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Thirty days to self-discipline. A blueprint to bust laziness, escape the couch, become

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a machine, and accomplish your every goal. Practical self-discipline, second edition.

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Written by Peter Hollins. Narrated by Russell Newton.

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Lazy. There's so much concealed. In such a small word, isn't there?

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Have you ever had a day where, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't force yourself

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to do the tasks you wanted to or weren't meant to? Maybe you had a day spent wasting

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time online or watching TV knowing that assignments, important phone calls or chores were waiting

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for you and yet you just couldn't get any of it done. It may have felt like you were

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moving in slow motion, or just that you had no will to activate your brain from a mode

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of sloth and sleep. It's a normal feeling, but as with everything, moderation is key.

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I'm just feeling lazy has become a standard way of explaining this inability to find any

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willpower, passion, or perseverance for a task. But what does it really mean? And does

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it actually help us understand what's going on in these apathetic moments and help us

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overcome them? The trouble with lazy is that it doesn't accurately describe the phenomenon

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we're talking about, and it certainly doesn't offer a clue on how to be better.

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Lazy is a harsh value judgment, and worse than that, it fundamentally misunderstands a particular

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pattern of behavior. Using lazy is lazy, funnily enough. In the chapters that follow, we'll

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be looking at this laziness, not with condemnation, but with curiosity. What's really happening

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when we put off tasks? How can we realistically get better, other than self-berating and writing

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off sluggishness as an unchangeable personality trait? What is the root cause of this inability

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to do, and how can we train our brains to move past it or at least not make it our default

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course of action? Why does it feel so damn difficult to lift a single finger sometimes?

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But in this first chapter, we're going to be taking a different approach entirely. Firstly,

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we'll dismantle the idea of laziness altogether. It doesn't exist. It's an excuse, and as

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with 99% of excuses, it's a false construction designed to make ourselves feel better. A strong

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assertion that makes itself obvious only in hindsight, actually. What does exist, however,

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are barriers to our actions. If you look at a person lounging around in front of the TV

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in the middle of a weekday in their pajamas while work piles up around them, you might

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call them lazy. After all, doesn't this shrub have things to do? People are, at the most

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basic level, actually quite rational creatures, and they behave as they do for a reason. So

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when a person's behavior doesn't make sense at first glance, i.e. you can't see the reason,

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it pays to look deeper. To the environmental context, to the barriers, to the invisible

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obstacles that once understood perfectly explain their behavior. If this is starting to sound

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more like a psychology book, then the goal is achieved, because any problems we have

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with self-discipline, self-esteem, self-anything begin with our mindsets and the way we see

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and observe the world around us. We almost never have external problems. We only have

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problems of mindset, judgment, and expectation. Consider procrastination. We all love to heap

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moral blame onto ourselves or others for not doing what we should be doing. The way we

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talk about procrastination is to condemn it, almost as a sin, as a personal weakness. But

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people are rational and logical actors, so what are we missing? Most of us can see that

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sinning isn't really the motivation. After all, people procrastinate on tasks they set

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for themselves, on activities they care deeply about. So what's going on? If it's not a

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moral problem, it's an emotional and organizational one. Why do people procrastinate? As far back

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as 1978, researchers BEM and Funder were showing that situational constraints are a far better

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predictor of behavior than static personality traits. This means that we're more likely

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to be products of our environments and emotional states rather than simply having unproductive

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or lazy personalities. It also points toward the lack of vocabulary in our language to

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describe such conclusions. We don't really have a clear, easy way to say that anything

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other than pure laziness affects our behaviors. Even if we do, it's much simpler to think

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of things in this way. However, once you understand the nitty-gritty of what underlies a lack

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of productivity, it will change the way you perceive the umbrella of behaviors we commonly

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refer to as laziness. Barriers, not laziness. Let's consider some reasons that people actually

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procrastinate, act lazy, and turn away from self-discipline. It's time to shine a light

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into your brain instead of giving you techniques that may or may not work, though we will certainly

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get to those at the appropriate time. People procrastinate because they're afraid.

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If you associate ending a task with being appraised negatively or having the result

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found to be not good enough, it makes perfect sense that you'd avoid ever reaching the

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end of that task. Some people work extremely hard on a project only to slow right down

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and hit a block when only 5% of it remains to be done. It's the safe option, really.

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Others will work themselves into a paralysis, their perfectionism and intolerance for potential

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failure leaving them unable to even take the first step lest it's the wrong one. Again,

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it's safer to remain incomplete than to face a potentially negative judgment which can

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have massive detriments to self-esteem. So, right off the bat, we have an explanation

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for procrastination that's the opposite of common knowledge. In fact, a person may procrastinate

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more if the task is special to them since more is at stake. You can be motivated, you

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can have the desire, you can even have financial incentive and a serious time limit. But if

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your mind has perceived a threat in the task being completed, you can bet it'll do its

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best to squirm away from that task no matter what.

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To support this notion, a 2017 study done by Leary et al. showed that self-compassionate

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people were more likely to take responsibility for their goals than those who self-criticized.

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This means that the harsher people are on themselves, the more they're going to avoid

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action and appear to be lazy. Importantly, judgments in the form of calling yourself

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lazy or piling on guilt will only make things worse. What will make things better and people

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more likely to act? Anything that relieves anxiety. The paradox is then that self-discipline

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can stem from actively stepping away from a task that's causing you anxiety.

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Can you reframe things? Can you become aware of exactly what thoughts are causing you

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to pull back? It might be as simple as giving yourself permission to do things badly or

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to ease off some of the pressure you've put on yourself. Remind yourself that it's okay

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to feel afraid but that you can do it and that you will be okay no matter the outcome

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of this particular task.

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Look closely at your fears. Face them and speak them out loud or write them in a journal.

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You may procrastinate writing your book because deep down your petrified people will think

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it's bad and won't read it. Sink even deeper into the fear and you may uncover deep feelings

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of shame or beliefs that you're a bad person. This causes anxiety and anxiety always causes

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a fight-or-flight response i.e. procrastination and bailing on the plan for your day of productive

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work. Instead understand your fears and know them well. Actually it's not that difficult

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to find and you may not need a therapist to help you get to the root of maladaptive thoughts.

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You really just need honesty in speaking out loud the feelings and emotions that you want

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to avoid.

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One of the most troublesome ways in which fear hinders our ability to complete tasks

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is called worst case scenario thinking. As the name suggests it means that we simply can't

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stop thinking of the absolute worst that can happen if we fail to complete a task or don't

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perform it well. So if you don't get an A on that test everybody's going to think you're

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a loser who doesn't study at all and just wastes his time all day and you might even fail the

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entire class and have to repeat it. Even though some of these conclusions can be absurd and

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extremely unlikely they have a way of etching themselves into our thoughts and can be incredibly

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tough to do away with. If you have this tendency here's a way to cope. Think of the very worst

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thing that could happen if you don't do something or don't do it well then ask yourself is it

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really as bad as it seems? Is this something that's really going to be important a few

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months or a year from now? For example is it really the end of the world if you earn

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a little criticism for this task? Is it really true that failing once or twice means you're

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not a good human being worthy of love? Should it really act as a confirmation about some

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of the worst fears you have about yourself? Perhaps an alternative. Isn't it possible

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to try again or even worse? Can you imagine that your fears are unfounded and that you

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may even succeed? For some people facing their fears leads them to an unexpected culprit

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behind their procrastination the fear of success. Fear is often at the root of so much

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procrastination and avoidance behavior for some of us we don't exactly have the thought

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if I complete this task I'll do poorly and feel bad but it's more something like I can't

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be 100% certain about how this will turn out and I'd rather not risk it. Fearing the unknown

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is present in all of us to some extent but it may be more debilitating in those with

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extreme procrastination problems. It can be the sheer newness and uncertainty of a task

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at hand that proves frightening and hence becomes something to avoid and put off. This

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can happen if we've unconsciously told ourselves that unknown equals threatening. Uncertainty

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can cause anxiety and rather than court potential catastrophe a person may choose to put off

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a potential conclusion instead of facing an unknown outcome. So even if the status quo

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is quite painful in itself it's still known and familiar and clinging to it is preferable

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to risking something new. This fear can understandably mix with feelings of low confidence and

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efficacy. Something unpleasant might happen and I won't be able to handle it. Exhaustion.

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I'm too tired to think about something new or different right now. Or fear of success.

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If I succeed everything might change and I don't know if I want that. This kind of thinking

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can take on an obsessive quality where people make rules to mediate some of the anxiety

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of an overwhelming task. For example someone might procrastinate going to the doctor because

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what they discover there might be too much to handle so they try to reduce uncertainty

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by researching their symptoms extensively so they can feel reassured. If you recognize

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this in yourself the first step is to bring these fears out into the light and start facing

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them alone or with a therapist where you can try to rest these fears and beliefs to gradually

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start dismantling them. To illustrate this testing a woman might find that her procrastination

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and laziness in speaking up at her workplace comes down to a handful of fears like the

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above. I can't be sure people won't judge me harshly. If my boss sees me mess up I'll

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be fired. If I do too well they may ask even more of me or criticize me for being too arrogant.

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Realizing that these thoughts are the root of her laziness the woman then starts to unpick

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them by doing a series of tests to prove to herself that she's wrong. She might speak

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up in a meeting submit smaller tasks when she's feeling unsure and gauging the reaction

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or giving herself the chance to notice others in the office who are not fired or chastised

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simply for being wrong occasionally. Gradually she reprograms her belief and removes the main

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obstacle to working productively and efficiently.

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People procrastinate because they have a fixed mindset. I'm not going to try that new task

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because I've just never been good at similar tasks. I don't want to go back to university

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because I'm too old. I've always been this lazy it's just the way I am.

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Carol Dweck's now famous concept of fixed versus growth mindsets can tell us a lot about

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procrastination. A fixed mindset is the belief that intelligence and ability are set at birth

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and are broadly unchangeable. They're part of the personality or constitution. This means

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that there's very little point in trying to change them.

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A very negative side effect of this belief is the idea that success if it comes is natural

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and that if you're meant to do something well you ought to do so immediately and with ease.

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Someone may try a new hobby find it quite difficult and throw their hands up and quit

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because they believe that they simply weren't born with the requisite intelligence to do it.

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What's more they have a low tolerance for being a beginner. They don't want to look like they're

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unintelligent or make mistakes. So they avoid or procrastinate or fail to take action at all.

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The more adaptive and useful mindset is seeing life as a work in progress and the brain as

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a fluid trainable thing. This growth mindset means that intelligence and ability are developed

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deliberately with consistent slow practice that improves skill in increments. This way a person

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is never surprised to make mistakes as they learn. In fact they expect it. They're comfortable with

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being a beginner because they understand that mastery is a process. If they begin a task and

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are not immediately rewarded they don't quit or procrastinate. They take it in stride and carry on.

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If you find yourself with thoughts that hint at a fixed mindset when it comes to the tasks you're

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avoiding it may be time to reframe a little. Train yourself to completely forget about the big goal

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at the end. Focus only on the smaller tasks in the interim. Try to detach your ego from the outcome.

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Remind yourself that trying and failing is normal and proof that you're learning. It may even help

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to try focusing on the process instead of the outcome. Plan to do a number of hours say rather

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than assign yourself an impossible and lofty goal at the outset. As a practical example a poor goal

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would be do well on my assignment whereas a better one could be try my hardest on my assignment. The

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latter is less ego and goal-centered and is more reasonably under your control. Finally learn to

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laugh at yourself a little. Sometimes finished is better than perfect. Sometimes you might feel

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that you can't teach an old dog new tricks and as a result procrastinate on all those new tricks.

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For example despite being asked repeatedly to go to therapy with his partner he may refuse believing

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that it's just not in his nature to talk about his feelings. Here as with many cases of procrastination

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it can pay to ask sincerely what am I really trying to accomplish right now and why is what

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I'm trying to do important to me. Realizing that deep down protecting and maintaining

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his relationship is worth more than momentarily feeling right he may have the impetus to push

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past beliefs that nothing will change or he'll look stupid trying. Reconnecting with this deeper

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purpose can bring clarity and inspire action. If this rings true for you ask yourself if momentarily

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protecting your ego or avoiding the slight embarrassment of failing or being wrong is

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worth passing up on your dreams and goals. Do you keep a big bank of embarrassing memories of

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all the times people around you looked a little silly? If not then don't expect that others will

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remember your slip-ups either. People procrastinate because they have low self-esteem. According to

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Dr. Lisa Salzman and the Center for Clinical Interventions it's natural that people shy away

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from tasks that might expose any weakness or flaw. If you think that you're generally not that great

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you might avoid all situations where you have to apply yourself be appraised or rated or have

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your work looked at by others. The belief that we are fundamentally up to the tasks life throws our

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way is the root of high self-esteem. If this doesn't sound like you you may have automatically

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assumed you'll fail and now are procrastinating on the task because you know that doing it will

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expose your weaknesses to others and be painful for you. If self-belief is low enough people may

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stop themselves even from wanting to set goals for themselves convinced in advance they'd only fail.

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Unfortunately this means they never give themselves the opportunity to prove themselves

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wrong making this attitude somewhat self-fulfilling. People with severely low confidence will avoid

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challenging or pushing themselves and cringe away from criticism or failure. What better

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way to avoid failure entirely than to not even try in the first place? Someone could start to

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challenge these limiting beliefs however by gently encouraging themselves to take small steps to

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prove themselves wrong. Divide every task mentally into three parts one deciding two starting and

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three finishing often people who procrastinate due to low self-esteem tried directly jumping to

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the second part however try to take some time to decide how you want to go about the task and gather

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everything you'll need to begin. Once you've made that initial step and have the resources to begin

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proceeding to part two becomes easier. As you continue with the task try to picture all the

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good outcomes that can come from doing the task well or even finishing it all to reach part three.

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This is a mindset that will take practice to incorporate but it'll become easier with each

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task you complete. Sometimes even deliberately courting a negative outcome can be strangely

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liberating. A person deathly afraid of sharing their art may suddenly realize they don't actually

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care so much once they get their first dreaded negative reaction. If you have low self-esteem

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it may help to journal down all the ways you've survived and overcome adversity in the past already.

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Try to find evidence for a new narrative one in which you're capable and able to deal with

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what life throws your way. People procrastinate because the task is confusing or overwhelming.

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Often the barrier is simply that although the alarm bells are blaring in your head get this

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done you're not at all clear about how to do that or what steps to take first. So you turn up to the

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task filled with the desire and motivation to do good work but you're confused and have no direction

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the thing looks overwhelming. Immediately your anxiety goes up and your sense of efficacy and

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confidence goes right down. Though such a problem isn't strictly emotional to start with it soon

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leaves you with a bunch of unpleasant feelings that can make you spiral out of control. It's an

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organizational problem and this is not something that is ever strictly taught is it? Here the solution

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is not emotional so much as practical and executive. It's all about carefully dividing tasks up into

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smaller tasks and completing them in an orderly fashion. Procrastination can happen when there's

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a lack of organization in the way a task is approached. Sorting through a task step by step

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can give you a sense of control and order and give you clear concrete work to do every time

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you sit down to tackle it. Here laziness tells a very different story about someone's thought

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process. A complicated work presentation you need to compile within two weeks can look

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overwhelming and lead you to procrastinate. Instead of reprimanding yourself for being lazy

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though simply take a deep breath and break the thing down. Ask yourself what is the one thing I

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need to do to start moving again? Just one thing. What can you do in the next five minutes for example?

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Identify separate tasks of researching data, compiling a graph or two, finding images,

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writing some descriptive text, getting someone to look over the slideshow,

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adding a list of references or further reading etc. Don't worry if you don't have a 100%

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clear picture before you begin. Only aim to make it a little clearer and understand your very next

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step. Focus on what needs to happen instead of the big picture. Now you can relax and let your

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field of attention shrink down to a more manageable single task one at a time. Set aside some time

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and work on just one aspect. Adjust as you go. Feeling confused or overwhelmed is not a cause for

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alarm. It's simply a little bell inviting you to stop for a moment, reorient yourself to your goals

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and values and remember what you were ultimately trying to achieve. What is unnecessary and can be

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eliminated? What is the core and what's peripheral? Center yourself and wait a moment.

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Sometimes giving confusion a little time is all that's needed to gain some clarity

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and an idea of what your next step should be.

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People procrastinate because they're mentally or physically unwell.

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Emotional barriers, like fear of failure or not being good enough, and executive barriers,

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not knowing how to break an overwhelming task down systematically, are two of the most common

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reasons for the laziness that is procrastination. But there are other barriers too, some of them

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even invisible to the person themselves. Again, laziness takes on a whole different

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meaning when we can view it through an alternative lens. We might find that we or others around us

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aren't lazy at all. Untreated anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses, ADHD, undiagnosed

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autism, stress or trauma can hinder the many cognitive processes that need to take place

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to complete a task. Low confidence and self-esteem can lead to self-sabotage.

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Physiologically, it's obvious that work is more difficult to stick with if a person is sleep

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deprived, undernourished, ill or uncomfortable. Ask if you're avoiding the task or are just

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tired, hungry, thirsty, too hot or cold, etc. On this note, it's worth taking a moment to separate

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lazy from tired. Sometimes, I don't have the energy, is actually just code for

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I have the energy, I just don't want to spend it on this. You may find an overachiever calling

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their genuine exhaustion laziness. The socially accepted response to fatigue is to fight against

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it, drink coffee, push through and stop whining. But what if we were to force an elite athlete

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to act in this manner? We would hopefully recognize that rest and recovery are part

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of the winning equation to be able to push even harder. I should be any different with our mental

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energy. You may find your body forcing you to take a break if you don't heed its polite request for

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a rest. Here's where self-condemnation and blame enter again and have a disastrous effect. We fear

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inactivity, rest or quiet contemplation and so we browbeat ourselves into doing more when we're

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tired or at least making sure we don't actively enjoy our downtime by piling on guilt when we stop.

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A little self-awareness and compassion can make the difference. Take a nap and note your feelings

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toward the task when you're refreshed and rested. Give yourself permission to take a walk and do

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something else and see if your motivation returns in time. Be honest about whether you're giving

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yourself adequate time to sleep and rest. We're not machines and treating our bodies like they're

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not allowed to rest can have dire consequences, not to mention making us less productive anyway.

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As an example, someone might find they repeatedly have to force themselves through a new project.

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They stop and ask, is this the most important thing I should be doing right now? And discover that

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in fact their priority at that moment is not the project but their own rest and well-being.

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By simply changing your focus from judgment to curiosity, you can start to look at laziness

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with compassion and empathy and start finding real ways around it. Laziness will seem like a

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symptom of a bigger problem, one that can always be solved.

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Finally, it's worth noting something else that's seldom mentioned. If you're avoiding a task you've

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told yourself you want to do or should do, take a closer look. You might discover that you don't

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in fact want to do it or that your motivations are external and superficial. In this case,

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your avoidance is really a sign that the task is not something you're truly aligned with.

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You don't care, you're apathetic, and you'd rather clean the bathroom for the fifth time

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than devote your time to this thing. While this isn't always helpful information,

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don't ignore this warning sign about what you care or are passionate about.

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It seems obvious when you say it deliberately. Nobody is intrinsically a failure or wants to

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be lazy or weak-willed or apathetic. We don't want to view ourselves that way,

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and we will engage in mental acrobatics to avoid it. We all have a desire to work

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meaningfully toward goals that are important to us. If you find yourself feeling lazy,

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it's almost always a question of removing the barriers and identifying what is actually keeping

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you from motion. Once the barriers are removed, it then becomes a lot easier to realistically

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develop self-discipline. It's just about setting yourself up for success rather than continually

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butting your head against a wall that you cannot identify. Self-discipline, it's been said,

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is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. There's always an opportunity cost,

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but in truth, the opportunities you're forgoing by acting disciplined aren't very large.

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Comfort, security, safety, television, gaming, junk food, and so on.

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Pushing ourselves through our fears, limitations, and bad habits takes energy and is uncomfortable,

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but is mere discomfort what you will allow to keep you from what you want most?

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Control the conversations in your mind.

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We've discussed how issues relating to mental health and wellness can have a significant impact

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on how much we procrastinate, and this brings us to a closely related problem that exacerbates our

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tendency to be lazy. This is our inability to control the conversations in our head

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and letting negative thoughts get the best of us. This can be an especially big problem

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for those of us that suffer from mental health issues like anxiety, OCD, etc. In fact, research

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shows that this inability to control the conversations in your mind in childhood can be a good predictor

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of anxiety-related issues later in life. Because we constantly keep painting a negative

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portrait of ourselves and our capabilities in our mind, it's no surprise that we struggle to

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muster the willpower to start being productive. Fortunately, there are several things you can

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do to regain control of the conversations and narratives in your mind. The first and most

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important way to control conversations in your mind is to practice positive self-talk. This can be done

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through a mantra or affirmation which says something along the lines of, I will not let

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negative thoughts get the best of me. You can tailor your mantra to your personal needs or use this

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one. Besides affirmations, there aren't other ways to combat negative self-talk. Negative self-talk

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tends to fall into one of four major categories. The first of these is personalizing, meaning

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that you tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, even if you didn't exercise much control

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over the outcome. Another is polarizing, wherein you see things as black and white with no room

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for a gray area. You are either excellent or a failure. The third category is magnifying.

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Here, you disproportionately focus on the bad while discounting everything good.

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Simple mistakes turn into disasters. The last and most harmful category is catastrophizing,

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where you always expect the worst from any given situation and can't shake thoughts of how bad

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the consequences from such an outcome will be. Particular situations will generally cause you

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to fall into certain types of negative self-talk, so work might encourage catastrophizing, whereas

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relationships might trigger personalizing. If you can identify these traps and patterns beforehand,

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replacing negative thoughts with more positive substitutes becomes easier because the expectation

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blunts the force of the negativity. It's no longer a spontaneous thought you had,

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but a pre-programmed reaction that you're eliciting.

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Seeing the mechanical reactions of your brain will reduce the effect of the negative self-talk

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and allow you to feel a greater sense of control over the conversations in your mind.

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The task of identifying specific patterns of negative self-talk and replacing them with positive

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thoughts will undoubtedly be challenging in the start. You'll find yourself wanting to give in

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to the temptation to just not do anything and abandon the effort to change. However,

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when this happens, ask yourself a simple question. Am I doing the easy thing or the right thing?

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This is important because our thoughts influence our behaviors much more than we might realize.

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If I think I'm a loser who just isn't cut out for success, that's the behavior I'm going to

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manifest because it's what I think of myself. Changing this thought pattern is the only way

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to start changing your behavior, too. Remember, our thoughts, conversations, and narratives about

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ourselves aren't just relevant to our productivity levels. They seep into every aspect of our existence,

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and this is because the way we do one thing or anything is the way we do everything.

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The image we have of ourselves influences our work, our relationships, our self-esteem,

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our everything. It all starts from the way we think and perceive ourselves.

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The smallest things can have the biggest impact over the long term.

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When trying to be productive, we overwhelmingly focus on what we should do,

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but few wonder what we should think, yet that is exactly where we need to begin our journey

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of incorporating self-discipline. Takeaways

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When we label ourselves or others as lazy, are we really doing ourselves justice or is there more

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to that simple and overused term? What can we learn about simple laziness to defeat it and

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perhaps set ourselves up for success? Laziness is not so much of a cause as it is a symptom

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of emotional or organizational issues that are present within our mindsets. It's helpful to

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view these shortcomings as a series of cause and effect actions, because the reasons that we're not

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acting and not exercising self-discipline are more complex than you might realize.

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We're not lazy. We have many psychological barriers that keep us firmly rooted in place.

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Take it easy on yourself, because nothing is as simple as, I don't want to do it, so I won't.

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The main causes for so-called laziness include fear of judgment and negative emotion,

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fixed mindsets that make action feel useless, organizational issues that keep you confused

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and spiraling, and physical or mental deficiencies such as sleep, rest, nutrition, illness, and lack

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of alignment. It's not so much that we need to cure these issues, because that's a tall task

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without dedicated introspection, but if we are more aware of what drives us to act or not, then we

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stand a chance of addressing it on a consistent basis. You may never truly overcome all of those

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issues, but for our purposes, breaking inertia is the goal. In the end, whether we're being

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lazy or not, we are putting what we want at the current moment over what we want the most.

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We're getting distracted by shiny objects and temporary moments of gratification.

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And yet, what are we prioritizing at the current moment besides comfort and safety?

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Are those powerful enough motivators for you to stand between what you want the most?

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That's a rhetorical question, by the way. The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

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That little hint of wanting to quit? That's always going to be there. And if you succumb

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to it for the things that don't matter, how likely do you think you will also succumb

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when the stakes are high? It's pretty likely. Therefore, self-discipline is a matter of practice

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and doing the right thing every time. This has been 30 Days to Self-Discipline,

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a blueprint to bust laziness, escape the couch, become a machine, and accomplish your every goal.