Transcript:

Welcome to the soviet life the podcast where we travel back in time to see what life was really like in the former soviet union not only to see what life was like but to also see how it impacted our life today and not only the life of those who lived in that territory but the whole world today i'm honored to introduce a very special guest Anna Viktorovna Beryakova Anna Viktorovna grew up in Moscow in the 70s

She graduated with honors from Plekhanov Institute of National Economy, was a degree in accounting and auditing. Then she moved to the States in 1991. Anna Viktorovna, welcome to the show. How are you today? Hello, my name is Anna Beryakova and I'm ready to start. Yes, to talk about your life. So you were here in 91. That was just before we hear...

Before or after the fall of the Soviet Union? Okay. I came here in August of 1991, just two weeks before the Soviet Union collapsed. Wow. So how did you find out? Tell me, what were your feelings? How did you get the news? Was it shocking? I bet it was shocking. Right. So at that time I lived in the apartment building with my future husband. At that moment, my boyfriend.

And his brother, so the brother was really, ⁓ he's a friend ⁓ with everybody in the building. So when I just arrived, he let everybody know that there's a girl coming from the Soviet Union. was going to stay with my, with my- And then your husband- My boyfriend at that time, yeah. He was ⁓ born in the United States, but he was like a third generation Russian. And I have to know this.

He speaks perfect, immaculate Russian. When I met him, I was just shocked to find out from me just recently that he is actually ⁓ not from the Soviet Union directly, that he was born here in America. So kudos to him. York, yes. Third generation, yes, that's right. ⁓ so I stayed here for two weeks. ⁓ And when it happened, I didn't know because I like to sleep late. So I woke up pretty late.

And somebody, because somebody was knocking in the door, it was a neighbor lady, the old lady, who actually came to our place. ⁓ And she wants to let everybody know that something happened. We have to turn our TV on because the Soviet Union is collapsing right now. And I know you have a girl from Soviet Union or Russia or Moscow, they mentioned before.

I was coming, so she saw me, she talked to me a little bit because I didn't speak English at that time. And you have to turn your TV on because there's something happening. So we turned TV on and we, the whole family and me found out that that was a coup. The Soviet Union is collapsing. The thing is changing a lot. And I start crying because I didn't know what to do. I came here, I didn't know why I came here for fun.

or maybe to study or maybe get married or maybe not. So ⁓ at that time, I was thinking, should I stay or should I go? And ⁓ I called my parents and it was hard to actually reach them because at that time we didn't have a cell phone, no internet. So I have to call a few times before we got connected. And you know what, the first thing I heard from my mom was saying, you know what,

don't even think to come back. You have to settle down. If you were thinking before, we were all thinking, should you stay, should you go to school, studying abroad? This sounds so familiar. When I came here in 96 and I was up to the collapse and it was a chaos. It was years of chaos. I left in 96, I don't know how long it was a chaos. I want to say probably for a long time. I had my mom get me on the train when I was...

taking off to travel from Minsk to Moscow. So she gave me a big hug and said, look, don't even think about coming back. I know it's kind of crude for your mother to say that, but I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm not alone. Was it a cruel thing to I think it was. I was 16 then, so now I was older, of course, I understand 100%. But I'm glad I'm not alone at least. She's not the only mom who gave it the boot out. But get out of here, this girl.

to a lot of people. So we were thinking and talking it over and I decided to stay even though I was crying at that time because I didn't know what to do with my life. knew what was going on honestly. Did you ever think this would happen? Was it kind of clear that it was coming? No, really. ⁓ So it sounds like nobody knew. The country I left was pretty stable. Yes.

There was a two weeks ago. was stable and two weeks later it's gone. The country is gone. There's no more Soviet Union. Plus I was young. I didn't think about politics. So I didn't really care. You know how the young people are. don't really care about politics that much. Back then it was so, so political, much. The politics was so bureaucratic. Just the acronyms were so many acronyms. I remember taking classes at high school and it was just such a nightmare. Just taking the history class and learning about, ⁓ part com and, and.

You just sit there and have to memorize all those acronyms and there were so many of them. It was just a huge Argyros bureaucratic machine that I don't think anybody willingly would want to sit there and understand. Of course you did it because you had to pass the exam. As soon as you passed the exam, it all got dumped out of your brain as fast as possible. And there was so much on TV that you start to ignoring it completely because when it's something of too many things going on, start to...

Tune it out. Wow. It was mind-boggling for me too. Nobody knew what was going on. What was your thought about Gorbachev and Perestroika coming in? How did your family feel about that? They actually believed in Perestroika and Gorbachev. They believed there's going to be changes and changes are going to take place in a good, better direction. So the life would be better.

And they were like, honestly, and naively, naive to believe that, yeah, the change is up for better. And like I said, I didn't really pay that much attention. I said, okay, if my parents believe in that, that means, okay, I also believe in that. but...

What was on my mind at that time is like, should I study? What major should I take? And I love ⁓ dancing, discotheques. So should I go this club or that club? Exactly. No need to worry about politics. Who cares about Every time you turn TV or radio on, it was politics inside politics. did you have a lot of war movies? In Moscow and in Moscow we had like war movie after war movie. War movie, yes. And my boss, I was 18 or 19.

many at that time, she was so much into politics. she constantly talk about it and bring people over to the office, discuss what's going on right now. She knew the details and I was like, you know what? I wonder if she was KGB agent, making sure you're staying straight and your mind is ⁓ going in the right direction. Anyway, we will never know. We will never know. That is for sure. Let's talk about how you were.

Growing up in the Soviet Union, just some memories. What was your life like? Okay. So I'm from Moscow and I was the only child in the family. Growing up in Moscow in 70s with a dog and a cat, two sets of grandparents and one great-grandmother. All in one apartment? No, they live close by. So every time I feel like I...

don't like my parents anymore. I could leave my apartment and go and stay with my grandparents over night or weekends. I'm jealous. Mine were far, far away. I'd have to take overnight train to get there. Yeah, they live close by. So it was pretty boring at that apartment because the only thing my grandmother did is cook. She cooked all the time. So ⁓ right now I'm kind of glad I was watching her cooking.

She never allowed me to help, but ⁓ I was watching her cooking. So now I know how to cook. So I'm glad I did. Even though she didn't cook with you. She's like, no, stay away and just observe. It's same with me. My mom would never, I not never. I never asked first of all, but she never like made me cook. And a couple of times when I kind of like looked, she just said, go read a book and study. So that was the answer. Go study. I did my homework. Well, go read some more. Go do next chapter for tomorrow. ⁓

But my grandfather liked to international news on TV. And because of him, he was like a very calm and nice individual. Loves me so much. was the only granddaughter. And we watched this, you know, channel together, the news channel together. There was actually only two channels at that time. Not like right now, it's over 300, I believe. But at that time, was only two channels. So we watched this black and white TV.

and international news and I was so involved. I'm surprised they had international news too. International panorama. It was fairly new. Every time the music on I'm there, the volume on and watching this news and we talk about this international news. Grandpa, what's going on? I ask him in the world. He's like, okay, there's a lot of wars going on here and there. So we talk and I get used to loving.

international news and I still do. was, it was a pretty good and stable and probably the most happiest time of your life. Yeah. Time of my life because, um, it was nothing, nothing, nothing was changing. Everything was pretty much the stability. You had like grocery store nearby. could walk to one actually down stairs. You go downstairs, you cross the street, which is just a few feet really. And it's

your grocery stores right there. Although when I was there, was not much in the grocery store. was pretty bare when I was there. Did you have a lot of food? Just like basics? Basics, yeah. And was a little different because it's a capital. And it was not that a of varieties of the same type of food. But there was a cheese and one kind of cheese, one kind of two kinds of.

kebabsas and one little cafeteria downstairs. So that was enough for me at the age of, I don't know, 11, 13. Did you ever travel to the country? I've never been abroad actually. Well, out of the country meaning into the villages, like out of the city. of the city, into the country. Yes. Countryside. summer we have a dacha place, means we have a little house outside of the Moscow.

⁓ made of logs. We have ⁓ next to the lake. so every summer I go there and stay there for three months with a little exception when my parents, my young parents, they had me in the early twenties. So they were still young when I was in my like 10, 11 years old. So when they decided to travel, go to different cities or

little small republics at that time, now different countries. So they decided to take me and there was the only exception. I leave my dacha place and actually go to this, now they call them multi-countries. We did a lot of camping, stay in a tent. Were you happy you were there? You'd be a dacha. Would you rather be a dacha? No, it's different to be with the grandparents and be with the young parents of mine.

So they were cool and we went fishing and ⁓ camping and ⁓ went to different small cities, Lithuania, Latvia. So was by the lake in the camping, meeting a lot of young people. was everybody nice? There was no animosity between somebody who was from Russia? Actually, no. was ⁓ so friendly to each other. Everybody's so friendly, help each other, help to set up the camp or help with the food.

fishing. I just want to let the audience know that the Baltic States, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania were joined the Soviet Union after World War II, where all the other republics were integrated ⁓ in 1920s when Soviet Union was originally formed, but the Baltic States joined after World War II. now they're of the NATO. Now they're part of the NATO, yes. And they were the first ones to separate too. So at that time, in my childhood, at 70s, everything was different. People were very friendly.

And ⁓ I remember, I remember from my childhood is ⁓ the neighbors of my grandparents were from Tatarstan. It's still part of the Russia. So, and from people from different religion and different cities and states and republics, they came to Moscow to work for the plants and factories. So they were recruiting people from different ⁓ countries and cities to stay in Moscow and work for them, you know, as a workers.

plants and factories. So everybody tried to be, or were very friendly, invite other people over their apartments, show them the cultural things like something different, the way they cook. Actually invite them for the dinners or lunches, have different types of food together. Yes, I never ever felt any animosity when I was there from anywhere.

And we had people coming from all different areas to even in Minsk that I met. So it is funny how even now here, I mean, if I meet somebody from, have a good friend from Latvia, no, not an issue. Although now if I hear somebody from Moscow, like today was to go to Latvia, Baltic states, they probably would get a little bit of a cold shoulder. Again, I'm not there to know. What I want to say is neighbors at that days.

or back in Soviet Union were much different than the neighbors I have here right now. We've been living here on this street here in Virginia, in Fairfax County for, I would say, almost 25 years. And ⁓ I don't know my neighbors that well. I never been almost, never been in their houses. So every morning, every night, we're just saying hi to each other. That's about it. Comparing with the...

and back in 70s, back in Soviet Union, we actually knew each other. We know what's going on inside of the family. People never kept secrets from each other. They help each other. And if they see me as a child or some other kids misbehaving, they call their parents at work or let the teacher or principal of the school close by or the school we used to go know that something...

It was up. Yes. And it was normal, you know, so, you know, I remember we had this big skyscraper in Minsk too. was right in the middle of Minsk and there'll be this grandma sitting on the bench outside of every diest. Yes. I'm trying to think how to say it in English, but yes, it's just the outer part of the, like the porch or the patio of the apartment building. So you have those benches.

in front of the house and it was like all day people stay because they have nothing to do all and they'll be watching people and of course we walk everywhere. didn't have cars in the garages so you constantly have people going in and out so they knew all the kids all the parents they knew everything and of course they said hi and you know their name you say hi and they would ask you how was your school so there was that that community part although it's right in the middle of the city on your street everybody knew everybody

Right. And I know I would be going to play outside and coming back when it's just getting dark. So I wouldn't ever worry or think about it. Right. You can, as a child, you can go far away, know, the places it's, you know, hard to find unless you create the problem for yourself, but never actually being like, and, and, think it started changing. got a little bit closer to the nineties. started to know, maybe I became a teenager and I was starting to kind of be a little bit more paranoid and worried.

just because my mom was always like, homey shoot or talk to strangers. And if you see a guy that's looking at you, you you just hurry up and get, get moving. So maybe that's, was more me and my mom. But I remember I was five or six and I got new skates and I went skating and I went with my friends on skates. I don't remember how far because I remember taking a few buses. Well, not officially it was in my mind. I was a figure skater, you know, I wanted to be figure skater when I was three.

And the way sports works in Russia, don't, it's not part of school and it's not something you make up that you mind when you're older, which kind of makes sense. And you don't have to pay a lot. No, it was free. I wanted to be a figure skater when I was three. So I told my parents, dad, took me to the club, figure skating club, because it's not part of school. And they looked at my parents and said, so she's going to be too tall. I'm five, eight. they, looking for the short people. They had to be, they had to be a certain mold, certain body type to be accepted because it's run by the, by the state.

So that right there, my dream was broken. Then I said, okay, I'm going to be a gymnast. So they took me to gymnastics, had me run around and then they said, oh, she's slouching. My mom said, well, that's why I want to do gymnastics. she does a slouching one. They looked at us and we don't need a defect. I still remember now. So there's a good old, yours is sorry. They don't care about you. It's a factory right there. But you know, they produce good.

Quite a few stars. This after school activity, so clubs after school, most of them were kind of either cheap or just free of charges because ⁓ you can like when you finish your school, actually little earlier than they finish it here, let's say 1.30 p.m. or two o'clock even in a high school, during the high school. So you could take any ⁓ classes, you can sign up yourself.

for the dancing classes or for skating or skiing classes and I was free almost free of charges so it cost nothing to our parents so you could but since it was free of charges you gotta show your best yes so they got the best ones and I remember working hard you're out in a heartbeat I was doing figure skating and horse back riding and ⁓ bobsling and I was swimming and everything and every time they were like ⁓

No, there was actually I was also taking at the age of 14, I was taking volleyball, volleyball classes. one day after, would say two months, the coach approached to me and she said, she said that you're not tall enough. So for figure skating, I was too tall. ⁓ for basketball, ⁓ was not tall enough.

But actually we were concentrating on those five, the tallest people in the group. So you could stay because you're good, but we're not going to pay a lot of attention to you. So just to let you know, so you can stay. like that. I left because I was too proud of, you know. I hear you. But I also want to add that it was a shame culture. So it was okay for people, just passing by people you don't know to shame you if you, for example, dress unproperly.

Or behave improperly, or you're drunk or there was no drugs at that time. So it's either alcohol or... Permisciuity. Yes. So it was okay for them to your parents or say something to you like, ⁓ that's not the right behavior. know? It was so embedded in the culture that even the parents, when they wish well, of course now, as we learn more, do a lot more research on parenting and child psychology.

There was a lot of comparison constantly. And I don't blame my parents at all because of course they inherited from their parents. Yeah. Look at your neighbor kid. Exactly. He's so good in piano lessons or violin. look at you. Look how well she dresses. Why don't you wear this when I'm telling you to wear it? And so what is important? Yeah. Wow. But there was a lot of successful people came from that culture, you know, that type of...

parenting. mean, here now in the States, my kids are still young to really know whether they're to be successful or not. But I know I am loading them up with a lot of activities. And an American will tell me, Kate, you are crazy. I have my kids and probably five, each kid in five different activities, probably more. But by the Russian standard, as we just talked a little bit before, I'm actually lacking behind. I could put them into more activities. And you would just tell me how you had your daughters and

in skating and volleyball and the Russian school. What else did they do? Ballet, figure skating and ⁓ what else should it be? Swimming, figure skating, ballet and Russian school of math. And Russian school as a language school. Yes. So poor kids. I don't have to They're too spoiled here. ⁓

So tell me what, is there a part of the Soviet Union that you miss? I know there's a lot of things that are negative and obviously we're not bringing Soviet Union back, but was there anything positive? About the Soviet Union? Most of the things I remember, maybe because I left. Like if you were to handpick, if you were to handpick, and I ask this every guest, like if you were to cherry pick just certain things from the Soviet Union, not to bring Soviet Union back obviously, but certain things. Maybe the friendship or good relation between the neighbors, the way they took care of the elderly.

people, you know, it was a connection between the generations. So one generation is actually give an advice. There was a connection between like, for example, three generations were living in the same house or the same apartment or a next door apartment. So they exchanging of experiences and you know, they respect each other. There was respect, definitely. Friendship. I like the way that ⁓

the after school activities for the kids were free of charges. Yes, definitely. So my mom was still asking me, did you pay for that? She's so good at this and that. Did you pay for it? I of course. What kind of question is that? Of course, it's out of question. Of course, we as a family paid for this club or for these activities. Even if they're top of the line, you still have to pay. learned the hard way because I had my son in skating and he did all the levels and excelled. So said, okay, when he is certain level, sure, there's going to be some kind of scholarship or something.

No, in fact, I should have done my research before letting him on. Also a lot of social benefits like the pension, the women were retired at the age of 55, so they still active and young and they could participate in different activities after they finish their working job. That's what would be tricky or realistic way to bring. Yeah, men were retired at the age of 60.

changed, of course. ⁓ Everything is changing in the world, not in a better direction, but we can do it about it. And also, like, ⁓ if a woman have a child, she could stay with this child up till the three and a half years old. And they're to keep the space for her, the place at work, ⁓ till the child reaches the age of three and a half. Three kindergartens or daycares

up till first grade and they not actually just took care of the child but ⁓ it was like a little school preschool school where they actually taught a child math reading writing maybe some languages the social benefits ⁓ the child during the school year or the preschool year got sick

women or I mean the mother or the father or even grandparents sometimes get a free vacation for or for taking care of the child. There's a lot of nice benefits. There are a lot of benefits I on the federal side. still get used to the fact that they don't exist anymore. But I have to note all the social benefits you mentioned, they're of course wonderful for any common person, however they do come at a cost.

And in a free market society where we don't have socialism, it's not feasible. It's not realistic. And that's part of why ⁓ Soviet Union could not sustain this because where would you get that money from when you don't have the system, you don't have free market? So eventually we ran ourselves into the ground. But those social benefits obviously were very nice. I really wish I had a magic wand to just keep the free market with its benefits and figure out a way. yes, this is...

This is not as easy as it sounds. Somebody is ⁓ from this country is trying to convince me that I had a bad time back in the Soviet Union or I had a bad childhood, most likely. I am trying to convince him or her back that it wasn't true. First of all, I was from Moscow. So a lot of good things were happening. There's a lot of culture too. had a lot of theater, right? Plays to go to. Sometimes secondly, when you are a child.

You probably didn't think or didn't see a lot of you know bad things going on around you So you just mostly focusing on a good what was the first time you returned back five years later? It was 1996 and I was surprised how much changes Some bad but some were actually good. So the country were changing a lot in different directions there was a lot of new buildings and

a lot of nice stores because the capital is finally came to the country, to Russia. And you could see a lot of pluses, but also you could see a lot of minuses because the society become a caste, a lot of castes. Society started to separate into upper class, middle class, more like upper and ⁓ low class people. ⁓

even though they all live in the same region sometimes. And they were all on the same level five years ago. now they're no more. Right. When was the last time you were there? It was right before COVID. So it was five, again, five years. So every five years seems like I'm traveling there. So the last experience, how different was that compared to when you left? Liked it a lot. So definitely a better progression. Better changes and progressing in a good way.

Like I said, a lot of new buildings and a lot of people are smiling, dressing well. It looks like the average person on the street looks wealthier than it used to be many years prior. You know, talking about smiling, I moved in 96 and I came back to Belarus right before COVID, but at the same time you went.

And ⁓ I was really surprised. I wasn't expecting so much change. ⁓ And forgive me, my dear audience, if I'm repeating myself here, we've heard the story before. I may have mentioned this again. ⁓ I was prepared for the worst. I remember having like toilet paper and paper towels folded in my carry on luggage. So when I get off the plane that I will have that because when I left in 96, we didn't have that.

There was no paper towels. There's no such thing as paper towel. I've never seen or heard about it. I mean, you had hand towels back in the day, right? And when I was leaving, they didn't have toilet paper either. You just, you know, you use newspapers or whatever you can find. So I had that. if we had to go, I had to brought my kids with me. So I want to make sure that we had all our hygiene stuff with us. So I got off the plane and I went to the bathroom and they had paper towels and toilet paper. And it wasn't disgusting and nasty. So that was a big shock to me from their point on. I actually really thought there was a remarkable change.

I also was really worried about wearing earrings because I thought maybe people are going to rip off my earrings because when I was leaving, was a lot of crime. I was leaving, crime was a lot higher. That was in 96 when they were still going through that turmoil. So I was really impressed. People were wearing earrings that are much nicer than mine. They have cell phones ⁓ better than my cell phones. So I thought, okay, I need cell phones. much more expensive cars than who I do here. But you know, I did not notice a lot of smile. I have to know.

In my experience, were some, but not, there was still a lot, most places of that regular gloominess. I have to tell you, I'll tell you really- of the culture. It is part of the culture and it hasn't changed. So when I came back and my friends were asking me so how much, of course it was a progress. There was a lot more jobs. was, you had restaurants, night stores, a lot of new buildings, like you said. But I said, people really didn't change. It was very minute change. So if you go to the city and like,

upscale place where there are a of foreigners coming through, they're kind of expecting to smile. So they're taught and expected to smile. When you go a little bit more remote, it was still the same as before. For example, I walk into the store and I have money, but they can tell by looking at my face and that I'm there. I'm Russian or Soviet or whatever, Belorussian. And I'm asking for something. They're not even going to look at me. They're just doing what they're doing. A minute or two passes. Then I say, excuse me.

you know, how much is such as them. And then he would just say, can't you see it's written on it? Pretty rude. So I'm like, okay, want some service, but I wasn't getting that service. We were also stop, stop for lunch and I wanted to get food. Of course, they, you know, calculated that gave money. The game was like a transaction. And my husband goes in to get water. said, he goes in, everybody's smiling, running around him. He only knew one word, vada, water. That's it.

They knew he was a foreigner. my god, everybody had huge smiles. He walked out of there feeling like a king. I'm like, what happened? You're so happy. He's like, people are so nice here. I'm like to you. I wish. What happened to you? ask for simple water. are you so happy? Right. But yeah, so that's interesting.

So when you were growing up, was your go-to fun thing to do? When you were bored, what did you do? There was no internet, no telephone. I was thinking always these days. If I had a phone at that days, I would never probably concentrate on reading books or studying hard or taking care of my grandparents or learn how to cook, know, kids these days. So, not really because,

You know, we had a lot of friends, classmates. Right after school, we get together, not all the time, but when I was not, you know, a lot of homework, there was a lot of homework. We had Monday through Saturday school, we had to to school Saturday I remember my mom even calling one time at school asking the principal or principal substitute to...

actually cut on homework because how come she's like constantly staying home doesn't go outside just study study especially math you know a lot of math and physics at the age of 14 not really i remember lot of stuff but i can connect it to the real life but your mom's call didn't go anywhere they didn't give you slack off to the call okay i didn't think so and i remember if you're misbehaving it's cool but you're good in math they kind of let it go

You know, I remember. I wasn't privileged to have that. was not good at math. I know wasn't good at math, but I know the classmates who were actually doing some crazy stuff in class. I was well behaved. Yeah, I was trying because I wasn't good at math. really. Like they, if they don't know what grade you should deserve by the end of the year, they always look at your math and physics and chemistry grades and.

Calculating from there, what you should get for your physical culture. Physical, that's PE. PE, right. is physical education. Yeah, was in so much stress because you had clubs where like if you're serious with sports, then you will be part of that club. In fact, they had sports academies that if you really go in the sport route, that's where the athletes would go and that would have emphasis on sports. Did you ever have a moment in time or when you were back in the Soviet Union that you...

had such a bad experience that you kind of wish you weren't there. You kind of had it in your mind that I need to leave this country. Did that ever happen? You know what? Not really, but when you're getting older and you see that you're getting the age to the age where you're supposed to get married and have a family and I don't know, you don't see ⁓ a future husband.

husband of yours and don't have even a decent boyfriend. You're thinking maybe. your expectations are high. Exactly. Because you like, have a higher education and you live in a nice place. You have a good family, which is actually my family were divorced when I was a 10 year old. They divorced and they had another family from, you know, different families and they have kids from new families.

So my father had a ⁓ sister of mine, ⁓ daughter and my mom had a brother. ⁓ but still, you know, from educated and good family, you know, you think you deserve somebody who is actually decent and nice and it was hard to find. So at that age of the age of 20, I didn't have a decent boyfriend. thinking, what if I travel a little bit, go abroad, maybe try to, you know,

Look for the good decent, you know, back in in the before the fall of color before the collapse. It was very hard to leave the country. You couldn't just walk in and be like, I'm going to buy a ticket and go to constant get a visa and just travel. What was your route to get to the United States? Okay. So, ⁓ I met, ⁓ my future husband actually in, ⁓ 1990, in the middle of the pet store. Yeah. I was a.

So he traveled to Moscow. Yeah, he just graduated from Georgetown University and went with a major of political science and Russian, second language acquisition, something like that. And he decided to go to Russia to maybe to find his roots. And ⁓ he met you at the bookstore. That was not a lot of stores in the center of Moscow at that time, because it's still 1990.

a year or year and a half before the Soviet Union collapse. ⁓ I actually left my job in middle of the day, went to the pet store thinking to buy maybe a parrot or a pet for myself. ⁓

met my husband like in the store. were looking at the same thing. I know, looking at the same parrot. You should write a book. I know. It's what a love story. You guys still together. was beautiful family here. Funny thing, the parrot was so big and the cage he was staying in, or she was staying in, was so small. So we were looking and thinking about the same. It was kind of symbolic. He was like, oh, you want to buy this bird? Let's buy it like tomorrow.

But tonight, for tonight, I have tickets to the play. So let's go see the play. Invite me. He approached me, invited me to the play and this is how the friendship began. He invited you to come here later. I gotta make a note about pets because when I was growing up, we live in small apartments so you don't have a lot of room for pets and I don't know a lot of people. I remember my class of 25 or 30 people, there was only one...

One, maybe two girls that had dogs. And I thought that was kind of, it was a lot of work. Of course I was impressed with their parents that allowed because I begged my mom so much to have a dog. And the answer was no, no, no, no. She explained why in a reasoning makes sense, but I still wanted to have a dog anyway. So were you one of the, was it uncommon or most people in your area where you were had pets?

I always found my pets when I was a child on the streets. So my parents were kind of like, you know, very relaxed, relaxed about it. So every time I go to park or I found some, you know, cat, you know, like weird looking sick, hungry, skinny cat or a dog and I bring it over. Yeah. So we clean it, we washed it, take it to, took it to the vet and

This is how I kept all of my pets in a small apartment with my parents and later with my stepfather and another child. brave. My parents were very strict. If I was to bring your pet, I didn't even dare to try. didn't even dare to try. But my mom was in a medical field, so she gave me this whole lecture on germs and how many germs the pets have. If I was to touch a cat outside, I had to go wash my hands two or three times right away.

It was just almost to a degree of obsessiveness, but I understand where she's coming from. I would ask you, are you close with your half sister and her brother? Not really. They're still in Moscow. brother, which we have a common mom, ⁓ I do. They're still in Moscow, but with my sister, not really. Not really. Do you talk a lot There was an issue before. Yeah, I talk to my brother, not a lot, but sometimes I do.

So no problem. doesn't have any issues communicating. You can just call because I know I just found out recently I was trying to reach out to get an interview from somebody who is in Moscow, never been to the States. And they're all very reluctant, by the way, to even talk online. I said, you can use a pseudonym. And I understand that. But I just found out that Facebook is blocked for Russia. You can't even, yeah. So on the side, can't use the WhatsApp.

So talking about the, and let me know if you're not comfortable talking about the current events, what do you think about what's going on today? And again, I know in my audience, most people, most Americans would probably want to be screaming at me, Oscar, what did she think about the war? But if you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but just your opinion. Again, a disclaimer, this is just your opinion. This is not a political.

podcast. It's not a recent issue. Much more recent issues just recently happened. But related to the our region. I really think about it a lot these days, but when it just happened, I did a lot. like, let's say I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat thinking about it. But I don't know, I believe in God and if God allow this to happen, maybe it's for food reason. We will see.

These days they saying if you sleep more than eight hours per day, you skip a few pages of the history book. you just sleep a little extra. Who knows? Yeah, yeah. These are different points of view I hear from even Ukrainians who are more pro-Russia, more pro-Ukraine. Different size, would get different answers. I don't have any relatives in Ukraine, so it's hard for me to see the both sides. I only see one side.

Right. ⁓ I was asking a friend of mine who actually is in Russia, I said, well, don't they see what's going on in Ukraine? And she said, well, they show us a completely different picture. They have completely different news. the government TV constantly feeds a totally different narrative. So that's why it's hard for people who live there to see both sides. again,

I'm just here in Virginia, so I'm not there on the ground either to see where the truth is. Russia, they have so many channels right now, so many choice like Dost channel. Everybody has this channel and their TV, so if they decided, they can watch different types of news. They can watch international news too. International news and make their own conclusions for themselves. Correct, correct. Yeah.

you have a choice comparing with before, know, you can say, yes, you have definitely only one view, right? Only one view unless you travel abroad, you know. Yes. Now you said your mom was very much in favor of you going to the United States. Was your father on board as well? You mean when you were coming? Many years ago. They were happy because they believe that maybe I have a better choice to find a better, you know, better life.

Better husband? Yeah, opportunities, know, in general. know, better career, better be surrounded with better people. When the Soviet Union collapsed, asked me to know, the people is so important. But now they think differently these days. If I have a if I would, if I have a choice ⁓ to travel back and talk to my younger myself, what would I?

I would probably stay home. You're probably never going to come over and there. Exactly. That's one possibility. Just study, know, changing majors, studying as many subjects as possible. Maybe, you know, get as many degrees as possible and finally, you know, become a successful independent woman, individual and finally by my own apartment. I got to give you credit. You have your, you know, you speak Russian, obviously with two children.

and they speak immaculate perfect Russian, although they're born here in the States. And I just want to commend you for that because this is so hard. know my kids, although my husband is ⁓ American and I try to talk Russian to them, but it's just so hard when your brain is constantly switched into English. So I just want to applaud you for that because it's not easy to raise the kids speaking Russian. I just came to Anna Viktorovna today for the interview and she had this spread of food.

⁓ Tea for me, dessert. I said, I wasn't expecting anything. So she had a full table for me, although I just came in for just a quick interview and I was going to be zooming out. And then she said, no, no, no. My grandma taught me how to invite people over and how to treat them well. This is so typical Russian. If we had anybody come into our apartment, even just passing by or just stopping for something, my mom would...

If she knew they're coming a certain time, she would be rushing around yelling at us, okay, we've to the table together, open this, do this, do that, hurry up and fry, flip this over. It was a big house. But as soon as somebody walks in, ⁓ everything's beautiful. So may I say dedicate this interview to my grandmother, Maria. There go. She's no longer with us. she left me 10 years ago. ⁓ I'm sorry. Even though she'll leave too. But she left her heart with you and all those recipes to continue.

But you know, the last thing I want to mention is about the people. It's kind of, I'm myself, I'm learning a lot through this interviews, I have to admit. A lot of Russians are really good people down at the core. But then at the same time, life was so hard, especially out in the country and in some parts of the city, that it heartened them and made them kind of look inward or close to their community. So that's why you didn't have a lot of people smiling. And sometimes there would be lot of blaming and shaming.

For me, a turning point when I decided I do want to leave is when I was at the store and I think I was 14, maybe 15, and the lady ran into me, not only stepping on my foot, almost knocked me over. And instead of saying, oh, excuse me, I mean, was obviously she ran into me.

Instead of saying, excuse me, are you okay? Because I almost fell over. I was just bewildered with this little skinny breath. in Belarus. She just yelled at me saying, what are you doing in my way? ⁓ I was in tears, came home and that was my turning point. That's when I decided I don't want to stay here anymore. This is too hard for me. Yes. In America, I have to give a lot of Americans, so many nice people. When I came here, everybody would smile. Everybody was so welcoming.

It was hard for me to stay here because I came as an exchange student. So I was on a visa. had to have ⁓ host families that would sponsor me and help me basically make it here. ⁓ I really, you know, when I'm telling that Russian people are great and really have a wonderful soul, that is not to say that others don't, of course, because Americans are absolutely remarkable people. And I would not have been where I'm at if it wasn't for so many grades. I was actually surprised and amazed how they take care of their.

pets, know, in general. was surprised too. was a big surprise. Still surprised, you know. So love it about this country a lot. Taking care of pets. Any final thoughts? have a funny story you want to share from back home? Funny story? Not really. Everything was pretty standard.

What is the one thing you want to teach your kids that you take from Russia? The one thing that is just at the core, they want to make sure you pass it on to your kids. I don't know about Russia, try not to dissolve among the common culture. If you live abroad, try to keep your own culture alive. Teach your kids language, culture, and don't be ashamed of it. Doesn't matter what culture you're coming from, don't be ashamed because this is what makes you unique.

in your family and if you stop loving yourself or your culture, means you will stop loving your culture. Your identity is who you are. And ⁓ it's hard being abroad or being an immigrant in any country. Very hard. Especially here. To keep up with your own culture, your own maybe religion or culture or anything which connects you.

to your home, a stranger. Yeah, keep that culture, be proud of who you are. love that. love that. are definitely words of wisdom. Well, Anna Viktorovna, thank you so much for your time. It's been a real, real pleasure. My dear listeners, thank you so much for staying with us. Thank you for having me. My pleasure, absolutely. If you enjoyed this show, this episode, please share it and give me a rating. Also reach out to me with any questions or if there's some questions you'd like for me to ask my future guests, any...

comments, concerns, please email me. I would love to get feedback from you. My email is Kate at thesovietlife.com. Until next time, take care.