Expectations.

They're funny things.

We carry them quietly.

We build our lives around them.

And when reality does not match the picture we had in our

head, the disappointment can be deeper than we'll ever admit.

Today.

I wanna talk about expectations.

The ones that life handed me, the ones I put on myself.

The ones I place on my clients, mainly by accident, and most importantly,

how to reshape expectations so they lift you up rather than crush you.

Expectations sit underneath so many decisions, frustrations and moments

of self-doubt in business and in life.

The expectations, you start with the expectation life rearranges

for you, the ones you clinging to without even realizing the ones you

need to soften so you can breathe.

Again, this episode is personal.

and my hope is by the end of it, you'll be able to hold your expectations with a

bit more KINDNESS and a bit more CLARITY

when I was young, I had a very clear picture of how life would go.

I thought I would be married by 18.

That did not happen.

I wanted to wear a pink meringue dress.

Also did not happen.

I thought I would have babies Early did not happen.

Life had completely different plans for me.

I married a wonderful man who already had children, so I became

a bonus mom first, which was one of the greatest joys of my life.

Then later, after miscarriages and heartbreak and long stretches

of disappointment, we had Evie.

She was very hard to conceive, and I carried a lot of grief about not

being able to give her a sibling.

At 37, I was told I was heading into perimenopause.

That revelation came at the same time that I had miscarried for the third time.

Again, not part of the plan, but here's what time gives you it gives you a bit

of perspective, a bit of healing, and the ability, which I do not take for granted,

to sit beside other women who are walking through the same heartache and truly

understand what they're going through.

This is the gift I could not see back then from clients to friends, to colleagues.

Wow, a lot of this stuff is not talked about, which is why

I wanna talk about it today.

Expectations do not stop with life.

I carry them into business as well.

I expect myself to perform.

I expect myself to lead well.

I expect myself to create impact.

I expect myself to show up for my community even when life is full

and when things don't go the way I had pictured, it can hit hard

You will have heard the episode about the thriving and launch the 12 week

runway, should I say, the 12 week runaway low, the work heavy workload,

the emotional season I was in, and the disappointment when the numbers didn't

quite match the expectation I had already placed on myself and from the outside.

The launch was a huge success.

Inside my expectations made it feel like it fell a bit short.

And that's the danger of expectations.

Sometimes they can make a win, feel like a loss.

Then there's these expectations that we hold for the people that we serve.

I mentor once told me, Emma, you should never work harder than your clients.

And I remember sitting with that for months because I care deeply.

I see what is possible for women long before they can see for themselves.

I want them to succeed.

I want them to rise, but I can't carry their business for them

. Oh, how I wish I could.

But I can't, when a client does not do the work, I feel disappointed.

I feel that disappointment rise in my gut, not because I'm annoyed at

them, but because I can see their potential so clearly, and I hate

to say it, but my mentor was right.

There is this boundary between supporting and then overworking

between coaching and carrying.

And I walk that line a little bit more gently.

Now, one of my clients recently launched a new program.

She had a beautiful group offer already tons of experience, and she was ready

to leverage it into a membership.

When we mapped out her strategy, I asked her to map her expectations too.

Not just the numbers, but how she thought success would feel, and we created three

guiding markers for her baseline, what was good, the baseline that validated

her idea and showed her that it had legs.

That was good.

What was better?

The result that showed the momentum.

And what was best?

What was the dream outcome that stretched her?

Now, let me say good, better, best, all.

Awesome anyway, and I sit with this quandary all the time about

if we keep our expectations low, we can't get disappointed.

If we keep our expectations high, then maybe we'll get disappointed.

But also, if we don't stretch ourselves, what's the point or the things?

And this one simple tool, good, better, best, gave her emotional room to breathe.

She was able to celebrate progress without making the outcome mean

something about her worth or her ability.

You see, expectations can be like anchors.

They can be like pressure cookers.

I feel like good, better, best takes the pressure outta the process.

I know some people, maybe it's you, maybe you sitting there going, oh, this is me.

Are afraid to set any expectations.

' cause this the way they're not disappointed.

But here's the thing, if you don't set any expectations, you

don't grow, you don't stretch.

You're much less likely to achieve all the things that you can achieve

in this big, bold one life we've got.

take a minute.

Start small.

Just pick one, one expectation that you can craft for yourself.

Here's what's taken me quite some time to learn.

Slow learner.

Sometimes life will rewrite your expectations.

Business will challenge them.

Clients will test them, and you'll surprise yourself when you rise above

ones you thought would break you.

expectations are not the enemy.

But they do need to be examined, sometimes softened, sometimes rewritten,

and sometimes replaced altogether.

When we do that, we create space for clarity and confidence.

Again, I wanna give you some tools that you can use today.

Grab a piece of paper and a cup of tea.

We love this, right?

I want you to name the expectation.

What is the expectation that you've got?

Say it out loud, write it down.

Most disappointment comes from unnamed expectations, so you

get it out on a piece of paper.

Then ask yourself, where did this come from?

Is it mine or is it inherited?

Is it from family?

Is it from culture?

Is it social norms?

Is it past versions of yourself?

All the things I want you to.

Do a fit check to see if it fits in the season that you're in.

got an expectation.

Does it fit with where you are right now, energetically, your

health, your responsibilities, your reality, and your capacity right now?

And then I want you to redefine it using the good, better, best framework.

Create some breathing space.

Let success be scalable.

Then I want you to see if you can match your actions to your expectations.

So if you expect something big, your effort has to reflect that I expected

something big in thriving women, and I left nothing on the table.

Alignment matters more than intensity,

and then you might need to adjust your expectations as you evolve.

You are not who you are five years ago, I want you then to

do an expectation check in.

Try saying that five times really fast.

Expectation.

Check in.

Expectation, check in.

Yeah, right, right.

Before making any big decisions.

So ask yourself a couple of questions.

What am I expecting from myself?

What am I expecting from others?

And what outcome would still feel like progress because that keeps you grounded.

I know sometimes expectations can hurt, but they can also guide us when

we hold them with a sense of kindness.

Your life may not be the way you pictured your business may not

unfold the way you mapped it.

Your clients may not always meet the standard that you hoped for,

but expectations can be reshaped.

It's like butter.

They can be softened.

They can be updated, or they can be completely rewritten.

You are allowed to grow beyond the expectations you once had for yourself.

You're allowed to create new ones that match the woman you are today.

If this episode has touched something in you and you know your expectations

are either weighing you down or keeping you stuck, we would love to help.

We can work together one-on-one.

We can look at your season, we can look at your capacity.

We can look at your goals.

We can reshape those expectations and make sure that they lift

you rather than drag you.

And we build a business that fits in real life, the life that you are living

now, not a life that you once imagined, or the one that you're still holding

onto until next time, be so gentle with the expectations that you carry.

And remember, extraordinary things can still unfold even when the path looks.

Nothing like what you once expected.