1 00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:04,110 Gift is unwrapped episode 34. 2 00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:09,800 It is the number one most powerful influencing tip that anyone 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,850 can ever do. 4 00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:12,710 This is John Lee, 5 00:00:12,710 --> 00:00:14,870 Dumas of entrepreneur on fire, 6 00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:17,420 and you're listening to the gift of biz unwrapped. 7 00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:22,100 And now it's time to light it up. 8 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:23,630 Welcome to gift biz, 9 00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:27,620 unwrapped your source for industry specific insights and advice to develop 10 00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:28,730 and grow your business. 11 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:30,560 And now here's your host, 12 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:36,740 Sue Monheit Hi there and welcome to the gift biz unwrapped 13 00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:37,430 podcast. Yes, 14 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:40,530 whether you own a brick and mortar shop sell online or 15 00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:41,810 are just getting started, 16 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,560 you'll discover new insight to gain traction and to grow your 17 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,040 business. And today I am thrilled to have joining us. 18 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,070 Jason, Troy of be extraordinary. 19 00:00:52,670 --> 00:00:57,020 Jason is a top business and executive coach sales trainer and 20 00:00:57,020 --> 00:01:00,890 speaker at the heart of his strategy is the understanding that 21 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:03,740 people and their relationships are your true, 22 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,120 wow. Everything we accomplish in life is with or through other 23 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,610 people. He works with experts, 24 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,780 entrepreneurs, and executives to help them get known and stand out. 25 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,870 And he does this by building key skill sets, 26 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:22,610 creating their brand platform and purpose and improving their business results, 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,320 his best selling book, 28 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:25,370 social wealth, 29 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:29,690 the how to guide on building personal and professional relationships has 30 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,640 sold more than 30,000 31 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,750 copies and has been number one in four business and self-help 32 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,610 categories. Wow. 33 00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,050 That is pretty impressive. 34 00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:40,610 Jason, welcome to the show. 35 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:43,640 Well, thanks for having me on the show and talk to 36 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,600 your fantastic tribe. 37 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,600 Is there anything You'd like to add to the intro before 38 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,410 we get started? 39 00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:49,820 You know, 40 00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:51,740 that's summed it up really quite well. 41 00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:52,550 All right. 42 00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:54,200 Then we'll just going to jump into the content. 43 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,510 Cause I know there's a lot of great things to share. 44 00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:58,220 As our listeners know, 45 00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:00,890 we like to align the conversation around the life of a 46 00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:02,210 motivational candle. 47 00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:05,480 The light shines on you while you share your stories and 48 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,420 experiences. So are you ready to light it up? 49 00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:10,490 I am ready to light it up. 50 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,680 Okay. So guess what, 51 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,540 Jason, you are on your way. 52 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:17,870 You're going to be a speaker at a networking event, 53 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,580 and you told everybody to bring some type of a candle 54 00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:25,250 and a quote that resonates for them. 55 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,160 And you likewise being the speaker are also going to be 56 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,020 coming in with your own candle. 57 00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:33,350 What color candle are you bringing to this networking event? 58 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:37,520 I am bringing red and why red? 59 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,590 I like it's fire fiery, 60 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:43,760 it's energetic and it's just lighting up the room. 61 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,460 And that's what each person should do is to go into 62 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:48,920 their strengths and light it up around them. 63 00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:51,320 That's a great Precursor for what we'll talk about. 64 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,050 And what is the motivational quote on that? 65 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:54,740 Red candle? 66 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:59,710 Vulnerability Is the birthplace of connection and the path to of 67 00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:02,020 worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, 68 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:06,040 the sharing is probably not constructive and that's by Renee brown. 69 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,090 I love her. 70 00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:10,020 So That speaks to authenticity of who you really are. 71 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:11,670 Right? And I think end of the day, 72 00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:14,700 vulnerability is the Lincoln to being courageous in your life. 73 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,240 And when you don't actually lead with vulnerability in your life, 74 00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:22,290 you live a very small life because when you start actually 75 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,390 leading with vulnerability, 76 00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:28,260 also with authenticity was speaking your truth and then generous within 77 00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,650 boundaries, the world lights up around you because then you make 78 00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:33,060 it safe for other people to do it. 79 00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:36,660 And then you start creating magic and all of your relationships 80 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:40,170 from the moment that you start them all the way through. 81 00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:42,570 And most people just don't do that, 82 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,910 right? Because I have clients right now that I know that 83 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,740 I know a lot more than their spouses do, 84 00:03:47,070 --> 00:03:49,050 which to me and these are people who've been married 15, 85 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:49,740 20 years. 86 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:52,230 So in many ways that's a little scary, 87 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,810 but also goes the fact that if you're not leading with 88 00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:57,240 that, you're not necessarily opening people up. 89 00:03:57,750 --> 00:04:00,240 I think that's really true because if you think of a 90 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,050 networking event, 91 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:02,010 I'll stick with that. 92 00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:03,750 Since that's been the initial theme here. 93 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:06,480 And so many people are just very rigid or what do 94 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:06,720 you do? 95 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:06,900 You know, 96 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,250 all the common questions, 97 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,470 right? And yeah, 98 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,010 boring ones. 99 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:14,730 And your point is starting to talk a little bit more 100 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:15,510 in depth, 101 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,670 maybe not totally at a networking event, 102 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:18,930 but a little bit something different, 103 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,330 something a little more personal than just the obvious, 104 00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:23,730 basic surface level conversations. 105 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,590 I ask people all the time. 106 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,700 What is your passion? 107 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,680 So what are you passionate about in your life? 108 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,060 What projects are you working on? 109 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:33,360 You're passionate about because you need to get an emotional connection 110 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,880 with people because emotions are why we do everything. 111 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:39,000 People talk about logic and being a logical thinker. 112 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:40,380 They're completely ill, 113 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,110 logical when they're actually having a conversation. 114 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:45,600 They're putting stuff together because end of the day, 115 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,140 we're making up stories about everything and we operate on very 116 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:49,830 little facts. 117 00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:52,620 And I give an example was that if you're in a 118 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,080 business meeting and there's a leader, 119 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,050 ask a question and you give an answer and there's someone 120 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,560 from across the table that looks at you rolls their eyes. 121 00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:04,710 You look back at them and think they must not like 122 00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:08,490 me, or like what I'm saying or something's wrong with me 123 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:09,630 and how they view me. 124 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,700 And the reality is, 125 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:11,160 is all, 126 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:11,850 you know, 127 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,820 is that that person looked at you and rolled their eyes. 128 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,470 You have no idea what's going on, 129 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,700 but we make up the information in between all that from 130 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:21,810 the start of our thoughts, 131 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:22,680 to the end of it, 132 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:27,480 with stories because our brain gives us dopamine releases coming up 133 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,230 with quick answers. 134 00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:29,160 And that's why we do it, 135 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,980 but it's not really the reality and the facts. 136 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:35,730 So all emotions and cognition and behavior are in the back 137 00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,020 seat when we're driving the car. 138 00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:37,590 Right? Right. 139 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,210 But, so what you're really saying here too, 140 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:44,640 though, is verbal and physical motions will help you create a 141 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,490 story that could be right on or it could way off. 142 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,820 Exactly. And the easy thing too is if you're in a 143 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:54,000 challenging situation with someone and you don't really know what's going 144 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,080 on, I say, 145 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:55,260 you know, 146 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:58,640 the story I'm making up is that you don't like this 147 00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:00,140 or whatever it might be. 148 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,020 And that allows someone else to feel safe, 149 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,580 to actually give me a response, 150 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:07,040 especially in an area where there could be some conflict, 151 00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:10,400 he is find out what they're passionate about because most people 152 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,500 are not necessarily passionate about their job, 153 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:13,790 but there are other things. 154 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,560 And then you can ask them, 155 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:15,950 you know, 156 00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,840 what challenges are you having around that? 157 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,100 And then from there, 158 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,160 you now can start helping someone and helping them with the 159 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,730 thing that they're most emotionally charged with and connected with. 160 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,130 And I've asked thousands of people, 161 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:29,270 what are you passionate about? 162 00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:30,920 And I have also asked the question, 163 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,290 when's the last time someone's asked you that, 164 00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:37,330 and most people's answer are never Then gives you the attention 165 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:37,960 right away. 166 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:38,470 You know, 167 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:40,540 you sort of stand out because of what you've said. 168 00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:42,880 So you're meeting someone for the first time. 169 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:46,810 And a lot of people that's uncomfortable for them sharing something, 170 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,670 especially with a complete stranger. 171 00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:52,750 What are some other ways to pull out and get to 172 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,360 that point versus the superficial conversation. 173 00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:57,010 I love to go with them. 174 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:57,850 What are you passionate about? 175 00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,680 What do you love to do? 176 00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:00,670 I ask people like, 177 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,990 what's your dream vacation? 178 00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:02,220 I mean, 179 00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:07,570 asking them questions about passions or things of escape are way 180 00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,730 better questions to ask someone initially, 181 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,760 because they're not the common trend that people have because the 182 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,090 problem is you go to a networking or any sort of 183 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:18,730 conference, or I don't care where you meet someone. 184 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:21,220 People are asked common questions, 185 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:21,940 where are you from? 186 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:22,690 What do you do? 187 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,170 They tune you out because they've had borne in conversations so 188 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:27,280 many times in the past, 189 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,560 and those conversations have led to nothing. 190 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,080 Then you get people who are thinking about, 191 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,490 well, what do I do for the day? 192 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,590 What I have to make for dinner were tripped. 193 00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,150 When I want to take all these things, 194 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,380 when they're actually in the conversation. 195 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,780 So they're not present and they're just checked out. 196 00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:42,970 And so you've got to get them present and you have 197 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:45,430 to ask them questions where they actually haven't been asked them 198 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:50,020 before. So it forces them to focus without having to try 199 00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:53,860 to continually ask boring questions and going on and on and 200 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:56,710 shooting them like a machine gun at them and getting answers 201 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,590 out and then trying to find some common ground on those 202 00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:02,260 answers, because it's also harder to find common ground or where 203 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,340 are you from on from? 204 00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:03,970 You know, 205 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:04,930 I'm from Chicago. 206 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,650 What's great. 207 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,150 But if you're from New York, 208 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,800 how to find common ground, 209 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,270 it's not easy. 210 00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:12,340 And you look like you're really trying as well. 211 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,440 It looks like a forced fit because they need to say, 212 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:14,930 oh yes, 213 00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:18,520 my, my grandmother grew up there and that might be nice, 214 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,450 but it's a forced fit. 215 00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,000 And people know you're just trying to fish to find common 216 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:25,570 ground. I find that asking those types of more personal or 217 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,610 questions that are getting to an emotion, 218 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,680 people will share right away, 219 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,680 or do you have to share something more personal on your 220 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,640 end first? 221 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,900 Well, I think part of it is your non-verbal communication. 222 00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:40,840 So when you are in a place where you've done your 223 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,400 inner work on yourself, 224 00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:45,460 you then show up and people just feel more comfortable around 225 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:47,560 you because you just put them at ease because of where 226 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,250 you're at. 227 00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:52,330 But I also think it's always helpful to share with something 228 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:55,740 or you have a client who's in Italy and he's from 229 00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:56,910 New Zealand. 230 00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:59,160 And I told him when he goes out to talk to 231 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,650 people about wine and joke about us, 232 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,840 jeez, let's get a glass of New Zealand, 233 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,880 white wine because it's better than any Italian one. 234 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,840 And they'll make joke about it. 235 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:06,990 And they say, 236 00:09:06,990 --> 00:09:09,300 yes, my family is from New Zealand and I grew up 237 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:12,750 there. And that's a great way to lead with talking about 238 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:13,830 where he's from. 239 00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:16,260 And also just sharing something about who he is as a 240 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,140 person in a way that's sort of funny and also is 241 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,460 a little disarming. 242 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,010 And it's just starting in that place where you're just opening 243 00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:25,890 up. So if you can start with that and share with 244 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:26,880 people in a conversation, 245 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,220 little things about you that are small, 246 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:32,580 then they'll feel comfortable to start sharing as well. 247 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:33,650 Got it. 248 00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:37,370 So we've kind of jumped right into the topic here and 249 00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:41,030 possibly to summarize or to put some bullet points behind all 250 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,470 of this for our listeners. 251 00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:45,410 What would you say if you're going to narrow this into 252 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:48,440 three key ways that are the best things to do, 253 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:49,580 to be able to stand out, 254 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,600 get known and create intrigue with the person that you're talking 255 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,100 to, what would they be? 256 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,360 Just three bullets. 257 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:57,560 I would say one, 258 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,610 you have to build rapport. 259 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,290 And two ways of building rapport are asking the right questions. 260 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:03,890 And one is, 261 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,240 what are you passionate about? 262 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,230 And what are your challenges? 263 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,470 And the second way to build rapport is really through your 264 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:12,050 body language and how you interact with someone. 265 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:15,740 And you can do things such as NLP and mirroring and 266 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,370 other things, 267 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,460 which also can help bring you in more rapport with people 268 00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:20,480 and pacing lead. 269 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,180 As far as you're telling your conversation with someone else and 270 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,170 matching what they're doing, 271 00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:26,120 what is NLP neural, 272 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,590 linguistic processing. 273 00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:31,160 So it's a way for you to get in connection with 274 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:36,020 someone else through nonverbal communication like you were talking about. 275 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:40,280 Yeah. So mirroring someone else and matching their tone of voice. 276 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,300 Also using language that they're using as well. 277 00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:46,610 And so those things can really be helpful. 278 00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:49,340 Now, if you don't ask the right questions, 279 00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:52,790 doing the body language and NLP, 280 00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:54,620 isn't near as helpful. 281 00:10:54,890 --> 00:10:57,920 And I tell people not to really necessarily focus on that, 282 00:10:58,060 --> 00:11:01,100 if you can do and learn and start putting, 283 00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:03,500 use a couple things here and there, 284 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,000 it definitely is helpful, 285 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:07,910 but you've got to ask the right questions because otherwise you're 286 00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:08,990 not getting information. 287 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,410 It's So interesting that people will start doing the same thing. 288 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,540 I have a couple of friends who speak really, 289 00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,980 really, really loud. 290 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,740 And I've started just when I respond to them, 291 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,860 I respond in a really softer voice instead of trying to 292 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:23,300 match them and get higher. 293 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,430 And they don't even know it, 294 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,570 but their voice goes down. 295 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,290 It's crazy. 296 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:28,580 It's crazy how this works. 297 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,080 Well, if you mirror people, 298 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,060 they will start actually following what you're doing. 299 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:32,870 And it's pretty funny. 300 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,050 Then I tell people to drive. 301 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:34,600 I mean, 302 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:37,340 and you can see how well you are in sync with 303 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:38,090 another individual, 304 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:38,550 because if, 305 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,580 if that doesn't work at all, 306 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,410 typically it says you're not on the same page, 307 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,150 even if you think you are Interesting. 308 00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,830 Okay. So number one was build rapport. 309 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,860 Two is you have to build ability with someone that has 310 00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:49,700 to like you. 311 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,060 And I think that the easiest way to do that is 312 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:53,680 be present. 313 00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:55,660 It sounds so simple, 314 00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,810 but most of the time when people are in a conversation 315 00:11:58,810 --> 00:11:59,440 with someone else, 316 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,430 they're looking around, 317 00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:02,830 they're thinking about what they have to do later in the 318 00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:05,500 day. They're thinking about what they're going to have for dinner. 319 00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:07,030 They're thinking about 5,000 320 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,470 things, and they're not actually present Thinking about where the, 321 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,020 what they're going to say next versus listening to what you're 322 00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,160 saying. Exactly. 323 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,400 And so the challenge there is just be in the moment 324 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,580 because whatever you're thinking about saying I'm planning and doing is 325 00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:23,550 being present because 90% of communication is non-verbal. 326 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:27,240 So people can tell when you're not focused and when you're 327 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:27,840 not present. 328 00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,630 And that immediately says to them, 329 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:31,620 you don't care. 330 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:34,410 And then they check out a lot of it's an unconscious 331 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,480 process. So they may have been aware of it. 332 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,210 They just know that they don't really enjoy the conversation that 333 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:39,810 they're having, 334 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,450 or that they'd rather have another one-on-one with someone else. 335 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:43,860 And so that part of it doesn't work. 336 00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:44,070 I say, 337 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,450 being an active listener, 338 00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:48,510 as well as part of likeability and the easiest way about 339 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:52,590 being an active listener is to repeat back some information that 340 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:53,910 that person has said to you. 341 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,630 And then also try to connect it with some common ground 342 00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,250 that you're having in a conversation, 343 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:01,500 because that's an easy way at that point, 344 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,860 because someone then feels like you walk down their path, 345 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,670 you get it. 346 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,680 There also is empathy given, 347 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:08,460 which is extreme. 348 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,700 One of the extremely strong emotions that you can give someone 349 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,110 else is to be empathetic. 350 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,270 And most people just don't try doing that. 351 00:13:15,330 --> 00:13:17,430 And that really goes a long way. 352 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:18,990 This Is a really good point, 353 00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:21,060 Jason, cause I think a lot of people go to networking 354 00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:24,480 events. They're putting in their time and passing out business cards 355 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,850 and feeling that just by being there, 356 00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:29,760 doing their little 22nd spiel, 357 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,970 they've put in what they needed to do for that networking 358 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:36,420 event. And given the majority of people go into it that 359 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:39,690 way for someone to go in based on what you're talking 360 00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,760 about, really being present, 361 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,590 listening, repeating, 362 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:47,460 and really getting to know somebody on a deeper level makes 363 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,090 way better use of your time and more productive and probably 364 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:54,840 better connections leading into the future Way better connections. 365 00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:56,610 And you can do it really quickly too, 366 00:13:56,730 --> 00:14:00,690 because also what'll happen is if you start asking people the 367 00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:04,470 questions we talked about and also just doing things to build 368 00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:05,280 more likeability, 369 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,950 you're going to stand out because everyone else is doing the 370 00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,240 opposite of what you're doing. 371 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,210 That's one of the easiest things to do is often doing 372 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:15,600 less is a lot more because people sit in their head, 373 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,900 they think about all the people they've met that night and 374 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,390 it doesn't matter. 375 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:18,720 Maybe it's, 376 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,420 you're going to a charity event or a nonprofit event like 377 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:24,600 at a museum or opera or someone else. 378 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,930 And you really will think in your head, 379 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:31,260 all the people that you met and the person that's going 380 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,460 to stand out as the person, 381 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:34,950 who's going to be doing things differently than everyone else. 382 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,260 And so staying in your comfort zone, 383 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,650 make sure that you don't stand out and that it's going 384 00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:43,860 to be a lot more challenging to build intrigue for someone 385 00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,060 to want to follow up with you. 386 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,320 And you've got to build intrigue. 387 00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:46,980 Someone's got to say, 388 00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,630 wow, that person is awesome. 389 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,760 I want to spend more time with them or they seem 390 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,340 really or connected, 391 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:54,680 or something's got to go in their head for you to 392 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:55,400 stand out. 393 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,960 So you've got to do something different. 394 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,390 And if you just ask them the same boring questions everyone 395 00:14:59,390 --> 00:14:59,990 else does, 396 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:04,070 you're just hoping it's something you're saying in that conversation is 397 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,800 going to help you stand out rather than having a pattern 398 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:09,710 where you're automatically in a standout just by showing up. 399 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:10,690 Right? I mean, 400 00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:14,770 it definitely takes more energy to work the networking event in 401 00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:15,460 that way, 402 00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:16,540 but you're already there. 403 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,070 You're already putting in the time. 404 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,750 So you might as well get the most out of it. 405 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:20,650 You possibly can. 406 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:21,760 After a while, 407 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,840 if you do this all the time, 408 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:23,500 it's a bit UIL. 409 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,940 So then it's no effort at all. 410 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,200 It's part of who you are, 411 00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:28,180 right. But anything you're going to change, 412 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,220 you're going to have to Institute new habits in your life 413 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,440 and it's going to take you to be intentional and purposeful 414 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,180 on them and it takes a lot more work, 415 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,580 but then you get to a point where it takes a 416 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,040 lot less work and you're making all this magic. 417 00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:42,040 Exactly. And that's what you're there for in the first place. 418 00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:42,790 You know? 419 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,310 And just one more point as we're talking about networking events, 420 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,510 because I think it fits in well, 421 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,600 here is it's not the number of contact, 422 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,390 new contacts that you make coming out of a networking event. 423 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:55,810 It's the number of really serious relationships you form. 424 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,020 You know, 425 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:58,750 not that you're going to get into half hour conversations with 426 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,930 everybody, but it's way better to walk out with two or 427 00:16:01,930 --> 00:16:06,040 three really solid potential contacts and relationships where you want to 428 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,850 extend the conversation later than walking out with 50 business cards. 429 00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:12,220 Yeah. It's not a business card collection. 430 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:12,430 I mean, 431 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,130 I think there's ways to operate where you can get both 432 00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:18,400 a lot of people in quality you want to get in 433 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,060 there and sort of building a good connection with someone within 434 00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,850 five minutes or you're creating enough injury that they want to 435 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,790 follow up with you and then just exchange contact information and 436 00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:28,270 move on. 437 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,910 Because the event itself is a gold mine for you to 438 00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:32,860 mine. So you want to get in there and meet as 439 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:36,010 many people as you can create entry and then set up 440 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,220 follow-up meetings with them or do something like set up a 441 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,920 dinner or a brunch and invite these people and get them 442 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,040 all together because then you are the connector from everyone. 443 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,180 And that works really well too. 444 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,500 I've done that plenty of times. 445 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,670 And it's fantastic. 446 00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:53,500 Cause part of this is you really don't know the people 447 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,920 that you want to spend time with more either personally or 448 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,420 professionally right away. 449 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:01,600 So my point is why go in to find all that 450 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,220 out, do it more safer environment. 451 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,620 So I tend to invite people out to group things because 452 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:08,230 then I can get to know people slowly and figure out 453 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:09,910 if they're the right fit in my life, 454 00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:10,840 wherever that might be. 455 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,690 And also then I'm bringing other people together. 456 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,690 So I am the hub and everyone around me is a 457 00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:19,810 spoke and that's extremely powerful place to be. 458 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,070 If you're that hub, 459 00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:24,010 it shows everyone that you're very confident, 460 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,300 secure in who you are. 461 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:26,770 You're also generous. 462 00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:29,950 You lead with giving and that makes you in a really 463 00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,890 special place and you even need to be that person. 464 00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:36,610 That's just the perception and the by-product of getting people together. 465 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,440 Because if you ask people, 466 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,090 they might say to you, 467 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:40,330 you know, 468 00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:42,670 I only want a couple of close people in my life, 469 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,280 or I don't need that many really close business colleagues, 470 00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,270 but everyone, 471 00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,020 when you ask them, 472 00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,520 do you want to meet a new person? 473 00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:51,300 They all say I've yet to find a person that says 474 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,590 they don't want to meet someone new. 475 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:55,260 So there's always an opportunity. 476 00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:57,930 And if you're the person that can bring new people into 477 00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:59,070 other people's lives, 478 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:03,480 it's an extremely powerful place to be a Malcolm Gladwell wrote 479 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,820 about this in his famous book called the tipping point. 480 00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:06,690 It's a connector, 481 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,030 right? And if you knew you can be a connector, 482 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:12,030 it's the highest value you can give to someone else and 483 00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:12,750 no money, 484 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,210 no opportunity is going to Trump. 485 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,050 That it just, 486 00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:18,780 it that's how valuable it is for people. 487 00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:22,200 And there are people out there making seven figure more businesses 488 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,470 and all they do is connect people Really good. 489 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:24,980 All right. 490 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:28,730 So we're on these three ways to stand out and we've 491 00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:29,990 talked about building rapport. 492 00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,550 We've talked about likeability. 493 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:32,510 What's the third one. 494 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,700 You have to build trust with people. 495 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:34,880 I mean, 496 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,880 trust is the fabric that holds society together. 497 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,780 It holds your relationship with someone else and you really need 498 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,440 to do that. 499 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,620 And how you do that is to lead with giving. 500 00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:48,650 And that's why you ask someone early on what are the 501 00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:50,090 challenges that you're having. 502 00:18:50,270 --> 00:18:54,230 What's really holding you back from doing whatever their passion is 503 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,480 or whatever it is that they really are interested in their 504 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,120 life. Because if you can help them with that, 505 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,310 they will do anything for you. 506 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,260 And if you ask a question, 507 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,340 what are your challenges? 508 00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:06,740 You can either help them in the moment. 509 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,950 You might have a co also a contact that they could 510 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:10,760 talk to. 511 00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:12,470 You might have a book idea. 512 00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:14,840 You might have another reference or resource, 513 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,190 or you might say, 514 00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:17,300 I don't really know. 515 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,470 Let me go look into it. 516 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:20,150 And then you take your card and follow up with them. 517 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:24,170 Or It might be that you find a resource that can 518 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,490 help them next month. 519 00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,780 And then you follow up with them and say, 520 00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:28,610 Hey, I just met somebody who could really help you with 521 00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:29,570 what you were talking about. 522 00:19:29,990 --> 00:19:31,670 Yeah. And that's the most important thing. 523 00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:33,590 And if there's opportunity, 524 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:34,820 you can tell them, 525 00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:35,060 you know, 526 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:36,530 what challenges you're having. 527 00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:39,620 And that's a great thing to ask someone and also in 528 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:40,940 a conversation there, 529 00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,200 the other part of is it, 530 00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,770 you can ask that and also whom do you know that 531 00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:46,880 I should speak to, 532 00:19:46,910 --> 00:19:49,130 right? And if you ask them a question who do you 533 00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:52,460 know, it's a lot better than asking him, 534 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:53,420 do you know anyone? 535 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:56,630 Because a lot of the times the contacts that someone can 536 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,570 give you are way more important than the actual information. 537 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,430 Because a lot of times they're not going to have a 538 00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,620 job. They're not going to have lead that you need or 539 00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,480 whatever it is that you need specifically, 540 00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,780 or have that information that don't know people that are. 541 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,050 So part of every conversation is when you lead with giving. 542 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,300 When you want to ask for something back, 543 00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:16,820 people are much more ready, 544 00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:21,290 willing, and able to do it for you because they know 545 00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:24,410 that you're a person who doesn't keep a score card and 546 00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:25,640 you lead with that in your life. 547 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:30,470 And the only people that don't have scorecards in people's lives 548 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,270 are people in their inner circle, 549 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,610 meaning to be a spouse, 550 00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:35,780 could be a best friend, 551 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:37,280 could be a business partner. 552 00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,410 It could be anyone family members. 553 00:20:39,770 --> 00:20:42,980 And so when you psychologically put yourself in that place, 554 00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:46,970 it's a really magical thing that can happen in that relationship 555 00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:47,500 right away. 556 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,520 You don't need to wait. 557 00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:51,070 Most people think that they have to ask these questions, 558 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:51,580 the fourth, 559 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:52,840 fifth, sixth conversation. 560 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,370 But Y you can ask them right away. 561 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:57,090 I love the way you've put this about being able to 562 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,410 be in the inner circle. 563 00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:02,850 There's no scorecard at that point Years ago, 564 00:21:02,910 --> 00:21:05,250 after I moved to Dallas and I didn't know a single 565 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,240 person here, 566 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,850 I was going out to a lot of charity events and 567 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:09,900 non-profit events, 568 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:13,080 which I think are the best places to go and network 569 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:13,920 and meet people. 570 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,730 Either people I'd meet out in different places and they'd be 571 00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:20,040 introducing me as you should meet Jason. 572 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:20,910 He's a great guy. 573 00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:22,590 Jason's the mayor of Dallas. 574 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,000 Jason's a fantastic person. 575 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,960 You should get to know. 576 00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,600 And I knew some of these people for less than 30 577 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,100 minutes, I saw them multiple times. 578 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,530 They probably knew almost next to nothing about me. 579 00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:34,710 And that's how they're leading with that interaction. 580 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,180 And I thought to myself in the beginning, 581 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:37,380 these people are crazy. 582 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,460 Something's going on. 583 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,710 And then I realized it was something that I was doing 584 00:21:40,770 --> 00:21:42,180 that most people just don't do, 585 00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,620 and I could do it so fast. 586 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,660 And I could create that level of rapport. 587 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:49,200 And that's something that anyone can do and master if they 588 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,100 actually practice it, 589 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:53,640 because all social communication and emotional skill sets are all learned 590 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,800 behaviors. It's just like going to the gym. 591 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,000 You weren't going to get better at them. 592 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,560 If you practice them once a month. 593 00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:00,300 And even if you're an introvert, 594 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:01,950 you can be really good at this. 595 00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:02,760 I have friends, 596 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,760 I have clients of mine or introverts that are really, 597 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,370 really good at networking and relationship building. 598 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,870 They do it in a different way, 599 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,600 but they're equally as powerful as an extrovert. 600 00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:14,160 Okay. So That's perfect. 601 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,800 Cause this leads into my very next question for you, 602 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,210 which is you're right. 603 00:22:18,210 --> 00:22:21,780 A lot of people going to these events is very uncomfortable. 604 00:22:21,810 --> 00:22:22,080 You know, 605 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,120 what, if they walk in and don't know anybody, 606 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,590 how do they integrate in, 607 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:26,700 what do they say? 608 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:27,060 You know, 609 00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:29,850 everyone kind of turns a light on to themselves and like, 610 00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:30,030 you know, 611 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,950 am I going to look unprofessional? 612 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,020 Am I just going to be standing in a corner? 613 00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:34,350 You know, 614 00:22:34,350 --> 00:22:35,310 that kind of thing. 615 00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:38,520 And it's interesting because as you get to know more and 616 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,580 more people who you consider to be leaders, 617 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:42,870 they also say, 618 00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:43,350 well, you know, 619 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:45,660 I'm really not that extroverted. 620 00:22:45,660 --> 00:22:45,780 You know, 621 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:47,130 I'm really pretty shy, 622 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,110 but you would never know it when they go to these 623 00:22:49,110 --> 00:22:50,940 events based on all that, 624 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,960 what steps or advice would you give someone who's listening here 625 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:55,380 and is like, 626 00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:55,920 oh my gosh, 627 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,440 there's a networking event coming up next week. 628 00:22:58,470 --> 00:23:00,210 Maybe I should change my ways. 629 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,270 How do I do that? 630 00:23:03,270 --> 00:23:06,600 How do I enter into a room and be more confident 631 00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:09,810 and change and do something different than I've always done before? 632 00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:11,820 Do you have any advice for those People? 633 00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:14,790 Right. I'm going out tonight before I leave, 634 00:23:14,790 --> 00:23:15,750 no matter where I'm at, 635 00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:18,240 I like to listen to some music or I'll have some 636 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,970 affirmations. I'll tell myself I'm going to have another great night 637 00:23:20,970 --> 00:23:21,720 as usual. 638 00:23:21,910 --> 00:23:23,370 I'm going to go on a walk in a room. 639 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:26,340 And I visualize people giving me a high five and hugging 640 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:29,640 me and just really being engaged in that moment. 641 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:32,460 And then I think that helps to start having visual cues, 642 00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:34,710 listening to music helps people as well. 643 00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:37,260 So get them a little bit more fired up. 644 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,520 And I think that's important. 645 00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:40,890 I think for some clients and friends of mine, 646 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,490 I've recommended that they contact the organizers and asked to work 647 00:23:44,490 --> 00:23:45,350 the check-in table. 648 00:23:45,740 --> 00:23:48,110 Because if you work the check-in table on the first or 649 00:23:48,110 --> 00:23:49,040 second shift, 650 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,450 it's you to check people in, 651 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,500 you meet peoples, 652 00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:52,070 they come in, 653 00:23:52,070 --> 00:23:53,990 you also get more familiar with the room. 654 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:56,030 So you feel comfortable in it. 655 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,400 And you also can meet some of the people that are 656 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,370 running the group and Dale know people that are coming to 657 00:24:01,370 --> 00:24:01,850 the event. 658 00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:04,580 So they'll introduce people to you as well. 659 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:07,790 And it's also easier when you work an offer to do 660 00:24:07,790 --> 00:24:10,580 that, because then you feel like you're a part of something 661 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,100 and you feel like you're owning it and you can go 662 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:14,720 up and walk up to someone and say, 663 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:15,080 you know, 664 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,280 welcome, thanks for coming. 665 00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,350 And you're a part of the organization and people say, 666 00:24:18,380 --> 00:24:19,190 oh, well, 667 00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:19,580 do you, 668 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,480 are you a part of the group? 669 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:20,900 And you could say, 670 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:21,410 well, yes, 671 00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:23,030 I volunteer for the first time tonight. 672 00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:24,470 And you can have as a conversation, 673 00:24:24,650 --> 00:24:25,610 but also people are coming, 674 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:28,190 checking in and they're seeing you sitting there and they have 675 00:24:28,190 --> 00:24:28,820 to talk to you, 676 00:24:29,030 --> 00:24:29,930 right? So there, 677 00:24:30,050 --> 00:24:32,810 you're having a reason to engage with them because they need 678 00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:34,880 to check in pay or whatever it might be. 679 00:24:35,180 --> 00:24:37,610 And that is really helpful because then when your shift is 680 00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,110 over and you walk out, 681 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:41,060 you'll be meeting people for the second time. 682 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:43,160 So that's really helpful. 683 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:44,450 The other thing too, 684 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,390 is I love to introduce people to other people. 685 00:24:47,390 --> 00:24:48,710 It is the number one, 686 00:24:48,740 --> 00:24:53,450 most powerful influencing tip that anyone can ever do. 687 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,350 And it's makes people a little awkward initially, 688 00:24:57,740 --> 00:24:59,420 but everyone feels like that, 689 00:24:59,450 --> 00:25:00,530 but it always works. 690 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,210 And what I mean by this is let's say I'm on 691 00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:06,080 the way to getting food or the bar or someplace where 692 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,190 people are lining up. 693 00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:08,630 If you're standing there, 694 00:25:08,630 --> 00:25:11,750 there's going to be people all around you typically. 695 00:25:12,050 --> 00:25:13,850 And so if there's someone in my right, 696 00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:14,870 I'll say to them, 697 00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:15,770 Hey, how's it going? 698 00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:16,190 You know, 699 00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:17,390 what's on your agenda this week. 700 00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:19,520 How did you learn about this organization? 701 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,150 Are you a member? 702 00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:24,080 I'll ask them some little tidbit questions and whatever their answer 703 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,700 is. It doesn't really matter. 704 00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:27,470 I might ask them one other question, 705 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:30,710 and then there'll be someone on my left and I'll look 706 00:25:30,710 --> 00:25:32,240 over that person on my last. 707 00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:32,810 And I'll say, 708 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,380 how's it going? 709 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:35,450 And they'll say whatever they're going to say. 710 00:25:35,630 --> 00:25:38,750 And then literally use my index fingers and I'll take them 711 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:41,480 from outside of my body and I'll cross them over and 712 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,290 cross my arms. 713 00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,120 And I'll say simultaneously, 714 00:25:44,180 --> 00:25:45,530 Hey, you two should meet each other. 715 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:46,520 Let's have some fun here. 716 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,390 I'll say something else. 717 00:25:47,390 --> 00:25:48,590 And it doesn't really matter. 718 00:25:48,950 --> 00:25:50,180 And they'll start talking to each other. 719 00:25:50,210 --> 00:25:51,440 And I don't even know any of their names. 720 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,090 Like I don't even ask people their names at that point, 721 00:25:53,090 --> 00:25:54,380 because they'll do that then. 722 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:55,670 And I'll learn their names. 723 00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:57,950 And I can do that with a person behind me as 724 00:25:57,950 --> 00:26:00,860 well. And I just interrupt people because people want to meet 725 00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:02,450 other people and they appreciate it. 726 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,600 And they don't feel like it's interrupting and you can now 727 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,620 meet all these people. 728 00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:09,470 And then what happens is when you start doing that and 729 00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:11,810 the conversations may run a minute, 730 00:26:11,810 --> 00:26:13,220 they may run 30 seconds. 731 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,570 They may run five minutes, 732 00:26:14,570 --> 00:26:16,070 but you don't have to be around them all the time. 733 00:26:16,070 --> 00:26:17,780 You can just walk away and do whatever you want. 734 00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:19,280 But then when you walk around the room, 735 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,680 you're getting a great introduction to new people, 736 00:26:21,770 --> 00:26:23,060 right? That person is going to say, 737 00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:24,500 Hey, you should go meet Jason. 738 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:25,880 And there'll be like a wonderful, 739 00:26:26,180 --> 00:26:26,870 how do you know them? 740 00:26:27,190 --> 00:26:30,070 Right. I love All the detail that you gave and the 741 00:26:30,070 --> 00:26:32,200 visual. And I'm going to actually use that at one of 742 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,300 my next event Works every time I've done it, 743 00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:36,100 hundreds of thousands of times. 744 00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:36,400 And you know, 745 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,220 the worst case scenario you're going to have is someone will 746 00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:40,990 just say hi and walk away. 747 00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:42,820 And I've had that happen before. 748 00:26:42,870 --> 00:26:43,830 And that does, 749 00:26:43,830 --> 00:26:45,690 but that's the worst that happens. 750 00:26:46,170 --> 00:26:48,990 The best that happens is they start talking to each other 751 00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:50,460 and love the conversation. 752 00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:53,790 And you now you are the hub that brought the spokes 753 00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:56,310 together, and everyone will remember that the rest of their life. 754 00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:57,900 And I have people here who do this, 755 00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:58,890 that have gotten married, 756 00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:00,690 run marathons and taken trips. 757 00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:01,920 And I'm the person that, 758 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:02,790 how they got connected. 759 00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:04,260 That is very cool, 760 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:07,350 right? So I hold a special place with them for doing 761 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:08,610 nothing. A lot of times, 762 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,260 these people are just acquaintances in my life. 763 00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:12,180 Like I don't really even know them all the time. 764 00:27:12,210 --> 00:27:12,780 This happens. 765 00:27:12,870 --> 00:27:14,940 I went to a Dallas Mavericks game on a random couple 766 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:17,940 of people that were there together that I actually introduced that 767 00:27:17,950 --> 00:27:19,950 a function a couple of years ago, 768 00:27:19,980 --> 00:27:22,050 and that I've not seen in a really long time. 769 00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:24,810 And they even told me that when I was there and 770 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:25,140 I thought, 771 00:27:25,140 --> 00:27:27,540 that's the magic of doing this is sure. 772 00:27:27,540 --> 00:27:28,800 It takes you out of your comfort zone. 773 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,810 And everyone's nervous doing this the first time. 774 00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:32,730 And they feel like they're focused on their words, 775 00:27:32,910 --> 00:27:35,640 but the words still matter because people want to meet new 776 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,220 people. So they're not focusing on your words. 777 00:27:38,460 --> 00:27:40,560 They're looking at that other person in the back of their 778 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:41,190 head. They're thinking, 779 00:27:41,190 --> 00:27:42,120 what am I going to say? 780 00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:43,350 So your words are like, 781 00:27:43,350 --> 00:27:43,850 blah, blah, 782 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,250 blah, blah, 783 00:27:44,250 --> 00:27:46,800 blah. All they're knowing is they're now have a window to 784 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,350 talk to someone else that they didn't have before. 785 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,500 Really, really good input. 786 00:27:51,530 --> 00:27:52,610 Thank you so much. 787 00:27:53,150 --> 00:27:56,330 We're going to move now into the reflection section. 788 00:27:56,690 --> 00:27:58,460 This is a place where we look at you, 789 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:01,880 Jason, and what's helped you to succeed along the way. 790 00:28:02,420 --> 00:28:05,090 And this answer is probably going to be very obvious, 791 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,690 but what natural trait do you have that you believe has 792 00:28:08,690 --> 00:28:10,850 helped you to be as successful as you are now? 793 00:28:11,780 --> 00:28:16,640 The most undervalued underused traits that we have in our life 794 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,810 today is curiosity. 795 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,730 And I think curiosity is absolutely something that is essential. 796 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,320 That's allowed me to figure out what I've done. 797 00:28:24,710 --> 00:28:26,900 It also has led me to be much more creative in 798 00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:30,350 my life and creative in the sense of not just doing 799 00:28:30,410 --> 00:28:31,790 art or music, 800 00:28:31,820 --> 00:28:35,090 but being creative as thinking about things in a different way 801 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,740 and being innovative in my life. 802 00:28:37,220 --> 00:28:40,190 And that is which really helped me figure this out because 803 00:28:40,190 --> 00:28:42,920 I've done things that other people are unwilling to do on 804 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,690 a consistent basis in my life. 805 00:28:45,260 --> 00:28:48,230 And I've learned that the more uncertainty I can live with 806 00:28:48,590 --> 00:28:50,540 the better my life is, 807 00:28:50,930 --> 00:28:53,120 and the more opportunities that come about, 808 00:28:53,870 --> 00:28:57,320 because Your mind isn't closed to new options that present themselves, 809 00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,450 Right? And I'm trying new things. 810 00:28:59,450 --> 00:29:00,380 I'm being open, 811 00:29:00,410 --> 00:29:01,640 I'm being vulnerable, 812 00:29:01,910 --> 00:29:03,290 I'm being more authentic. 813 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:04,700 I'm speaking my truth. 814 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,030 I'm doing things that are putting me out there that are 815 00:29:08,030 --> 00:29:10,730 uncertain and they're in levels of discomfort, 816 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:12,860 but that's where the magic in life happens. 817 00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:17,390 And you'll find that people who do that have a much 818 00:29:17,390 --> 00:29:20,690 higher quality of life and they're much more financially successful, 819 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,460 and they're much more fulfilled. 820 00:29:22,910 --> 00:29:25,730 The magic Happens outside of your comfort zone, 821 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:26,540 who says that. 822 00:29:26,540 --> 00:29:27,020 Do you know? 823 00:29:27,770 --> 00:29:28,390 I don't know. 824 00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:29,450 I love that Quote, 825 00:29:29,450 --> 00:29:30,290 but it's so true. 826 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:33,830 What tool do you use regularly to help you keep productive 827 00:29:33,860 --> 00:29:35,540 or to create balance in your Life? 828 00:29:36,050 --> 00:29:37,070 No, it's a pretty simple. 829 00:29:37,070 --> 00:29:39,740 I have a to do list that I use on my 830 00:29:39,740 --> 00:29:42,220 phone. I also calendar things in. 831 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,230 I think one of the challenges people have, 832 00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:47,380 and I told all my clients is that calendar your life 833 00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:48,010 because it's, 834 00:29:48,010 --> 00:29:49,000 during the day, 835 00:29:49,060 --> 00:29:50,410 you don't write down, 836 00:29:50,410 --> 00:29:54,490 I'm going to exercise or I'm going to take 15 minutes 837 00:29:54,490 --> 00:29:55,630 to go meditate, 838 00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:58,180 or I'm going to go take time to go to a 839 00:29:58,180 --> 00:30:00,700 networking event or whatever it might be, 840 00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:01,420 just won't do it. 841 00:30:01,780 --> 00:30:04,900 And you tend then to keep putting other people first and 842 00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:06,910 yourself last and in life, 843 00:30:07,300 --> 00:30:09,940 you have to put yourself first because you don't have enough 844 00:30:09,940 --> 00:30:10,990 to give other people. 845 00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:13,390 And it's a misnomer to put other people first. 846 00:30:13,570 --> 00:30:16,420 You can't keep balance in your life unless you calendar it 847 00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:20,160 in. How much time do you take out of your day? 848 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,830 Let's say calendaring versus doing, 849 00:30:23,250 --> 00:30:24,270 how detailed do you go? 850 00:30:24,270 --> 00:30:26,490 And how much time does it take you to do I 851 00:30:26,490 --> 00:30:27,630 do it pretty broadly, 852 00:30:27,630 --> 00:30:31,650 right? So what I'll do is tonight I go to a 853 00:30:31,860 --> 00:30:33,210 group exercise class. 854 00:30:33,210 --> 00:30:34,860 And so I write that down in my calendar. 855 00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,620 So I know that it's there on, 856 00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,490 if I look out during the week and there's events, 857 00:30:38,490 --> 00:30:39,060 I'm doing, 858 00:30:39,090 --> 00:30:39,810 I put those in there. 859 00:30:39,810 --> 00:30:41,760 So I can plan my week ahead of time and know 860 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,250 what I'm doing mentally be prepared for the days that are 861 00:30:44,250 --> 00:30:45,030 much more challenging, 862 00:30:45,030 --> 00:30:47,820 right? So if there's a big presentation on Thursday for a 863 00:30:47,820 --> 00:30:49,110 client, I've got to work on. 864 00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:51,870 So I know on Tuesday and Wednesday, 865 00:30:51,870 --> 00:30:52,950 I've got to block out time. 866 00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:54,810 So if I block it all this time, 867 00:30:54,900 --> 00:30:56,910 there's less clutter on my head cause of my calendar, 868 00:30:57,210 --> 00:30:57,750 right? At a time, 869 00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:58,770 every day where I read, 870 00:30:58,830 --> 00:31:00,960 well, that's important to put out there because I don't need 871 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,700 to think about stuff it's just there. 872 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,860 And so I don't have to be that detailed, 873 00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:06,660 but if you start on Saturday or Sunday, 874 00:31:06,660 --> 00:31:07,770 planning out your week, 875 00:31:08,310 --> 00:31:11,490 it's much easier because you're not worried about missing something for 876 00:31:11,490 --> 00:31:12,120 getting things, 877 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:12,900 leaving it off. 878 00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,420 You're much more intentional and purposeful what's going on. 879 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:18,900 And it's also helpful for introverts because they have to be 880 00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:22,500 much more purposeful about going out and networking and meeting people 881 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,090 because of who they are. 882 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,480 And they've got to find time to recharge their batteries. 883 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,670 So it's much easier when you can know that on Thursday 884 00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:30,750 from six to eight, 885 00:31:30,810 --> 00:31:33,030 you're going to go to a networking event because then you 886 00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:36,300 can do whatever necessary around that time to prepare yourself, 887 00:31:36,300 --> 00:31:39,030 then not to burn yourself out or get yourself in a 888 00:31:39,060 --> 00:31:39,630 challenging place. 889 00:31:40,230 --> 00:31:41,820 And you Don't end up at the end of the week 890 00:31:41,820 --> 00:31:42,630 saying, oh man, 891 00:31:42,630 --> 00:31:43,950 I meant to do this This week. 892 00:31:44,130 --> 00:31:47,100 Exactly. And it helps you remember other things that you need 893 00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:47,610 to do. 894 00:31:47,610 --> 00:31:49,350 And also just keep yourself accountable. 895 00:31:49,380 --> 00:31:52,560 Right? Part of it is having calendaring things in is you 896 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,540 now you're accountable for it because it's in front of you. 897 00:31:54,540 --> 00:31:55,290 But when it's in your head, 898 00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:55,800 you're not. 899 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,200 So you can procrastinate and not do it. 900 00:31:58,530 --> 00:32:00,150 Right. But if it's on a calendar, 901 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,360 you have to be accountable to it because it's there. 902 00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:04,200 All right. 903 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,570 So I think I heard that reading is one of the 904 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,730 things that you schedule into your calendar. 905 00:32:09,180 --> 00:32:11,670 What book have you read lately that you think our listeners 906 00:32:11,670 --> 00:32:12,600 could find value in? 907 00:32:13,350 --> 00:32:16,170 So I love this book called rising strong from Bray. 908 00:32:16,170 --> 00:32:20,940 Brown just came out in August and it's absolutely fantastic book 909 00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:25,260 at how to rumble and deal with things in your life 910 00:32:25,260 --> 00:32:28,020 that are really challenging and really getting tapped with more of 911 00:32:28,020 --> 00:32:30,000 your emotions and your blind spots. 912 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,570 And so I highly recommend that and it's great for business 913 00:32:33,570 --> 00:32:34,560 and personal use. 914 00:32:34,770 --> 00:32:38,310 I love another book I'm starting to read called the one 915 00:32:38,310 --> 00:32:39,770 thing by Keller. 916 00:32:40,340 --> 00:32:42,800 And that's really a great book as well. 917 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:43,520 And it talks about, 918 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:43,730 you know, 919 00:32:43,730 --> 00:32:45,740 how to develop your one thing in your life though. 920 00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:47,110 I love The one thing, 921 00:32:47,110 --> 00:32:48,910 but I haven't heard rising strong. 922 00:32:48,940 --> 00:32:50,740 So I'm going to have to go check that out. 923 00:32:50,740 --> 00:32:54,430 That sounds really interesting Gift biz Listeners, 924 00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:56,590 just as you're listening to the podcast today, 925 00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:59,080 you can also listen to audio books with ease. 926 00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:01,420 I've teamed up with audible for you to be able to 927 00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:04,480 get an audio book just like rising strong, 928 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,760 or the one thing for free. 929 00:33:07,030 --> 00:33:09,490 All you need to do is go to gift biz, 930 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:13,030 book.com and there you can make a selection for your free 931 00:33:13,030 --> 00:33:15,700 book. That's gift biz book.com. 932 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:17,350 Okay, Jason, 933 00:33:17,350 --> 00:33:18,940 we're winding down now. 934 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,780 And I would like to present you with your virtual gift. 935 00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:27,310 It's a magical box containing unlimited possibilities for your future. 936 00:33:27,610 --> 00:33:31,240 This is your dream or your goal of almost unreachable Heights 937 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,620 that you would wish to obtain. 938 00:33:33,100 --> 00:33:36,220 Please accept this gift and open it in our presence. 939 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,140 What is inside your box? 940 00:33:38,710 --> 00:33:43,180 It is a life filled with amazing, 941 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,950 fantastic, loving, 942 00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:47,080 vulnerable, authentic people, 943 00:33:47,410 --> 00:33:50,200 because relationships are what we're here for. 944 00:33:50,230 --> 00:33:50,530 I mean, 945 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,710 in connection is part of a reason for living. 946 00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:56,470 And so I want to have those magical people in my 947 00:33:56,470 --> 00:33:59,590 life because then everything is unlimited and limitless. 948 00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:02,500 Yeah. Your life just becomes so much more enriched. 949 00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:04,240 It does Just in your business. 950 00:34:04,450 --> 00:34:05,710 It's all about connection. 951 00:34:05,770 --> 00:34:09,580 And my business referrals are way stronger and every everyone's else 952 00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:12,640 business than it is getting a cold lead just is. 953 00:34:12,700 --> 00:34:14,260 I don't have to do near the work. 954 00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:15,280 And so does everyone else. 955 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,360 So cultivating those people in your business and finding them are 956 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,140 absolutely critical. 957 00:34:20,140 --> 00:34:21,430 And it's the same thing in your life. 958 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:25,750 And the challenging thing too in life is that you have 959 00:34:25,750 --> 00:34:30,250 to keep finding more people because you may evolve and other 960 00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:31,660 people may not as well. 961 00:34:31,660 --> 00:34:32,710 And that happens all the time. 962 00:34:32,890 --> 00:34:35,920 Very few people that were my good friends five years ago 963 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,280 are my good friends now because I'm changing and evolving and 964 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,690 they're most people are just not. 965 00:34:40,990 --> 00:34:43,600 And so it's taken me in a whole different path and 966 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,150 I met a fantastic new people in my life. 967 00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:48,730 I didn't hold on to old relationships to hold on to 968 00:34:48,730 --> 00:34:51,670 them. I found new people on my journey and you know, 969 00:34:51,670 --> 00:34:55,270 they've been a really wonderful addition and I think people need 970 00:34:55,270 --> 00:34:55,750 to do that. 971 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:59,290 So having a lot of people in your life at different 972 00:34:59,290 --> 00:35:02,050 varying levels is important because you never know when someone is 973 00:35:02,050 --> 00:35:04,360 going to step up and be in your inner circle. 974 00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:07,150 This is a really strong concept, 975 00:35:07,150 --> 00:35:07,570 I think. 976 00:35:07,570 --> 00:35:09,280 And I appreciate your sharing it with us. 977 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:09,820 If you're friends, 978 00:35:09,820 --> 00:35:11,590 you're probably always going to be friends, 979 00:35:11,890 --> 00:35:14,830 but the people that are going to energize you and take 980 00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:18,040 you to your own next level might change over time. 981 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:18,880 Just as you're talking to me. 982 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,730 And often The other thing too is where our blind spots 983 00:35:21,730 --> 00:35:23,170 are. We attract those same people. 984 00:35:23,350 --> 00:35:26,980 So when you start doing more work on yourself and really 985 00:35:27,010 --> 00:35:30,070 taking in grappling with some hard issues what's going to happen 986 00:35:30,070 --> 00:35:31,990 is you're going to see your life in the world in 987 00:35:31,990 --> 00:35:32,650 a new way. 988 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,650 And you're going to see other people around you that are 989 00:35:35,650 --> 00:35:36,640 having these blind spots. 990 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,790 And they may be the people that you want anymore in 991 00:35:38,790 --> 00:35:39,210 your life. 992 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:41,550 They may be friends that are now acquaintances of yours, 993 00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:45,000 and you need new people in your life that really help 994 00:35:45,030 --> 00:35:47,970 uplift you and move you forward in your life and want 995 00:35:47,970 --> 00:35:48,660 to be around more. 996 00:35:49,460 --> 00:35:52,760 Well, I'm going to join all my listeners and wish you 997 00:35:52,790 --> 00:35:54,800 that that all comes true in your life. 998 00:35:54,830 --> 00:35:57,110 And I seem to think it's going to Jason. 999 00:35:59,540 --> 00:36:00,110 There you go. 1000 00:36:00,380 --> 00:36:02,660 How can our listeners reach out to you if they want 1001 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:03,320 to know more? 1002 00:36:03,770 --> 00:36:07,610 Sure they can go to be extraordinary.tv. 1003 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,220 That's be extra ordinary.tv, 1004 00:36:10,220 --> 00:36:11,030 all one word, 1005 00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:15,680 and you can go get free downloads and guides on networking. 1006 00:36:15,770 --> 00:36:19,100 Even if you're an introvert on personal branding on how to 1007 00:36:19,100 --> 00:36:20,150 make breakthroughs, 1008 00:36:20,150 --> 00:36:21,320 how to do some inner work. 1009 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:21,740 And there's, 1010 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,300 you can get links from my book, 1011 00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:27,110 social wealth on Amazon there's coaching options there, 1012 00:36:27,110 --> 00:36:29,510 and next year there'll will be a product. 1013 00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:30,320 There You go. 1014 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:31,970 And as you all know, 1015 00:36:31,970 --> 00:36:32,870 gift biz listeners, 1016 00:36:32,870 --> 00:36:35,720 you can jump right over to the show notes page and 1017 00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:39,200 there, I will have all the information also on how you 1018 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,490 can get in touch with Jason. 1019 00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:42,560 I'm also going to be including his book, 1020 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:43,250 of course, 1021 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,990 in the show notes page as well. 1022 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:45,620 So, Jason, 1023 00:36:45,650 --> 00:36:46,430 thank you so much. 1024 00:36:46,430 --> 00:36:49,520 You've really given us a lot of good information on how 1025 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,550 we can go out and make ourselves more memorable, 1026 00:36:52,550 --> 00:36:55,670 more impressionable connect with people better. 1027 00:36:55,850 --> 00:36:58,220 And all of that leads to a stronger business. 1028 00:36:58,220 --> 00:37:01,040 And it's been a real gift having you share things that 1029 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:01,670 quite honestly, 1030 00:37:01,670 --> 00:37:02,810 I've not heard before. 1031 00:37:03,170 --> 00:37:06,380 So I appreciate your time and all of the insights that 1032 00:37:06,380 --> 00:37:13,790 you've given us and may your candle Learn how to work 1033 00:37:13,790 --> 00:37:16,190 smarter while developing and growing your business. 1034 00:37:16,370 --> 00:37:19,910 Download our guide called 25 free tools to enhance your business 1035 00:37:19,910 --> 00:37:20,450 and life. 1036 00:37:20,660 --> 00:37:24,410 It's our gift to you and available@giftbizonrap.com 1037 00:37:24,410 --> 00:37:25,490 slash tools. 1038 00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:27,830 Thanks for listening and be sure to join us for the 1039 00:37:27,830 --> 00:37:28,700 next episode. 1040 00:37:31,070 --> 00:37:34,010 Today's show is sponsored by the ribbon print company, 1041 00:37:34,700 --> 00:37:37,340 looking for a new income source for your gift business. 1042 00:37:37,550 --> 00:37:41,960 Customization is more popular now than ever grander products of your 1043 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,880 logo or print a happy birthday, 1044 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:44,690 Jessica Gribbin, 1045 00:37:44,750 --> 00:37:45,680 to add to a gift, 1046 00:37:45,710 --> 00:37:48,890 right? A checkout it's all done right in your shop or 1047 00:37:48,890 --> 00:37:50,300 cross studio in seconds. 1048 00:37:50,870 --> 00:37:53,330 Check out the ribbon print company.com 1049 00:37:53,420 --> 00:37:58,340 for more information after you listened to the show, 1050 00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,780 if you like what you're hearing, 1051 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,840 make sure to jump over and subscribe to the show on 1052 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,620 iTunes. That way you'll automatically get the newest episode when they 1053 00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:07,040 go live. 1054 00:38:07,850 --> 00:38:10,580 And thank you to those who have already left a rating 1055 00:38:10,610 --> 00:38:15,290 and review by subscribing rating and reviewing help to increase the 1056 00:38:15,290 --> 00:38:16,640 visibility of getting this. 1057 00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:18,770 On-ramp. It's a great way to pay, 1058 00:38:19,550 --> 00:38:22,610 to help others with their entrepreneurial journey as well.