How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 14)
Written by
Patrick King, narrated by russell newton.
What Makes Things Funny?
“Funny” is a bit like “sexy” or “cool."
It’s pretty hard to nail down a concise definition,
but you absolutely know it when you see it.
And you know when it’s not there!
That said,
humor is predictable enough for us to notice a few recurring themes.
Think about it right now—what was the last thing that made you literally
laugh out loud?
If you think back,
you can probably also imagine a time when you nearly fell over laughing at
something that somebody else merely rolled their eyes at.
Maybe you love watching those ultra-mean “insult comics” or celebrity
roasts,
but can’t understand why anybody would laugh at someone slipping on ice.
There is certainly a trend for which comedy videos go viral;
this means there are just certain patterns that tickle our funny bones.
It goes without saying - there are different ways to be funny.
Now,
this isn’t set in stone,
but there are broadly three different theories that explain why something is
funny.
Theory 1 .- Humor Relieves Psychological Tension.
You know how people say tragedy and comedy sit really close to one another?
So much humor rests on the release and relief of things in life we ordinarily
think of as scary,
unpleasant,
or stressful.
To laugh out loud is to let go of some pent-up psychological and nervous
energy—or so the theory goes.
Let’s say you turn up to the office one morning after a car accident and a
colleague sees you and exclaims in surprise,
“Oh no!
And you’ve even got a black eye!"
You could reply in a deadpan voice,
“Shh,
not so loud or everyone will want one!"
It’s funny because it releases the tension of what could be quite a sad or
uncomfortable moment.
According to the theory,
the funniness increases in proportion to the amount of nervous energy released.
Picture a terrifying earthquake hitting and demolishing the inside of a house,
leaving the occupants reeling in the few quiet seconds afterward.
Now imagine someone making a tiny fart in that very moment.
What makes it funny?
This theory also explains the humor in the “relief” people get from being
brutally honest,
relaxing their inhibitions,
or saying the thing that everyone was thinking.
In this case,
the tension could arise from everyone strenuously following some social rule or
nervously monitoring themselves.
Breaking or bending those rules is like a reprieve that makes everyone feel
good.
Theory 2 .- Superiority.
A man slips on ice quite badly,
then instantly stands up again and takes a bow before casually walking away.
People might laugh at this because his little joke releases the tension of what
might have been a serious and dangerous accident.
But of course,
there are some people who will be laughing not when the man gets up,
but when he falls ... Pies in the face.
People falling or failing.
Jokes that make fun of someone else or their suffering.
Every “yo momma’s so fat” joke falls in this category,
along with all those YouTube pranksters who rile up others for a laugh.
Imagine an annoying kid is getting ready to fling a water balloon at you,
even doing a little victory dance waving it around in front of you—right
before the balloon explodes on them.
We laugh at his shocked expression for one reason—it makes us feel better
about ourselves.
This isn’t as unkind as it sounds.
Mankind has been laughing since time immemorial at others’ misfortune.
Slapstick humor is funny because we unconsciously think,
“Thank god that didn’t happen to me!"
Theory 3 .- Surprise And Incongruity.
One final theory says that we laugh at what we do simply because it’s
unexpected.
We go along with our daily life and things are humdrum and predictable,
and out of the blue something bizarre happens.
This doesn’t mean a ham sandwich has to fly through your office window one
Tuesday afternoon (although that would probably be pretty funny)
but merely that your perception and perspective do a sudden 180-degree turn.
“My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep.
But the kids on his bus were screaming."
“I can’t believe people don’t eat the crusts!
It’s nutritious.
It tastes great—in fact,
I think it’s the best part of the watermelon."
“I was raised as an only child.
I gotta say,
my siblings took it pretty hard."
“I just watched that new Chernobyl documentary.
I’m actually from the area and grew up there in the eighties,
and I was able to count at least eight historical inaccuracies on just one
hand."
You can probably see how this shapes up in practice - you set up a situation
where your audience is expecting something,
only to surprise them with a twist that completely subverts that expectation.
In this book,
we’re going to be looking at tips,
techniques,
strategies,
and principles that come from each of these theories—sometimes all of them at
once.
How to use this in daily life .- Start paying attention to all those things in
your world that make you laugh.
Notice what stands out to you as funny and then ask yourself,
what makes it so funny?
Using the above three theories,
try to see if you can identify which best explains the humor in what you’ve
observed.
There’s no need to get all forensic and technical about it,
but think of it as gradually developing a humor sense (not a sense of humor!)
where you are tuning into the deeper level of what makes some things hilarious
while others aren’t.
Gradually,
you’ll develop an inner intuition for how to use these theories yourself,
but for now,
simply see where you can observe them “in the wild."
You’ll develop a “style” of your own sooner or later,
but it takes some keen observation to know what tickles you.
Know Your Humor Style.
While there are definitely predictable patterns to what people find funny,
that doesn’t mean that every individual person has to be funny in the same
way.
After all,
famous comedians wouldn’t be able to capitalize on their unique voice unless
people appreciated that difference.
Humor can be very intellectual and “clever,” it can be rude and raunchy,
it can be goofy and silly,
it can be physical and slapstick,
or it can be cringe-inducing and awkward.
But while comedians vary in the content they use,
they also vary in the way they use humor.
You use humor in your own individual way too.
If you can tap into your own unique style,
you’ll be far more comfortable and natural in yourself and able to make the
most of your inbuilt humor.
In 2003,
Martin and colleagues published a paper in the Journal of Research in
Personality and proposed their Humor Styles Questionnaire,
outlining four main types - Affiliative humor is when we use humor to make
other people bond with us.
This means fun banter between friends and relatable jokes.
Self-enhancing humor is used almost as a coping strategy and is commonly called
being able to “laugh at yourself."
This is humor that pokes fun at absurd or difficult situations in order to
lighten the mood and make us (and everyone else)
feel better.
Aggressive humor is what you might guess—teasing,
sarcasm,
playful criticism,
and being a bit rude.
Like affiliative humor,
aggressive humor is also designed to get others to like us,
it just uses a different approach.
Self-defeating humor is not unlike aggressive humor,
but it’s directed toward ourselves rather than toward others.
Making fun of ourselves and self-deprecating can be extremely charming and
funny when done right.
Importantly,
all these types of humor have one purpose—to get others to like us.
Be honest,
isn’t that why you’re reading this book?
Even if it’s done through gentle teasing or playfully putting ourselves down,
the end result is that humor binds us closer together,
makes us feel better,
and hopefully,
makes others think better of us.
Looking at it another way,
we can tell when humor hasn’t succeeded - it fails to win people over,
or even worse,
it makes others actively dislike us.
Do you identify with one type or another?
There are no razor-sharp lines between these types.
We list them only to get a better understanding of what humor is and how it
works.
What’s important is that the how may change,
but the why doesn’t—we want to be funny because we want others to enjoy
themselves and,
as a side effect,
like us.
How to use this in daily life .- Think back to times in the past where you have
made people laugh and see if you can identify any of the above four types.
Which form of humor did you use primarily?
Which kind of jokes and observations tended to get the most reaction from
people?
This gives you a clue about your own innate sense of humor and what you’re
naturally most geared toward.
Another thing you can begin to look at is how the same joke can be told
multiple ways.
If you notice yourself making a joke,
pause to see what “style” you’ve chosen,
and then see if you can retell the same joke but in a different way.
You can also take a pause and try to integrate the other humor styles into your
repertoire to make sure that you’re not just a one-note piano.
Finding The Humor In Everyday Life.
Okay.
Let’s dive into the nuts and bolts.
One surefire way to be a funnier person is to find funniness all around you.
You get better at entertaining others when you yourself practice being
entertained.
See the humor in everyday life—there’s plenty when you start looking,
trust me!
There are two good reasons to start living life with more playfulness and humor.
1)
You’ll relax,
get more comfortable with the funnier side of life.
There’s lots to appreciate in even a simple slice of life,
and it’s likely that you just aren’t viewing things through that filter.
So of course you won’t be as funny.
A pineapple is just a pineapple,
but it can be so much more.
Consequentially - 2)
You’ll identify loads of awesome and humorous observations to share with
others,
i.e. you’ll be more relatable,
and nothing is more impactful than speaking universal truths.
A primary aspect of humor (especially affiliative humor,
discussed above)
is being able to share your feelings with someone and find that you are both on
the same page.
You might have the same thoughts as they do about electric cars,
or you both might hate the same types of yoga.
Either way,
humor is a strong emotion,
and it creates a robust feeling of connection.
Being relatable in humor means finding commonalities that create real bonds.
We live in a world filled with real and perceived social distances,
and it's common to feel like you're drifting through many different social
spaces completely alone.
It's easy to feel alienated and disconnected.
When a well-timed joke lands with someone else,
we realize other people can relate to topics,
situations,
and issues like we do,
and this sense of isolation or alienation disappears for a bit.
That feels good.
No matter who we are or how different our lives may be,
we all laugh ...and we often laugh at the same things.
Relatability taps into our innate human need to belong to something greater
than us.
Learn how to connect this way and people will automatically like you—and
they’ll like themselves more when being around you,
which is pretty powerful.
Relatability is hilarious because of the shock involved in discovering that
something you thought only you knew or had experienced is shared in a big way.
The subject matter is not necessarily what's important.
The humor lies in the fact that you and that person now share a perspective.
For example,
everyone has experienced burning the roof of their mouth with hot pizza because
they were being too greedy and impatient to wait for the pizza to cool off.
If you were to bring this anecdote up,
it's going to be funny because it’s happened to other people in the past as
well.
The key here is to come up with an experience that is universally relatable.
Let’s make a list of other things people hate.
•Breadcrumbs in jam or butter.
•That moment when you’re walking toward someone but you’re unsure of when
to make eye contact.
•The awkward feeling when you say goodbye to someone and then proceed to walk
in the same direction.
•Honking angrily at someone in your car and then pulling up next to them at a
stoplight.
•When you start the chain reaction of a set of dominoes,
but it stops halfway through.
These are inherently funny because everyone can relate to the feelings involved.
There’s an element of relief here.
That isolation we mentioned?
You offer relief from that isolation because you’re offering people a way to
agree and shout,
“Hey,
me too!"
Not only will you succeed in stirring up that emotion,
but people are more likely to feel that you "get them" and you understand them
on a deeper level.
Here’s how to do it - Step one - find something small that annoys you on a
daily basis.
The smaller and more insignificant,
the better.
You can't talk about a topic that’s too big,
like government corruption,
because there are simply too many shades of gray and too many heavy opinions
attached to it.
Think instead of those small annoyances and pet peeves.
Burning your mouth on hot pizza.
Losing your keys.
Or,
you know,
accidentally turning your phone’s front camera on and being confronted with a
vision of yourself looking like Jabba the hut (a little self-deprecation thrown
in for good measure ...)
Step two - exaggerate in a vivid way how much pain that small thing caused you.
For example,
you could go on a big rant about how you’re surprised all three of your chins
have ever managed to fit on a Zoom call.
Maybe the pizza was so hot it melted your face off,
or maybe you were thinking about calling in sick to work because you spent
entire geological eons looking for your keys,
when they were on the hook where you usually keep them in the first place
(we’ll look at comedic exaggeration in another chapter).
Step three - connect the two.
You can say,
"I really hate it when pizza burns the roof of my mouth.
This pepperoni pizza was like taking a bite of delicious acid."
When you exaggerate,
you draw parallels and an analogy to something that people can relate to.
You come off as funny because you're referring to things they’ve experienced
in an exaggerated and vivid way.
Here’s another example - "Ikea furniture is like a puzzle that’s missing
twenty pieces at the beginning."
Step four - use it.
For example,
“That driver was so rude.
I hope he gets arrested.
No,
worse than that.
I hope he goes home and burns the roof of his mouth on some,
like,
really hot pizza."
You have essentially prepared these funny,
relatable jokes beforehand,
and now you can pepper them into your speaking to be more colorful,
witty,
and funny at the appropriate time.
How to use this in daily life .- The next time you’re out taking a walk,
put on your “comedy goggles” and start to see things around you through the
eyes of a comedian.
Look for relatable things in boring,
day-to-day life.
Imagine how a funny skit would play out in the coffee shop you’re sitting in.
Imagine that something unexpected and hilarious happens when that old lady with
the beagle crosses the road.
At this stage,
you’re not actively cracking jokes,
but still in observation mode.
You’re simply getting used to being in a certain frame of mind.
Consume More Comedy.
There’s humor everywhere.
It’s there not just in the fun stuff,
but in all those annoying things we have to deal with,
too.
On your commute,
at work,
at the shops,
at school.
(Woody Allen once said,
“Some guy hit my fender the other day.
I told him to be fruitful and multiply,
just not in those exact words.”)
Seek it out.
Watching comedy is a great way to get a feel for all these tactics and
approaches on the ground.
Watch a range of comics with different materials and styles.
If something looks really awesome to you,
ask why.
What made the joke land so well?
If you want to be funny,
it's a good idea to study people who make their living being funny.
These are the people who have spent years—sometimes decades—refining
precisely those things that really reach into other people’s worlds and make
them laugh.
Professional comedians can teach you volumes about delivery,
finding openings,
and playing with opportunities.
You also get the chance to find a few humor role models.
I get that not everyone is super loud and obnoxious—your style might be more
subtle and deadpan.
Can you find any comics out there who hit the nail on the head?
As of the time of writing this book,
Sebastian Maniscalco is my favorite comedian.
He’s funny,
but he also has well-defined personality traits.
He’s cranky,
critical,
observant,
petty,
easily annoyed,
grumpy,
and easily indignant.
Having that list of adjectives makes it pretty easy for me to simply ask,
“What would Sebastian do in this situation?” or,
“How might Sebastian respond here?"
You can start looking at situations based on their perspective.
By simply assuming their perspective,
you're more able to find the humor in certain topics that you used to think
were so serious.
You’re able to step out of your mindset and into someone else’s.
Humor is a point of view,
and you are using another person’s.
Suppose it is Halloween night,
and you’re wearing a vampire costume.
It’s pretty easy to imagine how you might play that role,
right?
Everyone knows what vampires say in certain situations.
Having a comedic role model does the same for you and makes it easy when you
run out of things to say,
or your mind blanks.
Somehow,
it lowers the stakes a little.
You can step into their shoes and look at situations in a novel way,
and at the very least,
you can find more options in how to approach humorous situations.
If I can imagine what Sebastian would say,
then I won’t have a blank mind or run out of things to say.
Don’t worry about being phony or not true to yourself—think of your comedic
role models more as a crutch or inspiration.
I can’t explain it,
but sometimes,
imitating your favorite comedians ends up making it easier to be yourself.
You’re just temporarily borrowing their confidence!
How to use this in daily life .- You might also try consuming comedy you
dislike.
Ask why you didn’t laugh.
How could you change the content or delivery to make it funnier?
First watch a clip as an audience member and simply note your immediate
response.
Then watch the clip again imagining you’re a comedy expert,
and try to analyze what you see.
How would you improve things?
If you’re not morally opposed,
just give emulating them a shot.
Go ahead,
emulate one of their jokes out loud and see how it feels to intentionally try
to be funny.
It might be awkward at first,
but after a while,
you should have a good idea for what comes more naturally to you.
Just don’t judge yourself by the first run and give up completely when even
your dog turns away from you in disappointment.
Takeaways -
•There are three main theories of humor,
i.e. what makes things funny.
The first is that humor is a release from psychological tension,
the second is that humor allows us to feel a sense of superiority relative to
others (who we’re laughing at),
and the third is that humor arises from a sense of surprise,
novelty,
or incongruence—on realizing an absurd or unexpected contrast,
our reaction is to laugh.
Humor can be a blend of all three!
•It’s important to know your own humor style so you can work with it.
Humor can be affiliative,
aggressive,
self-enhancing,
or self-defeating—but in every case,
it gets others to feel good and like you.
This is the ultimate goal of being a funnier person.
•Funny people naturally find humor in everyday life.
Humor succeeds when it’s relatable,
so look around your world for things that other people might relate to.
Identify a minor annoyance or observation,
then exaggerate it for comedic effect to create familiarity and closeness.
•You can develop your own sense of comedy by deliberately seeking out
material from professional comedians,
especially those you like the most.
Become curious about why something lands as funny,
and see if you can replicate the same thing in your own life.
Chapter 2.
The Basics.
Puns And Dad Jokes.
There’s no one joke that is universally funny,
right?
Wrong!
There is,
and this is it - Two hunters are in the forest when one of them stops breathing
and passes out.
The other hunter gets his phone and calls 911.
"Help!
My friend is dead!
What should I do?"
The operator tells him,
"Okay,
calm down.
I’m here to help.
First,
let's make sure he's dead."
There’s a brief silence,
and the operator hears a loud shot ringing out.
The hunter comes back on the phone and says,
"Okay,
now what?"
Okay,
okay,
save your rotten tomatoes.
Richard Wiseman (not “wise guy”)
is a humor researcher and has been interested in the ways that sex,
age,
nationality,
and culture affect what we find funny.
In his extensive humor research trying to understand the funniest jokes in the
world,
Wiseman found that shorter was better,
and that jokes like the above scored highly.
Whether you like the above joke or not,
you probably see that funniness is complex;
it’s not about the material but the way the listener’s attitudes and
perspectives make them see that material.
Let’s take a look at that classic and ancient art form,
the noble dad joke.
Don’t know what a dad joke is?
Here you go - Q .- What’s brown and sticky?
A .- A stick.
If you made an audible groan when reading that one,
congratulations,
you now understand what a dad joke is.
Laughing out loud and cringing in embarrassment,
it turns out,
are close cousins.
Loved and maligned in equal measure,
dad jokes are usually based on cheesy puns and things that five-year-olds might
find funny.
Yet despite how corny they may be,
there’s something endearing and comforting about a good dad joke.
Okay,
despite the cover of this book,
dad jokes are pretty solid in almost every situation.
When you’re starting out on your mission to be funnier,
a good place to start is with dad jokes (yes,
really)
since they’re easy,
low risk,
gentle,
and the least likely to offend.
What can I say,
people can’t help but laugh,
even when it’s decidedly “anti-humor."
Q - “What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor?"
A - “Where’s my tractor?"
To get better at dad jokes,
try spending more time around kids,
who are experts at awful and unsophisticated wordplay (expect butt and poop
jokes,
also).
You don’t have to be clever or witty.
You might think making a lame dad joke is embarrassing,
but there’s a secret charm to this kind of humor - it disarms people.
It lets them know that you don’t take yourself too seriously,
and invites them to do the same.
There’s a comfort and familiarity in that,
and it instantly breaks down barriers and creates more intimacy.
It’s like taking a step away from all the stress and drama of life for a
moment and going back to a simpler (and yes,
slightly stupider)
time.
This is important - sometimes,
jokes don’t even need to be funny to “work."
Dad jokes are warm,
cozy,
and inclusive,
and there’s very little chance people won’t “get” it.
At the same time,
you get to self-deprecate as others groan and roll their eyes ...all while
fostering a sense of closeness.
Remember that the point of humor is usually to get people to like you?
The humble dad joke is a heavy lifter in this area.
It’s easy to get good at puns and wordplay.
It’s even easier to be slightly and hilariously bad at puns -
•Look for double meanings so you can be deliberately misunderstood.
(“People are dying to get into that cemetery,
you know,” or,
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s fine,
he woke up eventually.”)
•Look for simple words that sound the same.
(“What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.”)
•Think about words that rhyme and put them together.
•Make up silly lyrics to well-known songs.
(“Woah,
we’re halfway there,
woah-oh,
frilly underwear!”)
•Purposefully mispronounce something to humorous effect.
•Try spoonerisms,
where you deliberately mix up words or parts of words,
e.g. saying “a bottle in front of me” instead of “a frontal lobotomy,”
or calling it a “bunny phone” instead of a funny bone.
Dad jokes are short,
simple,
and not at all about showcasing your wit or intelligence.
You can mess up their delivery as much as you like,
and they’ll land pretty much the same - deadpan or triumphant.
You can be sure to get people to give you a begrudging laugh.
Love to hate them,
or hate to love them,
it’s good to have a few dad jokes in your inventory.
At the very least,
you’ll remind yourself that being funny is not rocket science.
How to use this in daily life .- Dad jokes are easy.
You just need to have the guts to be cheesy!
That’s the keyword here - cheesy.
Try out a few with close friends and family first.
Don’t worry about being lame—that’s kind of the point.
Put on your comedy goggles again and look for opportunities.
If you’re feeling really analytical about it all,
you could follow dedicated dad joke subreddits,
join online forums or Twitter groups,
or even buy some high-end literature like 101 Animal Crackers for Kids.
Forget about perfect delivery—you’re just practicing saying corny
one-liners with a straight face!
What Funny Stories Are Made Of.
Okay,
okay,
I get it.
Dad jokes are great,
but they only take you so far.
When you pictured yourself being witty and dazzling,
the vision probably didn’t include you telling knock-knock jokes in the bar.
Let’s expand our repertoire and take a look at how to tell funny stories.
If you’ve ever tried to relate a humorous anecdote but completely fluffed the
punchline,
then you know how much of an art it is to tell a tale in just the right way.
You don’t have to be a professional comedian who finetunes their “tight
five” for years before testing it on a crowd,
though.
But it is worth understanding the structure of a good story so you can prepare
a little next time you have a good yarn to weave.
First things first - thoughtful,
solemn,
and wise are great—but they don’t make people laugh,
and they don’t create that sense of relatability.
You can actually talk more effectively about the Big Ideas if you’re funny
about it.
It’s all about finding that pop of identification and that feeling that the
other person hears you and gets you.
Second thing - you need to practice.
Yes,
some people may appear like it’s second nature to them,
but believe me,
they’ve worked at it.
If you don’t believe me,
watch old clips of comedians before they were famous.
It’s awful,
truly.
Finally,
remember the two hunters in the forest?
I’m sure you can imagine that story told in such a way as to make it seem
really sad and tragic.
That’s because the emotional impact of a story isn’t about the content,
it’s about the delivery.
Any story can be a funny story.
A funny story is simply any story told in a funny way,
i.e. a joke.
The comedy comes down to how that story is told.
Here’s how you structure your story according to the classic three-part story
arc.
You don’t start with the punchline,
right?
You get there slowly.
You take your listeners on a mini journey.
The intensity rises,
peaks,
then falls.
According to the theories we’ve looked at,
you build in a little surprise,
you set up tension and release it,
or maybe you have a good-natured laugh at someone else’s expense—or all
three.
Meet the characters .- You introduce the people and their world.
You outline their normal everyday life so you can put what’s about to happen
in context.
Introduce the tension .- Along comes a need.
Now there’s a problem.
Maybe a stranger comes to town.
The journey .- The action rises,
and your hero (is it you?)
goes on a quest to battle the dragon,
find the magic gem,
or discover who stole his lunch from the office fridge.
Climax .- This is the punchline,
the outcome,
the twist.
How did the journey end?
Return .- The hero returns from his journey a changed man.
There are lessons learned.
Lives are changed.
Lunchtime will never be the same again.
You’ll find some variation of the above in screenwriting workshops and
literary how-to books,
but the idea is the same—set the scene,
introduce a new element,
watch the drama unfold to a climax,
then wrap things up.
Forget any of these elements and your story won’t feel as natural or
psychologically satisfying.
First step to telling funny stories,
after all,
is learning how to tell a story in general.
When you set the scene,
you use relatability to build rapport and stoke interest.
When you reach the climax,
you introduce a sudden surprise or release some tension built up in the journey
phase.
Here’s a funny story - “I was walking my dog at the dog park the other day
like always,
and you know,
it’s pretty quiet in the afternoons.
So there I am,
waiting for Biscuit to do his business,
and I start singing to myself,
thinking nobody could hear me.
I was really getting into it (yes,
I admit it,
I sing in the shower too,
but that’s another story)
when this guy appears out of nowhere and smiles at me,
saying,
‘You know,
I always used to wish I could sing.’ I smiled back and puffed my chest a
little bit.
‘But now I just wish you could,’ he said."
The characters are introduced and the scene is set (pretty relatable,
right?
Everyone has been caught singing to themselves—or at least they worry they
will be!),
and then the unexpected happens - a stranger appears.
The speaker puffs their chest,
but no!
The joke is the sudden reversal of his fortunes,
and we laugh at the misfortune and sudden deflation.
This joke lacks a “return” section,
but that’s okay—we can imagine the stranger walking off and the speaker
standing there,
dumbfounded,
while Biscuit finishes his business in the bushes.
Sometimes,
silence is the best way to tell part of a story!
The great thing about funny stories is that you can practice your delivery
beforehand.
Just like the pros do,
experiment with different ways of delivering the same info.
Make sure your story is complete,
i.e. don’t skip the important parts.
You might like to have a few funny anecdotes lined up—those stories that you
know get a laugh every time you tell them.
How to use this in daily life .- This is something you can practice.
Stand in front of a mirror,
get relaxed,
and practice telling the story of your favorite movie,
paying attention to the narrative “beats” outlined above.
Truly write them out and try to fit your anecdotes or observations into that
structure.
Keep it simple and dedicate just a sentence or two to each component.
Pay attention to keeping your voice,
facial expression,
and gestures varied and interesting.
At first,
don’t worry too much about making anything funny—you want to simply get
comfortable with moving smoothly through a natural story arc with a good pace.
Funny Analogies.
Are you familiar with the comedian John Oliver?
Sole host of the comedy show Last Week Tonight,
Oliver has earned a reputation for tackling the big issues in a novel way.
He’s especially well-known for a particular style of joke that he has really
perfected and made his own - the analogy.
Take a look.
“The poverty line is like the age of consent - if you find yourself parsing
exactly where it is,
you’ve probably already done something very,
very wrong."
“Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it."
“The death penalty is like the McRib.
When you can’t have it,
it seems so tantalizing,
but when they bring it back,
you think,
Wow,
this is ethically wrong."
What makes these so funny?
Oliver is comparing two things that normally don’t go together - the age of
consent and the poverty line.
The Death penalty and the McRib.
He’s finding something funny that they both have in common.
Consider it a more sophisticated wordplay of the dad joke variety.
He’s made some funny commentary on both issues in a way that feels fresh and
unexpected,
and yet instantly relatable—not bad for just one line!
Now,
admittedly John Oliver has really flexed his muscles in this particular niche,
and you don’t have to follow his format exactly.
But there’s a lot we can learn from his style.
1)
There’s a lot of humor potential in bizarre juxtaposition (this is the theory
that says that unexpected things are funny)
2)
The more bizarre the analogy,
the funnier it could be—Oliver often pairs controversial or emotive topics in
sex and politics with ridiculous ones,
like tambourines and McRibs.
The bigger the contrast,
the better and cleverer.
3)
You can be funny and share risqué opinions on hot-button topics at the same
time How can you bring a bit of this into your own life?
First of all,
don’t worry—you don’t have to be like John Oliver who has professional
writers compiling jokes for him weeks in advance.
The skeleton of this structure is easy - find topic A,
find topic B,
then find some unexpected connection between the two of them and bring it all
together in one line.
I’ll be honest - truly hilarious comparisons do take time to create,
but with practice,
you can learn to make them up on the fly—they don’t need to be
side-splittingly funny for people to sit up and pay attention.
Being “witty” is often just a matter of appearing to others to be a little
surprising and a little playful.
Playing around with everyday expectations is precisely what will create this
expectation,
whether it’s hilariously funny or not.
If you search hard enough,
you can find a common thread in just about any two topics.
Winnie the Pooh and taxicabs.
Backpacks and old gym shorts.
Teslas and spoons.
Spoons and Madonna.
Spoons and Cambodia.
Spoons and Viagra.
You get the idea.
One easy way to start playing with juxtaposition,
however,
is to use what’s called the “comic triple."
This technique draws its power from the fact that people have been conditioned
in many ways to process information in groups of threes.
It’s everywhere.
The Three Little Pigs.
Newton’s three laws of physics.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
The Holy Trinity.
Subverting the brains’ expectations with a comic triple can allow you to
introduce some surprise in the same way that Oliver does with unexpected
analogies.
Behold - “There are lies,
damned lies,
and statistics."
“Join the army,
meet interesting people,
kill them."
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in the neighborhood to my house,
we had an enormous feast,
and then I killed them and took their land."
“I like my men like I like my coffee.
Strong,
black,
and able to keep me up all night."
When you make any type of list,
you build an expectation.
The comic triple then subverts this to humorous effect—think of it like a
very quick story and a very quick rise and fall.
In a list of three,
you prime your listeners to expect one thing,
then surprise them with a third that changes the rules,
goes in the other direction,
or comes out of left field.
It’s easy to use this formula,
and it works every single time.
Step 1 - think of a topic or theme Step 2 - in that theme,
list two expected items on the list Step 3 - list a third that doesn’t belong
on the list at all Bonus points if the third item reveals a clever word play or
a slight jab at the expectation itself.
Take a look - “I love everything about her.
Her smile,
her sense of style,
and how she never has any clue where she wants to go for dinner."
It’s not laugh-out-loud funny,
but it’s cute and unexpected.
Using funny analogies and comparisons is simple once you start
practicing—it’s all about subverting expectations or catching people’s
attention with unusual combinations.
As with any technique,
start by preparing some material beforehand;
in time,
you’ll be able to construct funny quips on your feet.
Just remember that the humor is in the unexpectedness.
Here’s Ellen DeGeneres going one step further and playing with people’s
expectations of this format itself - “I’ve always said,
I like my coffee like I like my men ...I don’t drink coffee."
How to use this in daily life .- You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each
time.
You can make a joke by simply playing with the material surrounding you.
Look for groups of three in your environment,
then quickly subvert the expectation by replacing the third thing in the list
with something outlandish.
Let’s say someone is heading to the store and asks if you need anything.
You could quip,
“Yes,
please!
I need some diet Coke,
cat food,
and ...oh,
some arsenic,
too,
if you can get it."
It’s not a full-on joke,
but it gets your humor muscles warmed up and makes room for follow-up banter.
The Art Of Misdirection.
When you play with people’s ingrained expectations,
you’re letting assumptions do the heavy lifting for you.
But you can always take a more active role and deliberately set up those
conditions yourself,
leading your listeners down the wrong path only to reveal the big trick or
twist at the end.
When you use misdirection,
you’re a bit like a magician purposely guiding your audience’s attention to
the wrong place—and then surprising them with that fact.
Here’s an example from the comedian Bo Burnham - “I believe in the Zodiac.
Yes,
I do.
Uh,
this is something a little bit morbidly ironic .- My grandmother was a Cancer
and she was actually killed by a giant crab."
This one is so unexpected that it might take you a while to “get” what’s
even happened.
As you listen,
you’re expecting one thing—a joke about how his grandmother was a Cancer
and yet also died of cancer.
The audience is in a comedy show and are actually expecting this kind of
wordplay.
But like Ellen DeGeneres does in the above,
Burnham subverts all this and goes in a completely different direction.
However,
it’s only funny because he first sets it up that way,
by announcing that he’s about to tell you something ironic.
Can you see how the joke wouldn’t make sense unless he explicitly told you to
expect an irony?
He misdirects the audience to expect this,
then delivers something else.
He creates the tension,
then releases it—but in an unexpected way.
Here’s another example from comedian Jo Brand - “It's hard sometimes
because the house is a mess,
the kids are screaming.
In the end,
my husband couldn't take it anymore and he stormed off to the pub.
I said to him - 'What are you doing here?
You're meant to be at home looking after the kids!"
The listener has the expectation of a long-suffering wife at home with a house
full of screaming kids,
while her no-good husband runs off to the pub.
Of course,
the joke is that the wife is already there.
In this case,
the misdirection is used to draw attention to big issues and societal
stereotypes—comedians who take this approach can in this way be powerful
social commentators without ever getting too serious.
Here’s another Ellen DeGeneres joke - “My grandmother started walking five
miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now,
and we don't know where the hell she is."
You can see the misdirection,
right?
To bring a little misdirection into your own life,
you need to first practice seeing the common tropes,
stereotypes,
and cultural expectations all around you.
The whole point is that these assumptions are invisible.
Challenge yourself to go about your day and look for all the ways that life
plays out in predictable ways ...then start to internally imagine what they
would look like if the complete opposite happened.
Let’s say you’re at the airport and notice the drug sniffer dogs and
security checking through people’s carry-on luggage.
The expectation is that if they find something illegal,
they’ll confiscate it.
But then it occurs to you that there are a few different ways to “take drugs."
You come up with the one-line joke - “I hate people who think it’s clever
to take drugs ...like customs officials."
So,
look around you.
Be playful and creative about it.
What is everyone unconsciously expecting in certain scenarios and conversations?
At a wedding,
everyone is expected to gush on and on about how beautiful the bride looks
because she is presumably as dressed up and gorgeous as she’ll ever be,
and people are expected to be totally bowled over by her.
It would be pretty funny,
then,
if you said,
“Wow!
So stunning.
Really,
I’ve never seen a more perfect vision of beauty.
Absolutely gorgeous.
The bride isn’t looking too bad,
either."
Once you notice all the expectations in your world,
it’ll start to seem natural to subvert them.
Look at how this comic does it - “Isaac Newton died a virgin."
(The expectation here is that the joke will somehow make fun of virgins—a
perennial topic)
“That means I have one up on humanity’s greatest scientific genius."
(The audience is now definitely expecting the comic to brag about not being a
virgin,
and therefore being better than Isaac Newton.)
“Because I’m not dead."
(Expectation subverted—the comic totally is a virgin and has been leading his
listeners down the wrong path.)
The above joke could only have stemmed from the comic’s keen understanding of
what people are expecting to hear when you tell a funny story about virgins.
Similar jokes subvert the very same expectation—in a cartoon,
someone dies and expects to be met in heaven by the mythical “seventy-two
virgins."
But the virgins are not what he expects—they’re all nerdy overweight gamers
wearing fedoras.
You can use misdirection in many ways beyond the verbal,
however.
You could “mislead” your audience by the very way you speak,
dress,
or behave,
inviting them to play into expectations and stereotypes,
only to shatter them.
Remember,
the heart of the humor is in the surprise—you could create this surprise
simply by saying something shockingly vulgar in a very prim accent,
or behaving in ways completely opposite to what people would expect,
given the way you dress.
How to use this in daily life .- Notice where you’re naturally telling
stories to people in ordinary life.
At first,
simply become aware of yourself playing into expectations.
Then,
internally imagine what it would look like to violate those expectations before
literally speaking out to do so.
For example,
notice how you’re telling your neighbor how happy your family has been since
buying an enormous caravan.
Wouldn’t it be funny to weave a long story that suddenly ends with,
“So now I spend every evening in the caravan alone and the family has never
been happier.”?
You might want to incorporate this practice into the rubric you have for
comedic stories.
“What will people think at the beginning of this story,
and how can I change that?"
Be Oddly Specific.
If there’s a theme I hope that you’ve learned so far from this book,
it’s that to be funny,
you don’t always need to actively attempt to be a standup comedian.
If you constantly try to crack jokes and set up punchlines,
chances are that you’re probably going to be more obnoxious than funny.
People will see the effort and not the humor.
There’s a whole universe of funny out there,
and very little of it comes down to punchlines and zingers.
Know what makes things funny,
know what makes you funny in particular,
and make an effort to go out and find the funniness in everyday life.
Then,
inject this into every conversation by playing with subverting expectations,
poking fun,
or creating tension—that you then release.
Funny people are funny all the time,
not just when they’re telling jokes or stories,
and what makes them funny is their openness and willingness to be entertained
themselves.
It comes down to personality—people who are funny don’t take life seriously.
They’re creative,
fearless,
quick,
childlike,
and a little bit naughty.
Keeping this in mind,
let’s consider those people who are not necessarily jokesters,
but who simply have an aura of humor and playfulness around them.
“Colorful” characters may dress outlandishly,
or simply have a way with words.
They may tell a positively hilarious story that has everyone enraptured simply
because of the way they describe things.
Instead of saying someone is stupid,
they say they are a “nincompoop” (when last did you hear that word?)
or “dumber than a bag of hammers."
They don’t say “he had a few teeth missing,” they say,
“he had teeth like a row of bombed houses,
bless him."
You get the idea.
You can be much funnier yourself by simply refusing to default to lazy,
uninspired language and instead use some flavor.
Don’t go for boring and over-sanitized.
Instead,
pepper your stories with zingy details,
funny words,
or unexpected and creative phrases.
Someone who “dances funny” is barely a blip on our screen,
but someone who “dances like a gorilla cooking an omelet” catches our
attention immediately.
Usage #1.
The first step is to destroy normal adjectives from your vocabulary and replace
them with something that you have to think about.
Other people often will not have actively thought about it,
and it will be unexpected.
If you wanted to say that your weekend was “good,” what might be better and
more descriptive ways of doing that?
Good -> imaginative -> splendid -> like a big Bloody Mary -> better than using
the bathroom after a long car ride -> almost as good as Christmas morning.
It’s not difficult,
but it’s not easy to come up with on the fly,
either.
Whenever you come across a normal adjective,
think of what other synonyms you might use.
Your listeners will love you for it,
I promise.
Usage #2.
Another way to inject vivid and outlandish imagery into your daily speaking is
to simply choose to describe observations,
actions,
and objects in an unconventional and creative way.
For example,
Amy Schumer has a great example of this when she describes her sleeping
positions.
She could describe how she sleeps as “messy” or “weird."
She could even go another level up and say she sleeps like an “unsalted
pretzel."
The unsalted pretzel gives you a mental image,
but she does even better.
She describes her sleeping position to be “as if she fell from the top of a
building” or “in the shape of a swastika."
There’s your instant mental image,
which now has the added intelligent humor of combining two very different
concepts (sleep and swastika,
sleep and falling off a building).
Another example of this is from P. J. O'Rourke,
who described his experiences with local military in the Philippines,
involving contact with a small policeman who amazed him.
He described the policeman as very intimidating and scary,
but also very petite.
His exact phrasing was,
"He looked like an attack hamster."
Even if you're not trying to be funny,
just the way you come up with analogies on how you contrast and compare
different concepts can make for really funny descriptions.
How do you master the art of humorous descriptions?
The first step is to attempt to disassociate from what you see and just focus
on the elements and traits of what you see.
For example,
in the case of P. J. O'Rourke,
you would set aside the fact that you were looking at a police officer and
focus on the elements and traits of the police officer.
He was small,
petite,
scary,
intimidating,
powerful,
fierce,
authoritative,
serious,
severe,
and elfin.
What are two distinct concepts that would fit the descriptions above?
Boom—attack hamster.
This type of humor really stretches your imagination and creativity.
You're forced to brainstorm what the basic elements are related to and what
they resemble in a physical level.
You exercise your creativity and come across as smart,
interesting,
and switched on.
Usage #3.
The final way to use better imagery is to use popular culture references to
replace adjectives.
The more widely known the reference is,
the better the joke.
However,
there is a risk some people will completely miss the reference and not know
what you’re talking about.
So,
tread carefully and know your audience with this one!
Let’s pick a well-known reference to use - the corruption of the Olympic
Games.
It’s not something that people know details about,
but it’s something that people generally know exists.
What traits would you assign to this reference?
Corruption,
unfairness,
inequality,
deviousness,
sneakiness,
and so on.
You can use the traits of the reference to describe things,
such as “That cashier gave me a one-dollar bill back instead of a ten-dollar
bill.
Does he work for the Olympics or something?"
You’re replacing the word “corrupt” with a popular culture reference—a
much more descriptive,
timely,
and vivid way of speaking.
Let’s use another well-known reference - the television show Game of Thrones.
Use the traits of the television show to describe something—in this example,
“addicting."
“This octopus pie is almost as addicting as watching Game of Thrones.
It’s amazing."
It only takes a little bit of effort to begin replacing the words and phrases
in your vocabulary to sound like a completely new person.
Be specific,
be colorful,
be unexpected.
Deep inside every one of us is a funny little kid with some strange
ideas—it’s just a matter of consulting your inner weirdo!
How to use this in daily life .- Take up creative writing.
Seriously.
Poets,
playwrights,
and authors use many of the same skills that comedians do since they play with
language.
There are now great apps and tools to introduce you to a new and interesting
word every day,
or challenge yourself to pick up the thesaurus and come up with a more
interesting adjective than the usual.
Look at funny traditional expressions or play with using archaic or outmoded
language.
Your granny probably has a few old-fashioned but hilarious phrases—steal hers!
The point is that there are over one million words in the English language
alone,
so you really aren’t taking advantage of a low-hanging piece of fruit.
Takeaways -
•The “dad joke” is a good way to start out.
It’s low stakes,
harmless,
and guaranteed to get a reaction.
Dad jokes are made up of silly word plays,
puns,
rhymes,
and mildly humorous (or groan-worthy)
one liners.
The shorter the better!
•To tell a funny story,
you need to deliver it in a psychologically satisfying way.
First introduce the characters and lay a baselines context,
introduce a problem or a change,
set them off on a “journey,” describe a climax,
then have them return.
Most stories fail because there isn’t enough context and background
established.
•Funny analogies ala John Oliver are a great way to be creative and
unexpected.
You could think of a topic or theme,
then think of two expected items on the list before throwing in a third,
unexpected item that shatters expectations.
Or you could play with contrast by comparing two very different things that are
nevertheless similar in a funny way.
•Misdirection is about deliberately leading your listeners down the wrong
path so you can heighten the sense of surprise when you suddenly change tack.
•Finally,
one way to start adding color to your stories is to be as specific as possible.
Use unexpected and colorful vocabulary,
imagery,
and descriptions in place of boring and ordinary phrasing.
This has been
How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 14) Written by
Patrick King, narrated by russell newton.