Mike Check, 1, 2, 1, 2.

1, 2, 1, 2.

We're good.

Let's do this.

Let's do the deal.

All right.

Well, hey, welcome to the to dad from dad podcast, where we reflect on what went well, what didn't, and what you'd go back and tell yourself differently.

Right.

But today's episode is a little different because rather than reflecting backwards, going to do a little reflecting forwards with that.

I. I want to welcome today's podcast guest, which is Ty.

Ty, welcome to the podcast.

Happy to be here.

So glad you're here, man.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm very stoked that you got this launched.

Yeah, very stoked.

So I've said this a couple times, but there were a handful of folks who were really pushing me to do this.

And I'm going to be honest, I think you were probably the first one that I started talking to about this probably 18 months ago.

And you've always just a great friend in general, but just an advocate to, hey, don't talk about it, be about it.

And I appreciate that, man.

Yeah.

It's funny because I was reflecting on that on the way here, and I hope I can share this, but we had a conversation about the podcast, and you were like, I want to do it, but you know, then it's going to be out there forever, and I don't know how to do any audio, like, anything, be able to edit.

And I just sat there because I was in my truck and I was like, hey, man, if you're prepared to tell your daughters that's the reason you didn't chase your dreams, and that's cool, you know?

And as soon as we had that conversation, I was like, I know this is coming, you know, like this thing's going to happen.

Yeah.

You have a way with words, sir.

Sometimes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, cool.

Let's jump into it, man.

So let's just give a little context.

So we've known each other for what, like, three years now?

Three.

Three and a half years.

Three and a half years now.

But in the course of that three and a half years, we have spent an insane amount of time together.

That's right.

An insane amount of time talking about things.

And I mean, heck, we knew each other for two years.

You invited me to your wedding.

That's right.

Which I think is probably an important place to start.

Some say the best wedding of all time.

The best wedding of all, some say.

Right.

So, Ty, you just got married about a year ago.

That's right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, a year and a few months.

Yeah.

We're getting there.

Year and a few months, got married to your wife Bailey.

Right.

And I want to tell just the.

The.

The most epic store, actually.

I want you to tell the story.

You planned a.

Probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen in a wedding.

Yeah.

Which was.

Yeah, you tell it.

You tell it.

I would love to.

And for when my wife Bailey watches this, I want her to just replay this over and over, because anytime it gets brought up with friends, I'm like, oh, that's crazy that they're talking about this.

Do you remember that time that I did this thing for you?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm using it as a cop out for the next 20 years.

Absolutely.

So, yeah.

So a little backstory here.

When Bailey and I first started dating, we took a spontaneous trip to New Orleans.

And I would argue that New Orleans is where we fell in love.

Right.

Spent a lot of time together.

I was like, man, she's pretty cool, you know, because we didn't really know.

Neither of us knew we were going to be getting ourselves into.

And we ended up going to this bar called Fritzels, which is the same place that I proposed at, intentionally in the Hawaiian shirt that I bought on the trip when we first went there.

Right.

So a lot of people see the engagement photos, and they're like, why did you do that?

And I'm like, there's history here, you know?

But at Fritzels, we ran into a piano player, and I asked him if he knew the song Levienne Rose because it's one of her favorite songs.

And he's like, I do.

And so I was like, I'll pay you to play it.

Right?

And so he played it just fantastic.

Right.

It was a great job.

And so after that, I started.

I saw how much joy it brought her, so I was like, I'm going to get this guy to play this song as much times as I can.

And so as a musician, I was like, well, man, do you know how to play it?

Any different keys?

You know, like, when you get to this part, how do you do that?

Like, what's your favorite part of this song to play?

And so I saw the joy that it brought her.

And so La Vie and Rose became very special for us, you know?

And so as the wedding was coming up about a year out, I was like, man, I really want to do something special for her, but I don't know what I'm going to do.

And I thought, you know, I could play Levy and Rose with the band on guitar, but that would be kind of expected Because I play guitar since I was 13.

And so I was like, what if I've learned piano without her knowing?

And then learn the song, and she has no idea that I even know how to play piano, Right?

But at our wedding reception, I play La Vie and Rose as a surprise, right?

And so I was like, I don't have a piano.

You know, I don't know how to play the piano.

I've never done this, but that seems cool, you know?

And so I was like, that seems fantastic.

And so I bought a piano, a little keyboard, and kept it down at my neighbor Ryan's house.

And.

And so I would be going down to hang out with Ryan.

And I'm sure Bailey had speculation at some point of like, what are these guys doing?

Because I was down there four nights a week, especially coming up to the wedding, but I learned that song, and then I played it for her.

And so when we got to the wedding, we.

We said a couple things, and I said, hey, gave kind of the backstory, and then said, you know, this is kind of what I came up with.

I'm going to play this song.

And she was like, oh, my God.

You know?

Yeah.

But what's hilarious about it is the crowd, basically, all the guests, they thought it was fantastic, you know, but when I was up there, I'd never played on that keyboard before.

Yeah.

And so I was like, I don't know how this is going to go.

I'm not a piano.

I'm not a pianist.

I know how to play one song from memory.

I have no idea what each one of these keys are.

I don't know if it's a C or a D or what.

Yeah.

And so I went up there, and I was like, man, I need a backup in case this goes sideways.

Because it's either going to be really cool or it's going to be like, why did you think that was a good idea to do that?

You know?

And so I messed up several times while I was doing that, but thankfully, she was crying.

So it gave me.

It gave me an out to be.

Stop when I messed up and be like, hey, are you doing all right?

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

And I'd start again.

And I did that about twice.

And then I didn't know what to do.

And so I was like, for the third time, when I messed up in front of 200 of our best friends, I just leaned into the microphone and said, hey, I'm not really used to playing without a crowd.

If you guys can help me out.

Yeah.

And as soon As I did that, I was like, this.

This.

I have to do this right now.

You know, So I fumbled through it, but it worked.

It did.

It did.

It was amazing.

Yeah.

And afterwards, us, we started walking around and, you know, seeing all the guests that took their time to come to our wedding, and the husbands were like, hey, that was really cool, dude.

But I was.

I was kind of expecting to have a great weekend with my wife here, and now she's upset that I didn't learn how to play the piano for.

At our wedding.

Right.

And so at first I was like, hey, man, sorry.

You know, and then eventually I was like, you know, you.

Sounds like you should be better, right?

You know, sounds like you need to try harder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, man, I love that.

I'm so glad that.

That we were there and.

And got to see that, man.

That was a special moment.

Definitely one of those, you know, we.

We talked about this a little bit before, but, like, this concept of surrounding yourself with guys that are, like, better than you, push you to be better, and that was one of those moments where, yeah.

Those other husbands were like, hey, come on, man, like, you're making me look bad here.

But the reality is that's what.

That's a space that you want to be in.

Absolutely.

Right.

Yeah.

Because at that day, she felt like the most important woman in the world.

Right.

That was the goal.

Yeah.

That's how you do it.

That's right.

You know, and so it another piece of this, though, when we went to go get married outside there, because at the venue, we got married outside, then moved inside for the reception, I wasn't even thinking about the whole getting married part.

I was like, yeah, got it.

Next 60 years.

Got it.

Already looking forward to it.

It's going to be great.

You know, I was just thinking about as soon as we get married, I have to beeline in to try and practice on that piano at least once without her seeing me.

Yeah.

And so as soon as we got married, I was like, got it.

Amazing.

We're married for forever, you know, it's fantastic.

Beelined in.

My neighbor, who had the piano the entire time, saw me, followed me, kept watch to make sure she wasn't coming in because he knew what I was doing.

Yeah.

But it worked out.

I love it.

Well, cool.

Well, hey, let's.

Let's dive into marriage a little bit.

So, you know, this is a.

Kind of a generic question, but I'm.

I'm just curious.

What.

So a year and a few months, what's been the most surprising thing about marriage newlywed.

I know that you and Bailey were really close before, but what's something that surprised you?

Yeah, for sure.

So I think I've learned that it's important where you get your advice from.

Right.

And there's a lot of times there's unsolicited advice that people give you.

Yeah.

They should read Dale Carnegie's book.

But I mean, you know, with that, everybody.

There's a lot of guys, especially older guys, are like, hey, things are about to change once you get married.

Yeah.

And really, nothing has changed except combining bank accounts and you know what I mean, it's been, you know, prior to children, it's been pretty much the exact same, if not better.

Right.

Because, like, now it's fully set in stone.

We got the plan.

This is what we're doing, you know, until.

For forever, you know, and so I think that's been one of the things of, like, most of it is just noise.

Yeah.

You know, and so find something that works for you and your partner.

Figure out how to communicate.

Figure out how to deal with conflict and resolve.

Conflict.

Yeah.

And if you can do some of those buckets, it's.

It's pretty awesome, you know?

Yeah.

It's like you get to be with your best friend all the time.

That's right.

Which is great.

Yeah.

For sure.

Man.

I'm excited for you guys.

You know, though, there has to be something, like, someone has to have given you some advice that.

Whether it was before you got married or whatever, that just really stuck with you.

What.

What was that?

What was that advice?

For sure.

I'll probably get choked up talking about it.

So I was in Houston at the Woodlands for a wedding, and Bailey was in the wedding.

So during the day, I spent time with her dad.

This is before I had the conversation with him about asking for his blessing.

And I knew I was going to do that.

It's important for me to do that.

Right.

Because someday, if we have a daughter, I would really prefer that type of, you know, type of deal.

That's right.

And so I was sitting with him at a bar, and marriage got brought up.

And I just looked at him.

I was like, hey, this isn't the conversation.

Like, I need you to know I'm not.

We're not sitting here at a bar so I can have the conversation with you.

And he said, okay, well, hey, before we have the conversation, is there a couple things that I can tell you?

And I said, I would love to hear it.

And he's an amazing father in law.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, hit me.

You know?

And he said, two things.

Number one, do not break yourself to buy a ring.

She does not care about the amount of diamonds in it.

She doesn't care about all these other things.

She just wants a ring from you.

Right.

And he's like, you can always get a bigger one later.

Yeah.

Right.

And so I was like, good piece of advice.

You know, Pretty.

Pretty sound.

But the second one is the one that really stands out in that conversation.

And he said, hey, you.

You seem to take work pretty seriously.

And I was like, yeah, I do.

And he said, you seem to be, you know, wanting to achieve a lot of things.

Right.

In business and make a lot of money.

And I said, sure.

You know, a lot of people do.

And he said, I need you to know that all of that is noise, and the only thing that matters is you and her.

And I was like, dang, dude.

Because for a lot of us, especially guys like us, it's important to.

To basically get everything you can, you know?

And so when he said that, especially from a guy of his stature, and I say that because he did really well for himself.

He seen the other side.

He's gotten to some of those places, and he's able to look back and be like, hey, I was gone for my family, earning these things for a very long time.

I need you to know that it's important that you think that that is.

It is noise.

Right.

And I feel like that has shifted the way that I see work now.

Yeah.

In a really great way.

Yeah.

Right.

And it actually shifted the way that I goal set, because every year I write down my goals for 2020, you know, 20, 25, 26, and whatever.

And the first goal that I have is just keep being married.

Yep.

You know, dude, I love that.

Yeah.

It's the very first goal.

Right.

And so.

Because all the other goals can go to the back of the line, as far as I'm concerned.

Right.

Because keep being married is the number one goal.

Yeah.

And so it's kind of shifted.

It shifted, I guess, my perspective on a lot of these things.

Yeah.

And so I remember when I first showed Bailey that, she's like, you know, what is this?

You know, what does this mean?

Right.

Is this, like, a bad thing?

And I'm like, no, no.

Not that.

It takes an absurd amount of effort, necessarily.

It just needs to be priority number one.

Absolutely.

How I view these things.

Man, that's cool.

I didn't know you did that.

That's awesome.

Yep.

That's a great.

That's a Great frame of mind to get in.

I think so, too.

Yeah.

So.

When you.

You guys are some traditions or what are some things that you and Bailey are doing now that you're, like, you're intentionally building before you have kids.

Yeah.

I have to give all credit to her with this, because there's a few things that have happened since we have become married that have, I guess, slightly shifted.

I feel like she has done in a phenomenal job at curating a home.

Right.

And so, like, when I had my own apartment or lived separately, it was an apartment.

It was just a place to be at.

It never felt like home, you know, like, no matter where I lived.

Yeah.

And so now when I walk in, it feels like home.

So whether it's doing cooking or making sure there's certain decorations set up and whatever.

But one of the things that we do.

We started this year, is we always were.

We're basically trying to.

Before we have kids, make sure Christmas is special for us.

Oh, yeah.

Because we have to see both families.

We have all the travel and all of that.

And it was important to her that, hey, we do presents together and we spend time together, and we do a special dinner together.

And at that special dinner, we actually have this mug.

Right.

Which is like an anniversary mug, and we make sure to get a drink in it, and we'll share that drink.

It's something that her parents did, but she's also big on traditions, and so she's building some of those things in for us, which is fantastic, because I.

By myself, I wouldn't think to do that stuff.

Right.

Like, it's just Tuesday.

Yeah.

I feel like it's just.

I'm wired differently that way.

Yeah.

But I think it's amazing that she's spending all the time and effort to put that stuff together.

Yeah.

Because it.

I like it.

I enjoy it.

Absolutely.

I'm kind of.

I'm kind of reflecting on Whitney and I's Christmases before we had kids.

I got to be honest with you.

I don't.

I don't really remember a lot of those.

We were both going to college and.

And working, and.

I think that's a good word, Ty, is before you have kids, you know, and it's probably birthdays.

It's probably.

It's probably Christmas, but make those special for the two of you before you bring in kids.

I love that.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

And it's.

There was some really sound advice for some of our close friends that have been married for a long time, people we look up to, and it was, hey, after you get married, before you have kids, take a year and do all of the things that you want to do.

Yeah.

And so, like in 2025, we did Portland, Maine, you know, we went to Europe, we did all of these things.

Got all the travel out of the way because the, basically the feedback was, don't worry about money.

Yeah.

Do it nice.

You can make money later.

But the time you will never have again.

Right.

Or at least for 18 to 20 years, things will just change.

Right.

And for the better.

Things will change.

Yeah.

And so take advantage of that time.

And so 2025, we did it.

You know, we did all of the things.

Yeah.

And it was, it was probably the best year of my life, frankly.

Yeah.

I got some sweet pictures of you from Switzerland.

Yeah.

That was amazing.

The Matterhorn.

The Matterhorn, yeah.

Bailey says the Matterhorn is like my, the Roman Empire.

Because a lot of guys get fixated on stoicism in the Roman Empire and all of that.

And she's like, the Matterhorn was your Roman Empire.

And it was, she was not lying.

I showed up and I just couldn't stop staring at it.

I was like, this thing is fantastic.

Yeah.

You said stoicism.

We got to go there, man.

Happy to.

Yeah.

So early on, after you and I met, I, you know, we, we had a connection.

I, I, at least I feel like we connected really early and for sure.

I remember one day we were driving somewhere in your truck, and I don't know why I felt compelled to, but I started bearing my soul to you, and I was like, man, I've just been really wrestling with this, like, overwhelming sense of fear of death lately.

And, you know, at the time, I think probably had like a four year old and a seven year old and just the weight of, of fatherhood and, you know, career and everything, and all of these people just depending on me, and I just had this overwhelming fear of death.

And you kind of pointed me towards some Stoic principles.

And since then, you know, we actually had Ryan Holiday as a guest speaker at a, at the company that I work at a few years ago, and he came and talked about some principles from the book Courage is Calling.

But, you know, since then, you know, we've read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and we've looked into some Seneca stuff and some Epictetus stuff.

And I don't know, man, just, I, I want to, I'd love to hear your perspective on stoicism.

And, you know, specifically when you think about, for, since we had that conversation to now You've been married.

And I remember then I was like, hey, I've got this overwhelming fear of death.

And you're like, hey, not to be rude, but you're dumb.

Like, have you heard of this?

Probably ruder words.

Right, right.

You're like, hey, you should check out this thing called stoicism.

Right.

Yeah.

And all of that.

And.

But I'd love to hear your perspective on, you know, has that changed at all?

And then I want to dive into a little bit of, like, kind of how I've balanced stoicism with, like, my faith, because I know that to the outside world, those things can be a little conflicting.

And so tell us.

Tell us about stoicism for you.

Yeah, for sure.

So in stoicism, one of the things that I liked was Memento Mori, essentially, remember that you will die.

And when I was younger, I would.

I still do this about every couple years, but I have a journal entry, and it's S I D E. So should I die early?

Yeah.

And it's the things that I would want the people that I'm interacting with the most now and care about the most to know should I pass away.

Right.

And I found a lot of comfort when I was younger being able to write those and be fulfilled to the aspect of.

There's a lot of things I'd still like to do in life.

And.

But if I died today, not a lot's in the gas tank.

Right.

I did it.

Right.

And so I never felt this fear of death when I was younger.

And perhaps that's perspective just because I hadn't lived enough.

But I think a lot of it was.

I thought a lot about death and became okay with it.

Yeah.

Because, you know, I figured, well, if I'm dead, I really wouldn't care, you know.

Yeah.

It impacts others more than it would impact me.

But I'll tell you this.

Things have changed because I never feared death until I fell in love with my wife.

Yep.

Yeah.

And so it shifted from.

I used to have this view of, well, you know, if I were to pass away, there's a lot of things I'd like to do.

But I've.

I've done really great now.

But the weight of the things I'm going to do in the future now with her involved.

Yeah.

Way heavier, you know, have a family, be able to do that, still see the world together.

Like, there's a boatload of things that I look forward to doing that I'm like, I really don't want to miss that.

Yeah.

You know?

Yep.

And so it shifted some priorities, like, pretty greatly for me, for sure.

And so it's still something I think about regularly and try and maintain, you know, not dying, I guess, would be the easiest way to put it.

Right.

But there's more weight behind it now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For me, that's.

That's the fear of death.

The.

It's.

It's not death itself because like you said, I mean, I'm.

I'm dead.

I'm not going to care.

Right.

And.

And, you know, my faith, I. I'll be in a better place.

You know, we haven't gotten into much of my background, but my mom passed away back in 2013.

And.

Look, when.

I've got a lot to look forward to in death from my perspective, because I'll be able to meet some grandparents that I never met and see my mom again.

But, man, what.

What I.

What I.

The reason I. I do still fear death is because I. I look at my girls and I look at my wife, and I want to be there.

It's.

It's fear, selfishly.

Yeah.

It's.

It's FOMO.

Yeah.

Fear of missing out 100.

I want to be there.

Yep.

And I've become okay acknowledging that.

Yeah.

Because at first I struggle with it, coming from the more stoic mindset of it, and now I'm like, no, no, no.

I selfishly want to be there for this thing because it's going to be really cool, you know, and even the potential problems that will happen someday, I want to solve those.

Right.

I want to have those problems.

Right.

You know?

Yeah.

So.

But it's been.

It's been an interesting transition.

Say at least now there's other parts of stoicism that I really like that I still utilize, but that one has shifted a little bit.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think, you know, stoicism, for me, just as I've gotten older and taken on more responsibility, being able to read meditations and get a peek inside the mind of who?

Someone who at the time was the most powerful man in the world.

I mean, you.

To have the opportunity to.

And.

And honestly, dude, for Marcus Aurelius to be so vulnerable in that.

In that.

In those writings in that journal.

100.

It's.

It's grounding it.

You heard.

You hear the phrase, it's lonely at the top.

And there's some truth to that.

I mean, the.

The more responsibility you have really, like, at work and in an organization, your.

Your sphere of, like, confidants gets smaller and smaller just because there's things you can and can't talk about.

Right.

For sure.

But, you know, to think about Marcus Aurelius back in the Roman Empire, and to think about man, he was.

He's probably pretty lonely at times.

Yeah.

I mean, respectfully, he was the closest thing to immortal God right.

At that point.

Yeah.

He could have anything that he wanted.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

You know, and so that's why.

But with Back to the Memento Mori, not sure if this was true because I wasn't there, but I'd read a lot that they actually used to keep skulls to remind them.

That's right.

That they're mortal.

Yeah.

Right.

And like, you are just a man.

Right.

And I think there's a lot of weight behind that.

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, I mean, even here recently in the last year, I've.

I've.

I've reread Meditations.

I'm.

I'm been reading an epic Tetus book.

And, you know, I do.

I do, like, I try to do a quiet.

I don't do it every day, but I try to do a quiet time where I read the Bible every day.

But I found I find tremendous value from the wisdom of some of those philosophers that subscribe to this doses and principles.

I mean, I. I don't.

I don't really view those two.

Those two schools of thoughts as mutually exclusive.

Right.

And we've talked about that.

That's right.

Because I remember having conversations with you, Right.

With your background, your faith, like, how do you balance these things?

Because in a stoic view, it could be things just happen.

Right.

And we associate positive or negative, you know, connotations to them.

But then on the alternative view, there could be.

Well, there's a plan and this thing was good, you know, and so you balance between the two.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm going to put you on the spot.

Yeah, hit me.

You just reminded me, though.

And.

And it's funny.

What's the story?

The parable, The Chinese parable.

Yeah.

You think you can tell us what it is?

I think I can try.

Okay, go for it.

Yeah.

So basically, Chinese farmer has a son, right?

And at their ranch, they have horses.

And one day all the horses run off the farm.

Yeah.

And so the entire village comes up and they say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry that all your horses are gone.

And the Chinese farmer says, we'll see.

And so a few days later, the horse comes back, brings a bunch more horses.

All the villagers come up and they say, man, it's so amazing that you have all these horses now.

Said, we'll see.

You know, and so the Chinese farmer's son is then trying to break in.

One of the horses falls off.

Break.

Breaks his leg.

The entire village comes up and says, oh, my God, I'm so sorry that that happened.

Yeah.

And he said, we'll see.

And then a few months later, Right.

When the injury is still prevalent there, the village goes off to war, and his son is not able to get drafted because he's injured.

Right.

And so then the entire village comes up and says, that's so great your son didn't have to get drafted.

Yeah.

And he said, we'll see.

Yeah.

And so the principle there is that these things will happen to you in life, but we get to decide whether or not there's good or bad connotation.

That's right.

And a majority of times, when you look, in hindsight, everything seems like it might have happened for a reason.

Right.

But really, we're assigning that value to it.

That's right.

They're just things that happen.

Yeah.

And so if you take your frame, if you take yourself out of the frame of, like, this is good or this is bad, and just acknowledge that this is just this thing that happened.

Yeah.

It does help me rationalize what could be perceived as bad things.

Yeah.

I think that's true.

And I.

You know, the best thing that ever happened in your life could be the worst thing that happened to you today.

Lottery winners that go broke in two years.

That's right.

Yeah.

It's a great example.

Yeah.

Or you go through some turmoil and you become a pretty durable human on the other end of it.

That's right.

You deal with challenges, you learn hard things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, cool.

All right, so what.

Let's talk about father fatherhood.

So, you know, again, since you're not a dad yet, we're going to go at this from two angles.

We're going to talk about first, what are you, like, what are you thinking about?

Fatherhood.

Right.

And then also, I'd like to talk about your childhood and your father a little bit, just kind of see where that goes.

So, but let's start with kind of where you're at right now and where you and Bailey are at.

So I'll just start kind of with a simple one.

Which is what, currently, what excites you the most about the idea of becoming a dad?

For sure, I've thought a lot about this.

We've had a lot of discussions about having kids.

I don't know if I can narrow it down to just one thing.

Right.

But I Love the idea of being able to take lessons learned the hard way and basically use those to be.

To be able to look out for your kids when they have to deal with some of those same things in the future.

I think that there's so much.

I think there's a lot of importance around having a good father in the household and much like a good mother.

Right.

But I think it makes a big difference.

And so the idea of being able to look out for them.

Right.

Have kids, raise them, watch them make mistakes, be there with them throughout those times, and then be able to pass down some of that stuff and grow them better than I could be.

Yeah, I really look forward to that.

Yeah, I think it'll be great.

Yeah.

You know, as.

As I've been recruiting folks to come on this podcast, I. I got to catch up with a really, a good friend of mine just yesterday on the drive home from work, and I was talking to him about coming on the show, and he said, well, you know, he.

He started the conversation, he said, well, I don't know what we're going to talk about.

And I said, oh, don't.

Don't worry.

You don't worry about that.

We'll take care of that.

Yeah.

And then one of the last things he said to me when we got off the phone was he said, son, I guarantee you, he's a grandfather now.

Right.

Older kids, and.

And he said, son, I guarantee you there is not a mistake on this planet earth that you could make that I haven't already made.

And I was like, yep, that's why you're coming on the podcast, brother.

Tell us about that.

You know.

Yeah, because there's books about it, but there's not a handbook and guidebook for your kids.

Right.

You know, and so, yeah, none of that really gives me cause for concern, though.

Yeah, it doesn't.

I think what probably gives me more cause for concern is what's.

How's it going to be when we actually have a newborn at home?

And how am I going to learn to do those things?

And you know me, I'm going to buy all the books, I'm going to study up, I'm going to watch the YouTube videos, y going to take the transcripts, put them into chat gbt, and I'm going to have a. Condense it for me, you know, but it's that phase.

But I think once they get a little bit older, I have zero concern about any of that stuff.

I just chuckle because what I know about you is, like, optimization.

Oh, yeah.

Like, I There's going to be some element of whether it's feeding or mixing bottles or putting a diaper on, where I guarantee you Ty is going to optimize the crap out of that.

Well, I'm gonna have help and guidebooks from Mikey, T. And Shay.

Yeah.

They've been telling me.

They're like, hey, Shay, got a bunch of information from Mikey.

Right.

It was really good.

Yeah.

And then Mikey's.

Mikey and Sher both like, we got you covered.

When it comes down to this, we're gonna tell you exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it, if that cry is a problem or if it's not a problem.

And I'm like, I didn't even think that.

I didn't even realize.

You decipher between cries.

Yeah.

100.

Just because I haven't been in it yet.

And I'm like, okay, that's another thing I'm gonna have to learn.

Yeah, that's okay.

You know, I.

Man, this is.

This is one of the things that gets me so excited about just doing this podcast.

And.

And the.

The guys that I hope that we're reaching here is like, what you just said is like the tribal knowledge of being a father.

You know, and honestly, there's.

There's a. I think there's a.

Just a lot more of that in the mom space.

You know, there's just.

I think part of it is because guys just don't talk about it a lot.

Right.

But, man.

Yeah.

When I think about you or when I think about Shay, because I remember talking to Shay right after they had the baby, and, you know, it's just kind of like, oh, boy, brother.

I remember.

I hear it in your voice.

I hear it.

Yeah, right.

And I. I. I'm just encouraged because I'm.

I'm really looking forward to having a lot more conversations about that.

Just making it more comfortable to talk about.

So another thing you know about me is I will never hesitate to phone a friend.

That's right.

If I.

If I think I can find something faster with phone in the expert, I will be on the phone with them all day long.

That's right.

Does not bother me one bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that.

But I think part of that, too with men is the details.

Piece of it.

Because Bailey will send me memes occasionally.

That's like, talked to my boyfriend and found out that his.

His friend and his girl, their girlfriend, broke up.

And so me asking him, well, when did they break up?

I don't.

I don't really know why did they break up?

I couldn't, I couldn't really tell you, you know, and then a series of questions that it'd be like, hey, I know they broke up, but I didn't ask a single question about the details behind it, you know, whereas on the flip side of that they'd be like, what happened?

What day did it happen?

What time of the hour did it happen?

Right.

And it's just different because genuinely she sends me that because I operate that way.

That's right.

100.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So this, this might be a good segue question.

So what, what kind of father do you not want to be?

Overbearing?

Yeah, it's something Bailey and I talk about pretty often.

Yeah.

There's a couple things that I think are going to be important which, but will be very hard knowing that there's going to be an error made in some way.

Right?

Yeah.

Get a little scraped up and not be a helicopter parent.

Right.

Yeah.

And so I think that that'll be hard, but I think it's really important to let them make mistakes.

Spoken to someone without kids.

Yeah.

You know, but I think another piece of this is, and my father in law does a really great job with this ever since their kids.

So basically my wife was young, he spoke to them like they were adults to an extent.

And so I watch him interact with some of the cousins and some of the younger kids and it could be a six year old and he's speaking to him like an adult.

He's not baby talking them.

And that resonates with me.

Right.

And I think that that matters because of my upbringing.

Like, you know, my dad's a contractor.

Right.

I was working in shops when I was 14.

Right.

And so from 14 to 18 did that going on and off the job sites, you know, picking stuff up, basically taking it back on a trailer.

A lot of blue collar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

But then when I turned 18, I started doing some junior estimating.

Right.

And started doing that.

Graduated college, estimated full time.

Right.

Did takeoffs and all that.

But I think what impacted this is I was having those adult conversations really young.

Right.

I was having adult conversations when I was 14, 15, because I was always around adults, I was always working, I was always doing those things.

Yeah.

And I feel like that really shaped my ability to, to basically have conversations even as a 25 year old or 27 year old in a leadership position with someone that's 40, that's been doing it 20 years.

That's right.

Right.

Because I've been having those conversations at that point by 10 years.

Yeah.

You know, and I think there's a lot of weight behind that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My, my parents, you know, I think My dad was 40.

40 or 41.

My mom was 40 when I was born.

And you know, honestly, I think, I think they were tired.

You know, I mean, you haven't, you know, whether you're like the fourth kid or the third kid, you know, your parents just kind of get to the point where the novelty of having a newborn is worn off.

Right.

I've heard the quote, having kids is a young person's game.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, right, that.

But my dad was probably my dad specifically, but my mom too, like, they always used a full adult vocabulary with me.

Yeah.

I don't mean that in like an explicit way, but like they, they were using big, complex words and I, and, and I've had a great vocabulary my entire life because of that.

And I also genuinely love public speaking.

I feel like I can clearly articulate thought very well and all of those things.

And I think that that is absolutely a derivative of getting into the adult mindset of conversation earlier.

Absolutely.

So I think that's fantastic.

I, I do want to go back to something you said which is helicopter parent and they're going to get scraped up and stuff.

And what's.

I just have an observation there, which is I go through waves.

Number one, we, we've.

Our girls are incredibly resilient.

Like if they are on the soccer field or if they're playing and they fall down, they don't look to the sideline and decide whether or not they're going to cry.

Like, we have raised tough, resilient children.

Brush it off.

If you're really hurt, come talk to us about it.

That's fine.

But man, there's times where I genuinely have feared for like dehabilitating injury.

You know, I walked out in the backyard the other day and my 8 year old is like 40ft up an oak tree.

And on, on one hand I'm like, oh, this is prime childhood.

Yeah.

But on the other hand I'm thinking, hey, it's Sunday afternoon.

That means we're either going to have to go to the ER or we're going to have to go to an urgent care hospital.

Bills are expensive.

I really don't want you to fall out of that tree and break your neck, break your arm, break.

I just don't want to have to deal with that.

This could have lifelong consequence.

So I'm wrestling internally with like, you know, I just open the door, stick My head out.

Hey, bud, let's keep the tree climbing to like 20ft and below, you know?

Right.

Even though.

Will it really make that big of a difference?

I don't know.

It makes you feel better.

It makes me feel better.

That's right.

Yeah.

And you know, but, and then.

Oh, gosh, I can't, I can't.

I could tell you, man, as a dad, like.

And I, I, I, I must have been like this as a kid.

But they do everything so fast, like running, which sounds so stupid to say, but if, but if you're a guy in like your 30s or 40s and you have kids and you watch them run across concrete, it's, it's, it's just like you're on pins and needles all the time.

Sure.

They're one croc strap breaking away from a croc coming off and eating a face full of concrete.

Yep.

But somehow they just, they survive.

I mean, the crocs are pretty durable.

Yeah.

As long as they're in four wheel drive.

Brought to you by crocs.

Right.

But that and like, dude, riding their bikes.

Yeah.

Ride their bikes so fast.

We make them wear helmets.

But you know, the scooters, I mean, do you have any idea what an acorn will do to a scooter at 20 miles an hour?

Demolish it.

Oh, yeah.

Demolished.

Yeah.

I have no idea how I made it this far.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I don't know, it's just funny because you, you go through these moments where it's like.

Yeah, that's, that's right.

I'm, I'm.

They're doing their thing.

They're playing in the dirt, their fingernails are dirty and all of that.

But then there's moments where you're like, okay, like, we made it through.

Yeah.

I'm glad that that worked out.

Yeah.

You know, so I feel like that'll.

Be hard to balance, but it's important.

It is.

Right.

Because growing up, didn't wear a helmet.

And there, there's some survivors fallacy in there too.

Right, Right.

And so that's a very real thing.

But didn't wear helmets, you know, was, was taking electric scooters off of the edge of curbs to be able to jump them.

Yeah.

And finding the best curb in the neighborhood so that way I could get the biggest jump and then throwing dirt clods at my friends afterwards.

Right.

You know, and so like.

Yep.

It's a byproduct, but I feel like it's important to do that stuff.

But I know that it'll be hard to Manage.

Yeah.

Know that it will.

Because, I mean, as a parent, you have to, you have to see the potential coming.

Yeah.

Like, you see the setup and you're like, this could.

Option A, it's great.

Option B, it's a problem, you know?

Hey, so I wasn't expecting to talk, but I, I really would love your perspective on this.

So what do you think?

Where do you guys think you're going to land on technology?

Because you're, what, you're seven or eight years younger than me, so you're, you know, you, I mean, I was, gosh, I was, I don't know, 17, 18 years old, 19 years old.

When.

20 years old when the iPhone came out.

I can't remember, but you pretty much.

Your first phone was an iPhone.

Was it an iPhone?

No, no, no.

It was a razor.

Oh.

It was a.

Okay.

All right.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm One of the OG's, dude.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

But like, I, you know, I'm just curious.

You don't have kids yet, so this is a safe question to ask.

I, I, I'm sure I'm going to come up, we're going to talk about this with some dads that have differing opinions.

But where do you think you're going to land on, like, the whole iPad tablet thing?

I know where it's going.

I knew we were going to land here.

Yeah.

I think that, I think this is a way easier said than done thing.

Okay.

Right.

Because you have a kid losing it at a restaurant.

Yeah.

And all you have to do is put an iPad in front of him, and then you can enjoy your dinner and everybody else can enjoy their dinner.

Right.

But then I feel like on the flip side of that, the kid doesn't learn how to be around adults.

If you go into that place.

I hope that we minimize screens.

Yeah.

You know, because it's, and I don't judge anybody for using them.

Right.

Like, each parent could do whatever they want to do, for sure.

But I hope that we minimize them.

Yeah.

And I think that will be hard.

Yeah.

You know, and I think there'll be pain on the other side of that that you have to earn, basically, a kid being able to be around adults.

Yeah.

But I think that it's just crazy when you, when you watch a little kid and they have a screen in front of them.

Yeah.

It's, it's almost addicting.

Yeah.

You know, and so it wouldn't surprise me if any type of research comes out in the next five, 10 years where they're like, you should probably minimize some of this stuff.

Yeah.

But then again, I totally understand how parents get to that point.

Yeah.

You know, and I still think you can probably raise great kids even if they grow up on screens and whatnot.

But Bailey and I have talked about it and we would like to try and hopefully minimize that.

But we will see once we get there.

Yeah, my, my take on that is.

It's actually, for me, it's actually not about the screen.

I think I've said this once before, but I want to protect my kids childhood and that extends into.

And maybe this is going to make me sound like really archaic and just out of touch, but because our kids don't have much screen time now, we do have some iPads in the house and we use them when we travel and all of that thing exists.

But for the most part, if we're at home, we're not on.

They're not on screens.

Right.

Sure.

Here's what I've noticed.

Their default is to go play outside.

Their default is to.

And look, the Nintendo Switch.

They play the Nintendo Switch, but typically they play the Nintendo Switch together.

Right.

Or they, they read a book or we talked about this in the last.

Or the second to last podcast.

Or they're coming out in the garage and they're bugging the crap out of me, you know.

Yeah.

Which is fantastic.

That is exactly what they should be doing.

You know, they're sweeping up sawdust and they're picking up acorns and they're doing the things and you're putting them to work.

Putting them to work.

Right.

Yeah.

But I, I just, for me, it's just, I think there's, there's, there's just burden that comes with, with a screen.

There's, you know, you're, you're kind of.

I don't want them to be robbed of childhood and I, the way I had it.

And I sound really old when I say that, but I don't, I don't know, man.

I see how you get there.

Yeah.

Because it has to be different.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny though, we've, we've been, I have kind of wondered a couple times lately, are they like gonna be technologically stunted?

I don't know how there's a planet in which you could have kids nowadays and not have them exposed to technology and screens.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like most kids will know how to work an iPhone by the time they're seven years old.

I think it's a totally unrealistic fear that they're going to Be technologically stunted because their learning aptitude is so insane.

Like, even as much.

Even as little time as they do have on them, like, if she.

She gets a hold of one of our iPhones or one of the iPads, like, she's doing stuff on there, and I'm like, how you do that?

Yeah.

Seriously.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So.

All right, well, let's, you know, kind of segue here.

Let's talk.

Talking about childhood, how I was raised.

I want to talk about how you were raised and, you know, just kind of open up the conversation.

Let me just start with, like, what do you feel like your parents and maybe more specifically your dad, just for the purpose of the podcast.

But what they do really well.

Like, what.

What did they.

What did they get right in.

In retrospect.

Yeah, for sure.

So, man, I love my dad.

He great father.

He did an exceptional job, it seems, at being able to work, start a company.

Right.

Help build it and still coach baseball, you know, Still.

Still coach football.

It's probably the only reason that I played any time in those sports is because he coached.

And so he.

I mean, genuinely, it just occurred to.

Me what you said, but, yeah, that's funny.

Yeah.

Not a good athlete, you know, and so I think there was actually an argument one time with my grandma and my dad that my grandma was like, you need to give him more playing time.

And my dad was like, he's not good.

You know, she's like, I can't do that to the other kids.

Right.

Meanwhile, I was just happy to be there.

Right.

And so.

But no, he did a great job.

I would say, from what I remember, at least, at being able to balance both of those things.

And I'm sure there were times that he was gone, because on the flip side of that, we have my mom, and my mom was always there.

Yeah.

Always stay at home.

Mom cooked all the meals, did all the things.

And so, honestly, I had really great parents.

Yeah.

You know, but I think my dad did a good job of being able to balance those things, still make the game, still coach the team, and not just make the games, be at the practices, do all of that.

If they wanted to sign me up for hitting lessons because I wasn't a good athlete, dad would take me to him, you know?

And so I look back and I'm like, how on earth did he do that?

Yep.

You know?

Yep.

And so my mom will probably hear this and be like, you don't realize I was there all the time, too, you know?

And I was like, yeah, they both.

They Both were there, and they both did a great job balancing that thing.

Yeah.

But it was cool because from a sports front, my dad was always there, always coached.

And then from a home front, like, my mom ran the home.

Yep.

You know, and so I'd say that's probably the thing that, looking back, he did a great job at.

Yeah.

What.

You know, I want to be careful how I ask this, but what is something that you'd like to do differently than.

Than you had it.

And that doesn't.

That.

I want to make sure that this isn't a negative reflection.

Sure.

On your parents, but, you know, what's something.

Maybe something that you'd like to.

Maybe.

Maybe it's something that they did that you'd like to just take to the next level or that you'd like to execute better.

Maybe that's a better way to frame it.

But what's something that you'd like to do differently than you had it growing up?

Man, it's a really great question.

And frankly, there's not a lot that comes to mind with that, because I had a great upbringing.

You know, it's funny, because my parents are doing great now, but there was a long time, especially.

They started the construction company in 07, so then 08 hit.

Yeah.

And.

And there was a time where we.

We didn't have any monies, but they shielded us kids from it.

Right.

And so we never knew.

Yeah.

And they.

They really bear the brunt of that, you know, and it's probably the right thing to do, but they did a great job with that.

There's nothing major that comes to mind that I would shift now, but it's almost hard for me to go back and think about some of those things.

Yeah.

And I almost think that whenever we have kids, I'll start to remember some of that stuff.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

So.

All right, let's.

Let's.

How about this?

So I think this is a.

Maybe I should ask this more often, but what is one of your favorite memories that you have of your dad and I.

You know, just.

Just for people listening, I. I think this is just a great question because, you know, I think a lot of times we get wrapped up thinking about stuff that matters.

It doesn't matter.

And I. I can.

I don't know what you're gonna say, but I. I bet if I ask this question more often, I'm gonna get a lot of answers, and it's kind of like, what.

Yeah, that was the thing that you said.

You know, and if your dad.

When you're I'm sure your dad will listen to this.

When your dad listens to this, your dad might even be like, what?

Yeah, I remember that.

You know, But I'm curious.

What.

What's one thing?

There's a lot, but it's actually later in life, funny enough.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

So I hate golf.

Pretty apparent, right?

Everybody that knows me, I golf frequently through work and stuff.

I hate the sport.

Yeah.

I see it as a waste of time.

Yeah.

I like being outside, but I don't like the aspect of golf.

But when I had left my dad's company and went to another company, I had come back home and we decided to golf.

And he was like, hey, you're probably gonna need to get pretty good at this sport, you know, if you're going to be doing this for business and all that other stuff.

And there was a chip shot that I went to hit completely.

Just did a terrible job.

And then he adjusted my technique, and he was like, you should try this thing.

And for some reason, that stood out as a bonding moment.

I even remembered the champagne supernova Oasis song in the background.

Yeah.

Because as soon as I hit it the right way, I hit it in the hole.

Yeah.

And so it was a cool experience.

We high fived afterwards, and I was like, I don't know if he knows this or even remembers it, but that was really special to me when that happened.

Yeah.

It was a cool bonding moment with my dad.

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah.

I really love that because that's just.

That's just your dad just putting in the work and being a dad, just being there.

And the.

The crazy part is just do the generational gap.

He probably didn't even think anything of it, you know?

Exactly.

It's just like, hey, my son made a great shot.

This is fantastic with my coaching, you know, it's awesome.

Yeah.

But for me, that really stood out.

Yeah.

It was a cool bonding moment.

That's cool, man.

Okay, how about this one?

I'm kind of gonna jump back and maybe ask the other question a little differently.

The perspective that you have now.

What is something that you, looking back, knowing what you know now, you.

You.

You wish that you had given your parents a little more grace in.

In the moment.

Yeah, for sure.

A couple things.

I didn't get this until I was a little bit older, but my mom was pretty stern growing up.

She ran the house.

Yeah.

She was not to be messed with, you know, And.

And she's kind of a bulldog, but she's the best, you know?

Yeah.

And as I got older.

I remember she gave.

She told me essentially a quote or she's told me this thing.

It says, hey, two things.

You don't have to always like me, but you always respect me.

Right?

And so that stood out.

But then the.

The bigger one was you can either be friends with your kids when they're young or when they're old.

And so what?

For her, what that meant, I think, is I'm going to do the hard things and have the hard conversations to build good kids, and then someday that will click for them and they will respect it even more.

And I've gotten to that point where I'm like, damn, she did a good job.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, man, that's powerful, dude.

Hey, if.

If you're.

If you're listening, you know, I'm just thinking that's some really good advice.

You can.

You can either be friends with your kids now or when they're adults.

Hey, if that.

If that resonated with you the way that it did with me, the biggest thing you can do to support the channel right now is just like, subscribe, whatever platform you're on, and more importantly, just share this with.

With others out there.

So just had to throw that in.

All right, so I do want to tell a funny story with my mom, though.

Please.

You love this.

Yeah.

I don't know if I've ever told you this.

All right, so when I was running track, I ran the 800 meter.

Have I told you this story?

Okay, so I was running the 800 meter, and we were going through all.

I mean, at running for school, you go to all these different track meets you run, you know, you compete against other people.

Again, I did sports for the social aspect of it, not because I was a good athlete or destined for greatness, like, because I clearly was not.

My dad benched me, you know, Like, I wasn't built for it, you know, and my mom took me to one of the track meets or I rode the bus there, whatever, but she was there, and I ran the 800 meter dash and I came in dead last.

How I always came in dead last.

Yeah.

And she.

From her side of the story, she says she walked up to me basically being like, oh, my God.

I'm expecting to be like, I'm so sorry, you know, like, you really gave it your all.

And I just looked at her and I said, I beat my best time.

Came in dead last, you know, but she says it's one of her favorite stories of me because it just showed.

I mean, that's how I've thought about almost everything.

Like, I'm competing with me.

Yeah.

And so.

But she was just expecting me to be like, I keep coming in last.

I'm so bad at this.

And I was like, heck, yeah, dude.

I just beat my best time, you know?

Pretty cool, right?

Yeah.

She's like, what?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is a very Thai thing to say.

She said she was caught off guard by it because she was expecting to be, like, the comforting mother.

And I was just like, did you see how good I just did?

She's like, you came in last.

Yeah.

I was like, but I beat my best time.

Right.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

What are you so upset about?

Yeah, I'm pretty proud.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, hey, I, you know, we.

We touched on it a little bit about the fatherhood thing.

But one thing I wanted to ask you was.

And I hope you're okay talking about this, but as you and.

And Bailey talk about having kids and things like that, I. I'm gonna ask you a couple questions.

You answer whatever you feel like is, you know, where.

Wherever Yalls conversation is right now.

But, you know, when people are.

There's a lot of.

When people are trying to decide to have kids, there's a lot.

You.

You hear a lot of language like, well, we're just waiting until he gets this big promotion, or, you know, we really want to have one of the cars paid off, because before the commitment.

And you hear a lot of people kind of anchoring that decision to being ready in some capacity.

It's very common.

Right.

And I'm just curious, you know, are you guys anchored in anything like that or, you know, just where are you guys at in conversation?

Not.

What are you waiting on?

You know, I don't know.

Just where you at?

Not even a little bit in terms of getting anchored down like that?

Yeah.

I mean, we're good, right?

We both.

Both do pretty well.

There's.

There's no type of financial anchor there at all.

The only anchor that we had at one point was wait a year, travel, do all of the things.

See all the things you'd like to do together.

And then.

But we've done that, right?

And so we're ready.

And so there's nothing that's.

We don't have any of those anchors.

And I. I don't know, man.

I feel like this is how I think about almost everything in life.

But there, you can cast the power to anything else you want in life.

Like, you don't.

If you don't actually want to work out or commit to working out.

You'll say the time schedule doesn't fit for me.

Right, right.

And we've walked through that model together.

Yeah.

I'm just not a big fan of doing that because ever since I heard the quote, power follows the blame finger.

Right.

I'm done doing it, you know, and so there's nothing that we're waiting on.

And it feels good to not have any of those anchors, frankly.

Everybody has a different scenario and all of that, but we don't have one.

Yeah.

I'll just share.

I haven't thought about this in a long time, but I can remember exactly what we were doing and where we were.

Whitney and I were driving to my grandparents lived in Shreveport and we were on our way to a family outing.

I think it was Thanksgiving.

And obviously it's just the two of us, by the way.

We got married when we were 20 years old.

We were married for five years before we had kids.

But I remember, and I don't know why, but on the way to Thanksgiving, family Thanksgiving in Shreveport at my grandparents house, we ended up having this conversation and it was kind of like, hey, I think we're ready to have kids.

Like, let's do it, you know, And I got to be honest with you, I don't really know that we put that much thought into it.

Just did.

It was just kind of like, yeah, sure, like we've been married five years and you know, by the way, I mean at the time both of us were like slightly above minimum wage jobs, you know, it wasn't like we had come into this windfall and everything was squared away.

That was not the case.

Sure.

But it was just kind of like, you know what, let's just do it.

Let's just figure it out.

But because of stories like that that I've heard often, I.

There is no anchor for us.

Right.

Because like plenty of people have had kids and worse off conditions, you know, quote unquote, and done a fantastic job.

Yeah.

And so I think a lot of it's just wherever you want to dedicate your attention to.

That's right.

And so I feel like this quote kind of ties in, but I don't know if we've talked about it, but you've already achieved things you said would make you happy, you know, and so if people are waiting for like this perfect time or whatever, you're going to get to that time and there's probably going to be another thing that you cast the power to and you're like, well, until this happens, or you just do it.

Yeah.

Because everybody I've talked to, especially younger dads, they're like, there is nothing that's going to prepare you perfectly, so just do it.

You're never going to be ready.

No, exactly.

Yeah.

And I.

The funny thing is, is on that ready piece, I can't speak fully for her in this.

We've had a lot of discussions about it.

We both think we're going to be great parents, you know, and so, like, we're looking forward to it.

And, yeah, there's going to be challenges and all of that, but I feel like that's kind of part of the game.

Yeah.

You know, like, we want to be able to solve those problems and have to solve those problems.

Yeah.

No, you mentioned something there, which I don't know, this might be.

This might rub some people the wrong way, but I didn't say it.

But we had a pediatrician after our first kid, and we both went to, like, the first checkup, and I remember he was a fantastic pediatrician, and he said, you know, we were asking a lot of questions, like, is she growing enough?

Is she making eye contact?

Like, is she.

I hate to say the word, but, like, is she normal?

Like, you know, where are we at here?

And I remember he just kind of took a deep breath, and this was not his first rodeo, but he just kind of took a deep breath and he just looked at us and he said, hey, you need to know that, statistically speaking, happily happy parents, happy smart parents, healthy parents, raise happy, healthy, intelligent children.

He's like, it's not more complicated than that.

Yeah.

By the numbers, you know.

Sure.

And he.

He was just like.

So, you know, you're.

You're probably about as intelligent as you're gonna get.

Yeah, you could probably be a little healthier, but you're happy.

And for the most part, you're gonna raise happy, healthy, intelligent children.

Yeah.

So quit worrying about it.

I feel like it's a really healthy reframe.

Yeah.

Right.

Just to put things into perspective of, like, okay, we can breathe.

Yeah, it's gonna be fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you know, the episode that just dropped last Sunday, you know, James said, you know, your kids live in the culture that you create.

And I think there's some of that as an element of this, too.

Right.

Because your whole world, the whole you.

You know, we talk a lot, like, at.

At our organization about culture, company culture, the culture of our teams, the culture of our people, and the unique thing about a home.

Man, this really stuck with me from James was James said, dude, your Kids live in the culture that you create.

And I was like, oh, crap, man, you're right.

Yeah, yeah.

So.

Let'S see.

All right.

Okay.

Let me get back on track here.

Got a couple more questions for you here.

Getting kind of close to the end, but I want to know.

I'm going to reframe a question that I intend to ask a lot of dads, which is, you know, normally I would ask them, hey, if you could go back to your, your, you know, your past self before you had kids and you could give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?

But for you, I want to ask, reflect on the future.

So think about future tie and from where you are today, you know, I don't know.

Pick, tell us what the time frame is.

5 years, 10 years, 20 years.

But what would you want to tell yourself from where you're sitting today?

What would you want to tell future tie?

Man, that's tough, that's deep.

Because it's easy to think backwards.

Right.

On the advice that you would give.

That's really hard.

Give me a second to think about it.

Go for it.

Yeah.

Because I feel like I would rather make.

I feel like I would rather make a statement, you know, I hope you turned out to be who I hoped you were going to be.

Something like that.

Right.

Or I hope you became the person that you were meant to become.

And so that means the father.

That means all of the things that go into it.

Right.

And I feel like it's kind of a shoddy answer here, but it's hard for me to think about what I would want to tell a 60 year old me.

Yeah.

Because I can't give.

I, you know, I can't look backwards.

Yeah.

Like, if I had to.

If you had to answer that, like, what advice would you give your 60 year old?

Here's what I was expecting you to say.

Yeah.

This is a very Thai answer.

Yeah, I was totally expecting you to say this.

I was gonna say, hey, Ty, what would you tell Future yourself?

Congratulations, sir, you're tied.

You've already won in life.

Yeah.

You've already done it.

You're there.

Yep.

You've arrived.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think there's the reason why I said that about the.

I hope you became who you were meant to become.

Because I think it's really easy to get off track and let things affect your circumstances.

Right.

Or circumstances affect how you decide to behave.

Yeah.

And so I just hope that through whatever turmoil is going to exist over the next 30 years for me.

Right.

When I'm 60.

I hope I maintain this.

Maintained the same expectations.

Yeah.

No, you.

You asked me, though, and I'll tell you, I hadn't actually considered this until you just said it, but I.

Here's something that really resonates with me, and I. I wouldn't probably be in this headspace if I haven't been talking to as many guys like this as I have.

If I could go 20 years and tell myself something, it would be, Remember that in the moment, you did the best you had with what you knew at the time.

And as you reflect back on your life, give yourself some grace.

Right.

And I.

Man, it's really.

It's really even hard to say that out loud.

In fact, I think this is a really good.

You, like, if you're listening to this, you should think about this question, because I'll tell you what that just did for me right now, because you know what I almost said?

What I almost said was, hey, you tried.

You did the best you could.

Yeah.

I didn't say that because am I doing the best I can?

Right.

And I.

So I think that's.

That's something that.

That maybe we should reflect on more, is if you could go into the future 20 years and tell yourself something, what would it be?

Right.

And if.

And if you couldn't.

If you couldn't tell yourself 20 years now, like, hey, man, you're giving it hell.

You're doing the best you can with what you got right now.

And I think.

I think that's true.

That's an okay.

Okay place to be.

But you should also reflect on where you are right now.

Yeah.

And say, am I though?

What am I working on?

And how do you know?

And how do you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The.

The tools piece of.

That is important because one of the best piece of advice I ever got was after talking to my friend.

Our friend Shay.

Right.

Yeah.

And.

And I was talking about.

I was basically trying to help somebody work through a situation.

And I was like, man, how do they not see this?

You know?

And I'd almost forgotten all the time that I had spent to learn some of those things that I was trying to advise them on.

And he just said, hey, buddy, he's doing the best with the tools that he has.

Yeah.

And I was like, dang.

Yeah.

You know, because it's hard to put that into perspective until you get into a scenario like that.

That's right.

Yeah.

Now, if I could look backwards 10 years and give myself some advice.

Oh, let's hear it.

Yep.

I would say her name is Bailey she goes to UT Austin.

Go down and find her.

Now.

Yeah.

You're gonna have a great time.

Absolutely.

Okay.

So I was really trying to think, how could I.

How could I close with a similar question I've been asking all the guys, like, how do you.

What.

What's one thing that you want your kids to understand about you when you're gone?

And that's a fair question for me to ask you, but I've got a different one for you here.

You answer either one or both.

But you're in a season of life right now that a lot of dads probably don't spend a lot of time reflecting on.

What's one thing that you want to continue to be intentional about until you have kids?

Yeah.

So go for it.

It's a good question.

So when I married into my wife's family, Right.

I basically had another set of a family down here because I'm initially from Illinois.

And there's a big thing that I picked up there, and it's when they have family get togethers, one of the things they'll do is they'll talk about money.

Right.

And so Granddaddy did pretty well.

And one of the things they'll do is they'll review how these things came about, the principles behind them.

And so I've just been on this train for the past five or so years about, you know, it's great to make money someday and pass that down to kids.

But the other piece of this is, what skill sets can you pass down throughout that?

Right?

Yeah.

Almost like cutting through the amount of time that it would take to get good at some of these things.

Because I think when you pass down some of those skill sets, whether it's navigating people or selling or doing whatever, Right?

Yeah.

Even stuff around the house, I think that tends to land harder than just passing money down.

And so in terms of consistency, I've just been on this grind of, like, how do I learn all of these skills of where I want to be someday with the intention of how do I document them and pass that down?

And so when I have a son or daughter that gets into a scenario, whether it's work wise, I'm able to work with them and say, let's take the training wheels off here for a second and let's talk about some of these things to really help them, and then hopefully they'll become better at it than I am someday.

But when I've been doing this and part of this, not all this is business, but a lot of it is people and navigating people and influence and all those things that really just makes life even better when you understand it is how do I get this in a way that I can then consolidate it down and teach these principles early to give them a better life?

Now they'll still have to earn it.

Right.

And have to do the things, but how do I take some of that wisdom.

Right.

And actually condense it down into a way that they would be able to grow from it?

And that's kind of the journey I've been on prior to us having kids, because I know that my time will be separated from that once we have kids.

Yeah.

And so it's almost some of those, like, generational learnings, like how do you set them up in the future so where they'd have to do it on their own, but you give them the tools, they put the work in.

Can I restate that?

And you tell me if I'm sure you close.

Yeah.

So it's almost.

It's almost like, yeah, generational wealth is great.

Passing down money is great.

But you're taking the approach of what can I learn and what can I test from a standpoint of what works for me and what doesn't work for me and how can I condense that down so that my children and hopefully my grandchildren.

That's right.

Can get at least get to that point sooner than I did?

That's right.

Right?

Yep.

Man, that's powerful, dude.

Yeah.

And again, I feel like it sounds all money and business related, but like, we both know Disc.

Right.

With communication patterns and styles and personalities.

But if I would have known disc when I was 15, I probably would have been a more proficient human at navigating people.

Right.

And giving them grace.

Right.

When you don't see eye to eye on things.

Yeah.

And so it's even stuff like that.

They'll just make everything about their life better if they learn it.

How do I be able to document that and then train it someday and work it into conversations?

And that's part of the.

Man, that's really one of the things I look forward to with fatherhood.

And I know it's going to be significantly more than that, but my dad did a lot of that for me and I hope to do the same thing.

Dude.

I'm just sitting here feeling super convicted in this moment.

This has happened a lot.

But I spend a lot of time thinking about the financial reward that I'm working towards.

You know, I would love to be able to generate generational wealth for my kids.

And that's really all for them when I'm gone.

And I think I'm probably missing the mark a little bit from the standpoint of a huge contribution that I will make to their life.

Is exactly what you just described.

Yep.

What did I learn?

What did I have to learn the hard way?

And how can I help my.

How can I help teach my kids those lessons so that they don't have to learn the hard way now they may still choose to learn the hard way.

Sure.

Wow, dude.

I'll give you a great example though.

And this is.

This might seem small, but it resonated me when it happened at.

We were out at a ranch a few weeks ago.

It was pretty late in the evening and I ended up getting a side by side stuck.

And so I haven't been a shop hand.

I haven't been on a forklift in a long time, you know, haven't taken forks off, haven't been around.

I've been around equipment, but not.

Not in that capacity.

Yeah.

And so I got the side by side stuck.

There was four of us in it, and we did everything we could to get it out.

And by the time I looked down at the tires, we're about 14 inches into the mud.

We found the only dry spot in central Texas.

Yeah, we're.

We're in it, you know.

And so we went and got the tractor.

One of the cousins did, and when they brought the tractor out, it wouldn't start.

So I got out of the ranger and I'm like, what's going on here?

You know?

And they're like, the tractor won't start.

But they went and got the tractor in the chains.

And I like got up there and I was like, okay, well, a lot of.

A lot of machines, if you don't have the parking brake on or you don't have something done, it won't start, Right.

And so I'm like checking the parking brake.

I'm plugging in the seat belt to make sure it won't start.

So I'm like, man, did it have any issues running here?

No.

Did it have any issues starting?

No, it did not.

So I'm like, we're doing something wrong, clearly, with this machine, you know?

And I've never ran a.

A farm tractor, right.

I grew up around equipment, but nothing like that.

And so I was like, how does this thing go forward in reverse?

You know?

And they're like, there's just one pedal.

You press down forward, it goes forward, you press down backwards, it goes reverse.

And so I look down at that pedal and the chains are slightly under that pedal.

Yeah.

Just basically putting.

Getting the pumps involved and putting a little bit of pressure right on the acceleration.

So I pulled the chains out and it started.

I'm like, this is fantastic.

But then we had to take the rake off on the back.

Couldn't figure that out.

But then I saw there were forks on the front, and I was like, great.

I'm, like, commanding.

Like, go down tilt, you know?

And so I took the forks off because it was stuff that I did that my dad taught me when I was.

Right.

In high school, essentially.

Yeah.

Right.

And so then it was like we went to put the forks back on.

One of the cousins is standing in between the forks, and I just knew, don't stand in between the forks when we're going to do this because it could be dangerous.

And there was just a bunch of these.

Whether it was setting the chains.

Yeah.

All of this stuff that my dad had me learn when I was, like, 14 that I haven't had to use in 10 years.

Right.

But now I did.

Yeah.

And it just clicked into autopilot.

Yeah.

And so whether it's money or not, it's things like that that I'm like, that's how you build a proficient human.

Yeah.

Is you teach them those things.

Yeah.

Cool.

You know, that just kind of makes me really curious.

I'm going to give a little shameless plug here.

If you're listening to this and you're on YouTube, drop.

Drop a comment down below.

Like, what is some really random skill set that you learned in childhood that you've had to pull out of your pocket later in life?

Because I bet there's some wild ones out there.

That's exactly what it was.

If you would have asked me, if I know if I knew how to do those things, I would think I'd be like, yeah.

But then when I had to do it, I just did it.

Yeah.

Because my dad showed me how to do it, and I did it thousands of times when I was younger and I was, you know, working in the shop.

Yeah.

And that's just one thing.

But I feel like I reflect on those as I grow up.

And, you know, we're going to have kids and all of that.

There's just a lot of things that I reflect on.

I'm like, I learned this in childhood because my parents taught me how to do it.

Yeah.

And so that's probably why I've been so fascinated with, like, well, what are the things that I'm going to prioritize to be able to teach my kids someday.

Yeah.

All right, man.

So the cool part about you and your phase of life is we're going to be doing this for a while, and I think in a year or two, we're going to be sitting down, having a conversation about, hey, buddy, how you holding up?

I'm going to have no hair.

No.

Zero hair.

So, Ty, I'm.

I'm sure we'll have you back, and you'll probably be in rough shape maybe, who knows?

You.

Maybe you'll be optimized, and I'll probably.

Be in great shape because I'll be spending the night down here.

And so I'll have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I appreciate.

Number one, I appreciate your friendship so much, and I really appreciate that you took time to come.

He.

Ty lives four hours away.

Time.

Made time in his schedule to stop and do this with me, and I really appreciate that.

Look forward to having you back in the future.

So, just to sign off, this is to dad from dad podcast, where we reflect on what went well, what didn't, and what you would do different if you could go back or into the future and tell yourself.

And we'll see you guys on the next episode.

Thanks for being here, Tyler.

Happy to.

Thanks for having me.

See you, man.