:36:26,421 And so he sets the temperature of our home. 659 00:36:27,461 --> 00:36:32,021 But I want to just paint this picture for you because sometimes 660 00:36:32,021 --> 00:36:36,011 the air conditioner can be on, but if you put a space heater in 661 00:36:36,011 --> 00:36:39,571 there, it's confusion for your AC system. 662 00:36:46,851 --> 00:36:52,371 Sometimes we have to determine and contribute to the temperature 663 00:36:52,531 --> 00:36:53,451 that our husband. 664 00:36:53,451 --> 00:36:55,291 And I'm talking about a godly husband. 665 00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:56,691 I'm not talking about a laban. 666 00:36:56,691 --> 00:36:58,371 I'm talking about a godly husband. 667 00:36:58,451 --> 00:37:03,621 Sometimes we have to get in partnership with our spouse to Say, 668 00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:05,581 oh, you're trying to lead a godly family. 669 00:37:05,581 --> 00:37:07,261 I'm going to come into agreement with you. 670 00:37:07,981 --> 00:37:11,301 I'm not going to turn the heater on when you got the AC blowing 671 00:37:11,301 --> 00:37:12,501 or vice versa. 672 00:37:12,501 --> 00:37:14,181 I'm going to get into agreement with you. 673 00:37:14,181 --> 00:37:16,741 And so one of the things that when my husband was trying to be 674 00:37:16,741 --> 00:37:20,581 a godly man is, you know, he didn't, you know, we were working 675 00:37:20,581 --> 00:37:21,421 through a lot of issues. 676 00:37:21,501 --> 00:37:25,351 Bella was just a toddler, and I remember hearing his tell tires 677 00:37:25,351 --> 00:37:25,991 pull on the. 678 00:37:25,991 --> 00:37:27,111 We had a gravel driveway. 679 00:37:27,111 --> 00:37:28,791 Indiana, Indiana activities. 680 00:37:28,791 --> 00:37:29,431 Okay? 681 00:37:30,231 --> 00:37:31,311 We had a gravel driveway. 682 00:37:31,311 --> 00:37:35,511 And when his tires would pull up on the gravel for a couple of 683 00:37:35,511 --> 00:37:36,311 years, I just. 684 00:37:36,311 --> 00:37:38,911 My heart would sink because I knew he was going to come in angry, 685 00:37:38,911 --> 00:37:40,391 he was going to come in frustrated. 686 00:37:40,870 --> 00:37:44,551 And I decided that when he made a turn to serve the Lord, I 687 00:37:44,551 --> 00:37:48,831 was going to be a partner and create an ungodly environment so 688 00:37:48,831 --> 00:37:50,911 that he could fill the destiny that God has for him. 689 00:37:50,911 --> 00:37:53,431 And so what we would do, whether he deserved it or not, is 690 00:37:53,431 --> 00:37:55,631 when he walked through the door, we begin to chant. 691 00:37:55,631 --> 00:37:58,351 And I don't know why it was this phrase, but this was our phrase. 692 00:37:58,831 --> 00:38:01,791 Because Evie was, or Bella was just a toddler. 693 00:38:02,271 --> 00:38:06,431 We would chant daddy D, Daddy D. I don't know, it was just something 694 00:38:06,431 --> 00:38:07,791 she could say over and over. 695 00:38:08,031 --> 00:38:12,751 And we would cheer every single day when he would walk in. 696 00:38:13,391 --> 00:38:16,131 And it changed the whole temperature of. 697 00:38:16,281 --> 00:38:16,761 Of our home. 698 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:17,761 We did it for years. 699 00:38:17,761 --> 00:38:18,641 We still do it. 700 00:38:18,641 --> 00:38:19,681 When don't we, Evie? 701 00:38:19,681 --> 00:38:21,081 When Daddy comes home, we'll cheer. 702 00:38:21,161 --> 00:38:23,161 Daddy D, Daddy. 703 00:38:23,161 --> 00:38:27,121 You know, cuz now Evie's older and we told her the story, but somebody 704 00:38:27,121 --> 00:38:28,761 has to be the redeemer. 705 00:38:33,241 --> 00:38:38,561 So our sins, our iniquity, can be passed down, but our healing can 706 00:38:38,561 --> 00:38:40,041 be inherited. 707 00:38:44,371 --> 00:38:50,691 Jacob escaped Laban, but he brought some of Laban with him. 708 00:38:53,971 --> 00:38:55,491 Wounds travel. 709 00:38:56,131 --> 00:38:58,251 Oh, we're just gonna pick up and move south. 710 00:38:58,251 --> 00:38:58,851 Guess what? 711 00:38:58,851 --> 00:39:00,531 Your wounds are moving right with you. 712 00:39:00,691 --> 00:39:02,171 We're gonna go to a different church. 713 00:39:02,171 --> 00:39:02,691 Guess what? 714 00:39:02,691 --> 00:39:04,051 Your wounds are gonna be there too. 715 00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:05,891 Oh, we're gonna get a different job. 716 00:39:05,891 --> 00:39:06,331 Guess what? 717 00:39:06,331 --> 00:39:07,491 Your wounds are gonna be there. 718 00:39:07,491 --> 00:39:08,771 I'm gonna get a different wife. 719 00:39:08,771 --> 00:39:09,141 Guess what. 720 00:39:09,291 --> 00:39:09,411 What? 721 00:39:09,411 --> 00:39:10,211 Your wounds are going to be there. 722 00:39:10,211 --> 00:39:11,531 I'm going to divorce my husband. 723 00:39:11,531 --> 00:39:11,971 Guess what? 724 00:39:11,971 --> 00:39:14,251 Your wounds are in the home already waiting for you. 725 00:39:16,971 --> 00:39:19,371 Wounds travel faster than money. 726 00:39:22,571 --> 00:39:26,651 And so you can leave a toxic environment, but still carry the 727 00:39:26,651 --> 00:39:27,531 toxicity. 728 00:39:31,051 --> 00:39:35,131 But there was a man who broke this cycle, and it was Joseph. 729 00:39:36,271 --> 00:39:37,631 Joseph was Jacob's son. 730 00:39:37,631 --> 00:39:39,471 You know, Joseph, the coat of many colors. 731 00:39:40,991 --> 00:39:42,991 Joseph enters the story. 732 00:39:43,151 --> 00:39:47,991 And Jacob's son, who he favored, another generational, you 733 00:39:47,991 --> 00:39:53,431 know, another generational sin of favoritism in his family throws 734 00:39:53,431 --> 00:39:54,031 his son. 735 00:39:54,271 --> 00:39:55,631 He was left to die. 736 00:39:55,951 --> 00:40:00,991 Joseph received rejection, betrayal, false accusation, almost 737 00:40:01,061 --> 00:40:01,691 d death. 738 00:40:01,851 --> 00:40:03,851 Yet Joseph becomes different. 739 00:40:04,091 --> 00:40:07,691 He refuses to pass down what was given to him. 740 00:40:07,771 --> 00:40:12,051 And instead of revenge, he gives forgiveness instead of bitterness, 741 00:40:12,051 --> 00:40:14,611 he gives healing instead of wounds. 742 00:40:14,611 --> 00:40:17,131 He gives blessing to the next generation. 743 00:40:17,531 --> 00:40:18,971 Laban passed control. 744 00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:22,011 Jacob passed wounds and favoritism. 745 00:40:22,251 --> 00:40:26,171 But Joseph passed a blessing into the next generation. 746 00:40:26,491 --> 00:40:29,501 Every father passes is something you have to determine. 747 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:33,861 Am I going to pass freedom into my home and wives? 748 00:40:33,861 --> 00:40:38,101 We gotta partner and say I'm gonna contribute to an atmosphere 749 00:40:38,101 --> 00:40:39,021 of freedom. 750 00:40:43,021 --> 00:40:44,741 I want you guys to stand with me. 751 00:40:44,741 --> 00:40:47,821 We're gonna go into the next few minutes and locations. 752 00:40:47,901 --> 00:40:49,901 I want you to stay in with me. 753 00:40:50,701 --> 00:40:53,541 And I know we're gonna go a couple minutes over, but I feel like 754 00:40:53,541 --> 00:40:58,161 this is so important for the next few minutes, this scripture. 755 00:40:58,161 --> 00:40:59,191 In Ephesians 6. 756 00:40:59,251 --> 00:41:02,961 1, we're going to go into a few minutes of just repentance and 757 00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:04,561 asking the Lord for forgiveness. 758 00:41:04,561 --> 00:41:08,321 So we're not getting that iniquity into the next generation. 759 00:41:08,961 --> 00:41:10,801 The Bible says in Ephesians 6. 760 00:41:10,801 --> 00:41:14,401 One, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is 761 00:41:14,401 --> 00:41:14,721 right. 762 00:41:14,881 --> 00:41:19,921 If you have been disobedient, whether you are an adult child, whether 763 00:41:19,921 --> 00:41:24,641 you are a elite generation whose parents are still alive, if 764 00:41:24,641 --> 00:41:28,841 you are a teenager, the Bible says that we need to repent. 765 00:41:29,161 --> 00:41:32,921 When we brought dishonor in our home, we need to pray right now. 766 00:41:34,521 --> 00:41:38,481 If you need to repent, maybe it's, you know, nasty posts you made 767 00:41:38,481 --> 00:41:40,121 about your parent on the Internet. 768 00:41:40,121 --> 00:41:43,241 Maybe it's gossip that you've been doing with your siblings. 769 00:41:43,401 --> 00:41:45,801 Maybe it's gossip that you've been doing with your family. 770 00:41:46,161 --> 00:41:50,841 I don't care what they did did to you, you have to repent for your 771 00:41:50,841 --> 00:41:51,161 part. 772 00:41:51,161 --> 00:41:51,761 Do you understand? 773 00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:56,681 Doesn't make whatever they did okay, but you have to repent for 774 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:57,521 your disobedience. 775 00:41:57,521 --> 00:41:59,441 Maybe you've been a rebellious child. 776 00:42:02,161 --> 00:42:03,081 Let's do it now. 777 00:42:03,081 --> 00:42:05,361 Come on, just take a few minutes at every location. 778 00:42:05,361 --> 00:42:06,481 Just start repenting. 779 00:42:06,481 --> 00:42:08,801 Lord, I repent for my disobedience. 780 00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:12,241 I repent of the sin against my mother and father. 781 00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:14,741 And Lord, I ask for you to forgive me. 782 00:42:22,021 --> 00:42:23,781 Come on, children, let's get free. 783 00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:28,421 Lord, forgive me of my disobedience. 784 00:42:28,501 --> 00:42:30,181 Forgive me of my dishonor. 785 00:42:36,821 --> 00:42:37,661 Now to the women. 786 00:42:37,661 --> 00:42:40,741 We're just going to stay in this posture of prayer and repentance. 787 00:42:41,451 --> 00:42:47,931 I want to ask the women of this church if you have Been a wife 788 00:42:48,011 --> 00:42:49,531 that has caused strife. 789 00:42:50,091 --> 00:42:53,051 The Bible says that strife is like witchcraft. 790 00:42:53,691 --> 00:42:57,010 If you've tried to bring strife over serving the Lord, if 791 00:42:57,010 --> 00:43:00,851 you've tried to bring strife over their commitment into the house 792 00:43:00,851 --> 00:43:03,731 of God, or maybe you've tried to bring strife over the past things 793 00:43:03,731 --> 00:43:05,611 that you've already forgiven women. 794 00:43:05,611 --> 00:43:06,531 We're going to repent. 795 00:43:06,601 --> 00:43:07,481 Repent now. 796 00:43:07,721 --> 00:43:09,001 Come on, just start praying. 797 00:43:09,001 --> 00:43:10,441 Lord Jesus, right now. 798 00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:14,841 We repent for any unnecessary strife that we brought into the home, 799 00:43:14,921 --> 00:43:18,161 even if it was from resentment, even if it was from wounds 800 00:43:18,161 --> 00:43:19,241 of infidelity. 801 00:43:19,401 --> 00:43:22,201 Lord, we release them now in the name of Jesus. 802 00:43:22,761 --> 00:43:23,121 God. 803 00:43:23,121 --> 00:43:27,321 We are going to be a group of godly women at this church that pray 804 00:43:27,321 --> 00:43:30,841 for the men of our church, that encourage the men of our church, 805 00:43:30,921 --> 00:43:33,021 that stand with the men of our church church. 806 00:43:33,021 --> 00:43:37,141 And many are carrying battles that we have never fully will understand 807 00:43:37,381 --> 00:43:38,021 or see. 808 00:43:38,261 --> 00:43:39,301 But God, we. 809 00:43:39,301 --> 00:43:41,941 We commit to the power of prayer. 810 00:43:41,941 --> 00:43:45,541 We will fight our battles in prayer and not against each other. 811 00:43:46,661 --> 00:43:48,341 Women, do you commit to that? 812 00:43:51,621 --> 00:43:57,661 And to the fathers, and this is really just to the men in general, 813 00:43:57,661 --> 00:43:59,501 the boys, boys, teenagers. 814 00:43:59,901 --> 00:44:05,981 If you've carried father wounds, if you've been a toxic father, 815 00:44:07,261 --> 00:44:11,461 if you've been a manipulative spouse, if you've been a controlling 816 00:44:11,461 --> 00:44:15,541 spouse, or maybe you've just been withdrawn, you haven't been 817 00:44:15,541 --> 00:44:21,901 able to allow the Lord to heal you in the areas of emotions God 818 00:44:21,901 --> 00:44:22,861 wants to heal you. 819 00:44:22,861 --> 00:44:24,461 Come on, let's just repent now. 820 00:44:24,781 --> 00:44:27,541 If that's you and there's just some repenting that you need to do, 821 00:44:27,541 --> 00:44:30,541 we're going to take the next few minutes and do that. 822 00:44:30,541 --> 00:44:31,421 Lord Jesus. 823 00:44:31,741 --> 00:44:33,341 We repent of our anger. 824 00:44:33,981 --> 00:44:35,261 We repent of our control. 825 00:44:35,341 --> 00:44:37,101 We repent of our manipulation. 826 00:44:44,701 --> 00:44:49,021 The last thing I want to pray is that there's a spirit of death 827 00:44:49,581 --> 00:44:52,721 that is trying to attack the men of this generation. 828 00:44:53,521 --> 00:44:56,801 And I didn't fully understand this, but I remember when Mike and 829 00:44:56,801 --> 00:45:01,361 I were working in the early stages of our broken marriage. 830 00:45:01,681 --> 00:45:04,241 I went into the pastor's office and I gave. 831 00:45:04,241 --> 00:45:07,400 I mean, I was like all the things that Mike did wrong. 832 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,441 This, this, this, this, this. 833 00:45:08,441 --> 00:45:10,001 I had a paper, I had it all written. 834 00:45:10,001 --> 00:45:11,841 You know, love doesn't keep record of wrongs, girl. 835 00:45:11,841 --> 00:45:14,001 I had a notebook, a whole notebook. 836 00:45:15,121 --> 00:45:17,641 And I was reading off thing by thing by thing by thing by thing. 837 00:45:17,641 --> 00:45:20,261 And he just let me go and let me talk and let me get it out. 838 00:45:20,261 --> 00:45:20,361 And. 839 00:45:20,671 --> 00:45:21,871 And then he said, you know what? 840 00:45:22,351 --> 00:45:24,911 He said, I want you to look your husband in the eye. 841 00:45:25,951 --> 00:45:28,271 And he said, he's guilty of all those things. 842 00:45:29,551 --> 00:45:33,631 But he's got a hole the size of a train in his chest. 843 00:45:37,551 --> 00:45:42,311 And I'm telling you, the compassion of the Lord didn't excuse 844 00:45:42,311 --> 00:45:43,031 what happened. 845 00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:47,421 But the passion, the compassion of God just begin to well 846 00:45:47,501 --> 00:45:52,301 up inside of me and I begin to deal with unforgiveness. 847 00:46:00,221 --> 00:46:01,461 Philippians 1:6. 848 00:46:01,461 --> 00:46:05,741 It says, Being confident of this, that he who began a good work 849 00:46:05,741 --> 00:46:08,701 in you will carry it on to completion. 850 00:46:08,781 --> 00:46:11,341 This is not just a Father's Day sermon. 851 00:46:11,341 --> 00:46:14,501 This is a life and death message. 852 00:46:16,661 --> 00:46:20,661 Nearly 80% of suicide deaths in America are men. 853 00:46:20,661 --> 00:46:21,861 That wrecked me. 854 00:46:22,501 --> 00:46:25,941 Men die by suicide approximately four times more than 855 00:46:25,941 --> 00:46:26,261 women. 856 00:46:26,581 --> 00:46:30,501 Women often report more suicidal ideations and attempts, 857 00:46:30,501 --> 00:46:33,301 but men are more likely to die from them. 858 00:46:36,021 --> 00:46:38,541 Now, I'm just speaking to the women of our church. 859 00:46:38,541 --> 00:46:41,101 Married, unmarried, single, young, old. 860 00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:47,101 The empathy of women in this church needs to increase. 861 00:46:47,741 --> 00:46:52,901 For our men, it doesn't mean that we're responsible to heal wounds 862 00:46:52,901 --> 00:46:57,221 we didn't make, but we can create environments where it becomes 863 00:46:57,221 --> 00:47:01,261 easier to experience God, that when they come to us with repentance, 864 00:47:01,421 --> 00:47:02,861 that our heart is open. 865 00:47:02,861 --> 00:47:06,431 When they come to us in their weakness, we're giving encouragement 866 00:47:06,431 --> 00:47:11,631 and not giving them any shame for how they feel when they're scared. 867 00:47:11,631 --> 00:47:16,071 We're able to take their fear and lift it up to the Lord or call 868 00:47:16,071 --> 00:47:18,711 on the men of our church to surround them with support. 869 00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:20,391 Can I get an amen, ladies? 870 00:47:22,071 --> 00:47:25,991 Sometimes women, you can be picking a scab and not realize there's 871 00:47:25,991 --> 00:47:27,591 a fatal wound underneath. 872 00:47:29,991 --> 00:47:32,231 That's why I said it's not about the dishes. 873 00:47:36,581 --> 00:47:39,781 And I know this could go both ways, but guess what? 874 00:47:39,781 --> 00:47:41,141 It is not Mother's Day. 875 00:47:41,141 --> 00:47:42,061 It's Father's Day. 876 00:47:42,061 --> 00:47:47,781 And maybe I'll say this to the men on Mother's Day, but my assignment 877 00:47:47,781 --> 00:47:51,301 today is to encourage the men of this church. 878 00:47:52,581 --> 00:47:56,421 And so by doing that, I have to disciple the women of this church. 879 00:47:58,431 --> 00:48:02,431 And so I know this is a tough call, especially being in a liberal 880 00:48:03,071 --> 00:48:05,791 region like some of our locations are. 881 00:48:06,271 --> 00:48:08,111 But men suffer silently. 882 00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:09,551 Many have not. 883 00:48:09,791 --> 00:48:12,191 They don't understand how to express pain. 884 00:48:12,591 --> 00:48:15,551 Many know how to provide, but they don't know how to be vulnerable. 885 00:48:15,551 --> 00:48:18,951 Many carry burdens, but don't know how to share burdens. 886 00:48:18,951 --> 00:48:23,031 And when the pain doesn't have a voice, it becomes anger in the 887 00:48:23,031 --> 00:48:23,311 home. 888 00:48:26,591 --> 00:48:30,511 And so what we're going to do right now is we're going to pray. 889 00:48:31,551 --> 00:48:35,231 And if you have a man around you, he doesn't have to be a dad. 890 00:48:36,191 --> 00:48:37,711 And don't be weird, ladies. 891 00:48:38,111 --> 00:48:40,111 Single ladies, don't be weird. 892 00:48:41,391 --> 00:48:42,271 And you don't even. 893 00:48:42,431 --> 00:48:43,991 Not everybody likes to be touched. 894 00:48:43,991 --> 00:48:48,191 But if you could just stretch your hand towards the man closest 895 00:48:48,191 --> 00:48:48,751 to you. 896 00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:52,281 Men, we're gonna pray for you for the next few minutes. 897 00:48:52,601 --> 00:48:53,561 Is that okay? 898 00:48:55,001 --> 00:48:57,881 Father, we pray for the men of this church. 899 00:48:58,281 --> 00:49:00,921 We break agreement with hopelessness. 900 00:49:01,161 --> 00:49:03,561 We break agreement with isolation. 901 00:49:03,961 --> 00:49:05,961 We break agreement with shame. 902 00:49:06,201 --> 00:49:09,801 We break agreement with every lie that says a man has to carry 903 00:49:09,801 --> 00:49:11,081 every burden alone. 904 00:49:11,321 --> 00:49:16,071 And in the name of Jesus, we break the power of and spirit of 905 00:49:16,071 --> 00:49:18,351 death over the men of this church. 906 00:49:18,751 --> 00:49:21,711 We declare life over fathers. 907 00:49:21,791 --> 00:49:24,511 We declare life over husbands. 908 00:49:24,591 --> 00:49:26,991 We declare life over sons. 909 00:49:27,071 --> 00:49:29,711 We declare life over grandfathers. 910 00:49:30,031 --> 00:49:33,231 God, we just pray that every wound be healed. 911 00:49:33,391 --> 00:49:37,471 Restore every single place that has been broken. 912 00:49:37,711 --> 00:49:42,021 And Lord, we call the men to rise up, up who are spirit filled, 913 00:49:42,261 --> 00:49:47,381 humble, create, courageous and full of the power of the Holy Ghost. 914 00:49:47,701 --> 00:49:52,541 May they be like Joseph, who brings a new generation of blessing 915 00:49:52,541 --> 00:49:53,621 and promise. 916 00:49:53,781 --> 00:49:56,181 In Jesus, mighty name we pray. 917 00:49:56,181 --> 00:49:56,661 Amen. 918 00:49:56,661 --> 00:49:58,581 Come on, I want you just to sing it out. 919 00:49:59,381 --> 00:49:59,941 Come on. 920 00:50:00,261 --> 00:50:01,301 Raise your hands. 921 00:50:01,781 --> 00:50:02,901 Raise your hands. 922 00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:05,701 We declare life. 923 00:50:05,781 --> 00:50:07,211 Life, life, life.