When you're anxious, what do you do? Usually, you're

left with three options, right? You either fight your anxiety,

get frustrated with it and angry and basically are in a constant

battle with yourself, because you're not accepting to feel

that week. Or you are running away from the anxiety, trying to

distract yourself calling a friend turning on YouTube, and

just not wanting to feel period. And the third option is that you

just get in, because you feel that the emotion is too

powerful, too overwhelming. And so all you can do is just have

another day where that feeling takes over and keeps you

trapped. Now, all of those three options are not really that

great, right? Because it makes anxiety really some ways your

enemy or your prison warden that just makes your life smaller and

smaller and more and more of a battlefield than feeling happy

and in contend like everyone else. Now one of the things

about anxiety is that it makes you feel like there is something

wrong with you right? And that you're the only one who's

struggling because you're looking around and everyone

seems to be happy. Instagrams are blowing up with just

wonderful adventures and joyful faces, and then you feel like an

outsider. Well, the truth is, anxiety is the number one mental

health issue. And it's certainly something that millions and

millions of people are struggling with. And the numbers

that are real, are way higher than the numbers that are

documented, because most people don't go to the doctor and ask

for a prescription or to a counselor or coach to to get

some help. Most people are slugging along trying to just

somehow make it reducing the anxiety managing it. I had

anxiety myself. And so it's really my kind of life, work my

purpose to help people to overcome anxiety, but not in the

way that anxiety is that what you have to struggle with for

the rest of your life. But in a way that you're turning the idea

of anxiety, upside down and seeing the emotion as an

opportunity as something inside of you that just wants your

attention. And once you give it the appropriate attention,

everything going to turn around, you will actually see anxiety as

a catalyst and maybe even as an inner Navigator, and no longer

as this demon that can attack you at any time.

Well, 10 years ago, my book about my personal breakthrough

program on How To Overcome Anxiety, get published by sounds

true. So it's anniversary time, the feared anxiety solution. And

what I love about this book is that it has helped so many

people to really shift their minds around anxiety, it has

helped people to understand that anxiety is their responsibility,

and not their burden to carry. And so today, I want to share a

little bit about some of the things that are in the book,

which will hopefully demystify and clarify the most common

misconceptions around that emotion. See, as a physician, I

always felt like that anxiety must have some kind of a have a

reason to be around because it has been evolutionary preserved

for hundreds of 1000s of years. It's very powerful. So it's not

something that can be easily ignored. And it's something

that's persistent. You know, when you have anxiety, it

definitely is there to stay for a little bit until you figure

out how to overcome it. And my anxiety was certainly you know,

certain I think 25 years in the making started when I was very

little and the pressures of having to perform well in school

and the chaos at home with my parents not getting along with

each other and all those things made my life emotionally

challenging, and me more and more and easy. So I had

sleepless nights before tests, I constantly scan around for

things that can go wrong. I had obsessive compulsive symptoms,

and I certainly have I also had panic attacks that just came out

of the blue that made me feel overwhelmed by the emotion. Now,

I wish someone would have told me how to see anxiety

differently at the time when I had it. So it took a long time

for me to change my perspective on this emotion. But what I find

is that anxiety is has become somewhat of a friend to me,

because without the anxiety, I wouldn't talk to you right now,

I would have not have found my purpose, I would probably be

still in a big cardiology department in in Germany. And

mainly my own best patient was to heart attacks and pretty

unhappy. So without the anxiety, I would have not waken up to

that. What I really am supposed to do. So I'm very grateful that

the anxiety was knocking at my door, and that now from what I

have learned about my own anxiety, but also the 1000s of

people I worked with through the last 20 years that I can share

with you. And hopefully at the end of this podcast, ease your

mind around the emotion, see, when you're really convinced

about something because you've seen so many, many, so many

times how well something can work, just when we make a shift

when we make a choice to to perceive something differently

and take really empowering action steps when you see

something like this over and over working. And then you still

hear unfortunately, people talking about how they are stuck

in the anxiety and there's nothing they can do. And all

they can do is just to get up every day and fight with their

emotion. It makes me so motivated. And so committed to

get the message out over and over again, that anxiety is

something that you can handle because it's your mind that

created it. And so you can also use your mind and teach your

mind how to uncreate it.

Now one of the myth around anxiety is that anxiety is a

sign of weakness and that there's something wrong with

you. And that ultimately, it's a burden, as I said, that just is

your identity. This is who you are, and this is who you will

be. I'm an example of that not to be true. And it's certainly

not a sign of weakness because see, when I looked at anxiety, I

at some point realized, wow, what if anxiety is just like

physical pain and physical pain, like my cardiology practice I,

you know, when people came with chest pain, you didn't say,

well, your pain is weakness, you're wondering, hey, the chest

pain, this could be a variety of things, but maybe you have a

heart attack? Well, anxiety is an emotional mental pain, that

really tells you something about a deeper wounds, something

underneath that needs to be addressed. And that cannot just

be ignored. Because as you may have noticed, the longer you are

fighting the anxiety or trying to run away from it, that is

more intense, and the louder it becomes. So it's not working

because it wants your attention. Now, what is that deeper wound?

What are those root causes that the anxiety is trying to make

you pay attention to? Well, that brings me to another

misconception, which is that the anxiety is nonsensical, doesn't

make any sense. It's probably just a mis wiring in your brain

or maybe some chemical imbalances. And why it may be

true, that there are chemical imbalances that can also, you

know, be rectified with medication. The wounds

underneath the anxiety doesn't go away with medication, it may

make you feel more relaxed and more able to really listen to

what the anxiety is trying to tell you to look underneath.

When you take medications. I'm not against anti anxiety drugs,

but it's not necessarily the solution. And I believe we have

to really not just use a painkiller and ignore that the

heart is aching or that the foot is breaking. But really see why

is that pain? Why is that anxiety there in the first

place. But the fact that it's nonsensical has to do with you

know, the place where it comes from, because anxiety doesn't

come from the logical conscious part of our mind. Yeah, it's

true. It's shows up at the most inopportune moments, it shows up

at times when it shouldn't. It shows up when you know we have

nothing to worry about. So yeah, it's not something we can also,

with rational thinking or logic, talk ourselves out of it, it

comes from the other part of the mind, the bigger part of the

mind, which is the subconscious. And that subconscious mind is

ultimately responsible for emotions, for beliefs for our

value systems, it holds all our memories, even the ones that

we're not really consciously thinking about. And it also is

responsible for those patterns that we continuously repeat,

just like you know, driving, washing our hair, cutting

onions, playing piano, things like that, we are not

consciously doing those things. It's just something that the

subconscious has been operating, or operating for us. And so we

can, even while we do those things, think consciously about

something else. Now, it's a very powerful part of the mind, the

subconscious. And I have often talked about the subconscious on

the podcast, but it's also a part that was there for us, and

try to support us, way before our conscious mind was capable

to even string a thought together. Even in the womb, our

subconscious is already at work trying to figure out if it's

safe, what's going on outside the boundaries of the mother's

belly, and is really, ultimately drawing conclusions from what it

takes in. Now, when you think about your subconscious, you

have to see it as a part of your mind that especially at the

early stages, when you're a little independent, dependent on

others, to keep you safe to feed you to give your shelter to

attend to do to you and not reject you or ostracize you.

That is the part that tries to keep you safe. So your

subconscious is one big task it is really dedicated to it is

your protection, it's your inner bodyguard. When you grew up, you

may have felt that certain things like in my case, were not

totally stable, predictable, and potentially dangerous. Like, you

know, my parents divorcing or me getting read the riot act for a

bad grading school. All those things didn't feel safe. And so

the subconscious said, Okay, what do we need to do in order

for you to stay safe. And this is where my anxiety ultimately

became this radar system. You know, it's like a metal

detector, that you're walking around on the beach, the anxiety

is going around looking for potential danger and then

deductibility. It sees, oh, wow, here is someone I'd really happy

with you or there is a test tomorrow. So you have to be

worried and really on your toes, because who knows if you're

going to have a good grade or not. So the anxiety is a warning

system, just like the anxiety would warn you, you know, in the

good old stone age's when there was a big beast in front of your

cave, or it's warning you when you are, you know, let's say

staying at a cliff and you're looking down and it tells you

okay, go back, because you may slide. So the anxiety is

certainly there to protect you. Now, what the anxiety then early

on, has been doing is drawing conclusions. So it said, okay,

in order, it's coming back to my case, in order to be safe, you

have to really always study very hard, you have to have straight

A's. And you have to please everyone. And in order to make

sure that the home is held together and peaceful. You have

to be the peacemaker, you have to make sure that you are

mediating between everyone trying to be the golden child's

who just immediately makes everybody laugh. And so all of

those things were my anxiety pattern in order to keep my life

stable and secure. And those patterns repeat themselves. T

and this is something that you would say are the root causes.

The root cause is that the anxiety are still you know

reeling from are those traumatic events when my parents were

fighting or where you may have been, you know, really rejected

or criticized or in school bullied or made fun off or all

of a sudden some of your friends turn that back on you, things

that you look back on to and say, Wow, this was really, yeah,

stressful heart difficult. So this is one root cause those

significant emotional events that are in our subconscious

Memory Box. And because they are not resolved, they still are

used as reference point for the anxiety to warn us when anything

similar may happen. So when you go out, for example, and meet

new people, and you have in your memory box, this you know,

rejection or embarrassment event still kind of blinking as okay,

this is something to stay away from, while you find yourself in

a social setting in the corner, maybe avoiding to get close to

anyone or striking up a conversation because you don't

want to once again be laughed at or you know, someone making fun

of you. Or when you are someone who really needs to, please and

peace make because that's, again, one of those events that

in the past has been blinking as Danger Danger when people are

not happy. And when they are, you know, having a conflict, you

may never say what you think you may always somehow just you

know, be quiet, pleasant little bit of a chameleon, because that

idea of standing up for your beliefs, too dangerous, too much

of you know, the reminder of what could happen, which again,

happened when you were younger. So resolving those events,

understanding them from a different perspective, learning

from them growing from them, that is addressing one of the

root causes of anxiety, it's very important. And the other

two root causes that I work with are that, you know, a limiting

belief system that we are carrying around, for example, we

can only be safe, if we avoid danger, or we can only be

lovable and safe, if we are all giving and never asked for

anything. You know what the belief of not feeling good

enough, the world is not a safe place. We can not trust anyone,

all of those core beliefs are anchored in the experiences of

the subconscious. And, and therefore they still are, you

know, running your life. And you still act accordingly. Because

most people never really updated their values or their belief

system, they're basically still operating as if nothing had

changed in the last 4050 years.

And then there is a third root cause, which is the

fragmentation of the mind. And that is really a such an

interesting part that you may have realized, you're struggling

with all the time that the subconscious has two major

purposes or tasks to keep us safe. And to make us happy. It's

like the inner yin and yang, but they're not nicely creating a

wholeness, they're actually really fighting each other

because one wants to make everything somehow predictable,

controllable and safe. So that's your anxiety site. And the other

one says, No, let's get out and explore the world, take your

race, meet new people take on challenges, and then you're just

in a constant tug of war, you go one step forward, and then the

anxiety holds you back. You're stuck in your anxiety, and then

you get frustrated and look how everyone is passing you by. And

then you want to go out again and do something. But again, the

anxiety pulls harder, the more you're trying to get out of that

comfort zone. So does that make sense? When you think about it,

that there are deeper reasons why you have the anxiety, but

you get so distracted by the intensity of the emotion, that

you don't really look at those deeper reasons, you don't really

pay attention to what could be underneath. Once you are

resolving those deeper root causes, you can understand also

that then the anxiety feels like hmm, maybe it's actually no

longer true that this is a little boy or little girl who

needs to be afraid maybe what is true is that the world is much

safer, and that you are much more capable of going through

life than the subconscious has thought and in the fear and

anxiety solution and in my personal breakthrough program,

those things are addressed and you will be able to resolve all

of those. Now another misconception of anxiety is that

anxiety is something that is ultimately more powerful than

you. And I think a lot of people have felt that, right. I mean,

you know, especially with panic attacks, you just feel like you

can do nothing. And the problem is panic attacks is that they

are like the last way, the last line of defense for the

subconscious to get your attention. When you are having

panic attacks, you probably had a lot of anxiety before, like a

constant undercurrent of anxiety that you pretty much ignored.

And then the anxiety, the panic attack just basically said,

Okay, I have enough, it's like your subconscious having a

little temper tantrum because you're just not paying

attention. You know, the listening. A lot of people that

have panic attacks have panic attacks, when they pushed

themselves too far, you know, they, they have ignored their

emotions, maybe they have done some self medication, or

medicating or, again, nicely distracting themselves getting

out of their comfort zone, making the opposite of what the

anxiety wanted them to do. And all of a sudden, panic attacks,

hold them in their tracks, literally brings them to their

knees. This can be when you have been really, really working

hard. And getting to higher and higher levels in your career.

And all of a sudden, you get a panic attack, because you're

almost at the top and your anxiety makes you look down and

say, oh my god, what if this is all, you know, going away? What

if you are found out as a fraud, or you are trying to be good,

because that's what you were told to do. And all of a sudden,

you you know, are in your late teens or in your 20s and you try

out drinking drugs or doing things that you know deep inside

a part of you is afraid of because it's making you out of

control or it makes you different than you really are

supposed to be in order to be acceptable. Again, you do this a

few time the panic attack, say no note stop with us, we can't

do this anymore, you are out of control.

So the intensity has a lot to do with how much awareness you have

on what the anxiety is trying to tell you. And also how much the

anxiety trusts you. And this is a the final point that I want to

make today that the anti died of anxiety is not the absence of

anxiety. The antidote of anxiety is the trust that your

subconscious has, in you the conscious person to no longer

need the subconscious to take care of you. Or like me say it

in a different way. If your inner protector is operating

with the manual, the owner's manual from when you were like

510 years old. It is of course doing things that don't really

fit into your adult life anymore. But unless you the

adult, are proving to your subconscious, that you are

trustworthy, that you are someone who can make good

decisions, who is able to deal with criticism or judgment who

is not just going recklessly through life, who is able to be

kind and generous to yourself and not just give your power and

attention to everybody else. All those things that may in the

past may have felt unsafe for your subconscious. If your

subconscious can be convinced that you are the leader of your

life, your anxiety will decrease dramatically. And for this to

happen. You need to really consciously address your

subconscious not with fear, not with anger, not with ignorance,

but with curiosity, and compassion. So there are three

phases that help you to overcome and ultimately outgrow your

anxiety. The first phase is for you to stop being afraid of your

emotions and really understand more now there is a message

there is some pain inside of me there is something that needs me

and I will pay attention to that. And often it really helps

to listen to the anxiety to listen to the to the thoughts

that are popping up and understand Wow, these are the

same thoughts that I had a long time ago. These are thoughts

that make me remember events that were hurtful and scary.

These are thoughts that are pointing towards limiting

beliefs of me not being good or me not being safe. And really

addressing those thoughts as if you are talking to a child

inside of you that is scared, that needs someone to hold on to

that needs someone to wrap your arms around and say, Hey, I'm

here, I get you, I understand why you're scared, because you

must have felt alone in your quest to keep us safe.

But you're no longer alone. That's phase number one, because

then your anxiety becomes much more admission of care and love

and compassion, then that inner struggle that you may have

really felt was what anxiety was about for a long time. So you

turn away from chasing the anxiety or fighting it towards

embracing it and healing it That in itself already reduces the

intensity because you do pay attention. The second phase is

to address those deeper root causes. And I said, you know,

you can do this with a book, you can do this with work with me

individually, I have also video program. So really going,

learning to work with a subconscious mind to heal those

events that have been charged with anxiety and, and traumatic

emotions, maybe hurt or sadness, or guilt or shame, to stop

fighting yourself. And from fragmentation, create wholeness

insights, and then also to change your limiting beliefs,

replace them in much more empowering ways of seeing

yourself in the world. That's number two. And the third phase

is to really own that you are ultimately in charge of your

mind, just as you're in charge of your body of your friends,

family finances, you are in charge. And for that you are

building more and more trust, trust in yourself, trust that

you can make good decisions handle it. And so you want to

really learn to feed back to your whether you're on the right

track, give yourself a lot of positive affirmation, appreciate

the contributions you make. Challenge yourself, but not in a

way that pushes you too much so that you are again putting

yourself into a sense of Oh, am and safe, but enough to

continuously grow and build your confidence. And when you do all

those three steps, the moment the anxiety comes up, you know,

Oh, wow. It just tells me like a GPS, oh, I'm making here, step

in the wrong direction. Maybe I have been thinking too much

outside of myself and not paying enough attention to myself.

Maybe I have lost my ways. And I'm not really on the good

track. Maybe I'm just too exhausted. And I've gone to my

reserve energies because I really felt the goals were more

important than my well being and happiness. See, anxiety can

really tell you just like pain, something is out of balance. And

when you have the anxiety, you're not saying like, Oh, wow,

here it is, again, nothing really works. You're saying

thank you anxiety, because now I know I need to make an

adjustment. And that is where the anxiety becomes your friend,

a trusted friends. Just like you know you had a dog that really

loves you. But also maybe growls when you're in danger when seven

Trudeau would want to enter your anxiety growls a little bit when

things are not quite the way they're supposed to be. And that

is where the anxiety is not going away when you outgrow it,

but it is coming to you inappropriate times and you're

learning to respond to it. accordingly. It is creating a

harmonious relationship with your conscious and subconscious

mind with your head and your heart. And for me, the anxiety

has shown me personally but also many, many of my clients who

they really are. It was like before we were paying attention

to our anxiety we were operating almost like you know

unconsciously in ways that were imprints from others

expectations from our peers or, or parents or family. And we

didn't really know who are we what's what's our essence What's

the truth, what is our purpose and through the anxiety. That

was an ability all of a sudden to feel closer to yourself to

understand yourself better and to ultimately also live with

greater peace and harmony and for me personally and many

others, to make a contribution in life that

we really here to make. So don't be afraid of your anxiety,

embrace it. Realize that the power of the emotion also tells

you that there is something very powerful and caring inside of

you that just wants you to find yourself to heal your past and

to evolve into who you are meant to be.